0:00:02 > 0:00:04Where would you like to get wed, you can get wed anywhere now.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07We got shut in. We're not burglars, we're pensioners.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Where the hell are they?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12- Whatever has happened, he'll be looking after her.- I know that.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Do you think they're dead?
0:00:14 > 0:00:16You couldn't lend me some money, could you?
0:00:16 > 0:00:18Two months rent, that's it now.
0:00:18 > 0:00:22- Gillian, they're fine.- They've been playing cards and eating chocolate.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Dozy...!
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Do you seriously think I haven't slept with other people?
0:00:29 > 0:00:32What are you doing with that dipstick? We make an all right team,
0:00:32 > 0:00:35you, me and Raff, couldn't we?
0:00:35 > 0:00:38I'm seeing someone. I don't know if it's what I want entirely yet.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41- Someone at work? - I won't know if I don't try.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43- Who is it then? - No-one.- Why is it a secret?
0:01:34 > 0:01:35WHISTLE BLOWS AND CHILDREN SHOUT
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Kate, hello.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Are you teaching?
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Good.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53Could you come to my office?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Yes, now, would you mind?
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Caroline! We weren't expecting you.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03How's your mum?
0:02:03 > 0:02:04Fine. Yes.
0:02:04 > 0:02:05Is she traumatised?
0:02:05 > 0:02:06Um...
0:02:09 > 0:02:11..don't know.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13I, um...I don't think so. I was,
0:02:13 > 0:02:15I feel all, um...
0:02:15 > 0:02:17something else now.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Exhilarated.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Shock, possibly.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Can I get you some tea? I think Alison's just made a pot.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Oh, has she? Oh, good. Um, yes. Thank you.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35What?
0:02:51 > 0:02:52- Oh...- Oh...
0:02:55 > 0:02:57I, um...told John.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00- About us? - God, it felt good.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Better, um...tuck that back in.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Beverley'll be in any minute with the tea.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Oh, good.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Caroline...do you...
0:03:09 > 0:03:11do you want to come round tonight?
0:03:11 > 0:03:12Yup.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15So presumably your mum...
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Turned up, she's fine. - You all right?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I was awake all night, came home, went to bed, couldn't sleep,
0:03:19 > 0:03:21so I think I'm a bit, um...wired?
0:03:21 > 0:03:23- Is that a word?- It's...
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Yes, it's a very good word.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27You're very pretty.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29- Am I?- Mmm.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31You're magnificent.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36SHE SIGHS
0:03:36 > 0:03:39SHE WHISPERS
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Wouldn't that be technically difficult?
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Sure we'll think of something.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47KNOCKING AT DOOR
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- Tea!- Ah! Thank you.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Kate, can I get you one? I should have asked.
0:03:53 > 0:03:54No. Thanks, I'm...
0:03:55 > 0:03:59I rearranged your meeting with the chairman of the board of governors at two.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Should I see if he's still able to make it?
0:04:01 > 0:04:02Um...
0:04:02 > 0:04:06yup, if he's, um...still available.
0:04:06 > 0:04:07Have you had any lunch?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09- Nope.- Can I get you some?
0:04:09 > 0:04:11No. Well, maybe, in a bit.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16CRIES
0:04:16 > 0:04:18You really all right?
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Caroline.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38I thought she was dead last night.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39I thought they both were.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45And there was this one moment when I thought...
0:04:45 > 0:04:46that's it.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51And I couldn't stand it because I thought, "How unfair would that be,
0:04:51 > 0:04:56"to have met this one person again after all these years, and then died."
0:05:02 > 0:05:05I'm sitting on the floor in my own office.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Yeah, I'd spotted that.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09It's the relief, is it?
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Do you think maybe you should be at home after all?
0:05:13 > 0:05:14No.
0:05:14 > 0:05:19I'll see Gavin at two and then I might as well wait till quarter past three.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Will you be at home by four o'clock?
0:05:24 > 0:05:25I can be.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06We escaped.
0:06:06 > 0:06:07We did!
0:06:07 > 0:06:09We keep having adventures.
0:06:09 > 0:06:10We do!
0:06:10 > 0:06:13I didn't have much in the way of adventures until I met you.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Eh, eh, eh! You needn't look at me.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- It's you that gets us into these shenanigans.- Hardly!
0:06:18 > 0:06:23- Well, it were your idea, going up Southowram.- Was it?
0:06:23 > 0:06:24You...
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- Oh. OK. - HE SNIGGERS
0:06:32 > 0:06:39It's odd. Weren't it? That...well, whatever it were last night.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42There were a distinct presence, weren't there?
0:06:44 > 0:06:46I just can't shake it off.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Well, we're here now.
0:06:50 > 0:06:51Aren't we?
0:06:51 > 0:06:55- Back in the land of the living.- So...
0:06:57 > 0:06:59You know...
0:06:59 > 0:07:02I told you about when Eddie died?
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Yeah.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07- How he killed himself?- Yeah.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11Well, there were a bit more to it than I'd said, and...
0:07:11 > 0:07:14I think it's summat I ought to tell you about.
0:07:14 > 0:07:15Before we get wed.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18What? DOOR OPENS
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Unh! Oh, bloody hell.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Oh, hell's bells.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24Who is he when he's at home?
0:07:24 > 0:07:25- Ouch!- Do you know him?
0:07:25 > 0:07:29- Yes. - Are you going to introduce us?
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Right, well, that is Paul.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Hello, Mr Buttershaw.
0:07:33 > 0:07:34This is Celia.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36You all right, love?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- You've been in the wars.- Yeah.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39Oh!
0:07:39 > 0:07:40Tell me about it.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Paul? Gi... Oh.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Ah. Is it all right if I put t'kettle on, Mr Buttershaw?
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Only I'm supposed to keep me fluids up and I think Gillian's forgot.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51KNOCKING
0:07:51 > 0:07:54See, somebody at the door now. What were you going to tell me?
0:07:54 > 0:07:56I'll... Later.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57Ah...
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Oh! Ah.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Do you need a hand up?
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Hey! You're not dead, then. How's Celia?
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Is it Tuesday?
0:08:12 > 0:08:13I'm in a pub.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15I'm having trouble with the reception.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17We're in a bit of a dip,
0:08:17 > 0:08:19- can you hear me? - Loud and clear.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22He goes out for a bit of lunch every Tuesday with his pals.
0:08:22 > 0:08:23And they've asked me along.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25That's nice.
0:08:25 > 0:08:26Yeah.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Anyway, the reason I'm ringing is because I've decided
0:08:29 > 0:08:32to stop a few days while we sort out the wedding.
0:08:32 > 0:08:37Only the thing is, I've not got a clean change of underwear.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40- OK, so...?- So you couldn't pop over, could you?
0:08:40 > 0:08:42With some...
0:08:42 > 0:08:46with some knickers and a...and a nightie, and me toothbrush?
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Like a little overnight bag, sort of business.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Well, Mum, I would, but I've got a school to run.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53You've not gone to work?!
0:08:53 > 0:08:54You've been up all night!
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Could you get Alan to pop into Halifax with you?
0:08:56 > 0:08:58They'll have an M&S, surely, or...
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Oh, right. Don't worry about me!
0:09:00 > 0:09:03- Well, I would, but... - Hmm. I get the picture.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06- Can I ring you later? - If you've time.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08- Is that OK?- It'll have to be.
0:09:08 > 0:09:09So I'll ring you later.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11I could have caught a chill last night.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13I could have caught pneumonia.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Yes, but you didn't.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19All the same, I should be taking it steady, not traipsing into Halifax.
0:09:19 > 0:09:20You're in a pub.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24- What do you want for your birthday? - Can I ring you later?
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Only I never know what to get you.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27Yes, can I ring you later?
0:09:27 > 0:09:30If I don't get you anything, you'll say I'm being off with you.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32- Mum...- How old are you this time?
0:09:32 > 0:09:36- Mum! I'm in a meeting. - Who are you in a meeting with?
0:09:36 > 0:09:38The chairman of the board of governors.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Oh, that smarmy beggar. Well, you can tell him to eff off.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44- From me.- Right.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45I'll ring you later.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Yeah, don't knock yourself out.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50- I will ring you. Later.- Hmm.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Think what you want for your birthday.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Get me something from Marks's when you go buying your necessaries.
0:09:55 > 0:09:56Bye-bye.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57Bye.
0:09:59 > 0:10:00She sends her regards.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08- Do you want a straw, love? - Actually...
0:10:10 > 0:10:11How much?
0:10:11 > 0:10:15- He's asking 4,000. He'll take less. - Well, what condition's it in?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Oh, you'd have to take it for a test drive.
0:10:17 > 0:10:22Well, I can't imagine her getting more than a few thousand off insurance.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25If that. Still, it's her birthday tomorrow.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26Gillian's? Is it?
0:10:26 > 0:10:30So I'm thinking, happen I could make up the difference for her.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32How old is she?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Um...40-summat.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39You want me to ring up, see if he's around this aff so you can have a go with it?
0:10:39 > 0:10:43- Yeah, sure. Why not?- I'll pop outside, see if I can get a signal.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Right.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54Now, Alan, have you thought about a best man?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56No, not yet, not really.
0:10:56 > 0:11:01You see, I'm used to a certain degree of public speaking.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- Having been on t'council all them years.- Of course.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07And I can be very amusing, of course.
0:11:07 > 0:11:12I was often complimented on my humorous turn of phrase and wit
0:11:12 > 0:11:14and illuminating insights.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Yeah, yeah.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20Then there's the, um, other aspect.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Is there? Which?
0:11:22 > 0:11:23Not losing the ring.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Turning up on time.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29Sober. All that side.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Yeah, well... Obviously.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Shall I break it to him, then? Or will you?
0:11:36 > 0:11:38- Sorry?- Harry.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40- Oh!- What have I missed?
0:11:40 > 0:11:44- POSH ACCENT:- We've bought you a medium-dry white wine, Celia.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Oh! That's lovely, thank you.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Harry's lad's friend's selling a Land Rover.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51I thought we could pop up and have a look at it
0:11:51 > 0:11:55- for our Gillian this after. - Oh, very good.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59I hope you're not taking painkillers and drinking alcohol.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Can you fetch us a straw, love?
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Don't mention owt to Harry yet.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10- Let me deal with that side of things.- OK.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Dad?
0:12:35 > 0:12:36Dad?
0:12:38 > 0:12:39Dad?!
0:12:46 > 0:12:50PHONE RINGS AND MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:12:53 > 0:12:54ECHOES: Hello?
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Oh, that's...useful. Well done, Dad.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10BELL RINGS
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Sorry. Caroline, it's Gillian.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15- I'm sorry to be ringing you, only...- How are you?
0:13:15 > 0:13:16You haven't... They've...
0:13:16 > 0:13:17They're not... They're not here.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21I mean, they were here and now they're not. You haven't...seen them, have you?
0:13:21 > 0:13:23- They were in a pub.- Sorry?
0:13:23 > 0:13:27My mother rang, about an hour ago. They were in a pub with some friends of Alan's.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28SIGHS
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Pillock! Yeah, it's Tuesday.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33I, um, panicked.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37I've been out working all morning and then when I came in and they weren't here
0:13:37 > 0:13:38and the car gone...
0:13:38 > 0:13:40You all right?
0:13:40 > 0:13:41I just...
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- Gillian?- It's brought it home to me.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Last night.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55I don't think I could stand it if I lost him.
0:13:56 > 0:13:57Not just yet.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01Especially not since he's met your mum again, he's been so happy.
0:14:03 > 0:14:04Sorry.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06Don't be sorry.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Perhaps you should give me your mum's mobile number.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12For future reference. I've got a feeling...
0:14:12 > 0:14:15- I'm going to need it if they're going to carry on like this. - Sure.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Which I get the idea they are.
0:14:18 > 0:14:19Oh, um...
0:14:19 > 0:14:23you couldn't do me a favour, Gillian, could you?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25CAR ENGINE HUMS AND MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Hello.
0:14:29 > 0:14:30SHOUTING OVER CAR ENGINE It's Gillian!
0:14:30 > 0:14:31Hello, love!
0:14:31 > 0:14:34You don't know what's happened to Paul, do you?
0:14:34 > 0:14:36- The fella that was...- Paul?
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Yes, he's here, he's with us.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41He was going stir crazy at home.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Were you wanting to speak to him?
0:14:43 > 0:14:44No!
0:14:44 > 0:14:45Where are you?
0:14:45 > 0:14:48I'm...I'm not entirely sure.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49Where are we, Alan?
0:14:49 > 0:14:50Up Soyland.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53- ALL:- We're up Soyland!
0:14:53 > 0:14:55We're up Soyland!
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Right. OK.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Can you tell my dad... Are Harry and Maurice with you?
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Yes. Yes, they are, love.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07Right, can you tell my dad to tell Harry and Maurice
0:15:07 > 0:15:11to take Paul home to his mother's? They know where he lives.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13And to leave him there, right?
0:15:13 > 0:15:15And not to bring him back to ours.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Yes!
0:15:17 > 0:15:18Yes, I can do that.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Fabulous! Oh!
0:15:21 > 0:15:23- And, Celia!- Yes, love.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Knickers.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26Um...
0:15:26 > 0:15:28I've spoken to Caroline.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31I'm going into Halifax, what sort do you want?
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Well, um...
0:15:33 > 0:15:34And what size?
0:15:34 > 0:15:37I'm struggling to hear you,
0:15:37 > 0:15:39I think the signal's going.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41- Hello?- I think we're stuck.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44- I'm going to have to go. - We'll be fine.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46- Now, I'm hanging up now. - Hello?
0:15:46 > 0:15:48What's that smell?
0:15:48 > 0:15:50That smell, I'm afraid to say...
0:15:50 > 0:15:52It's like tomatoes.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54It's like metal tomatoes.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58That smell is the smell of a buggered clutch, Alan.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02Oh, aye, did I not say? Lad said it'd need a new clutch.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06We can pop to McNally's scrap yard and get a re-whatsited one for about 70 quid.
0:16:06 > 0:16:11Other than that, I'd say it's in damn near pretty perfect condition.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23DOORBELL RINGS
0:16:32 > 0:16:33Hi.
0:16:33 > 0:16:34Hi.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43SIGHS
0:16:53 > 0:16:56PHONE RINGS Shit.
0:16:56 > 0:16:57Oh.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Hello?
0:17:01 > 0:17:08Right, so...the thing is, what size knickers does your mum wear?
0:17:08 > 0:17:12Only when I rang her she couldn't tell me herself
0:17:12 > 0:17:16cos she was embarrassed cos me dad and Harry and Maurice were there with her
0:17:16 > 0:17:18- so...- Oh, I...I...I...
0:17:18 > 0:17:21I don't really... Cou...cou...you, um...
0:17:21 > 0:17:23- um...- Why don't I just...?
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- (Who is it?) - It's Gillian.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28..just buy a few different sorts and a few different sizes?
0:17:28 > 0:17:31- What does she want?- She wants to know what size knickers my mother wears.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34And then any that aren't suitable I can just take back.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36They'll be fine with that, won't they?
0:17:36 > 0:17:38- Yeah!- If they're unopened.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Y...yeah. Yeah, course they will.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Good idea.
0:17:42 > 0:17:43OK, sorry to bother you.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45No problem.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47- Thank you.- Ta-ra.
0:17:47 > 0:17:48I owe you one.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50- Bye.- Bye.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52What?
0:17:52 > 0:17:53What's wrong with that?
0:17:57 > 0:17:58100.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00No...
0:18:00 > 0:18:01Will you take 75?
0:18:02 > 0:18:03Ah, go on.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14I've been meaning to say, Alan, regarding t'wedding...
0:18:15 > 0:18:19..you'll want a best man that people like, won't you?
0:18:19 > 0:18:21You won't want somebody who'll drone on,
0:18:21 > 0:18:23talk about himself
0:18:23 > 0:18:26ad infinitum for 40 minutes.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Cos you know that's what'll happen.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Whereas, thing is...
0:18:33 > 0:18:34..I've never been a best man.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38And, um, it's summat I'd like to do...
0:18:38 > 0:18:40once, before I die.
0:18:42 > 0:18:43Well, I'll, um...
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Yeah, yeah. I'll...
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Smashing.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Shall I tell him? Or will you?
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Yeah, I'll... Yeah, leave it to me.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19- So what are you going to do? - Well, I don't know.
0:19:19 > 0:19:20Can you have two best men?
0:19:20 > 0:19:23No. It'd look daft.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Well, I'll have to worry about that tomorrow.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Like Scarlett O'Hara.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Are you suited with it?
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Oh, I think so.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33We'll shut it in here, she'll have a surprise in t'morning.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37What were you going to tell me earlier?
0:19:37 > 0:19:39When that lad fell down the stairs.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Oh.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42Yeah.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Let's put t'kettle on, eh?
0:20:06 > 0:20:10It may sound summat and nowt when I say it, but...
0:20:11 > 0:20:15They'd been arguing, this is what Gillian told me after.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17He'd been drinking, Eddie had.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Threatening to...kill himself.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Then she found him, he were in t'barn,
0:20:24 > 0:20:27he'd smashed his head open with t'log splitter.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30But the thing is...
0:20:30 > 0:20:33when she found him, he weren't dead.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35And not only that...
0:20:38 > 0:20:40He were still conscious.
0:20:40 > 0:20:45Then I got here about, ooh...an hour after it had happened, and...
0:20:47 > 0:20:50..she'd called police by that stage, by that stage he were dead.
0:20:52 > 0:20:53She told me...
0:20:55 > 0:20:57..she just stood there...
0:20:58 > 0:21:00..and watched him slip away.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Right in front of her.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Rather than get help.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10So that's why...
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Anyway.
0:21:16 > 0:21:17Why what?
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Robbie.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23The others thought summat untoward had gone on.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25That...she had killed him,
0:21:25 > 0:21:26which were nonsense, she didn't.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30But she didn't call an ambulance either.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33She told me what she'd done as soon as I got here,
0:21:33 > 0:21:36which I suppose makes me complicit in it.
0:21:39 > 0:21:40I don't blame her.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Not for a second.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45He made her life a misery and there were no way under t'sun
0:21:45 > 0:21:47I were going to shop her to the police.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52So, I wanted you to know that I did that,
0:21:52 > 0:21:58because, strictly speaking, it weren't right. But...
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Anyway, that's it.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Are you shocked?
0:22:04 > 0:22:05No.
0:22:05 > 0:22:06Are you disappointed?
0:22:06 > 0:22:07No.
0:22:09 > 0:22:10No.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16I told you about Kenneth, what I'd have done given half a chance.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18You thought about it, we did it.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19You didn't.
0:22:19 > 0:22:20I covered it up.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24- Don't tell Gillian I've told you. - No, I won't.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28- Ever. Promise me.- I promise.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29And I keep my promises.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33It sort of bought it back last night.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37There's always been a funny feeling in that barn since.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41I do sometimes wonder if he's still in there.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Let it go.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48I'm glad you've told me, but now let it go.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50You don't think less of me?
0:22:50 > 0:22:53No, never.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58I love you.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00I love you.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Sorry.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07We've gone all miserable.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11- We don't want that, do we?- No.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14We need to be laughing, you and me!
0:23:14 > 0:23:15Hey.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Do you remember all that jiving we used to do?
0:23:20 > 0:23:21Oh, gosh.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Do I remember?!
0:23:24 > 0:23:27DISTANT MUSIC: "Tutti Frutti" by Little Richard
0:24:16 > 0:24:19- Oh, no! - No, don't mind me.
0:24:19 > 0:24:20- We were just...- Good!
0:24:20 > 0:24:23- ...reminiscing. - You should reminisce more often!
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Oh heck, now you'll be telling everybody.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Smashing photos.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30I'm texting 'em to Caroline.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33- Did you get rid of him? - Hey?- Paul.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Oh, yes. Well, yes.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Harry took him in his Mondeo.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40Good job well done.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41Celia?
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Knickers.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47Owt that doesn't fit or isn't right we'll take back.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Oh, thanks. How much do I owe you?
0:24:49 > 0:24:51There's a receipt in there somewhere.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54And, I rung Robbie. Him and Raff are coming round for supper.
0:24:54 > 0:24:55Robbie?!
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Yeah, tonight.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58Raff's bringing his stuff back.
0:24:58 > 0:24:59He's moving back in.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01So,
0:25:01 > 0:25:05I bought a chicken and a couple of bottles of wine.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08- Ooh!- We're celebrating. - What are we celebrating?
0:25:08 > 0:25:11Everything, anything. You name it, we'll celebrate it.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Well, I'll just go upstairs and sort myself out.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16- Do you know where you're going? - Yes, thanks, love.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Robbie was really on it last night, Dad.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21He really bothered, really surprised me,
0:25:21 > 0:25:25and he apologised for all the crap and nonsense and rubbish.
0:25:27 > 0:25:28I think he were genuine.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32That bed'll need a clean sheet and another duvet cover.
0:25:32 > 0:25:33Oh, and Celia?
0:25:36 > 0:25:38I got this for Caroline.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42She said to get her something from M&S for you to give to her for her birthday.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44She said it would be a weight off your mind,
0:25:44 > 0:25:46or her mind, or one of your minds, yeah?
0:25:46 > 0:25:47Thanks.
0:26:09 > 0:26:10Don't worry, he's gone.
0:26:10 > 0:26:11He better have.
0:26:25 > 0:26:26Where have you been?
0:26:27 > 0:26:30- Work.- Till this time?
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Boys all right?
0:26:32 > 0:26:33Where have you been?
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Where haven't I been?
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Just...tell me who it is.
0:26:37 > 0:26:38No.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42- I won't get cross. - Ooh, lucky me(!)
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Are you making it up?
0:26:44 > 0:26:45How's Judith?
0:26:45 > 0:26:48I finished with Judith. I don't want to see her again as long as I live.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Is she pretty, Judith? I've never asked you.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53She's... No, actually, she's rather ugly.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55When you've seen her fall down the stairs more than once
0:26:55 > 0:26:59and wet herself vomiting, it's hard to think of her as anything else. Who is it?
0:26:59 > 0:27:03There are other people, more important people, who need to know before you.
0:27:03 > 0:27:04Why? Just say it.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Is it that unctuous git that's chairman of your board of...?
0:27:07 > 0:27:08Gavin!
0:27:09 > 0:27:12Anyway, he's married, with children.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Do you think I'd do that?
0:27:16 > 0:27:19I thought the idea was we were going to try to make it work here,
0:27:19 > 0:27:20for the boys.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Only as a practical arrangement until they got off to university.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26You must have known I was never really going to get back into bed with you.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29So I'm just going to live here while you sleep around?
0:27:29 > 0:27:31I'm not going to sleep around, but you could.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34Actually, if I'm with someone else and you're going to sleep around...
0:27:34 > 0:27:38- I don't want to sleep around. - ..we might as well just call it a day and get divorced.
0:27:38 > 0:27:39You're not having the house.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41I'm having the boys, because I never walked out on them,
0:27:41 > 0:27:44and no court in its right mind would throw them out of the family home.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46- Caroline.- Get yourself a good lawyer. I intend to.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49Caroline, I don't want to get divorced.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Well, I'm sorry, I've come full circle.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53If I love and trust someone enough to have sex with them
0:27:53 > 0:27:56I don't want them relegated to the Fourth Division, I want them here.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Where I can have them.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Any time I like.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04Do you know what I realised last night?
0:28:04 > 0:28:06I've been depressed.
0:28:06 > 0:28:07For months.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10And last night I was so low
0:28:10 > 0:28:12I hit rock bottom, and then...
0:28:13 > 0:28:17..when my mum turned up I turned a corner, something lifted, it was physical.
0:28:17 > 0:28:21This fog that's been there for months, it vanished, just like that,
0:28:21 > 0:28:23and everything became clear and I felt...
0:28:24 > 0:28:26..happy.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30Like I can't remember feeling for years.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32You're not moving him in here.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34It's not a he.
0:28:34 > 0:28:38I suppose we might as well get that out of the way.
0:28:38 > 0:28:41I need to tell the boys, and I need to tell my mother,
0:28:41 > 0:28:43and until I've had the chance to do that myself,
0:28:43 > 0:28:45I'd appreciate you being discreet.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48Whoever the hell else you choose to tell is of course your business
0:28:48 > 0:28:51but clearly we have to address the possibility that
0:28:51 > 0:28:54it might upset the boys initially, until they get used to it.
0:28:54 > 0:28:58So obviously if you need to take the piss and make ridiculous comments
0:28:58 > 0:29:01it'd be best if you did it straight to my face and not in front of them.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04But being a liberal-minded intellectual,
0:29:04 > 0:29:06I assume you won't need to do that anyway.
0:29:07 > 0:29:09Yeah.
0:29:09 > 0:29:10PHONE RINGS
0:29:10 > 0:29:12You might need to think about it.
0:29:12 > 0:29:13Hello?
0:29:13 > 0:29:17I spent 45 quid. Is that all right?
0:29:17 > 0:29:19Oh, that's brilliant.
0:29:19 > 0:29:20I got a dressing-gown
0:29:20 > 0:29:23for you, well, for her to give to you.
0:29:23 > 0:29:27It's just a white towel robe thing.
0:29:27 > 0:29:29Perfect, that's perfect.
0:29:29 > 0:29:31- If you don't want it, I'll have it.- No!
0:29:31 > 0:29:34It's spot-on, thank you.
0:29:34 > 0:29:36If you give me your bank details I'll transfer the cash.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39I'll pay for her stuff as well.
0:29:39 > 0:29:40Hey, that's cheating!
0:29:40 > 0:29:41Is it 'eck!
0:29:41 > 0:29:44When is it your birthday, by the way, out of interest?
0:29:44 > 0:29:47Just cos it's mine tomorrow.
0:29:47 > 0:29:48Tomorrow.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50You're kidding.
0:29:51 > 0:29:53It's mine tomorrow.
0:29:54 > 0:29:56How weird is that?!
0:29:56 > 0:29:58- How old are you? - How old are you?
0:29:58 > 0:30:0046, I will be tomorrow.
0:30:00 > 0:30:01That's...
0:30:01 > 0:30:03Are you?
0:30:03 > 0:30:04Yeah.
0:30:04 > 0:30:06Oh, good Lord! That's a bit...
0:30:07 > 0:30:08We're twins!
0:30:10 > 0:30:11Well, we're something.
0:30:11 > 0:30:12Are you winding me up?
0:30:12 > 0:30:14No!
0:30:14 > 0:30:16I had no idea.
0:30:16 > 0:30:17Oh, he's got a good hand.
0:30:17 > 0:30:21Ey! Oi! You're never going to believe this - this is weird.
0:30:26 > 0:30:29PHONE RINGS
0:30:31 > 0:30:33- Hello?- Are you sober?
0:30:33 > 0:30:34Why?
0:30:34 > 0:30:38It's funny, it sort of teases you out of thought, doesn't it?
0:30:38 > 0:30:41I mean, how t'heck could that have happened?
0:30:41 > 0:30:45I mean, you couldn't invent that, could you?
0:30:48 > 0:30:53You know I told you I used to think about you, when I was with Kenneth?
0:30:53 > 0:30:56And you said you used to think about me, sometimes?
0:30:56 > 0:30:58Yeah.
0:31:00 > 0:31:04I wonder if we were thinking about each other, that night.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08The night, you know, they were conceived.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11I think it's just another sign.
0:31:13 > 0:31:16That things were always meant to be, don't you?
0:31:19 > 0:31:23I'd better go back down, help Gillian wi' t'washing up.
0:31:23 > 0:31:24Or else I'll be in bother.
0:31:24 > 0:31:25Oh...
0:31:25 > 0:31:28Let's just have a few more minutes.
0:31:33 > 0:31:35Thanks for bringing him back, Rob.
0:31:35 > 0:31:36No problem.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38You're all right.
0:31:38 > 0:31:40When you're not being a twillock!
0:31:40 > 0:31:42Yeah? Thanks, Gillian.
0:31:49 > 0:31:50'Ey, and, you know...
0:31:52 > 0:31:53..thanks.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55For last night.
0:31:55 > 0:31:59I'm glad we talked about stuff.
0:32:00 > 0:32:03Are you doing owt? Tomorrow, for your birthday?
0:32:04 > 0:32:05Nah.
0:32:09 > 0:32:10Do you fancy going out for a meal?
0:32:10 > 0:32:12Or summat,
0:32:12 > 0:32:14some time?
0:32:15 > 0:32:16Yeah.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19Why not?
0:32:51 > 0:32:52Do you want to stay?
0:32:55 > 0:32:57- No.- You can do.
0:32:57 > 0:33:00As much as I'd like to,
0:33:00 > 0:33:04ask me when you're less likely to regret it the morning after.
0:33:04 > 0:33:06I'm not pi...
0:33:07 > 0:33:09I'm not that pissed.
0:33:11 > 0:33:13HE SIGHS Night, Gillian.
0:33:13 > 0:33:15Coward.
0:33:17 > 0:33:18Night night.
0:33:19 > 0:33:20Night.
0:33:32 > 0:33:34(Mum. Mum?)
0:33:35 > 0:33:36Hello.
0:33:36 > 0:33:37You should go to bed.
0:33:39 > 0:33:40Hmm.
0:33:47 > 0:33:48Oh...
0:33:48 > 0:33:50Where's Dad?
0:33:50 > 0:33:52Has he gone out? I don't know.
0:33:52 > 0:33:55Why aren't you in bed?
0:34:00 > 0:34:01Are you seeing someone?
0:34:03 > 0:34:05How would you feel about it if I was?
0:34:05 > 0:34:07Fine.
0:34:08 > 0:34:09If it's someone that deserves you.
0:34:10 > 0:34:11OK.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15Well then, yes I am.
0:34:15 > 0:34:16Seeing someone.
0:34:22 > 0:34:23Is it Kate McKenzie?
0:34:23 > 0:34:24What...
0:34:26 > 0:34:27..makes you think that?
0:34:28 > 0:34:29Is it?
0:34:31 > 0:34:32OK, well, if...
0:34:33 > 0:34:35If it, if, if it, erm...
0:34:35 > 0:34:37it was...
0:34:38 > 0:34:40..what would, how would you...
0:34:40 > 0:34:42She's nice! I like her.
0:34:42 > 0:34:43She's clever,
0:34:43 > 0:34:46she's interesting, she's kind.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48How...
0:34:48 > 0:34:49How did you know?
0:34:49 > 0:34:50I saw you.
0:34:50 > 0:34:53When you came in to invigilate for my exam yesterday,
0:34:53 > 0:34:56just the way you looked at each other.
0:34:57 > 0:34:59No-one else saw.
0:35:01 > 0:35:02- I won't embarrass you.- I know.
0:35:02 > 0:35:06- This wouldn't have happened if your dad...- I don't care.
0:35:06 > 0:35:08I want you to be happy.
0:35:08 > 0:35:09Lawrence know?
0:35:09 > 0:35:10No.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12CLOCK CHIMES
0:35:15 > 0:35:17Happy birthday.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26- GILLIAN:- Right, this had better be good.
0:35:26 > 0:35:28- Ready?- Yep.
0:35:28 > 0:35:29- Steady?- No!
0:35:29 > 0:35:31Ta-da!
0:35:32 > 0:35:34Dad!
0:35:35 > 0:35:36It goes.
0:35:38 > 0:35:39How much did you...
0:35:39 > 0:35:40Nowt!
0:35:40 > 0:35:41We found it.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43It were free, at side of t'road.
0:35:43 > 0:35:45Oh, you shouldn't have. You're getting married.
0:35:45 > 0:35:47- You're going to need all the money...- Shut up.
0:35:47 > 0:35:48Nice one, Grandad.
0:35:48 > 0:35:49It's...
0:35:51 > 0:35:52...beautiful. It's...
0:35:54 > 0:35:57..got wheels and everything!
0:35:57 > 0:36:00I said to t'fella, only the best, it's for our Gillian.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02You...
0:36:02 > 0:36:03Dad!
0:36:04 > 0:36:06Only thing is, the clutch has gone.
0:36:08 > 0:36:09So I've bought a new one,
0:36:09 > 0:36:12well, a re-whatsited one, is on t'front seat.
0:36:12 > 0:36:14So you'll...
0:36:14 > 0:36:16Be having to put that in myself.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19Well, you like mucking about inside engines, don't you? So...
0:36:19 > 0:36:21Yeah.
0:36:21 > 0:36:22Thanks, Dad.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25Harry says otherwise it were in perfect condition.
0:36:25 > 0:36:27- Harry?- For its vintage.
0:36:27 > 0:36:29SHE LAUGHS
0:36:29 > 0:36:32You pillock!
0:36:32 > 0:36:34Right, I'm off. Happy birthday, Mother.
0:36:34 > 0:36:36Oh!
0:36:36 > 0:36:38See you, Gramps. Ta-ta, Celia.
0:36:38 > 0:36:40- Bye, love. - Hey, do you want a lift?
0:36:40 > 0:36:41In this?
0:36:41 > 0:36:43Not in that.
0:36:43 > 0:36:44In that!
0:36:44 > 0:36:48Yeah, me and Celia are going to t'registry office in Halifax, so...
0:36:48 > 0:36:49Are you?
0:36:49 > 0:36:50Yeah, just to have a look.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53Oh, well, yeah, yeah, I mean, if you're going that way.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11- Out.- Get off me, bitch!
0:37:11 > 0:37:12I am not having him.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14I am sick of him,
0:37:14 > 0:37:17I am sick to the back teeth of him.
0:37:17 > 0:37:19You are nothing but trouble.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Bloody nuisance, he is.
0:37:21 > 0:37:23Yeah, well he's not coming back 'ere!
0:37:23 > 0:37:27Well, you should have thought about that before you started mucking about with him.
0:37:27 > 0:37:29- It's your fault he's in this mess. - Bitch! Liar!
0:37:29 > 0:37:32I only got in t'car cos she said she was taking me round me granny's.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34You're not leaving him here!
0:37:34 > 0:37:37- Watch me.- You're not!
0:37:37 > 0:37:39ENGINE STARTS
0:37:39 > 0:37:42I'll get t'keys for t'car. Do you want to get in, Raffy?
0:37:42 > 0:37:44Bitch!
0:37:44 > 0:37:45Raff?
0:38:25 > 0:38:27TYPING
0:38:29 > 0:38:30She's not a lesbian.
0:38:30 > 0:38:32Oh, OK. So what would you call it, then?
0:38:32 > 0:38:35If she's getting into bed with another woman.
0:38:35 > 0:38:36No, she's just not a lesbian.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39Whatever it is she's doing with this other woman, she's not...
0:38:39 > 0:38:41She just doesn't look like a lesbian.
0:38:41 > 0:38:44I know what lesbians look like. We have them on campus.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46They meet in Derwent Bar on Monday nights.
0:38:46 > 0:38:48God! Aren't you quaint?! What decade do you live in?
0:38:48 > 0:38:51Do you think she looks like...? Oh, you've never seen her.
0:38:51 > 0:38:53No, but I'm warming to her.
0:38:54 > 0:38:55I wonder what it's like.
0:38:55 > 0:38:56What?
0:38:56 > 0:38:58To get hot and steamy with another woman.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00God, well,
0:39:00 > 0:39:02I can't imagine it's... Well, what is it? What do they do?
0:39:02 > 0:39:05They haven't got anything to do anything with, have they?
0:39:05 > 0:39:07Are you being deliberately stupid?
0:39:07 > 0:39:11No, course not, you're just lashing out. Who wouldn't?
0:39:11 > 0:39:15You've just found out that the woman you've been married to...for how long?
0:39:15 > 0:39:1618 years.
0:39:16 > 0:39:1818 years!
0:39:18 > 0:39:21Has probably been faking it, every single time.
0:39:21 > 0:39:24No, no, she hasn't, she wouldn't, she's not...
0:39:24 > 0:39:26Well, either that or every time you made her come
0:39:26 > 0:39:29she was pretending that you were, you know, a girl.
0:39:29 > 0:39:31A girly, a girly-whirly!
0:39:31 > 0:39:32No, no, no, that's...
0:39:32 > 0:39:34We had... Me and Caroline had fantastic...
0:39:34 > 0:39:37You don't know what's in people's heads.
0:39:37 > 0:39:39You don't know what was in my head when I shagged you.
0:39:39 > 0:39:42- Well, what is? - Well, I could be thinking all sorts.
0:39:42 > 0:39:44Anything.
0:39:44 > 0:39:45Yeah, well, what?
0:39:45 > 0:39:46I'm not telling you!
0:39:49 > 0:39:51I've been used.
0:39:51 > 0:39:52No, you haven't.
0:39:52 > 0:39:53Well, yeah, you have.
0:39:53 > 0:39:57But hasn't everybody at some stage?
0:39:58 > 0:40:00PHONE BEEPS AND VIBRATES
0:40:01 > 0:40:02It's her.
0:40:02 > 0:40:05Oh, shall I answer it?
0:40:05 > 0:40:06Yes?
0:40:06 > 0:40:07Where are you?
0:40:07 > 0:40:09- Does it matter? - Where did you sleep last night?
0:40:09 > 0:40:11It doesn't... I'm not... It's none of your...
0:40:11 > 0:40:13Have you moved out again or something?
0:40:13 > 0:40:15- No!- OK, well,
0:40:15 > 0:40:20I'm planning to cook tonight for my birthday for my, erm...friend.
0:40:20 > 0:40:21And the boys.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23I want to know if you'll be in or out.
0:40:23 > 0:40:25I don't know where I'll be.
0:40:25 > 0:40:27OK. Well, if you're in,
0:40:27 > 0:40:29given that it's where you live,
0:40:29 > 0:40:30I'd, er...
0:40:31 > 0:40:34I'd like you to join us.
0:40:34 > 0:40:36Are you serious?
0:40:36 > 0:40:38Yes, assuming you'd only accept the invitation
0:40:38 > 0:40:41if you were going to behave like an adult in front of the children.
0:40:41 > 0:40:46Piss off, you sanctimonious, patronising mad bitch!
0:40:50 > 0:40:53Problem? She's invited me for dinner with her and her...
0:40:53 > 0:40:54Oh, are you going?
0:40:54 > 0:40:56- No!- Do you want to know what she looks like?
0:40:56 > 0:40:59No! I don't want to see that...
0:41:01 > 0:41:02- Hang on.- What?
0:41:02 > 0:41:04My God! It's that woman she had in the garden
0:41:04 > 0:41:06when she chucked all that water over me.
0:41:06 > 0:41:07Lawrence said she was a lesbian.
0:41:07 > 0:41:10- Go on, go and have dinner with them.- No!
0:41:10 > 0:41:11Oh, OK.
0:41:11 > 0:41:12Shame.
0:41:12 > 0:41:15Cos, thing is, to be frank, John,
0:41:15 > 0:41:16I don't want you here either.
0:41:16 > 0:41:19I've started to realise what a bad influence you are on me.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36It seems very impersonal.
0:41:38 > 0:41:40I'm still cross about the church.
0:41:40 > 0:41:43Maybe if she'd accommodated us,
0:41:43 > 0:41:46that vicar, we'd have started going again.
0:41:46 > 0:41:49I think she took a very short-term view.
0:41:49 > 0:41:51What about Southowram?
0:41:52 > 0:41:54Well, they did offer.
0:41:54 > 0:41:57I thought you said wild horses wouldn't drag you back there.
0:41:57 > 0:42:00Yes, I know I did, but if it's the only place...
0:42:00 > 0:42:02No, it's no good then, is it?
0:42:04 > 0:42:07They have a lovely chapel at Caroline's school.
0:42:07 > 0:42:11I went there once to a little concert she'd organised.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13Do they not hire it out for weddings?
0:42:13 > 0:42:14Who?
0:42:14 > 0:42:15The school!
0:42:17 > 0:42:20Would you want to get wed in Harrogate?
0:42:20 > 0:42:24I don't mind where we get wed, as long as it's what you want.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57PHONE RINGS
0:43:01 > 0:43:02Hello?
0:43:02 > 0:43:04Gillian, hello, it's John.
0:43:04 > 0:43:05Elliott.
0:43:05 > 0:43:06- Caroline's...- Oh, hello.
0:43:06 > 0:43:08- Who is it? - I'm sorry I'm ringing you.
0:43:08 > 0:43:10I...
0:43:10 > 0:43:11What's happening? Anything?
0:43:11 > 0:43:14I was just wondering... The thing is...
0:43:15 > 0:43:17Oh, dear.
0:43:17 > 0:43:18Are you all right?
0:43:18 > 0:43:22I'm not entirely certain why I'm ringing you. Just...
0:43:22 > 0:43:23Has something happened?
0:43:23 > 0:43:27You gave me such good advice that time, you know, when Caroline
0:43:27 > 0:43:28drove off without me and...
0:43:28 > 0:43:29What's up?
0:43:31 > 0:43:32Can I come over?
0:43:34 > 0:43:35If you like.
0:43:35 > 0:43:36Would you mind?
0:43:36 > 0:43:37No, course not. What's it...
0:43:37 > 0:43:40What's it to do with?
0:43:40 > 0:43:41It's, it's...
0:43:41 > 0:43:43Just say it.
0:43:43 > 0:43:44Caroline.
0:43:44 > 0:43:45Caroline?
0:43:46 > 0:43:47Is she all right?
0:43:57 > 0:43:59DOORBELL RINGS
0:44:05 > 0:44:06Hi.
0:44:06 > 0:44:07Come in.
0:44:07 > 0:44:08Hello, William.
0:44:08 > 0:44:09Hi.
0:44:09 > 0:44:10For you.
0:44:10 > 0:44:12Happy birthday!
0:44:12 > 0:44:15William, can you take Kate's coat, please?
0:44:15 > 0:44:18Dinner's going to be another 40 minutes, sorry.
0:44:18 > 0:44:20It's fine, I'll help you.
0:44:20 > 0:44:21Thanks, William.
0:44:21 > 0:44:26Or would you like to play Scrabble while Mum's cooking, if you like, or...?
0:44:26 > 0:44:27God, haven't played Scrabble in years.
0:44:27 > 0:44:30I'll see if Lawrence wants to. He can't spell, but it's good for him.
0:44:36 > 0:44:38I told him. He knows.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40He's been brilliant about it.
0:44:42 > 0:44:45I've not told Lawrence. I'm just waiting for the right kind of...
0:44:45 > 0:44:47- Yeah.- ...moment.
0:44:47 > 0:44:48OK.
0:44:58 > 0:45:00Are you going to stay tonight?
0:45:00 > 0:45:01Sure.
0:45:02 > 0:45:05- Is John not...? - Oh, I haven't a clue where John is.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11TV: CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:45:25 > 0:45:27THEY SIGH
0:45:27 > 0:45:29Do you know, my feet!
0:45:29 > 0:45:32Mm, yeah, but we're making progress now.
0:45:32 > 0:45:35We still don't know where we're living!
0:45:35 > 0:45:39Well, we could spend a few weeks here and then a few weeks over in Harrogate.
0:45:39 > 0:45:41We could alternate at intervals.
0:45:41 > 0:45:44That way, they can all get equally sick of us.
0:45:44 > 0:45:47Yeah, and we can get equally sick of them!
0:45:47 > 0:45:52Oh, I'm not sure about this hat now I've bought it.
0:45:52 > 0:45:54Well, buy another one. You've got three weeks.
0:45:54 > 0:45:56Yeah. Bugger the expense.
0:45:56 > 0:45:58Buy the cat a goldfish.
0:45:58 > 0:46:00Celia?
0:46:00 > 0:46:02What, my love?
0:46:04 > 0:46:06What I told you yesterday...
0:46:06 > 0:46:07What about it?
0:46:08 > 0:46:11Well, it were manslaughter.
0:46:11 > 0:46:13I don't know if I made that clear.
0:46:13 > 0:46:17Even though he'd tried to take his own life, she could've still...
0:46:17 > 0:46:18Alan?
0:46:18 > 0:46:19It's forgotten.
0:46:20 > 0:46:23Well, I just want to know that...
0:46:23 > 0:46:24you realise...
0:46:24 > 0:46:28Listen, one of the great things about getting older -
0:46:28 > 0:46:29I don't know if you feel the same -
0:46:29 > 0:46:32is that very little shocks you any more.
0:46:32 > 0:46:35And that certainly doesn't.
0:46:35 > 0:46:37You know that.
0:46:40 > 0:46:42HE SIGHS HAPPILY
0:46:44 > 0:46:46Have you got my perfume?
0:46:48 > 0:46:51- Celia! - We've shopped till we've dropped!
0:46:53 > 0:46:54John's here.
0:46:54 > 0:46:57Er, he's been here all afternoon.
0:46:57 > 0:46:59And, erm... he's had a bit to drink.
0:46:59 > 0:47:02- What? - And he's being a bit...emotional.
0:47:02 > 0:47:04Why, what's happened?
0:47:05 > 0:47:07OK, erm, well...
0:47:07 > 0:47:10erm, Caroline, um...
0:47:10 > 0:47:11Is she all right?
0:47:11 > 0:47:13She's fine. She's...
0:47:13 > 0:47:15She's... She's... She's... She's...
0:47:15 > 0:47:17Has she been in an accident?
0:47:17 > 0:47:19- No! No, no, no, no. - She was all right at lunchtime
0:47:19 > 0:47:22- when we spoke to her about the chapel.- No, she's fine.
0:47:22 > 0:47:24She's fine. It's nothing to do with that.
0:47:24 > 0:47:26- Right.- Is that Celia?
0:47:26 > 0:47:29Yeah, sounds like it. Listen, pal, why don't you let Gillian...
0:47:29 > 0:47:31Oi! Celia!
0:47:31 > 0:47:33He...
0:47:33 > 0:47:34She, er...
0:47:34 > 0:47:37Oh, John ought to tell you himself, really. Well, no, Caroline.
0:47:37 > 0:47:39CONVERSATION CONTINUES IN DISTANCE
0:47:41 > 0:47:43The thing is, John's had a bit to drink, and he's...
0:47:43 > 0:47:45- Celia!- Oh, God.
0:47:45 > 0:47:48- What's happened?! - Nothing's happened.
0:47:48 > 0:47:49What are you doing here?
0:47:49 > 0:47:51Came to see Gillian.
0:47:51 > 0:47:53How much have you had to drink?
0:47:53 > 0:47:56- Loads. - Has something happened with Caroline?
0:47:56 > 0:47:58Well, yeah, you could kind of say that.
0:47:58 > 0:48:01No, it's... John, you're very drunk. Just bear that in mind
0:48:01 > 0:48:03before you say anything else.
0:48:03 > 0:48:06Can someone kindly tell Celia what's going on?
0:48:10 > 0:48:11Did you know that Caroline's a lesbian?
0:48:14 > 0:48:16What's he talking about?
0:48:16 > 0:48:19Did you know that? Did you know that I've been married to this woman?
0:48:19 > 0:48:22And you wonder why I had an affair? This woman,
0:48:22 > 0:48:24who for 19 years
0:48:24 > 0:48:26has been either faking it or...
0:48:26 > 0:48:27Shut up.
0:48:27 > 0:48:30Gillian, shut him up.
0:48:30 > 0:48:32What a bloody silly thing to say.
0:48:32 > 0:48:33Do you know how that makes me feel?
0:48:33 > 0:48:38- Your ridiculous bloody daughter... - Hey, that's enough of that sort of talk.
0:48:38 > 0:48:41What's he doing here, anyway? Why's he here upsetting people?
0:48:41 > 0:48:44- Alan!- John, you're upsetting her.- I don't care!
0:48:44 > 0:48:47- Well, I do.- Come on, let's take it outside.- Get your hands off me!
0:48:47 > 0:48:49I want you to calm down.
0:48:49 > 0:48:52That's wicked, coming out with something like that.
0:48:52 > 0:48:53And who've you been telling it to?
0:48:53 > 0:48:55I'm saying it cos it's true,
0:48:55 > 0:48:57cos she's been having it off with another woman!
0:48:57 > 0:49:00- Get him out of the way. - Come on, outside.
0:49:00 > 0:49:02- What are you doing?- Get outside!
0:49:02 > 0:49:04What woman?
0:49:04 > 0:49:08Come... Come and sit down. I'll make you some tea.
0:49:08 > 0:49:10I don't want any tea!
0:49:10 > 0:49:12I want to go home.
0:49:13 > 0:49:16- At school?- In the chapel.
0:49:16 > 0:49:19Then we'll move on to somewhere else for the reception.
0:49:19 > 0:49:22I'm checking out a few possible venues for them.
0:49:22 > 0:49:24It'll be fantastic. It'll be gorgeous.
0:49:24 > 0:49:27- It'll be just what she wants. - It's so amazing. Your mum!
0:49:27 > 0:49:29I know! I know, it's perfect.
0:49:29 > 0:49:31It's wonderful.
0:49:31 > 0:49:32It's what she deserves.
0:49:32 > 0:49:36Even if she's had to wait all this time to get it.
0:49:37 > 0:49:40- Can I get drunk?- No.
0:49:40 > 0:49:41DOORBELL RINGS
0:49:44 > 0:49:45- SLURRED:- Oh! Hello!
0:49:46 > 0:49:48Er...
0:49:48 > 0:49:49can I help you?
0:49:49 > 0:49:51Sorry, I dropped a bottle of wine.
0:49:51 > 0:49:53Just now. It was...
0:49:53 > 0:49:54meant to be a present.
0:49:56 > 0:49:58Are you...Caroline?
0:50:01 > 0:50:03I was looking for John. Is he in?
0:50:04 > 0:50:06Judith?
0:50:06 > 0:50:07Yeah.
0:50:07 > 0:50:09No, he's not in. I don't know where he is.
0:50:09 > 0:50:11Oh. Right.
0:50:12 > 0:50:14I think I've upset him.
0:50:14 > 0:50:17I wanted to apologise to him.
0:50:17 > 0:50:20But I guess that you're here now, so...
0:50:21 > 0:50:22Have you seen him?
0:50:22 > 0:50:25This morning. But, you know, it's over.
0:50:25 > 0:50:26It's good.
0:50:26 > 0:50:29Even so, I don't want to hurt him.
0:50:29 > 0:50:33And hey, listen, it's great!
0:50:33 > 0:50:35I'm really cool with it. Well done.
0:50:36 > 0:50:38Sorry?
0:50:38 > 0:50:39I used to have
0:50:39 > 0:50:43this horrendous crush on one of my dad's girlfriends.
0:50:43 > 0:50:47So, you know, I'm right there with you.
0:50:47 > 0:50:48What are you talking about?
0:50:48 > 0:50:51I used to imagine what it might be like to snog her.
0:50:51 > 0:50:53- Would you like me to call you a taxi?- No.
0:50:53 > 0:50:55And listen...
0:50:55 > 0:50:56Caroline...
0:50:56 > 0:50:58I'm sorry I...
0:50:58 > 0:51:00You know, in the end,
0:51:00 > 0:51:03maybe it wasn't entirely his fault.
0:51:03 > 0:51:05Not that I'm defending him. Useless twat.
0:51:05 > 0:51:07But there's got to be something, hasn't there, not working,
0:51:07 > 0:51:09before a bloke...
0:51:09 > 0:51:11- goes off?- Mind where you're...
0:51:11 > 0:51:13GLASS SMASHES
0:51:13 > 0:51:14Judith!
0:51:16 > 0:51:18- What are you doing?! - I'm helping you!
0:51:18 > 0:51:21- Kate!- Was that Caroline?
0:51:52 > 0:51:54He's asleep.
0:51:54 > 0:51:56What a puff.
0:51:56 > 0:51:58Fainting!
0:51:59 > 0:52:01You don't have to stay, you know. I can handle things.
0:52:01 > 0:52:05- I'm 15.- I'll stay here with you until your mum gets back.
0:52:07 > 0:52:10She's seeing someone. Mum.
0:52:10 > 0:52:12- Did you know?- Yes.
0:52:12 > 0:52:14Yes.
0:52:14 > 0:52:15I did know.
0:52:16 > 0:52:18Who?
0:52:19 > 0:52:20Well...
0:52:21 > 0:52:24I expect she'll talk it through with you when she's ready.
0:52:24 > 0:52:26"Talk it through"? What do you mean?
0:52:28 > 0:52:29PHONE RINGS
0:52:29 > 0:52:31Will that be her?
0:52:32 > 0:52:34- Hello?- Hi. Is that William?
0:52:34 > 0:52:35Lawrence.
0:52:35 > 0:52:36Lawrence.
0:52:36 > 0:52:39Hi. Er, it's Gillian, Alan's daughter.
0:52:39 > 0:52:41Is Caroline there?
0:52:41 > 0:52:44No, she's had to rush somebody into hospital.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46Oh. Er...
0:52:46 > 0:52:48Oh, erm...
0:52:48 > 0:52:51Um...that'll be why she hasn't been picking up
0:52:51 > 0:52:53- her mobile, then.- Why?
0:52:53 > 0:52:55Well, cos...
0:52:56 > 0:52:59Can you give her a message from me when she gets back?
0:52:59 > 0:53:00Yep.
0:53:00 > 0:53:01Can you tell her...
0:53:01 > 0:53:03er...
0:53:03 > 0:53:07her mother's driving over with me dad in the dark.
0:53:07 > 0:53:09I couldn't stop them. I tried.
0:53:09 > 0:53:12And you know, neither of them's eyesight is that good. But, er,
0:53:12 > 0:53:15I wanted to just warn her
0:53:15 > 0:53:18that she's upset. Erm, Celia.
0:53:18 > 0:53:20You, your granny. She's upset...
0:53:21 > 0:53:25..cos she's found out about this relationship, erm...
0:53:25 > 0:53:27Caroline's been having...
0:53:29 > 0:53:31..with, er, with...with...
0:53:31 > 0:53:33Kate.
0:53:35 > 0:53:36Yeah.
0:53:37 > 0:53:38Kate.
0:53:38 > 0:53:40What, you knew?
0:53:41 > 0:53:43Yeah.
0:53:46 > 0:53:48OK.
0:53:48 > 0:53:51Right. I'll...I'll tell her.
0:53:52 > 0:53:53Bye.
0:53:53 > 0:53:55Bye.
0:53:59 > 0:54:01What?
0:54:03 > 0:54:05Raff's gone to bed.
0:54:05 > 0:54:08I'm going to get off. I'm up at six.
0:54:08 > 0:54:09OK.
0:54:09 > 0:54:12Are you all right with this joker, or do you want me to deposit him somewhere?
0:54:12 > 0:54:16No, leave him. He's upset. He can sleep down here
0:54:16 > 0:54:19with Paul. I'll find him a duvet.
0:54:19 > 0:54:20Right.
0:54:20 > 0:54:24- Night.- Night.
0:54:31 > 0:54:33- Night.- Night.
0:54:40 > 0:54:42SHE SIGHS
0:55:05 > 0:55:06Help yourself.
0:55:10 > 0:55:11Dozy bugger.
0:55:14 > 0:55:16I suppose...
0:55:16 > 0:55:19you won't believe me...
0:55:19 > 0:55:22if I said I didn't really come over here to do that.
0:55:24 > 0:55:26It was just an excuse, really...
0:55:28 > 0:55:29..to see you again.
0:55:31 > 0:55:32I've...
0:55:32 > 0:55:34kept thinking about you.
0:55:57 > 0:55:59HE SIGHS
0:56:00 > 0:56:03Sorry, I need to rest me eyes for five minutes.
0:56:06 > 0:56:07Would you like a cup of coffee?
0:56:08 > 0:56:10Mm, we can do.
0:56:13 > 0:56:16He'll have t'wrong end of t'stick.
0:56:16 > 0:56:17Ring her!
0:56:18 > 0:56:20No.
0:56:20 > 0:56:21Would you like me to ring her?
0:56:21 > 0:56:22No!
0:56:34 > 0:56:35I can't decide....
0:56:36 > 0:56:38..if you're an evil git
0:56:38 > 0:56:42or if it's actually quite...flattering
0:56:42 > 0:56:44and romantic that you'd go to such lengths
0:56:44 > 0:56:47and piss so many people off so massively
0:56:47 > 0:56:49just to have an excuse to come and see me.
0:56:49 > 0:56:52None of it, it wasn't...
0:56:52 > 0:56:53I didn't plan it.
0:56:55 > 0:56:57And I'm not horrible.
0:56:57 > 0:56:59Just like you...
0:56:59 > 0:57:01said.
0:57:01 > 0:57:04About when Raff got annoyed with you. I'm just...
0:57:06 > 0:57:07..disappointingly human.
0:57:20 > 0:57:22Do you want to go upstairs?
0:57:33 > 0:57:36She's called Zanzibar, but I just call her Kate for short,
0:57:36 > 0:57:38it's easier.
0:57:38 > 0:57:40I think it would be better if I moved out.
0:57:40 > 0:57:43What's up with Caroline being a bit of a dyke anyway.
0:57:43 > 0:57:45He thinks I should meet Kate.
0:57:45 > 0:57:46Come in.
0:57:46 > 0:57:49- Are you all right? - Yeah, it'll be indigestion.
0:57:49 > 0:57:52The only one who's got anything to lose this evening is her.
0:57:52 > 0:57:54Turned my stomach when I saw her touch you.
0:57:54 > 0:57:56- Sorry, did you say something?- Nope.
0:57:56 > 0:58:00She disappointed me the way she talked to Caroline, I were shocked.
0:58:00 > 0:58:03You're not going to fall out with her though, are you? Dad?
0:58:25 > 0:58:28Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd