Zeus, By Jove!

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0:00:50 > 0:00:53I found it in that box.

0:00:54 > 0:00:56In there.

0:00:56 > 0:01:01The box was in my nephew Caligula's bedroom.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04This once belonged to his father Germanicus.

0:01:05 > 0:01:09I said I would tell everything and I shall.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13I shall hide nothing. Nothing.

0:01:14 > 0:01:19And if what comes next may seem incredible...

0:01:19 > 0:01:21believe it.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Believe it.

0:01:26 > 0:01:31"Of the last five years of Tiberius' reign, the less said the better.

0:01:31 > 0:01:36"He remained at Capri, entirely given up to his perversions.

0:01:36 > 0:01:42"And, at last, when people began to think he would never die, he suffered a massive stroke.

0:01:42 > 0:01:47"He had named Caligula his principal heir and Gemellus,

0:01:47 > 0:01:54"who was his grandson, still a boy, his second heir in case Caligula should die before him."

0:02:03 > 0:02:05He's dead.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08Really?

0:02:08 > 0:02:09Get me his ring.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28Tell the world

0:02:28 > 0:02:30that the world has a new emperor.

0:02:49 > 0:02:57Senators, gentlemen...our beloved Emperor Tiberius Claudius is dead.

0:02:58 > 0:03:03I've just left his room having closed those tired, old eyes with this hand.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Before he died,

0:03:05 > 0:03:11he took from his finger this ring, his own seal, and placed it on my finger.

0:03:11 > 0:03:15And he said, "I die in peace, little Gaius,

0:03:15 > 0:03:18"knowing that you rule in my place."

0:03:18 > 0:03:22Those were his last words.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24I wept.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26I fell to my knees and wept.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33Gentlemen, I stand before you now...

0:03:33 > 0:03:35as your Emperor!

0:03:35 > 0:03:37- Master!- >

0:03:37 > 0:03:39- Long live Rome! - Master!- >

0:03:39 > 0:03:41He's alive again.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43The Emperor's alive again.

0:03:43 > 0:03:46He's calling for his supper and he wants his ring back.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53Take it! Take it! I don't want...!

0:03:53 > 0:03:57Gentlemen, gentlemen, I'm sure there's been some sort of mistake here.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00This stupid slave saw the wind stirring the clothes on the Emperor's bed.

0:04:00 > 0:04:05- No, he's asked for beef cutlets and a goblet of...- Quiet, or I'll make a beef cutlet out of you!

0:04:05 > 0:04:08He's out of his wits, can't you see?

0:04:08 > 0:04:12- You'd better go and look for yourself.- Exactly. Exactly.

0:04:12 > 0:04:17I suggest that you all remain here until the matter's sorted out. Come on.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27I want my supper.

0:04:27 > 0:04:31And I...and I want...a beef...

0:04:31 > 0:04:35MUFFLED GROANS

0:05:06 > 0:05:09I told you he was dead.

0:05:09 > 0:05:13Typical of him. Just wanted to see what we'd do if we thought he was dead.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18I shan't forget this, Macro.

0:05:18 > 0:05:19I really shan't.

0:05:31 > 0:05:36Gentlemen, Tiberius Claudius is definitely dead.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38No question of it.

0:05:38 > 0:05:42When I entered his room he was lying peacefully in his bed.

0:05:42 > 0:05:48- We shall take the corpse back to Rome and give him a most magnificent funeral.- ALL: Hail, Caesar!

0:05:48 > 0:05:50ALL: Hail, Caesar! Hail, Caesar!

0:05:56 > 0:06:01Gentlemen, we are at the dawn of a new golden age.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04A son of Germanicus has come before us.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Let us put ourselves in his hands.

0:06:06 > 0:06:13Let the senate vote him supreme power and let us cry, "Rome is saved. Hail, Caesar!"

0:06:13 > 0:06:17ALL: Hail, Caesar! Hail, Caesar!

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Hail, Caesar!

0:06:20 > 0:06:22Herod Agrippa...

0:06:22 > 0:06:23Oh...

0:06:23 > 0:06:26Oh, Herod! I was thinking about you only the other day

0:06:26 > 0:06:30and wondering where you were and what you were doing.

0:06:30 > 0:06:34If I wasn't trying to borrow money from someone I was probably thinking of you.

0:06:34 > 0:06:39- Did you both arrive together? - Ah, I landed and went straight to Capua, I knew he was living there.

0:06:39 > 0:06:45I found him in the act of leaving Rome and intending to call on you on his way.

0:06:45 > 0:06:50- Nothing could have pleased me better.- Sit down. You remember my grandson Gemellus.

0:06:50 > 0:06:55- He's grown.- Too much in the wrong direction - he never stops eating.

0:06:55 > 0:07:00Don't you know it's not good for you to eat all that pastry? That's what clogs the chest.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02If I'm to be scolded, I'll go inside.

0:07:02 > 0:07:07Listen to him. He's given himself such airs since Tiberius died. He thinks already rules in Rome.

0:07:07 > 0:07:10I do. I was made alternate ruler with my cousin Caligula.

0:07:10 > 0:07:14Hold your tongue. The Senate have set that aside as you're too young.

0:07:14 > 0:07:17And people are not made emperors to have the run of baker's shops.

0:07:17 > 0:07:25I can't see that it's any worse to eat too much pastry, than it is to drink too much wine.

0:07:25 > 0:07:27And a lot of grown-ups do that.

0:07:29 > 0:07:31He eats for comfort.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33Livilla ignored him.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36- She had other interests. - Yeah, I wrote you about...

0:07:36 > 0:07:38- Yes.- Well, let's not talk of it.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40She dead and at my hands.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42I'd do it again.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46- Well, perhaps things will improve now that Caligula is in command. - Let's hope so.

0:07:48 > 0:07:52Well, I like all the titles that you thought of for me, as does my sister Drusilla.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55I shall probably use them all.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57What about the consulship, Lentulus?

0:07:57 > 0:08:01Your turn is up. Have you chosen the consul for the next term?

0:08:01 > 0:08:03Well, the choice is obvious to us.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06The Senate begs you to accept the next term.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09And to chose your own colleague to share it with.

0:08:09 > 0:08:13I accept. And I hereby proclaim that my first act as consul will be

0:08:13 > 0:08:17to collect all criminal records and dossiers collected by Aelius Sejanus

0:08:17 > 0:08:20and have them burnt in the market place.

0:08:22 > 0:08:27And in memory of my dear mother Agrippina,

0:08:27 > 0:08:30there will be a new annual festival of horse racing and sword fighting.

0:08:32 > 0:08:37And in future, the month of September will be known as Germanicus,

0:08:37 > 0:08:42after my father, as August was after my great...after my great grandfather.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47And now I have a headache.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49This audience is at an end.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51Is your head bad again?

0:08:51 > 0:08:54Well, come to my room and I'll soothe it for you.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02Lentulus...

0:09:02 > 0:09:05here is my chosen colleague to share the consulship with me.

0:09:05 > 0:09:10- Gemellus - an excellent choice. - No, no, no, no, no, not Gemellus, not him!

0:09:11 > 0:09:13My uncle Claudius.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15- (Your uncle Claudius?!)- Of course.

0:09:15 > 0:09:19Who else should share it with me, but my father's beloved brother?

0:09:19 > 0:09:24Uncle, I appoint you my colleague as consul to the first term.

0:09:24 > 0:09:27- Me, a c-c-c-onsul? - Yes, we'd rule together.

0:09:27 > 0:09:31But I-I've forgotten all the r-r-rules, and s-s-speeches.

0:09:31 > 0:09:35- I'll think of everything and you can do everything.- But-but-but...

0:09:35 > 0:09:39Uncle, there is a galloping in my head and your stuttering is making it worse!

0:09:40 > 0:09:42The matter is closed.

0:09:45 > 0:09:48- What is the matter with him? - The matter with him?

0:09:48 > 0:09:52- Why does he keep clearing his throat like that.- Well, he's had a b-b-bad cough.

0:09:52 > 0:09:56Can't he get rid of it? It's irritating to have him clearing his throat.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58But he's taking c-c-cough mixture.

0:09:58 > 0:10:03Oh, I see. Well, let's hope it clears up soon.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05I've got a weak chest. It's not my fault.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07NO, but it's your chest!

0:10:11 > 0:10:13Is that your own hair?

0:10:15 > 0:10:17- Pardon? - Is it your own hair or is it a wig?

0:10:19 > 0:10:22- M-m-my own.- Why have you got so much and I've got so little?

0:10:22 > 0:10:26I find that extremely irritating - you're much older than I am.

0:10:26 > 0:10:31Uncle, I'll arrange the suite of rooms for you in the palace.

0:10:31 > 0:10:35- You can live with me and my sisters. You'll like that. - GEMELLUS COUGHS

0:10:35 > 0:10:39The whole family will be together. I'm very fond of my family.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41Generally speaking!

0:10:43 > 0:10:47Uncle, your first official duty as consul will be to have

0:10:47 > 0:10:51two statues made of my late brothers Drusus and Nero.

0:10:51 > 0:10:55And they'll be set up and consecrated in a market place,

0:10:55 > 0:10:58and the ceremony will take place in early December.

0:10:58 > 0:11:02Oh, yes, I know it will cost a great deal of money, but there's plenty of money -

0:11:02 > 0:11:06Tiberius left 27 million gold pieces.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09M-may I ask, h-how much is left?

0:11:09 > 0:11:11Lentulus?

0:11:11 > 0:11:13How much is left?

0:11:13 > 0:11:17Between eight and nine, Caesar.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Is that all?!

0:11:19 > 0:11:21He left a lot of debts.

0:11:21 > 0:11:23That GREEDY skinflint!

0:11:23 > 0:11:26He owed money to everybody and left me to pay for it all!

0:11:26 > 0:11:29I should have killed him when I had the chance!

0:11:30 > 0:11:33Oh, my headache's getting worse.

0:11:33 > 0:11:36Galloping inside - a pounding of hooves.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Come to my room.

0:11:39 > 0:11:42My head... Oh...

0:11:44 > 0:11:45Oh.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59What was I saying?

0:11:59 > 0:12:03You should have k-killed him when you had the chance.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06Many times I had the chance and many times I thought of doing it.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08I should take Gemellus to his room.

0:12:08 > 0:12:11Oh, no, no! I'm just about to tell you a story, let him hear.

0:12:11 > 0:12:15This will become, I'm sure, an historic anecdote.

0:12:15 > 0:12:19I want you to write it down, when you retire to your room. Will you stop coughing!

0:12:19 > 0:12:20It's very difficult.

0:12:20 > 0:12:21Well, TRY!

0:12:29 > 0:12:32Lentulus, how much is left?

0:12:32 > 0:12:33Of what?

0:12:33 > 0:12:36Of Tiberius' fortune.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39Between eight and nine million, Caesar.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41Is that all?!

0:12:41 > 0:12:44He also left a lot of debts.

0:12:45 > 0:12:48We've had this conversation before. What's the matter with you?

0:12:55 > 0:13:01I know what I was about to say... I was going to tell you a story.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03It happened three, four years ago in Capri

0:13:03 > 0:13:06when I was still nothing but an innocent young boy,

0:13:06 > 0:13:11shocked and ashamed by the depravity to which the Emperor had fallen in his old age.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14More and more,

0:13:14 > 0:13:16in my precocious wisdom,

0:13:16 > 0:13:21I realised that the fate of Rome might rely on the single stroke of a knife.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23A knife...

0:13:23 > 0:13:26in my hand.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28And the thought tormented me.

0:13:28 > 0:13:31I began to see it as my inescapable destiny.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33But why me?

0:13:33 > 0:13:38Why me who never had a single violent thought in his life?

0:13:38 > 0:13:43Why should this onerous duty be THRUST upon ME?

0:13:45 > 0:13:48Then, one night,

0:13:48 > 0:13:55sleepless as usual with grief at the fate of my dear mother and my dear brothers...

0:13:56 > 0:13:59I decided,

0:13:59 > 0:14:02come what might,

0:14:02 > 0:14:06that I would be avenged at last upon their murderer.

0:14:08 > 0:14:13So I took a knife that belonged to my father Germanicus and I went into the Emperor's room

0:14:13 > 0:14:18and he lay tossing and groaning in a nightmare of guilt.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21And there was a galloping in my head and a pounding....

0:14:23 > 0:14:26Yes, yes, I remember.

0:14:26 > 0:14:29THAT was the first time I heard it.

0:14:29 > 0:14:33And I lifted the dagger in order to strike...

0:14:34 > 0:14:37when a divine voice sounded in my ear.

0:14:37 > 0:14:42"Great grandson, stop, hold your hand! To kill him would be impious!"

0:14:46 > 0:14:48I froze...

0:14:48 > 0:14:51and I turned to see if I could find the owner of the voice

0:14:51 > 0:14:55because there was no-one in the room besides the Emperor and myself.

0:14:55 > 0:15:00And yet I felt the presence of the divine Augustus.

0:15:00 > 0:15:04"Oh, God, Augustus!" I cried.

0:15:04 > 0:15:10"He killed my mother and my brothers, your descendants, should I not avenge them?

0:15:10 > 0:15:15"Even at the risk of being shunned by all men as a parasite?"

0:15:20 > 0:15:23Augustus answered...

0:15:25 > 0:15:28"Oh, magnanimous son,

0:15:28 > 0:15:31"who art to be emperor hereafter.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34"There is no need to do what you would do.

0:15:34 > 0:15:39"By my orders the furies nightly avenge your dear ones while he sleeps."

0:15:39 > 0:15:43- POUNDING IN HIS HEAD - "Leave them to their work and him to his torments -

0:15:43 > 0:15:48"the torments of his dreams and the torments to come in the hereafter."

0:15:48 > 0:15:50POUNDING INCREASES

0:15:50 > 0:15:56"He will suffer eternal agonies, I swear. While you...while you... While you, my son..."

0:15:56 > 0:15:58POUNDING FADES AWAY

0:15:58 > 0:16:05"..while...after a glorious reign, will enter the bosom of Augustus."

0:16:07 > 0:16:09I threw the dagger aside.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12POUNDING RETURNS

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Father...

0:16:16 > 0:16:17..help me!

0:16:19 > 0:16:20HELP ME!

0:16:22 > 0:16:27Stop it! STOP IT...!

0:16:27 > 0:16:29- REVERBERATING POUNDING - Stop it!

0:16:29 > 0:16:33Stop it! Sto-o-op IT!

0:16:36 > 0:16:40The st-st-statues must be ready by the end of November.

0:16:40 > 0:16:44- I'll do my best. More I can't promise.- Look here, I can take the work somewhere else.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46You'd be losing time. We've started it.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49You've got the marble, you haven't started.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51I promise you we'll make a start tomorrow.

0:16:51 > 0:16:55But the Emperor isn't going to be ready in time for the ceremony.

0:16:55 > 0:17:01You n-never mind the Emperor, that's his business. You just make sure those statues are r-ready.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04HE MOUTHS

0:17:28 > 0:17:32The Emperor awoke earlier this morning but then relapsed into a coma.

0:17:32 > 0:17:35That's all I can tell you.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38And I suggest that you return to your homes.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40Everything that can be done is being done.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50We pray for him hourly.

0:17:50 > 0:17:53- Tell him that if he wakes.- I shall.

0:17:53 > 0:17:58Tell him that I have offered my own life in place of his if the gods will spare him.

0:17:58 > 0:18:04If anything should happen to him, it will be the worst calamity to befall Rome since the death of Germanicus.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06Your prayers will help him, I'm sure.

0:18:10 > 0:18:15Uncle Claudius, you must come quickly, he is awake and he wants to see you!

0:18:15 > 0:18:17- What for?- I don't know!

0:18:17 > 0:18:19But for heaven's sake, humour him!

0:18:19 > 0:18:21He'll kill you if you don't say what he wants you to say.

0:18:21 > 0:18:24- Well, wh-wh-wh...?- I don't know!

0:18:24 > 0:18:26But he just tried to kill me.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28He said I didn't love him.

0:18:28 > 0:18:32He made me swear over and over and over again that I did.

0:18:32 > 0:18:34Oh, do go, please!

0:18:43 > 0:18:46H-h-hail, C-c-caesar.

0:18:46 > 0:18:49What a j-joy to see you alive.

0:18:49 > 0:18:53And to hear your voice again.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55I-I-I hope that you're b-better.

0:18:56 > 0:18:59I've never really been ill.

0:18:59 > 0:19:02Oh, really?

0:19:02 > 0:19:03No.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05I've been undergoing a metamorphosis.

0:19:05 > 0:19:08A... Oh.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10Was it p-p-painful?

0:19:10 > 0:19:14It was like a birth,

0:19:14 > 0:19:17in which the mother delivers herself.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19Oh, yes.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21That m-m-must have been p-p-painful.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25M-m-may I enquire...

0:19:25 > 0:19:27wh-what is the...

0:19:27 > 0:19:32character of this g-g-glorious change

0:19:32 > 0:19:34which has come over you?

0:19:37 > 0:19:38Isn't it obvious?

0:19:46 > 0:19:50Y-Y-You've b-b-become a god!

0:19:51 > 0:19:54Oh, my God.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56Let me worship you.

0:19:56 > 0:20:01Oh, how could I have been so blind!

0:20:01 > 0:20:04Well, I am still in mortal disguise - that wouldn't help you.

0:20:04 > 0:20:06I should have seen it at once.

0:20:06 > 0:20:11Your face shines, even in this light, like a lamp.

0:20:11 > 0:20:15Does it? Get up and give me that mirror.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29Oh, it is bright, isn't it?

0:20:29 > 0:20:33I could r-r-read by it.

0:20:34 > 0:20:37I always knew that this would happen.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39I always knew that I was divine.

0:20:39 > 0:20:40Come to think of it,

0:20:40 > 0:20:45when I was two I put down a mutiny in my father's army and so saved Rome.

0:20:45 > 0:20:46Well, that was prodigious.

0:20:46 > 0:20:51It's like the stories they tell of Mercury as a child, or Hercules

0:20:51 > 0:20:55who h-h-handled snakes in his cradle.

0:20:55 > 0:21:02Exactly. Only Mercury only stole a few oxen, whereas by the age of ten I'd already killed my father.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04Oh, you didn't know that, did you?

0:21:04 > 0:21:07N-N-No.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10D-Deity...

0:21:10 > 0:21:14Even Jove didn't do that, he merely banished the old man.

0:21:14 > 0:21:19Why, if you don't mind my asking, did you do that?

0:21:19 > 0:21:22Well, he stood in my way.

0:21:22 > 0:21:26Me, a young god, he tried to discipline me.

0:21:26 > 0:21:29So I frightened him to death in Antioch.

0:21:29 > 0:21:32So it was you who did all that.

0:21:32 > 0:21:34Quite incredible.

0:21:34 > 0:21:35No, not at all.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37Not for a god - it was very simple.

0:21:37 > 0:21:42And not only did I kill my natural father, I also killed my adoptive father Tiberius.

0:21:42 > 0:21:45And Jove never did that.

0:21:45 > 0:21:48No, I've never read that he did that.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50You see? And you're a very well-read man.

0:21:50 > 0:21:55And whereas Jove only slept with one of his sisters, I've slept with all three of mine.

0:21:55 > 0:21:57All three have admitted a god into their beds.

0:21:57 > 0:22:00Martina told me it was the right thing for a god to do.

0:22:00 > 0:22:03Oh, you kn-kn-knew Martina well?

0:22:03 > 0:22:06Oh, yes, very well. A very wise woman.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09When my parents were in Egypt I visited her every day

0:22:09 > 0:22:12and she taught me the history of the gods, especially the Greek ones.

0:22:12 > 0:22:17She said that I was more like Zeus than Jove. That Jove was just a pale, Roman copy of Zeus.

0:22:19 > 0:22:23Zeus married his sister, didn't he?

0:22:23 > 0:22:24What was her name?

0:22:24 > 0:22:27- Hera.- Hera, that's it.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30And she became pregnant by him.

0:22:30 > 0:22:33No, no, that was Metis.

0:22:33 > 0:22:38And fearing that the child would become stronger than himself and rule the heavens,

0:22:38 > 0:22:43he took the child from her body and swallowed it whole.

0:22:43 > 0:22:47And Athena sprang from his head.

0:22:47 > 0:22:50Yes, something like that.

0:22:50 > 0:22:53I never used to believe that sort of story, but of course now...

0:22:53 > 0:22:55I can see that they're true.

0:22:57 > 0:23:02Well, now you understand why I have always been divine.

0:23:04 > 0:23:06And Drusilla is divine too.

0:23:06 > 0:23:10I shall announce it at the same time that I announce my own divinity.

0:23:10 > 0:23:14This is the most glorious hour of my life.

0:23:16 > 0:23:18Will you allow me to retire?

0:23:18 > 0:23:21And sacrifice to you at once...

0:23:23 > 0:23:27The divine air you exhale is too strong for me.

0:23:27 > 0:23:28I'm fainting.

0:23:36 > 0:23:39Go in peace.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42I was thinking of killing you, but I've changed my mind.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45Send Drusilla to me.

0:23:59 > 0:24:02He wants to see you.

0:24:02 > 0:24:04He's become a god.

0:24:04 > 0:24:06Oh, you're a god too.

0:24:06 > 0:24:08We're not.

0:24:08 > 0:24:10A god?! Which one?

0:24:10 > 0:24:12He thinks he's Zeus!

0:24:12 > 0:24:15- Sounds bad for us mortals. - Perhaps not.

0:24:15 > 0:24:20When he decides to announce his d-d-divinity, they'll all see he's mad, they'll l-l-lock him up.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22We'll have the Republic back.

0:24:22 > 0:24:27My friend, this could be the best thing that every happened to us.

0:24:27 > 0:24:29Oh.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31The Emperor is coming.

0:24:34 > 0:24:37Now, there is something that you ought to know before he arrives,

0:24:37 > 0:24:40so that you won't be taken totally by surprise.

0:24:42 > 0:24:48We are privileged to be living at the time of a most astonishing event.

0:24:48 > 0:24:53The Emperor has undergone a transformation.

0:24:53 > 0:24:57A metamorphosis.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01He has become...a god.

0:25:01 > 0:25:04LAUGHTER QUICKLY FADES

0:25:04 > 0:25:07Now, that is unusual, to say the least.

0:25:07 > 0:25:12But that's the nature of miracles - to be unusual.

0:25:12 > 0:25:16And if it's the nature of some people not to believe in them,

0:25:16 > 0:25:18well, the more fool them.

0:25:20 > 0:25:23However, the Emperor doesn't want to make too much of it.

0:25:23 > 0:25:26He doesn't want any fuss or public announcements.

0:25:26 > 0:25:29He wants us all to behave normally.

0:25:29 > 0:25:36Although he is now a god, he is still the same loveable young man who we've always known, I can attest to that.

0:25:36 > 0:25:42And to enable his relationships with all of us to continue exactly as they were,

0:25:42 > 0:25:46he has decided, for convenience, to retain his mortal form.

0:25:47 > 0:25:51Oh, and, by the way, his sister Drusilla has become a goddess. Any questions?

0:25:55 > 0:25:58Well, of course, it is unusual

0:25:58 > 0:26:04but, as Sutorius Macro says, that IS the nature of miracles.

0:26:05 > 0:26:09Why, one must ask oneself, are gods made only after death?

0:26:09 > 0:26:14Sooner or later a man was bound to be reborn a god in our very midst.

0:26:14 > 0:26:18If we worship the divine Augustus after his death,

0:26:18 > 0:26:22doesn't it make sense to worship his great grandson while he is still alive?

0:26:22 > 0:26:26I think we should count ourselves fortunate to be living at this time.

0:26:26 > 0:26:30Gentlemen, posterity will envy us.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32Posterity will call you an ass, you idiot.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36The Emperor.

0:26:36 > 0:26:44BUGLES PLAY

0:26:51 > 0:26:56My sister and I are pleased to admit you into our presence once again.

0:26:59 > 0:27:02Your recovery is a miracle.

0:27:02 > 0:27:03But you prayed for it, Lentulus.

0:27:03 > 0:27:07Night and day. But our prayers are not always heard.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09Yes, but yours were very special, so I understand.

0:27:09 > 0:27:13You offered your life to the gods in place of mine. That was extremely noble.

0:27:13 > 0:27:16It's true. I did.

0:27:16 > 0:27:18And what are you going to do about it?

0:27:18 > 0:27:22Do about it? What do you mean?

0:27:22 > 0:27:25Well, I'm still here and so are you.

0:27:25 > 0:27:27But we oughtn't both to be here.

0:27:27 > 0:27:30Should we not give the gods the things that we promised them?

0:27:30 > 0:27:33You're in danger of the crime of perjury, Lentulus. Think about it.

0:27:33 > 0:27:39But not too long. The gods won't wait forever, of that I can assure you, I know them only too well.

0:27:39 > 0:27:44Now we will walk through the market place and the forum and show ourselves to the people of Rome.

0:27:44 > 0:27:49Still coughing? We shall have to do something about that. You haven't forgotten my statues?

0:27:49 > 0:27:54- C-c-certainly not.- Herod, you're back with us.- To bring you my congratulations, Caesar.

0:27:54 > 0:27:56Come walk with me awhile. I want to talk to you.

0:28:02 > 0:28:07You mean to tell me that there is no-one in all Rome man enough to strike him down like a dog.

0:28:07 > 0:28:12It's very difficult, Mother. There are always guards - Sejanus saw to that.

0:28:12 > 0:28:14And anyway, I've never k-k-killed anyone before.

0:28:14 > 0:28:18Besides, everyone secretly believes his madness can't last.

0:28:18 > 0:28:21Either he'll recover his senses or he'll die.

0:28:21 > 0:28:25- Well, couldn't you poison his food? - Oh, Mother, what am I? An assassin?

0:28:25 > 0:28:29- A living god among us(!) - And a goddess.

0:28:29 > 0:28:31I saw that coming a long time ago.

0:28:31 > 0:28:35To take a sister for a wife - they will rot in hell for it, both of them.

0:28:35 > 0:28:38- To be honest, I feel sorry for her. - You would!

0:28:38 > 0:28:42She's terrified of him so she plays up to him.

0:28:42 > 0:28:46- I can't say that I blame her. - I'd kill myself first. - No-one wants to die, Mother.

0:28:46 > 0:28:51I saw Lentulus' face, the day it dawned on him that "the god" wasn't joking.

0:28:51 > 0:28:54He waited a long time hoping Caligula would forget it, but he didn't.

0:28:54 > 0:28:59He sent Macro with a colonel of the guard to watch him while he opened his veins.

0:28:59 > 0:29:04He got what he deserved. They all deserve it, and you too! You are a pack of shameless cowards.

0:29:04 > 0:29:08When Germanicus died, there died the last of the Romans.

0:29:10 > 0:29:12Good to get away from Rome.

0:29:12 > 0:29:15You are fortunate you don't have to live in the palace.

0:29:15 > 0:29:20- The antics that go on there at night are...- I don't want to hear it, I have heard enough!

0:29:21 > 0:29:25- Is there anything left in the privy purse?- No, not much.

0:29:25 > 0:29:31He g-g-gave a charioteer 20,000 gold pieces the other day just for w-w-winning a race.

0:29:31 > 0:29:34When the money runs out, you'd all better watch out.

0:29:34 > 0:29:36I'll see you both at supper.

0:29:40 > 0:29:43- She's very upset. - Well, what can I do?

0:29:44 > 0:29:47I've got a mad nephew but I can't kill him.

0:29:47 > 0:29:49What's the matter with us, Herod?

0:29:49 > 0:29:53These are the children of my noble brother Germanicus.

0:29:53 > 0:29:55How could it happen?

0:29:55 > 0:30:00Well, you know what they say about the tree of the glorious, it bears two kinds of fruit -

0:30:00 > 0:30:02Sweet and red.

0:30:02 > 0:30:06Well, we've certainly had a terrifying crop this season.

0:30:38 > 0:30:40This isn't their house...

0:30:41 > 0:30:44This is OUR house.

0:30:44 > 0:30:45Yes.

0:30:45 > 0:30:48We shall spend most of our time here.

0:30:48 > 0:30:52I'll build a bridge to connect it with the palace.

0:30:52 > 0:30:54And I'll hold my audiences here.

0:30:54 > 0:30:55Yes.

0:30:59 > 0:31:00Look at it.

0:31:00 > 0:31:03- Jove. - THEY LAUGH

0:31:03 > 0:31:06Does he look like a god?

0:31:06 > 0:31:08An inferior god.

0:31:09 > 0:31:13(Yes.) An inferior god.

0:31:18 > 0:31:19Did you hear that?

0:31:21 > 0:31:24You're not important enough for this temple.

0:31:26 > 0:31:28I beg your pardon?

0:31:28 > 0:31:31Be careful what you say to ME

0:31:31 > 0:31:33otherwise I'll have your face smashed in.

0:31:35 > 0:31:37Well, speak up, I can't hear you!

0:31:40 > 0:31:45Well, for now you may address me as Zeus -

0:31:45 > 0:31:48for his power is the nearest that approaches me.

0:31:50 > 0:31:54You were created by the old Romans in his image but you're nothing.

0:31:55 > 0:31:58NOTHING! Do you hear me?

0:31:58 > 0:31:59And this...

0:31:59 > 0:32:01is Hera.

0:32:02 > 0:32:04Out of whom...

0:32:05 > 0:32:08the Romans created YOU!

0:32:09 > 0:32:12We will move you both to an annexe.

0:32:13 > 0:32:16You've been here far too long.

0:32:16 > 0:32:22This is temple in which I have chosen to bear the child of ZEUS!

0:32:36 > 0:32:38Child?

0:32:42 > 0:32:44Mine...?

0:32:44 > 0:32:46The child of Zeus...

0:32:47 > 0:32:49to rule the universe.

0:32:52 > 0:32:54Tell her.

0:32:56 > 0:33:01Tell her what it's like to be loved by Zeus.

0:33:01 > 0:33:03Tell her.

0:33:03 > 0:33:07He was like the sun bursting in my veins.

0:33:07 > 0:33:09He was like a shooting star.

0:33:09 > 0:33:16It was if all the lights of the universe blazed at once in my womb.

0:33:16 > 0:33:19And a new universe was born.

0:33:29 > 0:33:32- But you promised they'd be standing today.- I did not promise.

0:33:32 > 0:33:35I said I'd do my best, that's all I promised.

0:33:35 > 0:33:38- They h-have to be ready for the ce-ceremony tomorrow.- Nero's ready.

0:33:38 > 0:33:41- One's no good without the other one, you idiot!- No need to be offensive.

0:33:41 > 0:33:45- Offensive?! I'll have you thrown out of the city.- Well, what can I do?

0:33:45 > 0:33:48The marble didn't arrive until last week and my best sculptor's sick.

0:33:48 > 0:33:52- The marble was here last time I called.- It was? But there was a crack.

0:33:52 > 0:33:56- Yeah, you used it for somebody else, you rogue.- As Jove is my judge, we never used it for anyone else.

0:33:56 > 0:33:59Take Nero and I'll have Drusus ready in a week.

0:33:59 > 0:34:01You can keep it.

0:34:01 > 0:34:04- You've got me into a great deal of trouble.- Keep it?

0:34:04 > 0:34:07What am I going to do with a statue of Nero?

0:34:07 > 0:34:10You can stick it! And you know where you can stick it!

0:34:10 > 0:34:13And I'll see you in the courts for breach of contract!

0:34:13 > 0:34:15You'll sue me? I'll sue you.

0:34:15 > 0:34:17I'll sue you for damages.

0:34:17 > 0:34:19For misrepresentation.

0:34:19 > 0:34:22You'll be hearing from my lawyers, I promise you.

0:34:22 > 0:34:23CRASH

0:34:23 > 0:34:26And I'll charge you for that too!

0:34:27 > 0:34:33- Caesar, there is something you should know.- Ssh!

0:34:33 > 0:34:36Can you hear it?

0:34:36 > 0:34:37Hear what?

0:34:37 > 0:34:41Gemellus...coughing.

0:34:41 > 0:34:42Can't you hear it?

0:34:44 > 0:34:47No.

0:34:47 > 0:34:51Oh, what it is to have the senses of a god, I can hear everything.

0:34:51 > 0:34:52Even a leaf

0:34:52 > 0:34:54falling on the other side of the world.

0:34:54 > 0:34:58Sometimes it's unbearable to hear so much.

0:34:58 > 0:35:00Can't you hear anything?

0:35:01 > 0:35:04Not a thing.

0:35:04 > 0:35:06He was coughing all the way through dinner.

0:35:06 > 0:35:09Why weren't you at dinner, by the way?

0:35:09 > 0:35:11I fell asleep.

0:35:11 > 0:35:13He was coughing all the way through dinner.

0:35:13 > 0:35:18And even when he went to his room on the far side of the palace, I could still hear it.

0:35:18 > 0:35:20No-one else could.

0:35:20 > 0:35:21Not even Hera.

0:35:21 > 0:35:26Hera? Oh, yes, Hera.

0:35:27 > 0:35:31No, I don't think she would have heard it.

0:35:35 > 0:35:37Stopped.

0:35:37 > 0:35:40Oh, yeah, I'm glad.

0:35:40 > 0:35:42Yes, you wanted to tell me something.

0:35:42 > 0:35:45Yes. It's about the st-statues.

0:35:45 > 0:35:49That's something I wanted to talk to you about. You've noticed too?

0:35:49 > 0:35:55- Noticed what? - That none of the statues of the gods in Rome look like me.

0:35:55 > 0:35:56I can't have that.

0:35:56 > 0:36:00Collect all the important statues of the gods in Rome

0:36:00 > 0:36:02and replace their heads with one of my own.

0:36:02 > 0:36:04- Your own?- Yes.

0:36:04 > 0:36:06And Hera's too.

0:36:06 > 0:36:09You could put her head

0:36:09 > 0:36:13on the statue of Venus.

0:36:15 > 0:36:17Isn't she beautiful?

0:36:17 > 0:36:19And she's pregnant.

0:36:19 > 0:36:22She carries my child in her womb.

0:36:22 > 0:36:25That thought torments me - and what could it be like?

0:36:25 > 0:36:30Could it be greater than Zeus himself? Could it rule the universe?

0:36:30 > 0:36:34The statues of Nero and Drusus

0:36:34 > 0:36:39won't be ready for the ceremony.

0:36:39 > 0:36:41What?

0:36:41 > 0:36:45The statues of your b-b-brothers

0:36:45 > 0:36:48won't be r-r-ready in time.

0:36:48 > 0:36:50- Won't be ready?!- It's not my fault.

0:36:50 > 0:36:54- I-I-I...- You bungle everything! You're an idiot, your mother always said you were.

0:36:54 > 0:36:56I was a fool to have trusted you!

0:36:56 > 0:36:59- Sorry.- I've a good mind to have your throat cut. In fact, I'll do it now.

0:36:59 > 0:37:01- No. No!- What is it?

0:37:03 > 0:37:04Who is it?

0:37:08 > 0:37:11Gemellus.

0:37:11 > 0:37:13I've cured his cough.

0:37:13 > 0:37:14Oh, no.

0:37:16 > 0:37:19Oh. Oh.

0:37:19 > 0:37:21And you're not consul any more.

0:37:21 > 0:37:24You are dismissed!

0:37:24 > 0:37:26I'll find somebody else.

0:37:31 > 0:37:33Take it away. It looks horrible.

0:37:33 > 0:37:35Yes, Caesar.

0:37:36 > 0:37:39Drusilla, wake up, please.

0:37:39 > 0:37:43Please, Drusilla, my head!

0:37:43 > 0:37:44Please.

0:37:53 > 0:37:55No-one can be greater than Zeus.

0:37:58 > 0:38:01Not even the child of Zeus.

0:38:03 > 0:38:06Well, there weren't many at the funeral, were there?

0:38:06 > 0:38:10What did you expect? Caligula denounced him as a traitor to the senate.

0:38:10 > 0:38:14All the same he was Iberius' grandson, and was still only a boy.

0:38:14 > 0:38:17How could people believe such nonsense?

0:38:17 > 0:38:19People will believe anything if it suits them.

0:38:19 > 0:38:24We may count ourselves fortunate he didn't celebrate the funeral with games.

0:38:27 > 0:38:29I want to speak to Claudius alone.

0:38:29 > 0:38:32Of course. I'll go.

0:38:36 > 0:38:41Is there something wrong, lady, or is it Gemellus' funeral that has upset you?

0:38:41 > 0:38:42It's the funeral.

0:38:44 > 0:38:46Goodbye, Herod.

0:38:46 > 0:38:47Goodbye.

0:38:50 > 0:38:52You going away somewhere?

0:38:52 > 0:38:55Yes. At long last

0:38:55 > 0:38:57I'm going to join your father.

0:39:01 > 0:39:02What do you mean?

0:39:02 > 0:39:06I'm going to kill myself.

0:39:06 > 0:39:10- Now, don't start any nonsense. - But you can't.

0:39:10 > 0:39:14Oh, yes, I can. My life's my own. It will be a welcome release.

0:39:14 > 0:39:17I have no wish to go on living in this place.

0:39:17 > 0:39:20And you don't have to pretend you will miss me.

0:39:20 > 0:39:23Of course I'll miss you.

0:39:23 > 0:39:28- You're my mother.- Well, that's very dutiful of you considering I've never been very loving towards you.

0:39:28 > 0:39:32And I'm sorry for that, but you've always been a great disappointment to me, Claudius.

0:39:32 > 0:39:35- Please don't say it.- There, you see.

0:39:35 > 0:39:37You're crying at your age.

0:39:37 > 0:39:40- Well, why shouldn't I cry? - Well, there's no need.

0:39:40 > 0:39:43Keep your tears for yourself. You may need them. I shan't.

0:39:43 > 0:39:45Don't do it, please.

0:39:45 > 0:39:49My mind is made up. I don't want to stay here any more.

0:39:49 > 0:39:54I was born into a world of people. It has become a kennel of mad dogs.

0:39:54 > 0:40:00I have seen my splendid son Germanicus murdered, and my grandsons Drusus, Nero, Gemellus.

0:40:00 > 0:40:05My granddaughter is a degenerate beyond redemption, and your sister Livilla died by my own hand.

0:40:05 > 0:40:08That was the worst.

0:40:08 > 0:40:10I should have died then myself.

0:40:10 > 0:40:12Wait awhile.

0:40:12 > 0:40:15Caligula is sick in his mind, sooner or later...

0:40:15 > 0:40:17No, Rome is sick, sick to its heart.

0:40:17 > 0:40:19He's just the rash it's come out in.

0:40:19 > 0:40:22He can't last forever.

0:40:22 > 0:40:24No.

0:40:24 > 0:40:28And I dare say you'll survive him.

0:40:28 > 0:40:32You'd survive the Great Flood, I know that now. But I have no wish to.

0:40:32 > 0:40:37I have stayed too long and I have always thought it the height of good manners to know when to leave.

0:40:41 > 0:40:44You will find all my affairs in order.

0:40:44 > 0:40:47Pay my debts and be good to my slaves. They have been very loyal.

0:40:47 > 0:40:49I shall go down to Antium and do it there.

0:40:49 > 0:40:55Come in five hours, I shall be dead by then. But wait till Briseis confirms it.

0:40:55 > 0:40:57I wouldn't want you to catch my dying breath.

0:40:57 > 0:41:01I count on you to pay me the last rites.

0:41:01 > 0:41:06And remember, cut off my hand for separate burial for this will be suicide.

0:41:06 > 0:41:09It would be just like you to forget it.

0:41:09 > 0:41:12And, Claudius...

0:41:12 > 0:41:13Claudius!

0:41:15 > 0:41:18Please...

0:41:18 > 0:41:22don't make a muddle of the valedictory.

0:41:24 > 0:41:26You may kiss me.

0:41:28 > 0:41:30Don't, Mother.

0:42:11 > 0:42:14She's dead, master.

0:42:14 > 0:42:19- You can go in.- How was it?

0:42:19 > 0:42:22Oh, so easy, master.

0:42:22 > 0:42:28When a life so wants to escape, it takes but the touch of a knife on the vein to let it flow away.

0:42:28 > 0:42:31She didn't cry out?

0:42:31 > 0:42:33Only at the end.

0:42:33 > 0:42:35I heard her call to your father.

0:42:37 > 0:42:39"Drusus," she said, "forgive me".

0:42:39 > 0:42:42- "Forgive me."- Forgive me?

0:42:42 > 0:42:45Perhaps for keeping him waiting so long.

0:42:47 > 0:42:50I've taken her out of the bath and laid her out.

0:42:50 > 0:42:54She's covered with a sheet. You can go and see her now.

0:42:54 > 0:42:57Yes, I'll come.

0:42:59 > 0:43:01Don't be sad, master.

0:43:01 > 0:43:05She wanted to go. It was no effort.

0:43:05 > 0:43:09Calm as you like, and brave.

0:43:09 > 0:43:14Well, she was Mark Antony's daughter and Octavius'. You'd expect it to be like that.

0:43:17 > 0:43:21I've cut off her hand for separate burial.

0:43:21 > 0:43:23Why did YOU do it?

0:43:23 > 0:43:25She asked me to, master.

0:43:25 > 0:43:30Perhaps she thought it might slip your mind.

0:43:36 > 0:43:38Zeusy!

0:43:40 > 0:43:42Zeusy!

0:43:42 > 0:43:44My husband.

0:43:44 > 0:43:45Where are you?

0:43:47 > 0:43:50Ooh, you're not Zeusy!

0:43:50 > 0:43:54You're not my husband Zeusy.

0:43:54 > 0:43:59You're just my silly old uncle C-C-Claudius.

0:43:59 > 0:44:02It was your grandmother's funeral today.

0:44:02 > 0:44:04Couldn't you have attended?

0:44:07 > 0:44:10Gods don't attend funerals.

0:44:10 > 0:44:11You're drunk.

0:44:11 > 0:44:18No, my husband found this wonderful portion which we take.

0:44:18 > 0:44:24It makes you feel as if you're riding through the air.

0:44:24 > 0:44:27Have you seen him, my husband?

0:44:27 > 0:44:32- He's hiding. - Do you mean your brother?

0:44:32 > 0:44:34Yes, my brother.

0:44:36 > 0:44:39My divine,

0:44:39 > 0:44:41potent brother.

0:44:41 > 0:44:43Potent.

0:44:47 > 0:44:50Do you know he's to be a father?

0:44:52 > 0:44:55Hera is with child by Zeus.

0:44:55 > 0:45:00Or Diana. Sometimes I'm one, sometimes I'm the other.

0:45:00 > 0:45:02He gets a bit confused.

0:45:02 > 0:45:05Why do you play up to him like this?

0:45:05 > 0:45:08Why do you?

0:45:08 > 0:45:11You play the clown and I play the goddess.

0:45:15 > 0:45:18God, you're disgusting.

0:45:18 > 0:45:22You wouldn't dare say that to him.

0:45:22 > 0:45:24You're afraid.

0:45:24 > 0:45:26We're all afraid.

0:45:26 > 0:45:28Even he is.

0:45:32 > 0:45:35You know what he's afraid of?

0:45:38 > 0:45:43This. He's afraid it will be more powerful then he is and rule the heavens.

0:45:45 > 0:45:49Now I have something he's afraid of.

0:45:49 > 0:45:51Zeusy!

0:45:51 > 0:45:56Zeusy, where are you?

0:45:56 > 0:45:57Zeusy.

0:46:06 > 0:46:09Zeusy!

0:46:09 > 0:46:10Uh!

0:46:12 > 0:46:15Oh, you frightened me.

0:46:18 > 0:46:20Oh, it's magnificent.

0:46:22 > 0:46:24It will tickle a bit.

0:46:25 > 0:46:28Why are you hiding in here?

0:46:28 > 0:46:30I wanted you to find me in here.

0:46:32 > 0:46:34You see,

0:46:34 > 0:46:36I have altered my whole room.

0:46:39 > 0:46:45Olympus, we gods like to live on mountain tops and while I

0:46:45 > 0:46:49have to live in this awful palace, this reminds me of my real home.

0:46:50 > 0:46:52And what's this?

0:46:52 > 0:46:55A chariot to draw you up to the clouds.

0:46:57 > 0:46:59Drink this.

0:46:59 > 0:47:01I think I have drunk enough.

0:47:01 > 0:47:03Is it the same?

0:47:03 > 0:47:07It's the same. We gods drink it before we perform a miracle.

0:47:07 > 0:47:09Drink, drink, drink.

0:47:12 > 0:47:14Mmm.

0:47:18 > 0:47:21You know I love you

0:47:21 > 0:47:24more than anything in the whole world?

0:47:24 > 0:47:28Let me show you how you will be drawn up into Olympus.

0:47:30 > 0:47:33You see.

0:47:33 > 0:47:38Gold and bracelets to help you...

0:47:40 > 0:47:45..to help you...ride.

0:47:45 > 0:47:48Shall we ride together?

0:47:48 > 0:47:50Who am I?

0:47:50 > 0:47:53Zeus, Lord of Heaven, my husband.

0:47:53 > 0:47:57- Who are you? - The Queen of Heaven, your wife.

0:47:57 > 0:48:00Do you trust me?

0:48:00 > 0:48:02Oh, utterly, my lover, my lord.

0:48:02 > 0:48:06- There'll be no pain, I promise. - Pain?

0:48:06 > 0:48:09Why, what do you want to do, my angel?

0:48:09 > 0:48:11You know I can resist you nothing.

0:48:16 > 0:48:18What are you doing?

0:48:18 > 0:48:21What do you want to do?

0:48:21 > 0:48:26Oh, come on, tell the Queen of Heaven what her lord and master wants.

0:48:28 > 0:48:29I must

0:48:29 > 0:48:34draw the child from the Queen of Heaven's womb and swallow it whole.

0:48:34 > 0:48:37So that a new child may grow out of the head of Zeus.

0:48:37 > 0:48:39Yes, darling,

0:48:39 > 0:48:41draw it out.

0:48:41 > 0:48:44Let Zeus take the child and...

0:48:46 > 0:48:49Let's go to bed.

0:48:49 > 0:48:51Your queen's very sleepy.

0:48:53 > 0:48:55What's that?

0:48:55 > 0:48:57What are you going to do?

0:48:57 > 0:49:00There'll be no pain, I know it.

0:49:00 > 0:49:02Pain, but why should...?

0:49:04 > 0:49:05Caligula?

0:49:05 > 0:49:09We are immortal gods.

0:49:10 > 0:49:12SHE SCREAMS

0:49:21 > 0:49:22Open the door!

0:49:25 > 0:49:28HAMMERING ON THE DOOR

0:49:46 > 0:49:48Don't go in there.

0:49:50 > 0:49:53Don't go in there.

0:50:22 > 0:50:25Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd - 2006

0:50:25 > 0:50:28E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk