Old Wounds

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0:00:39 > 0:00:43Just remember what I said, yeah? Don't make any rash decisions.

0:00:44 > 0:00:47I've already lost one child on your watch,

0:00:47 > 0:00:48I'm not going to lose another child.

0:00:48 > 0:00:50Just have to find Hattie a donor.

0:00:50 > 0:00:52And what are the chances of that?

0:00:52 > 0:00:54The girl on AAU, she's a match for Hattie.

0:00:54 > 0:00:56It's all about what's right for her now, isn't it?

0:00:56 > 0:00:59No-one cares about my daughter. She's just a piece of meat to you.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02- Get my daughter out of there NOW. - Mo!

0:01:02 > 0:01:04It's too late, we're past the cut-off point.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06No, that can't be right.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08I think I can justify a tiny lie

0:01:08 > 0:01:10if it means giving a young girl a second chance at life.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13- I know it's been traumatic... - I just need some time to think.

0:01:15 > 0:01:17Where you going to go?

0:01:17 > 0:01:18I rang my dad.

0:01:19 > 0:01:20In Melbourne?

0:01:20 > 0:01:22I'm going to go and visit.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27That's it. You're doing brilliantly.

0:01:29 > 0:01:32C'mon, darling. Just a few more steps.

0:01:32 > 0:01:36- I...- You're doing it, love. You're doing it.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38Oh!

0:01:38 > 0:01:40So, how are things in Monny land?

0:01:40 > 0:01:42"Monny"?

0:01:42 > 0:01:45It's a contraction of Mo and Jonny.

0:01:45 > 0:01:49Like "Brangelina" or "Jedward". Rachel tells me it's all the rage.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52I'm aware of the convention. I just don't think it applies here.

0:01:52 > 0:01:57Well, you know you've got "Sedward" on Keller - Serena and Edward.

0:01:57 > 0:01:59"Monny" on Darwin.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02And "Chracha" on AAU? Or would that be "Sissie"?

0:02:03 > 0:02:05You heard anything?

0:02:06 > 0:02:09Well, I've spoken to Daniel and he seems happy.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14I know she's back next week, so...

0:02:14 > 0:02:16PAGER BEEPS

0:02:16 > 0:02:17Jonny. I've got to go.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21- Say hello to "Shelliot" for me.- Aah!

0:02:21 > 0:02:24See what I did?

0:02:30 > 0:02:32Hi, it's me.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34Can you meet me in the creche? I need to see you.

0:02:36 > 0:02:37Privately.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41She collapsed after four steps of physio.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44She can't make five yards and you say there's nothing wrong?

0:02:44 > 0:02:46Hattie's had a heart transplant, OK?

0:02:46 > 0:02:48Possibly the most major surgery there is.

0:02:48 > 0:02:52That means there's a lot of adjusting to do. It doesn't mean there's anything medically wrong.

0:02:52 > 0:02:53Her immune system's been lowered.

0:02:53 > 0:02:56She may have picked up a cold, the effects of which...

0:02:56 > 0:02:58- Would be negligible. - How can you know that?

0:02:58 > 0:03:00It's what I do. You'll just have to trust me.

0:03:00 > 0:03:02I do trust you, Mo. It's just...

0:03:02 > 0:03:06How can you be sure the same thing isn't happening again,

0:03:06 > 0:03:09that her body's not rejecting the heart?

0:03:09 > 0:03:12Laura, I know you're scared, but these are the facts -

0:03:12 > 0:03:15we did a biopsy, at your request, two days ago.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18There's no signs of rejection. No signs of post-op infection.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20Every indication is that the heart is taking,

0:03:20 > 0:03:23and will continue to do so.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26Now, Nurse Maconie, want to find her something to eat?

0:03:26 > 0:03:29I looked it up. Most successful transplants are home after a week.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33It's been two. I understand there's nothing medically wrong.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35So, why isn't she improving?

0:03:41 > 0:03:44I hear you took four steps today. That's progress, at least.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47Did they tell you I fell flat on my face?

0:03:47 > 0:03:50We all fall, sweetheart. The important bit is to get up again.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53- Something's wrong.- It's not. - I don't feel right.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Maybe not. But you are better.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58How did she die? The girl whose heart I got.

0:03:58 > 0:03:59You know I can't tell you that.

0:03:59 > 0:04:00Anyway, It doesn't matter.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02Bet it does to her.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05All that mattered to her was that someone got her heart.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07That was her legacy.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09Unless it was meant for someone else. The right person.

0:04:09 > 0:04:10The right match.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13If you're worried about rejection, don't be.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16- You were the right match.- You can't be sure.- I can be certain.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19Were you certain about Ben? How'd that work out?

0:04:23 > 0:04:26Your brother suffered hyperacute rejection.

0:04:26 > 0:04:29It happened literally minutes after transplant.

0:04:29 > 0:04:33One thing I can be certain is that Ben never got the chance

0:04:33 > 0:04:35to be afraid of a little physio.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37A little hard work.

0:04:37 > 0:04:38He never made it that far.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47We're going to need FBCs, U&Es.

0:04:47 > 0:04:49Stop. It's my brother you should be worrying about.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52He's lost all feeling in his left leg. He's disabled.

0:04:52 > 0:04:55I prefer the term "mobility challenged" myself.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58What caused it? Your "mobility challenge"?

0:05:02 > 0:05:05Crushed nerves. He's lost all feeling in his leg.

0:05:05 > 0:05:06- How long ago?- Three years. Why?

0:05:06 > 0:05:08That's not the cause of this swelling.

0:05:08 > 0:05:09Right. Can you feel this?

0:05:09 > 0:05:11HE GRUNTS

0:05:11 > 0:05:12Take it that's a yes.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14But that's impossible.

0:05:14 > 0:05:15What's happening?

0:05:15 > 0:05:17Was your brother's leg injured in the car crash?

0:05:17 > 0:05:19We weren't going that fast.

0:05:19 > 0:05:22Right. We're going to book an urgent angiogram, please,

0:05:22 > 0:05:23and we're going to need a GS consultant.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25Can you get Mr Spence?

0:05:26 > 0:05:27DOOR SLAMS

0:05:31 > 0:05:33If you're going to say something, just say it.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35OK, I'll say it. What the hell was that?

0:05:35 > 0:05:39That was me doing my job. That thing I do quite well without you second-guessing me?

0:05:39 > 0:05:40How can I second-guess you when I don't have

0:05:40 > 0:05:44- the faintest idea what you're going to do next - or why?- Ooh, you don't know who I am any more.

0:05:44 > 0:05:47And you don't even feel bad about it. You'd do the whole thing again.

0:05:47 > 0:05:50Too right I would. And, no, I don't feel bad about it.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Not any of it. Look, Hattie's scared,

0:05:52 > 0:05:55it's halting her progress and someone needs to play the bad cop.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58- As for that other thing... - That other thing?

0:05:58 > 0:06:01- It was the right thing to do. - It was unethical.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04Unethical? I wasn't about to waste two girls' lives

0:06:04 > 0:06:05even if Nicole Moss was.

0:06:05 > 0:06:06I don't consider that unethical.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09And you expect us all to go along with that?

0:06:09 > 0:06:11No. I expected you to have my back.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13I expected you to understand that this was more important than

0:06:13 > 0:06:15GMC bullet points on ethical behaviour.

0:06:15 > 0:06:18- Even if it costs you your job? - Uh-huh.- Even if it costs me mine?

0:06:18 > 0:06:21Because I'd have appreciated being given the choice.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24If you two are finished ending each other's careers,

0:06:24 > 0:06:26Elliot wants to see you.

0:06:26 > 0:06:27What does he want?

0:06:27 > 0:06:29Nicole Moss is in with him.

0:06:32 > 0:06:33Results of the angiogram.

0:06:33 > 0:06:34Great.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38Well, there's an arterial occlusion,

0:06:38 > 0:06:40but no obvious causation.

0:06:43 > 0:06:44Grab some porters.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47Michael Spence can't come to us, we shall go to Keller.

0:06:50 > 0:06:53So, have you told Sacha yet?

0:06:53 > 0:06:55No, I haven't told anyone. Only you.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00I found it three days ago. I jumped on the first plane home.

0:07:00 > 0:07:01I didn't know what else to do.

0:07:01 > 0:07:05Look, it's not any of my business but don't you think you should speak to Sacha?

0:07:05 > 0:07:08No. Not yet. Not until I know what it is.

0:07:08 > 0:07:10How bad is it?

0:07:10 > 0:07:11Well, Dr Fenton owes me a few favours,

0:07:11 > 0:07:14so she's going to book you in for an emergency mammogram.

0:07:14 > 0:07:17All right. Thank you for everything.

0:07:17 > 0:07:18Go on, you should go.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21Mm-mm. I'm not going anywhere.

0:07:21 > 0:07:25SHE HUMS RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES

0:07:30 > 0:07:32Ride Of The Valkyries, am I right?

0:07:32 > 0:07:35I love the smell of sanitizer in the morning.

0:07:35 > 0:07:37Mr Griffin. Back from the US?

0:07:37 > 0:07:42Yeah. Re-trained and refreshed and re-invigorated.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Just as you wished for.

0:07:44 > 0:07:48And you've brought back a piece of Americana. How delightful.

0:07:48 > 0:07:49I brought it especially for you.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52"PD." Run into some trouble with the police?

0:07:54 > 0:07:55"Primary Defence."

0:07:55 > 0:07:58It's revolutionary. The future of emergency medicine.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01- Is that so? - And perfect for AAU.

0:08:01 > 0:08:04Sounds fascinating. We must talk about it some time.

0:08:04 > 0:08:09Right now - bit busy. People to see - Harvard MBA dinners to prepare for.

0:08:09 > 0:08:13Oh! The masters of business administration assemble.

0:08:13 > 0:08:15That explains the posh frock.

0:08:15 > 0:08:16It's hardly a frock.

0:08:16 > 0:08:19I wouldn't have thought you'd have the time.

0:08:19 > 0:08:23Word on the street is that Mr Hanssen has handed you

0:08:23 > 0:08:24more executive control.

0:08:24 > 0:08:29Oh, I wouldn't say control. More like...influence.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Just helping to keep things ship-shape.

0:08:31 > 0:08:34He might appreciate how smoothly things are running.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38PHONE RINGS

0:08:41 > 0:08:42Hello. Sacha Levy.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48I think you have the wrong Daniel.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50Mine is on the other side of the world.

0:08:52 > 0:08:53What?

0:08:56 > 0:08:58Nicole? Why are you here?

0:08:58 > 0:09:00To take Poppy to the funeral home.

0:09:00 > 0:09:01She's still here?

0:09:03 > 0:09:06There's been some issues with the funeral home.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09Personal stuff. Details.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11I didn't want her to travel alone.

0:09:13 > 0:09:14Thing is...

0:09:15 > 0:09:19..I've had some time - a lot of time - to...

0:09:20 > 0:09:23..think about things. What happened, you know?

0:09:25 > 0:09:30Reading about transplant procedures, cut-off points.

0:09:31 > 0:09:35Just trying to make sense of it all, I guess.

0:09:35 > 0:09:39And I don't want you to think I'm doubting you or anything like that.

0:09:39 > 0:09:40I'm not.

0:09:40 > 0:09:44I just need to get things straight in my head.

0:09:46 > 0:09:47I need to be sure...

0:09:48 > 0:09:51..that I had no choice.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56OK. Here's what we're going to do.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59- I'm going to let Nurse Maconie get back to his rounds.- No, Mo...

0:09:59 > 0:10:03Second, as lead surgeon I will make myself available for as long

0:10:03 > 0:10:06as it takes to explain and answer whatever you need.

0:10:06 > 0:10:07Thank you.

0:10:15 > 0:10:18I am aware of the principles of primary defence, Ric,

0:10:18 > 0:10:20I just don't want to talk about it now.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22I've got other things on my mind.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24Yeah, of course - the Harvard MBA dinner?

0:10:24 > 0:10:27You know, I've never been - how do you go about getting an invite?

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Usually by attending Harvard University.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31Yes, of course.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33I only went to Cambridge.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35You wait all day for a consultant and two turn up at once.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40Um, Lawrence Howards, referred by Mr Levy from AAU -

0:10:40 > 0:10:43arterial occlusion, possibly complicated by a pre-existing injury.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46Hang on. What do you mean, wait all day for a consultant? Where's Mr Spence?

0:10:46 > 0:10:48Emergency call out.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50He said to pass his list onto you.

0:10:50 > 0:10:51Need some help?

0:10:51 > 0:10:54Just to keep things running smoothly?

0:10:54 > 0:10:57Ha-ha. What emergency call out?

0:10:57 > 0:10:58Mrs Ellis?

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Another 20 minutes.

0:11:04 > 0:11:05Sorry?

0:11:05 > 0:11:08You're up next. Another 20 minutes, 30 max.

0:11:08 > 0:11:09You OK?

0:11:09 > 0:11:12Hm. I was just thinking, maybe I should call Dad

0:11:12 > 0:11:14and let him know we arrived safely.

0:11:14 > 0:11:16Oh! It's the creche.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Nurse Maconie, can you come?

0:11:19 > 0:11:22I thought she was asleep but I can't wake her up.

0:11:23 > 0:11:27Hattie? Hattie, can you hear me?

0:11:27 > 0:11:31- Ms Naylor?- Right, let's have 8 litres of oxygen. Increase fluids and let's start her on...

0:11:31 > 0:11:33It's been disconnected.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38In future, Mr Spence, I'd appreciate a little communication

0:11:38 > 0:11:41before you decide that a mysterious emergency patient

0:11:41 > 0:11:44requires your undivided attention for an entire day.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46- Thank you.- Staffing problems?

0:11:46 > 0:11:47What are you doing?

0:11:47 > 0:11:50Practising for the MBA dinner. I needed somewhere quiet and...

0:11:50 > 0:11:52- You're going? - Giving the keynote speech.

0:11:52 > 0:11:55Harry Kaufmann dropped out at the last moment. We could share a taxi.

0:11:55 > 0:11:56No!

0:11:56 > 0:12:02I don't think so. You, me, my plus one, Milly Molly Mandy.

0:12:02 > 0:12:03Mindy. And she's not going.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06We might just cramp each others' styles, don't you think?

0:12:06 > 0:12:07Depends on who your plus one is.

0:12:07 > 0:12:10Serena, there's a couple of things on this angiogram.

0:12:10 > 0:12:13Oh. Sorry. I didn't realise you were busy.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15Please don't mind me.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18Edward, Ric Griffin - AAU clinical lead.

0:12:18 > 0:12:22Ric, Edward - locum consultant anaesthetist.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25- You must be Serena's ex-husband. Welcome to Holby.- Thank you.

0:12:27 > 0:12:28I got the memo.

0:12:28 > 0:12:30Mary-Claire.

0:12:30 > 0:12:32Are you going to carry that ridiculous cap around all day?

0:12:32 > 0:12:34I told you - I got it for you.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36Primary defence?

0:12:36 > 0:12:38- You know it?- Know it? I spent three months in Cape Town

0:12:38 > 0:12:39setting up a primary defence centre.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41You were at Groote Schuur?

0:12:41 > 0:12:43That's the model they're using in Chicago and in Boston.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46Hello, Ric? Angiogram?

0:12:46 > 0:12:48Oh, yeah. There's some shadowing.

0:12:48 > 0:12:50Look, it'll be easier if you just take a look.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53- You want to tag along? You might find it interesting.- Absolutely.

0:12:57 > 0:12:59Hi, I just got a phone call from the creche -

0:12:59 > 0:13:01my son Daniel had an accident?

0:13:01 > 0:13:03Oh, I think your husband's just over there.

0:13:03 > 0:13:04- OK?- Thank you.

0:13:13 > 0:13:18He's fine. Just a little bump to the head, that's all.

0:13:18 > 0:13:21I took him to the nurse for an ice-pack and some ice cream.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25He just fell over.

0:13:25 > 0:13:28Probably just a bit wibbly-wobbly from the jet lag.

0:13:30 > 0:13:31Probably.

0:13:34 > 0:13:35So...

0:13:37 > 0:13:38..when did you get back?

0:13:39 > 0:13:41We landed a couple of hours ago.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43You haven't been home yet?

0:13:43 > 0:13:45No.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47PAGER BEEPS

0:13:50 > 0:13:53Duty calls.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55Can you come and see me?

0:13:55 > 0:13:58After you've seen Daniel, of course.

0:13:58 > 0:14:01- Yeah. I'll just do this and I'll be right over.- OK.

0:14:08 > 0:14:11This is silly. You're so busy,

0:14:11 > 0:14:14- and I...- Nicole, you said you had something to say?

0:14:14 > 0:14:18- So, you've been doing some reading? - About procedure. About what I saw.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21It doesn't tally.

0:14:21 > 0:14:23Nuts, I know.

0:14:25 > 0:14:29I even asked Professor Hope if there was a video.

0:14:31 > 0:14:33I've read they often record this type of surgery.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37You asked for a video?

0:14:37 > 0:14:39What did Professor Hope say?

0:14:39 > 0:14:41He said he'd look into it,

0:14:41 > 0:14:45but I got the sense he thought I was...losing it.

0:14:45 > 0:14:46You're not losing it.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50What you saw was something no mother should ever see.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53That's why we have procedures in place.

0:14:53 > 0:14:56You witnessed the beginnings of an operation that would, ultimately,

0:14:56 > 0:15:00see your daughter's heart give someone else life and hope.

0:15:01 > 0:15:05One day, you'll understand that and accept it.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07There was no video of the operation.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09Even if there was, I wouldn't show it to you.

0:15:09 > 0:15:13It wouldn't help you. Wouldn't help anyone.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15Sorry, you're needed back on the ward.

0:15:17 > 0:15:18Are you finished here?

0:15:18 > 0:15:23Not quite. Could you take Ms Moss to the mortuary?

0:15:23 > 0:15:25Tell them they're free to release

0:15:25 > 0:15:28her daughter's body to the funeral home.

0:15:29 > 0:15:33Lay Poppy to rest. Find some peace.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43OK. Bye. Bye.

0:15:44 > 0:15:46It's my boss.

0:15:46 > 0:15:48He wants you to go to work?

0:15:48 > 0:15:51He needs me. Call centres don't run themselves, you know.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53Oh, you...you work in a call centre?

0:15:53 > 0:15:56Do I look like the spawn of Satan?

0:15:56 > 0:15:57It's my gift.

0:15:57 > 0:16:01Somehow, making clients feel OK about being put endlessly on hold

0:16:01 > 0:16:04or being transferred to endless different departments.

0:16:04 > 0:16:05How's Lawrence? Can I see him?

0:16:05 > 0:16:09Katherine, it's you we're worried about.

0:16:09 > 0:16:10Just a bit tired, I can cope.

0:16:10 > 0:16:13Actually, you're not coping.

0:16:13 > 0:16:15Just sit down for me, just for a second.

0:16:18 > 0:16:23Now, your BP and heart rate are rising very rapidly.

0:16:23 > 0:16:26This is your body's way of sending you a message.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28We're going to run some tests.

0:16:28 > 0:16:32Gemma, can we have a chest CT, echo and ECG, please? Thank you.

0:16:32 > 0:16:34What if I haven't got time for that?

0:16:34 > 0:16:36Just think of it as us putting you put on hold

0:16:36 > 0:16:39while we transfer you between departments.

0:16:40 > 0:16:41I'll be back in a bit, OK?

0:16:44 > 0:16:46You mentioned a previous injury?

0:16:46 > 0:16:49Nerves were crushed. Lost all feeling in the leg, apparently.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51Until today? What changed?

0:16:51 > 0:16:52Something moved.

0:16:52 > 0:16:54Unless I'm gravely mistaken,

0:16:54 > 0:16:58Mr Howards has had a bullet in his leg for the last three years.

0:16:58 > 0:17:00Woah! Amazing! You've still got it.

0:17:00 > 0:17:04On which note, I've got a speech to write. Very good to meet you, Ric.

0:17:04 > 0:17:07Still got it? Infuriating man.

0:17:08 > 0:17:09What's the speech?

0:17:09 > 0:17:13What? Oh, nothing. Listen, I've got a favour to ask.

0:17:13 > 0:17:15Would you draw up a theatre plan for Mr Howards?

0:17:15 > 0:17:18It's just I've got to be out of here by five for that dinner,

0:17:18 > 0:17:21and, as it turns out, I need to find a plus one.

0:17:22 > 0:17:25- Left it a bit late.- I know. And it can't just be anyone.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27I need someone...

0:17:27 > 0:17:31Someone suitably talented yet prestigious enough to

0:17:31 > 0:17:36reflect your elevated status as a person of significance.

0:17:36 > 0:17:37Exactly.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41I don't suppose you...?

0:17:41 > 0:17:45- Know anybody like that? - That'd be free, that is.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49None that went to Harvard.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55So, bit of a surprise to get the call from the creche.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58It was a snap decision to return.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03I just needed to be home.

0:18:06 > 0:18:07Home?

0:18:08 > 0:18:09Here.

0:18:12 > 0:18:13I just needed...

0:18:14 > 0:18:17- I just wanted... - PHONE RINGS

0:18:22 > 0:18:23Hello?

0:18:25 > 0:18:29Yeah, I'll be there in one minute. Thank you, Michael.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34Michael? I thought he was with some emergency patient.

0:18:36 > 0:18:37Yes, he is.

0:18:39 > 0:18:40Sacha...

0:18:41 > 0:18:42..I've...

0:18:44 > 0:18:45..I've got...

0:18:48 > 0:18:52..this friend...this old school friend...

0:18:54 > 0:18:59..Sarah - she had some bad news three days ago.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01So I've referred her to Michael.

0:19:02 > 0:19:06Chrissie, that's terrible news.

0:19:06 > 0:19:08Is there anything I can do?

0:19:09 > 0:19:12No, but thank you.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16Michael's dealing with it.

0:19:16 > 0:19:17OK.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19She's going for her scan now.

0:19:21 > 0:19:22So I'd better...

0:19:22 > 0:19:25Of course. Yeah, go.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28You and me...we still need to talk, obviously.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31Just call me when you're ready, OK?

0:19:39 > 0:19:41Can you hear that?

0:19:41 > 0:19:43What?

0:19:43 > 0:19:44I keep hearing an echo,

0:19:44 > 0:19:47like we're in a tunnel, or underwater.

0:19:47 > 0:19:49No. I don't hear that.

0:19:49 > 0:19:50Must be in my head.

0:19:52 > 0:19:54What happened?

0:19:54 > 0:19:55We're not sure.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57Your line came out of your arm for maybe about an hour.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59We're going to run some tests.

0:19:59 > 0:20:00Is it serious?

0:20:00 > 0:20:03Could be. We'll just have to see.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05Maybe it's a sign.

0:20:05 > 0:20:06Of what?

0:20:06 > 0:20:08Rejection? That it's not meant to be.

0:20:09 > 0:20:14Why are you so determined that this isn't going to work?

0:20:14 > 0:20:16I didn't expect this, you know. Didn't ask for it.

0:20:16 > 0:20:17It all happened so fast.

0:20:19 > 0:20:21Yep, well, it had to.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24I know that. It's just...

0:20:24 > 0:20:28I've got someone else's heart inside me. She died - some girl,

0:20:28 > 0:20:30someone's daughter.

0:20:30 > 0:20:34- Why me? - It had to be someone. Why not you?

0:20:38 > 0:20:40Maybe I don't deserve it.

0:20:42 > 0:20:44I bought this for her three weeks ago.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Poppy'd been on at me for ages about it.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50"25% off online."

0:20:52 > 0:20:54She wanted to wear it, the day she...

0:20:55 > 0:20:58The day of the accident. I said no.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01That it was for special occasions only.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09Well, she can wear it now.

0:21:09 > 0:21:11I can give that to one of the technicians.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13They'll pass it on to the funeral director if you want.

0:21:17 > 0:21:18DOOR OPENS

0:21:24 > 0:21:27She's in there, somewhere, isn't she?

0:21:30 > 0:21:32You must think I'm crazy. Am I?

0:21:32 > 0:21:36We think that you're a mother who just lost her daughter.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38I'm a mother who withdrew her consent.

0:21:39 > 0:21:42Who wanted to stop another girl's life being saved.

0:21:42 > 0:21:45That was your right. It's everyone's right.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47It's why the system works the way it does.

0:21:47 > 0:21:49The system, procedure. I'm drowning in it.

0:21:55 > 0:21:59I know that what happened, how it happened...

0:22:00 > 0:22:03..wasn't textbook, so to speak.

0:22:05 > 0:22:08But something just keeps niggling at me.

0:22:08 > 0:22:10- The cut-off point?- Yeah.

0:22:10 > 0:22:12I can understand that.

0:22:12 > 0:22:17It seems like a straightforward directive, but,

0:22:17 > 0:22:19in detail, it's messy.

0:22:19 > 0:22:25"Where consent has been given, that consent cannot be withdrawn

0:22:25 > 0:22:29"once an incision has been made to remove the organ.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32"This must be made clear to the person giving consent."

0:22:36 > 0:22:41The thing is, I keep going over it in my mind,

0:22:41 > 0:22:45and I can't remember seeing an incision.

0:22:45 > 0:22:48I looked at Poppy, at my daughter,

0:22:48 > 0:22:53and I can't remember seeing something that must have been there.

0:22:53 > 0:22:58And I don't know whether I'm starting to lose it,

0:22:58 > 0:23:00to...come apart at the seams.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03- Nicole...- You were there with me.

0:23:03 > 0:23:07You saw. Tell me.

0:23:07 > 0:23:11I'm not looking to blame anyone. I just need to know.

0:23:11 > 0:23:17Need to...get what I think I saw out of my head.

0:23:17 > 0:23:18SHE SOBS

0:23:20 > 0:23:22Please?

0:23:24 > 0:23:30Jonathan, Serena Campbell. How's Kings? Good, good.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32Listen, how are you fixed for tonight?

0:23:32 > 0:23:34I've got a spare ticket for the Harvard...

0:23:36 > 0:23:37Why are you laughing?

0:23:39 > 0:23:41That's not how I remember it.

0:23:42 > 0:23:44Jonathan? Hello?

0:23:46 > 0:23:47You busy?

0:23:47 > 0:23:49Yes.

0:23:49 > 0:23:50Doing what?

0:23:50 > 0:23:52Scraping the bottom of a very deep barrel,

0:23:52 > 0:23:56in what I can only imagine is an act of ritual self-humiliation.

0:23:58 > 0:24:02Well, I hate to interrupt you. Lawrence Howards' theatre plan.

0:24:02 > 0:24:03Thank you.

0:24:14 > 0:24:17Mr Howards, we've identified the cause of your swelling,

0:24:17 > 0:24:19and there is a surgical option.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21OK.

0:24:21 > 0:24:23You'll be pleased to hear we've discovered

0:24:23 > 0:24:25the cause of your pre-existing injury.

0:24:25 > 0:24:30Were you aware you had a bullet

0:24:30 > 0:24:33lodged in your upper thigh?

0:24:33 > 0:24:35Being shot is not something you forget.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37Did someone forget to take it out?

0:24:37 > 0:24:40It's just it's not mentioned in your patient records.

0:24:40 > 0:24:43There is no record. I was in Thailand.

0:24:43 > 0:24:46There was an...incident.

0:24:46 > 0:24:48A stupid accident.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50One that left you thinking you were crippled?

0:24:50 > 0:24:52- Thinking?- What Mr Griffin means is that

0:24:52 > 0:24:56your condition appears to be reversible.

0:24:56 > 0:24:58The accident today has highlighted the fact that the bullet

0:24:58 > 0:25:01has caused chronic infection and bleeding in the groin.

0:25:01 > 0:25:03But we can take the bullet out, and do a graft...

0:25:03 > 0:25:07What do you mean, reversible?

0:25:07 > 0:25:09Well, you should be able to walk again.

0:25:14 > 0:25:15This is a good thing, Mr Howards.

0:25:15 > 0:25:17No. I don't want that.

0:25:17 > 0:25:20- What?- I don't want my condition reversed.

0:25:20 > 0:25:21I don't want the bullet removed.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24But we have to in order to stop the bleeding.

0:25:24 > 0:25:28Are you saying you'd rather die than not be crippled?

0:25:28 > 0:25:31I'm saying find another way. The bullet stays.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38Ms Howards? What are you doing?

0:25:38 > 0:25:39Getting snacks.

0:25:41 > 0:25:45That's not exactly the appropriate food for someone with tachycardia.

0:25:45 > 0:25:46It's not for me.

0:25:47 > 0:25:48Let me guess - your brother?

0:25:51 > 0:25:54He's got nurses to look after him now.

0:25:54 > 0:25:56It's not a burden. I don't mind.

0:25:56 > 0:25:59You work nights, look after your brother during the day.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01I take it you don't have any home help?

0:26:02 > 0:26:04When do you sleep?

0:26:04 > 0:26:05Sleep's for the weak.

0:26:10 > 0:26:12What's she doing out of bed?

0:26:12 > 0:26:14Running errands for her brother.

0:26:14 > 0:26:15The skiver?

0:26:15 > 0:26:17Come on, don't tell me you haven't thought it.

0:26:17 > 0:26:19Dependency issues, or what?

0:26:20 > 0:26:23Maybe he's genuinely in need of help.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25I wasn't talking about him.

0:26:25 > 0:26:26Her echo results.

0:26:31 > 0:26:33Tests back?

0:26:33 > 0:26:35More waiting.

0:26:39 > 0:26:43Laura, how much does Hattie remember of Ben?

0:26:43 > 0:26:45What, of his illness?

0:26:45 > 0:26:47That too, but I meant in general.

0:26:47 > 0:26:52Um, well, she was ten when he...

0:26:52 > 0:26:53when he died.

0:26:53 > 0:26:56I tried to protect her from the details.

0:26:56 > 0:27:01She doesn't talk about him much any more. She did adore him, though.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04She probably doesn't remember that, but...

0:27:04 > 0:27:06The young tend to forget.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08But you kept his memory alive, yeah?

0:27:08 > 0:27:12Well, of course I did. He was my son.

0:27:12 > 0:27:15It's not like I kept a shrine to him or anything.

0:27:16 > 0:27:17Why, what's this about?

0:27:17 > 0:27:21It's just something Hattie said, about not deserving the heart.

0:27:21 > 0:27:23Why would she say that, or even think it?

0:27:23 > 0:27:25I don't know.

0:27:25 > 0:27:28But as you know, this process is incredibly complicated.

0:27:28 > 0:27:32Emotionally, psychologically.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34You think she pulled that line out herself?

0:27:36 > 0:27:38That is practically suicidal.

0:27:38 > 0:27:40She might not realise...

0:27:40 > 0:27:44She won't, because she didn't do it. Mo, you have got a lot of nerve!

0:27:44 > 0:27:45Trying to cover up for your staff.

0:27:45 > 0:27:48My daughter's a heart recipient, not a head case!

0:27:55 > 0:27:57At this rate, you'll take my place

0:27:57 > 0:27:59as most hated doctor on the ward by tea time.

0:27:59 > 0:28:02I think she disconnected that line herself.

0:28:02 > 0:28:05I take it the mother didn't agree with your psych profile.

0:28:05 > 0:28:07No. But she might agree with someone else's.

0:28:07 > 0:28:09- Who?- "Shelliot."

0:28:26 > 0:28:28There's signs of supraventricular tachycardia,

0:28:28 > 0:28:30but you don't need a CT scan.

0:28:30 > 0:28:31Have you done a tox screen?

0:28:31 > 0:28:32What would I be looking for?

0:28:32 > 0:28:35Amphetamines. Coke, Speed. Whatever.

0:28:35 > 0:28:38There's no way Ms Howards is a drug user.

0:28:38 > 0:28:39She's got the heart of an angel.

0:28:39 > 0:28:41She's got the heart of a crack head, Sacha.

0:28:41 > 0:28:43Beta blockers and 12 steps is what she needs,

0:28:43 > 0:28:45not a cuddle and a cup of tea!

0:28:49 > 0:28:51Chrissie's back.

0:28:51 > 0:28:52What? Here?

0:28:53 > 0:28:56I only found out because the creche rang looking for her.

0:28:58 > 0:29:02When I asked Daniel where Mummy was, he said, "With Uncle Michael."

0:29:02 > 0:29:04Michael Spence?

0:29:04 > 0:29:05Yeah! Isn't that funny?

0:29:07 > 0:29:10Isn't it a bit weird? You know, that she came back

0:29:10 > 0:29:12without telling you, to see Michael?

0:29:12 > 0:29:14Why would she do that?

0:29:14 > 0:29:18Oh, turns out an old school friend of hers is very sick.

0:29:18 > 0:29:21She referred her to Michael, jumped on the first plane home.

0:29:21 > 0:29:23What's with the flyers?

0:29:23 > 0:29:27It's a fund-raiser for Rachel. Quiz night in Albie's.

0:29:27 > 0:29:30Although now Chrissie's back, I'm thinking I might make it karaoke.

0:29:30 > 0:29:32This is going to sound crazy,

0:29:32 > 0:29:34but it's how I won her over first time round.

0:29:34 > 0:29:36So, maybe if she sees...

0:29:36 > 0:29:37Stop! Sacha, just stop.

0:29:41 > 0:29:44I saw her. I saw them together.

0:29:46 > 0:29:49The morning she left, he drove her in.

0:29:49 > 0:29:51She'd stayed with him.

0:29:59 > 0:30:01Why didn't you tell me this before?

0:30:02 > 0:30:03I...wasn't...

0:30:03 > 0:30:07Mo. Why didn't you tell me this before?

0:30:09 > 0:30:11I didn't want to hurt you.

0:30:13 > 0:30:14But now you do?

0:30:22 > 0:30:24Now you're willing to hurt me?

0:30:29 > 0:30:31OK, I think I've got my beginning.

0:30:31 > 0:30:34How lovely for you. We're busy.

0:30:34 > 0:30:36Bullet man? He seems straightforward enough.

0:30:36 > 0:30:38He's grown rather attached to the bullet.

0:30:38 > 0:30:40I imagine he has, given it's in his leg.

0:30:40 > 0:30:42It's more of a sentimental attachment.

0:30:42 > 0:30:44Give it to him in a jar, like a kidney stone, or something.

0:30:44 > 0:30:46He won't actually let us take it out.

0:30:46 > 0:30:48What? Why?

0:30:48 > 0:30:50Does it matter?

0:30:50 > 0:30:52I guess not.

0:30:52 > 0:30:54Then...work round it.

0:30:54 > 0:30:57What do you think we're trying to do? It's not that simple.

0:30:57 > 0:30:59We can't access the femoral without touching it.

0:30:59 > 0:31:01We can't work in such a confined space.

0:31:01 > 0:31:04Anaesthetics. All theory, no finesse.

0:31:04 > 0:31:07I meant work round the problem - take the bullet out, fix the problem, then...

0:31:07 > 0:31:09Then put the bullet back?

0:31:09 > 0:31:12Genius, huh? Surgeons. All manual labour, no big picture.

0:31:12 > 0:31:14Well, it would be genius.

0:31:14 > 0:31:17It would also land us with a huge lawsuit.

0:31:17 > 0:31:20We can't place a foreign body inside him, even if he says he wants it.

0:31:20 > 0:31:23Well, don't put it back, then. Just tell him it's still inside him.

0:31:23 > 0:31:26- How's he going to know any different? - A little thing called an X-ray.

0:31:26 > 0:31:29Give him an old one. Or any one - he doesn't know what to look for.

0:31:33 > 0:31:38Hattie, our tests have come back, and they're conclusive.

0:31:38 > 0:31:42There's no signs of rejection. No signs of anything wrong at all.

0:31:42 > 0:31:43That's wonderful.

0:31:43 > 0:31:44But what about the symptoms?

0:31:44 > 0:31:47The fatigue, breathlessness, flutters? All of it?

0:31:47 > 0:31:49That's a very good question.

0:31:49 > 0:31:51I'd like to introduce Dr Sharon Kozinsky.

0:31:51 > 0:31:52She'd like to have a talk with you.

0:31:52 > 0:31:54Chat, really. Nothing more than that.

0:31:54 > 0:31:56- About what? - This and that. Nothing too heavy.

0:31:56 > 0:31:59And the possibility that Hattie's symptoms are psychosomatic.

0:31:59 > 0:32:02Thank you, Ms Effanga, I'll take it from here.

0:32:02 > 0:32:04You think my daughter has psychological problems?

0:32:04 > 0:32:06No-one is saying that.

0:32:06 > 0:32:07Well, she did.

0:32:07 > 0:32:10She almost as good as accused Hattie of tearing her own line out.

0:32:10 > 0:32:12Did she? I wasn't aware of that.

0:32:12 > 0:32:15I'm not having this. I'd rather take her out of here than...

0:32:15 > 0:32:18Actually, why don't all of you leave me and Hattie in peace?

0:32:18 > 0:32:20- It's OK.- Go on.

0:32:23 > 0:32:26Remind me that you and I need to have a little chat later.

0:32:29 > 0:32:33Well, that was all a bit awkward, wasn't it?

0:32:46 > 0:32:47Tox screen results.

0:32:47 > 0:32:48Oh, great.

0:32:48 > 0:32:50Who would have thought it, eh?

0:32:50 > 0:32:53I'll keep an eye out for her next time I'm at a rave.

0:32:53 > 0:32:54Thanks.

0:33:02 > 0:33:04It's not what you think. It's allenol.

0:33:04 > 0:33:08- Allenol? Got ADHD, have you?- No.

0:33:08 > 0:33:12I've got a mortgage to pay and a sibling that pretty much needs constant care.

0:33:12 > 0:33:14And the only way I can pay for it is by working nights.

0:33:14 > 0:33:16It keeps me going.

0:33:16 > 0:33:20Katherine, it is killing you. You have to find a better way.

0:33:20 > 0:33:23- Sorting your brother out would be a start.- He needs me.

0:33:23 > 0:33:26He's refusing to let surgeons fix his mobility problem.

0:33:26 > 0:33:30- They are saying they can reverse it. He's saying no.- Why? Why would he do that?

0:33:30 > 0:33:31I don't know. You tell me.

0:33:31 > 0:33:33He must be scared. He mustn't understand.

0:33:34 > 0:33:38Do you know what? I think he understands perfectly.

0:33:38 > 0:33:39He's so dependent on you -

0:33:39 > 0:33:41so dependent on the life you provide -

0:33:41 > 0:33:43that he's willing to stay a cripple than change a single thing.

0:33:45 > 0:33:49Now, I have written you a prescription for some beta blockers.

0:33:49 > 0:33:51You're discharged and you're free to go and do...

0:33:51 > 0:33:52whatever it is you do.

0:33:58 > 0:34:01She pulled her line out, Jonny. I know she did.

0:34:04 > 0:34:06I had good reasons. For everything.

0:34:08 > 0:34:10They weren't worth it.

0:34:10 > 0:34:12Sorry?

0:34:12 > 0:34:17Whatever your reasons. However good, they were not worth it.

0:34:20 > 0:34:22Did something happen with Nicole?

0:34:23 > 0:34:25She apologised to me...

0:34:26 > 0:34:28..for being a monster -

0:34:28 > 0:34:31for, erm, withdrawing consent.

0:34:31 > 0:34:32Then she asked...

0:34:32 > 0:34:37She begged me to tell her what I'd seen in that theatre.

0:34:37 > 0:34:40- Because she's going out of her mind. - What did you say?

0:34:40 > 0:34:43I looked her dead in the eye and I lied to her.

0:34:43 > 0:34:48Because I love you. Because of everything we've had.

0:34:52 > 0:34:54But I'm done.

0:34:55 > 0:34:56You're done?

0:34:56 > 0:35:00Look, I didn't ask for this. Any of it.

0:35:00 > 0:35:03Laura came to me. Not once - twice.

0:35:03 > 0:35:05She came to me - I didn't seek her out.

0:35:05 > 0:35:08She asked me to save her children's lives and I tried.

0:35:09 > 0:35:11I didn't ask for Poppy to die.

0:35:11 > 0:35:13I didn't ask for Sacha to alert us to the possible organ.

0:35:13 > 0:35:17I didn't ask for you to break procedure by speaking to a donor mother.

0:35:17 > 0:35:21Didn't ask for the donor mother to come to theatre!

0:35:21 > 0:35:24I didn't ask for any of it. But I dealt with it.

0:35:24 > 0:35:27Focused on saving Hattie's life because I couldn't save Ben's.

0:35:27 > 0:35:30And what thanks do I get? What support?

0:35:30 > 0:35:32From you? From Laura, Sacha?

0:35:32 > 0:35:35Questions, accusations, second-guessing.

0:35:35 > 0:35:38A bloody birthday card. I didn't ask for any of this!

0:35:38 > 0:35:40- What birthday card?- What?

0:35:40 > 0:35:43You said you got a birthday card. It's not your...

0:35:43 > 0:35:44What's going on, Mo?

0:35:46 > 0:35:47Mo!

0:35:51 > 0:35:53Serena, would you mind terribly

0:35:53 > 0:35:57if I referenced meeting you at Harvard as part of my finale?

0:35:57 > 0:35:59- What?- Who's your plus one?

0:35:59 > 0:36:02- Why? - Well, I won't mention our Harvard...

0:36:02 > 0:36:06experiences if it's going to make things awkward.

0:36:06 > 0:36:07It won't make things awkward

0:36:07 > 0:36:10because you won't be mentioning me in your speech at all.

0:36:10 > 0:36:11- Is that clear?- Crystal.

0:36:11 > 0:36:15- And you don't have to tell me who your plus one is. It's none of my business.- Correct.

0:36:15 > 0:36:18It's just I got the weirdest message from Jonathan Waters.

0:36:18 > 0:36:21You know - from King's... In fact, didn't you date him...?

0:36:21 > 0:36:23- It's Ric.- Griffin?

0:36:23 > 0:36:26- Yeah.- Wonderful. We'll have a blast.

0:36:31 > 0:36:33- Ms Campbell?- Yes? - Mr Griffin wants to see you.

0:36:33 > 0:36:35There's a problem with Mr Howards.

0:36:35 > 0:36:37You want what?

0:36:37 > 0:36:42I want an assurance that you won't remove the bullet from my leg.

0:36:42 > 0:36:44And I want it in writing.

0:36:44 > 0:36:46OK. I've just about had enough of this.

0:36:46 > 0:36:52Mr Howards, you may have noticed a growing tightness in your leg.

0:36:52 > 0:36:56That is because it is slowly filling with blood.

0:36:56 > 0:36:58That's just the tip of the iceberg.

0:36:58 > 0:37:04Sooner or later, the pressure will rip open your femoral artery.

0:37:04 > 0:37:05Do you understand?

0:37:05 > 0:37:06Find another way.

0:37:06 > 0:37:09There isn't another way. Not a safe one.

0:37:09 > 0:37:11Then try the unsafe one then!

0:37:12 > 0:37:13Right.

0:37:21 > 0:37:22It's true?

0:37:22 > 0:37:24You're refusing treatment? Why?

0:37:24 > 0:37:27I don't want things to change.

0:37:27 > 0:37:28For us.

0:37:28 > 0:37:31I cook for you. I clean for you. I clothe you.

0:37:31 > 0:37:34I work myself into the ground just to provide for you.

0:37:34 > 0:37:36Tell me - what exactly do I get out of this?

0:37:36 > 0:37:39What kind of a life do you think this is for me?

0:37:39 > 0:37:40The only life you have.

0:37:49 > 0:37:52Oh, no, no, no, no.

0:38:02 > 0:38:04Hey.

0:38:04 > 0:38:07Oh, Sacha, hey.

0:38:07 > 0:38:09How's Chrissie?

0:38:09 > 0:38:11Chrissie? Um, yeah, good, I think...

0:38:11 > 0:38:13And her friend?

0:38:14 > 0:38:18Sarah, right. Well, she's...having her tests.

0:38:18 > 0:38:23I think it's all going well, you know. She's...brave.

0:38:26 > 0:38:27If you're looking for Chrissie...

0:38:27 > 0:38:30Er, no, I was actually looking for you.

0:38:30 > 0:38:35- Me?- Yeah. I just wanted to thank you,

0:38:35 > 0:38:37for looking after Chrissie's friend.

0:38:38 > 0:38:40Taking the day, pushing stuff through.

0:38:41 > 0:38:44Yeah, well, Chrissie asked, so...

0:38:44 > 0:38:46Yeah.

0:38:51 > 0:38:53Well, I'll see you around.

0:38:53 > 0:38:54OK.

0:39:01 > 0:39:02I got a message to meet you.

0:39:02 > 0:39:04Nurse Maconie, thank you for coming.

0:39:06 > 0:39:08And thank you for your patience.

0:39:08 > 0:39:12What I've got to say is as much to Nurse Maconie as it is to you.

0:39:18 > 0:39:21Ms Moss, we've talked a bit about procedures,

0:39:21 > 0:39:25but the fact is, the system doesn't actually work effectively.

0:39:25 > 0:39:27The whole notion of opting in...

0:39:28 > 0:39:32I've been a transplant registrar for seven years now.

0:39:32 > 0:39:34Transplants save lives,

0:39:34 > 0:39:36but the system stops the supply.

0:39:36 > 0:39:39Even worse, it means families who are grieving

0:39:39 > 0:39:42have to make terrible choices,

0:39:42 > 0:39:43like turning off a switch.

0:39:44 > 0:39:47That doesn't justify the fact that I misled you.

0:39:48 > 0:39:50I wanted to give you some context.

0:39:50 > 0:39:52It's not an excuse.

0:39:52 > 0:39:55I misled you, and I compromised my colleagues and my department.

0:39:57 > 0:39:59And for that, I'm sorry. Truly sorry.

0:40:09 > 0:40:10You lied?

0:40:11 > 0:40:13Yes. I'm sor...

0:40:15 > 0:40:16You lied.

0:40:16 > 0:40:20- Yes.- Nicole, stop! - Leave it, Mo!

0:40:20 > 0:40:25Outside that room, with her body lying there, you lied.

0:40:25 > 0:40:28Nicole, please, stop.

0:40:32 > 0:40:34Who do I speak to?

0:40:34 > 0:40:37Serena Campbell. It's Keller Ward.

0:40:40 > 0:40:42Jonny, you didn't deserve that. I'm so sor...

0:40:42 > 0:40:43Yeah, I did.

0:40:45 > 0:40:48And we both deserve whatever's coming next.

0:40:52 > 0:40:55How do I look?

0:40:55 > 0:40:56About two minutes away from being fired.

0:40:56 > 0:40:58- Come on, don't be like that. - Like what?

0:40:58 > 0:41:00OK. I'm sorry. I just thought...

0:41:00 > 0:41:02I'm looking forward to this evening, for both of us.

0:41:02 > 0:41:04If I've overstepped...

0:41:04 > 0:41:06Oh, sorry.

0:41:06 > 0:41:08Truth is, I haven't even thought about this dinner

0:41:08 > 0:41:11until Elinor talked to me about it the other night.

0:41:11 > 0:41:13How you were networking... What?

0:41:13 > 0:41:15No. I can't...

0:41:15 > 0:41:17- I can't do this.- What?

0:41:17 > 0:41:20This. You being in my space.

0:41:20 > 0:41:24We have boundaries, Edward.

0:41:24 > 0:41:29For years, we've worked in different places, seen different friends,

0:41:29 > 0:41:31lived different lives.

0:41:31 > 0:41:35And we never, ever, talk about Elinor, except on education,

0:41:35 > 0:41:37health and trust fund.

0:41:37 > 0:41:38Those are the rules.

0:41:39 > 0:41:43And yet, in the space of, oh, what, two weeks?

0:41:43 > 0:41:46You're in my office, like you own it.

0:41:46 > 0:41:48You're in my social life, like you're the centre of it.

0:41:48 > 0:41:53And talking about our daughter as if she was your best friend.

0:41:53 > 0:41:55You're right. You're right.

0:41:55 > 0:41:57If you don't want me to go tonight, I won't.

0:41:57 > 0:41:59I don't want you to go tonight.

0:42:01 > 0:42:02OK.

0:42:05 > 0:42:08PHONE RINGS

0:42:08 > 0:42:09What?

0:42:12 > 0:42:13What's the complaint?

0:42:16 > 0:42:19The aspiration revealed a discoloured fluid.

0:42:19 > 0:42:22There were some red cells,

0:42:22 > 0:42:26but also discohesive cells that had random polarity,

0:42:26 > 0:42:31high-grade nuclear atypia, absence of any myoepithelial cells.

0:42:32 > 0:42:35Bottom line, Michael. Please.

0:42:36 > 0:42:40We need to do a Trucut.

0:42:40 > 0:42:43There's still a chance this isn't...

0:42:43 > 0:42:46but you should start to prepare yourself. Emotionally.

0:42:47 > 0:42:51You're going to need people. Support. Emotionally.

0:42:53 > 0:42:55You're going to need your family.

0:42:55 > 0:42:58Dr Levy?

0:42:59 > 0:43:04Ms Effanga tells me you've been hearing echoes,

0:43:04 > 0:43:06like you're underwater? Want to tell me about that?

0:43:06 > 0:43:08Why? Is it a psychological thing?

0:43:08 > 0:43:12Don't know, probably not. Still, humour me.

0:43:14 > 0:43:17It's been bad the last couple of weeks.

0:43:17 > 0:43:20- Louder.- Louder? So it was there before?

0:43:21 > 0:43:25For how long? A month, two months?

0:43:25 > 0:43:28I don't know - six months. Does it matter?

0:43:28 > 0:43:33When I was your age, I used to get these...panic attacks.

0:43:34 > 0:43:36Hard to believe, I know.

0:43:36 > 0:43:39But it led to me being interested in psychiatry,

0:43:39 > 0:43:42so - silver linings and all that.

0:43:42 > 0:43:45You think I'm having panic attacks?

0:43:45 > 0:43:47I think you're feeling overwhelmed.

0:43:47 > 0:43:50Two weeks ago, you found out you were dying...

0:43:52 > 0:43:54..just like your brother.

0:43:55 > 0:43:58Then you were saved,

0:43:58 > 0:44:02only to find that someone else had died to save you.

0:44:05 > 0:44:07I'd find that pretty overwhelming.

0:44:10 > 0:44:12It wasn't an accident, you know.

0:44:12 > 0:44:17Yes, I'd guessed that. Hard to get accidentally shot in the derriere.

0:44:19 > 0:44:23What was it? Carjacking? Robbery gone wrong?

0:44:23 > 0:44:28It was his fiancee. His mail-order bride.

0:44:28 > 0:44:32Fell in love over the internet, or thought he had.

0:44:32 > 0:44:34Spent a fortune and everything. Can you believe that?

0:44:34 > 0:44:36He flew out to Chiang Mai to bring her home

0:44:36 > 0:44:39and found out it was all a scam.

0:44:39 > 0:44:41And she...shot him?

0:44:42 > 0:44:45Rifle. He wouldn't take no for an answer.

0:44:48 > 0:44:51THEY LAUGH

0:44:52 > 0:44:53You are terrible.

0:44:58 > 0:45:00Oh, I'm so sorry.

0:45:02 > 0:45:04It's been one of those days.

0:45:04 > 0:45:08He's just so shy, so awkward with people.

0:45:08 > 0:45:10When he met this girl

0:45:10 > 0:45:12and she seemed to like him, it was a blessing - I encouraged it.

0:45:14 > 0:45:17You can't take the blame for other people's choices.

0:45:17 > 0:45:20No. But I can take responsibility for my own.

0:45:22 > 0:45:26Look, I'm in my 40s, no relationship, dead-end job,

0:45:26 > 0:45:29no real chance of having a family of my own.

0:45:29 > 0:45:32It was easier looking after him.

0:45:32 > 0:45:34Living for him.

0:45:34 > 0:45:35You deserve better.

0:45:37 > 0:45:38We both do.

0:45:44 > 0:45:46- Ms Moss is extremely angry.- I know.

0:45:46 > 0:45:49And if these charges are true, she has every right to be.

0:45:49 > 0:45:52- I know.- As do your colleagues.

0:45:52 > 0:45:53I know.

0:45:55 > 0:45:57The charges are true. I did it.

0:45:57 > 0:45:59I lied about the cut-off point.

0:45:59 > 0:46:02It was me and me alone. I take full responsibility.

0:46:04 > 0:46:05What happened?

0:46:05 > 0:46:08Just trying to save a girl's life.

0:46:08 > 0:46:10I'm not sure I even succeeded at that.

0:46:11 > 0:46:13It wasn't worth it.

0:46:14 > 0:46:15Look, I'll do everything I can,

0:46:15 > 0:46:18but if she goes ahead with a formal complaint...

0:46:18 > 0:46:20I understand. Thanks.

0:46:27 > 0:46:29I'm feeling overwhelmed. So what?

0:46:31 > 0:46:33What does that have to do with feeling sick?

0:46:33 > 0:46:36Being barely able to walk a few steps without collapsing,

0:46:36 > 0:46:39without feeling...wrong?

0:46:39 > 0:46:42Interesting word. Is that how you feel? "Wrong"?

0:46:42 > 0:46:43It's just a word.

0:46:46 > 0:46:48Your notes say that you're taking citalopram.

0:46:50 > 0:46:53Why are you taking anti-depressants, Hattie?

0:46:53 > 0:46:56You know. You must if it's on the notes.

0:46:59 > 0:47:02I had an abortion. So what?

0:47:02 > 0:47:06When did this happen? Was it six months ago?

0:47:09 > 0:47:12Round the time you started hearing echoes?

0:47:15 > 0:47:17Feeling like you were underwater?

0:47:19 > 0:47:20Under pressure?

0:47:22 > 0:47:24Drowning?

0:47:30 > 0:47:33You're not wrong to feel what you're feeling.

0:47:33 > 0:47:35You've done nothing to be ashamed about.

0:47:35 > 0:47:40You're just a kid who has been through more than most could handle.

0:47:40 > 0:47:41You deserve.

0:47:45 > 0:47:47Edward, it's me. Look, go to the dinner,

0:47:47 > 0:47:48I've no right to tell you not to.

0:47:48 > 0:47:51It's just as much your history as mine.

0:47:51 > 0:47:52I doubt I will be able to go anyway,

0:47:52 > 0:47:55which is probably best for both of us.

0:47:55 > 0:47:58Everything else I said still stands.

0:47:58 > 0:48:01We're taking Lawrence Howards into theatre now.

0:48:01 > 0:48:04We're taking out that bullet, patching his leg

0:48:04 > 0:48:05and sending him on his way.

0:48:05 > 0:48:07What if he sues?

0:48:07 > 0:48:08He's welcome to try.

0:48:10 > 0:48:12I'm sorry about being angry before.

0:48:12 > 0:48:15It's OK. I knew you'd understand.

0:48:16 > 0:48:18Yeah, I understand.

0:48:23 > 0:48:24It's time.

0:48:24 > 0:48:26To do what?

0:48:26 > 0:48:27Move on.

0:48:27 > 0:48:31The decision about the surgery is totally down to you.

0:48:31 > 0:48:33But I want a life. My life. It's been three years.

0:48:33 > 0:48:35I've given enough to you.

0:48:35 > 0:48:38So, whatever choice you make, when you come back -

0:48:38 > 0:48:41if you come back - I want you to move out.

0:48:41 > 0:48:44Where am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to do?

0:48:44 > 0:48:45Live.

0:48:47 > 0:48:51Get a life. That's what I intend to do.

0:48:51 > 0:48:55Mr Howards, we're taking you into theatre now.

0:48:55 > 0:48:59We are removing the bullet and fixing your leg.

0:48:59 > 0:49:02Feel free not to use it, and feel free to sue me.

0:49:14 > 0:49:17That's the stuff, you're doing beautifully.

0:49:34 > 0:49:36I'm sorry. You were right.

0:49:36 > 0:49:39You don't have to be sorry for anything.

0:49:42 > 0:49:44Nicole, you really can't be here.

0:49:44 > 0:49:46That's her.

0:49:46 > 0:49:48That's the girl?

0:49:49 > 0:49:51Yeah.

0:50:01 > 0:50:02It's OK.

0:50:05 > 0:50:10Nicole, this is Hattie. Hattie, this is Nicole Moss...

0:50:12 > 0:50:16Thank you. I can't thank you, and your daughter...

0:50:16 > 0:50:20Poppy. Her name was Poppy.

0:50:25 > 0:50:28No. It's my mess.

0:50:44 > 0:50:49I know I said earlier that the system's flawed. And it is.

0:50:49 > 0:50:51But it's there for a reason -

0:50:51 > 0:50:54to stop this, what you're going through.

0:50:56 > 0:51:00I broke the rules. I'm so sorry.

0:51:00 > 0:51:03- I don't expect you to forgive me. - Is she going to live? That girl?

0:51:03 > 0:51:04Hattie?

0:51:05 > 0:51:08- Did it work?- Yeah, it did.

0:51:11 > 0:51:14I'm so sorry you had to see that.

0:51:14 > 0:51:16I can't imagine what you're feeling.

0:51:16 > 0:51:18You know what I couldn't stop thinking?

0:51:21 > 0:51:27That this is what Poppy wanted. This is what she wanted.

0:51:29 > 0:51:30And looking at her...

0:51:32 > 0:51:34..it was all worth it.

0:51:39 > 0:51:42SHE WAILS

0:51:42 > 0:51:43I'm so sorry.

0:51:51 > 0:51:53SHE WAILS

0:52:00 > 0:52:02Got something for you.

0:52:02 > 0:52:05Souvenir. One bullet.

0:52:08 > 0:52:10I suppose you've heard the story?

0:52:10 > 0:52:13Yeah, there's a pretty good grapevine round here.

0:52:17 > 0:52:22I don't understand. Why on Earth wouldn't you want to walk again?

0:52:24 > 0:52:26Nothing to walk for.

0:52:26 > 0:52:28It's a big world out there, Mr Howards.

0:52:28 > 0:52:30Not a world I want any part of.

0:52:31 > 0:52:33It's easier that way.

0:52:34 > 0:52:37Easier to...opt out.

0:52:37 > 0:52:38I don't believe in giving up.

0:52:38 > 0:52:40I haven't given up.

0:52:43 > 0:52:44Some wounds never heal.

0:52:50 > 0:52:52I miss "Monny".

0:52:52 > 0:52:53"Monny"?

0:52:53 > 0:52:56Us. It's a contraction of Mo and Jonny.

0:52:56 > 0:52:59I'm familiar with the convention, I've just never heard you use it.

0:52:59 > 0:53:01Yeah, it was Sacha's idea.

0:53:01 > 0:53:02I know it's a bit lame, but...

0:53:04 > 0:53:06We're still us. We're still "Monny".

0:53:06 > 0:53:08Nope. We're not.

0:53:09 > 0:53:11Look, if this is about today...

0:53:11 > 0:53:13It's not about today.

0:53:13 > 0:53:16It's "Jac" now. Jonny and Jac.

0:53:16 > 0:53:19"Janny!" You see - it all fits.

0:53:19 > 0:53:21We're not even together.

0:53:21 > 0:53:22We'll see...

0:53:23 > 0:53:25Jonny Mac?

0:53:25 > 0:53:27- Yep?- Thank you.

0:53:27 > 0:53:28What for?

0:53:28 > 0:53:30Everything.

0:53:33 > 0:53:35Just checking - Hattie OK?

0:53:35 > 0:53:36More than OK. Thank you.

0:53:36 > 0:53:38It's my job.

0:53:38 > 0:53:41Speaking of which, do you and I need to talk?

0:53:41 > 0:53:43Nah. I'm good.

0:54:05 > 0:54:08What on Earth are you doing?

0:54:08 > 0:54:11Don't worry about it, Serena, it's called looking cool.

0:54:11 > 0:54:13You look ridiculous.

0:54:15 > 0:54:18Primary defence is a good idea, Serena.

0:54:20 > 0:54:22OK. I'll look into it.

0:54:25 > 0:54:29Well, if you hurry, you can still catch the end of Edward's speech.

0:54:29 > 0:54:31Yes, I'd need to be very drunk to enjoy that.

0:54:32 > 0:54:34Join me?

0:54:34 > 0:54:35Thank you.

0:54:37 > 0:54:39I have a confession to make.

0:54:41 > 0:54:44I told Edward you were my plus one.

0:54:44 > 0:54:47Yes, I know. He told me.

0:54:47 > 0:54:51He congratulated me - told me what a lucky guy I was.

0:54:51 > 0:54:54Oh, dear. Sorry. What did you say?

0:54:56 > 0:54:57I played along.

0:54:57 > 0:55:01I figured it was the right thing to do under the circumstances.

0:55:01 > 0:55:04Well, that was incredibly gallant of you, Ric.

0:55:04 > 0:55:05Thank you.

0:55:05 > 0:55:10Though part of you must be enjoying every moment of my humiliation.

0:55:10 > 0:55:12Yes. Quite a large part, actually.

0:55:13 > 0:55:16Edward must be some sort of guy to make a woman

0:55:16 > 0:55:20as formidable as you act in such crazy way as you did today.

0:55:20 > 0:55:21Oh, yes. He's that all right.

0:55:21 > 0:55:25He's like a scab that never quite heals.

0:55:25 > 0:55:26To old wounds.

0:55:27 > 0:55:29Actually...

0:55:29 > 0:55:33Mr Griffin, would you do me the honour of accompanying me to a dinner?

0:55:34 > 0:55:35It's not a trap.

0:55:36 > 0:55:38It's not a date, is it?

0:55:38 > 0:55:39God, no.

0:55:42 > 0:55:45All right, I better get my frock.

0:55:57 > 0:55:59Sacha.

0:56:00 > 0:56:01You're not happy.

0:56:02 > 0:56:06No. Please, can we talk in here?

0:56:06 > 0:56:08Listen...

0:56:10 > 0:56:11I lied to you...

0:56:12 > 0:56:15..about Daniel, and that was wrong.

0:56:17 > 0:56:20But we haven't been good for a long while now. Have we?

0:56:21 > 0:56:24When was the last time that we were really happy?

0:56:26 > 0:56:28At the same time, I mean.

0:56:31 > 0:56:32Sacha...

0:56:32 > 0:56:35I love you,

0:56:35 > 0:56:37and I think you love me too...

0:56:39 > 0:56:40I do.

0:56:46 > 0:56:49I can't give you what you need.

0:56:51 > 0:56:52I can't make you happy.

0:56:54 > 0:56:57And if you're not, then I can't be.

0:57:00 > 0:57:05I'm going to collect Daniel from the creche. I'm going to take him home.

0:57:06 > 0:57:08And then when you get home,

0:57:08 > 0:57:11I'm going to pack a bag and go and stay at Mum's.

0:57:14 > 0:57:16Are you leaving me?

0:57:20 > 0:57:21We're separating.

0:57:23 > 0:57:27It's the only way it'll work. For us. For Daniel.

0:57:30 > 0:57:33We deserve so much better, Chrissie. All of us.

0:57:35 > 0:57:36OK.

0:57:39 > 0:57:40OK, I just need to...

0:57:40 > 0:57:44Listen, just take your time, OK? I'll be with Daniel.

0:57:54 > 0:57:55How is she?

0:58:02 > 0:58:03Sarah?

0:58:06 > 0:58:08She's scared.

0:58:08 > 0:58:10Is she going to be OK?

0:58:12 > 0:58:15I hope so.

0:58:15 > 0:58:17Yeah, me too.

0:58:20 > 0:58:22Goodbye, Sacha.

0:58:37 > 0:58:39Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd