0:00:39 > 0:00:42I'm wondering where the hell you are and what possible reason you
0:00:42 > 0:00:45would have conjured up not to visit your son and why...
0:00:45 > 0:00:47- You'll post these, yeah? - Yeah, course.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49First class.
0:00:51 > 0:00:55- "The time to cast away is yet far off."- Tennyson.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58It's bad enough that his parents are refusing to come in and see him
0:00:58 > 0:01:01but we are the only support network that that kid has got.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02I really, really like you.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04But?
0:01:04 > 0:01:06But I like being your friend.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08You're brilliant.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34Oi! Dr Wilde! Fancy a spin around the car park?
0:01:35 > 0:01:36Ohhhh...
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Arthur!
0:01:40 > 0:01:41Sorry, mate! You OK?
0:01:41 > 0:01:44- Yeah, I'm fine.- Well, you could at least get out of the car!
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Stop overreacting. Digby's a man of steel.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Aren't you, mate?
0:01:48 > 0:01:49Look, don't move, OK?
0:01:49 > 0:01:51See? Now get in.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53He's just some lowly peasant to you, isn't he?
0:01:53 > 0:01:57She called you a peasant, Digby! I think that deserves an apology.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00You could've killed him! Least you can do is come out and check him over.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Love to. But I hate being late.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Don't spend too long playing Florence Nightingale.
0:02:05 > 0:02:06Ms Campbell's on this morning!
0:02:13 > 0:02:16All right? Got both bags. Ticket and passport.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18You are ready to go.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Haven't had a 99 or fed the ducks.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Well, you could feed them every day
0:02:22 > 0:02:24if you're serious about wanting to move back here.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26I am. I told you.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29OK, I'll talk to your mum.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30What if she says no?
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Well, she is just going to have to deal with the fact that
0:02:33 > 0:02:36despite her frequent rants to the contrary
0:02:36 > 0:02:39I am so great that you want to live with me. Right?
0:02:39 > 0:02:40Call her. Now!
0:02:40 > 0:02:42And wake her up? Are you crazy?
0:02:42 > 0:02:44- She never was a morning person. - Still isn't.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48Whereas my smile fills you with joy over the breakfast table.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51- Yeah, right. - I'll tell her today. I promise.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I'm starving.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56All right, well how about a giant doughnut with sprinkles on top?
0:02:56 > 0:02:59And hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream.
0:02:59 > 0:03:00And a chocolate spoon.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Chocolate spoon? Seriously?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Please. It's my last chance.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08Mum never lets me have stuff like that any more. Brad's a vegan.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Of course he is.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Wow. You must know every chip in that toilet bowl by now.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Jac, thought you were off today.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18So did I. Valentine called in sick again.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Right, I'd better give him a call.
0:03:22 > 0:03:27"Thanks for coming in, Jac, putting yourself out for the team." I'm the one who needs sympathy here!
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Cut him some slack. He doesn't know about Rosemary's Baby.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Makes no difference. He's only got eyes for his tragic lost protege.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Even when he doesn't deserve it.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38There was a major screw-up on the night shift last week.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41And it was all down to Ollie, but he made Gemma take the bullet.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Well, that's low. Even for him.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47If Valentine's intent on hitting rock bottom, nothing the Prof can do about it.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- Isn't going to stop him trying, is it?- I don't know, I think he just needs something to
0:03:50 > 0:03:52take his mind off it.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Managed to track down those truffles you were talking about.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Cost an absolute...fortune.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02That's very kind of you, Dr Tressler.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05But an apple would have sufficed. Shall we?
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Ms Campbell's been called to St James's.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10I hope you're not too disappointed.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Yes, OK.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17Well can you just tell Rachel I'll be there as soon as I can.
0:04:17 > 0:04:18Thank you.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21Mr Hanssen.
0:04:21 > 0:04:22You wanted me to look at a patient?
0:04:22 > 0:04:26Did I? Yes, yes.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28My head's all over the place this morning.
0:04:28 > 0:04:34Mr Falco, abdominal pain, flu-like symptoms, recent weight loss,
0:04:34 > 0:04:38diarrhoea and painful open ulcer in the mouth.
0:04:39 > 0:04:40Crohn's, I wonder.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Oh, yes, Crohn's. Yes, of course.
0:04:44 > 0:04:45PHONE RINGS
0:04:49 > 0:04:53Sorry, it's Rachel. She had a rough night.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54Then you must go to her.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Take all the time you need.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00Thank you.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02I reckon we're going to have to amputate.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Ha-ha, very funny. - Sort that out yourself, I've got to go.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08- I can dress that for you. - Thanks, Chantelle. See you later!
0:05:08 > 0:05:09Actually. It's fine.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11- No, I don't mind. Don't be daft. - No, it's fine.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16As soon as I get back, I'm having a tattoo
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- I may be cool, I'm not a pushover. - You let Seb have one.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21- That's different. - You said Seb's...
0:05:21 > 0:05:22Seb this, Seb that.
0:05:22 > 0:05:23You got a crush on him?
0:05:23 > 0:05:24Dad! He's 17!
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Yeah, he's practically an old man.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Chantelle, tell him. Boys and girls can just be friends. Not like the old days.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Sometimes. Not always, though.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Actually, Jas, I need to speak to your dad.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- Is it Seb? - Wait for me in my office.- But...
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll come get you in a minute.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Ah, Amy Cardle.
0:05:45 > 0:05:46You know her?
0:05:46 > 0:05:50I treated her husband, James. Lovely man, a real fighter.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Survived first heart attack but not the second.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54No wonder she's anxious.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57They were very close. No children.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00She must be feeling very vulnerable.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Amy, so good to see you. Hello.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Elliot, thank God.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Now you'll tell me the truth.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11- Fire away.- I'm not sure I need this valve repair,
0:06:11 > 0:06:13whatever you call it.
0:06:13 > 0:06:14I'm afraid you do.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18The medication that you're on is no longer managing your condition.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20But I feel fine now. Really.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22It's a very straightforward procedure.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26The thing is, it doesn't seem straightforward, not to me.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Sorry to interrupt, got a quick question for you when you're done.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Yes, yes. Five minutes.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39I find it very difficult to think clearly since James...
0:06:41 > 0:06:45Amy, you've been through a tough time,
0:06:45 > 0:06:49but this operation could be completely transforming.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51You'll be able to travel,
0:06:51 > 0:06:54be more active, spontaneous. It'll be like a new beginning.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59He's in and out of consciousness, BP's erratic,
0:06:59 > 0:07:01he's very weak and tired.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03The night nurse was really worried,
0:07:03 > 0:07:05said he hadn't been himself at all.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08OK, let's run fresh bloods, creatinine and tox screens.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10We'll take a view once we get the results.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Excuse me, Nurse Lane.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Nurse Lane? Are you fighting?
0:07:18 > 0:07:21No, it's trivial.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Seb said the pain's getting worse.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30Take him off the PCA and set up a syringe driver.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31Call his parents.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Mr Hanssen? Have you got a minute?
0:07:46 > 0:07:49It's not just his mouth that's ulcerated,
0:07:49 > 0:07:53and he's complaining of chest and joint pain that doesn't fit with Crohn's.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Isn't this the guy who had surgery in Laos?
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Abscess following an insect bite, I believe.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Then it could be melioidosis. It's endemic in parts of South East Asia.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10The incubation period's around 1-21 days.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12And he's been back 11 days.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15I saw a really similar case during my training.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18We'd need a specialist review to confirm, but I'm 90% certain.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22And we can't take any chances. Untreated, this could kill him.
0:08:23 > 0:08:24Impressive work, Dr Tressler.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30You're late, Dr Wilde.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34I was looking for Ms Campbell.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Statistics show that the absence of even one clinician
0:08:37 > 0:08:39can seriously effect patient outcome.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43Especially on an acute wards such as this. Tropical diseases, please.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45You owe Dr Tressler an apology.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Won't happen again, Mr Hanssen.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51No, it won't.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Ms Campbell told me about your chest drain debacle last week.
0:08:54 > 0:08:55You're already on very thin ice.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Where's my apology then?
0:08:59 > 0:09:00Get lost!
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Hey.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Hey. Heard you had a hard night.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12How's the pain? We're trying something different.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Yeah, bit better.
0:09:14 > 0:09:15It might not last.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Thank you for that helpful insight, Dr Digby.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21- Well, all the studies show... - Can I see you outside? Now.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Dr Digby is going to escort you back to my office.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31And I want you to stay there until I say so.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- I am not a baby-sitter. - Yeah, maybe not,
0:09:33 > 0:09:37but your reassuring bedside manner is not what our patient needs right now.
0:09:37 > 0:09:38Can't I just say hello?
0:09:38 > 0:09:41If you want to be a good friend to him, you'll let him rest.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43OK? Come on.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Sorry about that. Jasmine just wanted to say hi.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54That's cool. Maybe later.
0:09:59 > 0:10:00I'll give you a hand.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02Thanks.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Any idea when your parents are planning on coming in?
0:10:09 > 0:10:13Thursdays are usually quite busy. Maybe tomorrow.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Right.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Anything else I can help you with?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- Pass me those. - Yeah.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25I have to write my will.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26Really?
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Joking. Come on. Everyone needs to lighten up here.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31All right, I'll catch you later.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38It was definitely a look, I'm telling you.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Seen it before. He likes her.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Enter Romeo stage right.
0:10:43 > 0:10:48Sorry about that. What can I do for you?
0:10:48 > 0:10:51It's more what I can do for you.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55A friend of mine's just offered me two tickets for Rigoletto,
0:10:55 > 0:10:57but it's tonight.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58They'll be great seats.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01You don't have to convince me. I'd love to come.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Great.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- PAGER BEEPS - Sorry. I have to get this.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09- Sure. We can arrange the timing later.- Great.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15No. Please. Please just sit. Sit!
0:11:19 > 0:11:20And stay.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22I'm not a dog.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25You look a bit like Blaine from Glee, but nerdier.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29I have no idea what you're talking about.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30Glee, you know, the TV show.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33I don't own a television set.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Oh, my God. You are seriously weird.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Test results are back. I can't find Mr Spence.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46No. No funny business. Stay.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47Woof, woof.
0:11:50 > 0:11:57Arthur, can't we just sort this? Please? We're such good friends.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Seb's creatinine and potassium levels are up
0:12:01 > 0:12:05but his urine output is down so his kidneys may be compromised.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08He's going into renal failure. When are his parents getting here?
0:12:08 > 0:12:10There was no answer, I left a message.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Try again. Home. Mobile. Carrier pigeon if you have to.
0:12:13 > 0:12:14But get them here. Fast.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Brendan Dorsey. 71 years old.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Suffered a spinal cord injury eight years ago.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Problems with muscle pain since the accident.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24- Admitted today with severe pressure ulcers.- I'll take that.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Sorry.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29In Mr Levy's absence, Dr Tressler's dealing with all admissions.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31- Says who? - Mr Hanssen.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34He's been called to Keller but he made himself pretty clear.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35You been a naughty girl?
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Bed 4 please, Mary-Claire.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Dr Wilde, clerk that patient.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Start suppositories for the rectal impaction in bed 6.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Oh, I need you to pick up some blood results.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46That's a porter's job.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Well, you could do with the exercise. And I'm the boss.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Shall I shine your shoes for you as well?
0:12:51 > 0:12:52Oh, yeah, that'd be great.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56Oh, and get me a cheese and pastrami on rye. Extra salad.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58No mayonnaise. Thanks.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03I finally got hold of Seb's mum.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Good. She's on her way?
0:13:05 > 0:13:06Not immediately.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10What does that mean?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Her husband's working away.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14It's going to take him hours to get back.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19Er, what is the problem? She gets in the car
0:13:19 > 0:13:20and she meets him here.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24But she needs to sort the other kids out before she can leave.
0:13:24 > 0:13:25She said she'd try her best.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Oh, well, if she's trying her best, that's great.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Her son is dying but she's trying her best!
0:13:31 > 0:13:32Mr Spence.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43Part of your job as clinical lead is to maintain a professional
0:13:43 > 0:13:44distance at all times.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47I don't care any more. I've had it with this family!
0:13:47 > 0:13:49I'm sure they're dealing with it the best way they can.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51No need to get emotionally involved.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53I'm finding it hard to keep my distance
0:13:53 > 0:13:55when there is a 17-year-old boy dying alone
0:13:55 > 0:13:57in pain without his family.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58Maybe not for an ice man like you.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Maybe it's just another day at the office!
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Sorry.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12How did it get this bad? You must have help.
0:14:13 > 0:14:18I did have a carer - Woytek, Polish fella.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20He was OK, actually.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Turned up one day totally bladdered.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26I let him sleep it off
0:14:26 > 0:14:29but then social services found him
0:14:29 > 0:14:32spark out on my settee stinking of booze.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34That was the end of him.
0:14:34 > 0:14:35They didn't replace him?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38They tried to. Sent this miserable old bat,
0:14:38 > 0:14:41face like a bucket of smashed crabs,
0:14:41 > 0:14:44but when she called me "dearie", that was it.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48What happened, if you don't mind me asking?
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Bit of argy-bargy with an articulated lorry.
0:14:51 > 0:14:52Car crash?
0:14:52 > 0:14:58Motorcycle. 1000cc, big beast of a machine. Red and chrome.
0:14:58 > 0:15:02I'm sorry but also kind of impressed.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Didn't have me down as a biker, did you?
0:15:05 > 0:15:07That stings.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11That was my mantra when I was younger.
0:15:11 > 0:15:16A couple of pints and I was the kinda guy who was up for anything
0:15:16 > 0:15:18just for the hell of it.
0:15:24 > 0:15:25It was James's.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32My grandfather had one very similar.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34James inherited it from his father.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35It's beautiful.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Keeps him close when I need him.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42I know how hard it is at first.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46I lost my wife.
0:15:48 > 0:15:49I didn't know.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53It's the little things I find so hard.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58The empty chair at the breakfast table,
0:15:58 > 0:16:00paperwork I know nothing about,
0:16:00 > 0:16:06anything to do with the car. Oh, Elliot, I must confess...
0:16:07 > 0:16:09..it's all a little overwhelming.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Blood results.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20Thanks, Germa.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Don't. I mean it.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26You have all the charm of a bacterial infection.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30And you're a virus. Lacking the key characteristics considered necessary to count as life.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33That's no way to speak to a senior colleague.
0:16:33 > 0:16:34I demand some respect.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Dream on.
0:16:36 > 0:16:37Gemma, I'm kidding.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46That a cornflake? Don't you ever look in the mirror?
0:16:46 > 0:16:49- I actually thought you were going to apologise then.- For what?
0:16:49 > 0:16:52For being an arrogant, infantile megalomaniac.
0:16:54 > 0:16:55Such harsh words, Dr Wilde.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Why can't you ever be straight with me?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01Even when we kissed next minute it was like it never happened.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Thanks, Dad.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08Five minutes, OK?
0:17:15 > 0:17:16Hey.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Hey.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23How are you feeling?
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Wish people would stop asking me that.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27Sorry. Can I see?
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Wow.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38That's me. The wounded hero.
0:17:38 > 0:17:39And who are they?
0:17:41 > 0:17:42That's my family.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Why are they never here?
0:17:47 > 0:17:48I'd be so angry.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51How's getting angry going to help?
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Because you shouldn't be here on your own.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55They should want to be here.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59They've got their own lives to lead. And I'm cool with that,
0:17:59 > 0:18:03cos when they see me it just makes it worse...
0:18:05 > 0:18:06..for me and them.
0:18:06 > 0:18:12I see how much it hurts, especially Mum...
0:18:14 > 0:18:15..and I can't handle it.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19In here I'm the same as everyone else,
0:18:19 > 0:18:21not some cancer boy freak show.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24But it's not like you've just broken a leg. You're...
0:18:24 > 0:18:26I'm dying.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27Don't.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30It's OK, Jas. I'm not scared.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35When I was little,
0:18:35 > 0:18:39my mum gave me a book - King Arthur's Path To Avalon,
0:18:39 > 0:18:43the real King Arthur. The warrior.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45I used to live it out in my head.
0:18:48 > 0:18:53When he gets fatally wounded. He sails over the sea to Avalon
0:18:53 > 0:18:57where his wounds are healed and he waits to come again.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04I have to finish, I have to draw Avalon.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12I can't remember what it looks like. You have to help me.
0:19:12 > 0:19:13BEEPING
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Wait, I'll go and get my dad.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Do you have to drink coffee?
0:19:26 > 0:19:28I thought you loved coffee.
0:19:28 > 0:19:29Not any more, OK?
0:19:29 > 0:19:31OK, keep your wig on.
0:19:31 > 0:19:32Problem?
0:19:32 > 0:19:35No. No. Everything's OK.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37And you? Looking forward to your date?
0:19:37 > 0:19:38It's not a date.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43What?!
0:19:45 > 0:19:49All right, we need to clear his airway or he's going to suffocate. Suction.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52OK, Seb. We're going to insert a tube to help you breathe.
0:19:55 > 0:19:56Sats falling.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Stabilising.
0:20:08 > 0:20:09Sats 90.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15All right, good job, everyone.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23- Mr Channing's mother is on her way. - Finally!
0:20:23 > 0:20:27But she will be at least another hour, though, I believe.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Seb is in early stages of multiple organ failure.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31One more set back and he's finished.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Then we must try to keep him stable until she arrives.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39I'm going to do my job as it should be done, but I tell you one thing -
0:20:39 > 0:20:41I will not let him suffer one minute longer
0:20:41 > 0:20:44than he should just for her convenience.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Everything OK?
0:20:51 > 0:20:55Sorry, Doc, nothing seems to work any more.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56It's OK, no harm done.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03We're going to have to take you into theatre, I'm afraid,
0:21:03 > 0:21:05surgically remove the infected tissue.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08It should make you more comfortable.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11I can handle that. It's these muscle spasms that are killing me.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20You get all this attention when it first happens,
0:21:20 > 0:21:23but people have their own lives to live
0:21:23 > 0:21:27and just you're left to take care of yourself.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30These sores are as a result of neglect.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33When I can manage the pain I can see a way forward
0:21:33 > 0:21:36but when the pain takes over...
0:21:37 > 0:21:43So next time you put your foot on the accelerator to impress some girl,
0:21:43 > 0:21:50or to get somewhere five minutes earlier, think about me.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Seb's very nauseous, severe headache.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Hey, Annalese, I can't talk right now, I've got a crisis here.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Yeah, I know I rang you.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04She's around here somewhere.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Look, I'll give you a call later, all right?
0:22:08 > 0:22:11- Where's Jas?- So now your daughter's missing in a busy city hospital.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12Not now, Hanssen.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Seb's starting to panic. He's asking for his dad.
0:22:15 > 0:22:16I don't know what to say.
0:22:16 > 0:22:17It's OK, I'll handle it.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Professional please, Mr Spence.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Right now Seb needs a doctor and his parents.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Now, if you had any children you'd understand that.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Bad idea. Bread equals bloating.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40And excess gas is the last thing you need on your first date.
0:22:40 > 0:22:41It's not a date.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Take it from a man who knows.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45She definitely had that look in her eyes.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Definitely. Surely you've noticed.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Dr Kozinsky had a spare ticket, that's all.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51She probably made that up to get your attention.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54- We need to talk ground rules. - What you're going to wear.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57- Who pays for dinner - always tricky. - We're not having dinner!
0:22:57 > 0:22:59You are. I've booked it. Don't let me down.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Buy a decent bottle of wine and flash the plastic. No arguments.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06Mo's right, going Dutch is never very sexy.
0:23:06 > 0:23:11- Sexy?!- Speaking of which, your Y-fronts are 50 shades of grey and not in a good way.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15- I'll buy you a new pair in my break. - You'll do nothing of the sort! Now if you'll excuse me.
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Dr Tressler?
0:23:30 > 0:23:33Sorry to drag you away from your dish of the day,
0:23:33 > 0:23:34but Mr Dorsey is no better.
0:23:34 > 0:23:39Yeah, I know. We're going to have to up his morphine pre-surgery.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41You can set up a central line.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Yeah, I've never done that.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47- First time for everything. You'll be fine.- Are you trying to get me into more trouble with Mr Hanssen?
0:23:47 > 0:23:49How evil do you think I am?
0:23:49 > 0:23:50You'd be surprised.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Come on.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Just the man!
0:24:02 > 0:24:05I thought we could grab a bite to eat after the show.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07There's a lovely little Italian.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Sharon, I'm really sorry... No.
0:24:09 > 0:24:14I've re-checked my schedule and I've got a complicated valve repair.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17Mrs Cardle, you know, the women you saw me with earlier.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20So not a good day, I'm afraid.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Another time.
0:24:21 > 0:24:22Yes, yes.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Now, if you'll excuse me, duty calls.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35There you are. It's Mrs Cardle.
0:24:35 > 0:24:36She was fine earlier.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37I went to prep her for surgery,
0:24:37 > 0:24:39she told me not to bother.
0:24:41 > 0:24:45It's OK, Seb. All right, we're doing everything we can.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47You just hang in there.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50BP's rising. Is he going back into VF?
0:24:50 > 0:24:52No, he's bradycardic and hypertensive.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54It's Cushing's Response.
0:24:54 > 0:24:55Emergency head CT?
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Can't do this...
0:25:00 > 0:25:01Chantelle...
0:25:03 > 0:25:06If by some miracle his mother is anywhere in this building
0:25:06 > 0:25:08find her and tell her to come here!
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Pulse is slowing.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17- Scared... - It's OK, Seb, I'm right here.
0:25:17 > 0:25:18Right here.
0:25:18 > 0:25:19BEEPING
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Dad?
0:25:25 > 0:25:26Yeah.
0:25:27 > 0:25:28My head...
0:25:34 > 0:25:38It's OK, you don't have to be strong any more.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43I can't see... What's happening?
0:25:43 > 0:25:45It's OK, it's OK. I've got you.
0:25:50 > 0:25:51I'm floating...
0:25:55 > 0:25:56Am I on the sea now?
0:26:07 > 0:26:08Yeah...
0:26:08 > 0:26:11you're on the sea.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28I am not trying to be difficult.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30I just don't understand.
0:26:30 > 0:26:31This is preventative surgery, right?
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Which in your case is absolutely necessary.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Yes, I know.
0:26:36 > 0:26:37So why are you leaving?
0:26:37 > 0:26:42I just started to think what's the point?
0:26:42 > 0:26:46Without it you will succumb to heart failure in a very short space of time.
0:26:46 > 0:26:51I do understand that, strange as it might sound.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53I don't want to travel or be spontaneous
0:26:53 > 0:26:58or have a new beginning. I just want my old life back.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00And if I can't have that...
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Sorry for wasting your time.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Amy, please, before you make a final decision
0:27:07 > 0:27:09there's someone I'd like you to talk to.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Mr Channing's mother has arrived.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17It's too late. He's dead.
0:27:17 > 0:27:18She'll be happy now.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21No more annoying hospital visits to disrupt her busy schedule.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23This is not about you and how you feel.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Mrs Channing has just lost her son and it's up to you to tell her.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28I hope I can trust you to retain your composure, please.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Mrs Channing? My name's Michael Spence.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36- I'm Seb's consultant. - I know who you are.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41And I know what you're going to tell me.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45Sorry, it took ages had to try three shops before...
0:27:48 > 0:27:50Seb?
0:28:02 > 0:28:05It's OK, Mr Dorsey, won't be a minute.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07- OK. - Try again.
0:28:12 > 0:28:16Stop. That's not the right angle. You need to focus.
0:28:16 > 0:28:18I told you I couldn't do this.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20You can. You're just not listening to me.
0:28:20 > 0:28:24- Maybe you're a rubbish teacher! - Why do you have to be so negative, Gemma?
0:28:24 > 0:28:28- Puts people's backs up. - Whereas you just blind everyone with your nauseating charm.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30I hate to interrupt your little love fest, but
0:28:30 > 0:28:34could someone please just stick that needle in my neck and get this over with?
0:28:34 > 0:28:37Here, give it to me. And I'll need a new catheter.
0:28:40 > 0:28:41I can manage that at least.
0:28:43 > 0:28:44There's none left.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47Go easy on her, son,
0:28:47 > 0:28:49we all get a bit twitchy at times
0:28:49 > 0:28:52and she seems like a lovely girl.
0:28:52 > 0:28:55Disordered thoughts with delusions. Side effect of morphine.
0:28:55 > 0:29:00She's just lost her confidence. Happens to the best of us.
0:29:00 > 0:29:02Go on. Be nice.
0:29:02 > 0:29:04Give her one more chance.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09Is there anything else you'd like to know?
0:29:09 > 0:29:11- No.- Would you like me to come in with you?
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Oh, no.
0:29:34 > 0:29:36Oh, God, no.
0:29:36 > 0:29:38My boy.
0:29:44 > 0:29:47Give the woman an Oscar.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51SHE SOBS
0:29:51 > 0:29:53I've managed to persuade Mrs Cardle to stay
0:29:53 > 0:29:55until Sharon is able to have a word with her.
0:29:55 > 0:29:56Look on the bright side,
0:29:56 > 0:29:59if she cancels surgery, you'll have loads of time to
0:29:59 > 0:30:00prepare for your date.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05You've chickened out.
0:30:05 > 0:30:06Prof?
0:30:06 > 0:30:08There's someone you wanted me to see?
0:30:08 > 0:30:10Mrs Cardle, my valve repair,
0:30:10 > 0:30:15recently bereaved, now refusing surgery,
0:30:15 > 0:30:20it's like she's given up hope of any kind of positive future.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22Obviously I want to try and persuade her to make her slot,
0:30:22 > 0:30:24but there's patient I need to check on first.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26How long have I got?
0:30:26 > 0:30:28She's booked into theatre for two o'clock.
0:30:29 > 0:30:33That's a lengthy procedure, to prevent you going to the opera?
0:30:33 > 0:30:36Not at all. We're usually done and dusted in under an hour.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42Professor Hope, maybe you could walk me to the lift.
0:30:49 > 0:30:54It was an evening out, not a proposal of marriage.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57If you didn't want to come, you should've just said so.
0:30:57 > 0:31:00I'm a big girl, Elliot. I don't need lame excuses.
0:31:04 > 0:31:08Mr Spence. I feel awful but,
0:31:08 > 0:31:12I need to start thinking about last offices,
0:31:12 > 0:31:14I usually like to talk to the family first,
0:31:14 > 0:31:20but his mum still seems so upset. Should I go in?
0:31:20 > 0:31:21No. I will.
0:31:26 > 0:31:28Mrs Channing, is everything OK?
0:31:31 > 0:31:32I don't understand.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38How the hell did he get that?
0:31:38 > 0:31:40Now wait a minute.
0:31:40 > 0:31:45Who did this to you, my beautiful, beautiful boy?
0:31:45 > 0:31:47How dare you let this happen?
0:31:47 > 0:31:49You were supposed to be taking care of him!
0:31:49 > 0:31:52Well, that is exactly what I have been doing!
0:31:52 > 0:31:54That tattoo was his dying wish.
0:31:54 > 0:31:55You needed our permission.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59Well, there wasn't anyone to ask.
0:32:00 > 0:32:03Now, I was the one who held him when he was dying.
0:32:03 > 0:32:05I was the one who told him that he was OK,
0:32:05 > 0:32:09so do not speak to me about not looking after him!
0:32:20 > 0:32:24Dr Tressler informs me you performed a textbook central line placement.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27And she did an excellent job assisting me in theatre.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29Then it's down to your expert supervision.
0:32:32 > 0:32:33Thanks...
0:32:33 > 0:32:35for the shout out.
0:32:35 > 0:32:36I meant it.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58Maybe you would like to.
0:33:22 > 0:33:23I can't do it.
0:33:24 > 0:33:29Mr Hanssen has expressed concern over your boundaries with this patient.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32His parents left me no choice because no-one should die alone.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35I'm not saying that I approve of her position,
0:33:35 > 0:33:36or that what she did was right...
0:33:36 > 0:33:38Oh, great, I'm glad we agree on something.
0:33:38 > 0:33:41But for some parents, when they know their child is going to die,
0:33:41 > 0:33:44they begin to withdraw, it's called "retreating".
0:33:44 > 0:33:45And that's OK?
0:33:45 > 0:33:50Of course not. It's never in a child's interest to be abandoned,
0:33:50 > 0:33:51particularly when they're so vulnerable,
0:33:51 > 0:33:53but you know nothing about these people,
0:33:53 > 0:33:55what brought them to this point.
0:33:55 > 0:33:57I know that a good parent protects
0:33:57 > 0:34:00and supports their kid no matter what,
0:34:00 > 0:34:03but these people are only interested in protecting themselves.
0:34:06 > 0:34:10Sorry to interrupt, I just was looking for Mrs Channing
0:34:10 > 0:34:13in the ladies, and I found Jas,
0:34:13 > 0:34:15locked in a cubicle, crying.
0:34:18 > 0:34:19But the surgery went well.
0:34:19 > 0:34:21It's not that, it's the muscle spasms,
0:34:21 > 0:34:23poor guy's in pure agony.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25HE PANTS
0:34:28 > 0:34:30You go. I'd better get Mr Hanssen, I think.
0:34:30 > 0:34:34Wait, I need to speak to you, alone.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40Brendan, I can't up your morphine any higher.
0:34:40 > 0:34:43Doesn't touch this anyway.
0:34:43 > 0:34:45But I know something that will.
0:34:49 > 0:34:53I'm sorry, Jas, none of that should have happened.
0:34:53 > 0:34:54I said I'd help him.
0:34:54 > 0:34:57Hey, none of this is your fault, it's mine.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01He needed me, and I wasn't there.
0:35:01 > 0:35:03Come on out, Jas, please.
0:35:16 > 0:35:19Where'd you disappear to?
0:35:19 > 0:35:21To get this.
0:35:21 > 0:35:22He was trying to draw this.
0:35:22 > 0:35:26In his head that's where he was going when he died.
0:35:26 > 0:35:29He couldn't remember the picture, so I went to get the book,
0:35:29 > 0:35:32but I was too late.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35Hey, you listen to me,
0:35:35 > 0:35:38you made his last few weeks so much happier.
0:35:38 > 0:35:42You don't blame yourself for any of this. You leave that to his parents.
0:35:42 > 0:35:45But Seb was OK with that. I thought he'd hate them but he didn't.
0:35:47 > 0:35:52It was like he'd already let them go. And if that's what he wanted...
0:36:02 > 0:36:04Come in.
0:36:04 > 0:36:06Good to see you and Dr Wilde working as a team.
0:36:06 > 0:36:08You're obviously a good influence.
0:36:08 > 0:36:11- Mr Hanssen... - Plastics are ready for Mr Dorsey.
0:36:11 > 0:36:13You can prepare him for transfer, please.
0:36:13 > 0:36:17- But his pain levels are off the scale.- Plastics will re-assess him.
0:36:17 > 0:36:18Mr Dorsey knows what he needs.
0:36:18 > 0:36:22Over time opioids have become ineffective for his neuropathic pain.
0:36:22 > 0:36:24One can always find a therapeutic dose.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27Ever since his accident, he's developed such a high
0:36:27 > 0:36:30tolerance that any effective dose simply renders him unconscious.
0:36:30 > 0:36:33- Cannabinoids on the other hand... - Cannabis?
0:36:33 > 0:36:36Are you seriously suggesting we allow him
0:36:36 > 0:36:38to smoke an illegal Class B drug on the ward?
0:36:38 > 0:36:39No, of course not,
0:36:39 > 0:36:43but there is one cannabis based medicine licensed by NICE.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45It's a mouth spray that's proved extremely
0:36:45 > 0:36:47effective in the treatment of spasticity.
0:36:47 > 0:36:51Indeed. But it's only licensed for the treatment of multiple sclerosis.
0:36:51 > 0:36:53But his symptoms are exactly the same.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56No, I cannot endorse the prescription of medication
0:36:56 > 0:36:58unlicensed for purpose.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01The answer is emphatically no.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04He's in absolute agony, cannabis is the only thing that works for him.
0:37:04 > 0:37:08- I wouldn't be surprised if he discharged himself. - That's his decision.
0:37:08 > 0:37:11Mr Hanssen, I can't believe there isn't some way round this.
0:37:11 > 0:37:14We have no choice but to work within the parameters of the law.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17I think we should let the pain specialists do their job.
0:37:23 > 0:37:27Next week would've been our 40th wedding anniversary.
0:37:28 > 0:37:34James spent months planning it. We were going to Corsica.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36You should never wait for anything.
0:37:36 > 0:37:39Then why are you refusing this treatment?
0:37:41 > 0:37:46If you get the surgery done now you could re-arrange your trip, go with a friend.
0:37:46 > 0:37:50But why would I want to? That's the wall I keep coming up against.
0:37:50 > 0:37:54Everything seems so pointless without him.
0:37:54 > 0:37:58Why don't you try something simple like going to the
0:37:58 > 0:38:01movies by yourself,
0:38:01 > 0:38:04just put your toe in the water and see how it feels.
0:38:04 > 0:38:05It might feel OK.
0:38:05 > 0:38:09Or it might just feel empty and terrifying.
0:38:09 > 0:38:14All of us have an innate fear of what's unfamiliar,
0:38:14 > 0:38:19but you won't know if you don't try.
0:38:19 > 0:38:22Chantelle. Is Mrs Channing in there?
0:38:22 > 0:38:25She's waiting for her husband downstairs.
0:38:25 > 0:38:27Would you keep Jas company for a while?
0:38:27 > 0:38:29- Of course. - Back in a minute.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35What are you up to?
0:38:35 > 0:38:36Nothing.
0:38:36 > 0:38:40Oh, I get it, you want to handle the transfer all by yourself,
0:38:40 > 0:38:43get the old school tie out, charm the bigwigs in plastics.
0:38:43 > 0:38:45Even I'm not that shallow.
0:38:45 > 0:38:48What then? One minute you're all over me, telling Hanssen how amazing I am,
0:38:48 > 0:38:50the next it's like I don't exist!
0:38:50 > 0:38:52Can you run that through please?
0:38:52 > 0:38:56I was trying to protect you, but if you really want to get involved, give me your lighter.
0:38:56 > 0:38:57What for?
0:38:57 > 0:38:59We're taking Mr Dorsey for a smoke.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02Weed. It's the only thing that touches his pain.
0:39:02 > 0:39:03You are actually insane.
0:39:03 > 0:39:06He's got his own stash. Grows it in his greenhouse.
0:39:06 > 0:39:09Look Hanssen's refusing to give him officially licensed medical cannabis.
0:39:09 > 0:39:12His condition doesn't tick the right boxes, apparently.
0:39:12 > 0:39:14But I believe pain management is a right not a privilege
0:39:14 > 0:39:17- so I'm taking the law into my own hands.- How?
0:39:24 > 0:39:27Look, if you want to bow out now I completely understand.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29But time is short. Are you in or out?
0:39:29 > 0:39:31In.
0:39:33 > 0:39:35Hi. Coffee?
0:39:35 > 0:39:37No, thank you.
0:39:39 > 0:39:40You look very pale,
0:39:40 > 0:39:42Dodgy curry.
0:39:42 > 0:39:45I thought you'd have a go at me for dropping you in it with Sharon.
0:39:45 > 0:39:47No, I deserved it.
0:39:48 > 0:39:51You've got to get back on that horse, Elliot.
0:39:51 > 0:39:54I know, but it's so much easier just to go home, shut the door,
0:39:54 > 0:39:58feed Samson and pour myself out a large glass of single malt.
0:39:58 > 0:40:02- And that's all you want for the rest of your life?- No, but...
0:40:02 > 0:40:05You're the same age as Madonna, for God's sake!
0:40:05 > 0:40:08Just go back to Sharon. Apologise.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10I'm so out of practice, Jac.
0:40:10 > 0:40:11So we'll practice.
0:40:27 > 0:40:29I just wanted to say,
0:40:29 > 0:40:32I should never have let rip at you like that earlier.
0:40:32 > 0:40:34Why not? I deserve it.
0:40:39 > 0:40:42My own child had to say goodbye to me in a letter.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44He must've hated me so much.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47I think you should open it.
0:40:52 > 0:40:54I've been carrying it around for days.
0:40:57 > 0:40:58Maybe you would...
0:41:11 > 0:41:12He didn't hate you.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25Come on.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28I think Seb would have wanted you to say a proper goodbye.
0:41:31 > 0:41:34OK, so Mo is Sharon, what do you say?
0:41:34 > 0:41:37Um, hi, Sharon.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41It's good start.
0:41:41 > 0:41:44Now say something complimentary about her appearance.
0:41:44 > 0:41:49Um, I must say I like your skirt.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52Sounds a wee bit pervy. Watch and learn from the master.
0:41:52 > 0:41:56Sharon, have you done something different with your hair?
0:41:56 > 0:41:58It really suits you like that.
0:41:58 > 0:41:59Thanks, Elliot.
0:41:59 > 0:42:02But what if she hasn't done anything different with her hair?
0:42:02 > 0:42:06Doesn't matter, cos all you're doing is letting her know that you've taken notice.
0:42:06 > 0:42:08Making her feel good about herself.
0:42:08 > 0:42:10Now ask her if it's too late to change your mind.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13Um, Sharon, I just thought, if you still had the tickets,
0:42:13 > 0:42:16on second thoughts...
0:42:16 > 0:42:19No, no, no! You've got to be more direct. More manly!
0:42:19 > 0:42:22American women are more ballsy. They like a man with a bit of chutzpah!
0:42:22 > 0:42:26Well, then she won't want me, will she? I can't do this.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29You just need to channel Madonna!
0:42:29 > 0:42:32How? By wearing a pointy bra and gyrating my hips?
0:42:32 > 0:42:36Take that image out my head. Now. Please. Let's start again.
0:42:36 > 0:42:37Sharon...
0:42:37 > 0:42:39BEEPING
0:42:39 > 0:42:41Mrs Cardle.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43Saved by the bell.
0:42:43 > 0:42:45It's all right, you can do this.
0:43:05 > 0:43:06Where did this come from?
0:43:08 > 0:43:12Seb and my daughter become very good friends.
0:43:12 > 0:43:16Seb told her how much he loved this book as a kid.
0:43:16 > 0:43:19She went out and got it for him.
0:43:20 > 0:43:22The tattoo.
0:43:27 > 0:43:29I used to read this to him every night.
0:43:32 > 0:43:35He begged me to change his name to Arthur.
0:43:38 > 0:43:43Seb was always brave, even as a tiny boy.
0:43:46 > 0:43:47Unlike his mother.
0:43:50 > 0:43:52I am very sorry for your loss.
0:43:52 > 0:43:53Don't be.
0:43:56 > 0:43:58I'm relieved he's dead.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05- You should go. - It's OK.
0:44:05 > 0:44:07This is the mad, illegal bit.
0:44:07 > 0:44:08No point both of us risking our careers.
0:44:08 > 0:44:12There you go again, always wanting to hog the limelight.
0:44:12 > 0:44:16From golden boy to bad boy in the space of a single shift.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18I think I prefer the bad boy.
0:44:18 > 0:44:19Good luck.
0:44:23 > 0:44:29He was my first-born, my golden boy...
0:44:32 > 0:44:33..and then I did this to him.
0:44:35 > 0:44:37He just had a cruel roll of the dice.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39No. I destroyed him.
0:44:39 > 0:44:41No, I don't think that's true.
0:44:41 > 0:44:43Don't try to make it all right, it'll never be all right!
0:44:43 > 0:44:44Sorry I just...
0:44:44 > 0:44:52We were on holiday in Spain, it was August 2001.
0:44:54 > 0:45:00The others were just babies and I couldn't cope.
0:45:00 > 0:45:05I let Seb stay too long in the sun, and he burned.
0:45:07 > 0:45:11I should have paid more attention. That's what caused all this.
0:45:11 > 0:45:13You can't know that.
0:45:13 > 0:45:15I'm his mother. I know.
0:45:16 > 0:45:19We all had to watch him suffer...
0:45:22 > 0:45:25..until I couldn't face it any more.
0:45:25 > 0:45:27God, how selfish does that sound?
0:45:30 > 0:45:32Seb must've picked it up.
0:45:35 > 0:45:39He started saying that he was fine, that I needn't visit,
0:45:39 > 0:45:42the other kids needed me more.
0:45:44 > 0:45:46And I let him.
0:45:57 > 0:46:01Before he died, did he ask for me?
0:46:07 > 0:46:08Why would he?
0:46:15 > 0:46:19His hair, he didn't like it like that.
0:46:33 > 0:46:34There...
0:46:36 > 0:46:37..that's better.
0:46:42 > 0:46:46I'll wait with him until my husband comes, if that's all right.
0:46:46 > 0:46:47Of course.
0:47:03 > 0:47:04Chapter One.
0:47:07 > 0:47:08Excalibur.
0:47:11 > 0:47:13I just want to let you know,
0:47:13 > 0:47:16I never touched drugs in my life till this happened,
0:47:16 > 0:47:21so when my GP was talking about cannabis, off the record, like,
0:47:21 > 0:47:24and the positive results for this kind of pain,
0:47:24 > 0:47:25I said no way.
0:47:25 > 0:47:28Didn't want to have anything to do with it.
0:47:28 > 0:47:33But then the pain got so bad, I couldn't cope.
0:47:33 > 0:47:35But all you can do is fend it off,
0:47:35 > 0:47:37whatever way you can.
0:47:40 > 0:47:41Here you go, mate.
0:47:44 > 0:47:48Harry, you're a life-saver, man.
0:47:48 > 0:47:51It's all part of the job description.
0:47:51 > 0:47:55When Dr Kozinsky was speaking to me, she mentioned James,
0:47:55 > 0:47:59asked what he would think. And then I heard him,
0:47:59 > 0:48:01clear as a bell.
0:48:01 > 0:48:05Absolutely furious with me for even thinking of giving up.
0:48:06 > 0:48:11He loved life, fought for every last breath.
0:48:11 > 0:48:12I remember.
0:48:14 > 0:48:16So I can't let him down, can I?
0:48:17 > 0:48:20I've got to at least give it a go.
0:48:20 > 0:48:22So you're agreeing to the surgery?
0:48:22 > 0:48:24But there is a catch.
0:48:24 > 0:48:27- Ah. - You've got to give it a go too.
0:48:28 > 0:48:31I've heard that production is very good.
0:48:42 > 0:48:45- Well? - Mission accomplished.
0:48:45 > 0:48:50Not out of the woods yet, that smell is a dead giveaway.
0:48:54 > 0:48:57Eugh, that's disgusting.
0:48:57 > 0:49:01It's Mary-Claire's, guilty secret.
0:49:01 > 0:49:03Once a Catholic...
0:49:03 > 0:49:05Stop! Stop, stop, stop.
0:49:05 > 0:49:08Thank you for today.
0:49:08 > 0:49:10My pleasure.
0:49:10 > 0:49:13Been having a bit of a rubbish time lately.
0:49:13 > 0:49:14Yeah, I noticed.
0:49:16 > 0:49:17About that kiss...
0:49:20 > 0:49:23Oh, my God. Smells like a brothel in here!
0:49:24 > 0:49:27I prefer natural pheromones myself.
0:49:27 > 0:49:29I'll be checking yours out later.
0:49:37 > 0:49:38Yes?
0:49:40 > 0:49:41Sharon...
0:49:45 > 0:49:47Your hair really suits you like that.
0:49:47 > 0:49:49It's the same as it was this morning.
0:49:49 > 0:49:51What can I do for you?
0:49:51 > 0:49:54I just... I wanted say thank you for talking to Mrs Cardle.
0:49:54 > 0:49:56She's agreed to the surgery.
0:49:56 > 0:49:58That's great. But if you don't mind,
0:49:58 > 0:49:59I've got a lot of work to do.
0:50:02 > 0:50:04Was there something else?
0:50:04 > 0:50:07I just wondered if you still had those tickets. If so,
0:50:07 > 0:50:11I would very much like to be your plus one.
0:50:11 > 0:50:15I'm delighted that Mrs Cardle has made a positive choice.
0:50:15 > 0:50:18But you shouldn't feel that you have to go out of your way to be
0:50:18 > 0:50:20nice to me as some sort of payback.
0:50:20 > 0:50:24You're clearly very uncomfortable around me for whatever reason,
0:50:24 > 0:50:27and I think we should just call it quits.
0:50:28 > 0:50:32We're not in high school any more, Elliot. I'm over it, OK?
0:50:37 > 0:50:39She doesn't seem to want to talk.
0:50:39 > 0:50:41She just asked for paper and pens.
0:50:43 > 0:50:44Thanks.
0:50:48 > 0:50:49Hey.
0:50:51 > 0:50:53You OK?
0:50:55 > 0:50:59- Thought you hated drawing. - I do.
0:51:06 > 0:51:09Today was a big deal, Jas. You want to talk about it?
0:51:12 > 0:51:15Seb says it helps, but I'm rubbish.
0:51:17 > 0:51:19I don't know. Let's take a look.
0:51:23 > 0:51:28Well, OK. Well, that's Brad and your mum and the other kids,
0:51:28 > 0:51:31you in the middle, and me.
0:51:33 > 0:51:37Mmm, although I don't think I like Brad with all those muscles.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40I'm pretty rock myself.
0:51:43 > 0:51:47You miss them, of course you do.
0:51:47 > 0:51:53I promise, everything is going to be OK.
0:51:53 > 0:51:55Hadn't you better get back to work?
0:51:55 > 0:52:01No, I've got something more important to do, come on.
0:52:05 > 0:52:06Gemma.
0:52:07 > 0:52:11- Still here, Dr Tressler?- There was a couple of things I needed to do.
0:52:11 > 0:52:14One moment, please. Well, Mr Dorsey's rather more comfortable now
0:52:14 > 0:52:15so I'm taking him up to plastics.
0:52:15 > 0:52:18The morphine seems to be having a more beneficial effect,
0:52:18 > 0:52:19doesn't it, Mr Dorsey?
0:52:19 > 0:52:21Oh, yes, definitely.
0:52:24 > 0:52:25Good. Well, good luck.
0:52:25 > 0:52:26Thanks for everything.
0:52:26 > 0:52:31Dr Tressler. You carry on please, Mr Dorsey. Thank you.
0:52:31 > 0:52:35I'll be with you shortly. I want to speak to you. Now.
0:52:38 > 0:52:41- Don't want to go to the park. - Come on, fresh air'll do you good.
0:52:41 > 0:52:44- What's in the bag? - Croissants.
0:52:44 > 0:52:45I hate croissants.
0:52:45 > 0:52:47They're for the ducks.
0:52:47 > 0:52:48You said we'd do that when I came back.
0:52:51 > 0:52:53Jas,
0:52:53 > 0:52:57you know what I want for you more than anything?
0:52:57 > 0:53:00I want you to feel free to do what's right for you.
0:53:00 > 0:53:02Not me. Not your mum.
0:53:02 > 0:53:05You.
0:53:05 > 0:53:09I realise Seb was trying to be the grown-up,
0:53:09 > 0:53:11trying to protect everyone from feeling sad,
0:53:11 > 0:53:14and I don't want that for you.
0:53:14 > 0:53:17But you must get so lonely, and Mum has Brad,
0:53:17 > 0:53:19and the other kids.
0:53:19 > 0:53:21Look, you don't need to worry about me.
0:53:21 > 0:53:25I am big enough and ugly enough to look after myself until the next holidays.
0:53:25 > 0:53:28But Mum knows now, she'll think I hate her.
0:53:28 > 0:53:31I haven't had that conversation with her yet.
0:53:31 > 0:53:33So the choice is yours.
0:53:33 > 0:53:35Come to the States, Dad.
0:53:35 > 0:53:38You'll easily find a job there and you could see us all the time.
0:53:40 > 0:53:44It's not that simple. Maybe one day.
0:53:44 > 0:53:48But I will always be your dad. No-one's going to replace me.
0:53:48 > 0:53:54I promise you that. And, you know, Brad is actually pretty cool,
0:53:54 > 0:53:55for a vegan.
0:53:55 > 0:53:57But they don't have 99s in Florida.
0:53:57 > 0:54:00No, they don't. Come on let's get you one.
0:54:00 > 0:54:03You have a very high opinion of yourself, Dr Tressler.
0:54:03 > 0:54:06- No, I... - And scant regard for authority.
0:54:06 > 0:54:08- Mr Hanssen... - Silence.
0:54:08 > 0:54:11Medicine is not a profession where you can bend the rules to
0:54:11 > 0:54:13suit your own personal convictions.
0:54:14 > 0:54:18If I were to believe for one moment that you had enabled Mr Dorsey -
0:54:18 > 0:54:21a fragile and wheelchair bound elderly patient -
0:54:21 > 0:54:24to smoke an illegal class B drug on hospital grounds,
0:54:24 > 0:54:28I would have no choice but to inform the police.
0:54:28 > 0:54:30Understand?
0:54:33 > 0:54:35And if - for the sake of argument -
0:54:35 > 0:54:37you had been fool enough to put your career on the line in such
0:54:37 > 0:54:40a manner - would you, I wonder, have stopped for one moment to
0:54:40 > 0:54:44consider the potential consequences of your recklessness?
0:54:44 > 0:54:47What if Mr Dorsey needed emergency treatment
0:54:47 > 0:54:50and was found to be in a state of cannabis intoxication?
0:54:52 > 0:54:57He would be severely compromised. And you would be finished.
0:55:00 > 0:55:01You've been warned, Dr Tressler.
0:55:06 > 0:55:08Double Flake, please, and sprinkles,
0:55:08 > 0:55:09and green sauce.
0:55:09 > 0:55:12- Green sauce kinda looks like snot. - Dad, you're so gross!
0:55:12 > 0:55:18Well, that's why you're better off with your mother. Thank you.
0:55:18 > 0:55:20PHONE RINGS
0:55:21 > 0:55:23Speak of the devil.
0:55:23 > 0:55:24What are you going to say?
0:55:24 > 0:55:27I am going to tell her that you've had a great holiday,
0:55:27 > 0:55:31and you're looking forward to going back home, to stay.
0:55:38 > 0:55:40Sharon?
0:55:40 > 0:55:43I'm sorry, never was any good at this kind of thing.
0:55:45 > 0:55:52Apologies for my earlier ridiculous behaviour, but here I am, warts and all.
0:55:54 > 0:55:58A vulnerable, terrified, faintly absurd middle-aged man,
0:55:58 > 0:56:01who would love to go to the opera with you,
0:56:01 > 0:56:04not to be nice, but because I think it would be fun.
0:56:04 > 0:56:07But being American you probably think that makes me
0:56:07 > 0:56:10sound like a wimp without any chutzpah.
0:56:10 > 0:56:13No. I think it makes you sound honest.
0:56:13 > 0:56:17Which is all that matters to me. You've got yourself a date.
0:56:22 > 0:56:24They're not back row seats or anything,
0:56:24 > 0:56:26so you'll be perfectly safe.
0:56:26 > 0:56:28See you downstairs at seven.
0:56:37 > 0:56:39Gemma.
0:56:43 > 0:56:46Shouldn't you be leaving for your date?
0:56:46 > 0:56:49Look, it was really just a casual thing, OK.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51Mary-Claire has got completely the wrong end of the stick.
0:56:51 > 0:56:54It's the flat above the bookie's.
0:56:54 > 0:57:00I'm going to run a long, hot, steamy, oily bath,
0:57:00 > 0:57:04so we can be really relaxed. I'll see you later!
0:57:09 > 0:57:10Enjoy your evening.
0:57:22 > 0:57:24Not so fast. Let's have a look at you.
0:57:24 > 0:57:26Same clothes all day, but not bad.
0:57:26 > 0:57:29- Hair could do with a bit of a comb. - And that tie's a bit skewwhiff.
0:57:29 > 0:57:32- Yeah, it is.- Thank you! I think I'll just be me, if you don't mind.
0:57:32 > 0:57:34Main thing is, forget about this place.
0:57:34 > 0:57:35Have some fun.
0:57:35 > 0:57:37And get a snog, with tongues.
0:57:37 > 0:57:39At the very least.
0:57:42 > 0:57:44There you go. Passport. Ticket.
0:57:44 > 0:57:46You're in charge now.
0:57:46 > 0:57:48Can't we stay a bit longer? My flight's not for ages.
0:57:48 > 0:57:51Well I thought we could get dinner at the airport.
0:57:51 > 0:57:55Get you the fattiest fast food we can find before we turn you over to the vegan police.
0:57:55 > 0:57:56Jas.
0:57:59 > 0:58:01Seb's mum asked me to give you this.
0:58:02 > 0:58:04Seems like he wanted you to have it.
0:58:04 > 0:58:06Thanks.
0:58:13 > 0:58:15He remembered.
0:58:15 > 0:58:17See? You didn't let him down.
0:58:19 > 0:58:22Come on, let's get you home too.
0:58:30 > 0:58:32Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd