0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains strong language and scenes of a sexual nature.
0:00:06 > 0:00:11- I found these keys last time I was here. Are they yours? - Never seen them before.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14And who's Alma Carter? Is she my mother?
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Alma Carter's not interested. She didn't want you.
0:00:17 > 0:00:18Who's that then?
0:00:18 > 0:00:20It's Hayley, the fit intern.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23She's been flirting with me non stop. Hayley?
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Tell her to take the day off tomorrow, right? And ring me.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29I had to fire her. You recommended her. She's your protege.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31- I'm Tess, Chloe's ex. Who the hell are you?- Shona.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Were you seeing her before you finished with me?
0:00:37 > 0:00:38Is there anything I need to worry about?
0:00:38 > 0:00:41You... you and Frankie, you go back a long way...
0:00:41 > 0:00:44She's a friend, that's all.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47Is there someone? Anyone?
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Cat... It's always been Cat.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Oh, my god!
0:02:51 > 0:02:55Oh! Oh, god!
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Morning.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27I think I love you...
0:03:31 > 0:03:32I'm sorry.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34No...
0:03:35 > 0:03:37I like it.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53Do you just like it, hm?
0:03:53 > 0:03:54Or...
0:03:56 > 0:03:58I need to go to work.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16I feel your heat, but cannot touch.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18A lonely moon orbiting the sun.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20The gravity between us,
0:04:20 > 0:04:24The only thing stopping me from falling back to earth...
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Audition script? Sorry.
0:04:35 > 0:04:36I wish. No, it's Ed's book.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Well, first draft. It's really good.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42- You sound surprised.- Well, I'm not, but I mean, really good,
0:04:42 > 0:04:45like a proper book you'd pay money for and everything.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48It's about these two scientists working on a space station...
0:04:48 > 0:04:52and he really loves her but he can't do anything about it because she might
0:04:52 > 0:04:56be from this race of aliens they're researching and he might be a robot.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- It's brilliant.- Brilliant...
0:05:01 > 0:05:03So, um...
0:05:03 > 0:05:07did you and Jay stay up long after I crashed?
0:05:07 > 0:05:08Not really.
0:05:08 > 0:05:14Cos I got up in the middle of the night to get a drink and...
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- You saw.- I couldn't help it.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20- Yeah, well, it was nothing. - It was Jay! He's a man! He's...
0:05:20 > 0:05:24- he's got, like, bits.- It's just like a strap-on without the strap.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Aagh! What...
0:05:27 > 0:05:29- but what about Becky? - How's she going to find out?
0:05:29 > 0:05:35- Well, I won't tell her.- Neither am I, and I doubt Jay's going to be shouting it from the rooftops.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38- We were drunk, it felt like a good idea at the time.- All right.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41As long as you're not going all hasbian on me.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03- Becky throw you out early or something?- No, no.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05I didn't stay there last night. Thanks.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07- Everything all right?- Uh-hum.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10I just thought you two were in training for domestic bliss.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16When did you know? That you loved her?
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- Why you asking me that? - When does anyone know?
0:06:21 > 0:06:24You're a keeper, you tell me.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Morning.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33How's the hangover?
0:06:35 > 0:06:37All right, yeah. I think I...
0:06:37 > 0:06:42got away with it. I just got to go... photocopy these things.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45I didn't expect you in today.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51- You walked in on them? - No, the door was open. - They're actually having an affair?
0:06:51 > 0:06:54No! Apparently it was just a one night thing.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Has Frankie always been...
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Well, she's always been out with girls but I know she's fucked
0:06:59 > 0:07:01- a couple of guys here and there. - Is that...
0:07:01 > 0:07:03I mean, have you ever?
0:07:03 > 0:07:07And Jay? Jay'd probably fuck you if you had tits.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09What is this?
0:07:09 > 0:07:10Early birthday present.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Argh, you remembered.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14- But you're not allowed to open it. - I'm going to open it!
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Ah!
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Ah, that's so sweet!
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Thank you.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28- It's you and me, Mykonos '08!- Yeah.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Look at your pasty little chest.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35So what we doing for it?
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Er, there's not much to celebrate.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39It's your 30th!
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Exactly.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45By now I was supposed to be guesting onstage having already built up a Hollywood fan base.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49Instead it's like I'm in some shit version of Groundhog Day.
0:07:49 > 0:07:50It's not that bad.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Well. So we're what, successful?
0:07:53 > 0:07:54There's no point dressing it up.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57But what am I doing about it? What are you doing about it?
0:07:57 > 0:08:00- You've got this great book... - Did you read it?- Yeah.
0:08:00 > 0:08:01- And?- It's brilliant.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05But instead of getting it out there you're here drinking tea.
0:08:05 > 0:08:11Where's the drive, the bloody-minded determination to push your life to the next level?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13I've sent it off.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Oh!
0:08:15 > 0:08:18- Well done.- Just to some agents.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22I was going to ask if yours had a literary division, actually.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25No. I don't think so. Um...
0:08:25 > 0:08:30I mean, I could ask? I was going to pop in today actually,
0:08:30 > 0:08:32big push and all that...
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- Hey.- Hey.
0:08:52 > 0:08:58I'm sorry about last night, the police and everything. It's no excuse...
0:08:58 > 0:09:03- I saw my Uncle after you gave me Alma's details.- And what'd he say?
0:09:05 > 0:09:06That she didn't want me.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13So she is your mother?
0:09:15 > 0:09:16Yeah.
0:09:18 > 0:09:24- What now?- I don't know. It's not like I've got any way of finding her even if she wanted to be found.
0:09:24 > 0:09:29Well, if you do get another lead, try leaving me a message instead of going nuclear.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33Yeah, speak to you later. Well...
0:09:33 > 0:09:36nice to see you two getting on again.
0:09:36 > 0:09:41The site is an old school but the developers are doing an appraisal to turn it into flats.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43- They've asked us for our input. - No way...
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Don't worry, the orphans have all been rehoused.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49No. This is where we went.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54- You were schoolgirls together? - Yeah, uniforms and everything.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57We were a couple of years apart.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00I wouldn't mind going back. I could take some pictures.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03The brochure's almost done. You just need to choose the photos that you want.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05I'll do the school as part of the same fee.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07That's really not necessary...
0:10:07 > 0:10:10No, hang on! Anything that improves the pitch...
0:10:10 > 0:10:14Unless you think your personal feelings could cloud your judgement again.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17- They won't.- Right. Perfect.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20I'll expect something on my desk when I get back from Germany then.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22What's his problem?
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Doesn't matter.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28I had it in my head that I wanted a fry up.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32So I went to this all-night cafe, fell asleep, and by the time I woke up it was time to come in...
0:10:32 > 0:10:37- Really?- Here, I'll phone the estate agents right now.- No, you won't, cos we're not doing it.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Becks?
0:10:41 > 0:10:43I want you.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47All this stuff can wait till we're both ready, OK?
0:10:50 > 0:10:54- But don't think going AWOL's the way to get round me... - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58I love you, OK?
0:11:01 > 0:11:04I want what you want. I promise.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14- I'll see you later.- Bye.
0:11:17 > 0:11:18See you.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31- Hey.- What are you doing?
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Nicotine?
0:11:33 > 0:11:35- Right.- Jay!
0:11:37 > 0:11:41- It was only a fuck. - Listen. It was a fucking mistake.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Yeah, well, it was both of us. I didn't have to twist your dick.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46I just want to forget about this, OK?
0:11:46 > 0:11:48- I already have.- Hello!
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- Hey. - Hands up if your head hurts today.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Yeah. What you doing here?
0:11:54 > 0:11:56I wanted to talk about Tess' birthday.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Is my sister around?
0:12:00 > 0:12:01I could get a new haircut.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04Like a pixie bob, accentuate my cheekbones, fringe over the wrinkles?
0:12:04 > 0:12:07It isn't as if I haven't been trying for you, Tess, but...
0:12:07 > 0:12:12- I know.- You have seen most of the casting directors in Scotland.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15And?
0:12:15 > 0:12:17And the feedback I get is...
0:12:17 > 0:12:20you have a tendency to...
0:12:20 > 0:12:22What?
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Too physical? I don't project enough?
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Be a little negative.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30- What?- You did cry at audition.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34- Once! - Then there was the balcony incident at the Shakespeare workshop.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Romeo had a hard-on!
0:12:38 > 0:12:40So what do I do, Saphia?
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Cheer up.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44You're an actress...
0:12:44 > 0:12:49contort your face into a smile and be happy!
0:12:49 > 0:12:51PHONE RINGS
0:12:51 > 0:12:52Hello?
0:12:52 > 0:12:56Er, yes, I'm just finishing with a client...
0:12:57 > 0:13:01- Oh, Tess...smile.- OK!
0:13:04 > 0:13:06- She said she didn't want a fuss. - She always says that.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09But I think that's what she needs after Lou.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13- Yeah, well, you are the Tess expert. - What are you thinking?- Surprise...
0:13:13 > 0:13:16The Dykes of Hazard.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Friday night at Gravity.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Country and western.
0:13:21 > 0:13:26- Tess does love it.- It's got Kenny Rogered, Billy Gay Cyrus...
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Playing to a bunch of hen nights in stetsons...
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- Yeah, and how are we going to get her down there without her realising? - Why not do it at my flat?
0:13:32 > 0:13:35It's not like we haven't got the space.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37As long as it doesn't get too messy again.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Messy how?
0:13:40 > 0:13:42The...flat warming last night...
0:13:42 > 0:13:43- Tess puked.- I passed out.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45You'd have hated it.
0:13:47 > 0:13:52- What do you think I am? That sounds exactly what you'd want from a party!- Yeah, exactly.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Tess has been going on about the local.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56- I could take her down there while you guys set up.- Or I could?
0:13:56 > 0:13:59I mean, I already talked to her about doing something...
0:13:59 > 0:14:02so if you guys say you're busy, if she does try to make other plans,
0:14:02 > 0:14:05- then she'll have no other option. - Fine.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16You all right?
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Yeah, it's just...
0:14:19 > 0:14:23Hayley. I feel like if I'd looked out for her a bit more she might still be in a job.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25She's a big girl, Cat.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28- Someone gave her the ketamine. - She didn't say who?
0:14:28 > 0:14:32She wouldn't tell me. She thinks I'm like a teacher or something.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36- You always were a bit of a girl scout.- Thanks.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38No, in a good way!
0:14:38 > 0:14:39How's it good?
0:14:39 > 0:14:41You think about stuff,
0:14:41 > 0:14:44you don't just dive in.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Maybe a bit too much sometimes.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50But...at least it means you make good decisions.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53You do the right thing.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55I wish I was a bit more like that sometimes.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03PHONE RINGS
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Jesus, I remember it being even bigger than this.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27I think we were just smaller. Well, I was.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31I remember you being pretty well developed.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33I think you should get some pictures.
0:15:57 > 0:15:58Oh, God...
0:15:58 > 0:16:00So you remember?
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Course I remember.
0:16:03 > 0:16:07Every break time, you were up there writing 'lyrics'.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11Only cos I knew your registration room was down there.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14I used to get this great view down your shirt.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16We used to wear skirts too remember?
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Worked both ways.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28I can't believe they're still here.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31You were watching way too much Cell Block H.
0:16:31 > 0:16:32I was trying to impress you!
0:16:32 > 0:16:35It was my first time in detention.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37I thought it's what you did!
0:16:37 > 0:16:42- You were in here more than you were in class, you should've stopped me if it was so lame.- It wasn't lame...
0:16:42 > 0:16:45I quite like having our names up there together.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47You thought you were so cool.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53What was it? "What you in for? Mine's the usual, smoking."
0:16:53 > 0:16:56It was better than yours! What was it? Flashing the PE teacher or something?
0:16:56 > 0:16:59I was campaigning for girls to be able to wear shorts.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02It was a political protest!
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Mum went mental when she found out.
0:17:04 > 0:17:09Marching in accusing the school of quashing free speech. It was so embarrassing.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13Well, that was one thing I never had to worry about.
0:17:13 > 0:17:18Whatever happened with your mum... we don't know the circumstances.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21- She was young...- She's not any more.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Give us a drag then.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31- You've given up! - Just for old times' sake.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35- Cat!- What? It's not like I'm taking up dick again, is it?
0:17:50 > 0:17:53This is the part where you're supposed to cough your lungs up.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Dib, dib, dib.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04- No! No evidence! No evidence!- Get your hand out!
0:18:23 > 0:18:26It's sad it has to change...
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Yeah?
0:18:28 > 0:18:31I thought you were all for leaving the past behind...
0:18:31 > 0:18:33ALARM RINGS
0:18:34 > 0:18:37You did put that fag out, didn't you?
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Shit!
0:18:46 > 0:18:48DIALLING TONE
0:18:49 > 0:18:51ENGAGED TONE
0:18:53 > 0:18:54I can't get through.
0:18:54 > 0:18:58He's going to go ballistic when he gets back from Germany.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00They say it's mostly just smoke damage.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04The insurers'll have a field day.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15It's not funny.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19I'm not exactly employee of the month after all this intern shit.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Yeah. That wasn't your fault.
0:19:21 > 0:19:26Everything's my fault since he found out I like girls as opposed to middle-aged fat men in suits...
0:19:26 > 0:19:31Two months ago he was talking about making me partner, now he's looking to demote me and I give him this.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35Yeah, it wasn't your fault, Cat.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38It was Jay. Jay gave Hayley the gear.
0:19:38 > 0:19:44I helped him cover it up at the time but I didn't realise it would put you in the shit.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48What... what was he even doing with her?
0:19:50 > 0:19:52I don't think anything happened.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Only because she passed out!
0:19:59 > 0:20:02I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't want to grass him up.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05I'm not blaming you.
0:20:05 > 0:20:06Bloody Jay!
0:20:15 > 0:20:21- So I get this call, and it's this specialist sci-fi agency asking if I 'do lunch'!?- That was quick.
0:20:21 > 0:20:25It was the main guy as well. The company's named after him!
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Amazing...
0:20:27 > 0:20:31- I wonder if he'll have picked up on the same flaws I did.- Flaws?
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Yeah.
0:20:33 > 0:20:37- Like, it's brilliant and everything but the main guy, whatsisname?- Sorin.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Yeah. Why doesn't he just like, go for it with her?
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Well, that's kind-of the point.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44He can't...her species forbids it.
0:20:44 > 0:20:49Well, he should. Like, it's better than floating round space wondering what might have been.
0:20:51 > 0:20:52But would she...reciprocate?
0:20:52 > 0:20:56Well, you're the writer. Make it happen.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Right, I make it shots o'clock.
0:20:58 > 0:20:59Actually I'm going to leave it.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02I want to have a clear head tomorrow for this meeting.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05But it's Wednesday! We always do shots o'clock on a Wednesday.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Well, I'm having shots o'clock.
0:21:13 > 0:21:18Oh, and I was thinking I probably should do something for my birthday.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Why the change of heart?
0:21:21 > 0:21:23- Oh, it's my meeting... - Oh, yeah? It went well?
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Yeah.
0:21:25 > 0:21:30Yeah, it turns out, um... she still thought I was doing the runner's job,
0:21:30 > 0:21:34- and now there's like a whole backlog of auditions.- Awesome!
0:21:35 > 0:21:39So I was thinking we could check out your new local?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Hm, I wonder if it should be something bigger.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45Like, really celebrate. I'll speak to the others and see what they think.
0:21:45 > 0:21:46Course, yeah. Go for it.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Thanks for all your help.
0:22:12 > 0:22:17Like we never left. Listen, don't worry about Alistair. It'll be fine.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Uh. Looks like you've got company.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23- I'll see you tomorrow.- Yeah.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39- Hey.- Clarice let you off with a caution then?
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- Yeah.- Couldn't get you on the phone.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Just wanted to make sure you were all right after yesterday?
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Yeah, I'm fine. Busy day.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50I didn't even make it into work.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53I can barely remember anything that happened last night.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55It's probably for the best.
0:23:04 > 0:23:11- You coming up?- Yeah?- I was only planning an early night but you can come up for an hour or so.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15I think I'll leave you to it. Maybe another time.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17All right.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Whatever you think.
0:23:19 > 0:23:20Night.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Honey, I'm home!
0:23:40 > 0:23:41Hey.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- You smell of smoke... - Oh, I had a meeting on site.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48You know what builders are like...
0:23:48 > 0:23:49That smells amazing!
0:23:49 > 0:23:53You know, when I was younger I used to have this fantasy about Bewitched.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55- The girl band? - No, I had that one too.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57No, I mean the old TV show.
0:23:57 > 0:24:03Where the witch marries a human and then she turns into the perfect '50s housewife?
0:24:03 > 0:24:07Are you seriously telling me that this does it for you?
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Uh-hum. Each to their own.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30DOOR OPENS
0:24:30 > 0:24:32You're not fucking anyone are you?
0:24:32 > 0:24:34No. Come in...
0:24:36 > 0:24:39- You all right?- Yeah, fine.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42I was just wondering, are you doing anything on Friday night?
0:24:42 > 0:24:44I was thinking of doing something for my birthday.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48- Shit. Sorry, I said I'd work.- Ah!- I can try and get out of it, though.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50No, no, no, it's OK!
0:24:50 > 0:24:52I wasn't going to do anything big.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55- Sure?- Yeah, yeah. It's fine.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Happy, happy!
0:24:57 > 0:25:00So I bumped into Ed earlier...
0:25:00 > 0:25:05What, signing books in Waterstones, was he?
0:25:05 > 0:25:08It seems he knows about me and Jay...
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Ah!
0:25:10 > 0:25:12You didn't seem that bothered earlier...
0:25:12 > 0:25:15It's fine. But you got to tell him it can't go any further.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19- OK.- It could really mess things up for Jay and Becky.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23No, I'm serious.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26- All right.- Cool.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30I didn't know you'd taken up boxing...
0:25:30 > 0:25:33- What?- FG Boxing.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37I auditioned for a self defence radio ad but apparently I don't even sound fit.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15I didn't hear a fucking bell!
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Get back to work!
0:26:17 > 0:26:21- Can I help?- This place just for boys or can anyone join in?
0:26:21 > 0:26:25We do girls too... some of them are uglier than the boys though.
0:26:25 > 0:26:26So how'd you hear about us?
0:26:26 > 0:26:29My flatmate has these.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37- They work here?- I don't know.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41This is a staff keyring.
0:26:41 > 0:26:45I can't believe you stood there letting me take the flak while
0:26:45 > 0:26:48- you're the one doling out ketamine in the first place.- I'm sorry.
0:26:48 > 0:26:53- What about Becky?- What about her? - I thought you were leaving all that snatch-hound shit behind...
0:26:53 > 0:26:57- I was! I am!- Then what were you doing in the toilets with Hayley? - Listen, you can talk!
0:26:57 > 0:27:01Back to school with Frankie, strolling down memory lane behind Sam's back.
0:27:01 > 0:27:06- I was working!- Would Sam see it like that?- I am happy with Sam!
0:27:06 > 0:27:07I'd never go back!
0:27:17 > 0:27:23She gave you head, made you breakfast and went to work.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25What's the problem?
0:27:25 > 0:27:27I just...
0:27:27 > 0:27:29I don't want to scare her off.
0:27:29 > 0:27:33- I...she's been a bit distant. - Do you think it's the ex?
0:27:36 > 0:27:38I just think you're being paranoid.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42- Yeah?- You like this one, right?
0:27:43 > 0:27:45A lot.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49- I didn't need to tell her though.- I tell women I love them all the time.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Yeah, that's when you're trying to fuck them.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54What if they said it to you?
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Mm.
0:27:57 > 0:28:01Saying I love you's like a gun fight.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03If you draw first, you'd better not miss.
0:28:08 > 0:28:13Girls' group classes are Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays.
0:28:13 > 0:28:14You should check it out,
0:28:14 > 0:28:16they'll love you.
0:28:19 > 0:28:24- All right?- Yeah, sorry. Could you...
0:28:24 > 0:28:28- could you get me a glass of water? - Yeah, no problem. Back in a bit.
0:28:53 > 0:28:56PHONE RINGS
0:29:08 > 0:29:11- Hello?- Hi, Catflaps, it's me.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14Erm, what are you doing on Friday night?
0:29:14 > 0:29:16- Me and Sam have got gig tickets.- Ah.
0:29:16 > 0:29:19Why's that?
0:29:19 > 0:29:22- Erm, er, it's nothing. - Really?- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:29:22 > 0:29:25It's just I haven't seen you much since I moved out, but another time.
0:29:25 > 0:29:29- How's Sam?- Yeah...good. Good.
0:29:29 > 0:29:33You two must be loving it without me there.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36Sex in the bath, sex on the sofa, rubbish in the bin.
0:29:36 > 0:29:42- Yeah, she's, er... really making herself at home. - Don't sound too enthusiastic!
0:29:42 > 0:29:45No, no, I am. I am. It's just...
0:29:45 > 0:29:49you don't want to hear about all this happy-clappy couply stuff.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51Why not?
0:29:51 > 0:29:54I don't know. Just...
0:29:54 > 0:29:57- How's the new place working out? - Yeah, good...
0:30:00 > 0:30:02Great view.
0:30:02 > 0:30:06- Frankie not keeping you up all night with Sadie?- Not really.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09- No?- Why you asking?- No reason.
0:30:09 > 0:30:13So, look, I'm sorry again about Friday. I'll make it up to you, OK?
0:30:13 > 0:30:15Oh, no, no. It's... it's OK. Look, I'll, um...
0:30:15 > 0:30:17I'll speak to you later. Yeah, bye.
0:30:27 > 0:30:30Hi!
0:30:30 > 0:30:33Erm, I just... I've just moved in next door.
0:30:35 > 0:30:39Um, haven't we met before?
0:30:39 > 0:30:45- Maybe.- Um, well, this is going to sound really weird but, um...
0:30:45 > 0:30:49I was wondering if, um...do, er...
0:30:50 > 0:30:56Er, if...do you know any decent electricians in the area?
0:30:56 > 0:31:00Um, my lights have just gone out...
0:31:00 > 0:31:02TV, radio, everything!
0:31:02 > 0:31:04You're in luck.
0:31:04 > 0:31:06I'm a spark.
0:31:08 > 0:31:11Right, um...
0:31:11 > 0:31:15Um, you really don't have to do this...
0:31:15 > 0:31:17I don't mind.
0:31:20 > 0:31:22That's weird. Um...
0:31:22 > 0:31:26this was all not working a minute ago. Er...
0:31:26 > 0:31:27MACHINE BEEPS
0:31:29 > 0:31:31It's probably just your breaker.
0:31:31 > 0:31:33- Right...- It's a little box?
0:31:33 > 0:31:37Usually up high, or built into your fittings. Do you mind if I just...
0:31:37 > 0:31:40No, no, go ahead. And I'll just, um...
0:31:40 > 0:31:42- Is it a little box, did you say?- Mm.
0:31:47 > 0:31:50This is really kind of you.
0:31:50 > 0:31:51PHONE RINGS
0:31:51 > 0:31:55- Oh, um...- Do you want me to? - Yeah, yeah...thanks.
0:31:59 > 0:32:00Hello?
0:32:00 > 0:32:03Yeah, yeah, can I ask who's calling?
0:32:03 > 0:32:07- Chloe?- Um...oh, it's just...
0:32:07 > 0:32:09- it's my ex...- Ex...
0:32:09 > 0:32:11- flatmate.- Girlfriend.
0:32:18 > 0:32:20- Thanks.- I can go...
0:32:20 > 0:32:22No, no, no...no! Um...
0:32:22 > 0:32:28yeah, this really isn't a good time, er, my neighbour, um, I just...
0:32:28 > 0:32:31- Your breaker's fine by the way. - Er, um...
0:32:31 > 0:32:36no, no, no. Wait! You, erm...
0:32:36 > 0:32:37oh, no!
0:32:39 > 0:32:41What do you want?
0:33:28 > 0:33:29It's the same guy I met with Jay.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32His name's Darren Morris, I recognise his picture.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35If he's lying about the keyring, he could be connected to my past.
0:33:35 > 0:33:36Are you going to go back?
0:33:38 > 0:33:40Be careful.
0:33:42 > 0:33:43So, this one?
0:33:43 > 0:33:46Mm, do you think Tess'll be able to work the buttons?
0:33:46 > 0:33:49It's the future.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51Don't tell me you're still using Milo?
0:33:51 > 0:33:53- What's wrong with Milo?- It rattled!
0:33:53 > 0:33:56I'm surprised you could hear it over your sound effects?!
0:33:59 > 0:34:02Um, do you reckon they giftwrap?
0:34:05 > 0:34:08PHONE RINGS
0:34:09 > 0:34:12Hiya... OK, we'll head back.
0:34:12 > 0:34:14Thanks.
0:34:14 > 0:34:16Alistair's landed.
0:34:21 > 0:34:23Well, she sounded kind-of nervous
0:34:23 > 0:34:27but she said she wanted to meet up in person to tell me something big.
0:34:27 > 0:34:30You don't think she wants to get back together, do you?
0:34:30 > 0:34:32Dunno.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35- But you wouldn't, would you?- No.
0:34:35 > 0:34:41- Not after everything she put you through?- God, no! I'd tell her to piss right off.
0:34:41 > 0:34:45Um, but the way, you didn't say anything to anyone about the Jay and Frankie thing, did you?
0:34:45 > 0:34:47- No.- Good. Cos you mustn't.
0:34:47 > 0:34:49What do you think I am?
0:34:49 > 0:34:51Well, Frankie said you almost let it slip...
0:34:51 > 0:34:54I shouldn't have even told you!
0:34:54 > 0:34:58- She's unbelievable. Thinking she can just make up the rules.- What rules?
0:34:58 > 0:35:03Well, what is she? Is she les? Bi? Straight?
0:35:03 > 0:35:06Well, isn't that a bit out of date?
0:35:06 > 0:35:08- Yeah, but it matters!- Does it?
0:35:08 > 0:35:12Doesn't it? I mean, they do say sexuality's more of a fluid thing.
0:35:12 > 0:35:16Well, I don't really want to think about the fluids.
0:35:16 > 0:35:20No, but less black and white, more of a spectrum.
0:35:20 > 0:35:24Well, I guess we are all just people...
0:35:24 > 0:35:26bodies and stuff.
0:35:26 > 0:35:28Exactly!
0:35:28 > 0:35:33So, technically anyone can love anyone?
0:35:33 > 0:35:34Yeah, I guess.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41It was an accident.
0:35:41 > 0:35:44But it's not the first one you've had this month, is it?
0:35:44 > 0:35:46I don't know what's distracting you...
0:35:46 > 0:35:49But if your mind's not on the job then I'll have to seriously
0:35:49 > 0:35:51reconsider your position within this company.
0:35:51 > 0:35:54- I'm so sorry.- It was my fault! Cat was outside.
0:35:54 > 0:35:58- She had nothing to do with it. - Frankie...- Look, it was stupid.
0:35:58 > 0:36:02But if Cat took responsibility for every stupid thing I'd done she'd be sectioned.
0:36:02 > 0:36:04Maybe that's what the issue is here. Responsibility.
0:36:04 > 0:36:07If she can't look after a photographer, let alone an intern.
0:36:07 > 0:36:11- Well, that was me as well.- What?
0:36:11 > 0:36:13I gave Hayley the ketamine.
0:36:13 > 0:36:15Right. Get out!
0:36:15 > 0:36:17Yeah, my pleasure.
0:36:19 > 0:36:21How much of this did you know about?
0:36:21 > 0:36:24I did warn you about her.
0:36:24 > 0:36:28Sorry... Dildo.
0:36:28 > 0:36:29What the?
0:36:33 > 0:36:36# Don't leave the house today
0:36:36 > 0:36:38# I've got the fear
0:36:39 > 0:36:41# You'll be stolen by bandits
0:36:41 > 0:36:43# And taken far from here
0:36:44 > 0:36:46# They'll put you in a cage
0:36:47 > 0:36:49# Made of skeleton bones
0:36:50 > 0:36:52# I get a ransom call
0:36:53 > 0:36:55# On my telephone, uh-oh
0:36:55 > 0:36:58# We don't have that kind of money
0:36:58 > 0:37:00# We don't have that kind of bread. #
0:37:01 > 0:37:04- Ah! Thanks for coming.- It's fine.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14You're looking...good.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17- It's BOTOX.- BOTOX?
0:37:17 > 0:37:21We're not going to stay looking young forever. You should think about it.
0:37:21 > 0:37:23Happy Birthday, Tess.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25So...
0:37:25 > 0:37:28that isn't what you wanted to see me for?
0:37:28 > 0:37:31- Sorry.- No, no, it's OK.
0:37:31 > 0:37:33I'd rather forget about it too.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38So, what did you want?
0:37:38 > 0:37:41Well...
0:37:41 > 0:37:43we did go out for quite a long time, didn't we?
0:37:45 > 0:37:48- Yeah.- And that's got to count for something...
0:37:48 > 0:37:50no matter what happened towards the end.
0:37:50 > 0:37:52I suppose...
0:37:52 > 0:37:56I'm not looking for your approval or permission or anything,
0:37:56 > 0:38:00but you're still a significant person in my life...
0:38:02 > 0:38:06You remember Shona from Spanish?
0:38:06 > 0:38:09- Yeah...- We're getting married.
0:38:10 > 0:38:14Aargh!
0:38:14 > 0:38:19I know you were never keen on the whole civil partnership thing but I felt you had the right to know.
0:38:19 > 0:38:22You were never that keen on monogamy with me! You've...
0:38:22 > 0:38:24you've only been with her six months!
0:38:24 > 0:38:25It's eight months.
0:38:25 > 0:38:28You're just bitter because I'm moving on with my life.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31What? Settling down with the bride of Frankenstein?
0:38:31 > 0:38:33Off to the sperm bank with your turkey baster?
0:38:33 > 0:38:36- I should've known you can't be happy for me.- Yeah.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39You can't be happy for anyone cos you're miserable and negative
0:38:39 > 0:38:43and think it's funny you're a loser. That's why I dumped you.
0:38:43 > 0:38:47But at least I respected you enough to want to speak to you in person. Clearly I was wrong.
0:38:47 > 0:38:49- Clearly you were.- Bye, Tess.
0:38:49 > 0:38:51- Have a nice life. - Yeah, send me some cake.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55PHONE RINGS
0:39:02 > 0:39:04Happy Birthday! Woop woop!
0:39:04 > 0:39:07Guess what, I've got an agent!
0:39:07 > 0:39:11Even bought me lunch. With champagne. Lots of champagne.
0:39:11 > 0:39:14I'll tell you about it in the pub. Don't be late.
0:39:14 > 0:39:16So... talk me through these new changes.
0:39:16 > 0:39:18The astronaut bangs the alien, right?
0:39:18 > 0:39:22Well, it's more of a happy ending really...
0:39:51 > 0:39:53# I said I don't know... #
0:40:05 > 0:40:06Yes, you bloody will!
0:40:06 > 0:40:08Listen to me!
0:40:08 > 0:40:10Yes, you bloody will!
0:40:12 > 0:40:14DOOR OPENS
0:40:14 > 0:40:16- Look, she's... - This is going to come back on you.
0:40:16 > 0:40:17Back on you big time!
0:40:32 > 0:40:35I recognise his car.
0:40:35 > 0:40:37You didn't knock after that?
0:40:37 > 0:40:41If those two know each other then fuck knows what I'm walking into.
0:40:43 > 0:40:47Do you want me to see if Sam can look up this Darren Morris?
0:40:47 > 0:40:49No.
0:40:49 > 0:40:52God, it's no wonder I'm such a fuck up.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55You're not a fuck up.
0:40:55 > 0:40:56I am.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58OK, you are, but...
0:41:01 > 0:41:03But what?
0:41:03 > 0:41:05Tell me...
0:41:13 > 0:41:17You know, you're the only one who's ever really known me.
0:41:25 > 0:41:30I should go. Sam's coming to mine before the party.
0:41:30 > 0:41:32Yeah.
0:41:32 > 0:41:33Course she is.
0:41:36 > 0:41:38I'll see you there then.
0:42:02 > 0:42:05Where am I going to get a cowboy outfit at this type of notice?
0:42:05 > 0:42:07Pigtails, blusher.
0:42:07 > 0:42:09Sexy Pocahontas.
0:42:11 > 0:42:14Is this a party or a role play?
0:42:14 > 0:42:15Bit of both...
0:42:17 > 0:42:20I didn't think you wanted to know after the other day.
0:42:24 > 0:42:26I've been having family problems.
0:42:26 > 0:42:28Who hasn't?
0:42:30 > 0:42:32So, are you coming then?
0:42:34 > 0:42:37Tell me you want me there.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42I want you there.
0:42:59 > 0:43:03You were supposed to be here 20 minutes ago, we're going to be late.
0:43:03 > 0:43:05I missed you too.
0:43:05 > 0:43:07Where've you been?
0:43:07 > 0:43:12I got ambushed by my landlady. It looks like I'm going to have to find somewhere else to live.
0:43:12 > 0:43:15- Are you all right? - I didn't say anything.
0:43:15 > 0:43:17You didn't have to.
0:43:17 > 0:43:19I'm fine.
0:43:19 > 0:43:25You've just been a little bit off with me over the last couple of days, that's all.
0:43:25 > 0:43:27Sorry.
0:43:27 > 0:43:31I've just had a really busy week.
0:43:31 > 0:43:35- It's my best friend's surprise party, I don't want to be late.- Yeah.
0:44:00 > 0:44:01Ye-ha!
0:44:01 > 0:44:05Lady Luck must be a dyke. I love this place!
0:44:05 > 0:44:07What can I say? I'm a rent girl.
0:44:07 > 0:44:12I could probably help you find somewhere bigger than Jay's if you want...mates rates, no strings.
0:44:14 > 0:44:16- BUZZER RINGS - Oh, that might be Tess.
0:44:16 > 0:44:19How does she know what your place looks like?
0:44:19 > 0:44:22I don't know.
0:44:29 > 0:44:32- Hey, cowgirl.- Hey, cowboy.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39- Sheriff...- All right?
0:44:55 > 0:44:59- Nice place. - Yeah, shame about the freeloaders.
0:45:10 > 0:45:13- Drink?- Thanks.
0:45:15 > 0:45:16I'll sort this out.
0:45:16 > 0:45:18OK.
0:45:25 > 0:45:27Is she the one that stole my necklace?
0:45:27 > 0:45:30- What?- Sadie.- She gave it back.
0:45:37 > 0:45:43Well, if you want Sadie, at least act like it. Cat's taken. Get over it.
0:45:48 > 0:45:50You told her what I said to you?
0:45:50 > 0:45:54I didn't have to. Listen, don't try too hard, all right?
0:45:54 > 0:45:57Cat told me she's more than happy with Sam and that's that.
0:45:59 > 0:46:01I'm sorry.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29- Wait, wait...- What?
0:46:44 > 0:46:47I'm just going to see where the birthday girl is. Yep.
0:46:47 > 0:46:51# Without you I'm just not myself
0:46:53 > 0:46:55I was here on time but there's no sign of her...
0:46:55 > 0:46:57No...
0:46:57 > 0:46:59Oh, hold on...
0:47:04 > 0:47:06Tess!
0:47:08 > 0:47:11Who are you supposed to be? Jackie Onassis on an ASBO?
0:47:13 > 0:47:14What happened to you?
0:47:15 > 0:47:19BOTOX. It was a birthday treat. But I had a reaction.
0:47:19 > 0:47:20It doesn't look that bad.
0:47:20 > 0:47:23- I'm not going out. - Come on, it's your birthday.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25- There's nothing to celebrate!- Tess!
0:47:25 > 0:47:27Chloe's getting married!
0:47:27 > 0:47:31At least it wasn't to tell you she had Chlamydia.
0:47:31 > 0:47:35- Hey! Whoa, Tess...- What? - Good riddance to her.
0:47:35 > 0:47:40Yeah, but why does she have to ride off into the sunset while I accelerate into a lonely grave?
0:47:40 > 0:47:44- Hey, you've got loads of friends. - Yeah, but not tonight though, eh?
0:47:44 > 0:47:46All too busy...
0:47:46 > 0:47:49- That's not true.- Yes, it is.
0:47:49 > 0:47:51- I'm sorry.- Hey.
0:48:00 > 0:48:04Sorry. I can't even fucking cry properly.
0:48:04 > 0:48:06- Arrgh.- Ssh.
0:48:06 > 0:48:08Who cares about Chloe?
0:48:08 > 0:48:11Everything else is great. You've got loads of auditions.
0:48:11 > 0:48:13No, I haven't.
0:48:13 > 0:48:20I lied. But I couldn't tell you because you were doing so well.
0:48:20 > 0:48:23Tess...
0:48:23 > 0:48:25I got your message. Congratulations.
0:48:25 > 0:48:26I don't care about that.
0:48:28 > 0:48:29You don't have to lie to me.
0:48:29 > 0:48:31I was jealous!
0:48:31 > 0:48:37And scared that if you were a success, you wouldn't want to hang out with a loser like me any more.
0:48:37 > 0:48:40Tess, you're not a loser!
0:48:40 > 0:48:42OK?
0:48:42 > 0:48:44Tess, you're amazing.
0:48:44 > 0:48:47You're beautiful, you're kind, you're talented.
0:48:47 > 0:48:51And you don't even realise how funny you are, by accident and on purpose,
0:48:51 > 0:48:55and if the rest of the world can't see that then they're idiots.
0:48:57 > 0:49:00But I can.
0:49:00 > 0:49:02And I'll never leave you.
0:49:02 > 0:49:05- Because I love you.- Ah.
0:49:05 > 0:49:07I love you too, Ed.
0:49:07 > 0:49:12No. I LOVE you.
0:49:12 > 0:49:15Like...
0:49:15 > 0:49:18like a man loves a woman.
0:49:23 > 0:49:25Tess?
0:49:25 > 0:49:28Tess! Tess, you said se...
0:49:28 > 0:49:31you said sexuality was fluid.
0:49:31 > 0:49:32Fuck!
0:49:34 > 0:49:35BUTTONS BEEP
0:49:36 > 0:49:39PHONE RINGS
0:49:42 > 0:49:43Hello?
0:49:43 > 0:49:44Frankie, she's coming...
0:49:49 > 0:49:50Tess is coming!
0:49:50 > 0:49:52No! No, don't let her in!
0:49:53 > 0:49:57Quick! Someone get the music!
0:50:06 > 0:50:07Sssh!
0:50:18 > 0:50:19Surprise!
0:51:04 > 0:51:06Tess?
0:51:14 > 0:51:16Hey, what's up?
0:51:19 > 0:51:20Hey?
0:51:26 > 0:51:28Ssh...
0:51:34 > 0:51:35Ed!
0:51:37 > 0:51:40- What happened? What did you do? - I told her.- You told her what?
0:51:40 > 0:51:42That I'm in love with her.
0:51:44 > 0:51:45Are you?
0:51:50 > 0:51:54- No wonder you never pull! - Jay...- You do realise she's gay?
0:51:54 > 0:51:57Well, it didn't stop you with Frankie, did it?
0:52:01 > 0:52:03When?
0:52:06 > 0:52:08Is that where you were the other night?
0:52:10 > 0:52:11No...
0:52:13 > 0:52:15No!
0:52:15 > 0:52:18KNOCK ON DOOR
0:52:18 > 0:52:19Don't let anyone in.
0:52:21 > 0:52:23- Tess?- Go away!
0:52:28 > 0:52:30- I'm sorry.- What? - We can still be friends.
0:52:30 > 0:52:33I thought we were friends. But all the time you were...
0:52:33 > 0:52:35Just get out. Can both...
0:52:35 > 0:52:37both of you just get out.
0:52:42 > 0:52:44All right.
0:52:45 > 0:52:47Come on.
0:52:53 > 0:52:55Ow!
0:52:56 > 0:52:58You fucking bitch.
0:52:58 > 0:53:01- Becks.- Don't fucking Becks me.
0:53:01 > 0:53:03Is it true?
0:53:08 > 0:53:10Becky...
0:53:12 > 0:53:15Becky!
0:53:15 > 0:53:16We should go.
0:54:38 > 0:54:39Canape?
0:54:47 > 0:54:48Here...
0:54:49 > 0:54:51Frankie, stop.
0:54:51 > 0:54:53Come on.
0:54:54 > 0:54:55Kiss me.
0:54:55 > 0:54:56Frankie, stop.
0:54:57 > 0:54:59What? Come on.
0:55:04 > 0:55:07It isn't me you want. Is it?
0:55:07 > 0:55:09It is tonight.
0:55:09 > 0:55:11What?
0:55:17 > 0:55:19I really liked you, Frankie.
0:55:23 > 0:55:25See you around.
0:55:25 > 0:55:27- Don't go.- Stop it.
0:56:08 > 0:56:10I love you.
0:56:31 > 0:56:32You could move in with me.
0:56:35 > 0:56:37You...you're sure?
0:56:37 > 0:56:40- We, we...we never gave this a shot. - Who's fault was that?
0:56:40 > 0:56:44Dig any deeper, you'll hurt yourself. Try to find out, I'll hurt her too.
0:56:44 > 0:56:49Some actress has dropped out of Uncle Vanya at The Tron and they need to audition a new Sonia today.
0:56:50 > 0:56:52Shit. You don't think it's broken, do you?
0:56:52 > 0:56:53Why do you want her?
0:56:53 > 0:56:56We're just going to chat...
0:56:56 > 0:56:57That's not what I meant.
0:57:14 > 0:57:17Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:57:17 > 0:57:20E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk