0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains some strong language
0:00:06 > 0:00:09and some scenes of a sexual nature.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Yeah. Eyes to me.
0:00:18 > 0:00:23- Yeah, that's good.- So, how long have you been in the States?
0:00:23 > 0:00:25Two years.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28- Why do you move here? - Seemed like a good idea at the time.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Keep it to me.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34So you're from London?
0:00:34 > 0:00:39Yeah, but I moved to Glasgow when I was eleven.
0:00:44 > 0:00:49- My boyfriend's family's from Europe. - Yeah?- Yeah. We're getting hitched.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52My manager wanted us to do this lame rock wedding thing
0:00:52 > 0:00:57but we thought we'd sneak up to Vegas and do it Chapel of Love style.
0:00:57 > 0:01:01Sounds great(!)
0:01:01 > 0:01:02Can I just...
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Yeah.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11He's a great guy too.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15Looks like a real hard man, but he's a total softy.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19And how long have you been into women?
0:01:19 > 0:01:21I didn't say I was.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25You don't have to.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00They'll be wanting us out of here.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01MOBILE RINGS
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Better tell them we're still busy.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Yeah?
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Karen!
0:02:14 > 0:02:16When?
0:02:19 > 0:02:21I see...
0:02:22 > 0:02:26Um... I'm working right now.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Can I get you on this number in a couple of hours?
0:02:29 > 0:02:32OK, bye.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36Are you OK?
0:02:36 > 0:02:38My aunt just died.
0:02:38 > 0:02:43I'm so sorry, were you close?
0:02:43 > 0:02:46My uncle and aunt brought me up after my parents died.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49God, I'm so sorry.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Don't be.
0:02:51 > 0:02:56The way I see it, one family member down, two to go. Now, where were we?
0:02:59 > 0:03:04MUSIC: "I Fought the Angels" by The Delgados.
0:03:42 > 0:03:47ANSWERPHONE: 'You have three new messages
0:03:48 > 0:03:50'Message one.'
0:03:50 > 0:03:54Hey, Frankie! Al here. Where are you? I've been
0:03:54 > 0:03:58calling your cell for days. Are you out chasing tail again?
0:03:58 > 0:04:00You outrageous tart.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Call me.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07'Message two.'
0:04:07 > 0:04:11This is a message for Ms Alan regarding the outstanding payment on your credit card.
0:04:11 > 0:04:16Can you call us to discuss. Thank you.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21'Message three.'
0:04:21 > 0:04:23This is your Aunty Carol here.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Francesca I'm, I'm...
0:04:27 > 0:04:29I need you to come home.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31There's something I want...
0:04:31 > 0:04:35I need to tell you face to face. I hope you'll forgive me.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40'You have no more messages.'
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Cigarette?
0:05:11 > 0:05:15- All right, gorgeous?! How much? - Hello!
0:05:50 > 0:05:54- So the flight sucked? - Yeah, well, it would've been fine
0:05:54 > 0:05:56if the guy next to me hadn't got to chatting about his kids.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00See when that happens I just zone out and stare at the air hostesses.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04I have this fantasy about stripping their clothes off and taking them up the aisle.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Jay, you have fantasies about everyone except your own mum and sister.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09That is not true.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11My sister's quite hot.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Are you all right, by the way?
0:06:17 > 0:06:22- You know, about your aunt. - I haven't spoken to her in ten years so what's the difference?
0:06:22 > 0:06:26I've been needing a break from New York so this was the perfect excuse.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31I was thinking about popping into the office later for lunch.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35Lunch? No, I don't know if that's such a good idea. Um...
0:06:35 > 0:06:36Cat's joined the firm.
0:06:36 > 0:06:43- I suppose she's still angry with me? - Well, you know, she doesn't really talk about you much these days.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Were you hoping to see her while you're over?
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Um, maybe.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50You haven't told her about my aunt?
0:06:50 > 0:06:54No! Look, I haven't told her you're over. I'm keeping well out of this.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Good.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Cat, look...
0:07:50 > 0:07:53This is Chloe's Facebook picture.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57And this is the picture I took of her at your birthday party.
0:07:57 > 0:08:01- One and the same! - Tess, I just need to... - She dumps me and then the bitch
0:08:01 > 0:08:04uses a sexy photo I took of her as her Facebook picture.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Is it just me or is that criminal?
0:08:06 > 0:08:10- It might just be you. - She wasn't even on Facebook. She's...
0:08:10 > 0:08:13probably only on there to lure some new girlfriend in to her lair.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15She is history...
0:08:15 > 0:08:19They can take her away and incinerate her for all I care!
0:08:19 > 0:08:23- That's my laundry basket.- Good! She could do with a wash, filthy trollop.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29I'm on Gaydar. The cop just asked me for a drink tonight.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30Jesus. Bury the headline!
0:08:30 > 0:08:33- Why didn't you say?- I was trying to. I need to get back to her.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Do you think I should have more time to prepare?
0:08:36 > 0:08:40It's a date, not the Miss Gay UK pageant. I thought you liked her.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42I do which is why I want to make sure I'm ready.
0:08:42 > 0:08:47Frankie was two years ago, how much more ready can you be?
0:08:47 > 0:08:51She's pretty, she's butch, she's a cop. She's all your fantasies rolled in to one.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54But my bedroom's a tip. What if I want to bring her back?
0:08:54 > 0:08:56And that tea stain on the carpet...
0:08:56 > 0:09:01Yeah, well, Romeo was nuts for Juliet till he saw the tea stain on her carpet.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03You need to move on.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07You're going. Tonight. OK?
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Tess!
0:09:10 > 0:09:14Can you take Chloe out of the laundry basket?
0:09:31 > 0:09:32It's the second floor.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Why don't we go out on the piss and catch up?
0:09:35 > 0:09:37You can meet Becky.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Yeah, all right.
0:09:50 > 0:09:51I borrowed the skirt off Cat.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55- Yeah, you look great. - No, I look rubbish!
0:09:55 > 0:09:56How does your sister carry this off?
0:09:56 > 0:10:00Maybe it just looks better on a control freak.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01Is he slacking again?
0:10:01 > 0:10:07No. I'm engaged in the very important task of helping Tess choose an audition outfit.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11I wouldn't take his advice, I'm the only one with style in our family. Good luck!
0:10:11 > 0:10:14I'm off to work. See ya!
0:10:14 > 0:10:18This is a disaster. I've got exactly one hour to find an
0:10:18 > 0:10:22audition outfit and I don't even know what a face cream expert looks like.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Hopeless anyway. I'm going to be surrounded
0:10:25 > 0:10:28by a bunch of girlie straight women who actually use face cream.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Why did I have to find out about her Facebook picture today
0:10:31 > 0:10:37on the one day I could get a job and sort my life out?
0:10:37 > 0:10:39- Do you think she's gone on there to pull? - No.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Everyone's on Facebook.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Well, that's why you joined though...
0:10:43 > 0:10:46I'm so desperate going to the dentist is a pulling opportunity.
0:10:46 > 0:10:51You're kind and funny, women should be queuing up.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55Women of my age don't want impoverished, would-be novelists.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59They want rich, attractive James Bond types who
0:10:59 > 0:11:02wrestle sharks and eat steak raw. - You are attractive.
0:11:02 > 0:11:03Really?
0:11:03 > 0:11:07You've never said I'm attractive before.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09I am a lesbian so I'm not sure it counts.
0:11:09 > 0:11:15I've got the perfect dress but I left it at Chloe's when I moved out.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Sod it, I'm going to go round there and get it.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21- Are you sure that's a good idea? - Yeah, why not? She'll be at work.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25Come on. I'm not letting her ruin this along with everything else.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28I can't go on my own.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29Please...
0:11:32 > 0:11:33(SOBBING)
0:11:36 > 0:11:37Shit.
0:12:08 > 0:12:09Come on, we're going to be late!
0:12:13 > 0:12:15- Here we go. - Not that way.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Where are you going?
0:12:17 > 0:12:20- This way! - Tess!
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Tess...
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Tess...
0:12:28 > 0:12:31I had to give my keys back but the bedroom window's got a faulty catch.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34If you jiggle the frame you can get it open.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- What?! - Can you help me up?
0:12:36 > 0:12:38You didn't say anything about breaking in.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Well, it's no big deal.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43We did it all the time when we lost our keys.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45We're technically burglars.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47You can't burgle something that belongs to you.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51- No! - I thought you said you wanted to be like James Bond.
0:12:51 > 0:12:52James Bond would help me up.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45I was looking for you earlier. They said you took the morning off.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Oh, yeah... I was at the, er...
0:13:47 > 0:13:50doctors.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Phew! Have you checked out Alistair's new PA?
0:13:52 > 0:13:55She's got this whole mysterious thing going on.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59That's what men say when they haven't seen a woman naked yet. Anyway, you've got a girlfriend.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00I'm only looking.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03I'm relying on my single friends for vicarious kicks.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06A little bird tells me you've got a date with a hot cop.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09- I'm going to kill Tess. - Come on, it's exciting.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12- I thought the whole cop thing was getting you going.- I know.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16I'm not cut out for this whole blind dating thing.
0:14:16 > 0:14:17Just got to go with the flow.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Enjoy the spontaneity!
0:14:23 > 0:14:27Actually, scrub that, you'll never manage it. How about I go instead?
0:14:27 > 0:14:31She'd be welcome to take down my particulars.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Are you OK?
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Cat?
0:14:46 > 0:14:49I've just got to... toilet.
0:14:57 > 0:14:58Cat?!
0:15:01 > 0:15:03I was only messing about.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Can you hurry up? You're pretty heavy.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21- Are you saying I'm fat? - You're dislocating my shoulder.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Ah, got it!
0:15:28 > 0:15:32Oops! Ready?
0:15:32 > 0:15:33Yeah...
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Right. This way...
0:15:40 > 0:15:42There's another wardrobe in the living room.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44- It's red silk, mid-length. - OK.
0:16:00 > 0:16:05I can't find it. I don't think it's going to be in there.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08- Are you OK? - Chloe doesn't wear contact lenses.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Well, maybe she does now.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14And she isn't a D cup either.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17Do you think she's seeing someone else?
0:16:17 > 0:16:20No. She's probably just got a friend staying.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22DOOR OPENS, CHATTER >
0:16:22 > 0:16:24I thought you said she was at work?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26She should be.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Shit. Hide.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Don't be ridiculous, we'll have to tell her we're here.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35- We can't, we broke in. - You said it wasn't a big deal Well, I lied!
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Get under here or I'm going to have to kill you!
0:16:45 > 0:16:49- So, did you clear it with your boss? - No, I'll probably get a tongue lashing.- Uh-uh.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52Me first.
0:17:01 > 0:17:06MOANING AND GROANING
0:17:06 > 0:17:13Yeah... Mmm ah...
0:17:13 > 0:17:15I'm not listening to this.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- I'm going to crawl out. - She'll see you!
0:17:17 > 0:17:20- I'm going to miss my audition. - Too bad!
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Tess!
0:17:30 > 0:17:32FLOORBOARD CREAKS
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Oh, my God!
0:17:37 > 0:17:40What the hell are you doing here?
0:17:41 > 0:17:43I think she was under the bed!
0:17:43 > 0:17:46I came to get my dress back.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47Now I see why I couldn't find it.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50And you just thought you'd hide under the bed.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52- Have you gone mad?- Hi.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- How the hell did you even get in here?- Bedroom window.
0:17:58 > 0:17:59I told you to fix the lock.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02- Why? To stop you breaking in? - What's going on?
0:18:02 > 0:18:07I'm Chloe's ex. Who the hell are you?
0:18:07 > 0:18:10- Shona.- What? Not...
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Not Shona who you got on so well with at Spanish class?
0:18:13 > 0:18:17I refuse to get in to this when you shouldn't even be here.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21Were you... were you seeing her before you finished with me?
0:18:21 > 0:18:23- No!- Maybe it'd be better to tell the truth.
0:18:23 > 0:18:28- Just keep out of this. - Oh, I'd get used to being bossed around if I were you.
0:18:28 > 0:18:29- Tess, I think we should go.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33- Yes, go!- I'm not going anywhere till I get my dress back.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35- I'll send it to you.- I need it now.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14- Are you sure you're OK?- Yeah. Fine.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19- Are you skiving off early? - No, it's our last chance to
0:19:19 > 0:19:22see the other designs for the university library bid.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24It closes today, do you want to come?
0:19:24 > 0:19:27No, no. I've got a lot on. What?!
0:19:27 > 0:19:29I have!
0:19:29 > 0:19:33I've got to check who's following me on Twitter.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Just say, "Jay Adams is a teenager trapped in the body of a man."
0:19:36 > 0:19:39There's plenty of time to be a grown up when I'm old.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41I hate to break it to you, but we are old.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44If Alistair finds out you didn't go he won't be happy.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46It's fine, I've got it covered.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49You can tell me all about it and I'll pretend I did.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51I'll see you tomorrow.
0:19:51 > 0:19:55- Cat, I expect- all- the details on your date, right?
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Not just the boring bits.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Hey.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31What are you doing here?
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Good to see you too.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39"How are you, Frankie? I'm fine thanks. You?"
0:20:41 > 0:20:42I'm working.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Now's not a good time. I have to go to a... thing.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Well, mind if I walk with you?
0:20:47 > 0:20:50I'll take that as a no.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53- Going on a site visit?- No.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Something interesting?
0:20:55 > 0:20:58No, it's deathly dull, actually.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01The council are displaying the designs for our library bid.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Jay wheedled his way out of it.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05I don't blame him. That is fucking dull.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09Unless you've got fit waitresses handing out canapes, that helps pass the time.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14- Look, I'm sorry. - What do you want, Frankie?
0:21:16 > 0:21:21- To talk to you.- And you didn't think to call first, ask if it was OK?
0:21:21 > 0:21:23I thought you might say no.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27So you went ahead and just turned up anyway?
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Like I said, I can't talk now, I have to be somewhere.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Sorry.
0:21:51 > 0:21:56- Hi.- Hello.- Tess Roberts, I'm here to audition for Refresh face cream.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Right. OK.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Um, if someone calls me can you just tell them that I'm in the loo?
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Yeah, that's fine, OK.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Shit...
0:22:18 > 0:22:23Oh, no... oh, my God...
0:22:29 > 0:22:32- KNOCK AT DOOR - Tess Roberts?- Shit.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Tess Roberts due in audition now.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45- Can I just leave my bag here?- Yes.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58- MAN:- We're just casting now. A bit tedious.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Well, I'll see you after lunch.
0:23:01 > 0:23:05- OK, Tess Roberts?- Yeah.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07- You've learnt your lines?- Yes.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10If you'd like to take a seat next to Sally.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- Hi.- Hi. - When you're ready, ladies,
0:23:16 > 0:23:18take it from the top.
0:23:21 > 0:23:25I just have such dry skin. Whatever I do it doesn't seem to make any difference.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Have you tried Refresh face cream?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Refresh has been scientifically proven...
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Sorry, er, Trish?
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- It's...- Could you make sure you really punch up "refresh"
0:23:35 > 0:23:39so you sound refreshed when you say it? OK?
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Sally...
0:23:41 > 0:23:44I just have such dry skin.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Whatever I do it doesn't seem to make any difference.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Have you tried Refresh face cream?
0:23:49 > 0:23:55Refresh has been scientifically proven to retain moisture and alleviate parched, dry skin.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Sorry, Trish, it's great...
0:23:57 > 0:24:05- great on "refresh", but could you sound more aggrieved at the prospect of really parched, dry skin.- Yeah.
0:24:05 > 0:24:11Um, Refresh has been scientifically proven to retain moisture
0:24:11 > 0:24:16- and alleviate parched, dry skin. - Bit more aggrieved than that.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20Refresh has been scientifically proven
0:24:20 > 0:24:23to retain moisture and alleviate parched, dry skin.
0:24:23 > 0:24:28Sorry, Trish, you're sounding slightly more upset...
0:24:28 > 0:24:31It's Tess, all right. My name's Tess!
0:24:31 > 0:24:33You...
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Sorry, um...
0:24:42 > 0:24:46I'm sorry... I'm really sorry, I've, er...
0:24:52 > 0:24:56Oh, it is... it is Tess. Tess.
0:25:13 > 0:25:18Sorry, it's invite only, you can't go in till I've ticked your name off the list.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Jay Adams. Alistair Brice Associates.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25Jay Brian Adams?
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Yeah. Look, I get this all the time.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31I was named after my grandfather. He died the day I was born.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36Look, if you want to call my boss, Alistair Brice, and check, feel free.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Sorry. Can you... can you excuse me a minute?
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Don't you know that it's illegal to stalk people?
0:25:46 > 0:25:53- I can't talk to you now. - I thought you might want this. Still losing things? See you.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56Frankie!
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Thanks. I... I didn't even know I'd lost it.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07How did you even get in here?
0:26:07 > 0:26:09I thought it was invite only.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12I said I was Jay. Although it was a bit tricky.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14Did you know his middle name is Brian?
0:26:14 > 0:26:15Brian Adams?
0:26:15 > 0:26:19Shit, he's kept that under wraps.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21That bloke keeps staring at you.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24Oh, Jesus he's a total pain. He keeps cornering me at events.
0:26:24 > 0:26:30Well, you can't really blame him, you are looking incredibly hot.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34Oh, is that why you left me, cos I looked so hot? Thanks for the wallet, I need to get back.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Don't go, let's...
0:26:37 > 0:26:39- let's get out of here, yeah? - I'm working.
0:26:39 > 0:26:43Checking out library designs with a bunch of council pen-pushers?
0:26:43 > 0:26:45What makes you think I'd prefer spending time with you?
0:26:45 > 0:26:48We haven't seen each other in two years, so I thought...
0:26:48 > 0:26:50That you'd just waltz back in here?
0:26:50 > 0:26:54- Jesus, I just wanted a conversation, but you're so uptight. - I'm not uptight!
0:26:54 > 0:26:57What are you doing in Glasgow anyway?
0:26:58 > 0:27:02Actually, I don't want to know.
0:27:02 > 0:27:06I don't care what you do any more, Frankie, as long as you leave me alone.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30You're sure she didn't tell you she was coming?
0:27:30 > 0:27:31Cat, I'm as surprised as you are.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35Frankie's hardly one for planning in advance, is she?
0:27:35 > 0:27:39- Or giving a shit about other people. - Yeah, that too.- Shit!
0:27:42 > 0:27:45Well, if she thinks we can be pals again, she can forget it.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48Well, she must realise that's unlikely.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50So, the cop...
0:27:50 > 0:27:53do you think I should mention dinner once we've had a drink?
0:27:53 > 0:27:56- Play it by ear. - I should've suggested a gay bar.
0:27:56 > 0:28:01It's just if we go somewhere sceney, we'll bump into ten people we know.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05What if she wants to make a pass at me? She won't in some straight pub.
0:28:05 > 0:28:09Shit, I've totally fucked things up and I'm not even there yet.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11Well, you could rearrange for another night.
0:28:11 > 0:28:16- You're the one who said I should go tonight!- But that was before Frankie got you wound up.
0:28:16 > 0:28:17I'm not wound up.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19I'm not! I'm fine. I'm absolutely fine.
0:28:19 > 0:28:22It's good I saw her and remembered what she's like.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25We're too old to be dating fuck-ups.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27Shit. I'm going to be late.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30You don't think the heels and the dress are too much, do you?
0:28:30 > 0:28:32If she was after some diesel dyke with a tattoo
0:28:32 > 0:28:34she would have hardly gone for you!
0:28:34 > 0:28:40Look, stop fussing and go! And try and have fun. OK?
0:28:40 > 0:28:41OK...
0:29:01 > 0:29:04Hi, can I have a large glass of dry white wine, please?
0:29:42 > 0:29:45Anyway, Frankie, what the hell are you doing here?
0:29:45 > 0:29:49And more to the point, why didn't you tell us you were coming?
0:29:49 > 0:29:53It was a last-minute thing, I just needed to get away for a bit.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55Well, it's bloody great to see you.
0:29:55 > 0:29:58I say we drink to Frankie's return.
0:29:58 > 0:30:01- Yeah!- And here is to Chloe being out of Tess's life.
0:30:01 > 0:30:04- She was a total pain in the arse. - I'll second that.
0:30:04 > 0:30:07Sorry, but she was a bit of a nightmare.
0:30:07 > 0:30:11Uh-uh. Never bitch about the ex, in case there's a lesurrection!
0:30:11 > 0:30:12No chance. You're right.
0:30:12 > 0:30:15I spent five years being walked all over by that selfish bitch.
0:30:15 > 0:30:19As of today I am moving on.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22Tess Roberts is going out there and getting laid.
0:30:22 > 0:30:25Been dusting off your amazing chat-up lines?
0:30:25 > 0:30:27I can't chat people up.
0:30:27 > 0:30:30I just... I do what most lesbians do, stare at
0:30:30 > 0:30:34women hungrily and pray somebody else will make the first move.
0:30:34 > 0:30:37Well, look aloof and uninterested and they probably will.
0:30:37 > 0:30:41- What, like play hard to get? - Yes.- OK, I'll give it a whirl.
0:30:41 > 0:30:44Loads of people will want to shag you. - Like who?
0:30:46 > 0:30:51I'm sure there's somebody in this bar right now that's dying to get their hands on you.
0:30:53 > 0:30:56Mmm, I think that hottie might be dying to get her hands on me.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00- Jay!- What? She keeps staring at me.
0:31:00 > 0:31:05It's a gay bar, Jay, she's probably wondering why you're staring at her.
0:31:05 > 0:31:11- And behave or I'm sending you home. - Oi! Lesbians are such killjoys.
0:31:11 > 0:31:14You'll be making me burn my bra and sing folk songs next.
0:31:14 > 0:31:18Hi, I'm Becky, this Neanderthal's better half. You must be Frankie.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21- Great to meet you finally.- Likewise. - What you all drinking?
0:31:21 > 0:31:24- Oh... - I wouldn't mind another beer.
0:31:24 > 0:31:27- MOBILE RINGS - It's Cat.
0:31:27 > 0:31:30Cat, hi.
0:31:34 > 0:31:37She's not here yet. Do you think she's stood me up?
0:31:37 > 0:31:40Why did you let me come? I'm too wound up for this.
0:31:40 > 0:31:44I know I said that, but clearly I was talking rubbish.
0:31:44 > 0:31:49OK, call me in half an hour and if she's a moose I'll make my excuses and leave.
0:31:49 > 0:31:50Hi...
0:31:50 > 0:31:53You're Cat?
0:31:53 > 0:31:57Yes. Hang on, Tess.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59I'm sorry I'm late. Can I get you another?
0:31:59 > 0:32:03- Yes.- Unless you want to make your excuses and leave?
0:32:03 > 0:32:06Yes. I mean, yes, to another drink.
0:32:06 > 0:32:10Not that I want to leave. Can I have a white wine, thanks?
0:32:10 > 0:32:13Yes, one white wine coming up.
0:32:18 > 0:32:23Shit, she's gorgeous and I've just made a complete tit of myself. OK.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28I'm calming down. I'm completely calm.
0:32:28 > 0:32:32GENERAL BAR CHATTER
0:32:35 > 0:32:38- There you go. So, how's it going? - Oh, I don't know.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40She just arrived when I was talking to her.
0:32:40 > 0:32:43Cat's on a blind date with a cop.
0:32:43 > 0:32:45Wouldn't have thought a cop was Cat's thing.
0:32:45 > 0:32:49She's a gay cop - hardly going to be some baton-wielding thug.
0:32:49 > 0:32:53Oh, what, cos you're gay that means you're right on, does it?
0:32:53 > 0:32:55I'm going for a fag.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04- Charming(!) - Well, you were pretty tactless.
0:33:04 > 0:33:06What? Oh, come on!
0:33:06 > 0:33:09They broke up two years ago, and she dumped Cat.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11It isn't a crime to finish with someone.
0:33:11 > 0:33:15She persuaded Cat to leave her girlfriend for her and then got cold feet.
0:33:15 > 0:33:17That's a crime in my book.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20Well, if she messes Cat around again, she'll have me to deal with.
0:33:20 > 0:33:24In a fist fight I think Frankie'd win!
0:33:24 > 0:33:27- What? - How was Cat when she saw her? - I don't know if
0:33:27 > 0:33:29going on a date was such a good idea.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32She's probably interviewing her as we speak.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35She did go armed with a list of questions to ask.
0:33:35 > 0:33:39So, how do you like being in the police?
0:33:39 > 0:33:43- So how do you like being in the police?- Yeah, I love it.
0:33:43 > 0:33:46It's really interesting work. My dad's a policeman,
0:33:46 > 0:33:50- we're really close. - I had my purse stolen once and the policeman was great.
0:33:50 > 0:33:52Not what you'd expect at all.
0:33:52 > 0:33:54- What was it you expected? - Well, you know.
0:33:54 > 0:33:59Some people think the police are power-hungry homophobes who get their kicks beating up suspects.
0:33:59 > 0:34:03Obviously I don't think that, and clearly you're not like that.
0:34:05 > 0:34:10Well, I, um... I try to only beat up suspects twice a week tops.
0:34:10 > 0:34:14And then I always use a bag of oranges so it doesn't leave any marks.
0:34:17 > 0:34:20- I'm joking.- Right.
0:34:20 > 0:34:24Right! Actually, when I had my purse stolen it was me that wanted to punch the guy.
0:34:24 > 0:34:27Not that I'm usually violent.
0:34:27 > 0:34:29I wanted to kill my ex-girlfriend today...
0:34:29 > 0:34:32Um, we broke up ages ago, I'm not still hung up on her.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35She just turned up unexpectedly.
0:34:35 > 0:34:36Today.
0:34:41 > 0:34:45Sorry, it's work...
0:34:45 > 0:34:48DS Murray.
0:34:48 > 0:34:54Right, I see... No, that's fine, I'll be with you as soon as I can.
0:34:54 > 0:34:55OK, bye.
0:34:58 > 0:35:02- I'm sorry, but there's been a big breakthrough on the case, and I have to go in straightaway.- OK.
0:35:02 > 0:35:05Well, maybe we could do this again some time?
0:35:05 > 0:35:09Yeah. I gotta dash, I'll catch you later.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11OK.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26How come Becky had to leave?
0:35:26 > 0:35:29She's got a shift at six thirty.
0:35:29 > 0:35:35I'm sorry if she was a bit tactless earlier on, you know, about Cat.
0:35:35 > 0:35:36She wasn't,
0:35:36 > 0:35:39it isn't like I expected her to stay single.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42So is it serious with you and Becky?
0:35:42 > 0:35:44Yeah, it is, yeah.
0:35:44 > 0:35:45It's been two years.
0:35:45 > 0:35:48We're looking for a flat together, you know.
0:35:48 > 0:35:53Who'd have thought someone would finally tame the sex beast that is Jay Adams.
0:35:55 > 0:36:00- Jay Brian Adams? - When I find out who told you that, they're dead.
0:36:00 > 0:36:04So, what about you? Have you
0:36:04 > 0:36:06got a "special friend" in New York, or...?
0:36:06 > 0:36:09I've never been very good at the special friend thing.
0:36:09 > 0:36:12- But you're still Betty Both-ways? - What's it to you?
0:36:12 > 0:36:14I'm just making friendly conversation.
0:36:14 > 0:36:18Men come in handy occasionally when there isn't a woman around.
0:36:18 > 0:36:20Does Becky know you're a total snatch hound?
0:36:20 > 0:36:24I am not... any more.
0:36:24 > 0:36:26I'm... I'm not!
0:36:26 > 0:36:29Look, I haven't slept with anyone else
0:36:29 > 0:36:34in a year. Right? She caught me once, said that if it happened again it was over.
0:36:34 > 0:36:35So I haven't.
0:36:35 > 0:36:40Christ, you'll be playing golf and buying a barbecue next.
0:36:40 > 0:36:41Fuck off!
0:36:41 > 0:36:44No. Honestly, I think it's admirable.
0:36:44 > 0:36:47Sleeping with the same person again and again,
0:36:47 > 0:36:51never getting to see anyone else naked, except by accident.
0:37:02 > 0:37:05- Here you go.- Ah, thank you.
0:37:06 > 0:37:09Right. Last person to down theirs gives Ed a blow job.
0:37:15 > 0:37:19- OK. Who have I got? - Right, who was it?
0:37:19 > 0:37:21- It was me or... - Jay!
0:37:21 > 0:37:22No way!
0:37:52 > 0:37:56Who says dreams don't come true? Yesterday I find out my ex is
0:37:56 > 0:38:00cheating on me, today I'm dressed as a fizzy drink.
0:38:00 > 0:38:02At least tights are designed for women.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04I might never have children.
0:38:04 > 0:38:06Why would you want them? Hi! Hello.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08At this rate I won't get the chance.
0:38:08 > 0:38:11My grandparents have a better sex life than I do.
0:38:11 > 0:38:13Don't be silly, they don't have sex.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15My granny told me. Twice a week, apparently.
0:38:15 > 0:38:16- Really? - Yeah.
0:38:16 > 0:38:22I can't decide if I think it's sweet or I need to lobotomize the bit of my brain that heard that.
0:38:22 > 0:38:26- Have you checked out Lou Foster? - Who?
0:38:26 > 0:38:30The uber-babe over there. Presents Afternoons With Lou And Tom.
0:38:30 > 0:38:33- I don't watch it.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35- I just thought she might be your type.
0:38:35 > 0:38:38Well, she's everyone's type, but she's clearly straight,
0:38:38 > 0:38:43and even if she wasn't, I have the repelling stench of dumped and desperate about me.
0:38:43 > 0:38:44Don't be silly, you're gorge...
0:38:44 > 0:38:47I mean you're a real catch.
0:38:47 > 0:38:49Thanks. You don't have to say that.
0:38:49 > 0:38:55I need a wee. Try not to eat too many sweets while I'm gone, you don't want to add to your muffin top.
0:39:02 > 0:39:04Do you want a drink? No...
0:39:22 > 0:39:27Thanks to Frankie my date was a disaster. You could've bloody warned me!
0:39:27 > 0:39:29Maybe you should cut her some slack.
0:39:29 > 0:39:31And why the hell should I do that?
0:39:31 > 0:39:34I'm not supposed to tell you, but her aunt died, right?
0:39:34 > 0:39:36That's why she's over.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39- Oh, God...- It's all right, it's OK.
0:39:39 > 0:39:45- As it happens she doesn't seem that bothered.- But don't tell me she got blind drunk last night?
0:39:45 > 0:39:46We had a few, yeah.
0:39:49 > 0:39:52What? What have I done now?
0:39:52 > 0:39:54What do you think Frankie's going to do?
0:39:54 > 0:39:56Her aunt was the only mother she had!
0:39:56 > 0:39:59Well, how was I supposed to know?
0:39:59 > 0:40:01What do you care, I thought you hated her.
0:40:05 > 0:40:07Where is she?
0:40:15 > 0:40:19< SOBBING
0:40:40 > 0:40:46- Are you OK?- Oh! God, this is so embarrassing. I didn't know anyone was in here.
0:40:46 > 0:40:49It isn't, honestly. I cry in inappropriate places all the time.
0:40:49 > 0:40:54- I burst into tears in an audition yesterday.- Really?- Yeah!
0:40:54 > 0:40:57At least I don't have to wait by the phone to see if I got the job.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02I'm sorry,
0:41:02 > 0:41:03I'm not usually like this.
0:41:06 > 0:41:09My boyfriend dumped me.
0:41:09 > 0:41:13The bastard decided to stay with the wife that he was "definitely separating from".
0:41:15 > 0:41:19- Men are such pigs. - Believe me, women aren't much better.
0:41:19 > 0:41:24My ex was two-timing me with the woman she left me for, so...
0:41:24 > 0:41:26Oh, I should get back.
0:41:26 > 0:41:28ME and my friend Ed are by the drinks stand.
0:41:28 > 0:41:33If you need cheering up or you get bored, come and hang out.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35Thanks. Um...
0:41:35 > 0:41:37Tess.
0:41:37 > 0:41:42- You won't tell anyone I was...- No, I won't say a word. See you later.
0:41:56 > 0:41:58I'm here to see Mrs Alan.
0:41:58 > 0:42:03If you just go down this corridor, it's the fourth door to your right. If you could just sign in.
0:42:08 > 0:42:11Thanks. I like your tattoo.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13What does it mean?
0:42:13 > 0:42:16It's the Japanese symbol for lust.
0:42:18 > 0:42:22Well, if there's anything else I can help you with, just let me know.
0:42:22 > 0:42:23I'll bear that in mind.
0:42:47 > 0:42:48Taxi!
0:42:53 > 0:42:55Why would anyone dump her?
0:42:55 > 0:42:58Well, I find it comforting to know that you can be that gorgeous
0:42:58 > 0:43:00- and still get shat on. - Yeah.
0:43:00 > 0:43:03- You could be in there. - I always get that lucky.
0:43:03 > 0:43:08Hi! I just thought I'd take you up on your offer.
0:43:08 > 0:43:12- I need some respite from screaming kids.- Great, the more the merrier.
0:43:12 > 0:43:13Lou, this is my friend Ed.
0:43:13 > 0:43:16- Hi.- Hi. Nice to meet you. How are you doing?
0:43:16 > 0:43:18- Come round the back with us if you want.- Thanks.
0:43:18 > 0:43:22We could even arrange for one of these fabulously unflattering outfits for you.
0:43:22 > 0:43:24It's not so bad, shows off your great legs.
0:43:24 > 0:43:27Oh, thanks. I grew them myself.
0:43:27 > 0:43:30You're really funny.
0:43:30 > 0:43:32Ed really likes your show.
0:43:32 > 0:43:36- Yeah. I loved the interview you did with Derren Brown.- Oh, thanks.
0:43:36 > 0:43:39- So, you're an actress, then? - Er, yeah.
0:43:39 > 0:43:43Believe it or not, dressing up as a fizzy drink isn't my real vocation.
0:43:43 > 0:43:44Oh, no, I can imagine you on stage.
0:43:44 > 0:43:48You have that sort of... I don't know, presence about you.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51Sadly I only ever imagine myself on stage too.
0:43:51 > 0:43:53Lou? Can I have you over here a minute?
0:43:53 > 0:43:56Oh, shit, they've spotted me. I better go.
0:43:56 > 0:43:58- But I'll... I'll see you later. - Yeah.
0:43:58 > 0:44:01Nice to have met you.
0:44:03 > 0:44:04Bye.
0:44:04 > 0:44:07God, Frankie's advice obviously worked.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09I didn't do anything.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12- Exactly and you were in there. - Ed!
0:44:12 > 0:44:14Tess. You never notice when people like you.
0:44:14 > 0:44:18No lesbian would ever wear that cardigan.
0:44:18 > 0:44:21And what people?
0:44:21 > 0:44:23Just people, generally.
0:44:23 > 0:44:25And her.
0:44:27 > 0:44:28- You're an idiot!
0:44:51 > 0:44:54< I didn't expect to see you here.
0:44:54 > 0:45:00Well, I was in the area and I saw the funeral home and I thought I wonder if anyone I know has died.
0:45:00 > 0:45:02I called her.
0:45:02 > 0:45:04She's my cousin, she had a right to know.
0:45:04 > 0:45:08Well, then it's a shame you didn't turn up sooner,
0:45:08 > 0:45:10spend some time with your aunt before she died.
0:45:10 > 0:45:13No-one told me she was dying.
0:45:13 > 0:45:15We didn't know where you were.
0:45:15 > 0:45:19- You didn't want to know us any more. - And you wanted to know me?
0:45:19 > 0:45:23Contrary to what you think, Frankie, your aunt and I only ever wanted the best for you.
0:45:23 > 0:45:28Anyway, I haven't come here to argue. If that's what you want then I suggest you leave.
0:45:36 > 0:45:42- Aunt Carol wanted to tell me something before she died, do you know what it was?- You spoke to her?
0:45:42 > 0:45:47No, she left a message, but she said it was important.
0:45:47 > 0:45:50Your aunt was in a lot of pain toward the end.
0:45:50 > 0:45:52- She often wasn't lucid. - She sounded...
0:45:52 > 0:45:55If she had anything to say to you, she'd have told me.
0:46:55 > 0:46:56Hi. I wonder if you can help me.
0:46:56 > 0:47:00I'm looking for a blonde woman, twenties, tattoo?
0:47:00 > 0:47:02She's still here. Can you sign in, please.
0:47:04 > 0:47:06Don't you know it's illegal to stalk people?
0:47:06 > 0:47:09Jay told me about your aunt.
0:47:09 > 0:47:12What do you care?
0:47:12 > 0:47:15OK, you can be nice or I can leave. Your choice.
0:47:18 > 0:47:20Come on.
0:47:31 > 0:47:34I'm thinking curry and a large vat of wine.
0:47:34 > 0:47:37I'm liking your thinking.
0:47:37 > 0:47:39Hey, er, Tess!
0:47:39 > 0:47:43- Hang on! Sorry, I was just wondering if you fancied a drink? - OK! Um, well,
0:47:43 > 0:47:47- Ed and I were just going to get one if you want to join?- Oh, oh...
0:47:47 > 0:47:50I've just remembered I have to give... Cat that thing back.
0:47:50 > 0:47:53What thing?
0:47:53 > 0:47:57Oh, that thing... OK, well, if you're sure?
0:47:57 > 0:47:59- Yeah. You two have fun though.- Bye.
0:47:59 > 0:48:02- OK. Cool. - So? Where do you want to go?
0:48:02 > 0:48:06Um... Ah, there's...
0:48:06 > 0:48:09OK, I know a bar...
0:48:12 > 0:48:14I'm sorry, Frankie.
0:48:14 > 0:48:18I know you used to be close.
0:48:18 > 0:48:19I always liked her.
0:48:21 > 0:48:24Well, she was the only bearable member of the clan.
0:48:24 > 0:48:26She liked you, too.
0:48:32 > 0:48:36Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to come to the funeral.
0:48:40 > 0:48:42- If you don't want to, it's... - No, it's OK,
0:48:44 > 0:48:46I'd like to come.
0:48:49 > 0:48:53I can't believe we're burying her and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
0:48:53 > 0:48:57And you have no idea what she wanted to tell you?
0:48:58 > 0:49:01I asked my uncle and he said he didn't know.
0:49:03 > 0:49:06She was too terrified to breathe in case it pissed him off.
0:49:06 > 0:49:09Whatever it was, she was too scared to tell him.
0:49:09 > 0:49:11Imagine feeling like that.
0:49:11 > 0:49:13Yeah, I know.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18He was nicer to the dog than he was to her.
0:49:20 > 0:49:25Do you remember that time we got the munchies and ate all his posh birthday biscuits.
0:49:25 > 0:49:28I said the dog had eaten them.
0:49:30 > 0:49:33Wasn't that the first time we got stoned?
0:49:33 > 0:49:36Ed kept hanging around and we had to get rid of him in case he told on us.
0:49:36 > 0:49:39How old were you?
0:49:39 > 0:49:41Fourteen.
0:49:41 > 0:49:44I thought you were so cool cos you were older than me.
0:49:44 > 0:49:49I thought you were wild and dangerous cos you had drugs.
0:49:49 > 0:49:54- You were such a chicken, you kept thinking the neighbours would smell it and call the police.- I did not!
0:49:54 > 0:49:58Yeah, you did! You kept saying, do you think we'll do time for this?
0:49:58 > 0:50:03And then you came up holding that box of biscuits with a stupid grin on your face.
0:50:03 > 0:50:06I had to rip up the packet and stick it in the dog basket!
0:50:10 > 0:50:13Oh, God, it's good to see you.
0:50:13 > 0:50:18- I really missed you. - I missed you too.
0:50:22 > 0:50:26You never even told me you were going, Frankie.
0:50:26 > 0:50:28I called you.
0:50:28 > 0:50:31Three weeks later from New York.
0:50:31 > 0:50:33Do you have any idea...
0:50:36 > 0:50:38I should go.
0:50:38 > 0:50:40Oh, no, come on. Don't go.
0:50:40 > 0:50:42No, I have to get back. I've got plans.
0:50:45 > 0:50:47- Maybe another time?- Yeah, maybe.
0:51:02 > 0:51:05Oh, wait a minute, I know where I've seen you before.
0:51:05 > 0:51:06Casualty. A few weeks ago.
0:51:06 > 0:51:10You fell in love with your son's sick PE teacher.
0:51:10 > 0:51:12That really wasn't my finest hour.
0:51:12 > 0:51:17You were great when they turned off the life support and you were pleading not to.
0:51:17 > 0:51:22- I thought you were really moving. I bet you get your big break soon. - I don't know about that.
0:51:22 > 0:51:26I'm really sorry, I have to confess I...
0:51:26 > 0:51:29- I haven't seen Afternoons With Lou And Tom.- That's fine.
0:51:29 > 0:51:31It's not really what I want to do.
0:51:31 > 0:51:34I'd like to get into something a bit more serious.
0:51:37 > 0:51:39Do you want... do you want another drink?
0:51:39 > 0:51:42Yeah or, um... We...
0:51:44 > 0:51:47We could always go back to mine...
0:51:47 > 0:51:52cos I live near here, so... If you wanted to do that?
0:51:52 > 0:51:54Yeah, OK...
0:51:54 > 0:51:58- If you're sure?- Absolutely.
0:52:02 > 0:52:05I've thought of something you can help me with.
0:52:39 > 0:52:43You don't have a cigarette, do you?
0:52:43 > 0:52:47- Sorry, I gave up.- Yeah. Me too.
0:52:56 > 0:52:57Oh!
0:53:00 > 0:53:03- You OK, hen?- I can't find my purse.
0:53:12 > 0:53:16I can't talk to you right now, I've got someone here.
0:53:16 > 0:53:18That's none of your business.
0:53:18 > 0:53:21Look, like I said, I've got to go.
0:53:21 > 0:53:22I have to entertain my guest.
0:53:22 > 0:53:24Whatever.
0:53:28 > 0:53:30Are you sticking with white?
0:53:30 > 0:53:34Yeah. Great. Thanks. Ah! Is this one of these talking robots?
0:53:34 > 0:53:36Yeah, a friend of mine gave it to me.
0:53:38 > 0:53:43ROBOT: 'Commence invasion! Engage target. Annihilate!'
0:53:49 > 0:53:51I love these things!
0:53:51 > 0:53:52'Annihilate!'
0:53:59 > 0:54:01Does it say anything else?
0:54:01 > 0:54:05'Commence invasion. Engage target...'
0:54:05 > 0:54:07Oh!
0:54:07 > 0:54:10I've wanted to kiss a woman forever.
0:54:10 > 0:54:15- And you're gorgeous.- Oh, sorry.
0:54:15 > 0:54:19- It's OK, don't worry about it. - ROBOT: Annihilate!
0:54:19 > 0:54:21ROBOT BEEPS
0:54:21 > 0:54:24TOY SMASHES
0:54:24 > 0:54:25That should do it!
0:54:36 > 0:54:38Hello?
0:54:46 > 0:54:50Shit. Hello?
0:55:05 > 0:55:06Hello?
0:55:11 > 0:55:14FRENETIC BREATHING
0:55:14 > 0:55:17Oh, yeah! Go on...
0:55:17 > 0:55:19Ah! Oh, yeah!
0:55:19 > 0:55:21Ah!
0:55:27 > 0:55:30I bet he thinks he's died and gone to heaven.
0:55:57 > 0:56:01Ah, yeah!
0:56:01 > 0:56:06MOANING CONTINUES
0:56:28 > 0:56:30Are you OK?
0:56:30 > 0:56:32Yeah, I just gotta go.
0:56:34 > 0:56:36Well, can I have your number?
0:56:36 > 0:56:39Take it from me, you really don't want it.
0:57:12 > 0:57:15You haven't been written out of history like I have.
0:57:15 > 0:57:17Outside now!
0:57:17 > 0:57:20Tess, you wouldn't be able to tell anyone about us.
0:57:20 > 0:57:24Jesus! What the fuck are you doing?!
0:57:24 > 0:57:29- I was a nightmare date, and it isn't a crime not to fancy someone. - I never said I didn't fancy you.
0:57:29 > 0:57:31You're not seriously interested in a cop, are you?
0:57:31 > 0:57:33So you know I'm going on a date?
0:57:33 > 0:57:36But you thought you'd just turn up anyway?
0:57:39 > 0:57:42Subtitles by Red Bee Media
0:57:42 > 0:57:47E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk