0:00:18 > 0:00:20# Here come the girls
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# Girls, girls
0:00:22 > 0:00:23# Girls, girls
0:00:23 > 0:00:25# Here come the girls
0:00:25 > 0:00:27# Girls, girls
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Girls, girls
0:00:29 > 0:00:31# Looking so good It's a darn god shame
0:00:31 > 0:00:34# That they couldn't all be mine
0:00:34 > 0:00:36# Looking so pretty It's a darn god pity
0:00:36 > 0:00:38# Oh! Looking so fine!
0:00:38 > 0:00:40- # Fine!- Look out blood!
0:00:40 > 0:00:43# Let me get further little closer to the one I love
0:00:43 > 0:00:46# Anything better than the opposite sex... #
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Come on up to the dance floor all you classmates of '66.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Still feeling young?
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Well, it's time to wind back the clock all the way to 1968.
0:01:13 > 0:01:19# Oh, I bet you wondered how I knew
0:01:19 > 0:01:22# 'Bout your plans to make me blue
0:01:22 > 0:01:26# With some other guy you knew before
0:01:26 > 0:01:29# Between the two of us guys
0:01:29 > 0:01:31# You know I love you more
0:01:31 > 0:01:34# It took me by surprise
0:01:34 > 0:01:39When I found out yesterday
0:01:39 > 0:01:42# Don't you know that I heard it through the grapevine
0:01:42 > 0:01:46# Not much longer would you be mine
0:01:46 > 0:01:50# Oh, I heard it through the grapevine
0:01:50 > 0:01:54# Oh, I'm just about to lose my mind
0:01:54 > 0:01:56# Honey, honey, yeah...
0:02:03 > 0:02:07# I know a man ain't supposed to cry... #
0:02:15 > 0:02:18DOOR SLAMS
0:02:23 > 0:02:24Hey!
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Love's young dream!
0:02:26 > 0:02:27What?
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Back in the room...
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Are you all right, love?
0:02:31 > 0:02:32What time is it?
0:02:33 > 0:02:34It was, erm,
0:02:34 > 0:02:37buy one get one free.
0:02:37 > 0:02:38On a crate?
0:02:54 > 0:02:57I had to be introduced! No-one knew who I was.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59I thought they had name badges.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02I knew Maureen Kelly when I saw her.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03Veronica Mangan.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07Rose bloody what's her name?
0:03:07 > 0:03:09You knew her well, then?
0:03:09 > 0:03:11And that Mary, the flippin' organiser,
0:03:11 > 0:03:16stuck by me for half an hour to explain who I was to everyone.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Apparently I was too stupid to do it myself.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Well, maybe she was just being friendly.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Maybe she was just being patronising.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25There's a film starting.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Why did I go? I don't even like that kind of thing.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29It's Paul Newman.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32I knew it was a bad idea. I should have stayed in and done the ironing.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35- You don't even like Paul Newman. - It's still a good film though.
0:03:35 > 0:03:40If I'd wanted to be insulted all night I could have stayed home and talked to you.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42I mean, they seemed to recognise one another.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45What was so different about me?
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Insignificant!
0:03:53 > 0:03:56So insignificant I've been wiped from their memories.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00Rubbish. I can't remember half the people I went to school with.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Yes, you can. You're always reeling off names.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06I wouldn't know half of them if they walked in here now.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- It was embarrassing. - Probably more embarrassing for them.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Oh, that's right. Take their side.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Oh, forget it. You'll never see them again, anyway.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Well, that's my point, Frankie!
0:04:17 > 0:04:22I could walk right past them and they wouldn't know it. Am I boring you?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24No.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30I've just had the most humiliating night of my life,
0:04:30 > 0:04:32but if you want to get some kip, don't mind me.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Come to bed.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35You've no idea, have you?
0:04:35 > 0:04:37- Of what?- What I'm going through.
0:04:37 > 0:04:42Look, you've had a bad night. Have you got post-traumatic stress now?
0:04:42 > 0:04:45It's made me feel...
0:04:45 > 0:04:46like a nonentity.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48It made me feel old.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Oh, don't be soft. You're the same age.
0:04:50 > 0:04:51I stood in a room
0:04:51 > 0:04:54with 200 people I went to school with,
0:04:54 > 0:04:56spent five years of my life with,
0:04:56 > 0:04:58and no-one recognised me.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00What do you think that means?
0:05:03 > 0:05:04Did you go to the right reunion?
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Thank you very much.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11HE SIGHS
0:05:12 > 0:05:15VACUUM CLEANER
0:05:26 > 0:05:28I did in here yesterday.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Any chance of a cup of tea?
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Kitchen floor's still wet.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Did you have a nice time, Mum?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55It was all right.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Is she on your wedding photo?
0:05:57 > 0:06:01She was. Maid of honour. Well spotted.
0:06:01 > 0:06:02Never kept in touch?
0:06:02 > 0:06:04She moved to London.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Loads of Botox.
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Oh, yeah.
0:06:08 > 0:06:09What?
0:06:09 > 0:06:10And a boob job.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Are you sure?
0:06:12 > 0:06:13How can you tell?
0:06:13 > 0:06:14Mum, look at her.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18I am. It looks like Ronnie McGuire.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22- With a better cleavage than she had in 1968.- Are you sure?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- By a cosmetic mile. - I suppose she does look quite good.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Yeah, as opposed to her.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30A nose job too far.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31Now you're having me on.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34No, that is definitely not the nose she was born with.
0:06:34 > 0:06:35No, she's picked that one.
0:06:37 > 0:06:38People like me don't get nose jobs.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42Mum, where've you been for the last ten years?
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Clearly not out enough.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48So did you invite them all to your birthday party?
0:06:48 > 0:06:49No, I did not!
0:06:55 > 0:06:57I like to get to bed early on a Friday,
0:06:57 > 0:06:59know what with having to work on a Saturday
0:06:59 > 0:07:03but I'll have a big night out Saturday night,
0:07:03 > 0:07:05get up about two o'clock on Sunday.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08Knackered!
0:07:08 > 0:07:09I'll have a massive breakfast.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12I love a big breakfast, me.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16But if I don't get my beauty sleep, I look about 60.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18No offence.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23Are you going anywhere nice on your holiday's this year?
0:07:23 > 0:07:24I've just got back from Ibiza...
0:07:24 > 0:07:29'It made me feel...like a nonentity. It made me feel old.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31VOICES ECHO
0:07:31 > 0:07:35'I stood in a room with 200 people I went to school with,
0:07:35 > 0:07:39'I spent five years of my life with, and no-one recognised me.'
0:07:42 > 0:07:44So my boyfriend got well jealous,
0:07:44 > 0:07:47dumped my best mate and then tried to get back with me.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49I was like I don't think so. Anyway...
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Have you worked here long?
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Long enough!
0:07:54 > 0:07:56But I leave next week!
0:07:56 > 0:08:01I've got a job on a cruise ship, I haven't told them yet.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Six months around the Caribbean and then the plan is
0:08:04 > 0:08:07to go to New Zealand, or Dubai, I haven't made my mind up yet!
0:08:07 > 0:08:10I mean what's the point of sticking round here
0:08:10 > 0:08:12when I've got a chance to travel the world?
0:08:12 > 0:08:15Have you ever been to the Caribbean?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17STEELPANS PLAY
0:08:59 > 0:09:03MUSIC: "Here Come The Girls" by Ernie K-Doe
0:09:06 > 0:09:09# Here come the girls
0:09:09 > 0:09:10# Girls, girls
0:09:10 > 0:09:11# Girls, girls
0:09:11 > 0:09:13# Here come the girls
0:09:13 > 0:09:15# Girls, girls
0:09:15 > 0:09:17# Girls, girls. #
0:09:18 > 0:09:20It's Jean Matthews.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24OK, Jean, can you smile for me, please?
0:09:26 > 0:09:28And raise your eyebrows.
0:10:19 > 0:10:20Are the plates warm?
0:10:20 > 0:10:24Oh, I've not had a chance.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26I'm eating them out of the paper, then.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Oh, you know I hate that.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30I hate cold plates.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Shall we eat in here for a change?
0:10:35 > 0:10:37The One Show's starting now.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42I'm going to eat mine off a plate.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Like a civilised person!
0:10:44 > 0:10:47They taste much nicer out of the paper.
0:10:51 > 0:10:52Put this under them.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54I don't want grease all over the place.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55Thank you.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57VOICES ON TELEVISION
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Do you like Adrian Chiles?
0:11:07 > 0:11:08You what?
0:11:08 > 0:11:11Adrian Chiles. Do you like him?
0:11:11 > 0:11:13I can take him or leave him.
0:11:13 > 0:11:14Like everything.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Eh?
0:11:16 > 0:11:18That's what you say about everything.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Take it or leave it.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23It's a lovely bit of fish that.
0:11:24 > 0:11:25Too much batter.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Have you had your hair done?
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Yes. And?
0:11:35 > 0:11:37New top?
0:11:37 > 0:11:38Old top.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40New shoes?
0:11:40 > 0:11:41No.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Manicure!
0:11:45 > 0:11:46No.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Gas mask?
0:11:48 > 0:11:49I was joking!
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Hiya, Jean. You look lovely, going somewhere special...
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Thanks.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12What's wrong, love?
0:12:12 > 0:12:13Jean?
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Nothing. I'm fine.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17It's nothing. Really.
0:12:26 > 0:12:27What's going on?
0:12:35 > 0:12:37What's he been saying?
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Absolutely nothing.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Yeah, well, something's happened.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44Oh, you noticed that, did you?
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Champagne?
0:12:47 > 0:12:51Ten out of ten for observation this time.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54I put your fish and chips in the oven.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56And they can stay there.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59I've decided to stay here and get drunk instead.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Right.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06Shall I, er, shall I go and get us a film?
0:13:09 > 0:13:12Do you think I'm going to sit and watch a film now?
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Well, maybe not a comedy.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Just leave me to drink this.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30You know, there is something different about you, that's for sure.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Have you had your chin plucked again?
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Vintage.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04You splashed out then?
0:14:04 > 0:14:06I deserved a treat.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10You'll be burping all night.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Oh, I'll soldier on.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14And I'll soldier through.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21It's Botox.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Is it serious?
0:14:27 > 0:14:28Botox injections.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Botox? You?
0:14:30 > 0:14:31Everyone does it.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Yeah, course they do.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37Turns out half the people at my reunion had had it.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39No wonder I was the only one who looked my age.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40You look fine.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43You didn't even notice!
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Well to be honest, I don't know what it is, really.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48You're not supposed to know. You're just supposed to notice.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Tom next door noticed.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06You don't need anything else.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09It's just fillers. I feel better.
0:15:09 > 0:15:10It's not natural.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14Neither is drinking ten cans of lager every Friday night.
0:15:14 > 0:15:18Just because a few old birds at that party had their face fixed doesn't mean you have to.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21So I have to stand there feeling old and insignificant?
0:15:21 > 0:15:23No.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26And I think you're beautiful.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28I'm nearly 60.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32It's not that old, same as Twiggy.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35But people I went to school with don't recognise me.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38My husband doesn't notice when I make an effort,
0:15:38 > 0:15:41and I break down when the neighbour says I look nice.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45I do not feel beautiful.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Oh, look get it done.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51- Have them fillings if it'll make you feel better.- Fillers.- Get it done.
0:15:51 > 0:15:52Do you mean it?
0:15:52 > 0:15:54If it's what you want.
0:15:54 > 0:15:55It is.
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Right, now...
0:15:56 > 0:15:59I suppose a quick one is out of the question.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00Get in!
0:16:07 > 0:16:10- Have you had Botox?- Yeah!
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Wow.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14- You look great, Mum. - Do you think?- Yeah.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17I must say, I can't really see it myself.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19It makes me feel better.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22I've got the invitations. Is 60 enough?
0:16:22 > 0:16:26Erm... You better get some more. I'll give you the money.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Someone thinks they're popular.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30I thought I might invite a few people from the reunion.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32What, so you can compare face-lifts?
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Oh, don't exaggerate, Nicola.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36It's only a bit of Botox.
0:16:36 > 0:16:37Now then...
0:16:37 > 0:16:38Who's hungry?
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Me!
0:16:41 > 0:16:42She's lost it.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Oh, what, like we don't know that you've had your lips done.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49Yeah, but she's an old woman. It's shameful.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01It's about 700.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02What?! £700?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04For what I want done, yeah.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06I've had holidays cost less than that.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- Don't be ridiculous.- I'm not.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10It's booked now.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14Are you going to end up looking like someone else?
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Anyone you fancy?
0:17:16 > 0:17:21Oh, well, I've always quite liked Felicity Kendal.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Oh, I'm sorry, Felicity.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45I'd love to but the wife's on her way.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51# Oh, the good life
0:17:51 > 0:17:56# Full of fun seems to be the ideal...
0:17:56 > 0:17:59# Mmm, the good life
0:17:59 > 0:18:07# Let's you hide all the sadness you feel... #
0:18:07 > 0:18:08It looked lovely.
0:18:08 > 0:18:09It was too tight.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13- Do you want to go into town?- I've already been. Three times last week.
0:18:13 > 0:18:14Manchester?
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Tried every shop in the Trafford Centre.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Chester?
0:18:19 > 0:18:20Let's go home.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32You've got plenty of dresses.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Do you need something new?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36I'll just get one from Oxfam, shall I?
0:18:36 > 0:18:37For my big party?
0:18:37 > 0:18:38I'm joking!
0:18:38 > 0:18:41It doesn't matter cos I can't find a thing I like.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Do you want me to come shopping with you? I need a new shirt anyway.
0:18:44 > 0:18:48The last time we went shopping together we ducked into an Anderson shelter.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51FOOTBALL ON TELEVISION
0:18:53 > 0:18:55TURNS OFF TELEVISION
0:18:55 > 0:18:56What's the matter?
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Everything I put on looks wrong.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02At, least...
0:19:02 > 0:19:04I look wrong.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06I can't believe you haven't tried every shop yet.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08HE TURNS ON TELEVISION
0:19:08 > 0:19:11There's a tiny procedure I was thinking of getting.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14You what?
0:19:16 > 0:19:17A tummy tuck.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19At least a mini...a mini one.
0:19:19 > 0:19:20Don't be soft.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23It only costs a few thousand pounds.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Because you can't find a dress that fits? Behave.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29I've had two kids and I've never got my figure back.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Do some sits ups.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35- Says the couch potato. - I'm happy the way I am.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38- Loads of people are doing it. - My mother's thinking of getting one.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41- She'd have to be winched out of the house first.- She's 85!
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Stone.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46And she can still get into a dress without resorting to surgery.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51It's just a tiny tummy tuck. Think of it as a birthday present.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54- I thought those filters were over the top...- Fillers!
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- Now messing around with your body? - It's not as if we can't afford it.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59- We can't!- We can.- Can't.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Absolutely not.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14It's the last thing.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Who's this in aid of?
0:20:17 > 0:20:18Me.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20We're not spending money on a tummy tuck
0:20:20 > 0:20:24so you can start wearing the same clothes as the girls.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26- There's plenty in the rainy day... - There isn't.
0:20:26 > 0:20:27What?
0:20:27 > 0:20:31- There's no money in it. - There's thousands in there.
0:20:31 > 0:20:32Not any more.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34- Where's it gone? - It's just gone.- On what?!
0:20:34 > 0:20:37It just goes, doesn't it? Inflation.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40£5,000 does not just go on inflation. What have you done?
0:20:40 > 0:20:44Nothing! You know a few hundred here on bits and bobs for the house.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Fillers for you! It goes, doesn't it?
0:20:46 > 0:20:48You're lying.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05There. It's gone.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32I'd rather freeze in the spare room.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12- You know this whole thing's your fault.- Mine?
0:22:12 > 0:22:15You're the one that made her go to that school reunion,
0:22:15 > 0:22:18she's never been the same since. Chocolate?
0:22:18 > 0:22:19- Yeah.- I said cinnamon.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22- You said chocolate.- Cinnamon.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26I didn't make her go. I just encouraged her to go.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28- Have you had all the jelly babies? - Yeah.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30- For God's sake.- Yeah well,
0:22:30 > 0:22:34she never would have considered Botox or a tummy tuck until that night.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37- Thanks.- It's true. Those things are a nightmare,
0:22:37 > 0:22:40everyone lined up, comparing themselves.
0:22:40 > 0:22:41I had a great time at mine.
0:22:41 > 0:22:42Mmm!
0:22:42 > 0:22:44After three months' preparation...
0:22:44 > 0:22:47You had your lips done, you got dressed up to the nines.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Yeah, flirting away to your hearts content.
0:22:50 > 0:22:51No I wasn't!
0:22:51 > 0:22:56Anyway I think it must be an age thing. 60's a big number.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58You'd know, you're nearer to it than me.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01I just think there's got to be more to it.
0:23:01 > 0:23:05Why don't you just hold your hands up for once in your life and admit it?
0:23:05 > 0:23:06It was your fault.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14I know I'll regret this but you've got that smug look on your face
0:24:14 > 0:24:18- like when you got a B+ for maths in school.- It was A- actually.
0:24:18 > 0:24:23- And I've been on the phone to Dad and I've given him the benefit of my womanly wiles.- Which was?
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Make love not war.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27So you told the frog to kiss the princess?
0:24:27 > 0:24:29I told him to be all romantic
0:24:29 > 0:24:32and buy her a bottle of her favourite bubbly.
0:24:32 > 0:24:33Vintage?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Of course! And then...
0:24:35 > 0:24:37he's got to take her in his arms and say,
0:24:37 > 0:24:39"This has gone on long enough."
0:24:39 > 0:24:42- And you think that's going to work? - Guaranteed.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50DOOR SHUTS
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Vintage. I pushed the boat out.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02You must be feeling guilty.
0:25:02 > 0:25:03Yeah, well,
0:25:03 > 0:25:05this has gone on long enough.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11What?
0:25:12 > 0:25:16You did it, didn't you?! How?
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Where did you get the money?
0:25:18 > 0:25:19Credit card.
0:25:32 > 0:25:33Afternoon!
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Afternoon!
0:25:50 > 0:25:53Are you just winding her up for a few hours?
0:25:53 > 0:25:55No, I've walked out.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Dad, you don't walk out.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Even Mum doesn't walk out.
0:25:59 > 0:26:03She's had major surgery in order to fit into a bloody dress.
0:26:03 > 0:26:04I don't know the woman any more.
0:26:07 > 0:26:12It wasn't major surgery. Do I look like I've had a major operation?
0:26:12 > 0:26:13I think he's shocked.
0:26:13 > 0:26:14He'll recover.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16Mum let me do that. Here, sit down.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21You do look a bit drawn.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24Nothing that a bit of Botox won't cure.
0:26:24 > 0:26:25Mum!
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Can't afford it now.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31And what Father Feck has spent that £5,000 on is beyond me.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Can you get gold-plated golf balls?
0:26:33 > 0:26:34He hasn't said?
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Nope.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38My first thought was another woman...
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Dad? No.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Exactly!
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Only a mother could love that face.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45You married him!
0:26:45 > 0:26:48So... If it's not a bit on the side, he must be gambling.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52What, the man who spends £2 max on the Grand National?
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Well, where's the money gone?
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Cos I've run out of ideas.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Is that why you had the op?
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Because you've run out of ideas?
0:27:06 > 0:27:09I'm not that spiteful.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12CHILDREN SHOUT
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Will you lot please be quiet!
0:27:17 > 0:27:18I'm surprised Dad's still here.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21Are you saying this isn't an oasis of calm?
0:27:21 > 0:27:22Has he said anything?
0:27:22 > 0:27:25Oh, yeah. I'm virtually his relationship counsellor(!)
0:27:25 > 0:27:26Really?
0:27:26 > 0:27:30No, Linds. The most I get out of him is pass the paper.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Got any white bread? This needs more salt.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34I get the picture.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36I expect Mum makes up for the both of them?
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Not really.
0:27:38 > 0:27:39Not even about the money?
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Nope. As clueless as we are.
0:27:43 > 0:27:44Any sign of a white flag?
0:27:44 > 0:27:45None.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49You don't think...
0:27:49 > 0:27:50What?
0:27:50 > 0:27:53You don't think that they're going to split up?
0:27:53 > 0:27:55No!
0:27:55 > 0:27:56No, you're right.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58No, he'll be going home tomorrow.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Three nights! I mean what man walks out for three nights?
0:28:07 > 0:28:09It's ridiculous.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11It's pathetic. He's acting like a spoilt child.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13He's fuming.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16He's fuming?! I'm the one who should be fuming.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19Yeah, well it's obvious you're both fuming.
0:28:19 > 0:28:20Can't you just sort it?
0:28:20 > 0:28:23I'm here. I'm ready to talk.
0:28:23 > 0:28:26I'm not the one who's sulking in a corner.
0:28:26 > 0:28:27Now, what does he want?
0:28:27 > 0:28:29An apology?
0:28:29 > 0:28:30Clothes-wise?
0:28:30 > 0:28:34Oh, his brown trousers and a couple of pairs of undies.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37A couple of pairs?
0:28:37 > 0:28:39Is he going on a cruise?
0:28:39 > 0:28:41Well you can tell him,
0:28:41 > 0:28:44I'm not dragging the wheelie bin round the front on Tuesday
0:28:44 > 0:28:47and if he thinks I'm going to water his plants...
0:28:47 > 0:28:48Tuesday?!
0:28:48 > 0:28:50Reading glasses?
0:28:50 > 0:28:53Yeah, he's using mine.
0:28:53 > 0:28:54What else?
0:28:54 > 0:28:57A bit of sympathy?
0:28:57 > 0:29:01Come on now, Daddy's girl, I bet you're milking him dry.
0:29:01 > 0:29:03I'd rather he was back here.
0:29:03 > 0:29:06I'd say so would I, but I'm enjoying the peace.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09Can't you just come round and see him?
0:29:09 > 0:29:13When he's free to come home? No.
0:29:13 > 0:29:14Socks?
0:29:14 > 0:29:16Three or four pairs...
0:29:16 > 0:29:19God, he'll be there till Christmas.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22Right, that's plenty.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24- I'll talk to him.- Hang on!
0:29:29 > 0:29:31You'll need this.
0:29:31 > 0:29:32He didn't ask for any cream...
0:29:32 > 0:29:35Well, he wouldn't. It's for his piles.
0:29:40 > 0:29:42RADIO: After this, Sally with the news and weather.
0:29:42 > 0:29:45MUSIC ON RADIO
0:30:14 > 0:30:15One thing, Dad!
0:30:15 > 0:30:19One thing, you promised you'd sort the DJ. He's double booked now.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22There'll be no DJ, no booze and no party at this rate!
0:30:22 > 0:30:24Suits me, love.
0:30:45 > 0:30:49LETTERBOX BANGS
0:31:05 > 0:31:07So we're running out of options now.
0:31:07 > 0:31:08How's Dad?
0:31:08 > 0:31:10About to serve divorce papers.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12I think Mum would happily agree to one.
0:31:12 > 0:31:13I don't know who's worse.
0:31:13 > 0:31:14Her or Mr Hard Done To.
0:31:14 > 0:31:17I thought you were on Dad's side.
0:31:17 > 0:31:19It's not about taking sides, Linds.
0:31:19 > 0:31:22Course I'm on his side. I just don't want him living with me.
0:31:22 > 0:31:25I think Mum's really upset on the sly.
0:31:25 > 0:31:27She shouldn't be so thoughtless then.
0:31:27 > 0:31:30He shouldn't be so stubborn. Or violent...
0:31:30 > 0:31:31You what?
0:31:31 > 0:31:34Well, apparently he punched Tom next door.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36Dad?! Why?
0:31:36 > 0:31:38He was nice to Mum.
0:31:38 > 0:31:39I'm still really confused.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42There's got to be more to it than that.
0:31:43 > 0:31:44What? Mum and Tom?
0:31:44 > 0:31:46Oh, come on...
0:31:46 > 0:31:48I knew Dad wouldn't walk out for no reason.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50He didn't.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52May be he knows more than he's letting on.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54And maybe you're overreacting.
0:31:54 > 0:31:55As usual.
0:31:56 > 0:31:57He hit someone!
0:31:59 > 0:32:01Maybe he just really doesn't like Tom.
0:32:01 > 0:32:03Actually, he's never been that keen.
0:32:03 > 0:32:05Since the fence thing.
0:32:05 > 0:32:06And Mum took his side.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09Well, she was just winding Dad up, wasn't she?
0:32:09 > 0:32:12So, what do you suggest?
0:32:12 > 0:32:13Guilt trip.
0:32:13 > 0:32:14You work on Mum.
0:32:14 > 0:32:16No way.
0:32:16 > 0:32:17It's always me.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19I'll send Dad round to you, shall I?
0:32:19 > 0:32:21Mum, it is then.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29You bought it?
0:32:29 > 0:32:30Early present.
0:32:31 > 0:32:32It's too tight.
0:32:32 > 0:32:35Just try it on.
0:32:43 > 0:32:44What's that?
0:32:44 > 0:32:47A bath, Dad.
0:32:47 > 0:32:49Go on, take a deep breath.
0:32:59 > 0:33:02You look stunning.
0:33:02 > 0:33:03I do not.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06It's perfect.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09I'm not sure about the colour.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12Are you kidding?
0:33:12 > 0:33:15Or maybe...it's the cut.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20What exactly was the point of that tummy tuck, Mum?
0:33:23 > 0:33:26Well, I hope it was worth it,
0:33:26 > 0:33:29because Dad's over there heartbroken, you know.
0:33:45 > 0:33:47Bless you.
0:34:05 > 0:34:07Oh, very, very nice.
0:34:16 > 0:34:18Happy now?
0:34:20 > 0:34:21I'm not sure.
0:34:21 > 0:34:23What is it going to take?
0:34:26 > 0:34:29It's not that simple.
0:34:35 > 0:34:36Dad?
0:34:36 > 0:34:38Dad?
0:34:41 > 0:34:42Right! That's it.
0:34:42 > 0:34:45I have enough stress without you adding to it.
0:34:45 > 0:34:46Then keep your beak out then.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49In case I find out what you've done with your life savings?
0:34:49 > 0:34:54You were right about that sea-salt scrub. It's amazing.
0:34:54 > 0:34:56Dad that was a present!
0:34:56 > 0:34:59You're going to have to go home.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37I hope my suit's clean.
0:35:37 > 0:35:39Happy birthday to you, too!
0:35:41 > 0:35:43I'm doing this for the girls.
0:35:57 > 0:35:58Are you ready?
0:35:58 > 0:36:01I won't ask you if my bum looks big in this.
0:36:03 > 0:36:06Let's just get one thing straight before we go...
0:36:07 > 0:36:09it wasn't me who walked out.
0:36:09 > 0:36:10You went behind my back.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12I lost all my trust.
0:36:12 > 0:36:14I trusted you to look after the money.
0:36:14 > 0:36:17What, so you could cut up your body?
0:36:17 > 0:36:19It made me feel better.
0:36:19 > 0:36:21Does it make you feel better now?
0:36:29 > 0:36:31- Anything?- Nothing.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33They'll be here.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35I knew I should have talked to Mum!
0:36:43 > 0:36:44I was unhappy.
0:36:44 > 0:36:47No, a few people at the party didn't recognise you, it bruised your ego.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49This isn't about the reunion.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51Everything was fine before then.
0:36:51 > 0:36:55Was it? When every Saturday for months on end you're at the football?
0:36:55 > 0:36:57Every Sunday you're out playing golf?
0:36:57 > 0:37:01Our life savings have mysteriously disappeared. You call that fine?
0:37:01 > 0:37:04- Why didn't you say something?- I did.
0:37:04 > 0:37:07I said I wanted a tummy tuck and you walked out.
0:37:07 > 0:37:09No! You did it and then I walked out.
0:37:09 > 0:37:12I thought we discussed things like that.
0:37:12 > 0:37:15Oh, like we discuss your season ticket every year?
0:37:15 > 0:37:16Really expensive golf clubs.
0:37:16 > 0:37:20Let me think, did we discuss the fact that I had to cook and clean
0:37:20 > 0:37:23and wipe everyone's backsides for over 30 years?!
0:37:23 > 0:37:25What possessed you?
0:37:25 > 0:37:28- What?- You're 60. Just tell me what possessed you to get that operation?
0:37:30 > 0:37:32Let's just go.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34Oh, no, no, now is not the time to get shy.
0:37:34 > 0:37:35We'll be late.
0:37:38 > 0:37:39Why, Jean?
0:37:39 > 0:37:41I felt old.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44- You're not a teenager. - I knew you'd understand.
0:37:44 > 0:37:47No, I'm a realist. We're supposed to grow old together.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50Doesn't mean I have to feel insignificant too.
0:37:50 > 0:37:53- You don't feel insignificant. - Stop telling me what I feel!
0:37:53 > 0:37:58Either you're lying now or you made a good job of pretending you were happy for the 35 years.
0:37:58 > 0:38:00I felt old! And fat
0:38:00 > 0:38:02and ugly and invisible.
0:38:05 > 0:38:07And now I feel pathetic.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09Yeah well, I won't argue with that.
0:38:09 > 0:38:11The last of the romantics.
0:38:13 > 0:38:14- You- were- happy.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19I never stopped to think about it.
0:38:19 > 0:38:21With being tied to that kitchen sink forever.
0:38:21 > 0:38:22Don't rewrite history.
0:38:22 > 0:38:25I was Miss New Brighton.
0:38:25 > 0:38:29- Joint third. What's that got to do...- Joint third! As you always remind me.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31- The point is I was different. - I don't understand.
0:38:31 > 0:38:36I was the girl that was going to go to exotic places. I was going to do something...
0:38:36 > 0:38:39You had plenty in your life, you had your girls, your job...
0:38:39 > 0:38:41The passport office for 30 years?
0:38:41 > 0:38:43Two holidays a year, weekends away.
0:38:43 > 0:38:46It wasn't a break for me, but it was OK.
0:38:46 > 0:38:48It was more than OK!
0:38:48 > 0:38:52It was not exactly what I had planned for my life when I left school.
0:38:52 > 0:38:54I'm sorry we held you up from your high-flying career.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57What was it, supermodel? Airline pilot?
0:38:57 > 0:39:00Something like that. Anything a bit more glamorous than what I got.
0:39:00 > 0:39:03- Glamorous?- Yes, glamorous.
0:39:03 > 0:39:05Different. Exciting. Take your pick.
0:39:05 > 0:39:10- You thought an operation would make you feel glamorous? - If you like, yeah.
0:39:10 > 0:39:11I didn't think you were so naive.
0:39:12 > 0:39:14And I didn't think you were a liar.
0:39:15 > 0:39:16You what?
0:39:16 > 0:39:20What have you done with the money?
0:39:20 > 0:39:22Let's just go.
0:39:22 > 0:39:24Who's shy now?
0:39:26 > 0:39:29- So, you got her into dress that she liked?- Yeah...
0:39:29 > 0:39:31- And she was happy? - Yes. It looked lovely.
0:39:31 > 0:39:32But?
0:39:32 > 0:39:33I got a film out.
0:39:33 > 0:39:38Oh, I get it, three bags of popcorn and a giant box of chocolates?
0:39:38 > 0:39:40And a tub of Ben and Jerry's.
0:39:40 > 0:39:42It was a weepy!
0:39:42 > 0:39:45You should have gone over and got ready with her.
0:39:45 > 0:39:47So did you soft soap Dad?
0:39:47 > 0:39:49He did that all by himself.
0:39:49 > 0:39:53And about a year's worth of bubble bath and all of that posh body scrub you got me.
0:39:53 > 0:39:55I'm surprised you didn't drown him.
0:39:55 > 0:39:58I came very close.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00What are the odds of them turning up?
0:40:00 > 0:40:02Give us your phone.
0:40:03 > 0:40:06Come on, let's go.
0:40:06 > 0:40:08PHONE RINGS
0:40:08 > 0:40:11That'll be the girls.
0:40:14 > 0:40:18If you had gambled it away, you'd admit it. I'll give you that.
0:40:18 > 0:40:21- It's just gone.- It must be something you don't want to admit.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23- No, it isn't!- Another woman. - You know it isn't.
0:40:23 > 0:40:26You wouldn't kick off on her if she wanted a tummy tuck. Oh, no.
0:40:26 > 0:40:27Are we going or not?
0:40:27 > 0:40:30- Have you spent it on hotels?- Jean!
0:40:30 > 0:40:33- Or, diamonds. You bought your fancy woman diamonds?- I'm going...
0:40:33 > 0:40:34Oh, that would be funny.
0:40:34 > 0:40:39- Buying jewellery. The man who hasn't got a romantic bone in his body. - Leave it.
0:40:39 > 0:40:40Have I got close now?
0:40:40 > 0:40:43No! I was saving this for the party but since you asked!
0:40:44 > 0:40:49Malta, same place as the honeymoon, only this time we're going five star.
0:40:49 > 0:40:50What?
0:40:50 > 0:40:54Yeah, and we've got a big room with a sea view and a balcony.
0:40:54 > 0:40:56We can wander the streets hand in hand again.
0:40:59 > 0:41:03Only this time we won't feel stupid.
0:41:05 > 0:41:08And if we do feel stupid, we won't care.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12No kids.
0:41:13 > 0:41:14No in-laws.
0:41:16 > 0:41:19Just me and you.
0:41:22 > 0:41:26We can sneak off to that grove and make love.
0:41:26 > 0:41:28And giggle about it for ages afterwards.
0:41:29 > 0:41:33Or sit in cafes for hours just talking.
0:41:36 > 0:41:37And if we don't want to to out...
0:41:39 > 0:41:40..we can stay in.
0:41:42 > 0:41:44That's why we've got the best room going.
0:41:48 > 0:41:50If you want, we can stay in bed all day.
0:41:52 > 0:41:54Order tea and chocolate from room service.
0:41:59 > 0:42:00But whatever we do...
0:42:02 > 0:42:04..it'll be romantic.
0:42:06 > 0:42:08And it'll be glamorous.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13And it'll be beautiful.
0:42:14 > 0:42:15Like you.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22I think you're beautiful, Jean.
0:42:24 > 0:42:27I always have.
0:42:33 > 0:42:36CHEERING
0:42:46 > 0:42:50# Oh, the good life
0:42:52 > 0:42:57# Full of fun, seems to be the ideal
0:43:02 > 0:43:05# Mmm, the good life
0:43:05 > 0:43:12# Let's you hide all the sadness you feel
0:43:16 > 0:43:21# You won't really fall in love
0:43:22 > 0:43:26# For you can't take the chance... #