Episode 3

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0:00:07 > 0:00:09I don't want to relocate in the US.

0:00:11 > 0:00:13It ain't safe around here no more.

0:00:13 > 0:00:17You give us Aldo Delucci and we'll send you to the goddamn North pole.

0:00:22 > 0:00:24Will you need a warrant for that?

0:00:37 > 0:00:41# Baby, now can't you see?

0:00:41 > 0:00:44# It's how it has to be. #

0:00:52 > 0:01:01This programme contains strong language.

0:01:39 > 0:01:40It's time to close out your tab.

0:01:44 > 0:01:47Yeah, yeah. The problem is my colleague here

0:01:47 > 0:01:50let you charge 100 grand on champagne, and your card bounced.

0:01:50 > 0:01:51Yeah, it bounced.

0:01:53 > 0:01:58Well, I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding

0:01:58 > 0:02:00with the card company.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02We checked. No misunderstanding.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10It's pennies, OK?

0:02:12 > 0:02:13I like pennies.

0:02:17 > 0:02:22I'm not going to let two hillbillies like you treat me like this, OK?

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Refreshing, isn't it?

0:02:38 > 0:02:40It's only pennies! Hey!

0:02:45 > 0:02:47How long, boss? What is customary?

0:02:47 > 0:02:49That should do it.

0:02:52 > 0:02:56- Any new thoughts on my pennies? - OK, I'll pay. I'll pay.

0:02:56 > 0:03:00You see? Nothing clears the mind like an early morning swim.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23- Jesus.- It's, uh...

0:03:23 > 0:03:26the shit. HE CHUCKLES

0:03:26 > 0:03:28Keep looking.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32- Yeah.- Yeah.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49"Sjusjoen's Belleview."

0:03:49 > 0:03:52What's the story with this Sjusjoen's Belleview here?

0:03:56 > 0:03:59It's, you know, luxury apartments.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02Nice.

0:04:05 > 0:04:10I tell you what, give me one of these condos and we'll call it even.

0:04:14 > 0:04:21Says right here, "5% down", which just about covers your bill.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23We'll take care of the rest later.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28- You know, a bank guarantee? - You don't trust me?

0:04:32 > 0:04:35Good, then we have a deal.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38Or are you ready for another fucking swim?

0:04:38 > 0:04:42- I'll see what I can do. - Yeah, you do that.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47- Look at this.- Yeah, it's radical.

0:04:49 > 0:04:53It's a great condo. You can live there, and I can live there.

0:05:40 > 0:05:44Global terrorism categorises terrorist targets.

0:05:46 > 0:05:51"Large gatherings...emotional impact, media coverage."

0:06:49 > 0:06:51SOFT, RELAXING MUSIC PLAYS

0:07:05 > 0:07:06APPLAUSE

0:07:56 > 0:07:59OPERA MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO

0:08:11 > 0:08:12MUSIC STOPS

0:08:12 > 0:08:15Hope I'm not interrupting anything.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18Sorry.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36The tree-hugger - some piece of work, huh?

0:08:41 > 0:08:44..fucking messed-up people.

0:08:44 > 0:08:48Well, don't lose heart yet.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52I've got a little proposition for you.

0:08:54 > 0:08:55Javel.

0:08:56 > 0:09:00Suppose I can talk some sense into that half-a-Michael-Moore,

0:09:00 > 0:09:04would you be willing to sweeten the deal on my condo?

0:09:19 > 0:09:21You got it, kid.

0:09:23 > 0:09:28SOUL MUSIC PLAYS ON CAR STEREO

0:09:35 > 0:09:36POLICE SIREN BLARES

0:09:43 > 0:09:45What the fuck?

0:10:05 > 0:10:06Assalaamu Alaikum.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09- Come again? - It means hello in Arabic.

0:10:14 > 0:10:16I've been driving for exactly one block.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19I could not have been speeding.

0:10:19 > 0:10:20It's a routine control.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23Driver's licence and registration, please.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25There you go.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35What are you talking about?

0:10:37 > 0:10:43You can only drive snow scooters and mopeds and stuff with this one.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47What the fuck?

0:10:47 > 0:10:49You got to give me a break here. Come on!

0:10:49 > 0:10:51What about that Elvis night we were talking about?

0:10:51 > 0:10:54Hey, listen, comrade,

0:10:54 > 0:11:00when I'm politimann, I'm politimann.

0:11:00 > 0:11:02When I'm Elvis, I'm Elvis.

0:11:10 > 0:11:12Start walking.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11APPLAUSE

0:12:11 > 0:12:13HE BEGINS TO SING

0:12:16 > 0:12:19HE PLAYS A FEW NOTES

0:12:27 > 0:12:30PHONE BEEPS

0:12:31 > 0:12:34'Hi, Tagliano. This is Agent Becker returning your phone calls.'

0:12:34 > 0:12:37- It's about fucking time. - 'I looked into it.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40'The local police are right. Your American licence isn't valid.'

0:12:40 > 0:12:42How is that even possible?!

0:12:42 > 0:12:46'It seems like you've become the victim of a practical joke.'

0:12:46 > 0:12:49- I'm not laughing.- 'Just get yourself a Norwegian licence.

0:12:49 > 0:12:51'How hard can it be?'

0:12:51 > 0:12:55This isn't fair. I gave you Aldo fucking Delucci.

0:12:55 > 0:12:56'Not quite.

0:12:56 > 0:13:00'They've come up with alibis for the stuff you pinned on him.

0:13:00 > 0:13:02'He's going to walk.'

0:13:02 > 0:13:06Fucking FBI. No wonder the fucking terrorists are winning!

0:13:18 > 0:13:20DOG BARKS

0:13:50 > 0:13:54PHONE RINGS

0:14:21 > 0:14:24Hello, I need a driver's licence.

0:14:25 > 0:14:30I'm in a little hurry. Can we get this done today?

0:14:30 > 0:14:32Today?! You can't, uh...

0:14:50 > 0:14:53All I want to do is drive a car, not the Space Shuttle.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19No shit.

0:15:34 > 0:15:35Wait a minute.

0:15:35 > 0:15:37It's a stick?!

0:15:38 > 0:15:40Yes.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43Nobody's seen a stick since the frickin' '60s.

0:15:43 > 0:15:48- If you want a Norwegian driving licence, you must gear manual.- OK.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01ENGINE STALLS

0:16:07 > 0:16:09Huh? See, I got it.

0:16:31 > 0:16:35- What?- You was driving on a stop sign.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38So what? There's nobody around.

0:16:38 > 0:16:42But when it is a stop sign, it means full stop.

0:16:44 > 0:16:48OK, drive to right now.

0:16:58 > 0:17:01I've got some stuff I got to do up in Sjusjoen.

0:17:01 > 0:17:02Stuff?

0:17:04 > 0:17:08We're just driving around anyway, so what the fuck?

0:17:13 > 0:17:15Go ahead.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27CAR HORN BEEPS

0:17:38 > 0:17:41- Johnny Henriksen.- Ja?

0:17:41 > 0:17:46I got a little business to discuss, if you got a minute.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49Business?

0:17:49 > 0:17:52Yeah, you know, I'm here on behalf of some friends.

0:17:52 > 0:17:57We want to buy the place. It's a generous offer.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59It's not for sale.

0:17:59 > 0:18:05Look, friend, this project's going to happen.

0:18:05 > 0:18:10It's going to happen the easy way or it's going to happen the hard way.

0:18:10 > 0:18:12- SARCASTICALLY:- Ooh!

0:18:14 > 0:18:19- Is this a threat? - Just a little friendly advice.

0:18:19 > 0:18:20I'm not interested.

0:18:21 > 0:18:24"You have to be the change you want to see in the world."

0:18:24 > 0:18:28Yeah, well, remember what Confucius said.

0:18:28 > 0:18:31"A man who pass on generous offer

0:18:31 > 0:18:34"often wind up with an umbrella up his ass."

0:20:03 > 0:20:05KNOCK AT DOOR

0:20:30 > 0:20:32Fucking hell.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36OK now, let's not go all Blackwater here.

0:20:36 > 0:20:38We're just sending him a message.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41I got it, I got it, boss. I got it.

0:20:41 > 0:20:43Just mess the place up a little bit

0:20:43 > 0:20:48so the tree-hugger knows we're not the kind of people you fuck with.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51Yeah, I read you loud and clear, boss.

0:20:52 > 0:20:57Now, make me proud. Go hit a home run.

0:20:57 > 0:21:01Yeah. You fucking prick!

0:21:22 > 0:21:23GATE CREAKS

0:21:38 > 0:21:40WINDOW SMASHES

0:21:40 > 0:21:43HE SCREAMS

0:21:49 > 0:21:51Yeah, I got that, I got that.

0:21:54 > 0:21:55Drive!

0:22:13 > 0:22:16HE MUTTERS IN NORWEGIAN

0:22:45 > 0:22:48PHONE RINGS

0:24:06 > 0:24:08Siw? Siw?

0:24:12 > 0:24:15PARTY HOOTERS BLARE

0:24:25 > 0:24:27Hi!

0:24:33 > 0:24:36We are having a birthday party now.

0:24:36 > 0:24:39Have I mixed up the dates or something?

0:24:39 > 0:24:40- Giovanni!- My man!

0:24:46 > 0:24:49I can come back another time.

0:25:05 > 0:25:06Sounds great.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13What do you say, gang, huh?

0:25:15 > 0:25:18- Happy birthday, my friend.- Thanks!

0:25:19 > 0:25:20KIDS: Whoa!

0:25:27 > 0:25:29Yeah, you like that? Whoa!

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Yeah, yeah, enjoy it, you know.

0:25:34 > 0:25:35Got a nice piece here.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46DOORBELL RINGS

0:26:20 > 0:26:25I just had it lying around. I didn't know it was so important.

0:27:01 > 0:27:02Excuse me?

0:27:05 > 0:27:08Do you speak English?

0:27:08 > 0:27:11Yes. English, German and Esperanto.

0:27:11 > 0:27:12Ah.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14Well, listen up, Einstein.

0:27:14 > 0:27:17It's not polite to disrespect other people's gifts,

0:27:17 > 0:27:21especially when you're giving away trash you found in your backyard.

0:27:54 > 0:27:57OK.

0:27:57 > 0:28:00Maybe this isn't the right time or place, I just, uh...

0:28:01 > 0:28:04I need to tell you. I, um...

0:28:28 > 0:28:32Try and take it easy, try and take it easy.

0:28:32 > 0:28:34EMBRIK YELLS LOUDLY

0:28:36 > 0:28:40Oh, Madonna mia. I'll tell you one thing,

0:28:40 > 0:28:43that's the reason why I never wanted to have kids.

0:28:46 > 0:28:49So, er, what did you want to talk about?

0:28:49 > 0:28:53- Hmm?- You started to say something.

0:28:56 > 0:29:00It wasn't anything important.

0:29:01 > 0:29:05I hope, for your sake, that embryobrat's not staying over.

0:29:08 > 0:29:11And he lives all the way up on that farm shop,

0:29:11 > 0:29:13at Ringsaker, you know?

0:29:13 > 0:29:16Mm, I know it.

0:30:54 > 0:30:55Siw.

0:30:55 > 0:30:58Siw!

0:30:58 > 0:30:59DOOR SLAMS

0:31:42 > 0:31:45I hope this means what I think it means.

0:31:45 > 0:31:47Yeah, your partner told me where I could find you, so...

0:32:00 > 0:32:03- You will have the money by Friday, my friend.- OK, OK.

0:32:03 > 0:32:05You're doing the right thing here.

0:32:05 > 0:32:08By the way...

0:32:08 > 0:32:11Oh, the kid's toy pistol, huh?

0:32:11 > 0:32:13Yeah, I'll get it back to him.

0:32:15 > 0:32:17All right.

0:32:17 > 0:32:22Oh, by the way, what happened to Ghandi

0:32:22 > 0:32:26and "be the change you want in the world" and all that?

0:32:58 > 0:32:59We're busy.

0:32:59 > 0:33:04Oh, yeah? Well, you might want to find room on the agenda for this.

0:33:15 > 0:33:17I told you I would, didn't I?

0:33:17 > 0:33:19THEY CHUCKLE

0:33:23 > 0:33:26Johnny Henriksen, I love you!

0:33:26 > 0:33:29Whoa, take it easy, now. Take it easy, big guy.

0:33:29 > 0:33:32Easy? Do you know what this means?

0:33:39 > 0:33:42Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

0:33:44 > 0:33:47Are there any special terms?

0:33:47 > 0:33:50No, just got to make a deal with the new owner.

0:33:51 > 0:33:53New owner?

0:33:58 > 0:34:03Not exactly. Technically, he left it in my name

0:34:03 > 0:34:10and I made the deposit, so I guess it's my property.

0:34:15 > 0:34:17Yeah, yeah, the penthouse is still good.

0:34:17 > 0:34:20But lately I've been getting a little concerned

0:34:20 > 0:34:21about the environment.

0:34:23 > 0:34:25So what do you want?

0:34:25 > 0:34:26Well, for instance,

0:34:26 > 0:34:30if I was to be made a partner in the Belleview project,

0:34:30 > 0:34:35I suppose that would alleviate my environmental concerns.

0:34:54 > 0:34:55Oh!

0:34:57 > 0:35:00We go way back. Winter sports.

0:35:00 > 0:35:03OK. That's nice.

0:35:06 > 0:35:11- Penthouse turned out good.- Oh, thank you. Glad you liked it.- Yeah.

0:35:13 > 0:35:18By the way, are you sure he's not too - how can I put this? -

0:35:18 > 0:35:21thirsty for the job?

0:35:21 > 0:35:25Well, he's a party guy but he can sell camel shit to the Arabs.

0:35:25 > 0:35:27He gets the job done.

0:35:27 > 0:35:29Here you go.

0:35:29 > 0:35:31OK, cheers.

0:35:31 > 0:35:33Cheers. To camel shit.

0:35:33 > 0:35:35To camel shit.

0:35:35 > 0:35:36OK.

0:35:42 > 0:35:44Hello, hello, hello!

0:36:45 > 0:36:47So, Mr Driving Instructor,

0:36:47 > 0:36:50call me crazy, but it looks like your wife wanted a condo?

0:36:54 > 0:36:57I could make it happen.

0:36:57 > 0:36:58Yeah?

0:36:58 > 0:37:01Yeah, I'm one of the owners.

0:37:01 > 0:37:05I can get you a great deal. Just need a little something in return.

0:37:07 > 0:37:09A little something...?

0:37:11 > 0:37:14Yeah, a little laminated something that says I can drive in Norway.

0:37:23 > 0:37:25The book, the book.

0:37:25 > 0:37:28Always the book.

0:37:28 > 0:37:31You think that pretty little wife of yours cares about the book?

0:37:36 > 0:37:39OK, if you can give me a good deal,

0:37:39 > 0:37:42a very good deal,

0:37:42 > 0:37:47I can talk to a kompis at Biltilsynet.

0:37:50 > 0:37:51You got it.

0:39:16 > 0:39:18Oh, Jesus Christ...

0:39:35 > 0:39:36- Hey, doll.- Hi.

0:39:39 > 0:39:40Yeah, sure.

0:39:40 > 0:39:43Alpha to Bravo.

0:39:43 > 0:39:47'Alpha to Bravo.'

0:39:48 > 0:39:51SHE GIGGLES

0:39:56 > 0:39:58RADIO HUMS, TURNS TO STATIC

0:40:00 > 0:40:01Is Jonas here?

0:40:05 > 0:40:08Good, I wanted to give this back to him, you know.

0:41:01 > 0:41:04Get off me, you lunatic! It's a toy!

0:41:04 > 0:41:06Oh, yeah, right!

0:41:08 > 0:41:10Stopp, stopp, stopp, stopp!

0:43:23 > 0:43:26- It's all right. - Do you want some tea?- Yeah.

0:43:28 > 0:43:30You know, actually, you got any aspirin?

0:43:32 > 0:43:33It's in my purse.

0:43:35 > 0:43:36Purse.

0:43:51 > 0:43:56# If it's love that you want

0:43:56 > 0:44:01# Baby, you've got it. #

0:44:02 > 0:44:05Yeah, I really think we need to talk.

0:44:05 > 0:44:09# But I've been watching you

0:44:09 > 0:44:14# And I don't think that's your game

0:44:14 > 0:44:20# Boy, there's no need to explain

0:44:20 > 0:44:26# Any way that you want me

0:44:26 > 0:44:32# Any way that you take me

0:44:32 > 0:44:36# Any way that you'll make me be a part of you. #