0:00:02 > 0:00:05# In heav'n the bells are ringing
0:00:05 > 0:00:07# Ding dong merrily on high. #
0:00:07 > 0:00:09- You are one cheeky madam!- Hmm.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12Good to see nothing's changed.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14- Sidney!- Hello, Sid!
0:00:14 > 0:00:17We weren't expecting you until tomorrow.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19Yeah, I cadged a lift on the diplomatic flight, didn't I?
0:00:19 > 0:00:20How's Aunt Fliss?
0:00:20 > 0:00:23Yes, she's good. Sends her love. Oh, she's got news.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26One for you. One for you.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28And this comes with strict instructions to
0:00:28 > 0:00:30open before Christmas.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40I hope this will go perfectly with your sage twinset
0:00:40 > 0:00:42for the WI Committee dinner.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45The Duchess of Windsor has an identical one.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Ghastly woman, but there's no denying
0:00:47 > 0:00:49she does have impeccable taste.
0:00:58 > 0:00:59Oh!
0:01:03 > 0:01:05I don't know what they've been feeding you,
0:01:05 > 0:01:07but you're all skin and bones.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12- It's good to be home.- Sit down. Sit down there.
0:01:12 > 0:01:13Plans for the holiday, Sid?
0:01:13 > 0:01:16Oh, you know, Mrs M's home-cooked food, and a nice quiet Christmas.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Oh! Oh! That is... Oh!
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Any idea who she is?
0:02:22 > 0:02:27Well, the money's on Scarlett Dreyfuss. December 1946.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31The papers called it the Red Riding Hood murder.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Did a Big Bad Wolf get her?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35She was leading lady in the Christmas pantomime.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Left after the dress rehearsal, and was never seen again.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Next day, the cleaning lady finds the bed unslept in.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44And downstairs, there's blood and signs of a struggle.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47How did they know it was murder?
0:02:47 > 0:02:48A local man confessed,
0:02:48 > 0:02:50though he wouldn't say what he did with the body.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Currently serving life in HMP Wynchurch.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54Well, that's something.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59What a waste.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Have I missed something?
0:03:10 > 0:03:13The pantomime's being held at the Haydock this year,
0:03:13 > 0:03:15so they need a much larger cast.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18No chance. Spend my holiday cooped up in a theatre?
0:03:18 > 0:03:21No, thank you. Mind you, Mrs M, you're the old pro.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Well, I was roped in for Fairy Godmother
0:03:23 > 0:03:25while on tour with my late husband.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29And I hear Father Brown is quite the thespian.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31- BOTH:- Pontius Pilate.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34I think I gave a convincing performance.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36The reviewer said it was murderous.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Speaking of which, remember this?
0:03:50 > 0:03:55I spy the honourable Penelope Windermere.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Quite the box office draw.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Let's pray she can sing and act.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01They won't be coming to listen to her.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03- I hope you don't expect me to audition.- Douglas.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Douglas, shake a leg and let them in.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16And may God have mercy on our souls.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Good afternoon. I'm Prudence Bovary, the artistic director.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Leading players, Rose Marie Sturgess
0:04:30 > 0:04:32and Dr Eugene Cornelius.
0:04:32 > 0:04:38And my son Douglas - our stage manager, actor, and pianist.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Aren't there a lot of you?
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Right. Douglas.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Who are you reading for?
0:05:02 > 0:05:04- Prince Charming!- It's played by a girl. Next!
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Next!
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Bunty Windermere, auditioning for Cinderella.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16I don't think so, dear.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Sleeping in the cinders.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23That's how I got my name.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Ever since my father died, things haven't been the same.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Except mother bosses me around. That's just the way it goes.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Like the ash in the fireplace, she does get up my nose.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Next!
0:05:38 > 0:05:43- Are you ready? One. One, two, three. - Next!
0:05:44 > 0:05:48This is Bridget McCarthy, auditioning for the Fairy Godmother.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52At the stroke of midnight, please beware - these things return to
0:05:52 > 0:05:56what they were. Your gown returns to rags and cloak.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Your pumpkin is no more a coach.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03But dance, be gay, perchance to meet -
0:06:03 > 0:06:06a prince to sweep you off your feet.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Young man! How tall are you?
0:06:08 > 0:06:09- Six foot two, why?- Name?
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Sidney Carter. Whoa, whoa, whoa - I'm not auditioning.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14No, I'm just here for moral support.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25Next!
0:06:29 > 0:06:30Dear God!
0:06:33 > 0:06:37The lights turn blue. It is dead midnight.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41What do I fear?
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Myself? There is none else here.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Richard loves Richard.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50That is, I am who I am.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Is there a murderer here? No.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00Yes, I am. Then fly.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Who from, myself?
0:07:19 > 0:07:20Thank you.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Yes, sir?
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Tell me about Benedict Clough.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37Benny? Nice lad, but simple, if you get my drift.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Made a living making bicycle deliveries.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41And Scarlett Dreyfuss?
0:07:41 > 0:07:43A newcomer, rather racy for these parts.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Two ex-husbands and a roving eye.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49She must have ruffled a few feathers.
0:07:49 > 0:07:50She ruffled Benny's, all right.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53He followed her round like Mary's little lamb.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56So when she went missing he was number one suspect?
0:07:56 > 0:08:00He was spotted bicycling home in the vicinity with scratches on his face.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03When the police turned up to question him, he bolted.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06And when apprehended, confessed his socks off.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09"I did something bad to Miss Scarlett."
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Tried to assault her. When she fought back, he panicked.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Caved her skull in with a doorstop.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Did he, now?
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Why all the interest in a closed case?
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Because according to the postmortem,
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Benedict Clough's confession was a pack of lies.
0:08:33 > 0:08:34Fairy Godmother...
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Bunty Windermere.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40I know you had your heart set...
0:08:40 > 0:08:43No, no, no, that's wonderful. Don't you worry about me.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46And you are...
0:08:49 > 0:08:50Prompt.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53An indispensable part of any production.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Yes, yes, of course it is.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00And Father Brown is Daisy.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03And so is Sid.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08That's a mistake. I didn't even audition.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10And how can you have two Daisys?
0:09:10 > 0:09:13I think there is only one Daisy, but she's in two halves.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26The house is all decorated.
0:09:26 > 0:09:31Holly and ivy, and all the old decorations, except for the tree,
0:09:31 > 0:09:33which I'm saving for Christmas Eve.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Padre. I'd say this was a nice surprise,
0:09:38 > 0:09:41but then I'd be lying on both counts.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Benny isn't very fond of the police,
0:09:44 > 0:09:47so they thought it best a chaperone was present.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52Benny, this is Inspector Mallory.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54He's not as scary as he looks.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Does he know when I'm going home?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00I'm afraid not, but I do have some questions.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05In your confession, you said you hit Scarlett on the head with
0:10:05 > 0:10:09a doorstop, which you then buried with the body?
0:10:11 > 0:10:17We found the body. And there's no signs of skull trauma.
0:10:17 > 0:10:18Or a murder weapon.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30When arrested, you said, "I did something bad to Miss Scarlett".
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Can you explain what you meant?
0:10:32 > 0:10:33- She said I'd go to hell.- Nonsense.
0:10:35 > 0:10:41God forgives everyone who confesses their sins and tells the truth.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46I had a delivery for Miss Scarlett.
0:10:46 > 0:10:47I saw her car in the theatre.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49So I went in...
0:10:55 > 0:11:00- Bad boy! Playing Peeping Tom on naked ladies!- I wasn't.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03You'll go to hell for that.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07I brought your nerve powder from Dr Cornelius.
0:11:07 > 0:11:11Was it worth it, Benny? Did you like what you saw?
0:11:13 > 0:11:15There was no mention of this in your statement.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Benny can't read.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21The policeman wrote it and said
0:11:21 > 0:11:23if I signed it, then I'd be home in time for Christmas.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Lying's a Ten Commandment, isn't it, Father?
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Number nine. Loud and clear.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37What about in court? Why did you plead guilty?
0:11:37 > 0:11:38Ma said it was for the best.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Maybe I should have a word with your ma.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45She doesn't like policemen.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50I'll take a chaperone.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55Buttons, beware...
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Buttons, beware...
0:12:03 > 0:12:06The tree of truth will hear a lie.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10The tree of truth will hear a lie and drop an apple in your eye.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Good luck, Buttons.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Is there a girl you love, Buttons?
0:12:25 > 0:12:26No.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29There is! Is she someone I know?
0:12:30 > 0:12:31No. Ow...
0:12:32 > 0:12:36I think you're fibbing, Buttons. Who is she?
0:12:36 > 0:12:38It's...it's...
0:12:39 > 0:12:43Too early! Wait for the cue.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Again, please!
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Be a brick, Barbara, and gather up the apples.
0:12:48 > 0:12:49Er, it's Bridg...
0:12:57 > 0:12:59I was expecting something rather more festive.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05If you mean the letters, I write what he wants to hear.
0:13:05 > 0:13:11Benny loved Christmas. This place would look like Santa's grotto.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13When they took him away, I burnt the lot.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17What's the point of Christmas without a child?
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Scarlett Dreyfuss....
0:13:22 > 0:13:23Was a succubus.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26- Two Cs, one B.- Thank you.
0:13:27 > 0:13:32Any male was fair game, even a child in a man's body like Benny.
0:13:34 > 0:13:35Tell me about these other men?
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Ask that amateur dramatics lot.
0:13:40 > 0:13:45And then ask yourself why the police didn't interview them at the time.
0:13:48 > 0:13:49Mrs Clough.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54As you clearly believe your son is innocent, why did you get him
0:13:54 > 0:13:56to plead guilty?
0:13:56 > 0:13:57To save him from the noose.
0:13:59 > 0:14:05A guilty plea in return for a reduced charge of manslaughter.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06Your DI Jones was very...
0:14:09 > 0:14:10..persuasive.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14DI Jones passed away last year.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17I'm on the case now and if there has been any
0:14:17 > 0:14:21irregularity, you have my word it will be investigated.
0:14:23 > 0:14:24And you can keep your nose out.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32This made you angry?
0:14:32 > 0:14:33Yes.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36And did you express your anger?
0:14:36 > 0:14:38It's happening again!
0:14:55 > 0:14:57That's another fine mess you've got me into.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59That's showbiz, Sid!
0:14:59 > 0:15:04If anyone sees a cloak with a hood, I need it for the forest scene.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06HE WOLF-WHISTLES
0:15:06 > 0:15:08- Ow!- Sidney!
0:15:09 > 0:15:12You look like a fairy tale!
0:15:12 > 0:15:13It's a bit big.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17Well, a few alterations will soon fix that.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23I read all about the Red Riding Hood murder.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28I suppose she was a friend of yours?
0:15:28 > 0:15:29She was a piece of work.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33Translation - she stole the leading lady role from under your nose.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36I meant poor Douglas.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39He was engaged to a nice WAAF before she got her claws in him.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42And that ghastly scene at the dress rehearsal!
0:15:42 > 0:15:45I can't. Not here. I can't.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Something tells me that you can.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51You stupid, stupid boy.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55You do know he's engaged to be married?
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Maybe he can make an honest woman out of me, instead.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Then the flash pot went off,
0:15:59 > 0:16:03and Douglas had one of his episodes and bolted.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07He'll marry the likes of you over my dead body.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Episodes?
0:16:17 > 0:16:18He had a bad war.
0:16:18 > 0:16:22I was treating him for shell shock, and he was responding well until...
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Marvellous, we're a wardrobe mistress short.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Think you can double with prompt, Barbara?
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Well, I'm not sure I'm qualified, and it is Bridget.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34That's the spirit. You can start by sorting this lot out.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37The police need to speak to us about Scarlett.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38They're in the scene dock.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Well, you don't think any of us did it?
0:16:42 > 0:16:44I'm merely following up on some loose ends.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47And as Miss Dreyfuss was last seen alive in the theatre...
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Well, my husband will vouch for me.
0:16:50 > 0:16:51He most certainly can.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53- Sir.- Superintendent.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55At ease, lads. It's plain Mr Sturgess now.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58I wasn't aware.
0:16:58 > 0:16:59This gorgeous creature's my wife.
0:16:59 > 0:17:03And how's retirement treating you, sir... Mr Sturgess?
0:17:03 > 0:17:06As you see, she's roped me in as Baron Hardup.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09And why all the interest in the Dreyfuss case?
0:17:09 > 0:17:11A word in private.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Should I say something?
0:17:17 > 0:17:23Say what, exactly? You will say nothing to the police, Douglas.
0:17:25 > 0:17:31And we discovered he may have been duped into signing it by DI Jones.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35Who is unfortunately deceased and thus unable to defend himself.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39- But, sir...- It's a can of worms.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42You want the public thinking we left a killer on the loose?
0:17:42 > 0:17:46I'd call that a catastrophic own goal for community relations.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47Is that clear, son?
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Perfectly, Mr Sturgess.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53On the subject of which, we're still short on cast,
0:17:53 > 0:17:56and I'm sure the public would appreciate a police
0:17:56 > 0:17:58involvement in such a community event.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Happy to oblige, sir.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Good man. Good men.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Found you some volunteers, Pru...
0:18:07 > 0:18:11Lucky for you, I've no intention of dropping anything.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12We can do some sniffing around.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16I'm sure we can manage seventh and eighth villager.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20I'm sorry, sir.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21Oh, you will be, Sergeant.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Oh, they're a lovely fit.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28Here are your scripts, and we'll see you at rehearsals tomorrow.
0:18:28 > 0:18:33And when you're finished with those, just hang them up on the rail.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Will you help me out of my dress, sir, please?
0:18:55 > 0:18:59# I'm all a-quiver when the moonbeams dance
0:18:59 > 0:19:03# That is the moment when I long to dance
0:19:03 > 0:19:07# I can never close a sleepy eye
0:19:07 > 0:19:11# When the moon comes creeping through the sky. #
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Is this what you were looking for?
0:19:13 > 0:19:15If you're a fairy, can you grant me three wishes?
0:19:15 > 0:19:16Ugh! Where did you find that?
0:19:16 > 0:19:20In one of the costume trunks. Is something wrong?
0:19:20 > 0:19:23- Prompt!- Prompt!
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Who do you think I am? The genie of the lamp?
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Is something wrong?
0:19:29 > 0:19:31That's Red Riding Hood's cloak.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Dead woman's cloak. She wore it on the day she died.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Very well. One. But be careful what you wish for, Buttons.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39- The tree of truth hears everything. - Exit stage right. Lights down.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Something to share, Mrs McCarthy?
0:19:41 > 0:19:44If she wouldn't be seen dead in this, then I'm wondering why was
0:19:44 > 0:19:46her address found in the pocket?
0:19:50 > 0:19:52I think you're fibbing, Buttons. Who is she?
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Oh, how wonderful!
0:19:56 > 0:20:00Oh, how wonderful, tickets for the royal ball.
0:20:03 > 0:20:07Think of it as detention. There might be something we missed.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11And it's more productive than writing out 100 times,
0:20:11 > 0:20:13"I must not volunteer my superior officer for the part
0:20:13 > 0:20:15"of Ugly Sister".
0:20:15 > 0:20:20Actually, sir, we did miss something - or rather, something's missing.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Benny Clough made deliveries near Scarlett's
0:20:22 > 0:20:24house on the evening in question.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26All were followed up and statements taken.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30But there's one missing. Made by a Peggy Semple.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33And she is?
0:20:33 > 0:20:35No idea, sir. There's no record of her locally.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37- You sure it isn't just misfiled? - No, sir.
0:20:39 > 0:20:44You can see where the staple has been taken out
0:20:44 > 0:20:46and where it's been re-stapled.
0:20:49 > 0:20:50Quite the Dr Watson.
0:20:54 > 0:20:55Good luck, Buttons.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Is there a girl you love, Buttons?
0:21:04 > 0:21:05No.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Ow.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13There is! Is she someone I know?
0:21:14 > 0:21:15No.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Ow.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21I think you're fibbing, Buttons. Who is she?
0:21:22 > 0:21:26It's...it's...
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Vulgaria!
0:21:38 > 0:21:41What's the prognosis, Doctor?
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Sadly, I am a doctor of philosophy, not medicine.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46I thought...your clinic...
0:21:46 > 0:21:48I practise psychodynamic therapy,
0:21:48 > 0:21:53- focusing on psychological functioning and change.- Ah.
0:21:53 > 0:21:59But I can tell you he's in a deep coma and not expected to wake up.
0:22:10 > 0:22:14Silly boy. It was his own fault.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17He was in charge of numbering the ropes.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21but his head's been all over the place since...
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Since Scarlett's body was discovered.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Forgive me for eavesdropping, but I overheard him
0:22:28 > 0:22:30saying he wanted to go to the police.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35The night Scarlett went missing...
0:22:37 > 0:22:40..he didn't come home after leaving the theatre.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Staggered back at dawn covered in mud and leaves.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48Couldn't remember where he'd been or what he'd done, but...
0:22:48 > 0:22:52..when Benny confessed, I could see the relief in his eyes.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57And then the police started questioning his conviction.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Douglas was getting flashbacks to the woods that night,
0:23:00 > 0:23:02and he was frightened.
0:23:02 > 0:23:03Of what he might remember?
0:23:03 > 0:23:05I wouldn't have blamed him.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Douglas and Lizzie, his fiancee, were made for each other.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13She was even prepared to forgive his...blip with Scarlett.
0:23:15 > 0:23:20Idiot boy broke it off anyway. "I'm not worthy."
0:23:21 > 0:23:25Now I wonder if it's because he thought she'd be marrying a killer.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27I will pray for him.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36Shall I take this back to the theatre?
0:23:36 > 0:23:38I expect they'll be needing it.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41Of course, Father. The show must go on.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57How are you planning on getting into heaven
0:23:57 > 0:23:58if you're scared of heights, Father?
0:23:58 > 0:24:03I'm sincerely hoping there's an escalator. What can you see?
0:24:03 > 0:24:06They're all numbered and there's a list on the blackboard.
0:24:08 > 0:24:09Line 3, apple bucket.
0:24:11 > 0:24:15Yeah, you were right, Father. Up here it says eight.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25I wanted to ask if you recognise the name Peggy Semple?
0:24:27 > 0:24:29She always gave me milk and biscuits for the ride home.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35You made a delivery to her the night Scarlett went missing.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Not to Peggy - she's the maid. To Miss Sturgess.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47Peggy Semple is the Sturgess' maid?
0:24:47 > 0:24:52I had the wrong prescription from Dr Cornelius. She got angry.
0:24:53 > 0:24:54She hit me.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58Hey, you, wait.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00It's the wrong one.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Well, this isn't mine!
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Where's mine? Hmm?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Is it in there?
0:25:07 > 0:25:09I ain't got anything else!
0:25:09 > 0:25:13There's no need to get in a tizz. Let's get you inside,
0:25:13 > 0:25:15we can call the doctor and sort it out.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Thank you Benny. That's very helpful.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Does it mean I can go home?
0:25:37 > 0:25:39I'm working on it, son.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50Peggy left us years ago.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Got married to a drayman from Largs
0:25:52 > 0:25:54and was off without a by-your-leave.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Do you recollect her account of events on the evening that
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Scarlett Dreyfuss disappeared?
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Would you mind explaining where this is leading?
0:26:02 > 0:26:04The statement is missing, sir.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06And for one thing, it could explain
0:26:06 > 0:26:08the scratches on Benny Clough's face.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10I told you to stop flogging that dead horse.
0:26:12 > 0:26:17- With respect, that isn't your prerogative any more,- Mr- Sturgess.
0:26:18 > 0:26:19Friendly warning, boys.
0:26:21 > 0:26:25I may be retired, but one phone call from me
0:26:25 > 0:26:29and you'll both spend the rest of your careers directing traffic.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Do I make myself clear?
0:26:42 > 0:26:48# Good King Wenceslas looked out On the Feast of Stephen
0:26:48 > 0:26:53# When the snow lay 'round about Deep and crisp and even... #
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Now what, sir?
0:26:55 > 0:26:56You heard the man.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00Any more digging and we'll be on traffic duty.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02There is something you could try.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04You mean someone.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Think of it like Christmas Day on the Somme.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08The German and British football match.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10The German and British football match.
0:27:11 > 0:27:16No-man's-land. Different sides, but playing the same game.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19Then on Boxing Day, it's back to knocking seven bells
0:27:19 > 0:27:20out of each other?
0:27:20 > 0:27:21Exactly.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Lad seems barely older than our John.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Perhaps you can get on the blower to him upstairs.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39Ask for a miracle and get him home in time for Christmas.
0:27:46 > 0:27:47You only had to ask.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06Forgot my car keys.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Did no-one teach you to knock?
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Oh, you wouldn't believe the gaps in my education.
0:28:12 > 0:28:13Toodle-oo.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29I think Douglas saw someone in the woods.
0:28:29 > 0:28:31And when his memory started to return
0:28:31 > 0:28:34- they tampered with the rope numbers and... - HE SQUEALS
0:28:34 > 0:28:36- Oh, Sidney.- Sorry.
0:28:36 > 0:28:40And why did Scarlett have Rose Marie's address in her pocket?
0:28:40 > 0:28:43Which leads us back to the missing statement.
0:28:43 > 0:28:47Retired Superintendent Sturgess is starting to look fishier than
0:28:47 > 0:28:48Billingsgate.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50What is he hiding?
0:28:50 > 0:28:51I think I might hazard a guess.
0:28:57 > 0:29:00Dandini, exit stage left.
0:29:00 > 0:29:04Left! And thank you, Hernia.
0:29:07 > 0:29:11Ooh, how wonderful. Tickets for the royal ball.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14Yes, and I hear the Prince has the largest balls in all the land.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18Ooh, you are a one.
0:29:18 > 0:29:20Can we have that a bit harder?
0:29:20 > 0:29:22Ooh, you are a one.
0:29:22 > 0:29:27Right, there's going to be a change of cast. I'm Hernia. He's Vulgaria.
0:29:27 > 0:29:29If that's all right with you, Sergeant?
0:29:29 > 0:29:34Now I suggest we start from Dandidini leaving,
0:29:34 > 0:29:37giving me the tickets for the ball, yes?
0:29:37 > 0:29:39Thank you, Prudence.
0:29:39 > 0:29:41Ooh, you are a one.
0:29:41 > 0:29:43Ow!
0:29:43 > 0:29:46Do that again and I'll... I'll box your ears.
0:29:46 > 0:29:49You can't box. Can she, boys and girls?
0:29:49 > 0:29:50- ALL: Oh, yes, she can.- Et cetera.
0:29:52 > 0:29:54Then pick up from Hernia, "Show me, then."
0:29:57 > 0:29:58Show me, then.
0:30:30 > 0:30:34White heroin is my guess. You can't get that on prescription.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36And that address label was identical
0:30:36 > 0:30:38to the one found in Scarlett's cloak.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41- Benny delivered nerve powders to Scarlett.- Yes, of course.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45Care to share it?
0:30:47 > 0:30:50Benny can't read. He mixed up the prescriptions.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57Naughty Rose Marie.
0:31:00 > 0:31:02But this isn't mine.
0:31:02 > 0:31:04And Rose Marie got Scarlett's.
0:31:04 > 0:31:07Where's mine? Is it in there?
0:31:07 > 0:31:08I haven't got anything else.
0:31:10 > 0:31:15Cornelius isn't a physician. He's a Doctor of Philosophy.
0:31:15 > 0:31:18So the good doctor supplies Rose Marie with something rather
0:31:18 > 0:31:20more efficacious than nerve powders.
0:31:22 > 0:31:25The Superintendent's junkie missus in possession of illegal drugs.
0:31:25 > 0:31:27You can see why he'd want to keep that quiet.
0:31:27 > 0:31:29It's all starting to make sense.
0:31:29 > 0:31:30Scarlett found out about
0:31:30 > 0:31:32Rose Marie's dirty little secret and confronted her.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35He'd be ruined if it got out.
0:31:35 > 0:31:37That's one big motive for murder.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40Speculation, though. You can't actually prove it.
0:31:40 > 0:31:42Which means we're back to square one.
0:31:42 > 0:31:45There is a way. But we'll have to wait till daylight.
0:31:51 > 0:31:52Hello.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58Well, then, is this our man?
0:32:00 > 0:32:03Hello, old chap. You look like you've been in the wars.
0:32:06 > 0:32:08Does this look like nerve powder to you?
0:32:14 > 0:32:15This is all very cloak-and-dagger.
0:32:17 > 0:32:22The tree of truth. I thought it rather apt.
0:32:22 > 0:32:25Don't worry about another accident.
0:32:25 > 0:32:27Although why would you, seeing as you planned it?
0:32:29 > 0:32:32I've heard you fancy yourself as the local Miss Marple.
0:32:32 > 0:32:35Tell me why I would wish to harm someone
0:32:35 > 0:32:39as inoffensive as poor Douglas?
0:32:39 > 0:32:42Because he was in the woods the night Scarlett disappeared,
0:32:42 > 0:32:45and saw something he shouldn't.
0:32:45 > 0:32:47I take it you mean me. Fascinating.
0:32:49 > 0:32:52So in addition to the attempted murder of Douglas, you are also
0:32:52 > 0:32:54accusing me of Scarlett's murder?
0:32:54 > 0:32:56No. Not at all.
0:32:56 > 0:32:59I think we both know she died by her own hand.
0:32:59 > 0:33:00Pray go on.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05Benny mixed up the prescriptions.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07Rose Marie wasn't your only addict.
0:33:10 > 0:33:15I'm reliably informed that this is cocaine - intended for Scarlett.
0:33:16 > 0:33:20But instead she received something far more deadly.
0:33:20 > 0:33:23White heroin intended for Rose Marie.
0:33:24 > 0:33:25Where did you find that?
0:33:25 > 0:33:30In Benny's saddlebag. He was arrested before he could return it.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33Benny made deliveries for the whole village.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35There's nothing to connect that with me.
0:33:35 > 0:33:38And if the police questioned you, you'd just deny it.
0:33:38 > 0:33:41And sue you for slander for good measure.
0:33:43 > 0:33:46Some would argue that the right man was punished for the crime.
0:33:48 > 0:33:50An interesting perspective.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53If Benny hadn't mixed up the packages...
0:33:53 > 0:33:56Finally, someone with some sense.
0:33:56 > 0:33:57Idiot boy got what he deserved.
0:34:00 > 0:34:02Rose Marie alerted you to the switch?
0:34:03 > 0:34:08Scarlett was vapid and greedy. Wouldn't think to check what it was.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12And if she believed it to be cocaine and inhaled it -
0:34:12 > 0:34:14the results would've been fatal.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18When she didn't answer her telephone, I drove to her house.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21I knew it would be traced back to me eventually.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32It seemed expedient to dispose of the evidence.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42And that was when you saw Douglas?
0:34:48 > 0:34:52I could see he was in a fugue state and would have no recollection.
0:34:53 > 0:34:56When the simpleton confessed, it was karma.
0:34:56 > 0:34:58The gods' way of telling me I wasn't to blame.
0:35:00 > 0:35:03Easier to let an innocent go to jail.
0:35:03 > 0:35:06Feed him and keep him warm, and I doubt he knows the difference.
0:35:06 > 0:35:10A being of no function to society, whereas I...
0:35:10 > 0:35:15You are a common drug peddler.
0:35:15 > 0:35:20Condemning your victims to a long, slow death of body and soul.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23Desperate wives in gilded cages.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25I give these women a reason to live.
0:35:25 > 0:35:27You give them a reason not to live.
0:35:27 > 0:35:30Dr Cornelius,
0:35:30 > 0:35:34an admission would be the first step toward repentance and God's grace.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37Fascinating as this has been,
0:35:37 > 0:35:40my only concern is with earthly repercussion.
0:35:40 > 0:35:43And as none of it can be proved,
0:35:43 > 0:35:45at least I'll escape that.
0:35:47 > 0:35:49Oh, no, you won't.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52Behind you.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55Did you get all that, Sergeant?
0:35:55 > 0:35:57Yes, sir, I did.
0:35:57 > 0:36:00Good. Eugene Cornelius...
0:36:00 > 0:36:04"..has been charged with attempted murder, unlawful burial
0:36:04 > 0:36:07"and supply of illegal drugs."
0:36:07 > 0:36:09Oh, and Rose Marie's in front of the bench,
0:36:09 > 0:36:10which is a five-minute wonder,
0:36:10 > 0:36:13but at least she's getting treatment.
0:36:15 > 0:36:19The doctors say I should talk to him in case he can hear me.
0:36:19 > 0:36:20I hope he can.
0:36:20 > 0:36:23I don't want him to die thinking he was a murderer.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28Have you come to pray?
0:36:28 > 0:36:30Not on this occasion. No.
0:36:30 > 0:36:31Come in.
0:36:34 > 0:36:36Hello, Prudence.
0:36:43 > 0:36:46Hello, Douglas.
0:36:46 > 0:36:49Sometimes love is the most powerful prayer.
0:37:04 > 0:37:08Fairy Godmother! Has anyone seen Fairy Godmother?
0:37:08 > 0:37:11We've half an hour till curtain and...
0:37:11 > 0:37:13I call that cutting it fine.
0:37:16 > 0:37:18Oh, nonsense. Stage fright.
0:37:18 > 0:37:22Honey and lemon will do the trick.
0:37:25 > 0:37:29Disaster. We can't do Cinderella without a fairy godmother!
0:37:30 > 0:37:33Who the blazes is Bridget?
0:37:33 > 0:37:34- I am.- She is.
0:37:35 > 0:37:37I can't possibly.
0:37:39 > 0:37:41But I have nothing to wear.
0:37:58 > 0:38:00BANG THEY GASP
0:38:00 > 0:38:05Welcome, good folk one and all.
0:38:05 > 0:38:07Let me be your guiding hand,
0:38:07 > 0:38:11and lead you through this magic land.
0:38:20 > 0:38:22Phew, sis, that was close!
0:38:22 > 0:38:25AUDIENCE: It's behind you!
0:38:25 > 0:38:27It's what, sorry?
0:38:30 > 0:38:31Aargh!
0:38:36 > 0:38:39Ow! You do that again and I'll box your ears.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42You can't box. Can she, boys and girls?
0:38:42 > 0:38:43ALL: Oh, yes, she can!
0:38:43 > 0:38:45Oh, no, she can't.
0:38:45 > 0:38:47ALL: Oh, yes, she can!
0:38:47 > 0:38:48Oh, no, she can't.
0:38:48 > 0:38:50ALL: Oh, yes, she can!
0:38:50 > 0:38:52Right, come on, show me, then.
0:39:01 > 0:39:03You said go left, you always go left!
0:39:10 > 0:39:12Mice medley, go! That's it.
0:39:12 > 0:39:14Right to the other side of the stage.
0:39:23 > 0:39:26Good news. Benny's being released - he'll be home tomorrow.
0:39:26 > 0:39:29On Christmas Eve. How mirac...
0:39:30 > 0:39:33Back on your feet, Hernia! You've got the ballroom!
0:39:33 > 0:39:36- Not in this corset, I haven't. - Come on, sir, up you get.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39Laryngitis? I suppose you felt sorry for me.
0:39:40 > 0:39:42Well, I do not need your pity.
0:39:43 > 0:39:45Oh, typical. It's all about you.
0:39:45 > 0:39:49Well, you knew that I was worse than Pontius Pilate,
0:39:49 > 0:39:51but you would have let me go out there
0:39:51 > 0:39:53to the ruin of my reputation!
0:39:53 > 0:39:57Yes. I mean, no. you were making a great improvement.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59Fairy Godmother! Transformation scene!
0:39:59 > 0:40:02Ask yourself this - what would my aunt say?
0:40:02 > 0:40:04Chop, chop, Barbara!
0:40:10 > 0:40:11Nice work, Penelope.
0:40:14 > 0:40:18Cinderella. You shall go to the ball.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29Let me fit my foot in the crystal slipper.
0:40:29 > 0:40:32You couldn't fit your foot in Crystal Palace!
0:40:34 > 0:40:37My gift to you of joy and laughter,
0:40:37 > 0:40:40as you live happily ever after.
0:41:23 > 0:41:24Mum?
0:41:41 > 0:41:44Oh, it's so good to have you home!
0:41:51 > 0:41:53I'm sorry I lied.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58It just wasn't Christmas on my own.
0:41:58 > 0:42:02But next year, I promise we'll make it the best one ever.
0:42:04 > 0:42:06Yeah, next year. The best one ever!
0:42:16 > 0:42:18Merry Christmas, Mrs Clough.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20Do you mind moving aside? This thing's damn heavy.
0:42:20 > 0:42:22Merry Christmas!
0:42:22 > 0:42:25We thought you could do with a transfusion of Christmas cheer.
0:42:25 > 0:42:28One turkey, fully prepared.
0:42:28 > 0:42:30So all you have to do is pop it in the oven tomorrow.
0:42:30 > 0:42:32Merry Christmas!
0:42:32 > 0:42:33Merry Christmas!
0:42:42 > 0:42:48# Ding dong merrily on high In heav'n the bells are ringing
0:42:48 > 0:42:54# Ding dong verily the sky Is riv'n with angel singing. #
0:42:55 > 0:42:57Merry Christmas, everyone!
0:42:57 > 0:42:59ALL: Merry Christmas!
0:43:03 > 0:43:06# Gloria Hosanna in excelsis!
0:43:06 > 0:43:11# Pray you, dutifully prime Your matin chime, ye ringers. #