0:00:45 > 0:00:46PHONE RINGS
0:00:46 > 0:00:51Hi! Hi! How's it going? You having a good one? Not working too hard?
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Listen, I thought we could just celebrate
0:00:53 > 0:00:55with a quiet night in tonight. What do you think?
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Bottle of wine, just the two of us...
0:00:57 > 0:00:58Keep it all really low key.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00I know, I'm so boring.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Guys. Can you get out, please, and bring your papers? Thank you.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Can you show him the papers?
0:01:34 > 0:01:37HE GROANS
0:01:55 > 0:01:59- Nice day for it. Who ordered some music?- How do you do?
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Go on, then, your husband, remind me what he does?
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Secretary of State for something, in the government.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14We can but hope - one day.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16At the moment, just a junior minister at the Home Office.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19That's what we need, sorting out all the villains.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21SHE SCREAMS
0:02:21 > 0:02:23And your face, it was Karl here recognised. Didn't you say?
0:02:23 > 0:02:26One of those computer magazines the other week -
0:02:26 > 0:02:29- you were on the front cover. - Oh, that. Yes. That was just...
0:02:29 > 0:02:31I developed this new fractal compression codec
0:02:31 > 0:02:34to combat generation loss through chroma subsampling.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35A lot of fuss about nothing.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Yeah...
0:02:39 > 0:02:43Lindsey Isherwood, top solutions analyst.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Voted number one in the country by experts.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48What did they call you?
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Some kind of "problem-solving genius."
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I don't think we need to go there.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56But what did Newton say? "Standing on the shoulders of giants?"
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Real, inspirational genius for me
0:02:58 > 0:03:01is when we take those very first steps into the light,
0:03:01 > 0:03:04like the day when man comes up with that very first primitive alphabet.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Or a system of smoke signals, or semaphore, you know,
0:03:06 > 0:03:09he's essentially finding new ways to repackage information.
0:03:09 > 0:03:10To reinterpret and convert it
0:03:10 > 0:03:13into simpler forms of readily-transmittable data
0:03:13 > 0:03:16that, conceptually, are the basis of all modern communication.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20Oh, God. I seem to have wandered into a Melvyn Bragg interview. Help!
0:03:21 > 0:03:23I've got two hours before my husband's back,
0:03:23 > 0:03:26first guests'll be here at seven. I'm going to have to leave you to it,
0:03:26 > 0:03:28while I go and make myself presentable.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30You need anything, just give me a shout.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01CAR HORN BEEPS
0:04:11 > 0:04:13What's happening? We all ready now?
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- Ready to rock and roll. - Ah-ha. OK, great...
0:04:15 > 0:04:18SHE SCREAMS
0:04:45 > 0:04:48CHAINS RATTLE
0:05:03 > 0:05:05DOOR OPENS
0:05:25 > 0:05:27How would that be as a birthday present?
0:05:27 > 0:05:30To have you back all in one piece, huh?
0:05:31 > 0:05:35We'll see how much your husband thinks you're worth.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42OK, we leave you now.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44You have your dinner.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Mrs Number One Solutions Analyst.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Come up with a solution to this one, we'll be really impressed.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21No, it's a tonic, Polly, to have you back among us
0:06:21 > 0:06:23after all these years.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27And he could be a lot worse, couldn't he? What's his name, Leonard?
0:06:27 > 0:06:28Jonathan?
0:06:28 > 0:06:32Still very early days of course, for the pair of you.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34And you've still got your looks.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38You won't be worrying yet about affairs and infidelities
0:06:38 > 0:06:41and everything turning stale.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45The rancid stench of adultery will be the last thing on your mind,
0:06:45 > 0:06:48as it was for me at your age.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51But of course, I've buried three husbands since then.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55- Today, we'd call them mercy killings.- Don't listen to her.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59She hasn't been sexually aroused since Eden resigned.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03Now, what do you think? Should I pour his, or will he be a while yet?
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Oh, not sure. I think after that last serving of rum
0:07:06 > 0:07:07and marmalade brulee...
0:07:07 > 0:07:12on top of the venison faggots, he just needed some fresh air.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14- Oh...- So what do we think, Laurel?
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Any chance of finishing this off before the clocks go back, or...?
0:07:17 > 0:07:22Don't rush me, Horace! You always were an impatient child.
0:07:22 > 0:07:27I don't know why we come and stay with you - you're always the same.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31Well, this will just have to do.
0:07:34 > 0:07:35"Lousewort."
0:07:35 > 0:07:4013 doubled is 26, plus 50 bonus - 76.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Yes, I'm enjoying playing this special Klingon edition.
0:07:44 > 0:07:49"Quandplex, jigaboo, cabezons, eclogite..."
0:07:49 > 0:07:52And who, or what, is a lousewort when it's at home?
0:07:52 > 0:07:56It's a small pinkish plant. Don't you know anything?
0:07:56 > 0:08:01Semi-parasitic, I think, and related to the snapdragons.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04But then, you never paid enough attention, did you,
0:08:04 > 0:08:05to botany, at school?
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Ah. You look a bit brighter now. Did you, erm...?
0:08:10 > 0:08:12I did, thank you.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Down by the river or...?
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Yep, went up onto that little bridge
0:08:16 > 0:08:18and leant over the rail - perfect spot.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24For watching your amazing bird life, Mr Greeley.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27All your egrets and mallards - wonderful.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Widgeon and teal...
0:08:29 > 0:08:31I think I saw a Grey Heron, didn't I, at one point?
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Skulking amongst the reeds.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37You'll have worked up an appetite for a Stilton barley cake.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40Actually, Heidi, it's been a lovely evening
0:08:40 > 0:08:43and lovely food, but time we were moving, do you reckon?
0:08:43 > 0:08:46Early start in the morning, and you-know-who's coming at seven.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Oh, yes. Our new cleaner, Denise.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52I tell you, talk about marriage problems.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55And I wouldn't mind, but it's all she ever goes on about.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59Every last intimate detail, as if I'm some sort of agony aunt. But...
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- Thanks for a smashing evening, all of you.- Yes, and...
0:09:05 > 0:09:09How nice to know you found our wildlife so fascinating.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13And I wonder if you also managed to spot a great-crested grebe
0:09:13 > 0:09:16out there - I'm fairly sure I heard one a few minutes ago.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Very distinctive call they have,
0:09:18 > 0:09:20rather like a sort of loud retching sound.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Very likely, Mr Greeley...
0:09:24 > 0:09:26now you come to mention it.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31SHE SNIFFS
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Well, that was a rare treat.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36It's not many meals where you can actually feel your arteries
0:09:36 > 0:09:38furring up with each mouthful.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Bring back Jack Warner and Elsie and Doris Waters.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43PHONE RINGS
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Are you going to do something about that phone of yours?
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Accidentally re-dialling all the while.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52- That's the third time this week now. - Oh, sorry, sorry.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54It's got a mind of its own.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56It's got a very sensitive keypad. I will do something about it.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01And don't you think you could just learn to be a bit more
0:10:01 > 0:10:02sociable now and again?
0:10:02 > 0:10:05You just have to make the effort sometimes, you know,
0:10:05 > 0:10:07reach out to people. And not be so quick to judge.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09SHE SIGHS
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Oh...why didn't I use that loo just now?
0:10:12 > 0:10:15It's all that coffee. Two minutes.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25CHATTER INSIDE
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Look, this really isn't funny, Heidi!
0:10:30 > 0:10:34We'll never get away with this in a month of Sundays.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36I can't go through with it, I'm sorry.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38You will go through with it!
0:10:38 > 0:10:42We have to! There's no backing out now, for either of us.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Oh, come on!
0:10:44 > 0:10:47You've got 24 hours, so just pull yourself together.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54That was quick.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00No, I didn't...
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Oh, I'll...tell you later.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13DOORBELL RINGS
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Denise, how are we this morning?
0:11:18 > 0:11:22Oh! You know, Polly. Me and Dean.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24I don't like to talk about it.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Certain things between a husband and wife,
0:11:26 > 0:11:28you really just can't talk about.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29No, no, I completely under...
0:11:29 > 0:11:31He never touches me any more.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34I mean, not in those places.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36You know the places I'm talking about.
0:11:36 > 0:11:37The front garden, public bridleways...
0:11:37 > 0:11:39And as for what happens in bed.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Don't let's even, you know, cos I couldn't, but...
0:11:41 > 0:11:44- Oh, God, no, of course! - I'd get more action in Lenin's Tomb.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Oh...
0:11:46 > 0:11:50OK, so he does night shifts at the store now,
0:11:50 > 0:11:53but you'd think we could occasionally meet in the middle?
0:11:53 > 0:11:56- So to speak.- Oh, but now! This'll interest you.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Guess what I picked up from this old bloke
0:12:01 > 0:12:03- in the back of a van yesterday.- Don't!
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Peddling all sorts of weird stuff. And bric-a-brac.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10I just thought, it's got to be, hasn't it?
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Aladdin's Lamp. Maybe my luck'll change.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16And on the bottom it's got this...
0:12:16 > 0:12:21weird little inscription. See here? "Cave Quid Optes".
0:12:21 > 0:12:25- I thought maybe you could make sense of...- Latin.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Cave quid optes.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35Idiomatically, I suppose, "Be careful what you wish for."
0:12:36 > 0:12:40What does any woman wish for? Men and money.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Excitement and wealth.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Oh, just a nice guy for a start.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48- To come into my life, and give me a good...- We get the picture.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52Well, you know, give me a good time would be nice.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54And here's where it gets spooky.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Do you know what turned up last night in my spam?
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Completely out of the blue, a link to one of these,
0:13:00 > 0:13:03what do you call them? Male escort agencies.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05So how amazing is that?
0:13:06 > 0:13:09So... But you're not seriously considering...?
0:13:09 > 0:13:12Oh, I've done it, Polly.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13It's booked.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Online, whole thing, sorted.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18You know, cos I'm thinking, "Come on, Denise!
0:13:18 > 0:13:22"This is your life! Get in!" Right?
0:13:22 > 0:13:25So...anyway, yeah.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30Tomorrow night, fingers crossed for me. I'll keep you posted.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35- I'm sure we'll both look forward to that(!)- Shh.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Oh, God, what is this?
0:13:40 > 0:13:44- What the hell is this? - I don't know. What is it?
0:13:44 > 0:13:48It looks like... You know those cameras people set up that...
0:13:48 > 0:13:51work off a sensor or whatever to take pictures of wildlife
0:13:51 > 0:13:53by remote control during the night?
0:13:54 > 0:13:58Oh, I don't believe someone's done this.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Last night, coming back from Greeley's,
0:14:01 > 0:14:03when we had to stop off by that bit of woodland
0:14:03 > 0:14:06- cos I couldn't last any longer...? - Are you joking?
0:14:07 > 0:14:09What, you mean...?
0:14:09 > 0:14:11An automatic picture of you going...
0:14:14 > 0:14:17How bad, exactly, are we talking here?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Oh.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26Wow.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29They've really raised their game with these fast lenses now.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- Check out that resolution. - Never mind the bloody resolution!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Doesn't even say who's sent it!
0:14:34 > 0:14:37There's no note inside, no message.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38I don't recognise the writing.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Someone's put this in our post box this morning!
0:14:40 > 0:14:43- Who do we know might have one of these cameras?- Round here?
0:14:43 > 0:14:45It could be anyone. They're all into that bloody malarkey.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47It could be anyone in the village.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50They're probably using it as a screensaver even as we speak.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Oh, come on, it's probably just a bit of fun.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55I wouldn't start worrying yourself...
0:14:55 > 0:14:58- it's gone viral or...- Gone viral?!
0:14:58 > 0:15:02God, you really know the right thing to say, don't you?
0:15:02 > 0:15:03I'll get the car out.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Good morning.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Jonathan?
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Sorry, I can't believe I don't even know your last name.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Daisy Shand.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34That famous evening, six years ago, with Arabella?
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Daisy Shand! You're joking! How are you?
0:15:37 > 0:15:40- Cos didn't you rock that night? - Yeah!
0:15:40 > 0:15:42I mean, just amazing!
0:15:42 > 0:15:44To say you pulled it out of the bag. Well...
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Would be one way of putting it! My God!
0:15:46 > 0:15:47BOTH LAUGH
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Cos you're a legend now in our house, I tell you
0:15:49 > 0:15:50SHE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Yes, and...hi. You might remember me. We got, what was it? Married.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56- Yes, that's right.- OK, sorry!
0:15:56 > 0:15:58This is Polly, my wife. Daisy Shand.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01And you two know each other, obviously, from...
0:16:01 > 0:16:03- Well actually, not really at all, do we?- No.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Only in the most casual sense.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07He delivered my first baby.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11OK! That kind of casual sense.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Well, you were going out with my best friend...
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- Mad Arabella, the midwife. - ..came round for a meal that night,
0:16:16 > 0:16:18and that's when it all went pear-shaped.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Well, I was pretty pear-shaped already.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23- BOTH LAUGH - Seriously bad timing,
0:16:23 > 0:16:26she'd still got her arm in a sling from that ski-ing accident.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29- Yeah.- You remember, she had to talk you through the whole thing.
0:16:29 > 0:16:30I had my eyes shut.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33- Nightmare! - We got there in the end.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35So, how is he now? Emotionally scarred for life or...?
0:16:35 > 0:16:39He's great. He's a little star, definitely.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41- And got a little sister now as well.- Wow.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Theodore's departed from the scene, but...
0:16:43 > 0:16:46- No, we're all of us really good. - Oh.
0:16:46 > 0:16:51Well, listen, you should come round, for a bite to eat.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Why don't you give me a call and we can have a proper catch-up?
0:16:54 > 0:16:58That'd be so nice! Yeah, thank you. Definitely!
0:17:02 > 0:17:04- Nice to see you.- Nice to see you, too. Nice to meet you.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07- Lovely to meet you.- Bye.- Bye. Bye.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13What?
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Oh, come on, you were the one who said I had to be more sociable
0:17:15 > 0:17:17and start reaching out to people.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20What? What?
0:17:25 > 0:17:28You couldn't make it up, could you? A weather girl!
0:17:28 > 0:17:31Yes, I think she'd only just started with the Met Office at the time.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Isn't it amazing?
0:17:32 > 0:17:36You know, I honestly didn't recognise her face at all.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Which only begs the question - which bit would you have recognised?
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Funny, isn't it, how these little nuggets from the past can
0:17:43 > 0:17:44still emerge after all this time?
0:17:44 > 0:17:48Still, I suppose it's what keeps a marriage interesting.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Now, OK with you if we dispense with the stirrups tonight
0:17:51 > 0:17:53and just go for a dining chair?
0:18:01 > 0:18:04DOOR BELL RINGS
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Oh.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16You're a...bit earlier than I was expecting.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18And you'll be Denise. I'm Kevin.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Kevin! Yes. Right.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Oh, come in.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30I will be fine. Deep breaths.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Just give me a second.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36No worries, Denise. You just relax.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39- I was just about to get in the bath, but...- Sounds like fun.
0:18:42 > 0:18:43Oh, no, definitely.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46It's like, all the data's there. What's to be sceptical about?
0:18:46 > 0:18:49I mean, cos we're tracking these things globally every day
0:18:49 > 0:18:52using general circulation models.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54And all our projections are for further temperature rise
0:18:54 > 0:18:56in the atmospheric mean.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58You can talk glaciers, you can talk hurricanes,
0:18:58 > 0:19:01you can talk precipitation, I just don't get where these people
0:19:01 > 0:19:02are coming from half the time.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04But you know what's funny?
0:19:04 > 0:19:06The other day, right, I'm reading this report
0:19:06 > 0:19:10and this headline about a "top denier briefs conference."
0:19:10 > 0:19:14In a journal of climatology? Sounded highly unlikely.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17Looked at it again, of course,
0:19:17 > 0:19:19"Top denier briefs conference."
0:19:19 > 0:19:22If you say it the right way, it does make more sense,
0:19:22 > 0:19:26- but I thought that was so funny. - PHONE RINGS
0:19:26 > 0:19:28You know when you're really struggling
0:19:28 > 0:19:30to somehow see the relevance of nylon hosiery?
0:19:31 > 0:19:34- That's funny.- I thought so. It's like it suddenly just clicked,
0:19:34 > 0:19:37denier, den-ier, you know?
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Hello? Sorry?
0:19:40 > 0:19:43Who's that? Denise?
0:19:43 > 0:19:46Hang on, slow down, slow down. You're not making any sense.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48What do you mean? What kind of tragedy?
0:19:48 > 0:19:50- SOBBING:- He's dead, Polly!
0:19:50 > 0:19:54The man I said was coming round tonight.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57It's, like, he just starting gasping and rolling his eyes.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01Obviously I thought he was enjoying himself.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03And then, all of a sudden, he just...
0:20:03 > 0:20:07went a funny colour and stopped breathing!
0:20:07 > 0:20:09SHE SOBS
0:20:10 > 0:20:13I think I'm going...to faint!
0:20:13 > 0:20:17Oh, f...! No, don't faint! Don't faint! I'll be right over!
0:20:17 > 0:20:19BOTH LAUGH
0:20:19 > 0:20:22- What's happening now? - Don't ask.
0:20:22 > 0:20:23Another crisis?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32DOORBELL RINGS
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Oh, God, Polly, what have I done?
0:20:38 > 0:20:41So, where is he? Still in there?
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Yes, and he's turned turtle now.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Oh, what am I going to do?
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Turned turtle?!
0:20:48 > 0:20:52I was trying to see if there was some way I could get hold of him.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55- I don't know!- So have you rung for the police or an ambulance?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57I can't ring the police! And say what?
0:20:57 > 0:21:00I've got a dead male prostitute in the bath?
0:21:00 > 0:21:04They'll need two ambulances, one to take me away after Dean finds out!
0:21:04 > 0:21:09He is not going to see the funny side of this. Oh...
0:21:09 > 0:21:11I think my head's going to explode.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Yes, Denise, do you think you might want to...put something on?
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Yes. Good.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Good idea. Yes.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Something soothing, calm me down,
0:21:22 > 0:21:25while I try and get my thoughts straight here.
0:21:25 > 0:21:26Clothes, Denise!
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Clothes? Very good!
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Check his pockets!
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Perhaps they could tell us something.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Ah, here we go. Envelope.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Looks like a gas bill.
0:21:39 > 0:21:44Mr K Parry, 13 Bishops Row, Lower Drayfield.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49OK, here's what we'll do.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Think I saw this somewhere,
0:21:51 > 0:21:53might have been a Cracker or a Midsomer Murders.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57We drive him home in his car, and fill up the bath,
0:21:57 > 0:21:59then we just leave him for someone else to find.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02Maybe if we could put him in a sack.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05Put him in a sack?! Are you insane?!
0:22:05 > 0:22:09We can't walk out of here with a dead body! What if someone sees us?!
0:22:09 > 0:22:12No. That is completely out of the quest...?
0:22:12 > 0:22:15What's this? Are we going to examine his prostate now?
0:22:15 > 0:22:18Dabs, Polly! We don't want to leave a soco team any presents?
0:22:18 > 0:22:21Oh, you've got all the terminology - soco, dabs.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24You watch enough of cop shows, it rubs off.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Oh, God.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Maybe Jonathan was right.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32I should have been more careful.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Dear God.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Just need to try and slide him, that's it.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Maybe we can put him on casters.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07BOTH GROAN
0:23:10 > 0:23:12SHE MUTTERS TO HERSELF
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Carefully. Slowly.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21PHONE RINGS
0:23:25 > 0:23:27- ANSWER MACHINE: - 'Hi, this is Denise and Dean.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30- 'Please leave a message after the beep.' - BEEP
0:23:30 > 0:23:32'Oh, God. Remind me never to invite
0:23:32 > 0:23:34'a strange man into my bath ever again.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37'It's not even as if we were going at it that hard.'
0:23:44 > 0:23:47SHE BREATHES DEEPLY
0:23:50 > 0:23:54OK. I think I can cope now.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58I think we're going to be all right.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00I've got a feeling... What?
0:24:02 > 0:24:05No, just... I don't know what it was.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08It was like a pink butterfly or something just went past.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10At this time of night?
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Oh, God, Polly.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Listen, you're a life saver.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17Thank you so, so much for tonight.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19But you've got to promise me, OK?
0:24:19 > 0:24:22You will not breathe a word of this to anyone.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25What are you now, Burke and Hare?
0:24:25 > 0:24:27- You realise that's completely illegal.- Is it?
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Well, it's bound to be. Everything's illegal now.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33There'll be some European Statute governing the re-immersion
0:24:33 > 0:24:37of corpses in water without their written consent - I don't know.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39What if you took him back to the wrong house?
0:24:39 > 0:24:42- Someone's in for a nice surprise in the morning.- Oh, don't say that!
0:24:42 > 0:24:47No, no, the key worked in the lock. Stop trying to scare me.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50Anyway, you're one to talk about riding to the rescue
0:24:50 > 0:24:52with damsels in distress.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Any more of your exciting escapades I need to know about?
0:24:55 > 0:24:58Performing a Caesarian on Wincey Willis
0:24:58 > 0:25:01with a Swiss Army pen-knife?
0:25:01 > 0:25:04So...what time did she leave?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08She did leave?
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Madness. Complete madness.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53SHE SIGHS
0:26:29 > 0:26:32And everything was still locked?
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Windows obviously not an option.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37It's not the sort of thing your husband would creep in
0:26:37 > 0:26:39and leave as a present?
0:26:40 > 0:26:42And he'll be back here any minute.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46Oh...God. Oh, God, Oh, God.
0:26:46 > 0:26:47Sodding lamp!
0:26:47 > 0:26:50"Men and money," did I say?
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Cos this is really starting to do my brain in now, big time.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Can you begin to guess how much it's worth?
0:26:57 > 0:26:59And this Kevin, who came round...
0:26:59 > 0:27:04Never so much as set foot in here the whole time, I can swear to that.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07I just changed the bed because... Oh, don't ask.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11Everything in the house just felt so unclean by that time,
0:27:11 > 0:27:15so I put on a complete set of fresh sheets, fresh pillow cases.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17I am telling you,
0:27:17 > 0:27:21that was absolutely not there when I went to sleep.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Where did it come from?
0:27:23 > 0:27:26It's got like a number four on the back.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28Why does that seem vaguely familiar?
0:27:32 > 0:27:37The time's completely wrong, of course, with the winder pulled out.
0:27:37 > 0:27:41Maybe deliberately stopped at that point for some reason.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44Five past one.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46What time did you get back last night?
0:27:46 > 0:27:49- 11-ish. 11:15.- Oh...
0:27:50 > 0:27:52So...who's the photographer? You or...?
0:27:52 > 0:27:55What? Oh, don't.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59If he spent less time playing with all his toys
0:27:59 > 0:28:01and bit more with me, it might've been a different story.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05I mean, what is going on here?
0:28:06 > 0:28:09A piece of priceless jewellery can't just magically
0:28:09 > 0:28:12appear from nowhere, out of thin air!
0:28:12 > 0:28:15- Can it?- Mmm.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18It's a bit of a shocker, I'll give you that.
0:28:18 > 0:28:22Why have I got the lurking suspicion we're not
0:28:22 > 0:28:26looking at a gift here, but some kind of message?
0:28:27 > 0:28:29From someone...somewhere.
0:28:29 > 0:28:31A message from who?
0:28:32 > 0:28:34And trying to tell us what?
0:28:34 > 0:28:37- FOOTSTEPS ON THE STAIRS - Oh!
0:28:40 > 0:28:45Hello, Dean. Don't think you've met Polly...and Jonathan?
0:28:45 > 0:28:48We were... We were just leaving.
0:28:50 > 0:28:53And there was nothing else, last night, when you were out?
0:28:53 > 0:28:56No-one about, when you were outside his house?
0:28:56 > 0:28:58No-one who might have been following you, or...?
0:28:58 > 0:29:02You mean like a genie of the lamp, floated through the key-hole?
0:29:02 > 0:29:04There was a butterfly at one point, but...
0:29:06 > 0:29:07Sorry.
0:29:07 > 0:29:11Flew past me outside - or it might have been a moth.
0:29:11 > 0:29:15Bit gaily coloured for a moth - it was more of a pink colour.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30- SHE TUTS - Of course!
0:29:30 > 0:29:34That's what it was. And this is where I saw it.
0:29:34 > 0:29:36That Government minister, Rowan Isherwood,
0:29:36 > 0:29:38whose wife's just been kidnapped.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40Look at this.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43Her personal monogram, LI...
0:29:43 > 0:29:45Lindsey Isherwood.
0:29:58 > 0:30:00Hang on. Pause it there.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05Oh.
0:30:05 > 0:30:06How does that work?
0:30:06 > 0:30:08They took the watch off her?
0:30:08 > 0:30:13And then miraculously planted it under the pillow of a woman,
0:30:13 > 0:30:14goodness knows how far away,
0:30:14 > 0:30:18who's got nothing to do with anything? What would be the point?
0:30:19 > 0:30:22Fairly obviously, no point whatsoever.
0:30:22 > 0:30:25Far more point if it had come from the victim.
0:30:25 > 0:30:26What?
0:30:26 > 0:30:29How desperate would you be, in her shoes,
0:30:29 > 0:30:32to send out some kind of cry for help to anyone who'd listen?
0:30:32 > 0:30:34Right, when they've got her locked up,
0:30:34 > 0:30:38chained up and handcuffed in a completely airtight dungeon?
0:30:38 > 0:30:41I mean, from the look of this, she can barely move from the spot.
0:30:41 > 0:30:44I know. On the face of it, an utterly fantastical notion.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46But what do we know about Lindsey Isherwood?
0:30:46 > 0:30:48About her famously inventive mind, her proven ability to dig her
0:30:48 > 0:30:51way out of any problem that's thrown at her?
0:30:51 > 0:30:54Clearly she's unable to speak or even write to anyone in there.
0:30:54 > 0:30:58But what if she'd managed, by some amazing, lateral process
0:30:58 > 0:31:02we can't even begin to imagine, to send some kind of coded SOS
0:31:02 > 0:31:04to the outside world?
0:31:06 > 0:31:081-0-5.
0:31:09 > 0:31:12It's not a time. It's a date.
0:31:12 > 0:31:141-0-5. The first of...
0:31:14 > 0:31:17Oh, God.
0:31:17 > 0:31:19- May Day. - PHONE RINGS
0:31:24 > 0:31:27Yeah, hello.
0:31:27 > 0:31:28Hi, Denise.
0:31:28 > 0:31:32- What now? - This is just getting so bizarre!
0:31:32 > 0:31:35I've just had a message from that escort company,
0:31:35 > 0:31:37saying that owing to incorrect information
0:31:37 > 0:31:40my credit card payment was declined.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44"And we are therefore unable to process your booking."
0:31:44 > 0:31:46They never took my money.
0:31:46 > 0:31:49- The transaction never went through. - But that means...
0:31:49 > 0:31:52No-one from that place ever came round here last night.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55Well then who was that guy who died in your bath?
0:31:55 > 0:31:57I have absolutely no sodding idea.
0:31:57 > 0:32:00Erm...
0:32:00 > 0:32:03Well, this may or may not be connected, but...
0:32:03 > 0:32:06I think we've found out who that watch belongs to.
0:32:08 > 0:32:12I gave her this. Her 35th birthday.
0:32:12 > 0:32:14This is absolutely the watch she was wearing.
0:32:14 > 0:32:16Where did you get this from?
0:32:16 > 0:32:18- Who are these people? - All right, Mr Isherwood,
0:32:18 > 0:32:21I think we have to take this step by step for now.
0:32:21 > 0:32:24Vitally important in cases like this, we manage to sort out
0:32:24 > 0:32:27the cranks and time-wasters from those with a genuine lead.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30And, incredible as it sounds, I have to tell you that we
0:32:30 > 0:32:35found an almost perfect fingerprint from your wife on the glass here.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38In fact, so perfect, it would suggest...
0:32:38 > 0:32:42She placed it there deliberately... to prove it's genuine.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44- KNOCK ON DOOR - What's the inference here?
0:32:44 > 0:32:47We know they've got her. They put out that loathsome video.
0:32:49 > 0:32:52SHE WHISPERS
0:32:52 > 0:32:53What's this?
0:32:53 > 0:32:57Found just under three hours ago among some bushes on Limbury Common
0:32:57 > 0:32:59by a lady walking her dog.
0:32:59 > 0:33:02Discarded tights in the undergrowth wouldn't necessarily raise
0:33:02 > 0:33:06an eyebrow, but...in view of the up-market brand,
0:33:06 > 0:33:08and the rather curious fact
0:33:08 > 0:33:11that a knot's been tied in the elastic at the top,
0:33:11 > 0:33:12the whole area's been sealed off
0:33:12 > 0:33:14while we carry out a thorough search.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16We've no idea, of course,
0:33:16 > 0:33:18the extent of the damage before the dog got to them.
0:33:18 > 0:33:23Either way, I don't think we should jump to any conclusions as yet.
0:33:23 > 0:33:25Let's just wait and see for the moment what exactly...
0:33:25 > 0:33:28- PHONE RINGS - Karen Addams.
0:33:28 > 0:33:30Actually, he's with me now, sir.
0:33:31 > 0:33:32Oh, really?
0:33:34 > 0:33:35Yes.
0:33:35 > 0:33:37No, no, I will. Thank you.
0:33:39 > 0:33:43The kidnappers, apparently, have released another video.
0:33:46 > 0:33:48They're saying this was shot just 20 minutes ago.
0:33:48 > 0:33:51- It seems to be more of the same. - CHAINS RATTLE
0:33:53 > 0:33:55Except now with bare legs.
0:33:55 > 0:33:57And the watch is gone!
0:33:57 > 0:34:00What the hell does it mean, all of this??
0:34:01 > 0:34:04MUFFLED SCREAMS
0:34:12 > 0:34:14Yeah. Yeah. No, that's rough.
0:34:14 > 0:34:16No, that...
0:34:16 > 0:34:18That is seriously bad news.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21No, no, appreciate it, mate. Thanks for ringing.
0:34:21 > 0:34:22Yeah, see you round.
0:34:22 > 0:34:25- "Bad news"?- Yeah, not good. Not good.
0:34:25 > 0:34:29Mate of mine from the darts club, I'd known him six years.
0:34:29 > 0:34:33- Oh, dear. Sorry.- Yeah, 32. They reckon he had a heart condition.
0:34:33 > 0:34:36He never looked after himself, did he?
0:34:36 > 0:34:40- I mean, he smoked 50 a day. - Oh...- But still no age, is it?
0:34:40 > 0:34:43One minute he's lying there, having a nice hot bath.
0:34:43 > 0:34:46Yeah, the neighbour went in this morning, apparently.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48And you know what the kicker is?
0:34:48 > 0:34:50It was only a couple of nights ago he said he'd try and pop
0:34:50 > 0:34:53round here, when he'd got a minute, have a look at your stiff clutch.
0:34:54 > 0:34:58Did you...mention that to me at all?
0:34:58 > 0:35:01Did I mention it? That was his trade, wasn't it?
0:35:01 > 0:35:06Kev Parry, car mechanic. Yeah, real choker.
0:35:07 > 0:35:10Anyway, you were a long time.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12- What was it? Three-setter? - What do you mean?
0:35:12 > 0:35:16Oh! Yes, yes. Marathon.
0:35:16 > 0:35:22Yes, that Penny's got a... demon backhand there now.
0:35:22 > 0:35:28Erm... Think I might just get in the shower...
0:35:28 > 0:35:32and then... perhaps have a lie down.
0:35:42 > 0:35:44SHE SIGHS
0:35:44 > 0:35:46Morning, Polly. Having a wee break.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50Having a coffee break? Erm, yes.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52- How are you, Mr Greeley? - Yes, fine.
0:35:54 > 0:35:57First Sunday in the month, the Photographic Club Bird Watch.
0:35:57 > 0:36:00If you go in the woods ever, up yonder, especially at night,
0:36:00 > 0:36:02there's some fascinating sights.
0:36:04 > 0:36:08If I "go" in the woods at night? Erm, not very often, no.
0:36:08 > 0:36:11Actually, while I've got you,
0:36:11 > 0:36:14something I forgot to mention the other night.
0:36:14 > 0:36:17I had a letter from a lady, through the newsletter,
0:36:17 > 0:36:19sounds very interested in your husband.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24Miss Poppy Mason, lives in Lower Thatcham,
0:36:24 > 0:36:25apparently she's an underwear model.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28She says she totally shares his fascination with unexplained
0:36:28 > 0:36:30phenomena and would love to meet up with him some time.
0:36:30 > 0:36:34- What do you think? Shall I put her in touch?- An underwear model.
0:36:34 > 0:36:36I don't think he's quite got over the weather girl yet,
0:36:36 > 0:36:41actually, so... But still, I mean, if she's that keen...
0:36:44 > 0:36:48- And how's Heidi and Laurel? Not gone back yet.- Not till next weekend, no.
0:36:49 > 0:36:52And they're both OK?
0:36:52 > 0:36:55Absolutely fine, as far as I know.
0:36:55 > 0:36:57Well, give them both my love.
0:37:06 > 0:37:10For goodness' sake, Laurel, don't be such a weed!
0:37:10 > 0:37:13I said we could do it and we did it.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15Look at me.
0:37:15 > 0:37:19It was ten hours ago and I'm still shaking.
0:37:19 > 0:37:23It was the most wretched night of my whole life!
0:37:23 > 0:37:27And I tell you this much, Heidi, never again.
0:37:27 > 0:37:33Look. We are on the verge of something, don't you understand?
0:37:33 > 0:37:36It was never going to be easy, we knew that,
0:37:36 > 0:37:39but now is not the time to lose our nerve.
0:38:04 > 0:38:05You OK?
0:38:05 > 0:38:08Yeah, yeah. Just...head full of stuff.
0:38:08 > 0:38:12This kidnap thing. The more you try and tease it out...
0:38:12 > 0:38:14Killer, isn't it?
0:38:14 > 0:38:16Every way you come at it.
0:38:17 > 0:38:21But you're still not letting go... of that theory?
0:38:22 > 0:38:26She's somehow pulled off this amazing act of teleportation
0:38:26 > 0:38:28from inside an air-tight prison cell.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31Even you couldn't manage a trick like that.
0:38:31 > 0:38:32Well, you'd be surprised.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34It's just a knack mostly.
0:38:35 > 0:38:38Throwing that one curve-ball.
0:38:38 > 0:38:40A device, an idea...
0:38:40 > 0:38:43Sometimes the simplest thing that everyone's forgotten about.
0:38:43 > 0:38:47And then once you've tumbled it, the whole miracle's blown.
0:38:47 > 0:38:49And that "curve-ball" here is...?
0:38:49 > 0:38:53Almost certainly staring us in the face, but I just can't see it.
0:38:53 > 0:38:59Well, I have to say, when that camera went in really tight...
0:38:59 > 0:39:03it was like her eyes were definitely trying to tell you something.
0:39:03 > 0:39:06- What?- Only one thing that would be of any use...
0:39:07 > 0:39:10- ..where they're hiding her. - Would she even know?
0:39:12 > 0:39:14OK, so what have we got?
0:39:14 > 0:39:18Watches under pillows, a pair of ripped tights found on the common...
0:39:18 > 0:39:21That had a knot tied in the waistband.
0:39:21 > 0:39:24Suggesting...the elastic's gone?
0:39:24 > 0:39:28I don't know, that she's lost weight and they're too loose?
0:39:28 > 0:39:30Struggling on this one.
0:39:31 > 0:39:32Struggling...
0:39:34 > 0:39:38..to see the relevance of nylon hosiery.
0:39:38 > 0:39:40That what she said?
0:39:40 > 0:39:43Daisy, when she was here, the other night.
0:39:43 > 0:39:48And, "If you say it the right way, it does make more sense."
0:39:48 > 0:39:53A knot in the waist. Waist knot.
0:39:53 > 0:39:55I don't know. Maybe I'm scraping the barrel here.
0:39:55 > 0:39:57But bearing in mind this is someone
0:39:57 > 0:39:59that has got almost nothing to work with.
0:39:59 > 0:40:01Can only pray that someone else, somewhere,
0:40:01 > 0:40:03will be able to fathom the clue.
0:40:05 > 0:40:06What do you think?
0:40:06 > 0:40:07Waist knot...
0:40:09 > 0:40:10..might just refer to...
0:40:12 > 0:40:13And this is how many?
0:40:13 > 0:40:16About 1½ miles from their house.
0:40:16 > 0:40:18Corporation recycling centre.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23Hardly be holding her there, but...
0:40:23 > 0:40:24maybe somewhere close by?
0:40:27 > 0:40:30No more than a glimmer I suppose, but something to sleep on, at least.
0:40:32 > 0:40:35Oh, you've not forgotten Mr Greeley's coming tomorrow?
0:40:35 > 0:40:39To pick up those logs I said we'd let him have.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41He said something to me this morning about some woman
0:40:41 > 0:40:43who'd been in touch with him.
0:40:43 > 0:40:45Seemed very keen to meet you.
0:40:47 > 0:40:50An underwear model of all things, think he said.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53Oh, yeah, he did mention something.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55I said, fine, as we're not due in till lunchtime,
0:40:55 > 0:40:58if he wanted to bring her along when he came.
0:40:58 > 0:40:59A quick chat over a cup of tea.
0:40:59 > 0:41:02Sent me a slightly strange text back, actually.
0:41:02 > 0:41:04"No problem. Sure I can arrange it.
0:41:04 > 0:41:06"Expect she'll be thrilled to meet you!!!"
0:41:06 > 0:41:09- With three exclamation marks. - Why strange?
0:41:11 > 0:41:12The exclamation mark
0:41:12 > 0:41:15is the typographical equivalent of a red nose,
0:41:15 > 0:41:19invariably used to make a weak joke appear faintly amusing.
0:41:19 > 0:41:22But where's the joke here? I can't see it.
0:41:22 > 0:41:25Maybe tomorrow all will become clear.
0:41:47 > 0:41:50How long you been using this?
0:41:50 > 0:41:53- Sorry?- "Protein-enriched, anti-wrinkle rejuvenating serum.
0:41:53 > 0:41:56- "Eliminates bags under eyes." - Oh, yes. Complete crap of course.
0:41:56 > 0:42:01Ten past. I thought they'd be here by now.
0:42:01 > 0:42:04Who's that? CAR HORN BEEPS
0:42:04 > 0:42:06Oh. Talk of the devil.
0:42:09 > 0:42:13- Morning. You well? - Yes. Morning.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15- You on your own?- Oh, no, no, no.
0:42:15 > 0:42:17She's here. She's just still in the van,
0:42:17 > 0:42:19if you want to come and say hello.
0:42:27 > 0:42:29There we go.
0:42:29 > 0:42:31I've watched this one mature, of course,
0:42:31 > 0:42:35from the tiniest chick into this rather splendid specimen,
0:42:35 > 0:42:39and I count myself very fortunate to have her on the doorstep.
0:42:39 > 0:42:42Erm...yeah. Slightly lost me.
0:42:42 > 0:42:46I can let her out if you want to inspect more closely.
0:42:46 > 0:42:47But we'll have to box clever
0:42:47 > 0:42:50in case she suddenly takes flight - they're a devil for that.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53Mr Greeley, what are you talking about?
0:42:53 > 0:42:56Why in heaven's name would I want to inspect it more closely?
0:42:56 > 0:42:58Well, as you specifically asked me to bring her along,
0:42:58 > 0:43:02- I naturally assumed... - Asked you to bring her along?
0:43:02 > 0:43:05Well, I don't think I imagined it, did I?
0:43:05 > 0:43:08Yes, strange as it may seem, I'm not in the habit of inviting
0:43:08 > 0:43:11semi-domesticated water-fowl round for morning coffee.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14What kind of nincompoop do you take me for?
0:43:14 > 0:43:19"Hi Mr G. Re Poppy, happy to oblige. Will you arrange?
0:43:19 > 0:43:22"If at all poss, could you bring heron Monday?"
0:43:22 > 0:43:26Well, quite patently I missed the space out!
0:43:26 > 0:43:29- It's a tad of a non-sequitur, wouldn't you say?- Well, I'm sorry.
0:43:29 > 0:43:32I was under the impression you took an interest in these things.
0:43:32 > 0:43:34If you knew how long it took me this morning
0:43:34 > 0:43:36to round this one up in the garden.
0:43:36 > 0:43:38It was only by the grace of God and three large tins of sardines
0:43:38 > 0:43:42- I eventually managed... - Mr Greeley, I despair.
0:43:42 > 0:43:44I completely and utterly despair.
0:43:48 > 0:43:49I'm not laughing.
0:43:49 > 0:43:52Really and honestly, I do empathise.
0:43:52 > 0:43:54Cos that must have been so disappointing!
0:43:54 > 0:43:56SHE LAUGHS
0:43:56 > 0:43:58Poor thing.
0:43:58 > 0:44:02Was expecting to meet a serious ornithologist and what happens?
0:44:02 > 0:44:06Should be grateful, I suppose, he didn't let it out.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08There's no telling where it might have ended up.
0:44:16 > 0:44:19BIRD CROWS
0:44:21 > 0:44:23Don't worry.
0:44:23 > 0:44:25I'm sure we can pop Poppy Mason
0:44:25 > 0:44:28back in the diary again for you...very soon.
0:44:35 > 0:44:38INAUDABLE CHATTER
0:44:54 > 0:44:57"The rancid stench of adultery."
0:44:57 > 0:45:01- Excuse me?- Givenchy, can you believe, didn't go for it?
0:45:01 > 0:45:03They're a tough nut to crack.
0:45:04 > 0:45:08As it happens, she may have just come up with a crucial piece in the
0:45:08 > 0:45:11jigsaw that conflates rather neatly with something on that map.
0:45:16 > 0:45:19If we look at that corporation recycling centre,
0:45:19 > 0:45:21the spot where those tights were found,
0:45:21 > 0:45:24and that house you both went to
0:45:24 > 0:45:27where our poor friend Kevin lived, what do you notice?
0:45:27 > 0:45:29They're all in a straight line. And?
0:45:31 > 0:45:34What does that prove?
0:45:34 > 0:45:37For the moment, nothing.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40But it does at least tell us where to look.
0:45:52 > 0:45:55Do you want to wait here? I may be a while.
0:46:27 > 0:46:29(Oh!)
0:46:31 > 0:46:33(Oh!)
0:46:44 > 0:46:46Jonathan?
0:46:48 > 0:46:50Jonathan?
0:46:50 > 0:46:52SHE SCREAMS
0:46:52 > 0:46:55Sorry about that! Dead branch.
0:46:55 > 0:46:57What the hell are you doing?!
0:46:57 > 0:47:00Hopefully, trying to shed some final light
0:47:00 > 0:47:02on this whole rather fantastic affair.
0:47:04 > 0:47:07Yes!
0:47:07 > 0:47:09Got you, you bugger.
0:47:09 > 0:47:11What have you found? What is it?
0:47:11 > 0:47:13One thing it's not is a pink butterfly.
0:47:13 > 0:47:17But it does, I think, tell us everything we need to know about
0:47:17 > 0:47:20Lindsey Isherwood's teleportation trick.
0:47:22 > 0:47:24It's the remains of a balloon.
0:47:26 > 0:47:31The whole idea, talking about birds, that we might be looking at some
0:47:31 > 0:47:36kind of airborne delivery system, was immediately seductive.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39And once I'd locked in the fact that she'd been blowing them up
0:47:39 > 0:47:40that day for the party...
0:47:42 > 0:47:46There was only one train of events that made it all work.
0:47:48 > 0:47:51CHAINS RATTLE
0:48:20 > 0:48:24Putting the watch inside would identify the sender,
0:48:24 > 0:48:26but there had to be something else
0:48:26 > 0:48:28that would draw attention to the balloon
0:48:28 > 0:48:31and provide some kind of clue to the location.
0:49:03 > 0:49:06Raging gales would have helped it on its way.
0:49:08 > 0:49:13Till, as we know, the tights and balloon parted company...
0:49:13 > 0:49:15halfway across the common.
0:49:18 > 0:49:21Final port of call,
0:49:21 > 0:49:24the tree outside Kevin's house, where it bursts.
0:49:24 > 0:49:26BALLOON POPS
0:49:26 > 0:49:29And the rest of what happens just really has to flow from that.
0:49:43 > 0:49:44- What?- What?
0:49:44 > 0:49:46No, I don't know what it was.
0:49:46 > 0:49:49It was like a pink butterfly or something just went past.
0:50:15 > 0:50:17And just to cover all bases, of course,
0:50:17 > 0:50:20you confirmed the direction of the wind that night.
0:50:20 > 0:50:22With someone who knows about these things.
0:50:27 > 0:50:29Of course, it's quite possible I misread that whole thing with
0:50:29 > 0:50:31the recycling centre, but...
0:50:33 > 0:50:36Does feel a bit of a needle in a haystack job.
0:50:40 > 0:50:44If we're assuming it was something she could see from that window...
0:50:44 > 0:50:48It could be anywhere, I suppose, within a radius of miles.
0:50:48 > 0:50:49Where do you start?
0:50:50 > 0:50:53Not quite enough there for basic triangulation.
0:50:59 > 0:51:01But then, look at her options.
0:51:01 > 0:51:04She's done everything humanly possible.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06I guess there was nothing else of any value she could tell us.
0:51:11 > 0:51:16That other video, where she seemed to be rubbing her knee.
0:51:16 > 0:51:17There was a second clue...
0:51:19 > 0:51:21..we never spotted...
0:51:21 > 0:51:24cos the way that dog had been had distracted us.
0:51:26 > 0:51:28From a hole in the knee.
0:51:29 > 0:51:30A ripped knee...
0:51:30 > 0:51:32a tear in the knee...
0:51:33 > 0:51:35..a torn knee...
0:51:38 > 0:51:40Oh.
0:51:40 > 0:51:42Unbelievable.
0:51:43 > 0:51:45What?
0:51:51 > 0:51:54And that second reference point turned out to be the breakthrough.
0:51:54 > 0:51:56Two locations well known to the victim - the pub
0:51:56 > 0:51:58and the recycle centre - would have been visible only from one
0:51:58 > 0:52:02very narrow section of the surrounding countryside.
0:52:03 > 0:52:07SIREN BLARES
0:52:07 > 0:52:10INDISTINCT SHOUTING
0:52:17 > 0:52:19Stay as you are!
0:52:35 > 0:52:37- Officers!- Armed police!
0:52:58 > 0:53:03Well, I think all that deserves a little celebration of some kind.
0:53:03 > 0:53:06I thought we could try out that new pizza place tonight.
0:53:06 > 0:53:08What do you reckon? Live entertainment,
0:53:08 > 0:53:09we can stuff ourselves silly.
0:53:09 > 0:53:11I might buy us a bottle of champagne.
0:53:11 > 0:53:15Yes, go on! Pat on the back, I think you've earned it.
0:53:15 > 0:53:18I don't know about that other woman, but you've certainly saved my life.
0:53:18 > 0:53:22You know just when you're starting to doubt your own sanity?
0:53:22 > 0:53:25Yes. So how are things then now, Denise, with you and Dean?
0:53:25 > 0:53:28- Seem to have settled down a bit? - Well...
0:53:28 > 0:53:32I don't want to tempt fate, but, so far, just lately,
0:53:32 > 0:53:34things have been, picking up, let's say.
0:53:34 > 0:53:37But you've not come clean with him yet, about...?
0:53:37 > 0:53:39Oh, God, no!
0:53:39 > 0:53:43Fingers crossed, that is one stupid, tragic episode,
0:53:43 > 0:53:45he will never need to know about.
0:54:02 > 0:54:04- ANSWERING MACHINE: - You have three new messages.
0:54:04 > 0:54:07BEEP
0:54:10 > 0:54:13Listen, these last few days...
0:54:13 > 0:54:16Sorry if I've been a bit, you know.
0:54:16 > 0:54:17Women get these paranoias.
0:54:18 > 0:54:21So you're definitely OK about seeing Daisy again?
0:54:21 > 0:54:24Cos she was so keen to have us round. And one thing she can do is cook.
0:54:24 > 0:54:26Absolutely. No, of course. It'll be great.
0:54:26 > 0:54:28Yeah, cos the "rancid stench of adultery".
0:54:28 > 0:54:31- Where did that one come from? - Oh, no.
0:54:31 > 0:54:33- That was just something that... - MICROPHONE FEEDBACK
0:54:33 > 0:54:36OK, folks, time to settle down now
0:54:36 > 0:54:39for our Friday Night Open Mic entertainment.
0:54:39 > 0:54:41Will you give a very warm welcome please to
0:54:41 > 0:54:46a charming new double act, Heidi and Laurel?
0:54:46 > 0:54:51APPLAUSE
0:54:52 > 0:54:55Good evening. We are thrilled to be here!
0:54:55 > 0:54:59- As you can see, I'm beside myself. - LAUGHTER
0:55:01 > 0:55:05We are not, as you might think, identical twins.
0:55:05 > 0:55:07I'm identical, but she isn't.
0:55:08 > 0:55:12I've always been the one who takes all the risks.
0:55:12 > 0:55:15You see, wasn't born till three hours after her.
0:55:15 > 0:55:17Always afraid to stick her neck out.
0:55:23 > 0:55:25Well this is a turn up for the books!
0:55:26 > 0:55:28Although...
0:55:31 > 0:55:34This really isn't funny, Heidi.
0:55:34 > 0:55:37We'll never get away with this in a month of Sundays.
0:55:38 > 0:55:41I can't go through with it, I'm sorry.
0:55:41 > 0:55:44So where to next? The Bellagio, Vegas?
0:55:44 > 0:55:47See? I said she'd got a sense of humour.
0:55:47 > 0:55:51You know, she would never have sent it the other day - that photograph.
0:55:51 > 0:55:53Photograph?
0:55:53 > 0:55:56We'd only set it up the night before.
0:55:56 > 0:55:59and it seemed such a coincidence.
0:55:59 > 0:56:01Did you not realise
0:56:01 > 0:56:04from the little word balloon and everything?
0:56:04 > 0:56:05Word balloon.
0:56:09 > 0:56:12We just thought, what were the chances?
0:56:12 > 0:56:15With it coming up on the scrabble board like that.
0:56:21 > 0:56:24No.
0:56:24 > 0:56:26No, that was a coincidence.
0:56:27 > 0:56:29Anyway...
0:56:29 > 0:56:30Enjoy the rest of your evening.
0:56:30 > 0:56:33Yes, you too. Great set.
0:56:33 > 0:56:36And I love the way you didn't go for the obvious name -
0:56:36 > 0:56:37Laurel and Heidi.
0:56:37 > 0:56:39- Laurel and...?- Oh!
0:56:40 > 0:56:43There's a thought.
0:56:43 > 0:56:46BOTH MUTTER
0:56:48 > 0:56:50So there you go.
0:56:50 > 0:56:52Worrying over nothing.
0:56:53 > 0:56:56Hang on. What's this?
0:56:57 > 0:56:59Oh! Yes!
0:56:59 > 0:57:02She pressed it into my hand just as we were coming out.
0:57:02 > 0:57:06Had quite enough of "magic wishes" for the time being, I think, so...
0:57:06 > 0:57:07Why anyone would ever believe that stuff?
0:57:07 > 0:57:09HE LAUGHS I know!
0:57:09 > 0:57:11PHONE BEEPS
0:57:14 > 0:57:17Oh, God.
0:57:17 > 0:57:18- What?- Oh, that's terrible.
0:57:18 > 0:57:22Daisy. Said she came home last night from work,
0:57:22 > 0:57:24found her whole place had been flooded!
0:57:24 > 0:57:26Burst pipe or something from the flat above.
0:57:26 > 0:57:30She said she stepped inside, slipped over and broke her leg.
0:57:30 > 0:57:33- She's going to be on crutches now, for three months.- Oh, dear.
0:57:36 > 0:57:40Well, that's put the kibosh on our plans.
0:57:40 > 0:57:42Anyway...