0:00:12 > 0:00:14You! Another beer.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17This one taste like monkey sweat.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19Please!
0:00:19 > 0:00:21What?! You lecture ME in manners?
0:00:21 > 0:00:24You, dressed like prostitute!
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Eh! It's six o'clock in the morning. I want my breakfast.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Can we just get on with the game, please?
0:00:30 > 0:00:34Come on, then, little boy, make your bloody move.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Yeah, all right.
0:00:44 > 0:00:45I'll call you five grand.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Let's see what you got.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Hang on a minute. I've been looking at you all night.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15I'm flattered. You're not really my type, love.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Trying to work out why I knew your face, and it's just come to me.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Oh, yeah?
0:01:20 > 0:01:22I think you're Kennedy.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25The card counter. I think you're Sean Kennedy.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28Security!
0:01:34 > 0:01:36ALARM
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Argh!
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Kensington.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Stop!
0:01:56 > 0:02:00When WILL you be free? I need to cash these chips. I can't exactly go back in the casino.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Well, well, well, what have we here!
0:02:02 > 0:02:04I'll call you back.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Five bloody grand you took off me.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10I want my money, you cheating pig, or I call the police!
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Look, OK, OK, OK.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Look, mate, that's only fair, all right?
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Five grand, yeah?
0:02:17 > 0:02:19There you go. Sorry about that.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23You want to cash the chips?
0:02:26 > 0:02:27I'll do it.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- I'll give you cash for them, right now.- How much?
0:02:32 > 0:02:34How much you got in there?
0:02:34 > 0:02:36About 40K's worth.
0:02:36 > 0:02:37I'll give you ten.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39LAUGHS You're having a laugh, mate!
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- 15.- No chance...
0:02:41 > 0:02:4520, final offer. 20 grand cash, right now.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49You make a bit, I make a bit. What's not to like?
0:02:49 > 0:02:50What's not to like?
0:02:52 > 0:02:54I'd like to cash these, please.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57- Is this a joke?- What?
0:02:57 > 0:02:59I'm not cashing these.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01What do you mean you're not cashing them? Why?
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Well why d'you think? They're fake.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Obviously they're fake.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11I think you're Kennedy.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14The card counter. I think you're Sean Kennedy.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15Security!
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Kensington.
0:03:30 > 0:03:3220 grand cash, right now.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37You make a bit, I make a bit. What's not to like?
0:03:38 > 0:03:40What's not to like?
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Argh!
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Listen, cheers, Caz. You played an absolute blinder as usual.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55- Thanks, babe. Really sweet of you, that.- Sure we can't give you a lift anywhere?
0:03:55 > 0:03:58No thanks, Ash. Not feeling too clever, to be honest.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00I could do with a bit of a walk and some fresh...
0:04:00 > 0:04:02- Whoa...- Ooh!
0:04:06 > 0:04:07Ambulance.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55You're going to be fine, love.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Tough as old boots, you are. - Less of the "old".
0:04:58 > 0:05:01- Yeah, well, you know what I mean. - I don't want to die, Ash.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Hey, hey, hey, hey! No-one's doing any dying.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Besides, there's a queue. And Albert's first.
0:05:08 > 0:05:09Charming!
0:05:10 > 0:05:12You're going to be fine, yeah?
0:05:12 > 0:05:14I'll come back with a bunch of grapes.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20- Are you next of kin?- Well, as good as. There's no-one else.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24Your friend's had a very serious heart attack and she'll be in for quite a while.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Now, she's going to need some stuff from home.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31- Is there any way you'll be able to sort that out?- Yeah, yeah, yeah, consider it done.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34Heart attack?
0:05:36 > 0:05:39All right, thanks for letting me know, Sandra.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Yeah, I know it couldn't have been an easy call.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Right, thanks again. Bye-bye.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47Poor old girl.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52I'll have a whiskey, Eddie, large one.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55I know how you feel, mate. I might join you there.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Very upsetting news.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- You already heard? - Yeah, Ash phoned me.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Well, I suppose it wasn't a surprise to anyone.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06She just went down like a sack of potatoes.
0:06:06 > 0:06:07It's awful.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10In the end, they had no option but to put her down.
0:06:13 > 0:06:14They shot Carol?
0:06:14 > 0:06:18No! El Matador, at 10.30 at Chepstow.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21I'm talking about Carol.
0:06:21 > 0:06:26Oh! Carol is recovering in the hospital. And unless the NHS is in more trouble than I thought,
0:06:26 > 0:06:29I don't believe they're planning on murdering her.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Right. Good, cos...
0:06:31 > 0:06:34yeah, she's er... She's a... She's a lovely lady, Carol.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Remember the Downing Street switch?
0:06:37 > 0:06:40- What, THAT was Carol?- Uh-huh. Yeah.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42- And the London Eye float.- Yeah?
0:06:42 > 0:06:44The bearer bond scam of 2000. All hers.
0:06:44 > 0:06:49She even... She even took Mad Frankie Fraser for ten quid when she was five years old.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51(No!)
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Yeah, in her day...
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Carol was one of the best.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58So there's no fella on the scene, then?
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Not if this is anything to go by.
0:07:00 > 0:07:05- Whoa! Now that is what I call comfort food.- No wonder she's not well.
0:07:11 > 0:07:12What the hell...
0:07:13 > 0:07:17"Eat Yourself Slender"? Now, this I've got to see.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24'Hey, I'm Dr Dean Deville,
0:07:24 > 0:07:27'and I'm here today to tell you about the EYS plan -
0:07:27 > 0:07:30'the diet plan that has taken the slimming world by storm.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34'Eat Yourself Slender is the diet plan that allows you
0:07:34 > 0:07:36'to live the lifestyle you deserve
0:07:36 > 0:07:39'while simultaneously helping you to lose weight.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41'How's that possible?
0:07:41 > 0:07:44'Simple! By understanding how metabolism really works.
0:07:44 > 0:07:49'For the last five years, I have worked with a team of top nutritionists across the globe,
0:07:49 > 0:07:55'and what I've learned has turned the science of weight loss on its head.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57'Now it's time to share that with you in the UK.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59'There are four types of fat.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01'Good fat, bad fat, thin fat and fat fat.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05'The Eat Yourself Slender plan allows you to eat all the good thin fat you like,
0:08:05 > 0:08:09'whilst at the same time reducing your bad fat fat.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11'This is Ray.
0:08:11 > 0:08:12'Look at him before.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14'And look at him now!
0:08:14 > 0:08:18'He has lost 22 stone by eating what he wants to eat
0:08:18 > 0:08:20'on the Eat Yourself Slender plan.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22'Gail used to be repulsive
0:08:22 > 0:08:26'but six months on the Eat Yourself Slender plan...
0:08:26 > 0:08:29'and Gail's got the figure she always wanted.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30'So, don't delay.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33'For only £99.99 a month, you too can be part
0:08:33 > 0:08:35'of the Eat Yourself Slender plan.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37'Be the person you always wanted to be.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39'The Eat Yourself Slender plan.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43'Because the rest of your life starts today.'
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Carol had been on the diet for six months.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52She was nine and a half stone when she started,
0:08:52 > 0:08:55- 13 when admitted to hospital this morning.- And if you read these, you can see why.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59It is a recipe for heart disease, high blood pressure, raised cholesterol.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01It'd be funny if it wasn't so dangerous.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05Meanwhile, Dr Dean Deville and his wife and business partner Dana
0:09:05 > 0:09:08have gained quite a few pounds over the last few years.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Yeah, over ten million of them, according to Companies House.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Please tell me we think they can afford to shed a few.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17They sold Carol a diet plan that nearly killed her.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20I think we should take them for everything we can.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22- Yeah, definitely.- Oh, yes.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24OK. Good. So, who are they?
0:09:24 > 0:09:28Albert - history. Where did they come from and why did they leave America?
0:09:28 > 0:09:32- Emma, check out their business interests and anything else they may be involved in.- Mm-hm.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Sean, check out the science. Their labs and qualifications.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38I'll do hobbies and personal interests.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Ash, the legal implications. How the hell do they manage to keep selling a product
0:09:42 > 0:09:45that is clearly so dangerous. Right? Let's do this.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47'I'm Dr Dean Deville... Dr Dean Deville...
0:09:47 > 0:09:51'I'm Dr Dean Deville, and I'm here today to tell you about the EYS plan.'
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Dean and Dana Deville. Oh, these guys are pros.
0:09:54 > 0:09:58They've been doing what they've been doing in one form or another over the years.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01They always manage to stay just one step ahead of the law.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05'With Pro-Butrimol-F and active vita-beta-retinal 5 action,
0:10:05 > 0:10:08'this is probably the best vitamin in the world ever, ever.'
0:10:08 > 0:10:11In 2005, they moved onto the internet
0:10:11 > 0:10:14and became the king and queen of the infomercial.
0:10:14 > 0:10:19'Just £9.99 is all it'll cost to end the pain of arthritis forever, forever.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24'And say goodbye to swine flu misery with Pig-U-Go.'
0:10:36 > 0:10:39There's no evidence to suggest any products they sell
0:10:39 > 0:10:41have had scientific testing.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44And as far as qualifications are concerned, well,
0:10:44 > 0:10:47they're from a mail order place in Tupelo.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Dr Pepper is more qualified than these two.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53They circumvent any legal issues arising from this by selling them
0:10:53 > 0:10:57as health supplements and like Albert said, always just getting away with it.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Last year, they made profits of over £2 million
0:11:00 > 0:11:03getting away with it. Most of it's invested in art purchases
0:11:03 > 0:11:06which they store in safety deposits,
0:11:06 > 0:11:09to sell for profit at a later date.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11It looks like they have an interest in art,
0:11:11 > 0:11:14but it's done purely for financial gain.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17So I think it's pretty clear that the accumulation of money
0:11:17 > 0:11:22is their main hobby, but what's their weakness?
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- Arrogance. They think they're untouchable.- Yes.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27But the UK's much more strictly regulated than the States -
0:11:27 > 0:11:34it must be getting harder for them to stay ahead of the authorities. So, if you were them,
0:11:34 > 0:11:37wouldn't you be looking for a way out now?
0:11:37 > 0:11:40A way to find the big one, the ultimate, that one last
0:11:40 > 0:11:43legitimate product that would allow you to retire?
0:11:43 > 0:11:47- So that's what we offer them?- Yes. And we use their arrogance,
0:11:47 > 0:11:51this feeling they can do anything, to blind them to what we're doing.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53So what's the actual con?
0:11:53 > 0:11:55We are going to sell them
0:11:55 > 0:12:00- a genuine wonder product that will make them billions.- Which is?
0:12:00 > 0:12:04- MOCK AMERICAN ACCENT:- The best diet drug in the world ever!
0:12:04 > 0:12:06All right, so what's the convincer?
0:12:06 > 0:12:11Yes, these people are scammers themselves. And pretty good ones.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14They'll spot an ordinary convincer a mile off.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18So in order to outsmart them, we'll have to be very clever.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Who's heard of the Montagne scam?
0:12:20 > 0:12:22The guy that stole the Venus de Milo.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Yeah, and more importantly, sold it again.
0:12:25 > 0:12:30So, our convincer, we are going to sell the Devilles this.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32The Lucien egg, one of a pair of Faberge eggs,
0:12:32 > 0:12:36and this one is currently residing at the Tenguiz Gallery.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- Who owns the other one? - The Devilles do.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43The eggs together are worth much more than the sum of their parts,
0:12:43 > 0:12:47so unsurprisingly, the Devilles have made repeated attempts
0:12:47 > 0:12:52to buy the Lucien egg, but Josh Tenguiz simply isn't interested.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55They also tried to sell him their egg at a grossly inflated amount
0:12:55 > 0:12:58- but still, no deal.- So?
0:12:58 > 0:13:02A few years ago, the Devilles were interviewed by police in connection to the purchase
0:13:02 > 0:13:04and profitable sale of some stolen artwork.
0:13:04 > 0:13:08They claimed they did it in good faith and there were no charges.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11I think the jury's still out on that one but I think it's safe
0:13:11 > 0:13:15to say these people would stop at nothing to snaffle up a bargain.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19So Emma, Sean, I want you to check out security at the Tenguiz Gallery.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23Ash, we'll go and see an old friend of mine. Albert, Dali Macmanus.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27Wherever he is, whoever he is these days, I need you to find him.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31And one last thing... We can't rush this.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34To draw these people in successfully, we need time,
0:13:34 > 0:13:39so be patient and remember that revenge is a dish best served cold.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Freddy the Face, long time no see.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Hello? No, I can't talk right now.
0:13:49 > 0:13:54No, I'm going into the gallery. No, I should be quick.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56OK, hold on...
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Cheers, darling.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25- Well, I'm done, you ready? - Yeah, let's do it.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50Oh, my goodness. Excuse me, somebody! This is something bad here!
0:14:50 > 0:14:53There's something bad here in this bag.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Evacuate the gallery as quickly as possible!
0:15:00 > 0:15:01Come on!
0:15:05 > 0:15:07ALARM RINGS
0:15:35 > 0:15:39- If we're thinking of trying to steal this egg, we're in trouble.- Why?
0:15:39 > 0:15:44Every exhibit in this gallery is coated with an invisible chemical
0:15:44 > 0:15:47which reacts to an infra red light if taken through any
0:15:47 > 0:15:50of the 56 internal doors and sets off the alarms.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54- Basically, we're buggered. - We're buggered.
0:15:54 > 0:15:55Excellent.
0:15:55 > 0:15:56DOOR BUZZER GOES
0:15:56 > 0:15:59That'll be the pizza. Could you get that please, Sean?
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Yeah, don't worry about it, I'll get it.
0:16:04 > 0:16:05Just push the door mate.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14Oh, my gawd, I'm gonna have a bleedin' 'eart attack!
0:16:14 > 0:16:16What's the matter, lift broken?
0:16:16 > 0:16:20Nah, it's not the lifts mate, no, I'm just a fat git.
0:16:20 > 0:16:24Glutton dressed as glam. What d'you think?
0:16:30 > 0:16:33Oh, my God!
0:16:33 > 0:16:36So over the whole time we set up the convincer,
0:16:36 > 0:16:39me and Mickey will be in weekly contact with the Devilles.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43But each time we meet, Freddy the Face will have fitted me with a smaller fat suit.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47So by the time the convincer's over, I'll appear to have lost six stone
0:16:47 > 0:16:50in as many weeks and they will want to know how.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57- What?- It's scary how well you carry it off.
0:16:57 > 0:17:02Yeah. Sure you don't want a bit of salad now?
0:17:09 > 0:17:12PHONE RINGS
0:17:12 > 0:17:15- Hey, Em.- The Devilles are attending an art launch at three.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18- Oh, that's fine. We'll see you there.- Bye.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Do you think we can make some money out of this one?
0:17:25 > 0:17:28You never know.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36- Another glass?- It's free. Of course.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45- Five seconds.- Got it.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47It's Balloon Cat, Mr Branson, yes,
0:17:47 > 0:17:50and Jeff Koons is hotter than ever right now.
0:17:50 > 0:17:55I think it's a steal at half a million, if you'll pardon the pun.
0:17:55 > 0:18:00A painting like that would be worth ten times that at auction.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Yeah, I can talk to you later. OK, bye.
0:18:14 > 0:18:19- Excuse me, did we meet? - I don't think so.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Dana Deville, Doctor.
0:18:21 > 0:18:22Danny Mullen, dealer.
0:18:22 > 0:18:27Oh, you're a dealer? You got a card? My husband and I are always on the lookout for exciting new pieces.
0:18:27 > 0:18:32I think I may have one. Here, there we go.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36"If you don't ask, you don't get".
0:18:36 > 0:18:39- And what does that mean? - Exactly what it says.
0:18:39 > 0:18:45On the face of it, some pieces may seem tricky to source.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49But I say, I definitely can't help you if you don't ask.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51But if you do ask, you get?
0:18:51 > 0:18:53I haven't failed yet.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55What, ever?
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Nope.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01What if I asked you for something that wasn't even for sale?
0:19:01 > 0:19:04As I said, I haven't failed yet.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08- Did she bite? - I don't know.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- The Koons that was stolen from Madrid last month?- The what?
0:19:13 > 0:19:14The Koons, from L'Escuela.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17It was an early one, worth maybe a million.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26Well, I think that might just have been the man who stole it.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39Then there was Jessica, my uncle's missus,
0:19:39 > 0:19:42she was fit as a fiddle.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Bang, massive heart attack - dead before she hit the ground.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Oh.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52You know, erm, it's really nice of you to come and see me, Eddie.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54I hope you don't think I'm being rude
0:19:54 > 0:19:57but do you think there's any way we can talk about something
0:19:57 > 0:20:00other than premature death from coronary heart disease?
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Oh. Oh, 'course. Sorry.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Stupid of me. I'm sorry, Carol.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16How about deaths from cancer?
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Same, really. Yeah.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Go on then, what's your favourite?
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Hey, now you're talking.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41You know when I was a little girl, it was the pink donuts, deffo,
0:20:41 > 0:20:45but you know when you get a bit older, it's the blue ones you like...
0:20:48 > 0:20:52Well, this man's clearly a player in the art world.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Clearly.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57OK, hand me his card.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59We're going to have to meet.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02And I said, "Belushi, you keep taking that crap,
0:21:02 > 0:21:03"it ain't gonna do you no good."
0:21:03 > 0:21:07The very next day, he was dead,
0:21:07 > 0:21:10and I took that as a sign.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14- What sort of a sign?- Primarily that he was sicker than I thought.
0:21:16 > 0:21:22And also that I had a gift and it was my duty to share that gift
0:21:22 > 0:21:27and bring wellbeing and healing and happiness to others.
0:21:27 > 0:21:28And that's when you joined the CIA?
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Five years black ops and the extraordinary thing is that...
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Oh, enough of you, my sweet!
0:21:33 > 0:21:35I think our guest is a very busy man so
0:21:35 > 0:21:37let's cut to the chase, shall we?
0:21:37 > 0:21:40All right. Fine by me.
0:21:40 > 0:21:44Mr Mullen, have you heard of a Faberge egg called the Laurentian?
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Hmm... 19th century, it's not really my speciality.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Well, we own it, it's one of a pair.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55The other's called the Lucien Egg and it's in the Tenguiz Gallery.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Now they were conceived as a pair, they were made as a pair.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02And I'd imagine worth a whole lot more as a pair.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05Great minds, Mr Mullen, great minds.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09Except that we've approached the owner on a number of occasions
0:22:09 > 0:22:11to buy the egg and he refuses.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Drivels on about its aesthetic beauty,
0:22:14 > 0:22:17how it makes him feel alive just to hold it
0:22:17 > 0:22:19and we've run out of patience now.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24And so, as requested, we've got four words for you, Mullens.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Four simple words that require one simple answer.
0:22:27 > 0:22:32Can. You. Acquire. The...
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Sorry, five words.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Can you get us the egg?
0:22:37 > 0:22:43Well, if we already know that Tenguiz won't sell it to you,
0:22:43 > 0:22:47there really is only one way of obtaining it.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Indeed.
0:22:52 > 0:22:53OK.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56As I say, this isn't really my area,
0:22:56 > 0:23:00so I'm guessing that each egg on its own is worth
0:23:00 > 0:23:03maybe a quarter of a million?
0:23:03 > 0:23:07As a pair, maybe three quarters?
0:23:07 > 0:23:10The Tenguiz is a very secure gallery. It would take organising,
0:23:10 > 0:23:15which is expensive. I have a team of trusted experts I always use.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20I'd want 50K, cash on delivery.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Do you know who we are, Mr Mullen?
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Of course, I always do my research.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Then you'll know we're successful business people,
0:23:28 > 0:23:31who did not get where they are by being taken for fools.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34And believe me, I have serious respect for that.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37But I'd need to know you trust me or this won't work at all.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40Now, excuse me, I'm late for my next meeting.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42We're not saying we don't trust you.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46OK, how's this? I'll involve you in the planning.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49But this will take some time to organise.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53So, we'll have regular briefings, updates, at yours, at mine,
0:23:53 > 0:23:54wherever you want.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58If you don't like something and you have a better idea, we'll change it.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00What do you think?
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Weekly briefings. You'll thank us for our input.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Then I think we have a deal.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13I think we do.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19You won't regret it. I'll be in touch.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24What time do you call this?
0:24:24 > 0:24:26I'm sorry but I got held up.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27Stop with the excuses.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39Three quarters of a mil? More like two.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Nearly £2 million profit!
0:24:41 > 0:24:45The best art theft deal in the world. Ever!
0:24:48 > 0:24:50'There are four types of fat.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53'Good fat, bad fat, thin fat and fat fat.'
0:24:53 > 0:24:57When setting up the convincer, Ash and I will be in weekly contact
0:24:57 > 0:24:59with the Devilles, but when we meet them,
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Freddy The Face will have fitted Ash with a smaller fat suit.
0:25:02 > 0:25:07So by the time the convincer is over, he'll appear to have lost six stone in as many weeks.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10'I'm Doctor Dean Deville, I'm Doctor Dean Deville,
0:25:10 > 0:25:13'and I'm here to tell you about the EYS plan.'
0:25:13 > 0:25:15The stakes are high.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Breaking into The Tenguiz Gallery to get the egg is a tall order.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23OK, that's how you get in.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33'You, too, can be part of the Eat Yourself Slender Plan.'
0:25:33 > 0:25:36So, the chemical the objects are sprayed with
0:25:36 > 0:25:38is called Aceto-Styteline.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42It reacts with the infra-red on the doors and sets the alarms off.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46But if you subject Styteline to a 15-nanosecond blast of black light...
0:25:46 > 0:25:49..It temporarily changes its refractive index.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04SHE GASPS
0:26:07 > 0:26:11'The Eat Yourself Slender Plan lets you eat the good, thin fat you like,
0:26:11 > 0:26:14'whilst at the same time reducing your bad fat fat.'
0:26:17 > 0:26:18See you soon.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20THEY LAUGH
0:26:24 > 0:26:27I got to change my lens prescription.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Through the ducts is the best way to get in.
0:26:34 > 0:26:35HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Er, sorry, here are the, er...
0:26:37 > 0:26:41Ah, good. Good. Now, this is what we were missing.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43'The Eat Yourself Slender Plan!
0:26:43 > 0:26:46'Because the rest of your life starts today.'
0:26:49 > 0:26:52- You sure you're ready for the break-in?- Yeah. 100%.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55See you at the penthouse tomorrow, eight o'clock, sharp.
0:26:55 > 0:26:56We'll supply the popcorn.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18My team should be arriving at the gallery now.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21They know this has to go like clockwork.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23- There you go.- Thank you.
0:27:23 > 0:27:24- Champagne?- Thanks.
0:27:24 > 0:27:25Please, have a seat.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30Sailing bloody close to the wind, bringing them in here.
0:27:30 > 0:27:34The nearer we draw them to us, the more they'll trust us. According to Mickey.
0:27:51 > 0:27:56Ah, this is Claude. He takes care of all our security concerns.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59Ah, the old "in and out" guy, huh?
0:28:05 > 0:28:08OK, we're in.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20There they are.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56Right.
0:29:08 > 0:29:11OK. Let's do it.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32OK, I'm here.
0:29:32 > 0:29:36OK, cameras 19 and 24 will freeze when I press enter.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39But the system's on an automatic reboot every three minutes,
0:29:39 > 0:29:41which I can't override.
0:29:41 > 0:29:45'So, you have exactly 180 seconds from when I say, OK?'
0:29:46 > 0:29:49And, go!
0:30:28 > 0:30:31Here comes the black light now.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11Come on, come on.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13How much longer does he have?
0:31:13 > 0:31:1545 seconds. Come on, fella, come on.
0:31:32 > 0:31:34Now the moment of truth.
0:31:34 > 0:31:37The black light should block the security alarm.
0:31:42 > 0:31:45Wow. Ha! It actually worked.
0:31:45 > 0:31:46What did I say?
0:31:46 > 0:31:48Come on, Sean.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52Eight, seven...
0:31:52 > 0:31:59Six, five, four, three, two, one.
0:32:03 > 0:32:04Uh! Ha!
0:32:06 > 0:32:08Nice one!
0:32:13 > 0:32:18So, give us 24 hours, let the dust settle, and we'll meet up tomorrow.
0:32:18 > 0:32:21- You know, Mullen, Bill Clinton once said to me...- Shut up, Dean.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23- No, Bill never said that. - Goodnight, Mr Mullen.
0:32:23 > 0:32:24Goodnight!
0:32:32 > 0:32:34Softly, softly.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19I bet you haven't seen one this big before.
0:33:19 > 0:33:23I don't think I have. And what a funny colour, innit, it's just...
0:33:23 > 0:33:25Can I have a quick word please, sir?
0:33:25 > 0:33:26Yeah, sure, yeah.
0:33:29 > 0:33:30You like Carol, don't you?
0:33:30 > 0:33:32Yeah, well, I do a bit, yeah. Y'know.
0:33:32 > 0:33:36She'll be ready to leave in a few days. And she'll need someone.
0:33:36 > 0:33:37To help her change her lifestyle,
0:33:37 > 0:33:40to help her lose weight and get fit again.
0:33:40 > 0:33:43And I was just wondering that, if you did it together
0:33:43 > 0:33:47you might find that you wouldn't need all the cakes and the sweets and...
0:33:58 > 0:34:01As you can see, it's got a time and a date on it.
0:34:01 > 0:34:04So I'm hoping that'll reveal who paid for five coffees,
0:34:04 > 0:34:08four flapjacks and a croissant here, Thursday last.
0:34:11 > 0:34:12Beautiful, isn't it?
0:34:14 > 0:34:18I think you and I could do a lot more business together, Mr Mullen.
0:34:18 > 0:34:19I very much hope so.
0:34:19 > 0:34:22We will most definitely be in touch.
0:34:22 > 0:34:23Oh, and remember....
0:34:23 > 0:34:26TOGETHER: "If you don't ask..."
0:34:26 > 0:34:27THEY LAUGH
0:34:48 > 0:34:51What do you feed your staff on, Mr Mullen?
0:34:51 > 0:34:53I'm sorry?
0:34:53 > 0:34:56Buddy, you're either on a hell of a diet or you have terminal cancer.
0:34:56 > 0:34:58Oh. You're right. He has lost some weight.
0:34:58 > 0:34:59Six stone, actually.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01- What did you say?- In as many weeks.
0:35:01 > 0:35:06Six stone in six weeks? How?
0:35:06 > 0:35:08- Oh, no, that's private. - Oh. Don't be like that.
0:35:08 > 0:35:11You wouldn't want to make little Dana cross, would you?
0:35:11 > 0:35:13Weight loss is our business.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16It's a new diet drink.
0:35:16 > 0:35:17A diet drink?
0:35:17 > 0:35:19Yeah. Just one spoonful, and bingo.
0:35:19 > 0:35:22What diet drink? Where did you get it, this diet drink?
0:35:22 > 0:35:26How come I haven't heard about this new diet drink?
0:35:26 > 0:35:30Tell me, or you'll be losing a couple more ounces right here.
0:35:30 > 0:35:32Cos it's not for sale.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35Er, cos it's still being tested.
0:35:35 > 0:35:39Cos I sort of...nicked it.
0:35:41 > 0:35:46My missus works as a lab assistant for Spitz-Kleinman.
0:35:46 > 0:35:48They're a pharmaceutical company.
0:35:48 > 0:35:49We know who they are.
0:35:49 > 0:35:53Yeah, and occasionally she'd bring some of her work home with her.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56Anyway, she was talking about this new weight-loss product
0:35:56 > 0:36:00they'd been testing on rats, called, er, Reducio.
0:36:00 > 0:36:03It had been a bit of a disappointment, she said,
0:36:03 > 0:36:10so...she bought a few bottles of it home to do some more work on and...
0:36:10 > 0:36:14It's OK, Phillips, we won't tell anyone. Go on.
0:36:14 > 0:36:16Well, I just borrowed a bottle.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19I've always struggled with me weight
0:36:19 > 0:36:22and, well, I wanted to see if this was the one, you know,
0:36:22 > 0:36:25the one diet product that actually worked.
0:36:25 > 0:36:27And boy, did it?
0:36:27 > 0:36:29Yeah, just one spoonful a day.
0:36:29 > 0:36:31You know, you can still eat anything you want.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33And the fat...
0:36:34 > 0:36:36It all comes out in your pores.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38You sweat it out!
0:36:38 > 0:36:41Yeah, you sweat all the fat out!
0:36:41 > 0:36:43That is genius.
0:36:43 > 0:36:47And what did your wife say when she saw how much you'd lost?
0:36:50 > 0:36:52Well my wife didn't say anything.
0:36:52 > 0:36:54She didn't say anything? You were a freak!
0:36:54 > 0:36:58When you stood on the scales, it just said, "To be continued".
0:36:58 > 0:37:00She must have said something!
0:37:00 > 0:37:02No. No, no, cos she didn't know.
0:37:04 > 0:37:06You see, just before I took the bottle,
0:37:06 > 0:37:09she told me she was leaving me for a body-builder from Purley.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13She left that night.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15DANA GASPS
0:37:15 > 0:37:19Oh! Oh! Phillips! Excellent news!
0:37:19 > 0:37:21What!?
0:37:21 > 0:37:23That you have lost so much weight is excellent news!
0:37:23 > 0:37:25But let me just confirm one thing -
0:37:25 > 0:37:30that your wife has absolutely no idea the product worked so well for you?
0:37:30 > 0:37:33No. No, none at all. No.
0:37:33 > 0:37:37Do you know when Spitz-Kleinman were planning on starting human trials?
0:37:37 > 0:37:41Well, er, it could be a matter of months, she said.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43Or even a year.
0:37:43 > 0:37:48Do you, I mean to say, that is...
0:37:48 > 0:37:52Do you think we could have an incy-wincy little look
0:37:52 > 0:37:57at this bottle? Maurice?
0:37:58 > 0:38:02Oh, I mean, I'd love to.
0:38:02 > 0:38:03Dana.
0:38:03 > 0:38:06HE INHALES DEEPLY
0:38:07 > 0:38:10But I finished the last of it two days ago, I'm afraid.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15OK, no problem.
0:38:15 > 0:38:19Well, why don't we pop into the kitchen
0:38:19 > 0:38:23and get you some lard or refined sugars
0:38:23 > 0:38:28or whatever it is you generally like to eat,
0:38:28 > 0:38:31while we have a nice little chat with Mr Mullen?
0:38:35 > 0:38:39Do you have any idea how much a product like that could be worth?
0:38:39 > 0:38:42One that actually does what we say it does?
0:38:42 > 0:38:44We could make billions! Literally billions!
0:38:44 > 0:38:48We sell it as a health supplement, "aiding weight loss", to bypass the regs.
0:38:48 > 0:38:50And beat Spitz to the market!
0:38:50 > 0:38:53No more looking over our shoulders, no more fighting off lawsuits.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56Instead, we'd be feted, we'd be honoured!
0:38:56 > 0:38:59The Nobel Prize for services to fat!
0:38:59 > 0:39:02Arise, Sir Dean and Dana!
0:39:02 > 0:39:03Of Deville!
0:39:03 > 0:39:04THEY GASP
0:39:04 > 0:39:06Excuse me.
0:39:06 > 0:39:10Sorry to interrupt, but aren't you forgetting something?
0:39:12 > 0:39:14He used it all, remember?
0:39:14 > 0:39:17You don't actually have the drug.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19What do have is a man who successfully broke into
0:39:19 > 0:39:22one of the most secure galleries in London.
0:39:22 > 0:39:26How much harder can it be to break in to a laboratory?
0:39:26 > 0:39:27- And steal the formula?- Why not?
0:39:27 > 0:39:29HE LAUGHS
0:39:29 > 0:39:30Oh, no.
0:39:30 > 0:39:32Equal share, the three of us.
0:39:32 > 0:39:34This is big pharma. Those guys are scary.
0:39:34 > 0:39:36We pay you a flat fee, then.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39You just help us steal it, don't get involved in any of the rest.
0:39:39 > 0:39:40Sorry.
0:39:40 > 0:39:43- Same as for the egg.- Not interested.
0:39:43 > 0:39:45- 100, then.- Nope.- OK, double.
0:39:45 > 0:39:49200,000 sterling. COD.
0:39:49 > 0:39:50Then you're out.
0:39:54 > 0:39:56A quarter of a million,
0:39:56 > 0:39:58and I'll do it.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02Quarter of a million it is.
0:40:03 > 0:40:06But this time, he'll come along for the ride.
0:40:06 > 0:40:07What?!
0:40:07 > 0:40:10You want Dean to take part in the break-in?
0:40:10 > 0:40:13Just as an observer. I want to be absolutely certain
0:40:13 > 0:40:17that we're handing over a quarter of a brick for the real deal.
0:40:17 > 0:40:20- Er, sweetheart, can.... - Be quiet, Dean.- OK!
0:40:22 > 0:40:24It's your money.
0:40:24 > 0:40:27But as an observer, nothing more.
0:40:30 > 0:40:33That's a kayaking course.
0:40:33 > 0:40:36That one's rock climbing up one of them walls.
0:40:36 > 0:40:39Oh, and that's a ballroom dancing course.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41"The Merengue, the Salsa, the American Smooth."
0:40:41 > 0:40:44Blimey, just reading about them's making me hungry.
0:40:44 > 0:40:46But that's the thing, isn't it?
0:40:46 > 0:40:49Nothing wrong with having a blow-out, if you're burning off the calories.
0:40:49 > 0:40:51Yeah. I know, I know, I know.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55What? Why would you not even try it? Just one of 'em, surely.
0:40:55 > 0:41:00- And why wouldn't you? - I dunno. It's just...
0:41:00 > 0:41:01What?
0:41:02 > 0:41:05Oh, it's, going on your own, isn't it?
0:41:05 > 0:41:06It's the same for me.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08If I had someone to go with, I'd do it in a shot.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11- Would you, really?- Like a shot.
0:41:13 > 0:41:16So don't you know anyone, then, that we can ring and ask, you know, to take you?
0:41:16 > 0:41:18Yeah, I do know this one fella.
0:41:18 > 0:41:22He's a bit of a numpty, but I just think he's painfully shy.
0:41:22 > 0:41:23But I really like him
0:41:23 > 0:41:26and I'd love to spend some more time with him when I get out of here.
0:41:26 > 0:41:28Oh. OK, yeah.
0:41:28 > 0:41:30Pass us a phone, I'll give him a bell.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34Yeah, all right, there you go.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41It's ringing.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43Mine's ringing now.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47Hello?
0:41:47 > 0:41:49- Hi, is this Eddie?- Yeah, speaking.
0:41:49 > 0:41:53Hi, Eddie, it's Carol. I'd like to know, when I get out,
0:41:53 > 0:41:55will you go ballroom dancing with me?
0:41:59 > 0:42:00Hello? Anybody here?
0:42:06 > 0:42:07Service!
0:42:09 > 0:42:11Cor, disgraceful behaviour, innit?
0:42:11 > 0:42:13Just can't get the staff these days.
0:42:16 > 0:42:17So.
0:42:17 > 0:42:21All we have to do, is get in to one of their labs,
0:42:21 > 0:42:24plant the formula inside it, and get out of the lab,
0:42:24 > 0:42:27so that we can get back in again to take out what we've just put in.
0:42:27 > 0:42:29- Simple! - Ash, can you handle the data?
0:42:29 > 0:42:31I've just lost six stone,
0:42:31 > 0:42:34I am strong, I am empowered, I am beautiful.
0:42:34 > 0:42:36- Is that a yes?- Go on, then.
0:42:36 > 0:42:38Sean, we'll need some promotional stuff.
0:42:38 > 0:42:39Albert, fake IDs?
0:42:39 > 0:42:40No problem.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42Emma, we need you inside.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44Now, they're looking for domestics. Give them a call.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47And I need to work out a way to get us undisturbed access
0:42:47 > 0:42:50to a lab for an hour or so.
0:42:52 > 0:42:56The key, in jobs like this one, is to contrive a way
0:42:56 > 0:42:59to walk in through the front door, find the right lab,
0:42:59 > 0:43:02take the formula, and walk out again, calmly,
0:43:02 > 0:43:04without attracting attention.
0:43:04 > 0:43:05Here you are.
0:43:05 > 0:43:07And right now, I have a team of experts working very hard
0:43:07 > 0:43:09to make that plan work.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11Dean. You and I will be officers from
0:43:11 > 0:43:14the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence,
0:43:14 > 0:43:17come to do a spot-check on their clinical facilities.
0:43:17 > 0:43:21Once we're inside reception, we will tell security we need to inspect
0:43:21 > 0:43:24two labs, that we will need for no longer than 15 minutes.
0:43:24 > 0:43:27We'll also tell them we need those labs cleared.
0:43:27 > 0:43:31Dean, you and I will have IDs and numbers to call for verification,
0:43:31 > 0:43:35though any call they make will be diverted to one of my team.
0:43:35 > 0:43:37You've done this before.
0:43:37 > 0:43:38HE SMIRKS
0:43:38 > 0:43:42All we need to do now is find out which lab Reducio is being developed in.
0:43:42 > 0:43:44My IT experts are hacking their mainframe to find out -
0:43:44 > 0:43:48so that we know which lab we want to "randomly" check.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51Once we have that information, we're good to go.
0:44:03 > 0:44:06- Healthy lifestyle, healthy fridge. - Oh, Eddie.
0:44:08 > 0:44:10Thank you so much.
0:44:10 > 0:44:12You're such a lovely man.
0:44:31 > 0:44:34Better than a kick in the teeth...
0:44:44 > 0:44:45Sean Kennedy?
0:44:45 > 0:44:46Yeah?
0:44:46 > 0:44:47DS Rivet, Hoxton nick.
0:44:47 > 0:44:50I think we need to have a little chat.
0:44:52 > 0:44:53Oh, no.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11What the hell's happened?
0:45:11 > 0:45:14They're questioning Sean about the Tenguiz break-in.
0:45:14 > 0:45:16Seems he dropped something that IDs him.
0:45:16 > 0:45:18- Oh, my God. Is he going to blab? - No, of course not.
0:45:18 > 0:45:20What's the problem, then?
0:45:20 > 0:45:21Kid'll be out in ten,
0:45:21 > 0:45:24still got time to make something of himself.
0:45:24 > 0:45:27The problem is that the police are watching us like hawks -
0:45:27 > 0:45:30so we're not going to go ahead with the Spitz job.
0:45:30 > 0:45:33Any of us. It's suicide.
0:45:33 > 0:45:36He's right, I'm sorry, it's over.
0:45:37 > 0:45:39Wait!
0:45:39 > 0:45:40They're not watching us.
0:45:40 > 0:45:42They don't even know about us.
0:45:42 > 0:45:43And?
0:45:48 > 0:45:49Oh, no.
0:45:50 > 0:45:53You mean we do it?!
0:45:53 > 0:45:55The two of us? The break-in?
0:45:55 > 0:45:57Why not? We could wear earpieces.
0:45:57 > 0:46:00Mullen could talk us through it. What do you say, Mullen?
0:46:00 > 0:46:02- I say you're insane. - Really? How hard can it be?
0:46:02 > 0:46:06- Honey, it could... - Shut up! Come on, why not?
0:46:06 > 0:46:09We didn't learn this business overnight.
0:46:09 > 0:46:12- It takes years of experience. - You underestimate me.
0:46:12 > 0:46:15You have no idea of some of the things I've done to make money.
0:46:15 > 0:46:19We've never been beaten, never failed.
0:46:19 > 0:46:22Well, you have now. It's a crazy idea.
0:46:22 > 0:46:25Fine. Walk away from 250,000 sterling then.
0:46:25 > 0:46:27When we're so close.
0:46:27 > 0:46:30SO close!
0:46:30 > 0:46:33Come on, Mullen! We can make this work.
0:46:33 > 0:46:36Remember how good that money felt in your hands.
0:46:43 > 0:46:45OK.
0:46:45 > 0:46:48OK, but we have to move fast, while they're preoccupied with Sean.
0:46:53 > 0:46:54HE CLICKS HIS TEETH
0:46:56 > 0:47:00OK, I confess, I can't take it any longer, I did it.
0:47:00 > 0:47:02But of course you did it.
0:47:02 > 0:47:04We all know you did it.
0:47:04 > 0:47:06Yeah, I did it.
0:47:06 > 0:47:09I went to the Tenguiz gallery
0:47:09 > 0:47:12and I dropped a bit of litter on the floor.
0:47:14 > 0:47:18I wonder if you'll find it so funny standing in the dock,
0:47:18 > 0:47:20facing down a ten stretch.
0:47:23 > 0:47:24Testing, testing.
0:47:26 > 0:47:29Cor-blimey guv'nor, it's a real pea-souper, make no mistake.
0:47:29 > 0:47:32Remind me why we thought this was a good idea.
0:47:32 > 0:47:35Dean, they do have American employees.
0:47:35 > 0:47:38Cuppa Rosy-Lee, don't mind if I do! Ta very much!
0:47:38 > 0:47:41I bet Sean's more relaxed than me right now.
0:47:41 > 0:47:46Maybe this time, this time, we may have gone too far.
0:47:48 > 0:47:49Don't say a freakin' word
0:47:49 > 0:47:52or I swear I'll never do the thing with the mango again.
0:47:52 > 0:47:54Mango?
0:47:54 > 0:47:58Jessica Amwell, Paul Banstead, National Institute for Clinical Excellence.
0:47:58 > 0:48:01We're doing a lab spot-check in light of the Strep-C outbreak in Munich
0:48:01 > 0:48:05and we've selected two of your labs at random, numbers three and 14.
0:48:05 > 0:48:09'To inspect, we'll need uninterrupted access for approximately 15 minutes.
0:48:09 > 0:48:11'You will wish to confirm our IDs.'
0:48:11 > 0:48:14You can talk to our authentication department on this number.
0:48:14 > 0:48:15Thank you so much.
0:48:17 > 0:48:21MOBILE RINGS
0:48:24 > 0:48:25Good morning,
0:48:25 > 0:48:31National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence Authentication department. How can I help you?
0:48:35 > 0:48:40'Emma? They're clearing everyone out of the lab. Put the files in place.'
0:49:08 > 0:49:12We had a scientist up in Scotland last year who caught a new flesh-eating bug.
0:49:12 > 0:49:16By the time they got to him, all that was left was one thumb and an earlobe. True story!
0:49:35 > 0:49:37Not too obvious, Em.
0:49:44 > 0:49:46We're good from here, thank you.
0:49:49 > 0:49:51Mullen, we're in.
0:49:51 > 0:49:55- 'OK, now what have you got?' - Three computers, I'm on the first. Opening it up.
0:49:55 > 0:49:58'OK, I can't see anything,
0:49:58 > 0:50:00'I can't see anything.'
0:50:00 > 0:50:02What am I looking for? Facts?
0:50:02 > 0:50:04Come on, come on, come on.
0:50:04 > 0:50:07Are we 100% sure this is the right lab?
0:50:08 > 0:50:10Let me try another computer.
0:50:10 > 0:50:12OK, second computer.
0:50:13 > 0:50:14- Security?- Go ahead.
0:50:14 > 0:50:17- There's a problem at reception. - On my way.
0:50:17 > 0:50:19Come on, come on!
0:50:22 > 0:50:24Hang on.
0:50:24 > 0:50:26I got something here, too.
0:50:26 > 0:50:29Reducio Optimum 7?
0:50:29 > 0:50:31'That's it, that's it.'
0:50:31 > 0:50:33It's here, too.
0:50:34 > 0:50:36These guys have got no idea on branding.
0:50:36 > 0:50:38It should be Fat-U-Sweat.
0:50:38 > 0:50:39'Perspira-Go'.
0:50:39 > 0:50:40'Or Fatooze.'
0:50:40 > 0:50:43Guys, can we just download the file and get the hell out?
0:50:43 > 0:50:45Now?
0:50:51 > 0:50:53Right, what have you got?
0:50:53 > 0:50:55Look, this doesn't match.
0:50:55 > 0:50:57Security breach.
0:51:03 > 0:51:05We've got it!
0:51:12 > 0:51:16So near, so very, very near.
0:51:16 > 0:51:18This is a very strange sensation.
0:51:18 > 0:51:20I'm rooting for the mark.
0:51:20 > 0:51:22It's all gone weird.
0:51:22 > 0:51:25The Americans are on the third floor!
0:51:26 > 0:51:28(Try the back exit.)
0:51:33 > 0:51:36'Boys, the third floor.'
0:51:43 > 0:51:46THEY WHOOP AND HOLLER WITH DELIGHT
0:51:46 > 0:51:47Come on!
0:51:56 > 0:51:58THEY CACKLE GLEEFULLY
0:52:01 > 0:52:04'Woo! Woo!
0:52:04 > 0:52:05'Go, go, go!'
0:52:12 > 0:52:14Your money?
0:52:14 > 0:52:16My money.
0:52:16 > 0:52:20You...moron!
0:52:20 > 0:52:21You didn't seriously think
0:52:21 > 0:52:26we were going to give you a quarter of a million G's, did you?
0:52:26 > 0:52:27Why not, we had a deal?
0:52:27 > 0:52:29I'll tell you why not.
0:52:29 > 0:52:33Because we did all the hard work. That's why not.
0:52:33 > 0:52:34- I think you're being unfair. - Really?
0:52:34 > 0:52:37I did a lot of preparation behind the scenes.
0:52:37 > 0:52:39I did some work you didn't even see.
0:52:39 > 0:52:41I don't give a rat's ass what you did behind the scenes.
0:52:41 > 0:52:46We have the formula - it's being made up right now - and we don't need you any more!
0:52:46 > 0:52:48Boo-hoo-hoo!
0:52:48 > 0:52:50Seriously, what sort of idiots do you think we are?
0:52:50 > 0:52:55The sort who thought I was attaching a microphone to that brooch when actually it was a camera.
0:52:55 > 0:53:00A camera that filmed you and your husband breaking in to Spitz-Kleinman.
0:53:00 > 0:53:02Cup of Rosy-Lee, don't mind if I do, ta very much!
0:53:06 > 0:53:09The footage of which I've put on a DVD
0:53:09 > 0:53:11and have given to my assistant
0:53:11 > 0:53:14who is at this moment outside Scotland Yard
0:53:14 > 0:53:16waiting for my phone call.
0:53:16 > 0:53:18Those sorts of idiots.
0:53:19 > 0:53:22250 grand, cash, please.
0:53:22 > 0:53:24I almost feel bad.
0:53:24 > 0:53:28Yeah, cos they think that's the worst thing that's going to happen to them today.
0:53:28 > 0:53:31You know, it almost seems unfair.
0:53:31 > 0:53:33Almost!
0:53:33 > 0:53:34THEY LAUGH
0:53:34 > 0:53:36Are you sure this is the right formula?
0:53:36 > 0:53:39I stole it myself, so I think I know what I'm doing.
0:53:39 > 0:53:41Now shut up and give me the bottle!
0:53:41 > 0:53:44- I want to sweat some fat. - Yeah, me, too! Huh!
0:53:55 > 0:53:58You're definitely sweating.
0:54:03 > 0:54:04Oh, my...
0:54:10 > 0:54:12Yeah, that's what I thought.
0:54:12 > 0:54:15Cos that formula's just an emetic.
0:54:15 > 0:54:17HE STIFLES VOMITING
0:54:18 > 0:54:20A very powerful one, granted.
0:54:27 > 0:54:28HE RETCHES VIOLENTLY
0:54:28 > 0:54:30But an emetic just the same.
0:54:31 > 0:54:32SHE PANTS
0:54:32 > 0:54:36We just gave him 250 grand for something that makes you sick?!
0:54:36 > 0:54:39Well, at least we still have the egg, honey.
0:54:39 > 0:54:43HOARSELY: 50 grand for an egg that's now worth 20 times that.
0:54:43 > 0:54:46He may think he had us, he may think he was smart,
0:54:46 > 0:54:49but we're still way up on the deal!
0:54:49 > 0:54:54Who's the idiot now, Mullen? Who's laughing now!
0:54:54 > 0:54:55HE RETCHES
0:55:00 > 0:55:01Excuse me?
0:55:02 > 0:55:05Is that meant to be in there?
0:55:08 > 0:55:11It's believed the egg might have been accidentally moved by a cleaner
0:55:11 > 0:55:13or even a practical joker,
0:55:13 > 0:55:17but however it happened, Lord Tenguiz declared he was delighted to have his egg back.
0:55:17 > 0:55:19As you can see, the egg is now....
0:55:19 > 0:55:22Mmm. I'm no legal expert, but I'd imagine it's quite difficult
0:55:22 > 0:55:26to charge someone for stealing something that hasn't been stolen.
0:55:26 > 0:55:28Wouldn't you say?
0:55:34 > 0:55:37'The egg is now back in its rightful place, and what a piece of art it is.
0:55:37 > 0:55:39'It was created...'
0:55:39 > 0:55:42But, but, no!
0:55:42 > 0:55:47He stole it! He said, if you used the black light...
0:55:47 > 0:55:52If you subject Styteline to a 15-nanosecond blast of black light,
0:55:52 > 0:55:54it temporarily changes the refractive index.
0:55:54 > 0:55:58And if you believe that load of old cobblers, you'll believe anything.
0:56:00 > 0:56:02We saw him leave the room with it.
0:56:02 > 0:56:04We saw him leave the room with it!
0:56:43 > 0:56:45No!
0:56:47 > 0:56:50We do the cons! We're the ones who do the conning!
0:56:50 > 0:56:54This really has to be your best work. THE best.
0:56:57 > 0:57:02We're the ones who do the goddamn conning!
0:57:02 > 0:57:04So they had to do the robbery themselves,
0:57:04 > 0:57:06or they could have gone to the police.
0:57:06 > 0:57:08Or come after us. But now, they can't do either.
0:57:08 > 0:57:11Yeah, but how would you know for sure they would offer to do it?
0:57:11 > 0:57:14Well, their arrogance, their greed, their need?
0:57:14 > 0:57:17All we had to do was convince them none of us could do the job.
0:57:35 > 0:57:38So you dropped the receipt deliberately. Unbelievable!
0:57:38 > 0:57:40How you lot pull it off, I've no idea.
0:57:40 > 0:57:43Oh! Says the man who pulled off the greatest con of the 21st century.
0:57:43 > 0:57:45It's quite remarkable, Eddie.
0:57:45 > 0:57:48You managed to convince Carol you're an attractive man!
0:57:48 > 0:57:50Oi! We think he's a bit of all right, don't we Carol?
0:57:50 > 0:57:53I won't hear a word against him. Mwah!
0:57:53 > 0:57:55OTHERS: Oooh!
0:57:55 > 0:57:58All right, how about a toast, how about a toast?
0:57:58 > 0:58:01To Eddie, to Carol, to all of us - and our good health.
0:58:01 > 0:58:03ALL: Our good health!
0:58:04 > 0:58:06Hang on.
0:58:06 > 0:58:08- Crudites, anyone?- Low-fat dip?
0:58:08 > 0:58:10He's a friend of chairman Mao, isn't he?
0:58:10 > 0:58:11Ooh!
0:58:11 > 0:58:14Hey, Chinese - now you're talking. Who's got a menu?
0:58:14 > 0:58:16Cheers, all.
0:58:16 > 0:58:17Cheers!
0:58:17 > 0:58:19GLASSES CLINK
0:58:37 > 0:58:41Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:41 > 0:58:44E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk