0:00:01 > 0:00:04- I've got a pen pal. Did William tell you?- No.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06This fellow I was at school with.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08I did ask her out once.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10- Did you?- CHUCKLING:- Yeah.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13- It turns out Judith's a bit of an alcoholic.- You want to come back?
0:00:13 > 0:00:15You're lucky I let you have owt to do with him!
0:00:15 > 0:00:18You're lucky that you've not had him taken off you.
0:00:18 > 0:00:22CELIA: 'I would be delighted to meet you in Skipton on Monday.'
0:00:22 > 0:00:25I thought I might buy you a few beers. Again.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29- Tell me about when my dad died. - It wasn't an accident. She killed him.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32I'm very fond of you.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35I just don't think I can do this any more.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38You told Michael bloody Dobson of all people!
0:00:38 > 0:00:40- Idiot.- Snotty bitch.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42BOTH: We're getting married.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34BACKGROUND CHATTER
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Well, you don't have to say anything, obviously.
0:01:42 > 0:01:43When?
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Well, we'd... we'd not worked out the details.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- We haven't had time. - THEY CHUCKLE
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Well, you needn't look so worried.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55I'm not. I'm, er...
0:01:55 > 0:01:59I've just had quite a long day, one way or another,
0:01:59 > 0:02:01so I'd just quite like to, um...
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Gosh, well, this is, er...
0:02:05 > 0:02:08- Where's your car? - Yeah. Oh, the police have got it.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11- What about yours?- The RAC have taken it to a garage.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13In Harrogate?
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Well, didn't they offer you a lift?
0:02:14 > 0:02:17They're supposed to take you as well as your vehicle.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Well, they may have done, possibly. I don't know.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23I couldn't leave Alan on his own. He has a heart condition.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28Right, well, you've got each other's e-mail addresses so...
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Exactly.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Will you not stop and have a cup of tea?
0:02:32 > 0:02:34No. Sorry, Mum, I've got 1,001 things to do this evening.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38I've got the Independent Schools Inspectorate coming in, so...
0:02:38 > 0:02:40I don't mind stopping for a cup of tea.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43I wouldn't mind the loo, actually, while we're here.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Well, I'll get the girl over. They'll think we've moved in.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Sorry, Mum, I can't. My car's parked in the middle of the road.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Well, can you not find a parking space?
0:02:52 > 0:02:55No. Alan, it's been delightful.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Sorry we can't stay longer, but I really have got a lot to do.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- Well, that's a shame. - Another time, then, happen?
0:03:01 > 0:03:04CAROLINE: Absolutely. Will you say goodbye to Gillian for me?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Yes! I...I will.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10Right, well, looks like I'm being herded out.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Shall I, er...phone you in the morning?
0:03:12 > 0:03:15No, tonight. Let me know you've got back all right.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Oh, yes. Yeah, I will.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20I mean, nobody's actually congratulated us yet.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24- Shall we discuss it in the car? - Discuss it?
0:03:24 > 0:03:28Er...no, you should. She's right. Caroline's right.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Everything'll need... thinking through properly.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Won't it?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Bye, then.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Bye-bye.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44- Congratulations, Granddad.- Oh...
0:03:44 > 0:03:46- Is this Raffy?- Yes.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50- How do you do?- Isn't he grand? - Aye, he's all right, aye.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Well, I'll have to go.
0:03:54 > 0:03:55Drive safely.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Thank you. We will.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00And you. Ta-ta.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03Bye-bye.
0:04:11 > 0:04:16It's been quite a day, hasn't it, one way and another?
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Bloody hell, Granddad! Married?
0:04:36 > 0:04:39How have you managed that?!
0:04:39 > 0:04:41I'm not entirely sure.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Well, God alone knows what they must think about us!
0:04:47 > 0:04:49You could have stopped and had a cup of tea.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Get in.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01We're serious, you know. We're serious about getting married.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Whatever.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05I know you think I'm crackers.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Mum, I don't think anything. I don't have time to think anything.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- Have they gone?- Yeah.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18What the hell on earth are you playing at?!
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Did you not like her?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Like her? But I don't know her. You don't know her.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- You haven't seen her for 60 years. - Well, I liked her.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28The daughter strikes me as being a bit high-maintenance, though.
0:05:28 > 0:05:29She stood you up.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- Apparently not. - She had you on then.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33How do you know she's not having you on now?
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- What happened was... - And that bloody daughter!
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Oh, don't get me...started. Trailer trash?
0:05:38 > 0:05:39- What happened was...- Bitch!
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- What happened was...- Dad. Don't want to know how she's twisted it
0:05:42 > 0:05:46and tried to make you believe black's white. Cos you know what happened. You told me.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49I'll tell you later.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51You needn't bother.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16- See you!- Ditto!
0:06:35 > 0:06:40So, you were indiscreet with Michael bloody Dobson?
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- What did you say to him? - I was just a bit tearful.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48I was hiding in the book room and he came in.
0:06:48 > 0:06:53- Yes, and what did you say to him? - He asked me why I was...and I said
0:06:53 > 0:06:56because I'd been seeing somebody and that that somebody had dumped me,
0:06:56 > 0:06:59and then I accidentally said "she" instead of "he",
0:06:59 > 0:07:01and he said, "Oh, God, is it someone from here?"
0:07:01 > 0:07:03and he wouldn't let it drop after that.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- Did you say my name?- Look...
0:07:06 > 0:07:08- Did you say my name?- Yes.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11What exactly did you tell him?
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Just...
0:07:13 > 0:07:16You're going to have to say it.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19..that we kissed twice.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Look, he's a mate. I wouldn't have told him otherwise.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26He's not going to say anything. Are you cross?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33BELL RINGS
0:07:33 > 0:07:34No.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41KEYPAD BEEPS
0:07:43 > 0:07:45PHONE RINGS
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Hello?
0:07:51 > 0:07:53'Good morning.'
0:07:53 > 0:07:55I thought I might pop over.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01- Yoo-hoo!- Oh...
0:08:01 > 0:08:02- DOOR SHUTS - Is anybody in?
0:08:02 > 0:08:06- Celia! - John. Are you busy?
0:08:06 > 0:08:11I've just got to the bit where Prothero, that's the main central...character,
0:08:11 > 0:08:13has just discovered his best friend's
0:08:13 > 0:08:15been sleeping with his mother for the last 15 years.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19Oh, dear. Has he, with his own mother?
0:08:19 > 0:08:21No. No, no. With Prothero's mother.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Oh, well. There we go.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Um...could you give me a lift to the garage if you're not doing anything?
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Only they've sorted me out
0:08:30 > 0:08:33a little courtesy car, and I've got to get over to Halifax.
0:08:33 > 0:08:39Did... Did Caroline explain that I've moved back in?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Yeah, yeah, she did.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Good.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45The thing is, it's delicate.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Yeah.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56Oh, I made a mistake, Celia. I should never have left her.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58I've made such a bloody mess of things.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01She's put me in the spare room, which is fine, you know.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03It's...it's...
0:09:04 > 0:09:06The thing is, obviously, if you felt inclined,
0:09:06 > 0:09:09if...if you could put in a good word...
0:09:10 > 0:09:14..for me...with her. You see, she listens to you.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17- Huh! When?!- No, she does.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Happen once a flood, if it suits her.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23I just want everything to get back to normal, Celia.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28- What do you think about my news? - What news?
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Me and Alan.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- Celia's rung. - Fan belt's gone again.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40- She's popping over.- When?- Now.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- What for?- Well, because there's stuff to discuss.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Raff came home from school yesterday...
0:09:47 > 0:09:49asking questions about when Eddie died.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51What sort of questions?
0:09:51 > 0:09:52Oh...
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Why yesterday?
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Because Robbie turned up outside the school.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00- Saying stuff.- What stuff?
0:10:00 > 0:10:03The usual crap.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08But what if he gets it into his head to start talking about...
0:10:08 > 0:10:10other things, like...
0:10:11 > 0:10:13..what really happened.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16He wouldn't be that daft, surely?
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Robbie?
0:10:19 > 0:10:23He'll have messed with Raffy's head more than yours, surely.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25He knows that.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27I don't think he cogitates that far, Dad.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34She actually coming here, specifically,
0:10:34 > 0:10:36as opposed to, you know, here in general?
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Yeah, yes, here.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43Cos you do realise, to fresh eyes, the place does look like a dump?
0:10:52 > 0:10:54- DOOR CLICKS - Caroline?
0:10:54 > 0:10:57I've got your husband on the phone. He says it's urgent.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58Put him through.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04PHONE RINGS
0:11:05 > 0:11:06John.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08You didn't tell me your ma's getting married.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10- Something happened?- 'Yeah.'
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Your mother's getting married.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15- Sorry, is this urgent? - It's delightful.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19It's nonsense. It won't happen. They... You know what she's like.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22It... She's all for something one minute,
0:11:22 > 0:11:25then half an hour, ten minutes later, she's gone completely off it.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29- It's like when she wanted to... buy a fax machine.- 'Well, I don't know.'
0:11:29 > 0:11:31She's driving over to Halifax to see him.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34- When?- 'Now.'
0:11:34 > 0:11:35She's picked up a little hire car.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37My mother has hired a car?
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Well, no, it's a little courtesy car.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Look... God, she'll get lost.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44No, it's got a little sat-nav thingy on it...in it.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47'And the bloke showed her how it works so...'
0:11:47 > 0:11:48Did she take her mobile?
0:11:48 > 0:11:51I don't know. Probably.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Don't you think it's...
0:11:53 > 0:11:55- What?- 'I don't know.'
0:11:55 > 0:12:00Life-affirming. Properly, you know, proper.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Uplifting. Good.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06What it's all for, really.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Caroline?
0:12:12 > 0:12:14I don't know.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18- I don't know. Look, I've got to go. - Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?
0:12:18 > 0:12:21KNOCK AT DOOR I... No.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24- DOORBELL RINGS - Someone at the door. I'd better go.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27- Bye.- Bye.- Bye.
0:12:30 > 0:12:31Judith?
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- Hello, Michael.- Could I...
0:12:36 > 0:12:38- see you?- Yes, of course.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Beverley's there if you want an appointment.
0:12:40 > 0:12:41I meant, er...
0:12:43 > 0:12:44...now.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47- What's it about?- Well...
0:12:47 > 0:12:49it's...
0:12:50 > 0:12:51Sure.
0:12:59 > 0:13:00- Kate.- Kate.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02What about her?
0:13:02 > 0:13:06She has...been saying things.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Things that perhaps you ought to be aware of.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15OK. So...
0:13:17 > 0:13:19..she implied...
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Hmm. She said,
0:13:21 > 0:13:25and, you see, it's not just me that she may be saying these things to,
0:13:25 > 0:13:29and...it could be damaging...
0:13:30 > 0:13:34..to you if any governors
0:13:34 > 0:13:36or parents, et cetera,
0:13:36 > 0:13:38or...or...
0:13:39 > 0:13:40..one of your two boys...
0:13:42 > 0:13:44..even,
0:13:44 > 0:13:46for instance,
0:13:46 > 0:13:48got wind of...
0:13:49 > 0:13:50What do you want, Michael?
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Bigger budget for your Hands Across Europe project?
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Head of department when Mrs Aspinall moves on?
0:14:01 > 0:14:05Look... I can be...discreet.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Sod off, you little prick. Do you really think you can humiliate me?
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Go for it, genius. Spread a few rumours.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16It'll say more about you than it ever will about me. This is 2012.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19I'm single. She's single. We're adults.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22We had a fling. The ladies have landed.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Quite a long time ago, in fact. Get over it.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28She spoke to you because she was upset, and this is how you respond?
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Bad move. And shame on you, as well.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Leave the door open on your way out.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Psss-choo!
0:14:51 > 0:14:54- Did I really hurt you?- Yeah.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57God, that's appalling.
0:14:57 > 0:14:58Yeah.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Did it hurt?
0:15:06 > 0:15:09I suppose "sorry" doesn't even start to...
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Well, you know, it's complex. I understand that.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Judith, I'm not entirely comfortable about you being here in Caroline's kitchen.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22- Why? Is she here? - No, of course not. She's at work.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24- No-one's here.- It is your kitchen, though, isn't it?
0:15:24 > 0:15:28- As much as it is hers? - You take the point.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30- I want you to come back.- No.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32I don't want to be like this any more.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36Well, yes, of course you don't, and you shouldn't, but...
0:15:39 > 0:15:41..Judith, I'd have left anyway.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44- Why?- Because it had run its course.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48You think you can just pick people up like that, and then just drop them?
0:15:48 > 0:15:52Well, certainly when people start hitting people, yes.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54It makes it more of an option.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00- Why have you come back here? - We went through this.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03- Did we?- It's where I belong.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05You always said it stifled you.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07I think I've come full circle with Caroline.
0:16:07 > 0:16:12I don't get it, because we were so good and happy and exciting together.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15And you like a drink just as much as I do.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19Not...quite as much as you do.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22I just...
0:16:22 > 0:16:25I just don't know what I've got to look forward to, John.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27I'm serious.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29I'm 43 years old,
0:16:29 > 0:16:31and...I'm between jobs,
0:16:31 > 0:16:37and my life just lurches from one embarrassing mishap to the next.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40And I'm bored!
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Bored of wondering what the point is.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50SHE SOBS
0:17:02 > 0:17:05- What you doing? - ALAN: I've been in the attic.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06- Oh, have you?- Yeah.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Up that bloody old ladder? You know you're not supposed to go up...
0:17:09 > 0:17:12- HE GRUNTS - Let me have that.- No, I can manage.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14You sit down. Come on, down here.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16- It's all those old photos. - Yeah, yeah, I know what it is.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20Oh, my God. I haven't seen this for years.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Me neither. It were under a load of stuff.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- You should have shouted me. - Yeah.
0:17:25 > 0:17:26I was only in the yard.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30You know you're not supposed to go hoicking stuff around.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32I was certain I had a picture of her.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36There were a few of us in a row, sitting on a bench,
0:17:36 > 0:17:38up at t'park in Elland.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41- Oh, look. It's Ma.- Ah.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44How old would she have been there?
0:17:44 > 0:17:48Well, that's, er... What does it say on t'back?
0:17:48 > 0:17:501953.
0:17:50 > 0:17:5516. There, you see. That's round about the time that I last saw Celia.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Ah, she's younger than Raffy.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59- Oh, aye.- Isn't she pretty?
0:17:59 > 0:18:00Ah, she were lovely.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04- Oh, my God. - HE LAUGHS
0:18:04 > 0:18:07I've not seen this for years. Your wedding photo.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Oh, weren't you both lovely?
0:18:11 > 0:18:13We ought to have this up somewhere.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15In a frame.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19- Blimey. Look at my mother's dress. - Hey, now, then.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23School photo. We'll all be on here - me, your mum and Celia.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Let's have a butcher's.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Oh, my God.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Look at all them shorts and little knees.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Yeah, yeah. Eeh, that's me.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- Look.- Ah!
0:18:34 > 0:18:38- Aren't you sweet? - Hey, here, what you on about?
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- I looked manly.- I meant...I meant manly. I said "manly".
0:18:42 > 0:18:46You don't look manly, Dad. You're 12 years old.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Hey, there's Eileen and there's...
0:18:49 > 0:18:52It is. That's her, that's her. That's Celia.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Ah.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57And that's Doreen Wilkinson in between.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02He's dead.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05He's dead.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09She died.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13- He went down south.- Mm.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Right, look, I... I'd better get on.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19Mm? Oh.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Are you going to tidy it up, or are you not bothering?
0:19:22 > 0:19:24- Well, I thought I'd tidied.- Did you?
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Oh, OK.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- But is it not...- No, it's fine.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Right, enjoy. Ta-ra.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Ha.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Oh...
0:19:40 > 0:19:42DOOR SHUTS
0:19:45 > 0:19:47CHATTER AND LAUGHTER
0:19:52 > 0:19:55LAUGHTER ECHOES
0:19:55 > 0:19:57KNOCKING AT DOOR
0:20:19 > 0:20:20Hello.
0:20:22 > 0:20:26I lay awake half the night, wondering if I'd dreamt it.
0:20:26 > 0:20:27- So did I.- Did you?
0:20:27 > 0:20:34Well, no. It were more laying awake wondering if I'd got the wrong end of the stick.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38I tidied up.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41You've got a lovely view.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Oh, it's bitter in winter.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46Have you given any thought as to where we might live?
0:20:46 > 0:20:50We've a few options. There's my little house up Barkisland.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53There's my flat at Caroline's.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56- Then there's here. There's room. - Oh.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58- Would your Gillian like that? - Oh, aye.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01I have money in the farm, so she couldn't really object.
0:21:01 > 0:21:05- Not that she would. - Well, I'm the same.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08They'd never have been able to buy that big house in Harrogate without my input.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10If we did want to live in my little house,
0:21:10 > 0:21:13I'd have to give Darren and Kimberley a month's notice -
0:21:13 > 0:21:14the tenants.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Which I'd do, but they've just had a baby.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Oh.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25What were you saying about car insurance on the phone?
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Oh. Well.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30What Steve said, Steve at the garage...
0:21:30 > 0:21:32- What's he got to do with insurance?- Oh, nothing.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36He was just saying that because I drove into the back of your vehicle,
0:21:36 > 0:21:40at my age, not only might they bump up my premiums,
0:21:40 > 0:21:44they might refuse to insure me altogether another time.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47It's my only little bit of independence, this driving,
0:21:47 > 0:21:50so, I was wondering...
0:21:50 > 0:21:51I won't claim.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54- I mean, I will pay for the damage. - No, you won't!
0:21:54 > 0:21:57- Oh, I will. - Do you fancy arguing about it?
0:21:57 > 0:21:58Over lunch, out?
0:21:58 > 0:22:02Gillian says we can take the Land Rover. She doesn't need it this aft'.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Or there's my little courtesy car.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07- We have too many decisions. - We're spoilt for choice.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12Well, I've never been in a Land Rover.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Oh, it's right uncomfortable.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19# No, sir, I could tear apart MCs
0:22:19 > 0:22:22# But I'd rather read a book on childcare by Kerry Katona
0:22:22 > 0:22:24# No niceness, cos I ran out of it Dumb it down a bit
0:22:24 > 0:22:26# Ain't something I'm prepared to do
0:22:26 > 0:22:27# Cos I ain't ever gonna run out of lip
0:22:27 > 0:22:30# Here's something... # ENGINE STOPS
0:22:30 > 0:22:32SHE SIGHS
0:22:32 > 0:22:34CAR DOOR OPENS
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Ooh!
0:22:41 > 0:22:44HE LAUGHS
0:22:44 > 0:22:45I tell you what, Gillian,
0:22:45 > 0:22:47there's something about you bending over in a field
0:22:47 > 0:22:49that makes me almost unable to contain myself.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Piss off, Paul.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56You give the nod, and I'll be over this wall and up behind you before you can say,
0:22:56 > 0:22:59"You ought to be posing in magazines with one that size, Paul."
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Move along now.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06I keep hoping you'll text me.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09- How weird.- You know you like it.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14There anybody in at your house?
0:23:15 > 0:23:18- Why?- Got a half hour.
0:23:18 > 0:23:19HORN BEEPS
0:23:25 > 0:23:26HE CHUCKLES
0:23:28 > 0:23:29Ain't that your Land Rover?
0:23:31 > 0:23:33SHE SIGHS
0:23:35 > 0:23:36Half an hour?
0:23:36 > 0:23:39- CELIA:- Of course, there is another option.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- ALAN: Is there?- Yeah.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44When we're married, we won't need both cars, will we?
0:23:44 > 0:23:49So, why don't we trade them both in and buy something we've always fancied?
0:23:49 > 0:23:52- Well, did you have summat in mind?- Yeah.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55I daren't tell you what. You'll think I'm crackers.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01DOOR OPENS
0:24:01 > 0:24:03DOOR CLOSES
0:24:11 > 0:24:14TV IS ON
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Hello. Are you the taxi?
0:24:33 > 0:24:36Dad? Dad!
0:24:36 > 0:24:38What? Yes?
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Shit. William?
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Er...this is... What are you... what are you doing here at this time?
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Revision.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50A levels. Exams, middle of.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54- That's right, er... Judith, this is William, my eldest.- Hello.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58- William, this is... - What's she doing here?
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Nothing, nothing. Honestly, nothing, William. It's fine.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03DOORBELL RINGS
0:25:03 > 0:25:05- That'll be my taxi.- Great.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- Will it?- Oh, my God. - PHONE RINGS
0:25:07 > 0:25:10- You're disgusting. It's really nothing...- Shall I answer the door?
0:25:10 > 0:25:13- How much have you had to drink? - I think I will.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16PHONE RINGS
0:25:19 > 0:25:23Judith has...a bit of a problem.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25- SHE has?- Yeah.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27- Point taken, but... - She shouldn't be in this house.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29- PHONE RINGS - Let...let me just...
0:25:33 > 0:25:35I'll just... Can you...?
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Hello?
0:25:37 > 0:25:41- John, it's me.- Hi! Hello!
0:25:41 > 0:25:44'I was thinking, um...'
0:25:44 > 0:25:48maybe we should go out together sometime, and, um...
0:25:48 > 0:25:52'talk about things and, er...'
0:25:54 > 0:25:56...try and find a proper way forward.
0:25:56 > 0:26:00Great. Yes. Good.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Not tonight. I've just got far too much on.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05But, um...some time.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08No, no, fine. That's...that's fine.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11- Right, then.- I'd...I'd like that.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Right.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Right.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26- Bye, then.- Bye.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Bye-bye. LINE GOES DEAD
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Has she gone?
0:26:41 > 0:26:46It'd be, like, really good if you didn't mention this to Mum...
0:26:46 > 0:26:48- Huh! - ..because, honestly, I was...
0:26:48 > 0:26:51I was just trying to get rid of her. William.
0:26:53 > 0:26:54DOOR SHUTS
0:26:57 > 0:27:00Was Caroline all right when you drove home last night?
0:27:00 > 0:27:01Caroline? Yeah.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Yes, I think so.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08- She seemed preoccupied. - She always is.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13I suppose it was a bit of a shock for 'em both.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17I don't think Caroline's happy.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20- What? About us?- About anything.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23She's married to this...John.
0:27:23 > 0:27:28Oh, he can be quite entertaining but he's a complete waste of space.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32He works at the university in York.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34When it suits him.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36And he writes novels.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Published, but...
0:27:38 > 0:27:40they're nowt.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45He went off with another woman.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Judith.
0:27:47 > 0:27:51So, Caroline was working full time and bringing up two boys on her own.
0:27:53 > 0:27:57And then he just waltzes back in, and she lets him.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00You can't say anything.
0:28:00 > 0:28:04No, the fella our Gillian was married to, Eddie, he was a wrong 'un.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06Was he?
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Dead ten years, but he still manages to do her head in.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12- How?- Ooh.
0:28:14 > 0:28:18You know I said he died in an accident on the farm?
0:28:18 > 0:28:19Yeah?
0:28:19 > 0:28:22Well, it wasn't an accident.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25He killed himself.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27- Oh, no.- Volatile.
0:28:27 > 0:28:31Drank too much. Always short of money. She thought the world of him.
0:28:32 > 0:28:37I could see why people were drawn to him, but I never was.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39He was a bully. Yeah, and a coward.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Still, he's not there now.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46So...
0:28:46 > 0:28:49But the lad doesn't know.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52We always let him believe that it was an accident.
0:28:53 > 0:28:56- You being seen to? - Er...I, um...
0:28:56 > 0:29:01Yeah, we'd like to test-drive this car, please.
0:29:02 > 0:29:06- What, now?- Er...ideally, yes.
0:29:08 > 0:29:11Right, OK, yeah. And... and are you looking to buy?
0:29:11 > 0:29:14Yeah, th-that...that's the idea.
0:29:15 > 0:29:20- And is it part exchange? - Yes, yes, that...that's the plan.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24OK, Mr and Mrs...
0:29:24 > 0:29:27What makes you think we're married?
0:29:30 > 0:29:31Er...
0:29:31 > 0:29:34Ow!
0:29:34 > 0:29:36HE LAUGHS
0:29:39 > 0:29:41Right.
0:29:41 > 0:29:43Come on.
0:29:44 > 0:29:45Bugger off.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54Yeah.
0:29:56 > 0:29:58Till next time.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13(You twat.)
0:30:15 > 0:30:18It was unfortunate yesterday, I think.
0:30:18 > 0:30:22Our Gillian and your Caroline seemed to get off on the wrong foot.
0:30:22 > 0:30:24He thinks we're time-wasters.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27- Who does?- Yond.
0:30:27 > 0:30:30Happen if we had a little do, like a little engagement...
0:30:30 > 0:30:33Well, they'd be forced to speak to each other.
0:30:33 > 0:30:34They'd rise to the occasion.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36Well, why not?
0:30:36 > 0:30:39It's always nice to have an excuse for a party.
0:30:40 > 0:30:43Why would we waste his time?
0:30:43 > 0:30:46He thinks we're silly old buggers who've nothing better to do of an afternoon.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48Well, happen we should invite him.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51That'd guarantee it'd go with a right swing.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53Him and his face. Ey up.
0:30:58 > 0:31:01So, Mrs Dawson...
0:31:01 > 0:31:05I spoke to Steve in Harrogate,
0:31:05 > 0:31:07and based on what he's telling me, minus the cost of the damage,
0:31:07 > 0:31:12we can offer you 5,500 part-ex on your A-Class, so you'd be looking to pay...
0:31:12 > 0:31:1421,500.
0:31:18 > 0:31:1921,500.
0:31:20 > 0:31:22You still want a test-drive?
0:31:22 > 0:31:25It's 10,750 each.
0:31:31 > 0:31:33It depends.
0:31:35 > 0:31:36On what?
0:31:36 > 0:31:39On if you can give it to me for 21.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42And if you can have it ready for Saturday afternoon.
0:31:42 > 0:31:44Only it's our engagement party.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50Mum, where are you?
0:31:50 > 0:31:55- 'Are you all right?' - Yeah, I'm with Alan in Halifax. - 'What?'
0:31:55 > 0:31:58- What are you doing in Halifax? - Nothing.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01- Are you all right? - Yeah, never better.
0:32:04 > 0:32:08Right, well, er...drive carefully.
0:32:08 > 0:32:12- Yeah, I will. Bye-bye.- Bye.
0:32:12 > 0:32:15- Bye-bye! - THEY CHUCKLE
0:32:31 > 0:32:33LAUGHTER
0:32:35 > 0:32:37I've put the kettle on. I saw you pulling in.
0:32:37 > 0:32:40- Hello.- What you been up to?
0:32:40 > 0:32:43Um...nothing.
0:32:43 > 0:32:45Hey, who was that you were chatting to this morning?
0:32:45 > 0:32:48Oh, Paul Jatri. I made a cake.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50- Oh, Susan Jatri's lad? - It's coffee and walnut.
0:32:50 > 0:32:52- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:32:52 > 0:32:55Isn't he getting married to Neil Cresswell's girl?
0:32:55 > 0:32:59- I believe so. - Oh, it looks lovely.
0:32:59 > 0:33:02We got off on the wrong foot yesterday, Celia.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04- I'm sorry. - Oh, no, love. It wasn't your fault.
0:33:04 > 0:33:09No, I meant more me and Caroline got off on the wrong foot.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11And I'm sorry.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14I shouldn't have pulled into that parking space, because she was indicating,
0:33:14 > 0:33:19only I...I was panicking, wondering if he, my dad, was all right and...
0:33:19 > 0:33:23Perhaps you could tell her that I'm sorry and that I apologise
0:33:23 > 0:33:28and obviously it'd be nice if we could put it behind us,
0:33:28 > 0:33:32- given the...- Of course I will. - ..situation.- Yeah.
0:33:32 > 0:33:37- Good.- Hey, we were thinking about having, um, a little engagement do.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39- Great! Where?- Here.
0:33:39 > 0:33:41On Saturday, this Saturday.
0:33:41 > 0:33:42Fantastic.
0:33:42 > 0:33:44And, look...
0:33:44 > 0:33:47congratulations. I should have said it yesterday.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49But, you know, it was just...
0:33:50 > 0:33:52..so unexpected.
0:33:53 > 0:33:55I'll get the...
0:34:09 > 0:34:12Drive safely.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18- So, what have you been up to? - Nothing.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22I've been thinking.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26Happen I ought to tell Raff...
0:34:26 > 0:34:28about Eddie.
0:34:30 > 0:34:33Happen it's time. And then he knows.
0:34:33 > 0:34:36And I won't be terrified
0:34:36 > 0:34:39about him hearing it, like a sledgehammer, from anyone else.
0:34:39 > 0:34:41HE SIGHS
0:34:41 > 0:34:44What?
0:34:44 > 0:34:46No.
0:34:46 > 0:34:47I think you're wise.
0:35:06 > 0:35:10- I'm cooking.- No shit, Sherlock.
0:35:10 > 0:35:14How...how...how were the inspectors?
0:35:14 > 0:35:16Good. Very good.
0:35:16 > 0:35:18Good. So they should be.
0:35:18 > 0:35:20How was your history paper?
0:35:22 > 0:35:24You all right?
0:35:24 > 0:35:26Yup.
0:35:26 > 0:35:30- Now, Mum has got some news for everyone.- What?
0:35:30 > 0:35:34- Have I?- You're not pregnant? - Oh, don't be stupid. I'm 45.
0:35:34 > 0:35:36- What, then?- What news?
0:35:36 > 0:35:39- Celia.- Oh, Granny's getting married.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41- How?- To Alan?- Who?
0:35:41 > 0:35:44Apparently. It won't happen.
0:35:50 > 0:35:53- Not an accident? - WIND HOWLS
0:35:53 > 0:35:55That's what t'coroner said.
0:35:57 > 0:35:59Why did he...
0:36:03 > 0:36:06Obviously that's something I've thought about...
0:36:06 > 0:36:07a lot.
0:36:08 > 0:36:11But you know what? At the end of the day,
0:36:11 > 0:36:14you can never know why somebody gets that far down the line.
0:36:14 > 0:36:16Not if they won't talk about it.
0:36:18 > 0:36:20Even someone you're that close to.
0:36:21 > 0:36:23We all have demons.
0:36:23 > 0:36:26DOOR BANGS IN WIND
0:36:27 > 0:36:28And most people...
0:36:29 > 0:36:33...cope with them, put up with them.
0:36:35 > 0:36:36Demons?
0:36:36 > 0:36:39Things about ourselves that we don't like.
0:36:41 > 0:36:42Can't cope with.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45Things we've done.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49How we've behaved.
0:36:51 > 0:36:54Well, you know he had a temper and...
0:36:55 > 0:37:00He had a lot of wonderful things about him, your dad, he really did.
0:37:02 > 0:37:04But he had this darker side as well and...
0:37:07 > 0:37:09But you mustn't worry about it.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11You're not like him, not in that respect.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14You're much more like my dad.
0:37:14 > 0:37:16You're kind.
0:37:18 > 0:37:19Thoughtful.
0:37:20 > 0:37:21Balanced.
0:37:25 > 0:37:26You all right?
0:37:35 > 0:37:39I didn't want you hearing it from Robbie. That's all.
0:37:39 > 0:37:40And, you see...
0:37:42 > 0:37:45..that's another reason Robbie doesn't like accepting what really happened.
0:37:47 > 0:37:48He thought the world of Eddie.
0:37:49 > 0:37:51His big brother.
0:37:54 > 0:37:56And Eddie left him behind.
0:38:05 > 0:38:08DOOR SHUTS
0:38:09 > 0:38:12We're having a little do next Saturday.
0:38:12 > 0:38:14You know, like an engagement party?
0:38:14 > 0:38:19At Gillian and Alan's house...farm. And everyone's invited.
0:38:22 > 0:38:24Come in and sit down.
0:38:38 > 0:38:41Why are you rushing into this?
0:38:42 > 0:38:44I suppose that's what it must seem like to you.
0:38:44 > 0:38:48Well, how else could it seem to anyone?
0:38:50 > 0:38:53I've been in love with him for 60 years.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56That's not rushing.
0:38:56 > 0:38:59He was 16 the last time you saw him.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02People...alter.
0:39:03 > 0:39:06How do you know, just on a practical level...
0:39:06 > 0:39:08- Mm?- ..how much money he's got, for instance?
0:39:08 > 0:39:11Oh, he's not badly off.
0:39:11 > 0:39:14He has a pension from the company that he worked for.
0:39:14 > 0:39:18He was a floor manager at Jessops Chemicals in Huddersfield.
0:39:19 > 0:39:21OK, good.
0:39:21 > 0:39:24He owns his own house, which he rents out and has an income from.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27And he put quite a bit of money in the farm.
0:39:27 > 0:39:30- He's not short. I'm not daft. - Oh, Mum, I know that.
0:39:30 > 0:39:33- You've never been daft. - Well, then?
0:39:33 > 0:39:35Well, it's what I want.
0:39:35 > 0:39:37What I've always wanted.
0:39:39 > 0:39:43I know him better than I know myself. Can you understand that?
0:39:46 > 0:39:47Well, sort of.
0:39:48 > 0:39:50Almost.
0:39:51 > 0:39:53That's very...
0:39:53 > 0:39:55What?
0:39:55 > 0:39:57Touching.
0:39:59 > 0:40:00Articulate.
0:40:02 > 0:40:06Just think, if I'd married him and not your dad, I'd have...
0:40:06 > 0:40:07Not have had me.
0:40:10 > 0:40:14Oh, I think I would. I think I'd always have had you.
0:40:15 > 0:40:20I was just thinking how much happier life would have been.
0:40:22 > 0:40:26Gillian says she's sorry that you and her got off on the wrong foot,
0:40:26 > 0:40:29and she hopes you can both put it behind you.
0:40:30 > 0:40:34She's all right, you know. Heart's in the right place.
0:40:35 > 0:40:38She's had things to deal with as well.
0:40:40 > 0:40:41As well as who?!
0:40:44 > 0:40:45You, you twit.
0:40:54 > 0:40:57KNOCKING AT DOOR
0:41:00 > 0:41:03- Are you ready? - CAROLINE: Hmm?
0:41:09 > 0:41:12I was... Sorry.
0:41:12 > 0:41:16Just wondering, as regards me being in the spare room...
0:41:16 > 0:41:19and so forth. Not that...
0:41:19 > 0:41:22Look, I know...I know it's early days
0:41:22 > 0:41:25but - and I'm not suggesting, obviously, that we should have...
0:41:25 > 0:41:27- have...have...- Sex?
0:41:27 > 0:41:29- ...yet.- Well, good.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31- No, but... - SHE SIGHS
0:41:31 > 0:41:33I did this stupid thing.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36Sorry?
0:41:38 > 0:41:40I said this stupid thing.
0:41:40 > 0:41:43When I met Gillian, I...
0:41:44 > 0:41:46I didn't know it was Gillian.
0:41:46 > 0:41:50I had a sort of spat with her before Alan introduced us
0:41:50 > 0:41:52- and I...- What? What did you...
0:41:52 > 0:41:54I called her an idiot and then I...
0:41:56 > 0:41:58I called her brain-dead lowlife trailer trash.
0:41:59 > 0:42:01She stole my parking space. It wasn't funny.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03That's what I love about you. You're so...
0:42:03 > 0:42:07- What? - Snotty and arrogant and glorious!
0:42:07 > 0:42:10The point is, I'm not looking forward to this party.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13- Did you apologise?- No, I...
0:42:13 > 0:42:16ran off when she went to the loo.
0:42:16 > 0:42:20These things are never as bad as you think they are.
0:42:20 > 0:42:23No, this...was.
0:42:23 > 0:42:26- Damn, I wish I'd been there. - I am going to apologise to her.
0:42:26 > 0:42:28That would be the grown-up thing to do.
0:42:34 > 0:42:35Maybe...
0:42:35 > 0:42:39you could start...sleeping in here...
0:42:40 > 0:42:42..again.
0:42:47 > 0:42:50Tonight? Or...
0:43:15 > 0:43:17So, we're turning left just here, just coming up.
0:43:17 > 0:43:19Well, the sat-nav's saying it's in another six miles.
0:43:19 > 0:43:22Yeah, well, take no notice of that. You want to go this way. Here!
0:43:22 > 0:43:25- What, this?- Yes.- Are you sure?
0:43:25 > 0:43:27This is the way Alan always comes.
0:43:27 > 0:43:29I think I'd rather do what the sat-nav's telling me.
0:43:29 > 0:43:33Well, bugger what the sat-nav's telling you. This is it. I'm telling you.
0:43:33 > 0:43:34OK.
0:43:34 > 0:43:36- I do know what I'm talking about. - Good.
0:43:36 > 0:43:40- As long as we're going the right way.- I feel sick. - Feel sick or going to be sick?
0:43:40 > 0:43:44- JOHN:- I need a wee.- John, there's plastic bag in the pocket at the back of the seat.
0:43:44 > 0:43:46- You'll have to hang on for a wee. - THUD
0:43:46 > 0:43:49- Oh, shit! Oh! - Mum, can you drive properly?
0:43:49 > 0:43:51- I beg your pardon? - I'm not kidding, I'm throwing up.
0:43:51 > 0:43:53Do not throw up. Nobody NEEDS to throw up.
0:43:53 > 0:43:59There is a plastic bag in the pocket, if somebody chooses to look for it properly!
0:43:59 > 0:44:01- Why doesn't Dad drive? - Oh, yes, that'll help matters(!)
0:44:01 > 0:44:04I have looked for it properly. Are you sure this is the right road, Celia?
0:44:04 > 0:44:07- Um...- It had better be. That's all I can say.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09- Oh, I think... Oh... - Have you found that bag?
0:44:09 > 0:44:10- There is no bag. - There is a bag!
0:44:10 > 0:44:13- There is always a bag! - Go off-road, Mum.
0:44:13 > 0:44:16- Put it into four-wheel drive. - No, Mum, don't.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18I am not going off-road.
0:44:18 > 0:44:20Do you know how to put it in four-wheel drive?
0:44:20 > 0:44:22Course I know how to put it in four-wheel drive.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24Does she heck as like! She never needs four-wheel drive.
0:44:24 > 0:44:26I told her when she bought it.
0:44:26 > 0:44:28Yeah, well, it's a good job I've got it now, isn't it?
0:44:29 > 0:44:31Where the hell are we, Mother?
0:44:31 > 0:44:34- I'm just trying to find something I recognise.- (Jesus.)
0:44:35 > 0:44:37- Can we have some music on?- No.
0:44:37 > 0:44:40- Let's sing.- Let's not bother.
0:44:40 > 0:44:41Ooh, she's getting stroppy.
0:44:41 > 0:44:43- You'll be getting out in a minute. - Yeah, shut up.
0:44:43 > 0:44:44- You shut up. - Both of you, shut up.
0:44:44 > 0:44:47Don't you tell me to shut up. Bastard.
0:44:49 > 0:44:51- Er...stop the car! - TYRES SCREECH
0:44:54 > 0:44:56VOMITS
0:45:21 > 0:45:23- GILLIAN:- They're here!
0:45:23 > 0:45:25Raff!
0:45:26 > 0:45:27Raff!
0:45:30 > 0:45:33Oh! What have you done to your face?
0:45:33 > 0:45:35- Nothing. I fell over.- When?
0:45:35 > 0:45:37Coming back from Oggy's last night in t'dark.
0:45:37 > 0:45:39- OK, shall we?- Sure.
0:45:39 > 0:45:41Twit.
0:45:42 > 0:45:45Oh, look at this.
0:45:45 > 0:45:47This is... Wow.
0:45:49 > 0:45:50- Hello!- Hello!
0:45:50 > 0:45:54- You made it.- Yes.
0:45:54 > 0:45:57- Oh! Mm.- Ha-ha-ha! Oh!
0:45:57 > 0:45:58Mwah!
0:45:58 > 0:46:00- Oh, hello, Caroline! - Alan.
0:46:00 > 0:46:04- And this...this is John.- John.
0:46:04 > 0:46:06- Hello.- And John, this is Gillian.
0:46:06 > 0:46:08- Gillian. Fantastic. - Hi.
0:46:08 > 0:46:09Now, which is William?
0:46:09 > 0:46:13The lad we have to thank for putting his granny on Facebook.
0:46:13 > 0:46:15Nice to meet you.
0:46:15 > 0:46:17- And this is Lawrence.- Lawrence.
0:46:17 > 0:46:19- Hello, Gillian. - And this is my grandson.
0:46:19 > 0:46:21- Hiya, mate, nice to meet you. - Come inside.
0:46:21 > 0:46:23I'm so sorry I was rude.
0:46:23 > 0:46:27It was, er...inexcusable and unnecessary,
0:46:27 > 0:46:30and I am sorry.
0:46:30 > 0:46:34You were worried about your mother. I know. I...I was worried about him.
0:46:34 > 0:46:38- I'm sorry too.- This is beautiful!
0:46:38 > 0:46:43Yeah, we're lucky. I struggle to make ends meet sometimes, but I wouldn't swap it.
0:46:43 > 0:46:46Do you want to come in? We've got the kettle on.
0:46:46 > 0:46:48Fantastic. Thank you.
0:46:48 > 0:46:50And you managed to find us all right, did you?
0:46:50 > 0:46:51Yeah, yeah, after a bit of...
0:46:51 > 0:46:53THEY ALL CHATTER
0:46:53 > 0:46:55There's a boy at my school called...
0:46:55 > 0:46:57- Thank you. - ...Scotty...
0:46:57 > 0:46:59- Yes, Scott the rotter. - Scotty the rotter!
0:46:59 > 0:47:01- I know him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Now...
0:47:01 > 0:47:05I've, er...I've prepared a little bit of something.
0:47:05 > 0:47:08Ooh, I think Alan's going to make a little speech.
0:47:08 > 0:47:10- GLASS CLINKS - Speech! Speech!
0:47:10 > 0:47:13- CHATTER CONTINUES - Shut up, noise-boxes. Him, not you.
0:47:13 > 0:47:15- Why me? - Well...
0:47:15 > 0:47:16Boys!
0:47:17 > 0:47:20- Go on, Dad.- Er...thank you.
0:47:20 > 0:47:24OK, well, um... I...I...
0:47:24 > 0:47:28First of all, I'd like to say thank you for...everyone,
0:47:28 > 0:47:35for coming to, er...celebrate with us this...this very happy and unusual event.
0:47:35 > 0:47:38Er...we...we've not fixed a date yet.
0:47:38 > 0:47:42And, er...we haven't a clue where we might live.
0:47:42 > 0:47:45- But we'll keep you posted.- Aw!
0:47:45 > 0:47:50Yeah. So... Um...I'd just like to...
0:47:50 > 0:47:54clarify. Er...
0:47:54 > 0:47:56I...I know you think we're daft.
0:47:56 > 0:47:59- We do not! - Nobody thinks you're daft.
0:47:59 > 0:48:04No. Well, rushing in, then. But, er...Celia and I...
0:48:06 > 0:48:11What happened was, I was stood on a bridge waiting for her, cos we had a date.
0:48:11 > 0:48:14This is, er...60 years ago, er...in Elland.
0:48:14 > 0:48:19And, you know, this is before we had telephones.
0:48:19 > 0:48:23And her mother had mixed her dates up and they were already flitted to Sheffield
0:48:23 > 0:48:29and Celia couldn't contact me so she, er...sent a message,
0:48:29 > 0:48:31a letter via...
0:48:32 > 0:48:34...a friend,
0:48:34 > 0:48:36um...to say sorry,
0:48:36 > 0:48:39with a new address that I could write to her,
0:48:39 > 0:48:42but I...I never got the message.
0:48:42 > 0:48:44So, um...
0:48:44 > 0:48:45Why?
0:48:45 > 0:48:49Well, cos she didn't give it to me.
0:48:49 > 0:48:50The friend?
0:48:50 > 0:48:53- Yeah. - Why?
0:48:53 > 0:48:55Just cos...
0:48:55 > 0:48:57Nasty trick.
0:48:57 > 0:49:00- Mm, well...- Who was she?
0:49:00 > 0:49:03We...we'll find a picture of her and chuck darts at it.
0:49:03 > 0:49:05THEY CHUCKLE
0:49:07 > 0:49:09It were Eileen.
0:49:12 > 0:49:13My mother?
0:49:13 > 0:49:15Yeah.
0:49:15 > 0:49:17So, anyway.
0:49:17 > 0:49:22Not that...not that anybody wants to change what's gone.
0:49:23 > 0:49:27But it's just to illustrate the fact that we're not rushing in.
0:49:28 > 0:49:31We've always had very...
0:49:31 > 0:49:34very fond feelings for one another...
0:49:35 > 0:49:37..since all that time ago and...
0:49:38 > 0:49:40..well, nothing's changed.
0:49:41 > 0:49:43So...
0:49:43 > 0:49:45That's... God, that's...
0:49:45 > 0:49:47Wow.
0:49:47 > 0:49:49That's so...
0:49:49 > 0:49:51God.
0:49:51 > 0:49:54Anyroad, to us.
0:49:55 > 0:49:56To us.
0:49:59 > 0:50:00Mum!
0:50:00 > 0:50:03There's a massive red sports car just pulled up outside.
0:50:03 > 0:50:05Looks like it cost about two million quid.
0:50:05 > 0:50:07Oh, that's us.
0:50:10 > 0:50:13We decided against an engagement ring.
0:50:13 > 0:50:17So instead we bought a car between us.
0:50:17 > 0:50:19The sort we've always fancied!
0:50:19 > 0:50:21- Yes! - Whoa-ho!
0:50:21 > 0:50:22Look at that!
0:50:22 > 0:50:23Oh!
0:50:23 > 0:50:26Oh! Oh, look! Oh!
0:50:28 > 0:50:30Grandma!
0:50:30 > 0:50:31Did you know about this?
0:50:31 > 0:50:33- Oh!- No.
0:50:35 > 0:50:37Oh! Beautiful.
0:50:37 > 0:50:39Oh!
0:50:39 > 0:50:42LAUGHTER
0:50:43 > 0:50:45Mr Buttershaw. Mrs Dawson.
0:50:45 > 0:50:48- Oh! - Can we sit in it, Granddad?
0:50:48 > 0:50:50- Well... - Yes, of course you can.
0:50:50 > 0:50:52- As long as they're careful. - Congratulations.
0:50:52 > 0:50:55Stunning! Wow!
0:50:55 > 0:50:58So, you... This is instead of an engagement ring?
0:50:58 > 0:50:59Mm.
0:50:59 > 0:51:02But you didn't let Alan pay for the whole thing?
0:51:02 > 0:51:05No, I said we bought it between us. Hope they're not trailing mud in.
0:51:05 > 0:51:08- GILLIAN:- So... Blimey!
0:51:09 > 0:51:12- How much did it cost, then, Dad? - Yeah, enough.
0:51:12 > 0:51:15CAROLINE: So, just to clarify, you don't know when,
0:51:15 > 0:51:18or, let's be honest, if you're going to get married, but you've just spent...
0:51:18 > 0:51:20- There is no if. - ..silly money buying a car
0:51:20 > 0:51:23that you're going to need a hip replacement to get in and out of.
0:51:23 > 0:51:24Oh, stop being so negative.
0:51:24 > 0:51:27- Do you like it?- Yeah, yeah.
0:51:27 > 0:51:31I think my mother probably would have liked one and all, Dad.
0:51:31 > 0:51:34- Oh. Police.- GILLIAN:- Now what?
0:51:39 > 0:51:42- Afternoon.- How do?
0:51:42 > 0:51:43Are they the strippers?
0:51:43 > 0:51:45(Stop it.)
0:51:45 > 0:51:48- Nice car.- What do you want? - Gillian.
0:51:48 > 0:51:51Is there summat up?
0:51:51 > 0:51:53Just need to have a little chat with Raffy, that's all.
0:51:53 > 0:51:55- What for? - What have you done to your face?
0:51:55 > 0:51:57- He fell over.- Where?
0:51:58 > 0:52:01- Down Ripponden. - Do you know a Paul Jatri?
0:52:03 > 0:52:05No.
0:52:05 > 0:52:07Well, he reckons he knows you.
0:52:07 > 0:52:10He's been in saying that you assaulted him last night.
0:52:10 > 0:52:13Yeah? Well, he shouldn't have been saying stuff, should he?
0:52:13 > 0:52:15What stuff?
0:52:16 > 0:52:19I'm arresting you on suspicion of assault.
0:52:19 > 0:52:21- You're not!- You don't have to say anything,
0:52:21 > 0:52:23but it may harm your defence if you don't mention when questioned
0:52:23 > 0:52:25something you later rely on in court.
0:52:25 > 0:52:27You're not arresting him.
0:52:27 > 0:52:29- He's assaulted someone. - He's your nephew.
0:52:29 > 0:52:31It'll just be a bit of a caution, that's all.
0:52:31 > 0:52:33Inspector Hatfield'll just need to have a bit of a word with you.
0:52:33 > 0:52:35- A bit of a caution?- Yeah.
0:52:35 > 0:52:38If he was provoked, which it sounds like he was.
0:52:38 > 0:52:41CAROLINE: Look, perhaps...should we...
0:52:41 > 0:52:43- should we be getting off? - No.
0:52:43 > 0:52:47No, no, no. Look, look, this is Celia and Alan's little party. We can't have this.
0:52:47 > 0:52:48We can't just take off.
0:52:48 > 0:52:50The thing is, Officer,
0:52:50 > 0:52:53er...this lady and this gentleman...
0:52:53 > 0:52:56- Someone shut him up. - ..have just got engaged to be married,
0:52:56 > 0:52:59and, really, couldn't this wait?
0:52:59 > 0:53:01- Congratulations, Alan. - Yeah, thanks.
0:53:01 > 0:53:03Come on, lad, let's get this over with.
0:53:03 > 0:53:06- No, this is really, I would say, rather heavy-handed.- And you are?
0:53:06 > 0:53:09- I'm...I'm...- A wanker.
0:53:12 > 0:53:14He is. He's had that bitch in our house.
0:53:14 > 0:53:16What...bitch?
0:53:16 > 0:53:18Judith.
0:53:18 > 0:53:21I came home mid-afternoon last Tuesday after my exam,
0:53:21 > 0:53:24and they were pissed together in the sitting room.
0:53:34 > 0:53:37Raff, er...you go with Robbie. I'll follow you on in the Land Rover.
0:53:37 > 0:53:39- I'm going to have to go with him. - Fair enough.
0:53:39 > 0:53:42- You couldn't give us a lift down to the main road? - Yeah, whatever. Get in.
0:53:45 > 0:53:47In my house?!
0:53:47 > 0:53:49Not what you think.
0:53:49 > 0:53:51Happen I ought to pop down to the police station with Gillian.
0:53:51 > 0:53:54- Yes, you'd better.- Let's not ruin this... really, really lovely...
0:53:54 > 0:53:56- Take the Lexus. - Shall I? You don't mind?
0:53:56 > 0:54:01CAROLINE: Get in the car, boys. Mum, we're leaving.
0:54:01 > 0:54:06- Well done.- Don't come back.
0:54:06 > 0:54:09You haven't even heard my side of it.
0:54:09 > 0:54:12This has been taken out of context, out of proportion, and nothing happened!
0:54:12 > 0:54:15Caroline, you are not leaving me here!
0:54:19 > 0:54:20Oh!
0:54:20 > 0:54:24I've wanted to do that for years.
0:54:52 > 0:54:56I could have killed him one time. I mean, literally, I could have k...
0:54:56 > 0:55:00I just want you to understand the effect you have on me.
0:55:00 > 0:55:05- Aaah!- They said they was going to pour petrol over me and set me on fire.
0:55:05 > 0:55:08- Oh!- This marriage is over!
0:55:08 > 0:55:10- And I do not want to waste another...- You bitch!
0:55:10 > 0:55:13..second of my life pretending it's something worth saving!
0:55:13 > 0:55:14- Mum!- Oh!
0:55:16 > 0:55:19- Hello!- Is anybody there?
0:55:19 > 0:55:22- Slapper.- Yeah, whatever.
0:55:35 > 0:55:38Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd