0:00:02 > 0:00:03What are we going to call this baby?
0:00:03 > 0:00:05Gillian had an abortion when she was 15.
0:00:05 > 0:00:06I want to be somebody's mum.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08I just never knew I'd been a dad.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11- You weren't.- I'm not being funny but I'm off home.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13It's poisonous. Saying something like that.
0:00:13 > 0:00:18Don't you dare say anything about Celia to me!
0:00:18 > 0:00:20They're going off on a mucky weekend.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22I'm taking Kate to a nice little hotel for the weekend.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24We're baby-sitting the boys.
0:00:24 > 0:00:25Have you seen Ellie?
0:00:25 > 0:00:28She's not upstairs. She's not downstairs. Her stuff's gone.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30- Thanks for coming. - No problem.
0:00:30 > 0:00:31I want to tell you something.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35He'd smashed his head open. With the log splitter.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Down in t'barn. He'd done it on purpose.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40She'd finished him off.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43With a block of wood. She killed him.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46I'm going to look after the baby while you do your shift
0:00:46 > 0:00:47- at Greenhough's. - You sure?
0:00:47 > 0:00:49I am...very fond of you.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Have I said too much?
0:01:40 > 0:01:41No. No.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Have I upset you?
0:01:43 > 0:01:48Well, it's a shock. I suppose.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51You won't tell anyone? Not even Caroline.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53I don't tell her everything.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Are you all right?
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Well...
0:01:59 > 0:02:02I know what it can feel like to feel trapped,
0:02:02 > 0:02:04with the wrong person.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Yeah. Well, she were.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08What could you have done,
0:02:08 > 0:02:11if it'd all happened by the time you got there?
0:02:11 > 0:02:15It's like I said before - when I gave you the edited version -
0:02:15 > 0:02:18there were no way I were shopping her to t'police.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21And it weren't just her! There were t'lad.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23He were only seven.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26What good could she have done him in prison?
0:02:27 > 0:02:30You probably did the right thing. You probably did the only thing.
0:02:30 > 0:02:35I'd've had to live with it either way, as what I'd done.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38And Robbie suspected?
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Yeah.
0:02:39 > 0:02:44He looked into it. They'd have looked into it anyway,
0:02:44 > 0:02:47and they did ask questions.
0:02:47 > 0:02:48Lots of questions.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52They had me in twice.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Who rang the police?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56She did.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58I told her it'd look odd if I'd got there
0:02:58 > 0:03:01and then I'd been one to ring.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06You kept your nerve.
0:03:06 > 0:03:07I had to for her sake.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10And I had to hope to God she'd keep hers.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14Because if she hadn't, I'd have been an accessory after the fact.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15I was an accessory after the fact.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21I am an accessory after the fact.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Anyway, look.
0:03:24 > 0:03:29That is why she ought to be a bit more grateful,
0:03:29 > 0:03:32a bit more courteous, and why, ten years on,
0:03:32 > 0:03:36it's no hardship to me to put a little distance between me
0:03:36 > 0:03:41and her, and if I never have reason to set foot in that barn again...
0:03:41 > 0:03:44I'd be a very happy man.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48I am a very happy man.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53Like I never imagined that I could be, ever again.
0:03:55 > 0:04:00It's ten past three. Aren't we meant to be looking after Lawrence?
0:04:24 > 0:04:26DOOR OPENS
0:04:26 > 0:04:27Hello?
0:04:27 > 0:04:28Hello!
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Hello.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Hi. How're you? How's things?
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Pretty weird.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39Course.
0:04:42 > 0:04:43Where's me mum?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Work. I offered to look after...
0:04:47 > 0:04:48Right.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50She rang. And she sounded pretty low,
0:04:50 > 0:04:53so I offered to pop over and help out.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54Why did she ask you?
0:04:54 > 0:04:58Oh. Well. Just... I dunno.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06So, you've driven 60 miles over from Harrogate to baby-sit?
0:05:06 > 0:05:10Well not just... As I say, she sounded rather low, so...
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Right. Do you want some tea?
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Got some. Thanks.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20OK. Well I'm here now anyway, so...
0:05:20 > 0:05:23if you wanted to miss rush hour. M62 gets well jammed.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25- Especially on a Friday. - Oh. No. The thing is,
0:05:25 > 0:05:27she invited me to stay for supper.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Oh. OK.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Are you all right with her, then? If I play on the Xbox?
0:05:37 > 0:05:38- Sure!- Or she can come and sit and watch me.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42How are things? With... is it Ellie?
0:05:43 > 0:05:45She's cleared off.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Oh, she's at her mother's. Gillian said.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50She had a phone call from someone. Harry?
0:05:51 > 0:05:57Right. I don't know then. How things are. Legally.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00I don't know if that means she's left her with me and that's it,
0:06:00 > 0:06:04or if it means she can just come back any time she likes
0:06:04 > 0:06:05and just take her.
0:06:05 > 0:06:06No. No. You have rights too.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08You're on the birth certificate as the father.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12- Not yet, we've not...- Oh, well. You'll want to sort that out.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13I would, straightaway, right now.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16You've got to protect your interests.
0:06:16 > 0:06:17The law is weighted massively,
0:06:17 > 0:06:19ridiculously on the side of the mother.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23If you're not even on the birth certificate, legally you're...
0:06:23 > 0:06:24stuffed.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Listen, I'm talking as someone whose relationship with his children
0:06:27 > 0:06:29has been really compromised by being married
0:06:29 > 0:06:32to a mad manipulative lesbian.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36I thought it was cos you had a fling wi' that, um....
0:06:36 > 0:06:37Judith?
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Why don't I drive you into Halifax? Get it done.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- Now? - You need to phone her. Ellie.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Tell her we'll pick her up. You both need to be there.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Ten o'clock, no later than.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Don't let him persuade you that it's the weekend
0:06:53 > 0:06:55and he can stay up till any time he likes.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Keep an eye on how much snackage he gets through otherwise
0:06:57 > 0:07:01he won't eat any of the meals you go to the trouble of preparing for him.
0:07:01 > 0:07:049:30 in the morning he needs to be at rugby. He knows that,
0:07:04 > 0:07:07but if you can be on top of it as well. What else?
0:07:07 > 0:07:09I've invited Angus round for a sleep-over.
0:07:11 > 0:07:12Can you handle that?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Is he Scottish?
0:07:14 > 0:07:15No.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17I imagine we'll muddle through.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Right. I'm going to get changed.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Me and Kate can give you a lift to work, Will, if you like.
0:07:21 > 0:07:25- It's on our way. - Yeah. Whatever.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Sorry, was that, "Thanks, Mum, thanks for offering me a lift
0:07:28 > 0:07:30"to work so I don't have to catch a bus"?
0:07:30 > 0:07:31Bloody hate that job.
0:07:31 > 0:07:32You know he hates that job.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Yes, well, when he's been to university he'll be able to get
0:07:35 > 0:07:38a properly-paid job that doesn't bore him rigid, won't he?
0:07:38 > 0:07:41And he'll appreciate it more. How's Alan?
0:07:41 > 0:07:43He's fine, he's watching Countdown.
0:07:46 > 0:07:47I rang Gillian.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49I thought I told you not to.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51I think she knows she overreacted.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53I said don't ring her!
0:07:53 > 0:07:55I told her you were upset and sorry,
0:07:55 > 0:07:57and she says she thinks she's probably a bit hormonal.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59I asked you not to interfere.
0:07:59 > 0:08:00I was worried about her.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03You were worried about her?
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Both of you. I was worried about both of you.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08I'm going to get changed.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Yeah, go on. Slink off.
0:08:15 > 0:08:16What about something literary?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Oh, yes.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Like...?
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Like Vita. Or Virginia.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Or...Aphra...
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- Who? - Behn.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Isn't that a boy's name?
0:08:30 > 0:08:32I want to call her Elsie, after my grandad's mother.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Elsie.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36- That is so old.- So?
0:08:36 > 0:08:38She were a character were Alan's mother.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40By God, she was.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Do you remember that time she hit you over t'head with a frying pan?
0:08:43 > 0:08:44I've still got a mark to prove it.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Six-year-old. I were seeing stars for a fortnight.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51You shouldn't have said that about her big knickers on t'washing line.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54It were only an observation, it wasn't a criticism.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Right, Elsie then.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00No, not Elsie. And can you keep right out of it?
0:09:00 > 0:09:03You don't even have an opinion. You left her.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05I didn't leave her.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07I just needed a break.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09We're not calling her Elsie.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11My mother were called Myra.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13That's one you don't hear so much any more.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Surprise, surprise.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17You're not helping, Grandad!
0:09:17 > 0:09:18PHONE RINGS
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Excuse me. Hello?
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Hey, Popsicle. 'Tis I.
0:09:24 > 0:09:25Your favourite son.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28- Lawrence! - Where's the DVD of Reservoir Dogs?
0:09:28 > 0:09:30And don't you go around telling people I left her.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Angus is coming round and Mum said we could watch it,
0:09:32 > 0:09:34- and I can't find it. - Are you sure Caroline said...?
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- Yeah, do you want to talk to her? - No. No, no. It's...
0:09:37 > 0:09:40And you do not tell me I don't have an opinion!
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Oh, I've got it! Got it, thanks.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44- No problem. - Where are you?
0:09:44 > 0:09:46I'm... I'm... I'm in Halifax.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47Cool. Bye!
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Oh, have we agreed on something?
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Emily Jane.
0:09:55 > 0:09:56It's what me grandad calls her.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00Oh, that's good! That works. Emily Bronte. Emily Jane Bronte.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04"I'll walk where my own nature would be leading."
0:10:04 > 0:10:05Who are you again?
0:10:05 > 0:10:09"It vexes me to choose another guide."
0:10:09 > 0:10:10- He's...- I'm... I'm...
0:10:10 > 0:10:12I'm Celia's son-in-law.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Oh, aye.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19So, why did she ring you to come and baby-sit again?
0:10:19 > 0:10:23I'm writing a novel. It's set on a farm, partly, here,
0:10:23 > 0:10:27in West Yorkshire. I thought it would help if I could...
0:10:27 > 0:10:29immerse myself. In things.
0:10:29 > 0:10:30A bit.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34So I thought I'd cook for everyone.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36If that's...?
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Cool.
0:10:38 > 0:10:39Do you want to see it?
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Course I want to see it!
0:10:41 > 0:10:42Here.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49And we couldn't decide whose surname to use, so we put both.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52Only we put ours first, cos it's alphabetical.
0:10:52 > 0:10:53So what was Harry and Maurice doing there?
0:10:53 > 0:10:55They were round at their house when we called.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Emily Jane Greenwood-Wallace.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Well that's...a gobful.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04For somebody who only weighs six pounds, three ounces.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06I'm going to ring grandad and tell him.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08He'll be pleased, that was his name for her.
0:11:08 > 0:11:14Right, well, if you do, say hello to him...from me.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18And, me and Ellie's seeing each other down Ripponden.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20- Tonight, for a drink. - Is that right?
0:11:20 > 0:11:23We've decided we ought to take things steady for a bit
0:11:23 > 0:11:24and see what happens.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Take things steady.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Yeah.
0:11:29 > 0:11:35OK, and who's looking after Her Ladyship? Grandma Buggins?
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Well, I said I would.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Yeah, so...
0:12:04 > 0:12:05Oh, text from Greg.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06He says he's running on time
0:12:06 > 0:12:09and he's looking forward to meeting us in the bar at 6.30.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15When we were leaving, just before, my mum said this thing.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18She said, "We've discussed it and Alan doesn't mind
0:12:18 > 0:12:22"if you want to call him dad now we're married."
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Is that not...? That's nice.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27- Isn't it? - I don't know. I like Alan.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30I like him a lot but he's not my dad. My dad's dead.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34But he's still me dad. He'll always be me dad for all his faults.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35Did you say that?
0:12:35 > 0:12:37No. She wouldn't want to hear it.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- Hello, ladies. - Hello.
0:13:03 > 0:13:07I've... We've got a reservation.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09OK, name?
0:13:12 > 0:13:14What you thinking?
0:13:14 > 0:13:19I thought you'd had such a calm, uncomplicated life compared to me
0:13:19 > 0:13:22with Kenneth. I'm sorry you haven't.
0:13:22 > 0:13:27And I've embroiled you in it now. Is that what you're thinking?
0:13:27 > 0:13:31No. No. I'm glad you can tell me things.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Somebody with a good heart like you
0:13:34 > 0:13:38shouldn't have skeletons in their cupboard.
0:13:38 > 0:13:39It does still bother me.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43Aye, he were an alcoholic more or less, he were handy with his fists,
0:13:43 > 0:13:46but he'd grown up in care.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49So I imagine it weren't entirely his fault
0:13:49 > 0:13:51that he turned out like he did.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Happen he'd have died anyway.
0:13:53 > 0:13:54Happen.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Or had brain damage.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Happen she did him a favour.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01If it was suicide.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Is there still more to it than you've said?
0:14:06 > 0:14:09No. No. Only that.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Right, well.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15If that's what the Coroner said.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16DOORBELL RINGS
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Oh, that'll be Angus.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Angus is here!
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Let's live with what's on the table.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27Wassu...?!
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Which one are you again?
0:14:29 > 0:14:31- Lawrence. - Who is it?
0:14:31 > 0:14:33OK, Lawrence. Where's Daddy?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Can I help you?
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Yes. I'm looking for John.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38He's not here.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Well, where is he then?
0:14:40 > 0:14:41Who wants to know?
0:14:41 > 0:14:44- I do. - That's Judith.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Is it.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49- And you are...? - I'm Caroline's mother.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Ah...
0:14:51 > 0:14:53So you're her, are you? You're the whore.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Whoa...Granny. Angus!
0:14:55 > 0:15:00OK, look. I need to know where John is.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Well, bad luck.
0:15:02 > 0:15:03I don't want a fight.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Well, you've probably come to the wrong place then.
0:15:06 > 0:15:11- I just want to know...- You've got some bare-face cheek, coming here!
0:15:11 > 0:15:13- PHONE RINGS - Ooh, is that me?
0:15:13 > 0:15:16- That's you.- Have you any idea where he's likely to be?
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Not the slightest.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Let's face it, you're more likely to know than any of us.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- It's Raff.- All right, can I speak to Caroline then?
0:15:23 > 0:15:24- No. You can't. - Hello?
0:15:24 > 0:15:27It's me, Grandad! We've been up to t'registry office in Halifax!
0:15:27 > 0:15:28- Is Caroline in? - No.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30- Been where? - Do you know where John is?
0:15:30 > 0:15:31We've registered the baby.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Oh, aye? Sorry?
0:15:35 > 0:15:37- Oh, my God. - What?
0:15:37 > 0:15:39- Wow. - What?
0:15:39 > 0:15:41- And guess what we've called her? - What?
0:15:41 > 0:15:43- You're Celia. He's Alan. - And?
0:15:43 > 0:15:45You're the couple that fell in love and got married.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47- So? - No, it's just...
0:15:47 > 0:15:50You can't call a baby that.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52I think that's really, really, really amazing.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Do we look like we give a stuff about what you think?
0:15:54 > 0:15:55You are joking?
0:15:55 > 0:15:56What've they called it?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Yeah, no, I get that, but...
0:15:58 > 0:15:59Calamity Jane.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01No, Grandad. Not...
0:16:01 > 0:16:02They've never.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04He's in Halifax.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06- Sorry? - He rang. Earlier. My dad.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08- Said he's in Halifax. - Oh, Emily Jane!
0:16:08 > 0:16:10What's he doing in Halifax?
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Dunno. This way. That's Granny.
0:16:13 > 0:16:14- Hi, Granny. - That's Alan.
0:16:14 > 0:16:15He's gone to see her.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Who?
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Gillian. That's your daughter.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- Has he? - Have you got an address?
0:16:21 > 0:16:24I think I need my ears syringed! You what?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26What's Gillian's address?
0:16:26 > 0:16:27What's he gone there for?
0:16:27 > 0:16:29He's obsessed with her.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Oh, and me mum says to say "hello," Grandad.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35I think she's sorry.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Grandad?
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Hello.
0:16:44 > 0:16:45Shall I sit here?
0:16:45 > 0:16:47If you like.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Do you want a drink?
0:16:56 > 0:16:59We've got ten minutes.
0:17:03 > 0:17:04So...
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Tell me some more about him.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12I've told you everything there is to say.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Anyway, I thought you weren't that interested.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Can I have a gin and tonic? Thank you.
0:17:18 > 0:17:19I am. I am interested.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22You said you didn't need to get to know him.
0:17:22 > 0:17:23No. But we're here now, so...
0:17:28 > 0:17:30You look beautiful.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34You are unfff...believable. You know that, don't you?
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Kate. What you have to remember is that...
0:17:36 > 0:17:38I was so thrilled, I was so delighted when you told me
0:17:38 > 0:17:40- you'd booked this place. - OK, but...
0:17:40 > 0:17:43I was so flattered because it was like for the first time,
0:17:43 > 0:17:46you were happy to acknowledge outside the house
0:17:46 > 0:17:47that I was your partner.
0:17:47 > 0:17:52And then you go and book two separate rooms!
0:17:52 > 0:17:53Mentally, I've left.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Mentally, I'm not even here.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58Physically, I'm here because Greg's coming, and I'd like to see him.
0:17:58 > 0:17:59- Beyond that... - Oh, look. OK...
0:17:59 > 0:18:01I put up with it at work arriving in separate cars,
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- because I understand... - That's just a practical arrangement.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06You're the boss, you're high profile, you need to be discreet.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09But this! And you know what, Caroline,
0:18:09 > 0:18:12they all know. You've not fooled anyone, they all know.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14And it just makes us look sad, actually.
0:18:22 > 0:18:23I'm not trying to fool anyone.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27It makes us look embarrassed and old-fashioned and ridiculous.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30You should've said something when we checked in if you weren't happy.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33I was too stunned, I was too, "Did I just hear that?"
0:18:33 > 0:18:37Look. All right. This isn't easy for me.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40I was going to book a double room when I rang up, and then...
0:18:40 > 0:18:41What?
0:18:43 > 0:18:45I couldn't.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Why not? Why not?
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Do you think we're the first gay couple who've ever stayed here?
0:18:51 > 0:18:52Sh.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55Anyway, I popped in at reception earlier and I said,
0:18:55 > 0:18:57"Actually me and my girlfriend, the woman I sleep with,
0:18:57 > 0:19:00"the woman I have sex with, would like a double room, please,
0:19:00 > 0:19:02"instead of these two singles."
0:19:02 > 0:19:04- Did you? - No. I was tempted,
0:19:04 > 0:19:06but then I thought sod it.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08You see, for me, if I'd been booking this,
0:19:08 > 0:19:11the whole point would've been that I got to spend
0:19:11 > 0:19:13two whole days and nights in the same room as you.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15That would've been the single biggest thing that made me
0:19:15 > 0:19:17want to book it in the first place.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19But obviously for you that wasn't a thing, so...
0:19:19 > 0:19:21We can still sleep together.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Sneaking around like a couple of sad idiots
0:19:24 > 0:19:26in a bedroom farce from the 1970s?
0:19:26 > 0:19:27No, thanks.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Look. I'm still getting used to this.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33To what? Caroline. It's 2013. You're 46.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35You know in Iran they still stone women to death for having
0:19:35 > 0:19:40any sort of...genital...
0:19:40 > 0:19:42sexual contact.
0:19:42 > 0:19:43This is Yorkshire.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45- You take my point. - Not really.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Sometimes I still feel a bit weird about it, that's all.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50It's not personal, it's not about you, it's about me. And suddenly,
0:19:50 > 0:19:52on the phone when I was booking, I panicked.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55And I knew you'd be cross, but I didn't know what to do about it.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Caroline, you're a doctor of philosophy. You run a huge school.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01You have the welfare of 857 children in your hands on a daily basis.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02You don't panic!
0:20:02 > 0:20:04I panicked!
0:20:04 > 0:20:06I panicked.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09I was talking to a testosterone stacked 18-year-old...
0:20:11 > 0:20:13..jock who couldn't spell "Elliot!"
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Well, the L's and the T's aren't always obvious.
0:20:15 > 0:20:16And I lost my bottle!
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Why?
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Cos, because...
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Because I'm me.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37I'm not falling for that, Caroline. Not any more.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39You've blown it.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Don't say that, please. Don't say that!
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- Greg! - Kate! How are you?
0:20:46 > 0:20:49I'm good, I'm great, I'm really well. Look at you!
0:20:49 > 0:20:50You look fantastic.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54Yeah, I feel fantastic! And the good news is... Hi.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56..is I've checked in, I've booked a room,
0:20:56 > 0:20:59so I can join you for dinner, if that's...?
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Yeah! Wow. That's great! What're you drinking?
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Are you drinking?
0:21:03 > 0:21:05I am drinking!
0:21:05 > 0:21:06Cos you stopped!
0:21:08 > 0:21:10So tell us about this novel, then.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Oh, the novel. Well, it's barely started.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15It's at a very preliminary stage.
0:21:16 > 0:21:17What's the plot?
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Well, essentially,
0:21:19 > 0:21:23it's a sort of... Well, it's a family saga.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25I suppose, potentially.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27OK, and what happens?
0:21:27 > 0:21:30- Well... - Who's in it besides me?
0:21:30 > 0:21:33- Well, when I said it was you... - Are you in it?
0:21:33 > 0:21:34I didn't mean literally you, I meant more...
0:21:34 > 0:21:37- Am I in it? - ..more sort of you were
0:21:37 > 0:21:40a sort of inspiration, as it were.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42If that doesn't sound too...
0:21:42 > 0:21:43- Wanky. - Yeah.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45- Does a bit. - Good word.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Am I your muse?
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Well, at the risk of sounding wanky again...
0:21:51 > 0:21:56Wow. I've never been anybody's muse before. Not that I'm aware of.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58There's a surprise.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02Sod off! Oops! Sorry, Calamity.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05That's going to stick now thanks to deaf Grandad.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07I like it. I wish they'd called me that.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10It sounds like someone who can kick ass.
0:22:10 > 0:22:11KNOCKING ON DOOR
0:22:11 > 0:22:13"Whah, Calam!
0:22:13 > 0:22:15"That sounds like the door."
0:22:28 > 0:22:29Sorry.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Oh, hello.
0:22:32 > 0:22:33I overreacted.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Calamity Jane. They've been to the Registry Office.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40You are kidding.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Half kidding. Emily Jane.
0:22:47 > 0:22:48I am sorry.
0:22:49 > 0:22:55But I'm sticking with Calamity. Because..it's got a certain...
0:22:55 > 0:22:56je ne sais quoi.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02It was a long time ago, and it must've been horrible,
0:23:02 > 0:23:04and you had it to deal with, and I'm sorry.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Has Uncle Robbie had his tea?
0:23:15 > 0:23:16Robbie's here.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20- Hello. - Hello.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Sit down. I'll get you a plate.
0:23:23 > 0:23:24Right, I'm off.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33John's here. He's staying over.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36He's doing some research.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39He's writing a novel.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40Right.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44I've had another bust-up wi' me dad cos o' yesterday.
0:23:44 > 0:23:45How?
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Because I had a go at Celia, didn't I?
0:23:48 > 0:23:49For opening her trap to you.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Sorry.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59How's Caroline?
0:23:59 > 0:24:01She's... She's... I don't know.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05She still...?
0:24:05 > 0:24:07I don't have a huge amount to do with her.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16So what's it about then, this novel?
0:24:19 > 0:24:25Josh Hepworth. Do you remember him? You do. He fancied you. Brown hair.
0:24:25 > 0:24:30Five foot ten. Scarf, acne. Brogues, he always wore brogues.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33He lived in the same house as PJ in second year.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36We went to a party there once. Fancy dress.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37Who did we go as?
0:24:37 > 0:24:41Shit, I don't remember. Lizzie drank too much.
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Surely not.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45And she puked this spectacular tidal wave of multicoloured vomit
0:24:45 > 0:24:47- into a doorway at Woolworths! - This is ringing a bell.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51Anyway, I'm in Oslo and I bump into Josh Hepworth!
0:24:51 > 0:24:55How mad is that? Yeah, he works there. In Oslo!
0:24:55 > 0:24:58He's working for Ericsson. I was just on holiday...
0:25:14 > 0:25:16Let it go.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18I would, only it sickens me.
0:25:18 > 0:25:19Don't let it.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Maybe Judith wasn't the first.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27If he can insinuate himself so readily into women's beds,
0:25:27 > 0:25:30what does that mean?
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Has he been mucking about behind Caroline's back for years?
0:25:35 > 0:25:36I know she's wondered.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Aye, well, she's shot of him now, isn't she?
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Anyway, look on the bright side.
0:25:42 > 0:25:47He'll have met his match with our Gillian. One way or another.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54Utter, utter rubbish. I can't watch television.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Not with anything police-related.
0:25:57 > 0:26:01I'm just chucking a beer can at t'telly. I'm going, "What trash!"
0:26:01 > 0:26:03"Do your research, would it kill you?"
0:26:03 > 0:26:05I'm going, "Come and talk to me!
0:26:05 > 0:26:07"I'll tell you how we investigate a murder."
0:26:07 > 0:26:12Not Inspector Doo-dah in his wacky car with Sergeant Pillock side-kick.
0:26:12 > 0:26:18There's a team, a whole team of dedicated, professional,
0:26:18 > 0:26:19highly-trained officers.
0:26:19 > 0:26:23Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26I could tell you some stories.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28I could tell you what to put in your book.
0:26:28 > 0:26:29What's it about again?
0:26:29 > 0:26:30KNOCKING ON DOOR
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Who the 'ell's that?
0:26:37 > 0:26:39- Where's the fire? - Sorry?
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Is someone's arse on fire? Banging like that.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45Do you need a bucket o' water? Eh? A bucket o' sand?
0:26:45 > 0:26:47Are you Gillian?
0:26:47 > 0:26:49- I might be. - I'm looking for John. Is he here?
0:26:49 > 0:26:51- And you are? - Judith.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Is that summat to do wi' you?
0:26:53 > 0:26:57Are you? Well, well, well.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Well, well, well. What do you want?
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Him. I know he's here.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12You bastard!
0:27:12 > 0:27:13Sorry? Hang on, what?
0:27:13 > 0:27:15What's this? This was my idea.
0:27:15 > 0:27:16What was?
0:27:16 > 0:27:18To write a novel about two old people in love!
0:27:18 > 0:27:21It was not! We discussed it, certainly, but it was me who...
0:27:21 > 0:27:23And I said, "That'd make a great story!"
0:27:23 > 0:27:25It must've been obvious to you what my intention was.
0:27:25 > 0:27:26Well, I could say that!
0:27:26 > 0:27:29I could say it must've been obvious to you what my intention was
0:27:29 > 0:27:32when I said, "That'd make a great story"
0:27:32 > 0:27:33No.
0:27:33 > 0:27:37You were talking about it as a thing that had happened, was happening,
0:27:37 > 0:27:39and I was the one saying, "That'd make a great novel".
0:27:39 > 0:27:43- That's really not... - You're a plagiarist.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46- No.- You've even copied ideas I talked about!
0:27:46 > 0:27:49Writing it from Bathsheba Everdene's point of view.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52That was, that was, that was entirely my idea.
0:27:52 > 0:27:56No. I put the idea in your head.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58This is a fantasy, you've misremembered.
0:27:58 > 0:27:59- No. - You'd probably had a drink.
0:27:59 > 0:28:00You'd definitely had a drink!
0:28:00 > 0:28:02Judith. It's my story. This is my family!
0:28:02 > 0:28:04You don't even know these people!
0:28:04 > 0:28:06So bloody what? Shakespeare didn't know Richard III!
0:28:06 > 0:28:09It didn't stop him writing a shitty play about him!
0:28:09 > 0:28:11I would not steal someone else's idea.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14Let me explain to you the difference between observing something
0:28:14 > 0:28:17and making the decision to write about it.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19I understand what you're saying...
0:28:19 > 0:28:21Why don't you both calm down?
0:28:21 > 0:28:24- There's a baby trying to sleep here. - This is Robbie.
0:28:24 > 0:28:28Is it? God.
0:28:28 > 0:28:32Wow! What a fascinating menage.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36What's that supposed to mean?
0:28:36 > 0:28:40They've slept together. These two. Well, I'm saying that.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43I've only got his word for it, so obviously it may be just another
0:28:43 > 0:28:47of his little wish-fulfilment fantasies.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49Who knows? Sorry.
0:28:49 > 0:28:51That's, that's just not true.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54Really? So you made that up too?
0:28:54 > 0:28:55How dare you.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57No. No. I didn't make anything up.
0:28:57 > 0:29:00- You told her that I'd slept with you?- No! I didn't. She's lying!
0:29:00 > 0:29:02I'm not lying, that's what he told me.
0:29:02 > 0:29:04You may have got the wrong end of the stick...then.
0:29:04 > 0:29:08So you made that up just like you're saying this tripe was your idea
0:29:08 > 0:29:10when it wasn't!
0:29:13 > 0:29:16- Have you slept together? - No.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18What did he tell you?
0:29:18 > 0:29:20Nothing! I didn't tell her anything.
0:29:20 > 0:29:23Describe to me the language he used.
0:29:23 > 0:29:24Language?
0:29:24 > 0:29:28Well...he was here, obviously.
0:29:28 > 0:29:31Drunk. Upset. Angry,
0:29:31 > 0:29:34cos he'd just found out that Caroline'd been shopping
0:29:34 > 0:29:37round the corner, and...
0:29:37 > 0:29:41Celia was here. She was upset too. cos he was mouthing off.
0:29:41 > 0:29:46And Alan. And you were here. And it was Caroline's birthday!
0:29:46 > 0:29:50I'd cut an artery open with a broken bottle.
0:29:52 > 0:29:56It was your birthday too. They have the same birthday.
0:29:56 > 0:30:00Well, it was that night he claimed it happened.
0:30:00 > 0:30:04Although he said he was so pissed the next day
0:30:04 > 0:30:06he barely remember what happened.
0:30:06 > 0:30:10And like I say, he's probably making it up.
0:30:12 > 0:30:13She's making it up.
0:30:13 > 0:30:15How can she be making it up? She wasn't here.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18Yes, but we didn't, we didn't...
0:30:23 > 0:30:25All right! We did.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27We did, and so what?
0:30:27 > 0:30:31You're clearly no good for her, so why don't you just clear off?
0:30:31 > 0:30:32Huh?
0:30:32 > 0:30:36You've made her life a living hell in the past,
0:30:36 > 0:30:39trying to get her arrested when she was at her most vulnerable.
0:30:39 > 0:30:41Yes! I know all about it!
0:30:41 > 0:30:45And now you prey on her because you know how generous and good
0:30:45 > 0:30:47- and kind-hearted she is - Prey on her?
0:30:47 > 0:30:52Yeah, well, get lost! She doesn't need you, she doesn't want you.
0:30:52 > 0:30:53She rang me to come over and help
0:30:53 > 0:30:56because she was at the end of her tether with everything.
0:30:56 > 0:30:59With all of you, and especially with you.
0:30:59 > 0:31:00Is this true?
0:31:05 > 0:31:07Some of it.
0:31:07 > 0:31:09Partially.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11After yesterday.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13The sleeping with bit?
0:31:27 > 0:31:31Shit. Shit! Oh, shit.
0:31:36 > 0:31:40MUSIC: "Stuck In The Middle With You" by Stealer's Wheel
0:31:44 > 0:31:47What the hell's going on?
0:31:47 > 0:31:50Granny, get your gun! He's doused me in petrol
0:31:50 > 0:31:54and he's cut my ear clean off and now he's going to set alight to me!
0:31:54 > 0:31:59- What's all this sticky, mucky mess? - Ahh! You shot me, Granny.
0:31:59 > 0:32:02Don't you Granny me, you monkey! Just look at this mess!
0:32:03 > 0:32:05Are you drunk?
0:32:05 > 0:32:06Why's there two of you, Granny?
0:32:06 > 0:32:11What've you been drinking? How much've you had?
0:32:11 > 0:32:13It is not funny!
0:32:13 > 0:32:17Celia? It's William. He's in outpatients.
0:32:17 > 0:32:20Outpatients?
0:32:20 > 0:32:24Hilarious! He spent four days in intensive care!
0:32:24 > 0:32:26That is so not hilarious!
0:32:26 > 0:32:32Listen, gosh, we should talk about the baby, the baby plan.
0:32:32 > 0:32:37I just need to find the bathroom, and then you can tell me
0:32:37 > 0:32:39more about what you have in mind.
0:32:39 > 0:32:40Shan't be a tick.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50Well, I don't think I've ever met anyone who's quite so fond
0:32:50 > 0:32:52of the sound of their own voice.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57Right, well, I'm going to bed.
0:32:57 > 0:33:02Because I can't stand any more of this bloke's self-obsessed drivel.
0:33:02 > 0:33:03OK.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08I'm sure neither of you'll mind whether I'm here or not.
0:33:09 > 0:33:14Thought not. Good night then.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16Good night.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32I'm sorry we've been so long.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35We had to wait at the police station to report it.
0:33:35 > 0:33:38- What happened? - Just these two idiots.
0:33:38 > 0:33:40Yeah. You sit down there.
0:33:42 > 0:33:45I'll make us all a nice cup of tea.
0:33:48 > 0:33:50Where's Starsky and Hutch?
0:33:50 > 0:33:52In bed. Fast asleep.
0:33:52 > 0:33:55I started trying to tidy t'kitchen,
0:33:55 > 0:33:57but I really didn't know where things went.
0:34:00 > 0:34:01How are you feeling, lad?
0:34:07 > 0:34:09I left work. I walked out.
0:34:11 > 0:34:13Because I couldn't stand it any more.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18I get talked to like crap by the chef and one of the waiters,
0:34:18 > 0:34:22they're both jerks, they both think they're special, and the truth is
0:34:22 > 0:34:26they haven't got one brain cell to rub together between 'em.
0:34:26 > 0:34:30So I walked out. I didn't want to come home.
0:34:33 > 0:34:36So I went into town.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38I was going to go to this club
0:34:38 > 0:34:40where some of 'em from school go.
0:34:40 > 0:34:43There's this girl I like.
0:34:45 > 0:34:47Grace, she goes there.
0:34:47 > 0:34:51So I was getting some money out of the cash point...
0:34:54 > 0:34:58..and there's two of them and this lad goes,
0:34:58 > 0:34:59"Lend us 50p."
0:34:59 > 0:35:01And I was stupid,
0:35:01 > 0:35:04I took my wallet out
0:35:04 > 0:35:07and they smacked me in the head, they got me on the floor,
0:35:07 > 0:35:09and they kicked me...
0:35:09 > 0:35:14where they shouldn't, then they went through my pockets.
0:35:16 > 0:35:17I...
0:35:20 > 0:35:26I couldn't move I was in so much pain and I couldn't stop them...
0:35:26 > 0:35:32And they were laughing, and calling me stupid.
0:35:32 > 0:35:34Calling me names.
0:35:34 > 0:35:36Could you remember what they looked like
0:35:36 > 0:35:39when you spoke to the police?
0:35:39 > 0:35:41Yeah.
0:35:41 > 0:35:42Good.
0:35:44 > 0:35:47Me mum'll go mad, she'll go,
0:35:47 > 0:35:51"Trust you not to be able to hold down a job".
0:35:51 > 0:35:53Well, I don't know your mum as well as you do,
0:35:53 > 0:35:56but I can't imagine she will.
0:35:59 > 0:36:03I couldn't stand it. They made me feel like a freak.
0:36:03 > 0:36:07Like I was the odd one out. I always feel like the odd one out.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09You won't.
0:36:10 > 0:36:13First time I met you, I remember thinking,
0:36:13 > 0:36:16"What a smashing young fella".
0:36:16 > 0:36:18Up at farm.
0:36:18 > 0:36:20Me and Celia's little engagement party.
0:36:20 > 0:36:23You shook my hand, and I thought, "What a fine young man".
0:36:25 > 0:36:28I'll tell you something I've learned over the years,
0:36:28 > 0:36:33and it's taken me a long time, but I've just about got it sussed now.
0:36:35 > 0:36:38Life's all about confidence.
0:36:38 > 0:36:42And the only way you gain confidence is by putting yourself
0:36:42 > 0:36:45into situations where you do feel a little bit out of your depth.
0:36:45 > 0:36:48Like you did, with this job.
0:36:48 > 0:36:51Where you do feel uncomfortable, where you do have to deal
0:36:51 > 0:36:55with people who you might not naturally be drawn to.
0:36:56 > 0:37:01And I really admire you for doing that. For trying.
0:37:01 > 0:37:05And the thing to do next, is to dust yourself down
0:37:05 > 0:37:08and get right back in there and try something else.
0:37:08 > 0:37:10cos you can only get stronger.
0:37:10 > 0:37:14And you might feel like the odd one out now, but you won't.
0:37:15 > 0:37:17You're going places. They aren't.
0:37:21 > 0:37:24I only wish our Raff were going places with you.
0:37:37 > 0:37:38I got your text.
0:37:39 > 0:37:43Are you joining me? Or are you waiting for Greg?
0:37:53 > 0:37:55What time's he leaving?
0:37:55 > 0:37:57I don't know.
0:37:57 > 0:38:00I came back downstairs last night to try and find you,
0:38:00 > 0:38:02but you weren't here.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04You weren't in here, you weren't in the bar
0:38:04 > 0:38:05and you weren't in your bedroom.
0:38:05 > 0:38:08I knocked. Twice.
0:38:08 > 0:38:10I went back half an hour later.
0:38:10 > 0:38:14He invited me up to his room. For a nightcap.
0:38:14 > 0:38:17Oh, you've made a start?
0:38:17 > 0:38:19No. We just talked.
0:38:27 > 0:38:31All right. Look. I'm sorry, I am sorry. I was a coward.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33I won't be again. But I do have to say, for me,
0:38:33 > 0:38:36if we are going to be parents, this bloke is the wrong person.
0:38:38 > 0:38:40He's perfect from my point of view.
0:38:40 > 0:38:42I couldn't go through with it, not with him. He's...
0:38:44 > 0:38:46He's a jerk.
0:38:46 > 0:38:48He's one of my oldest friends.
0:38:48 > 0:38:51Whatever impression you got last night, he is not a jerk.
0:39:04 > 0:39:06I think I'm going to have to give up on the idea
0:39:06 > 0:39:08of buying John out of the house.
0:39:08 > 0:39:11I think it's unrealistic.
0:39:13 > 0:39:15It'd just be a burden.
0:39:15 > 0:39:17Right.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19Would you like any tea or coffee?
0:39:19 > 0:39:22Neither, yet, thanks. I'm waiting for someone else.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27I want to get pregnant, I want to have a child,
0:39:27 > 0:39:28I want to get on with it.
0:39:28 > 0:39:30Yeah, all right, fine. But...
0:39:30 > 0:39:35I don't need your blessing. Not any more. Not after yesterday.
0:39:36 > 0:39:38And what you just said, about the house.
0:39:38 > 0:39:40You were doing it for all the wrong reasons anyway.
0:39:40 > 0:39:43- You don't want what's best for me, you never did.- That's not true.
0:39:43 > 0:39:44You want what's best for you all the time.
0:39:44 > 0:39:47I worry about how upset you'd be if it doesn't happen...
0:39:47 > 0:39:49And I don't think you'll change, Caroline, you're...
0:39:49 > 0:39:51..or if you got pregnant and then lost it again.
0:39:51 > 0:39:55You're too old to change. I think it'll always be about you.
0:39:55 > 0:39:56That's not true.
0:39:56 > 0:39:59Don't worry about my bill. I'll pay for myself.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04Are you dumping me?
0:40:04 > 0:40:08No. I don't think so.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14I don't think anything ever really started. Did it?
0:40:16 > 0:40:18A couple of embarrassed fumbles.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24It's just been a bit of an odd mess really, hasn't it?
0:40:25 > 0:40:30Which is a shame. Because I would've done absolutely anything for you.
0:40:36 > 0:40:39We didn't do anything last night but that is still the plan.
0:40:39 > 0:40:42We're both going to stay here tonight.
0:40:42 > 0:40:43No, look. This was meant to be...
0:40:43 > 0:40:45Oh, I know what it was meant to be, Caroline.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47It was meant to be you and me. It was meant to be my birthday.
0:40:49 > 0:40:51I was so happy when we got here.
0:40:51 > 0:40:53Yesterday.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55But you blew it.
0:40:55 > 0:40:59You blew it before Greg even turned up, so don't blame him.
0:40:59 > 0:41:01This is hard for me.
0:41:01 > 0:41:07Yeah, well grow up. You think it's easy for anyone?
0:41:07 > 0:41:10Only don't bother, don't grow up. Not on my account.
0:42:02 > 0:42:03I made some coffee.
0:42:03 > 0:42:08Well done. Where's your girlfriend? Her car's still outside.
0:42:08 > 0:42:11- She's not my girlfriend. - Yeah, where is she?
0:42:11 > 0:42:15- I've got no idea.- There's somebody crashed out in my bed.
0:42:15 > 0:42:17She polished off them other two bottles of wine you bought
0:42:17 > 0:42:20in less time than it takes me to bend over and tie one shoe lace,
0:42:20 > 0:42:22and my emergency supply of medicinal brandy
0:42:22 > 0:42:25seems to have disappeared as if by magic as well.
0:42:25 > 0:42:27She really is the real McCoy. I'm afraid.
0:42:27 > 0:42:30She doesn't just languish in the amateur division
0:42:30 > 0:42:34- like you and me, you mean?- I haven't a bloody clue whose that car is.
0:42:34 > 0:42:38- She's probably nicked it.- You all right, darling? How was your night?
0:42:38 > 0:42:40Nice.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44- They're taking it steady. - I heard.
0:42:46 > 0:42:49Shit, what've you done to your face?
0:42:49 > 0:42:52Your Uncle Robbie's fallen out wi' me again.
0:42:52 > 0:42:53Why?
0:42:53 > 0:42:59He... Well, he's got wrong end o' t'stick. Yet again, so...
0:42:59 > 0:43:00What about this time?
0:43:03 > 0:43:06It's all too ridiculous.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09Did he do that?
0:43:09 > 0:43:11PHONE RINGS
0:43:12 > 0:43:14What fresh hell is this?
0:43:14 > 0:43:16Hello.
0:43:17 > 0:43:21Harry! No, he's in Harrogate.
0:43:29 > 0:43:31Oh, no...
0:43:32 > 0:43:37You sure you don't want any bacon and eggs, boys?
0:43:37 > 0:43:39Sausages, black pudding, fried bread.
0:43:39 > 0:43:40Cooked in lard!
0:43:40 > 0:43:42Aye, with custard on top!
0:43:42 > 0:43:43Shut up.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46You shouldn't have cleaned the kitchen, Gran.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48You should've left it and made them do it.
0:43:48 > 0:43:50Well, I was tempted.
0:43:50 > 0:43:52- Idiots. - Shut up, Beano Boy.
0:43:52 > 0:43:55PHONE RINGS That's you.
0:43:58 > 0:44:00Hello?
0:44:00 > 0:44:04Dad? It's me. Gillian. Listen. I'm sorry.
0:44:04 > 0:44:09I'm sorry I spoke to Celia like I did. Can I...?
0:44:09 > 0:44:11Can I talk to her?
0:44:11 > 0:44:14It's our Gillian. She wants to say sorry.
0:44:17 > 0:44:18Hello?
0:44:18 > 0:44:21Celia. Listen. I'm sorry.
0:44:21 > 0:44:25You didn't know I knew Robbie then, and I overreacted.
0:44:25 > 0:44:26And I'm sorry.
0:44:26 > 0:44:31Well, that's all right, love, I...
0:44:31 > 0:44:33- Is me dad all right? - Yeah, he's fine, love.
0:44:33 > 0:44:36OK. Look. Something's happened.
0:44:36 > 0:44:39I need you to tell him something.
0:44:39 > 0:44:41And he might be upset.
0:44:42 > 0:44:46I'd tell him myself, but it might be best coming from you.
0:44:46 > 0:44:49Cos you're with him.
0:44:49 > 0:44:52And he loves you.
0:44:52 > 0:44:54What time are you supposed to be there?
0:44:54 > 0:44:57- 9:30. - That's going to look good, isn't it?
0:44:57 > 0:45:00The head teacher's son and his stupid friend,
0:45:00 > 0:45:01the two plonkers that don't turn up.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04Right, upstairs, pair of you, come on, get changed, I'll drive you in.
0:45:04 > 0:45:06Yes, love. I will.
0:45:06 > 0:45:08Ta-ta.
0:45:09 > 0:45:12They're supposed to be at a rugby match.
0:45:14 > 0:45:16Has summat happened?
0:45:22 > 0:45:24Sit down.
0:45:33 > 0:45:35Maurice is dead.
0:45:39 > 0:45:44A neighbour found him at the bottom of his stairs just this morning.
0:45:44 > 0:45:46They think a stroke.
0:45:49 > 0:45:51Are you all right?
0:45:53 > 0:45:56He'd have known nothing about it if it was a stroke.
0:46:03 > 0:46:05Shall I make some fresh tea?
0:46:07 > 0:46:09In a minute.
0:46:11 > 0:46:13A bit of sugar in it.
0:46:13 > 0:46:15Aye.
0:46:19 > 0:46:20I am sorry.
0:46:25 > 0:46:29Aye. Aye.
0:46:42 > 0:46:45He were a nice man.
0:46:45 > 0:46:50Kind. Do anything for anybody.
0:46:50 > 0:46:52Yeah.
0:46:54 > 0:47:00I've known him all my life. He's always been there. Uncle Maurice.
0:47:02 > 0:47:05Me dad's known him since they were tiny.
0:47:05 > 0:47:07They were in infants together at t'Board Knackers.
0:47:07 > 0:47:10Sorry?
0:47:10 > 0:47:13There was the National School and The Board School.
0:47:13 > 0:47:16- Not boarding school, just... - No.
0:47:16 > 0:47:18The Board School.
0:47:18 > 0:47:22So you were either a Nashbog, or a Board Knacker.
0:47:22 > 0:47:28Me dad and Maurice were Board Knackers. Celia was a Nashbog.
0:47:30 > 0:47:32But Maurice and me dad...
0:47:32 > 0:47:33Aww.
0:47:35 > 0:47:39In their little shorts. During t'war.
0:47:39 > 0:47:41Aww.
0:47:45 > 0:47:47Bless him, Maurice.
0:47:51 > 0:47:55I better ring back, see if me dad's all right.
0:47:55 > 0:47:56Yeah.
0:47:57 > 0:47:58Damn.
0:47:58 > 0:48:00What?
0:48:02 > 0:48:07Death. Dying. It's a bitch.
0:48:14 > 0:48:16Fancy, him going before me.
0:48:20 > 0:48:23He were right as rain last time I saw him.
0:48:27 > 0:48:29Who'd have thought?
0:48:33 > 0:48:35Who would've thought?
0:49:13 > 0:49:16Ironic thing is, we've had a bit of good news since.
0:49:17 > 0:49:19You know that bungalow we went to see?
0:49:19 > 0:49:21When I said we were just looking?
0:49:23 > 0:49:25Well, we put in an offer.
0:49:26 > 0:49:29And the estate agent rang just before lunch to say
0:49:29 > 0:49:32the people selling it've said yes.
0:49:33 > 0:49:37Right. Gosh.
0:49:37 > 0:49:41Well, that's...
0:49:41 > 0:49:46I know you wanted us to put money in here, but realistically...
0:49:46 > 0:49:47No, it's fine, I don't.
0:49:47 > 0:49:51It's... I should never have asked, it was...
0:49:52 > 0:49:56I just didn't want to face up to it, Mum,
0:49:56 > 0:50:02but I have to. I'm going to have to let it go.
0:50:02 > 0:50:04What about Kate putting money in?
0:50:04 > 0:50:08- Is that not...? - No, that's...
0:50:08 > 0:50:10- I've blown it. - How?
0:50:10 > 0:50:14I'm just no...good at things.
0:50:15 > 0:50:17Sometimes.
0:50:27 > 0:50:30Maurice were a kind, good man,
0:50:30 > 0:50:34in his private life, and in his public life as a local councillor.
0:50:37 > 0:50:42For over 30 years he served the people of Ripponden.
0:50:42 > 0:50:47And he always did it with enthusiasm,
0:50:47 > 0:50:52integrity and a good heart.
0:50:54 > 0:50:56He always had time for people.
0:50:56 > 0:51:00Anyone and everyone, young and old.
0:51:02 > 0:51:07My only regret with Maurice, on a personal note,
0:51:07 > 0:51:11is I didn't ask him to be my best man
0:51:11 > 0:51:14when Celia and I got married.
0:51:16 > 0:51:21I couldn't choose between him and Harry,
0:51:21 > 0:51:24and I still don't know that I could choose between 'em even now.
0:51:27 > 0:51:30Even if I still had t'choice.
0:51:32 > 0:51:34But the point is...
0:51:36 > 0:51:40I don't have t'choice. And for that, I'm sorry.
0:51:44 > 0:51:47So very deeply sorry.
0:51:51 > 0:51:57Bless you, Maurice, you were one of life's treasures.
0:52:30 > 0:52:33It's been a week. Did... did... Did you...?
0:52:33 > 0:52:36Yes. We did.
0:52:36 > 0:52:38Wow.
0:52:39 > 0:52:41Well.
0:52:41 > 0:52:43Mm. So...
0:52:43 > 0:52:48I've finished what I came into this room to do, and so now...
0:52:48 > 0:52:50I'm leaving it.
0:52:51 > 0:52:53Right.
0:53:02 > 0:53:05What were John doing at our house?
0:53:06 > 0:53:11He still fancies me. Nothing happened.
0:53:11 > 0:53:13I heard what he had to say, weighed things up,
0:53:13 > 0:53:16and then I sent him packing.
0:53:16 > 0:53:18Did Judith turn up?
0:53:18 > 0:53:20She did! Yes.
0:53:20 > 0:53:22What was all that about?
0:53:22 > 0:53:25They're both reckoning to write a novel. About you two.
0:53:25 > 0:53:28- I know. - She reckoned it was her idea,
0:53:28 > 0:53:29he reckoned it was his.
0:53:29 > 0:53:32I was always under the impression it was our idea.
0:53:32 > 0:53:34Dozy buggers.
0:53:38 > 0:53:40Y'all right, 'Arry lad?
0:53:40 > 0:53:46Eh? Oh, aye, yeah. Just...you know.
0:53:52 > 0:53:56I'm wondering if we should get married again.
0:53:56 > 0:54:00Properly. Proper big do, no expense spared. Invite everybody.
0:54:00 > 0:54:03Everybody we've ever heard of.
0:54:04 > 0:54:07Would you like to be my best man? Harry? If we did?
0:54:07 > 0:54:09I don't know. It might feel a bit...
0:54:11 > 0:54:12Not right now.
0:54:12 > 0:54:15Shuddup, y'nitwit! Say yes!
0:54:15 > 0:54:18Oh, assuming I'm invited.
0:54:18 > 0:54:22I assume I come under the umbrella of "everybody you've ever heard of".
0:54:22 > 0:54:25I'll do it, Grandad. I'll be yer best man.
0:54:25 > 0:54:28Ey, bugger off, you! If anybody's doing it, it'll be me.
0:54:28 > 0:54:32In honour of Maurice.
0:54:32 > 0:54:34Maurice.
0:54:36 > 0:54:40Well, what do you reckon? Will you marry me?
0:54:40 > 0:54:42Again?
0:54:42 > 0:54:45Oh, go on, then!
0:54:47 > 0:54:48Yay!
0:54:48 > 0:54:49Yes!
0:54:49 > 0:54:51Get a room!
0:54:55 > 0:54:56Can I go and live with my dad?
0:54:56 > 0:54:58I really don't think that's a good idea.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00Robbie's got this new girlfriend.
0:55:00 > 0:55:02Hello. I'm Cheryl. How'd you do?
0:55:02 > 0:55:04She's moving in with him apparently.
0:55:04 > 0:55:05How are the wedding plans going?
0:55:05 > 0:55:08He's gone and invited Ted, his brother.
0:55:08 > 0:55:10- It's her sister. - Has Celia got a sister?
0:55:10 > 0:55:11- Alan Buttershaw! - Be honest.
0:55:11 > 0:55:13You haven't actually sold your house?
0:55:13 > 0:55:14That's t'plan.
0:55:14 > 0:55:16I've offered to organise the wedding for them
0:55:16 > 0:55:18and I said you'd help me.
0:55:18 > 0:55:20Mum. Dad went out. Can you come and get me?
0:55:20 > 0:55:24I am so deep in the doghouse it won't ever be worth trying to get out.
0:55:24 > 0:55:26Lawrence?! Where is Lawrence?
0:55:26 > 0:55:27I never told anyone this.
0:55:27 > 0:55:29Don't tell me something you're going to regret.
0:55:29 > 0:55:31- I want to tell you. - OK...
0:55:44 > 0:55:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd