0:00:50 > 0:00:52It's from Herod.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54What does he say?
0:00:54 > 0:00:57It's written from Jerusalem.
0:00:57 > 0:01:01Read it to me. His letters are so amusing.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02"Mr dear old friend,
0:01:02 > 0:01:09"what is all this I hear about you living in three rooms in the o-o-old quarter of town?
0:01:09 > 0:01:11"Is it serious?
0:01:13 > 0:01:15"Why did you not write to me?
0:01:15 > 0:01:18"Is it that absurd pride of yours?
0:01:18 > 0:01:20"Well, I shall attend to that shortly.
0:01:20 > 0:01:25"Meanwhile, knowing how loathe you are to accept money
0:01:25 > 0:01:29"and being the only practical friend you ever had,
0:01:29 > 0:01:34"I enclose a little... p-p-present for you.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Please, make proper use of it. Herod.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40What is it? Seems very small.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41Well, I don't know.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49I don't think that's very generous!
0:01:49 > 0:01:53Venus! Oh, Claudius, I think your luck is changing.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58I'm sure it's an omen!
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Those dice are crooked.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07You can't possibly use them.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10HE CHUCKLES
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Oh, dear, Herod!
0:02:12 > 0:02:16- How I miss him.- Master.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18- Have you seen this?- What?
0:02:18 > 0:02:22- It was pinned on the door of the temple.- What is it?
0:02:22 > 0:02:24It's advertising a brothel in the palace.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26They're all over the city.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29A brothel, in the palace?
0:02:29 > 0:02:31But who is to serve in it?
0:02:31 > 0:02:34His sisters, his cousins.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36S-S-Senators and their wives.
0:02:36 > 0:02:37You knew about it?
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Why didn't you tell me?
0:02:46 > 0:02:49He wants you there.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52He wants me to take t-t-the money on the door.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Oh, Claudius.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Little monster.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Forcing the nobility into prostitution.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02And in the palace.
0:03:02 > 0:03:07Why, even Calpurnia wouldn't serve in such a place, and that's her profession.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10That is not her profession any more!
0:03:17 > 0:03:21My dear, that was, and is, my profession.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23I'm a prostitute, and I've never been ashamed of it.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28All the same, I won't serve in his brothel!
0:03:28 > 0:03:31There's some price a man won't pay.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35JOLLY MUSIC PLAYS
0:04:44 > 0:04:48Claudius, I was told to bring her here, but she's terrified.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50- Nothing you can do.- Please, listen!
0:04:50 > 0:04:52She's given birth six weeks ago.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- If someone touches her, I'm afraid what she'll do.- No exceptions.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58There must be a room or somewhere to put her. No one will notice. Please!
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Do you want mine to get along with yours?
0:05:00 > 0:05:02You've paid your fee, go on in!
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Enjoy yourself.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06- It's not important.- No.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Do you want the child left without a mother?!
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Come.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Ah, another customer.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15As we were just running out of men.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Real men.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Sabinus, isn't it?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22And I see you've brought your pretty wife.
0:05:22 > 0:05:28My dear, you'll make a fortune in there tonight.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31You better, anyway. The emperor has just raised his commission.
0:05:31 > 0:05:37- Shall we go?- Ah, reinforcements. - Marcus.
0:05:37 > 0:05:42The emperor's brother-in-law, and your first customer.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Make him pay through the nose, my dear.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- You're worth it.- No!
0:05:49 > 0:05:50Come!
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- What are you doing? - Chucking you out!
0:06:18 > 0:06:21- You've no right!- That's what I'm here for, that's what I'm doing!
0:06:21 > 0:06:23- But why?! - For creating a disturbance!
0:06:23 > 0:06:26- But she was creating the disturbance!- Out!
0:06:26 > 0:06:27See him off the premises.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43- Go home. - But if the emperor should return...
0:06:43 > 0:06:47I'll tell him I threw you out for indecent behaviour.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54You are a good man, Claudius.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Claudius?
0:06:59 > 0:07:00We must help him, the emperor.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- He's your husband, you help him. - Claudius!
0:07:03 > 0:07:07He's sick. He needs good people round him.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09He's killed them all.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- What are you doing here in your condition?- He told me to come.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14He likes me to be with him.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18Has he shown you naked to his guards lately?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Oh, I'm sorry.
0:07:23 > 0:07:29It's not for me to c-c-criticise, I bleat to the rest of them whenever he appears.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32There are no lions among us any more.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34ALL LAUGH AND APPLAUD
0:07:49 > 0:07:51LAUGHTER AND MUSIC STOPS
0:07:53 > 0:07:56HE CHUCKLES
0:08:00 > 0:08:07Vulcan with awkward grace, his office plies, while unextinguished laughter shakes the skies.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11Homer for Vulcan read old uncle Claudius.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Oh...
0:08:14 > 0:08:20Then from his anvil, the lame craftsman rose.
0:08:21 > 0:08:26Wide, with distorted legs.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Oblique, he goes.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Oh, bravo!
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Henceforth, uncle, you shall be Vulcan.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38While I...
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Well...
0:08:41 > 0:08:44What am I?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46But Ulysses...
0:08:46 > 0:08:52returning home to witness the shame and degradation of his household.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Cassius?
0:08:57 > 0:09:01Did you ever see a sight as sad and degrading as this?
0:09:01 > 0:09:06- Shall I arrest them, Caesar? - No, let them indulge themselves a while longer.
0:09:06 > 0:09:10Soon, I promise you I shall flush this sewage into the Tiber forever.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Meanwhile, Jove must cleanse himself in battle.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20I have sworn to fight a war against the Germans that will end
0:09:20 > 0:09:26in their total annihilation, and I shall bring back much booty to Rome, fill her coffers, enrich her purse.
0:09:27 > 0:09:32Cassius, order the detachments, and raise the levies.
0:09:34 > 0:09:39I go to forge in the white hot fires of war
0:09:39 > 0:09:45a new and tempered spirit of Rome that will last 1,000 years!
0:09:49 > 0:09:50Good girl.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52KNOCKING
0:09:55 > 0:09:56Claudius.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59I've got a little gift for baby.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Claudius.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02BABY CRIES
0:10:02 > 0:10:06- That's lovely. Show it to her.- How is she?
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Come and see.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Ah, she's very pretty.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Yeah. She looks just like you.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Come and sit down.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23So, how's Calpurnia?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26She's well. She sends her felicitations.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28I'm going to see the emperor in Germany soon,
0:10:28 > 0:10:32so I shall be able to report that you're both looking well.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Why are you going to Germany?
0:10:34 > 0:10:37- Haven't you heard? - You know they tell me nothing.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Oh, I'm not sure I should tell you.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Well, I suppose you'll hear about it soon enough.
0:10:45 > 0:10:49Well, he has informed the senate by letter that he's uncovered
0:10:49 > 0:10:53a vast conspiracy against himself in the army of the Rhine.
0:10:53 > 0:10:59Six corp commanders and the army commander himself, have been executed.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04More executions are still taking place.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Do you think there was a conspiracy?
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Who knows? Would it surprise you?
0:11:10 > 0:11:14The army commander, no. He was my father's old friend,
0:11:14 > 0:11:22my brother's corp commander, a soldier of iron loyalty. No, that's not possible.
0:11:22 > 0:11:27- Why are you going then? - The senate is sending me and two ex-consuls to congratulate him
0:11:27 > 0:11:29on the mutiny.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31As I said,
0:11:31 > 0:11:35the only lions left in Rome are in the arena.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37BABY CRIES
0:11:37 > 0:11:43I'm also to strip Livia's apartments of all their valuables and send them to him by road.
0:11:43 > 0:11:48He stresses by road. Apparently, he has a quarrel with Neptune,
0:11:48 > 0:11:50and fears the boat will sink.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54- What does he want them for? - To auction to the provincial.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56He's auctioning everything now.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59He's discovered he has a gift for it.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Claudius, what am I doing here?
0:12:03 > 0:12:08Why did he chose me for a wife? I'm ten years older than he is, not
0:12:08 > 0:12:13pretty, I was born the daughter of a night watchman, I married a baker.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- What does he see in me? - Perhaps that you,
0:12:18 > 0:12:21alone among everyone,
0:12:21 > 0:12:24truly love him.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Yes, I do love him.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30I can't explain why.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33I know he does terrible things.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40I'll tell you something.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44He is more afraid than any of us.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50Cassius.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Just been talking to that river god.
0:12:55 > 0:12:56He threatened to drown me.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Does he know who you are?
0:12:58 > 0:13:02He does now, I've just given him a severe reprimand, so shut up.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Well, the river's going down, isn't it?
0:13:05 > 0:13:08Yes, Caesar.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Your uncle is here with Marcus and Asprenas.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Let them in.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Hail, Caesar.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Lord of the heavens,
0:13:24 > 0:13:26the senate and the people...
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Where are my carts?
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- Carts?- The carts with the valuables in them.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36Oh, heaven, bless you majesty, they're coming by road.
0:13:36 > 0:13:41They'll be a few days yet. We wanted to get here sooner, so we came across the water.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46Well then, back by water you go.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47Throw them in the river!
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Merciful God!
0:13:50 > 0:13:52How dare you arrive without my carts!
0:13:52 > 0:13:54But you already said the carts should come by road!
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Throw him off on the bridge!
0:13:58 > 0:14:03Prostrate yourselves in the presence of Jove!
0:14:03 > 0:14:07How dare the senate send that idiot to congratulate me.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Have their throats cut.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13Not worthy of such a mission, the man's an imbecile!
0:14:17 > 0:14:23Save Rome from a conspiracy, and they send that clapped out crippled old clown to felicitate me?!
0:14:23 > 0:14:28Is that the respect that they give their emperor?!
0:14:31 > 0:14:33What's going on there?
0:14:35 > 0:14:36More plots.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39More conspiracies.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42I'll set my German guards on them when I get back.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46I'll burn the damn place down! It never was any use!
0:14:47 > 0:14:50I should have done that a long time ago,
0:14:50 > 0:14:53I should have had his throat cut when I was first made emperor.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57He makes a mess of everything.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Couldn't even order my brother's statues on time!
0:15:10 > 0:15:14Merciful God, we only came by sea to bring our congratulations.
0:15:14 > 0:15:19I wanted carts not congratulations!
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Up! Up!
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Up! Up! Up!
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Did I not tell you that I had had a quarrel with Neptune?
0:15:27 > 0:15:31That he plagues me all the time with his sea noises,
0:15:31 > 0:15:34stirs the river gods up against me, makes war on me everywhere?
0:15:34 > 0:15:36How dare you ride with him!
0:15:41 > 0:15:42One hopes...
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Yes...
0:15:46 > 0:15:50Perhaps you plotted with him.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52No. Merciful God...
0:15:52 > 0:15:56You and my uncle, you plotted with him on your way here.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59- No, highest one. We assure you. - What did you talk about then?
0:15:59 > 0:16:01You and Neptune?
0:16:01 > 0:16:04What did you say to one another?
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Nothing, we swear!
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Mere mortals can't talk to a god.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Perhaps he appeared to you in mortal guise, as I do.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15What did he look like?
0:16:17 > 0:16:19We never saw him.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Please believe me.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23He wouldn't plot with us.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Perhaps you're right.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32But I shall kill you just the same.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38Down! Cassius, give me your sword.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Oh, please!
0:16:42 > 0:16:45In the name of my wife, your sister...
0:16:45 > 0:16:49How dare you mention that whore to me!
0:16:49 > 0:16:53I'll show the Senate what I think of their envoys.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55I'll send you back to Rome in pieces.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58I wish hadn't thrown my uncle into the river.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01I could have done the same with him. But never mind,
0:17:01 > 0:17:03- they'll get the message.- No!
0:17:03 > 0:17:06HE CHUCKLES
0:17:07 > 0:17:13Ha ha! And where have you been, my dear, dear Vulcan?
0:17:16 > 0:17:20"Oh, I f-f-felt the thunderous might.
0:17:20 > 0:17:26"Hurl'd, headlong down from the ethereal height, breathless I fell
0:17:26 > 0:17:32"in giddy motions lost, the Sinthians raised me on the Lemnian coast."
0:17:32 > 0:17:36Let me read some more...
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Oh, by Jove!
0:17:38 > 0:17:43Well, it is almost the same by myself. This fellow knows his Homer.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46Please, Claudius, beseech the Emperor to save our lives.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49Be silent and obey!
0:17:49 > 0:17:54"Dear as you are, if Jove his arm extend,
0:17:54 > 0:17:58"I can but grieve, unable to defend."
0:17:59 > 0:18:03Look, if the next two lines are apt, then they're saved.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05If not, I'll have their throats cut.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27If oh what...
0:18:27 > 0:18:35"What, oh so daring in your aid to move, or lift his arm against the might of Jove!"
0:18:35 > 0:18:37For Jove... Y-Y...
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Me?
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Ha ha ha!!
0:18:41 > 0:18:45Oh, he has an eye for everything. Come on, get up, you're saved.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Saved by Claudius and his ready tongue.
0:18:50 > 0:18:54Come on into the other room, I will give you a blanket.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Oh, Cassius?
0:19:01 > 0:19:04What is the watchword for tonight, Caesar?
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Oh, the watchword for tonight, let me see.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11What about,
0:19:11 > 0:19:12"give us a kiss"?
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Could have been just now.
0:19:31 > 0:19:37Could happen tomorrow or the next day, to you or to me.
0:19:37 > 0:19:41But do not doubt, it will happen one day.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52Did that surprise you, the watchword that I gave to Cassius?
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Oh, I thought it was a j-j-joke.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57It was!
0:19:57 > 0:20:00But it was my joke, not his.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02I do it to annoy.
0:20:02 > 0:20:07Every time he addresses a commander of the guard, he has to say, "give us a kiss".
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Yesterday I gave him, "Touch me, Titus".
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Why, if I may ask,
0:20:19 > 0:20:21do you do that?
0:20:21 > 0:20:24- Because he is a cry-baby.- Cassius?
0:20:24 > 0:20:27I thought he was the bravest soldier in the army.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Oh, so did I, but he's not.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34I had him torture Gitunicus to get some information.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37We got no information out of him, and he died under torture.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41One of the guards told me that Cassius wept.
0:20:41 > 0:20:46Well, I was going to give him Macro's command, but I certainly didn't after that.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52How many hours a night do you sleep?
0:20:53 > 0:20:59Sleep? Er... Eight or n-n-nine, I suppose.
0:20:59 > 0:21:05- Well, I sleep barely three. - Do gods need more?
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Do you think I'm mad?
0:21:13 > 0:21:18- M-m-mad?- Yes, sometimes I think I'm going mad.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22Be honest with me, has that thought ever crossed your mind?
0:21:22 > 0:21:26Never...never.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28The idea is p-p-preposterous.
0:21:28 > 0:21:34You set the standard of s-s-sanity for the whole world.
0:21:35 > 0:21:42In that case, why is all this galloping in my head, and why do I sleep so little?
0:21:42 > 0:21:46Well, it is all mortal disguise,
0:21:46 > 0:21:53you see. The physical body is a great strain, if you're not used to it.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Which a god isn't.
0:21:55 > 0:21:59That explains, too,
0:21:59 > 0:22:01I think,
0:22:01 > 0:22:04the three hours' sleep.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08You see, undisguised gods never sleep at all.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12Yes, you're probably right.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16But then, if I am a god, which of course I am, then
0:22:16 > 0:22:18why didn't I think of that?
0:22:25 > 0:22:30Anyway, whatever the reason, it's very hard to be a god.
0:22:30 > 0:22:36Oh, you do know that I'm that all powerful god whose coming the Jews have prophesied
0:22:36 > 0:22:38- for centuries? - Oh, yes, yes you told me.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42I feel very privileged to have received that information.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45Especially as the Jews, apparently, don't know it.
0:22:45 > 0:22:50Yes, but it's prophesied that he'll die young and be hated by his own people.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53No, I can't believe that.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55No, not hated.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57It's incredible, isn't it?
0:22:57 > 0:22:59It must be true.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Uncle, I want you to come with us on this expedition.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08When we've auctioned the stuff in the carts, when they arrive,
0:23:08 > 0:23:14we shall cross the Rhine, defeat the Germans, and then we shall march
0:23:14 > 0:23:17towards the sea and I shall do battle with my old enemy, Neptune.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21Oh, what triumphs I shall have when we return to Rome.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Now, you may leave me, I have a headache.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35BUGLES BLARE
0:23:43 > 0:23:47Your Emperor is amongst you once again.
0:23:47 > 0:23:53All his wars successfully concluded, and the victorious armies brought back to Rome.
0:23:57 > 0:24:02He had thought, in his divine innocence,
0:24:02 > 0:24:06that the roads might be lined with cheering crowds.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10He had thought that the streets might be strewn with flowers.
0:24:10 > 0:24:15He had thought that there might be messages to greet him, telling him of triumphs to be awarded.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20And what did he find?
0:24:20 > 0:24:24This conqueror of the Germans, this victor over the mighty Neptune?
0:24:26 > 0:24:29The streets empty of crowds and flowers.
0:24:29 > 0:24:34No triumphs awarded, no games, no celebrations,
0:24:34 > 0:24:39but three miserable old ex-consuls waiting at the gates to greet him,
0:24:39 > 0:24:43and a roomful of cowardly stay-at-home senators
0:24:43 > 0:24:47who spend all their time in the theatre and at the baths,
0:24:47 > 0:24:51while he has spent six months living no better than a private soldier!
0:24:54 > 0:24:55Hence...
0:24:55 > 0:24:58your Emperor has returned,
0:24:58 > 0:25:02but with this in his hand!
0:25:05 > 0:25:09But, Jove, you ordered no triumphs.
0:25:09 > 0:25:14Well of course I ordered no triumphs! Do you think I'd order triumphs for myself?
0:25:14 > 0:25:17But you ordered us not to order any.
0:25:17 > 0:25:21Yes, and you took me at my word, didn't you!
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Typical!
0:25:23 > 0:25:30It didn't occur to you that I might be leaving it up to you for your love to show itself freely?
0:25:30 > 0:25:35It didn't occur to you that it might be my natural humility speaking?
0:25:38 > 0:25:42I ordered you not to celebrate.
0:25:45 > 0:25:51But you ordered celebrations for the anniversary of Actium, didn't you?
0:25:51 > 0:25:57Didn't forget to celebrate the defeat of my great-grandfather Marc Antony?
0:25:59 > 0:26:04How many bottles of wine did you open, toasting his murder while I was doing battle with the sea?
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Show them our booty!
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Show them the plunder we gathered from old Neptune.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Seashells?
0:26:25 > 0:26:29Yes, spoils of the sea.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Loot from old Neptune.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35He won't take me on again in a hurry!
0:26:42 > 0:26:49Jove, while you were away we built a new temple to you on Palatine Hill.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51That won't save you!
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Down on your knees, all of you!
0:26:53 > 0:26:57Bend your heads. I shall sever each one at the neck.
0:26:57 > 0:27:02Merciful God! Would you spoil the great day of your return by the spilling of blood?
0:27:02 > 0:27:05When they come to write the history of this memorable day,
0:27:05 > 0:27:09should they have to mix it with the memory of the death of these fools?
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Claudius is right, my lord.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13My husband.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Think of your little daughter.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18One day when she is older, she will read the account of your return.
0:27:18 > 0:27:24Must these fools intrude on such a glorious page of history?
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Your soft words
0:27:32 > 0:27:35have appeased my wrath.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38As we know,
0:27:38 > 0:27:41prayer can soften the hearts of gods.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48You may go.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51I shall inspect the temple in the morning.
0:27:58 > 0:28:03How right you were, Jove, to think of punishing them for celebrating the Battle of Actium.
0:28:03 > 0:28:07Well, you see, Marcus, I had them both ways.
0:28:07 > 0:28:12If they hadn't, they would have insulted the god Augustus, my grandfather, who won the battle.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15Agrippa was also there, and was your other grandfather...
0:28:17 > 0:28:19Marcus Vinicius,
0:28:20 > 0:28:23you are no longer my friend.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27What have I said?
0:28:27 > 0:28:31You reminded him that Agrippa was his grandfather.
0:28:31 > 0:28:35- But Agrippa was a great man! - Yes, but of very low birth.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38Such men do not produce gods, Marcus.
0:28:38 > 0:28:41Certainly not one that's capable of
0:28:41 > 0:28:43d-d-defeating N-Neptune.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52If you're no longer his friend,
0:28:52 > 0:28:54what can you be but his enemy?
0:28:54 > 0:28:56Go your own way, Cassius!
0:28:56 > 0:28:59If we all go our own way,
0:28:59 > 0:29:01we shall all end by going the same way.
0:29:02 > 0:29:10KNOCK ON DOOR
0:29:07 > 0:29:10Yes, I'm coming.
0:29:10 > 0:29:14Yes, yes. I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming!
0:29:14 > 0:29:16Claudius, don't go.
0:29:16 > 0:29:17They could be assassins.
0:29:24 > 0:29:28Who are you? What do you want?
0:29:28 > 0:29:29You're wanted at the palace.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32- Is that you, Cassius?- Yes. Hurry up.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34What's the matter?
0:29:34 > 0:29:36My orders are to fetch you at once.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39Marcus Vinicius and Asprenas too.
0:29:39 > 0:29:42Never mind about dressing, just throw on a cloak.
0:30:09 > 0:30:12How long have we been sitting here, do you think?
0:30:12 > 0:30:14About two hours.
0:30:14 > 0:30:16Must be nearly light.
0:30:16 > 0:30:21- What you think he's going to do with us?- I don't know.
0:30:21 > 0:30:24I just hope it's quick, that's all.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42Claudius, I'm sorry I've made fun of you in the past.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45It doesn't m-m-matter now.
0:30:45 > 0:30:48Will you give me your hand?
0:30:48 > 0:30:50Thank you, that's a great comfort.
0:30:53 > 0:30:56CYMBAL CRASHES
0:30:56 > 0:30:59MUSIC BEGINS
0:31:02 > 0:31:08# Whene'er the god of Night sleeps on
0:31:08 > 0:31:14# The rosy-fingered goddess Dawn
0:31:14 > 0:31:17# Tiptoes on his domain
0:31:22 > 0:31:26# And hence she flits across the sky from star to star
0:31:26 > 0:31:28# She lightens darkness where she flies
0:31:28 > 0:31:30# And blows night's candles out
0:31:37 > 0:31:41# Raging on her heels, Night treads
0:31:41 > 0:31:43# And tries to hold her fast
0:31:43 > 0:31:45# And bring her loveliness to bed
0:31:45 > 0:31:47# And ravish her at last
0:31:48 > 0:31:50# And every night
0:31:50 > 0:31:53# He once but tries to win a single kiss
0:31:53 > 0:31:57# To win a single kiss
0:32:00 > 0:32:04# Before the morning sun
0:32:04 > 0:32:08# Night will rob him of his prince
0:32:12 > 0:32:16# And now she turns
0:32:16 > 0:32:19# And Night he treads
0:32:19 > 0:32:24# On hills everywhere
0:32:24 > 0:32:30# She must awaken from their bed
0:32:30 > 0:32:37# The secret lovers there
0:32:37 > 0:32:43# But loathe to hurt They linger there
0:32:43 > 0:32:47# She hurtles them away
0:32:47 > 0:32:51# But oh, the Goddesses
0:32:51 > 0:32:58# Must hear We worship you each day
0:32:58 > 0:33:04# We worship you each day. #
0:33:10 > 0:33:13Oh, god of gods!
0:33:13 > 0:33:16Never have I witnessed a dance
0:33:16 > 0:33:21that gave me such p-p-profound spiritual joy!
0:33:21 > 0:33:27- Did you like it? - It was indescribable!
0:33:27 > 0:33:31Well, it was only a rehearsal.
0:33:31 > 0:33:35Oh, whatever will the finished performance be like?!
0:33:35 > 0:33:37Get up.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39Come here.
0:33:41 > 0:33:44What did you think of the girl?
0:33:44 > 0:33:46Oh, beautiful.
0:33:48 > 0:33:50You old lecher!
0:33:52 > 0:33:54Bring the girl back!
0:33:57 > 0:34:00I'm going to marry her to you tomorrow!
0:34:00 > 0:34:03T-t-to me?
0:34:03 > 0:34:09It would be very funny. All that loveliness married to a silly, crippled old fool like you!
0:34:09 > 0:34:12What on earth would you do with it?!
0:34:15 > 0:34:18Oh, Messalina! Come here.
0:34:22 > 0:34:25I'm going to marry you...
0:34:25 > 0:34:28to Uncle Claudius!
0:34:28 > 0:34:31And you can both come and live in the palace!
0:34:34 > 0:34:36Thank you, Caesar.
0:34:36 > 0:34:40Now, I must away to shed more light.
0:34:53 > 0:34:57Oh yeah, the watchword tonight.
0:35:02 > 0:35:06- Bottom's up! - HE LAUGHS
0:35:14 > 0:35:17I'll give you another watchword!
0:35:17 > 0:35:20Liberty!
0:35:24 > 0:35:29I-I-I-I-I'm sorry.
0:35:29 > 0:35:32Don't you want to marry me?
0:35:32 > 0:35:35Well, I...
0:35:35 > 0:35:42It's just that I'm so much older than you.
0:35:42 > 0:35:45I'd be very happy to be married to you.
0:35:49 > 0:35:54To tell you the truth, I was terrified when he brought me here.
0:35:54 > 0:35:56I thought he was going to...
0:35:58 > 0:36:01I'd feel safe being married to you.
0:36:03 > 0:36:05Do you think you could ever love me?
0:36:10 > 0:36:12I think...
0:36:12 > 0:36:17I'm in...
0:36:19 > 0:36:22l-l-love with you already.
0:36:38 > 0:36:42Well, if I'm to be married tomorrow, I must go home and get ready.
0:36:45 > 0:36:49Goodbye, Claudius.
0:36:59 > 0:37:03G-G-G-G-G-G...
0:37:09 > 0:37:11Goodbye!
0:37:19 > 0:37:25Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus, his family and friends.
0:37:43 > 0:37:51Welcome, Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus, to you, your family and your friends.
0:37:51 > 0:37:57I thank you, Messalina, for my family and my friends.
0:38:03 > 0:38:06And I thank you for myself.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15The noble senator, Incitatus.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26You know everybody, don't you?
0:38:27 > 0:38:29Find yourself a place.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35He's never been to a wedding before.
0:38:35 > 0:38:38His life has really opened up since I made him a senator.
0:38:40 > 0:38:43Let the auspices be taken.
0:38:43 > 0:38:45Kill him!
0:38:45 > 0:38:49We've talked enough. I say kill him.
0:38:49 > 0:38:51It's risky.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54You can't kill a man without taking a risk.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57Those German guards never leave him.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59There's always a way.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01But are you with us?
0:39:01 > 0:39:05Or will you wait until he offers you poisoned fruit or has your throat cut?
0:39:05 > 0:39:08It's all right for you - you're a soldier.
0:39:08 > 0:39:12Yeah. You can leave the killing to me,
0:39:12 > 0:39:14but will you help?
0:39:17 > 0:39:19He's right, Marcus.
0:39:19 > 0:39:22The longer we leave it the more certain it is we shan't survive.
0:39:24 > 0:39:28All right, but when and where?
0:39:28 > 0:39:33Tomorrow is the final day of the Games.
0:39:33 > 0:39:35Let's do it then.
0:39:35 > 0:39:38Where?
0:39:38 > 0:39:42There's a covered way at the rear of the Imperial Box.
0:39:42 > 0:39:45It's an exit you must persuade him to use.
0:39:45 > 0:39:48- How?- Find a reason.
0:39:48 > 0:39:52Tell him there are crowds out front and that they'll delay his meal.
0:39:54 > 0:39:56He'll have his German guards with him.
0:39:58 > 0:40:01Yeah, now here's the tricky part.
0:40:01 > 0:40:04Sabinus and I will be waiting outside.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07You'll be in the box with Caligula and a few friends.
0:40:07 > 0:40:12Normally, he would lead the way out, followed by his friends and the guards.
0:40:15 > 0:40:20The staircase down to the covered way is narrow.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23You must be sure to be behind Caligula.
0:40:23 > 0:40:28As he steps out into the covered way, you must stumble or drop something,
0:40:28 > 0:40:32anything to give us time to slam the gates from the outside
0:40:32 > 0:40:34and separate Caligula from the guards.
0:40:34 > 0:40:36That's all you have to do.
0:40:41 > 0:40:44And then what?
0:40:45 > 0:40:50We call on the Senate to declare a republic and put an end to this madness.
0:40:50 > 0:40:52Who dies with Caligula?
0:40:52 > 0:40:54The whole Imperial family.
0:40:54 > 0:40:59Caesonia, the child, the two sisters,
0:40:59 > 0:41:02and dear old Uncle Claudius and his new wife.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08No, I don't want that.
0:41:08 > 0:41:13We must! Whatever they think of Caligula, they won't rest until they've removed his assassins.
0:41:13 > 0:41:16None of us would be safe afterwards.
0:41:18 > 0:41:23It's Caligula alone, or not at all.
0:41:37 > 0:41:40All right, just Caligula.
0:41:47 > 0:41:49Liberty.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52And the Republic!
0:41:54 > 0:41:58I don't like it. It's dangerous to leave the others alive.
0:41:58 > 0:42:02We shan't. I'll see to that, don't worry.
0:42:02 > 0:42:06If they're in for Caligula, they're in for the lot.
0:42:06 > 0:42:10CROWD CHEERS
0:42:13 > 0:42:15Oh, damn!
0:42:15 > 0:42:18I've lost all my money! Not playing any more.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20Here my Lord, let me lend you some.
0:42:20 > 0:42:23Lend? You know how I hate running up debts.
0:42:23 > 0:42:26Oh. Well, HAVE half of my set.
0:42:31 > 0:42:34Why am I so unlucky today?
0:42:34 > 0:42:37Unless of course it's your dice we're playing with?
0:42:37 > 0:42:41My dice? Why should my dice be any different from any other?
0:42:41 > 0:42:43Well, a dice is a very personal thing -
0:42:43 > 0:42:47one man's dice might be lucky for himself and not for his friend.
0:42:47 > 0:42:49Here, my Lord, try these.
0:42:49 > 0:42:51They were sent to me by Herod.
0:42:51 > 0:42:55He claims they once belonged to Alexander the G-G-Great.
0:42:55 > 0:42:58Really? I had no idea that Alexander played dice.
0:42:58 > 0:43:02He had so many things in common with you, Lord.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05- CROWD CHEER - What is it?
0:43:05 > 0:43:08He's got the Thracian down.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11The crowd want him spared, they've turned their thumbs up.
0:43:27 > 0:43:30CROWD BOOS
0:43:32 > 0:43:36He only had one neck. I'd hack it through.
0:43:39 > 0:43:43That Thracian has lost me a lot of money over the last year.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46Alexander you say? Well, let's see.
0:43:51 > 0:43:53By jove!
0:43:53 > 0:43:56That looks promising.
0:43:56 > 0:43:58Come on, pay up everybody!
0:43:58 > 0:44:02I think I'm indebted to you uncle, you've changed my luck.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05Some dice are fit only for gods to throw.
0:44:05 > 0:44:06What about something to eat?
0:44:06 > 0:44:08Is Caesar hungry?
0:44:08 > 0:44:10No!
0:44:11 > 0:44:13Oh!
0:44:13 > 0:44:17I see what you mean! These dice were made for me.
0:44:17 > 0:44:19Come on, pay up again.
0:44:19 > 0:44:22You did me a lot of harm with those dice, Marcus.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24And I'm raising the stakes to 3,000.
0:44:24 > 0:44:26I've run out of money, Lord.
0:44:26 > 0:44:30It doesn't matter - your new wife's got plenty. I'll take an IOU.
0:44:35 > 0:44:40I've posted guards at both ends and told them to prevent anyone coming through here.
0:44:42 > 0:44:44He'll be out soon.
0:44:45 > 0:44:48I've dismissed the palace guards.
0:44:48 > 0:44:49They're all at the Games.
0:44:52 > 0:44:54Will you strike the first blow?
0:44:56 > 0:44:59Jove himself couldn't stop me.
0:44:59 > 0:45:04Well I can see you don't want to play anymore. You only like playing when you're winning.
0:45:04 > 0:45:06Shall we watch the Games for a while?
0:45:06 > 0:45:09- What about a swim and then something to eat?- I don't think so.
0:45:09 > 0:45:12I don't feel very hungry today, but I've had a wonderful morning,
0:45:12 > 0:45:16- thanks to you. Is there any small favour I could grant you?- Oh Lord,
0:45:16 > 0:45:23please regard it as a small return for the great happiness you've given me with my new wife.
0:45:23 > 0:45:27Happiness?! It wasn't supposed to make you happy, nor you her.
0:45:27 > 0:45:32- It was meant to be a joke. - Oh no, you misunderstand me.
0:45:32 > 0:45:35I'm so clumsy at expressing myself.
0:45:35 > 0:45:40What I meant was that my happiness comes from contemplating yours.
0:45:40 > 0:45:44To be the cause of so much merriment
0:45:44 > 0:45:48is the source of deepest satisfaction to me.
0:45:48 > 0:45:50Where are you going, Marcus?
0:45:52 > 0:45:55To tell the truth, Lord, nature calls.
0:45:55 > 0:45:58- It must have something I ate last night.- Don't look at me.
0:45:58 > 0:46:02If i'd decided to doctor your food you wouldn't have to wait until morning to find out.
0:46:07 > 0:46:11That's odd - he wanted to eat a moment ago.
0:46:11 > 0:46:14- His behaviour is very strange lately.- Strange?
0:46:14 > 0:46:17Nervous. What's he got to be nervous about?
0:46:17 > 0:46:21We're all nervous in your presence, Lord.
0:46:22 > 0:46:24I've never been able to understand.
0:46:27 > 0:46:30Excuse me... thank you.
0:46:38 > 0:46:41He doesn't want to eat. We'll have to put it off, it won't work.
0:46:41 > 0:46:45- Then I'll go in and kill him where he sits...- Ceasar will cut you down.
0:46:45 > 0:46:47What's that to me?
0:46:47 > 0:46:49But I'll call on you for help before they do.
0:46:49 > 0:46:51No, wait!
0:46:51 > 0:46:55I'll tell him his Greek ballet have arrived.
0:46:55 > 0:46:56He'll come out for that.
0:46:56 > 0:46:59Anything, but get him out here!
0:47:20 > 0:47:25Lord, Cassius informs me your Greek ballet is here.
0:47:25 > 0:47:27Greek ballet? Where are they?
0:47:27 > 0:47:29Waiting outside to greet you.
0:47:29 > 0:47:33Bring them in and present them. Just the boys, the girls can wait.
0:47:34 > 0:47:39Lord, they say they have prepared a dance in your honour which they wish to perform for you outside.
0:47:39 > 0:47:42Oh, in that case, we must not disappoint them.
0:47:42 > 0:47:45Shall we go and see what they've prepared?
0:47:45 > 0:47:48Lord, they're waiting at the rear. The front is too full of people.
0:47:51 > 0:47:53Well, if they're as good as people say they are,
0:47:53 > 0:47:55I might let them dance for me.
0:48:14 > 0:48:16INDISTINCT SPEECH
0:48:16 > 0:48:19The watchword, butcher, is liberty!
0:48:19 > 0:48:21HE SCREAMS IN PAIN
0:48:25 > 0:48:28No, you can't, I'm a god! You can't kill...
0:48:32 > 0:48:34Drusilla!
0:48:34 > 0:48:41I'm dying, Drusilla!
0:48:41 > 0:48:44Finish him!
0:48:44 > 0:48:47This from our wives, Jove.
0:49:01 > 0:49:04You fools! You let them get him!
0:49:04 > 0:49:08Your Empire! After them!
0:49:19 > 0:49:22BABY CRIES
0:49:22 > 0:49:26Oh, Cassius! Cassius, what's happened? Where's everybody gone?
0:49:26 > 0:49:29- BABY CRIES - Lord, the baby!
0:49:32 > 0:49:35SHE SCREAMS
0:49:38 > 0:49:42SHE GRUNTS IN PAIN
0:50:00 > 0:50:03SHOUTING
0:50:09 > 0:50:11There's some stuff in here. Hurry up, lads.
0:50:11 > 0:50:15Take what you can and let's get out before the Germans come.
0:50:17 > 0:50:19Just get anything you can take.
0:50:36 > 0:50:38- Hey, sergeant?- Yeah.
0:50:38 > 0:50:41Here's one of them.
0:50:41 > 0:50:43It's one of the assassins.
0:50:43 > 0:50:45Don't kill me, sir.
0:50:45 > 0:50:47I had nothing to do with it.
0:50:47 > 0:50:50You bastard. Kill our beloved Emperor, would you?
0:50:50 > 0:50:52Put us all out of work...
0:50:52 > 0:50:55Wait a minute! That's not an assassin.
0:50:55 > 0:50:57It's the Emperor's uncle, Germanicus' brother.
0:50:57 > 0:51:01He's harmless. Leave him alone, can't you see he's crippled? Get up.
0:51:03 > 0:51:05You see, the lads are a bit angry, sir.
0:51:05 > 0:51:08Without an emperor there's no Pretorian Guard
0:51:08 > 0:51:11and it's back to the army for the lot of us.
0:51:11 > 0:51:15- I must go and find my wife. - 'Course you must, sir. Claudus!
0:51:15 > 0:51:18Take a couple of the lads and go with this gentleman.
0:51:18 > 0:51:22- Why can't we have him for an emperor?- What?
0:51:22 > 0:51:26Old Claudius? Don't be stupid, lad. He's a simpleton, he's...
0:51:28 > 0:51:31I don't know, he's better than nothing.
0:51:31 > 0:51:35- SHOUTING AND JEERING - I don't want to be Emperor!
0:51:35 > 0:51:38I'd like to...
0:51:38 > 0:51:41You, a member of the Imperial Family, sir?
0:51:41 > 0:51:43Don't make me laugh.
0:51:43 > 0:51:45Eh, lads, we've found an emperor.
0:51:56 > 0:51:58Wait a minute!
0:51:58 > 0:51:59Just a minute, Herman.
0:51:59 > 0:52:02That's our new emperor.
0:52:03 > 0:52:04Kaiser!
0:52:06 > 0:52:09EMPEROR!
0:52:09 > 0:52:12- Ja?- Ja...
0:52:12 > 0:52:17Lift him up, lads. Long live the Emperor Claudius!
0:52:17 > 0:52:18Put me down.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20Put me down!
0:52:20 > 0:52:22Don't worry, sir, you'll get used it.
0:52:22 > 0:52:24It's not such a bad life.
0:52:24 > 0:52:26Put this on him.
0:52:27 > 0:52:33Put me down! I don't want to be an emperor. I'm from the republic...
0:52:33 > 0:52:36Don't keep saying that sir, not in front of the Germans!
0:52:36 > 0:52:38they'll slit your throat. Now come on, smile.
0:52:38 > 0:52:42Smile, that's it, look at me.
0:52:42 > 0:52:44Long live the Emperor!
0:52:44 > 0:52:49ALL: Long live the emperor! Long live the emperor!
0:52:49 > 0:52:53Long live the emperor! Long live the emperor!
0:52:53 > 0:52:58Long live the emperor! Long live the emperor!
0:52:58 > 0:53:02Long live the emperor! Long live the emperor!
0:53:14 > 0:53:17Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 2006
0:53:17 > 0:53:20E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk