0:00:02 > 0:00:04- Is Caroline there?- She's had to rush somebody in to hospital.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07- I haven't a clue where John is. - Celia!- Oh, God.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Has something happened with Caroline?
0:00:09 > 0:00:11She's been having it off with another woman!
0:00:11 > 0:00:13What woman?
0:00:48 > 0:00:52It's out of a machine, I don't know what it'll taste like.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56You... Could you do with something to eat?
0:00:56 > 0:00:58No.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04He's a trouble-maker, that one.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08As I say, he'll have got hold of the wrong end o' stick.
0:01:08 > 0:01:09Or he's just lashing out, saying...
0:01:09 > 0:01:12first damned silly thing that's come into his head.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14She...
0:01:19 > 0:01:21When she was 18, she told me.
0:01:21 > 0:01:2519. End of her first year at Oxford.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28She came home. I hardly recognised her.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Skinny as a rake.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33And she'd cut all her lovely long hair off.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34Told you what?
0:01:37 > 0:01:40I said, "Well, for God's sake, don't tell your father.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42"Or anyone else. Not round here."
0:01:44 > 0:01:46No, I didn't want folk pointing,
0:01:46 > 0:01:48saying things.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Not for me, not for my sake. For hers.
0:01:54 > 0:01:58Some folks seemed to think she was enough of an oddity...
0:01:58 > 0:02:00having a brain and getting in at Oxford.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03- What folk?- Oh, folk.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06So, what happened?
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Well, nothing. Nothing.
0:02:09 > 0:02:10Er...
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Did she have...a friend, or...?
0:02:12 > 0:02:16There was one girl. I did wonder.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18You know when they say a name...
0:02:18 > 0:02:21once too often, in a particular way.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24But it wasn't anybody she ever brought home.
0:02:25 > 0:02:29And then, I don't know, few years passed and she met John.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32And that was it. It was forgotten.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36It was only ever mentioned that once.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40I suppose I imagined she'd got over it.
0:02:44 > 0:02:45DOOR CLOSES
0:02:49 > 0:02:50How do you get on?
0:02:50 > 0:02:53They stitched her up. Took her back to her flat.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57God! What a dump.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59He left me and the boys and this house
0:02:59 > 0:03:02to go and live in that squalid little hovel with her.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06Well, love is blind. And a form of madness.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Was William all right?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12He's asleep. I think they both are.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16So...
0:03:16 > 0:03:19do you want the bad news first, or...
0:03:19 > 0:03:22- the even worse news? - Oh, just as it comes.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Gillian rang. John's been over there, at her place...
0:03:25 > 0:03:29- John has?- Telling your mum all about us.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31And she got upset, apparently,
0:03:31 > 0:03:35your mum did, and she's on her way over here. Now, with Alan.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36Well, they can't drive in the dark!
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- They can't see properly, either of them!- Well, I...
0:03:39 > 0:03:43And anyway, John doesn't know all about us specifically. I didn't...
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Well, my name was mentioned.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49And the thing is, Lawrence took the call.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52- So, now he knows as well. - So...
0:03:54 > 0:03:55Well, what did he...?
0:03:55 > 0:04:00Shocked. Subdued. Certainly didn't want to hang around with me much after that.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02I said you'd pop up and look at him when you got in.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05- He didn't go straight on Facebook? - No! No, nothing like that.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09But it sounds like your mum took it quite badly.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12What the hell was John doing at Gillian's?
0:04:12 > 0:04:13Well, shit-stirring, by the sound of it.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16It's so far below the belt, it's...
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Even for him. I mean, God, she's 75!
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Yeah, well, he's lashing out, isn't he?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30- I'd better go and look at Lawrence. - Yeah.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34Listen, Caroline, I'm going to get off home.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Unless you want me here when your mum...
0:04:36 > 0:04:38No. Not yet.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47I'm sorry. It's not been much of a birthday.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Doesn't matter.
0:04:49 > 0:04:50Night, then.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Night.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Ring me.
0:05:04 > 0:05:05DOOR SHUTS
0:05:05 > 0:05:07SHE SIGHS
0:05:07 > 0:05:09DOOR CREAKS
0:05:10 > 0:05:13HE WEEPS SOFTLY
0:05:13 > 0:05:14Lawrence?
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Are you awake?
0:05:22 > 0:05:24I love you.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40I don't want people being mean to you.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Nobody's going to be mean to me. I won't let them.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50I'm big.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Believe me, I can handle mean.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07ENGINE RUNS THEN STOPS
0:06:19 > 0:06:21CLINKING
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- Good morning!- All right?
0:06:32 > 0:06:33Oh. Morning.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39- Morning, Gillian.- How do.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41- You're up early.- Early?
0:06:41 > 0:06:43It's gone half past seven.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45There's a pot of tea on the Aga.
0:06:45 > 0:06:46How...
0:06:46 > 0:06:48How are you this morning?
0:06:48 > 0:06:52I'll be happier when I've sorted out this pigging clutch!
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Is there anything I can do?
0:06:58 > 0:07:01How likely is that... on a scale of one to ten?
0:07:01 > 0:07:04Yeah. No, fair enough.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11We made love.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16You were upset, it was my birthday, we were both a bit pissed.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19- I...- Go pour yourself some tea. - I...- Then you'd better ring Caroline.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Cos I think you owe her one hell of an apology,
0:07:22 > 0:07:24trouble you caused last night.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27They got back safe, you'll be pleased to hear.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30It was ten past midnight.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34- She texted me.- It's no small thing, you know, finding out that your wife's been...- Yes.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36We got the picture. Very vividly.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Yesterday. All of us.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Go pour yourself some tea, posh bloke.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42- Who are you?- That's Paul.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44He was here yesterday. You have met him.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46No, I mean, what is he?
0:07:46 > 0:07:48I'm gigolo.
0:07:50 > 0:07:51HE SCOFFS
0:07:56 > 0:07:59- You been at it wi' 'im? - What's it to you?
0:07:59 > 0:08:00Slapper.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03- He is a very erudite man. - So am I.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07- Yeah, you don't know what it means. - Yeah, but if...I did, I would be.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11Yeah, good point, Paul. Can't argue with that!
0:08:16 > 0:08:18HE SNORTS
0:08:23 > 0:08:25KNOCK ON DOOR
0:08:31 > 0:08:32Hello.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34She's in bathroom.
0:08:36 > 0:08:37I'll give her a shout.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Celia? Caroline's here.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48Is she all right?
0:09:01 > 0:09:04I appreciate you didn't want to talk last night,
0:09:04 > 0:09:07but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry
0:09:07 > 0:09:10that you heard what you heard the way you heard it.
0:09:10 > 0:09:15I wanted to tell you myself properly, but obviously John...
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- I don't even know why John was there. Why was John there? - You know as much as me.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21I might wander down road, see if I can get a newspaper.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23No, there's no need.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26- Can I can fetch anything while I'm out?- You don't have to go out.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29- I fancy a bit of fresh air. - I'd rather you didn't.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Anything you've got to say to me, you can say to Alan.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35OK.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Well, look, I don't know exactly what's been said
0:09:38 > 0:09:43because I've had it third-hand from Gillian, via Lawrence, via... someone else.
0:09:43 > 0:09:44And, um...
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Well... I'm assuming it's nonsense.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53- Can I sit down? - It's your house.
0:09:53 > 0:09:54Oh, Mum!
0:09:57 > 0:09:59OK. So...
0:10:01 > 0:10:03When John went to live with Judith,
0:10:03 > 0:10:07well, you know I found it difficult for a while, and...
0:10:07 > 0:10:12some people were very supportive - you were, you were very kind - and...
0:10:12 > 0:10:16there was this person at school who, equally, was very...thoughtful
0:10:16 > 0:10:18and went out of her way to cheer me up.
0:10:18 > 0:10:23And people don't as a rule. I think...people are scared of me
0:10:23 > 0:10:25or they think I don't need a kind word now and again.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29But she didn't think like that, and we became close.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34And then she told me she had a bit of a...
0:10:35 > 0:10:38..crush on me,
0:10:38 > 0:10:40and...one thing led to another.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46She thinks the world of me and I think a lot about her,
0:10:46 > 0:10:48and it's what I want.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52- Why can't you just be friends? - Mum...- I don't know why there's this sudden...- It's not sudden.
0:10:52 > 0:10:57You've been married to that nitwit for the last 20 years.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59You can't just switch...
0:10:59 > 0:11:00I've known since I was...
0:11:01 > 0:11:06I once talked to you about it. Do you remember, when I was at university?
0:11:06 > 0:11:08You've probably forgotten.
0:11:10 > 0:11:11Why did you marry John?
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Because I liked him.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15I loved him. Because he asked me.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18And I thought we could have a good life together. And we did until he...
0:11:18 > 0:11:21Well, I'm sure there's plenty more men out there
0:11:21 > 0:11:25- who'd be more than...- Oh, Mum! Just try and get it.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28I'm too old to pretend any more.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32I'd like you, both of you, to meet...
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Kate.
0:11:36 > 0:11:37Is that her name?
0:11:37 > 0:11:40No, she's called Zanzibar Buck Buck McFate.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42I just call her Kate for short, it's easier!
0:11:45 > 0:11:49No, thank you. I don't think we do want to meet her.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51She's called Kate McKenzie.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55She's nice, she's kind, she's thoughtful, she's...
0:11:55 > 0:11:58- Is she Scottish? - No, she's Nigerian.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01No, I mean she is Nigerian.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04That wasn't me being...sarcastic.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15Well, I think me and Alan...
0:12:15 > 0:12:18have decided against the school chapel.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21- Why?- We'll make our own arrangements.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Right.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26And I think it would be better if I moved out.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29You'll have more space then anyway, won't you?
0:12:59 > 0:13:03So...plan. Plan is...
0:13:03 > 0:13:08er, Registry Office. In Halifax. Then...
0:13:08 > 0:13:12She wants me to give Darren and Kimberley notice to quit cottage.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15- Either that or rent somewhere. - You don't want to rent.
0:13:15 > 0:13:20Not if the long-term plan is to buy. It's just a waste of money.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23And I thought she had, like, an allergic reaction to the Registry Office.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Yeah, I know. Well, but...
0:13:25 > 0:13:31Why does she have to move out so fast? Is she frightened she's going to get infected with lesbian spores?
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Well, you know as much as me.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Well, I don't know that I do, Dad, but...
0:13:37 > 0:13:41What's up with Caroline being a bit of a dyke anyway?
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Well, I did raise that question.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Not quite in so many words.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47And what did she say?
0:13:47 > 0:13:50You'd not be saying that if it was your Gillian.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54I stopped worrying about who our Gillian slept with years ago.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55I had to.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58I'd have had a nervous breakdown if I hadn't!
0:14:00 > 0:14:04Except you never do stop worrying. I know, I understand that, but...
0:14:05 > 0:14:08..if this Kate's a nice person,
0:14:08 > 0:14:11and it sounds very much like she is,
0:14:11 > 0:14:13well, surely that's what matters.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14Eh? Isn't it?
0:14:16 > 0:14:19I think you just need time to get used to it.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21That's all. Surely.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Celia?
0:14:24 > 0:14:26It's nowt these days! Nobody bats an eyelid.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30Oh, they do. THEY do.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34People like to pretend they don't, but they do.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38But I tried to persuade her that she should meet this Kate.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41But she wouldn't even entertain the idea.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Course, none of it would've arisen if that dozy bugger
0:14:44 > 0:14:47hadn't been round her house last night...
0:14:47 > 0:14:50shooting his mouth off.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59DOOR SHUTS
0:15:14 > 0:15:16I specifically asked you not to tell my mum.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20I said, "Tell who the hell you like, but let me tell the boys and my mum."
0:15:20 > 0:15:21I didn't plan it.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24You didn't plan it? What do you mean, you didn't plan it?
0:15:24 > 0:15:27You drove 60 miles over to Halifax - how is that not planning it?
0:15:27 > 0:15:31- I...I wanted to talk to Gillian. - Gillian.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36Gillian and I... that time you drove off without me, after the engagement party,
0:15:36 > 0:15:38she...we...
0:15:38 > 0:15:41She was very supportive and sympathetic,
0:15:41 > 0:15:44- and I needed someone to talk to. - I knew you were infatuated with her.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46She's very...
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Look, I went to talk to Gillian.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51I didn't go to talk to Celia. That's the point.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53You probably don't believe me, but I forgot Celia was there.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Is she all right?
0:15:55 > 0:15:57No, she isn't.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00And I knew she wouldn't be, which was why I wanted to...
0:16:01 > 0:16:03What's the point?
0:16:03 > 0:16:05OK, well, look...
0:16:05 > 0:16:07I'm sorry, I am sorry, but...
0:16:08 > 0:16:10..I was upset.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Would it help if I apologised to her?
0:16:12 > 0:16:16No, it wouldn't. It'd make things worse.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20And I'd like it if you kept right out of anything to do with me from now on, OK?
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Where are the boys?
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Cinema.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Can I ask you something, just...
0:16:30 > 0:16:31out of interest?
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Out of all the...hundreds...
0:16:35 > 0:16:38thousands of times we had sex...
0:16:40 > 0:16:42..what were you thinking about?
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Do you mean, was I dreaming about other people?
0:16:44 > 0:16:47I don't know. I can't remember. Possibly.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50You know when you were screwing me at the same time you were screwing Judith?
0:16:50 > 0:16:54- What were you thinking about? - Yes, OK, but the point I... - I was a good wife.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56You were the one who blew it, John, not me.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00How long have you known this thing about yourself? I assume it's not something you cooked up last week.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04John, this is no reflection on you, if that's what you're bothered about.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06I married you because I liked you.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09A lot. I liked having sex with you.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13I'm sorry if that doesn't compute, but it's true. I liked you, I loved you!
0:17:13 > 0:17:17I wanted to have children with you and I wanted to grow old with you.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19You see...
0:17:19 > 0:17:20I feel used.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Used? You feel used?
0:17:26 > 0:17:30I'll tell you something. I was round at Judith's flat last night,
0:17:30 > 0:17:33bizarrely, not through choice - I'll explain why in a minute.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36You left me and the boys and this house
0:17:36 > 0:17:39to go and live in that shit-hole with, I think,
0:17:39 > 0:17:42possibly one of the most vulnerable women I've ever met.
0:17:42 > 0:17:46How useless, how drab do you think that makes me feel?
0:17:46 > 0:17:48You always manage to twist everything round to you.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Yes, well, I have the great advantage of having me on my side.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54- What were you doing round at her flat? - I was having sex with her.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56That was a joke.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- She slashed one of her wrists in the front garden.- Here?
0:17:59 > 0:18:03Mm. Not intentionally. She was just pissed, it wasn't that dramatic.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Well, actually, it was. William fainted.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09She was looking for you. She thought she'd upset you. She said she wanted to apologise to you.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13- Oh, God.- At nine o'clock last night, I was propping her up in casualty, covered in blood.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16As birthdays go, it was one of the more memorable ones.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- Oh, no! It was your... - Don't bother.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27- Will Celia be all right?- I don't know. She's not speaking to me.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Yeah! Die, boy, die!
0:18:32 > 0:18:35- Oi! How did you do that? - Numb nuts.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37- Grandad's back!- Grandad!
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Mr Buttershaw!
0:18:38 > 0:18:42You can play me, Grandad, when I've slaughtered this dilbert.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45- No, no! You're all right. - I'll get the kettle on.
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Is Celia all right?
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Hm? Er, well...
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Ah-ha-ha-ha!
0:18:56 > 0:19:01She reads Daily Mail, Celia. Did I tell you?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03How long have you known this?
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Oh, first time I went over, I spotted one.
0:19:05 > 0:19:09She says she only buys it for telly page, but...
0:19:09 > 0:19:10I'm not convinced.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Jesus, Dad!
0:19:14 > 0:19:16SHE CHUCKLES
0:19:16 > 0:19:18HE CHORTLES
0:19:21 > 0:19:24It doesn't surprise me, if I'm being honest.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Her buying Daily Mail.
0:19:28 > 0:19:29HE SIGHS
0:19:31 > 0:19:32This morning...
0:19:34 > 0:19:37..she disappointed me, way she spoke to Caroline.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39I was shocked.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43I know she likes to call a spade a bloody shovel now and again,
0:19:43 > 0:19:46and... well, it is part of her charm...
0:19:46 > 0:19:51but it obviously wasn't easy for lass, saying what she had to say,
0:19:51 > 0:19:53and it was just so unkind.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57So unthinking.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00So deep-rooted.
0:20:00 > 0:20:05You're not going to fall out with her, though, are you?
0:20:05 > 0:20:06Dad?
0:20:11 > 0:20:13RADIO
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Is Dad going to move out?
0:20:22 > 0:20:24I don't know.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- Is Miss McKenzie going to move in? - I don't know.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36- Do people at school know about you and Miss McKenzie?- No.- Mum. Granny.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44- Can I help you? - Can I have a word with you?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Alan rang last night.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03I drove him to the station on Thursday morning
0:21:03 > 0:21:06and then he didn't ring till last night.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09That's the longest we've gone not speaking to each other since we met up again.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Do you want to get to the point?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14He thinks I should meet Kate.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16OK.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Well, I'll see if Kate wants to meet you.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23- Has John gone? - No! He's still in the spare room.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Do William and Lawrence know about...?
0:21:25 > 0:21:29Kate? Yeah, they're fine. You're the only fly in the ointment as far as I'm concerned.
0:21:32 > 0:21:33I know you won't believe me,
0:21:33 > 0:21:37but I only ever have your best interests at heart, you know.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39I can cook dinner on Wednesday evening,
0:21:39 > 0:21:41assuming Kate's not busy.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44How would that fit in with you and Alan?
0:21:44 > 0:21:46I'll ask him.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Oh, God.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58- Will...will John be there? - God, no. I've taken care of John.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01- How?- Judith.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03She came round on Saturday afternoon
0:22:03 > 0:22:05offering to clean all the blood out of my car,
0:22:05 > 0:22:06by which time I'd already done it.
0:22:06 > 0:22:11So, she said, "Well, if ever there's anything else I can do for you."
0:22:11 > 0:22:14So, I've just texted her just now
0:22:14 > 0:22:16and asked her if she can keep him occupied on Wednesday evening.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19She just texted me back saying...
0:22:19 > 0:22:21"Consider it done."
0:22:21 > 0:22:22RAISED VOICES
0:22:24 > 0:22:29What part of "Felicitas, Sapientia et Integritas"
0:22:29 > 0:22:31do you people not understand?!
0:22:32 > 0:22:34GENTLE CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:22:41 > 0:22:43I wonder what Alan said to her,
0:22:43 > 0:22:45to make her change her mind.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47I'm not bigoted.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Good.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53- Or small-minded.- Right.
0:22:54 > 0:23:00- I think, reading between the lines, he threatened to dump her.- No!- Yep.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03So, I reckon she's got some pretty smart talking to do this evening.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07And I'm certainly not old-fashioned.
0:23:09 > 0:23:16And the suggestion that my attitude towards my own daughter is distasteful...
0:23:16 > 0:23:18I find bewildering.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20See, the thing she hasn't twigged
0:23:20 > 0:23:25is that I no longer need her permission, approval, anything.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29So, the only one who's got anything to lose this evening,
0:23:29 > 0:23:32whether she realises it or not, is her.
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Shall we set off?
0:23:40 > 0:23:43If I don't like her, I shan't pretend.
0:23:47 > 0:23:48KNOCK ON DOOR
0:23:54 > 0:23:55Come in.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Thanks.
0:24:03 > 0:24:04GUNFIRE ON COMPUTER GAME
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Supper's ready, lads!
0:24:07 > 0:24:09- All right?- All right.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14All right?
0:24:20 > 0:24:21It's wonderful.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23It's delightful.
0:24:23 > 0:24:28- I told all my mates at school and they think it's brilliant. - Oh!- It's just so uplifting.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30It's just so...extraordinary.
0:24:30 > 0:24:34Well, I suppose we're just lucky we came across each other again,
0:24:34 > 0:24:36after so many years.
0:24:36 > 0:24:40Yes. And...it's all thanks to William.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41And your Raff!
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Yeah, and our Raff. I'll drink to that.
0:24:43 > 0:24:48- They put our names on Facebook for us, you see.- Oh, I know! I know. Caroline told me all about it.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Oh. Well, there you go, then. And the rest is history.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55It's beautiful. You must feel...
0:24:55 > 0:24:59I don't know, just so special and happy, and...
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Don't you?
0:25:02 > 0:25:03Do we?
0:25:04 > 0:25:07I don't know. I suppose so, yes.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17Did you, er, ask Caroline about chapel again?
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Oh, yes.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Caroline, we were thinking...
0:25:21 > 0:25:25we might like to get married in the chapel after all.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27If we've not missed the boat.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31Right. Well, I'll... have another look in the diary.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35Well, as I say, if we've missed the boat, we'll have to make alternative arrangements.
0:25:39 > 0:25:40Do you need a choir?
0:25:40 > 0:25:43- Oh, a choir!- I run a choir, at school. Well, there are two -
0:25:43 > 0:25:46there's the school choir, and then there's the staff choir, so...
0:25:46 > 0:25:50- Kate teaches music as well as modern languages. - Oh, you must be very clever.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53- I'm in the school choir. - That's because you're a poof.
0:25:54 > 0:25:58He is. He fainted last week.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00He didn't. He just went a bit wobbly.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03- He fell over and lost consciousness!- Why, what happened?
0:26:03 > 0:26:04Nothing.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08We were talking about music for the wedding.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Hymns always sound better with a bit of volume.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14And we can rehearse a nice choral piece for you as well, if you like.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Oh, that would be smashing, wouldn't it, Celia?
0:26:17 > 0:26:18Did you have anything in mind?
0:26:18 > 0:26:24Ah...Celia's more up on those sort of things than me.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27She wants to arrive to The Arrival Of The Queen of Sheba!
0:26:27 > 0:26:28Wow!
0:26:30 > 0:26:34Did we? Have anything in mind as regards choral music?
0:26:34 > 0:26:38Well, there's no point in worrying about the details of what music we're having
0:26:38 > 0:26:42- till people have checked their diaries, is there? - It'll be fine, surely.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Won't it, Caroline?
0:26:44 > 0:26:46I'll discuss it with the Bursar.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49What's it got to do with him? I thought you reckoned to be the boss.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51He's responsible for the bookings.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56And he's not very keen on people who blow hot and cold.
0:26:58 > 0:26:59Well, as I say,
0:26:59 > 0:27:01if it's any trouble, forget it.
0:27:02 > 0:27:03OK.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09We would like to be married in chapel,
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Caroline, if it's still an option.
0:27:11 > 0:27:15Perhaps you could tell the Bursar that we're very sorry
0:27:15 > 0:27:18if he thinks we've messed him about.
0:27:18 > 0:27:19SHE MOUTHS
0:27:21 > 0:27:23- What were you doing fainting, William?- I didn't.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Judith slashed an artery
0:27:25 > 0:27:29and Ma got sprayed in mad alky woman bloo-ood.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31- Tell him to shut up.- An artery?!
0:27:31 > 0:27:33- Not on purpose. - What was she doing here?
0:27:33 > 0:27:35- I think she was just drunk. - Like a skunk.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Oh. Were you here?
0:27:40 > 0:27:41- Pussy.- Idiot!
0:27:43 > 0:27:48- Can we just all calm down, please, because I'm going to get angry in a minute.- We wouldn't want that.
0:27:50 > 0:27:51Sorry, did you say something?
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Nope.
0:27:53 > 0:27:54HE SNIGGERS
0:27:57 > 0:28:01- Where are you going on your honeymoon?- Um...
0:28:01 > 0:28:03Well, we haven't discussed it, but, um...
0:28:03 > 0:28:05- Will you go abroad, or...? - Um, I don't know.
0:28:05 > 0:28:10Well, we could. Yeah, I'm easy. It depends what Celia wants.
0:28:10 > 0:28:14Can I have a word with you in another room, please?
0:28:14 > 0:28:15Certainly.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24Excuse me.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Can you just for once in your life make a bit of effort?
0:28:32 > 0:28:34What is the point of you being here if you're just going to sit there
0:28:34 > 0:28:38like a wet weekend every time Kate opens her mouth?
0:28:38 > 0:28:40You wanted me to meet her. He wanted me to meet her.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43I have. Big deal. Can I go now?
0:28:43 > 0:28:45Why are you being like this?
0:28:45 > 0:28:50Because I can't stand seeing you make a fool of yourself.
0:28:50 > 0:28:53Mum, I'm not making a fool of myself. Only you think that.
0:28:53 > 0:28:56No, love. I'm the only one that'll tell you.
0:28:56 > 0:28:59Oh, Mum, this is going to end really badly. You're... It's going to...
0:28:59 > 0:29:02This is how people fall out with each other.
0:29:02 > 0:29:06Mm. Well, on your head be it.
0:29:06 > 0:29:08No. No. No. Look...
0:29:09 > 0:29:11You've got Alan.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13Why can't you just accept that I want to be with Kate,
0:29:13 > 0:29:15that I'm old enough to know what I want
0:29:15 > 0:29:21and accept it and be civilised about it instead of this excruciating pantomime?
0:29:21 > 0:29:22You're not in love with her.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24Why are you saying that?
0:29:24 > 0:29:26- Because you told me.- No, I didn't. - The other morning.
0:29:26 > 0:29:28What are you talking about?
0:29:28 > 0:29:31You said, "She thinks the world of me."
0:29:31 > 0:29:34And I didn't hear you say, "And I think
0:29:34 > 0:29:37"the world of her back" or anything remotely like it.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40All I heard was, "And I quite like her."
0:29:40 > 0:29:42I said I like her a lot!
0:29:42 > 0:29:44- She's having you on.- Having me on?!
0:29:44 > 0:29:49She just wants to get promoted, reckoning to gaze at you.
0:29:49 > 0:29:53Yeah, that's right, cos nobody could like me just for being me, could they?
0:29:53 > 0:29:56It turned my stomach when I saw her touch you.
0:29:56 > 0:29:58Turned your...?!
0:29:58 > 0:30:01She touched my hand.
0:30:01 > 0:30:03Well, God knows what else you've been up to.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05Oh, this was a mistake, wasn't it?
0:30:05 > 0:30:10Look, like I said, you wanted me to meet her. I have.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12You'd better go.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27I'll be next door.
0:30:30 > 0:30:31ALAN SIGHS
0:30:34 > 0:30:36- You all right, love?- Yeah.
0:30:36 > 0:30:39Tough as old boots, me.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42Resilient, bombproof, fireproof, you name it.
0:30:45 > 0:30:48I'm...going upstairs.
0:30:53 > 0:30:55I'm just going to make a quick call.
0:31:12 > 0:31:14Yeah, can I order a cab, please?
0:31:14 > 0:31:15I'll, um...
0:31:15 > 0:31:19She's, er, gone back round next door.
0:31:19 > 0:31:20I'll, er...
0:31:20 > 0:31:23I'll go and see if, er...
0:31:23 > 0:31:24what she's, er...
0:31:24 > 0:31:26ALAN SIGHS
0:31:26 > 0:31:29I haven't even served the second course.
0:31:29 > 0:31:31Hardly anything to eat.
0:31:31 > 0:31:34Well, it were very nice, the starter.
0:31:35 > 0:31:37Where's Lawrence?
0:31:37 > 0:31:39Um, I think he's, um...
0:31:41 > 0:31:44And, er, look, thank you, Caroline.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46And, er...
0:31:46 > 0:31:48I'm sorry.
0:31:48 > 0:31:51I'll, um... I'll...
0:31:51 > 0:31:52Yeah.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55- Thanks for...- No, that's...
0:31:55 > 0:31:56Night-night, love.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58Yeah.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01Sorry. Thank you. Night-night.
0:32:01 > 0:32:03- Night-night, William.- Night.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06When you were shouting, we could hear every word you and Granny said.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16Kate? What are you doing?!
0:32:16 > 0:32:20- I called a cab.- Why? - I'm going home.
0:32:20 > 0:32:22Well, why? I thought you were going to stay the night.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24Yeah, well, I'm not now, so...
0:32:24 > 0:32:25Oh, look...
0:32:25 > 0:32:29- Wow, she's hardcore, isn't she, your mum?- I don't know what you heard...- It's fine.
0:32:29 > 0:32:33It's fine. I always knew you didn't feel the same way about me as I did about you.
0:32:33 > 0:32:35But telling her that before she's even met me?
0:32:35 > 0:32:39No, I was just trying to explain how it...started.
0:32:39 > 0:32:42Caroline, it's fine, honestly. I'm just going home.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44- Oh, come back inside.- No.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46- Please.- No.- I'm freezing.
0:32:46 > 0:32:51- I'll see you tomorrow. The cab'll be here in a minute.- Nobody's eaten anything.- It'll save.
0:32:51 > 0:32:52Come back inside.
0:32:52 > 0:32:56- I've got stuff to do. - No, you haven't!- No, I have.
0:32:57 > 0:33:00Fine. Then I'll wait with you.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03- You'll freeze.- I don't care.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05I might as well be dead anyway.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07Caroline, go back inside.
0:33:07 > 0:33:08Well, don't go.
0:33:18 > 0:33:20Oh, well...
0:33:21 > 0:33:24That's that done.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27Yeah. Yeah, that's that done.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32Are you all right?
0:33:32 > 0:33:34No, Celia, I'm not.
0:33:34 > 0:33:37I'm disappointed.
0:33:38 > 0:33:42How can you sit there and say you're not bigoted
0:33:42 > 0:33:47and not small-minded, and then carry on like you just did?
0:34:17 > 0:34:19Then what did she say?
0:34:21 > 0:34:23Dad?
0:34:24 > 0:34:26Nothing.
0:34:28 > 0:34:31So, I said...
0:34:31 > 0:34:36"When I said, 'I think you ought to meet Kate,'
0:34:36 > 0:34:40"what I meant was that I think you ought to...
0:34:40 > 0:34:42"try to get on with Kate."
0:34:44 > 0:34:47Then she said, "Oh, well, you didn't make that clear."
0:34:47 > 0:34:51And I said, "Well, I shouldn't have to!"
0:34:52 > 0:34:57And she said, "Well, Alan...
0:34:57 > 0:35:00"at the end of the day...
0:35:00 > 0:35:03"it's not really any of your business."
0:35:03 > 0:35:06She spoke to you like that?
0:35:11 > 0:35:14And what did you say?
0:35:14 > 0:35:17That we'd reached end o' line.
0:35:23 > 0:35:26Well...
0:35:26 > 0:35:27It's up to you.
0:35:29 > 0:35:33Well, I've made it as plain as I can.
0:35:33 > 0:35:37I can't pretend to be happy about something if I'm not.
0:35:38 > 0:35:42I mean, it'd be dishonest.
0:35:42 > 0:35:43It'd be deceitful.
0:35:48 > 0:35:51She can't see how destructive it is.
0:35:53 > 0:35:54HE SIGHS
0:35:56 > 0:35:59Well, you know...
0:36:00 > 0:36:02Doesn't she have a point?
0:36:03 > 0:36:06It is between them, isn't it, really?
0:36:06 > 0:36:09How can it make her happy,
0:36:09 > 0:36:13alienating herself from her own people, her own family,
0:36:13 > 0:36:15people who care about her?
0:36:15 > 0:36:19I'm not defending her. I'm just trying to...
0:36:21 > 0:36:23I don't know.
0:36:23 > 0:36:26When you love someone, isn't it like warts and all?
0:36:26 > 0:36:27Come hell or high water?
0:36:30 > 0:36:33So, how have you left it?
0:36:34 > 0:36:36I think we've acknowledged that...
0:36:38 > 0:36:40..we've reached the end o' road.
0:36:42 > 0:36:43Oh, God, that's...
0:36:47 > 0:36:50I'm really sorry.
0:36:53 > 0:36:57Dad, I'm really sorry.
0:37:54 > 0:37:55KNOCK ON WINDOW
0:37:56 > 0:37:58Mum?
0:38:00 > 0:38:02Let her in.
0:38:22 > 0:38:24Have you got a minute?
0:38:24 > 0:38:26What do you want?
0:38:37 > 0:38:41He's finished with me. Alan.
0:38:44 > 0:38:45Oh.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56So, you'll be satisfied.
0:38:56 > 0:38:59Will I? Why?
0:38:59 > 0:39:03Well, it's all because of this business.
0:39:05 > 0:39:06How?
0:39:07 > 0:39:12- How?- Well...who'd want to marry into a family like this?
0:39:12 > 0:39:14Alan didn't say that. You embarrassed him last night.
0:39:14 > 0:39:16No-one else. Don't you dare blame me.
0:39:16 > 0:39:19I don't think I can carry on.
0:39:19 > 0:39:23- Join the club.- Caroline, you have no idea.
0:39:23 > 0:39:27- Haven't I? - I've been so happy.
0:39:28 > 0:39:31Happier than I've been for years.
0:39:31 > 0:39:34Decades! Half a bloody century!
0:39:34 > 0:39:38Well, if it's any consolation, Kate's finished with me.
0:39:38 > 0:39:40In fact, this morning...
0:39:43 > 0:39:46..she handed her resignation in.
0:39:47 > 0:39:52And that's how much she can't stand being near me any more. So, ten out of ten.
0:39:52 > 0:39:55Bingo! Hit the jackpot, got what you wanted.
0:39:55 > 0:39:58"I don't want to be a nuisance. I'd hate to be a nuisance.
0:39:58 > 0:40:03"No, I'll just bugger everyone's life up for them instead by being a nasty, small-minded old bitch!"
0:40:03 > 0:40:07You are going to die very bitter and very, very, very lonely.
0:40:07 > 0:40:09You know that, don't you?
0:40:09 > 0:40:12I'm heartbroken!
0:40:12 > 0:40:16Good! You deserve to be. You don't deserve Alan. He's worth a thousand of you.
0:40:16 > 0:40:18Caroline!
0:40:18 > 0:40:19Oh, fuck off.
0:40:19 > 0:40:24- What's going on?- Mind your own business.- Caroline, don't speak to your mother like that!
0:40:24 > 0:40:27She's not my mother. I haven't got a mother!
0:40:28 > 0:40:31What's happened?
0:40:40 > 0:40:43SHE SOBS
0:40:43 > 0:40:45- Why don't you...? - Sit down.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47Can I...?
0:40:47 > 0:40:51- Shall I...? Do you want some tea? - No, I...I don't want anything.
0:40:54 > 0:40:57I'm sorry I said what I said at Gillian's. It was stupid
0:40:57 > 0:41:00and selfish and horrible.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03- But true.- Yes.
0:41:05 > 0:41:09- Did you know?- No.
0:41:12 > 0:41:14I did.
0:41:17 > 0:41:19Are you all right?
0:41:19 > 0:41:22- Can I get you anything? Is there anything I can do for you?- No.
0:41:23 > 0:41:26Well, look, just ring. I'm just next door if...
0:41:26 > 0:41:28- Yeah.- ..there's anything.
0:41:53 > 0:41:54TV IS ON
0:41:58 > 0:42:00- Dad?- Mm?
0:42:01 > 0:42:05- You know Robbie?- Yeah.
0:42:08 > 0:42:13He's asked me out with him. I mean, like, properly.
0:42:14 > 0:42:16Like...an item.
0:42:16 > 0:42:21- Robbie?- You know that night you went missing?
0:42:21 > 0:42:25- You know I told you how good he was?- Yeah.
0:42:26 > 0:42:28He kind of...
0:42:30 > 0:42:34Well, he said he thought we'd make a good team.
0:42:34 > 0:42:35Me and him and Raff.
0:42:37 > 0:42:41And you know I told you he apologised for all the crap?
0:42:43 > 0:42:46And you know, I used to see him a bit.
0:42:47 > 0:42:50- Before I went out with Eddie. - Did you?- Yeah.
0:42:53 > 0:42:56It was only cos of Robbie I ever met Eddie.
0:42:57 > 0:42:58Don't you remember?
0:43:00 > 0:43:02I think...
0:43:02 > 0:43:04I sometimes think...
0:43:04 > 0:43:09that's why he got vindictive like he did when Eddie died.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11Cos he'd never forgiven me for that.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13Well, I don't know.
0:43:13 > 0:43:16I do like him.
0:43:16 > 0:43:18I've always liked him.
0:43:22 > 0:43:24Do you think I'm mad?
0:43:27 > 0:43:29Are you all right?
0:43:29 > 0:43:32Oh, yeah, it'll be indigestion.
0:43:53 > 0:43:55DOORBELL RINGS
0:43:59 > 0:44:02DOOR OPENS
0:44:03 > 0:44:06- Hello.- Hello.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08Have you got a minute?
0:44:22 > 0:44:24I love Caroline.
0:44:24 > 0:44:26Of course you do. She's your daughter.
0:44:31 > 0:44:34I had an unhappy marriage.
0:44:34 > 0:44:36Did you?
0:44:36 > 0:44:39Well, he was unfaithful.
0:44:39 > 0:44:41I'm sorry.
0:44:41 > 0:44:43I should have left him, but...
0:44:43 > 0:44:46people didn't so much in those days.
0:44:46 > 0:44:48No.
0:44:49 > 0:44:53I stuck it out with as much dignity as I could.
0:44:53 > 0:44:56But it was all pretty joyless.
0:44:59 > 0:45:02And she was the one thing that kept me going.
0:45:04 > 0:45:08We used to be pals. We always had a laugh...
0:45:09 > 0:45:13..when she was at home, before she went off to college.
0:45:15 > 0:45:17And after, now and again.
0:45:20 > 0:45:23She always had a look of my dad.
0:45:23 > 0:45:24I loved my dad.
0:45:26 > 0:45:29He was very tall. Very good-looking.
0:45:33 > 0:45:35I still miss my dad every day.
0:45:36 > 0:45:38It's daft, isn't it?
0:45:40 > 0:45:44People say that you marry someone who reminds you of your dad,
0:45:44 > 0:45:47but I don't think I did.
0:45:51 > 0:45:52The thing that worries me...
0:45:56 > 0:45:59The thing that worried me...
0:46:00 > 0:46:04When she told me, when she was 18,
0:46:04 > 0:46:07what worried me was...I thought...
0:46:09 > 0:46:12- You see, I thought it was my fault.- Why?
0:46:12 > 0:46:16Projecting things onto her. Expectations, ideas.
0:46:16 > 0:46:22I don't know, with being so disappointed in Kenneth.
0:46:22 > 0:46:23I mean, not on purpose.
0:46:23 > 0:46:27No, Celia, listen, that's not how it works.
0:46:27 > 0:46:31And then that, I thought, was my fault.
0:46:31 > 0:46:35- Celia...- Yes, stupid. I know now. I do.
0:46:36 > 0:46:38But then I couldn't.
0:46:42 > 0:46:45I'm sorry I've been so...
0:46:45 > 0:46:46blinkered.
0:46:48 > 0:46:50I've caused a lot of trouble, I know.
0:46:52 > 0:46:55I...I just want her to be happy.
0:46:57 > 0:46:59I know she doesn't believe that.
0:47:04 > 0:47:06Don't leave her.
0:47:32 > 0:47:33THEY LAUGH
0:47:37 > 0:47:39Oh!
0:47:43 > 0:47:45When did you come back?
0:47:45 > 0:47:47Alan?
0:47:47 > 0:47:50Alan!
0:48:41 > 0:48:43- Oh, hello, love.- Oh, hiya.
0:48:43 > 0:48:46- I'm looking for Alan. - Didn't Gillian ring you?
0:48:46 > 0:48:50He's in hospital. He were rushed in last night.
0:48:50 > 0:48:52He had a heart attack.
0:48:52 > 0:48:54Did you know he had a funny heart?
0:48:54 > 0:48:58He was sat there. He just went funny. It were horrible.
0:48:58 > 0:49:01And his heart stopped once over, but they got it going again, the paramedics.
0:49:01 > 0:49:04They were amazing. I was right impressed.
0:49:05 > 0:49:08But yeah, technically, for a few seconds he were dead.
0:49:12 > 0:49:14Oh, Jesus...
0:49:14 > 0:49:17Are you all right?
0:49:26 > 0:49:32- Can I help you?- I'm looking for, er, Al... Er, Mr Buttershaw. Alan Buttershaw.
0:49:32 > 0:49:34He was brought in with a heart attack.
0:49:34 > 0:49:37- And who are you? - I'm his best friend.
0:49:54 > 0:49:56Celia...
0:49:56 > 0:49:58I'd have rung, but...
0:49:59 > 0:50:03..I didn't know how things were between you. I mean, he told me you'd split up. And then...
0:50:03 > 0:50:05SHE SOBS
0:50:05 > 0:50:09He's been... so unhappy, and then...
0:50:12 > 0:50:13Mum...
0:50:18 > 0:50:20You haven't really fallen out, have you?
0:50:20 > 0:50:23Oh, it was all my fault.
0:50:23 > 0:50:26But I've put everything right now.
0:50:26 > 0:50:29And I need him to know I've put everything right.
0:50:31 > 0:50:33Come out here.
0:50:43 > 0:50:47- I, um... - Paul told me what happened.
0:50:47 > 0:50:49OK. Well, um...
0:50:51 > 0:50:54The thing is, it's bad...
0:50:54 > 0:50:56what happened.
0:50:58 > 0:51:04They're worried that there was, er, a lot of damage done, and, um...
0:51:09 > 0:51:12They're saying that...
0:51:13 > 0:51:18..we've got to be brave, because it's probably just a matter of...
0:51:24 > 0:51:26..time.
0:51:31 > 0:51:33Has he been conscious?
0:51:34 > 0:51:35At all?
0:51:38 > 0:51:40Have you been here all night?
0:51:43 > 0:51:46Can I sit with him for a bit?
0:51:46 > 0:51:48I've things I need to tell him.
0:51:48 > 0:51:50Of course.
0:51:50 > 0:51:54He was disappointed with me. I know he was.
0:51:55 > 0:51:57But I've made everything right now.
0:51:57 > 0:51:59Tell him.
0:52:23 > 0:52:25Don't go.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28Not yet.
0:52:29 > 0:52:33We've still got to have a lot of laughs, you and me.
0:52:43 > 0:52:45Right, well...
0:52:46 > 0:52:49..the good news is...
0:52:49 > 0:52:53that I'm not bigoted or small-minded, as it turns out.
0:52:55 > 0:52:58What it was was...it was me.
0:52:59 > 0:53:03It's all psychobabble and rubbish, probably, but...
0:53:04 > 0:53:10..I was blaming myself for her being the other way inclined.
0:53:11 > 0:53:14That was why I was hoping it would go away if...
0:53:14 > 0:53:17I played hardball long enough.
0:53:18 > 0:53:22But I've been on the road to Damascus and come out the other side.
0:53:24 > 0:53:27They're back together, anyway, the ladies.
0:53:28 > 0:53:31So, I'm hoping that...
0:53:31 > 0:53:33I'm assuming...
0:53:33 > 0:53:37that you and I are back on vis-a-vis the wedding.
0:53:37 > 0:53:39So, I just...
0:53:39 > 0:53:43thought I'd take you through the itinerary, Mr Buttershaw.
0:53:45 > 0:53:50Just speak up if there's anything you're not happy with.
0:53:54 > 0:53:56What's she talking to him about?
0:53:58 > 0:54:00God knows.
0:54:30 > 0:54:32Mum...
0:54:32 > 0:54:34Hello, love.
0:54:46 > 0:54:48I love you.
0:54:48 > 0:54:50I know you do.
0:54:51 > 0:54:55I am sorry about all those things I said to you yesterday.
0:54:55 > 0:54:57It doesn't matter.
0:54:57 > 0:54:59It's forgotten.
0:54:59 > 0:55:01How is he?
0:55:03 > 0:55:05Not good.
0:55:07 > 0:55:11I've brought you some things.
0:55:12 > 0:55:15A flask.
0:55:15 > 0:55:17I made you some sandwiches.
0:55:18 > 0:55:20And a Daily Mail.
0:55:20 > 0:55:24Oh... Aren't you...?
0:55:24 > 0:55:26You are, you know.
0:55:28 > 0:55:30You're perfect.
0:55:30 > 0:55:32So are you.
0:55:33 > 0:55:34No, I'm not.
0:55:34 > 0:55:36I think you are.
0:55:38 > 0:55:41Well, you're not, but you're very entertaining.
0:55:41 > 0:55:45Yeah. Never a dull moment.
0:55:46 > 0:55:48Hey, Alan?
0:55:48 > 0:55:51'Celia! Celia!
0:55:51 > 0:55:54- 'Hello, Alan! - Are you doing owt next Tuesday?'
0:55:54 > 0:55:56HORN BLARES
0:56:04 > 0:56:06Celia! I didn't see you there.
0:56:06 > 0:56:09Oh, hello, Alan! How's things?
0:56:09 > 0:56:12I'm just going up to corner shop. I could walk up wi' you.
0:56:12 > 0:56:13What you fetching?
0:56:13 > 0:56:18Oh, I don't know. A tin of peas and some firelighters for me mother.
0:56:18 > 0:56:21- Is that what you're having for your tea?- Yeah! Not the firelighters!
0:56:21 > 0:56:22THEY LAUGH
0:56:22 > 0:56:24What are you having?
0:56:24 > 0:56:28Oh, I don't know. What day is it? Wednesday. It'll be sausages.
0:56:28 > 0:56:31Burnt, no doubt, if me mother's got anything to do with it!
0:56:33 > 0:56:36- How's Jessops?- Yeah, great, I love it.
0:56:36 > 0:56:39- How's Co-op?- Not so bad.
0:56:39 > 0:56:41Well, see you, then.
0:56:41 > 0:56:43Yeah, I'll see you, then.
0:56:44 > 0:56:47- Celia?- Yeah?
0:56:48 > 0:56:50Are... Are you doing owt next Tuesday?
0:56:50 > 0:56:54Only there's... We could...
0:56:54 > 0:56:57- If you fancied... - Tuesday? What time?
0:56:57 > 0:56:59Six o'clock?
0:56:59 > 0:57:01I could meet you by bridge, or...
0:57:01 > 0:57:03we could go and see summat at flicks.
0:57:03 > 0:57:05Smashing.
0:57:06 > 0:57:10I always knew you'd turn up... eventually.
0:57:12 > 0:57:16Even if it took you 60 years.
0:57:16 > 0:57:18Hello!
0:57:19 > 0:57:21I think... I thought...
0:57:22 > 0:57:25Did I come to see you last night?
0:57:25 > 0:57:28Or were I dreaming?
0:57:29 > 0:57:32Yes! You did!
0:57:33 > 0:57:36You came to see me.
0:57:36 > 0:57:38I wanted to say sorry.
0:57:40 > 0:57:42And I love you.
0:57:44 > 0:57:47And I don't care.
0:57:50 > 0:57:52You've a lovely face.
0:57:52 > 0:57:55Oh, so have you.
0:58:00 > 0:58:03I went round to Kate's house last night.
0:58:03 > 0:58:05Kate?
0:58:06 > 0:58:07They're back together.
0:58:07 > 0:58:10Oh!
0:58:10 > 0:58:12And you'll never guess...
0:58:12 > 0:58:14What?
0:58:14 > 0:58:16You can play the organ?
0:58:16 > 0:58:19- What, like the full, big... - Grade 8.
0:58:19 > 0:58:26So, I said to her, "Oh, you'll know The Arrival Of The Queen Of Sheba, then.
0:58:26 > 0:58:29"That'll be coming in handy!"
0:58:29 > 0:58:31HE LAUGHS
0:58:31 > 0:58:35MUSIC: "The Arrival Of The Queen Of Sheba" by Handel
0:58:35 > 0:58:39THEY LAUGH
0:59:03 > 0:59:06Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd