0:00:24 > 0:00:26BAND PLAYS JAZZ MUSIC
0:00:48 > 0:00:50I think it's your round.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Didn't I get the last one?
0:00:52 > 0:00:56Well, I need the loo. You go, I'll pay.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58I'll settle up with you later.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16APPLAUSE
0:01:16 > 0:01:18The band are going to be taking a break for now,
0:01:18 > 0:01:21so why don't you get yourselves to the bar
0:01:21 > 0:01:23and relax to the sounds of Jack Bacon.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29- What can I get you? - This lady was here first.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Oh, em...two G & T's.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37I would have been here all night.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39- I should get you a martini. - Martini?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Shaken not stirred.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45- Have you not got served yet? I'm parched!- Just coming!
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Gabe?
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Cyn. Morris. Well, I was Ferguson.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54We were in the same class together at primary school.
0:01:54 > 0:01:58Come on, surely I haven't aged that much?
0:01:58 > 0:02:02Your mother used to pass biscuits to you through the railings.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Went into engineering after school.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07You must be good with your hands.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09HE SIGHS
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Frank'll wave you in now.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16The trouble with good-looking men -
0:02:16 > 0:02:20they don't have to try, so they're total bores.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24You nervous about tomorrow then?
0:02:24 > 0:02:28I'm petrified. I'm fine at the driving until I get to the test.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Then I have to go like this so I can tell left from right.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34You've worked so hard, you deserve to pass.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37I should have passed last time except that bloke on the bike cut us up.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41I dread to think how much those lessons have cost.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Everybody learns to drive after they've got a licence.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I wish I could take the test for you.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Anyone for another tipple?
0:02:49 > 0:02:52No, thanks, no. It's a big day tomorrow.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Cyn's got her driving test.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56You could have one more though, couldn't you?
0:02:56 > 0:03:00I could get Cyn a cab, Theresa could stay for a dance.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03I'm in the band that's playing after,
0:03:03 > 0:03:05- hence the tux.- What do you play?
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Trumpet.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Hang around, you might enjoy it.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14What?
0:03:14 > 0:03:17- I'm not your keeper!- Cyn...
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Cyn, I'm only going to stay for one song.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28I just don't want to seem ignorant.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30- You don't mind, do you?- No.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Here is a bit of something.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Open it in the morning, before your test.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47BAND PLAYS UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC
0:04:26 > 0:04:28MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH
0:04:29 > 0:04:32My grandad played the euphonium in a colliery band,
0:04:32 > 0:04:34I had to carry his case for him.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37So when my uncle died
0:04:37 > 0:04:39they gave me his trumpet.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Just as well, my other uncle played the tuba!
0:04:45 > 0:04:48- Oh, no. I'm out of practice.- C'mon.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59# You're my funny valentine
0:05:00 > 0:05:03# Sweet comic valentine
0:05:05 > 0:05:09# You make me smile with my heart... #
0:05:12 > 0:05:15I wanted to be the next Chet Baker,
0:05:15 > 0:05:19my dad wanted me to bring regular money in.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21And your dad won?
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Yeah. I'd tickets to see him at Manchester Free Trade Hall,
0:05:25 > 0:05:27March 1963.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30They were like gold dust, them tickets.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Cost me a fortnight's wages.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35I'd have loved to have seen Chet Baker.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38So would I! The wastrel didn't turn up.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Oh, er, what do I owe you?
0:05:41 > 0:05:43No, no, no. Let me get it.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Are you sure? Thank you.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51I don't suppose you'd...?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Yes?
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Nothing. Thank you.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05# ..Stay little valentine
0:06:05 > 0:06:08# Stay
0:06:11 > 0:06:15# Each day is Valentine's Day... #
0:06:28 > 0:06:29Coffee?
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Have you got something...stronger?
0:06:32 > 0:06:36Em... Do you like ginger wine?
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Yeah, let's have a Whisky Mac.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39I haven't got any whisky.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43I've got some ginger ale somewhere. Does ginger ale go off?
0:06:43 > 0:06:45There's a Dean Martin joke about ginger ale.
0:06:45 > 0:06:50He saw an ad saying, "Drink Canada Dry,"
0:06:50 > 0:06:52so he went there and he did.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55And I have got some ice,
0:06:55 > 0:06:58but the tray in the ice cabinet keeps getting stuck.
0:07:01 > 0:07:02Does it?
0:07:04 > 0:07:05It probably needs defrosting.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08I should really turn the...
0:07:15 > 0:07:19- Oh, God!- Hey, hey. Leave it.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21It's a mess!
0:07:21 > 0:07:24It's not.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27I like it. It's wild.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30Wild.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32I've always been the quiet one...
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Cyn's the wild card.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39It's good, that,
0:07:39 > 0:07:41even on show.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46I'm a sucker for a mystery.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53I think it's traditional to smoke at this juncture,
0:07:53 > 0:07:55but I've given up.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58So have I... apart from special occasions.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01And this is a special occasion?
0:08:24 > 0:08:26I've never been swept off my feet before.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30What, never?
0:08:31 > 0:08:33- I thought you were married?- I was.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36SHE SIGHS
0:08:36 > 0:08:38- TEARFULLY:- 22 years.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41And you never...?
0:08:41 > 0:08:43I wish I hadn't said anything.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46- You're laughing at me.- I'm not.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47I'm honoured.
0:08:47 > 0:08:53It's the most flattering thing I have ever been told.
0:09:07 > 0:09:08How old were you?
0:09:08 > 0:09:10When?
0:09:10 > 0:09:13When you had tickets to see Chet Baker.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18I don't know, 21 maybe?
0:09:18 > 0:09:22- SHE SIGHS - I was already married at 21.
0:09:24 > 0:09:28I wanted to go to Paris for my birthday.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32I got a twin tub.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34Oh...
0:09:35 > 0:09:38HE KISSES HER
0:09:44 > 0:09:45I'm going to be late.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Hm? Eh?
0:09:47 > 0:09:49I can't.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Aren't you retired?
0:09:51 > 0:09:55Do you think I'd be wearing this if I wasn't being paid?!
0:09:55 > 0:10:02There are 23-year-olds who wouldn't look as good as you in those shoes.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07I'm old enough to be retired, I just can't afford it.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Ooh! Oh.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20We can go straight from work. £20 each into the kitty.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23If we start at the Air Bar, it's 2-4-1 till seven anyway.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26We could soak up the booze with an early bird special -
0:10:26 > 0:10:29sausage and mash. The mash is a bit lumpy,
0:10:29 > 0:10:33but if you like Italian, they do a good panini.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35We could invite partners.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39But it wouldn't really be a work's drink then, would it?
0:10:39 > 0:10:43Plus you wouldn't want to drink with some of the goons this lot go out with!
0:10:43 > 0:10:47So if we said...Friday after next?
0:10:47 > 0:10:50I'm all loaded. I'm on Route Three, Andrew.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Thank you.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59You're up for it, aren't you?
0:11:09 > 0:11:10GEARS CRUNCH
0:11:10 > 0:11:12TYRES SQUEAL
0:11:17 > 0:11:18ENGINE REVS NOISILY
0:11:25 > 0:11:26TYRES SQUEAL
0:11:42 > 0:11:44You're all right. It's not alcohol.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46It's a flower remedy.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48It's calming.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Oh.
0:12:01 > 0:12:02SHE UNZIPS HER BAG
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Cyn, how did it go?
0:12:09 > 0:12:11SHE TUTS AND SIGHS
0:12:12 > 0:12:13No, I can't.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17I've got to pick Chloe up after school and take her to drama when I finish.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19They've paid for the classes.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24No, I can't!
0:12:24 > 0:12:27That's not fair.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31I'm not responding to emotional blackmail. I'm not!
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Hi, Auntie Cyn.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43You should get it checked.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47- And you definitely shouldn't be doing that.- No, you are all right.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49It was just heartburn.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51No-one else to do it anyway!
0:12:52 > 0:12:54The house looks derelict.
0:12:54 > 0:12:59- Japanese knotweed everywhere! - Technically that's a flower.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02And that flower remedy didn't work either!
0:13:02 > 0:13:05It's pure ageism!
0:13:05 > 0:13:10They just don't like the idea of an older woman behind the driving seat!
0:13:10 > 0:13:14Soon as you pass the menopause, they think you've gone gaga!
0:13:14 > 0:13:18First sign of a hot flush, they chuck you on the scrap heap.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Oh, I am sorry, I didn't think I was boring you!
0:13:21 > 0:13:24You're not boring, I'm just tired.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26I didn't sleep last night.
0:13:28 > 0:13:29Gabe stayed.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33What, all night?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Yeah.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38In your bed?
0:13:39 > 0:13:40Yeah.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Where did you sleep?
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I didn't.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53What should I wear?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55He's cooking for me tonight at his.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57I can't get too dressed up cos he won't be.
0:13:59 > 0:14:05- Grandma, can we go now? - So is the offer still on? - Mum will go mad!- What offer?
0:14:05 > 0:14:07To take my test for me.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10We are meant to be back at six!
0:14:10 > 0:14:12- SHE LAUGHS - I wasn't serious.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Ahh.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17I wasn't serious!
0:14:27 > 0:14:32- Sorry, we got held up, but she's had her tea.- What was it this time, Mum?
0:14:32 > 0:14:36Anxiety, agoraphobia? Oh, no... She's moved up the alphabet.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39What is she now, borderline bipolar?
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Look, Cyn's had a terrible day.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44When she gets to S, I don't mind taking her to Zurich.
0:14:48 > 0:14:53Hard to get into but this one's worth the effort.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56I've only ever had them once.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59My husband didn't really like foreign food.
0:14:59 > 0:15:04They're indigenous. The Victorian poor used to forage for them and eat them pickled!
0:15:04 > 0:15:08I've seen them on menus at £15, even as a starter!
0:15:08 > 0:15:11- Did you and your wife eat out a lot? - Oh.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14This one's proving resistant.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Was she a good cook?
0:15:19 > 0:15:20Are you any good at chopping, eh?
0:15:38 > 0:15:41We shouldn't really encourage each other.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Shouldn't we?
0:16:07 > 0:16:14# I love Paris in the springtime
0:16:15 > 0:16:23# I love Paris in the fall
0:16:26 > 0:16:32# I love Paris in the wintertime... #
0:16:32 > 0:16:34French wine?
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I wouldn't put it on my chips.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39And it's expensive, Paris.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42It's two for one here. We could get them and split it.
0:16:42 > 0:16:47No. Half of it always gets wasted.
0:16:47 > 0:16:51Unless you want to come round after for something to eat.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Can we make it another night?
0:16:54 > 0:16:57When I've dropped you off, I've got to get ready.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01- Lynnie's invited us round.- "Us"?
0:17:01 > 0:17:03She wants to meet Gabe.
0:17:03 > 0:17:07You'll like him when you get to know him.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09That's what you said about Eddie.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11He's nothing like Eddie!
0:17:11 > 0:17:14They're all on their best behaviour in the beginning.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17He uses fabric softener!
0:17:17 > 0:17:22- What?- Fabric softener, so everything smells nice.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25No, he's not gay!
0:17:25 > 0:17:27- Well, he's still trouble.- He's not.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32He's more like Eddie than you think.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Nothing like Eddie.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Gabe's a wife beater.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06But you haven't seen Gabe for years.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11No...
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Well, I know his ex-wife.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21We used to be in that yoga class together.
0:18:24 > 0:18:29And she left him because he... used to knock her about.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38And I've been meaning to tell you but you seemed so happy.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54£4.50 a packet.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Used to be cheaper to kill yourself.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01When you're young, you think you're invincible.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08- You're strong.- Am I?
0:19:09 > 0:19:14How many times did Eddie lose his wages and you still managed?
0:19:14 > 0:19:18Because you emptied your cupboards for me.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22What about that time when he went AWOL when you were having Lynnie?
0:19:22 > 0:19:25You carried on.
0:19:25 > 0:19:26Didn't have much choice.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30And you were there...
0:19:31 > 0:19:33And I'll always be there for you...
0:19:33 > 0:19:36won't I?
0:19:36 > 0:19:38I'm your best friend.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46It's the same box as I use. We'll look identical.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48We should have done a patch test.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51"Allow at least 24 hours before."
0:19:51 > 0:19:54That's only if you've got allergies.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56What happens if we get caught?
0:19:56 > 0:19:59You're over 60 years old.
0:19:59 > 0:20:04Nobody notices, nobody cares. You could stick on a false beard and you'd still get away with it.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07It's like a nest fell on your head.
0:20:07 > 0:20:12Oh, God, now we're both going to look like Anne Widdecombe!
0:20:12 > 0:20:14See...
0:20:14 > 0:20:15Sorry.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17And, erm...
0:20:17 > 0:20:21It's looking lovely... It looks lovely at the back, actually.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Hi, Lynnie!
0:20:24 > 0:20:25She looks younger, doesn't she?
0:20:27 > 0:20:30You don't look like you!
0:20:30 > 0:20:32I just fancied a change.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35What, into single white granny?
0:20:35 > 0:20:38It's taken years off her!
0:20:38 > 0:20:40I thought you looked better before.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57DOORBELL RINGS
0:21:01 > 0:21:04KNOCK AT DOOR
0:21:09 > 0:21:12I just saw the curtains move.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Can I come in?
0:21:20 > 0:21:22What have you done to your hair?
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Nothing.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- I'm a bit busy. - You've been busy all week.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Just tell me we didn't click.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33That it was nothing special.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35It was a big mistake. Here.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58Well, I appreciate you trying.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00I'll get you a coffee.
0:24:03 > 0:24:04Yes!
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Listen, I can't stay.
0:24:09 > 0:24:10I said I'd be back in work at two.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13No, no! We've got to celebrate.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Take tomorrow off, we'll make a day of it. We'll go to the seaside.
0:24:16 > 0:24:21- I haven't been to the beach in years.- And I'll drive!
0:24:21 > 0:24:24It's motorway, it's all lorries!
0:24:24 > 0:24:27You've got to get to know the roads, have a couple of lessons
0:24:27 > 0:24:29before you can do a big trip.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31I'm going. Let's leave it!
0:24:35 > 0:24:39But I've looked at the rota, there's enough people in to cover.
0:24:39 > 0:24:40It's not convenient.
0:24:40 > 0:24:44I'd have to shift all the routes around and I've done them now.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48I wouldn't ask, only I'm owed nearly a week in lieu.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51You've been keeping a tally, then?
0:24:51 > 0:24:54This won't look good on your appraisal.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58Jobs like this aren't ten a penny. That office phone never stops ringing
0:24:58 > 0:25:01with people asking if we've any vacancies.
0:25:06 > 0:25:07CRUNCHING
0:25:09 > 0:25:11BUZZING
0:25:14 > 0:25:17I think that might be your clutch.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19You're all right. It always smells like that.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Oh, come on! We're going to have a good time!
0:25:54 > 0:25:56Mirrors, signal, manoeuvre!
0:25:56 > 0:26:00- Mirror, signal, manoeuvre!- Yeah, a woman in a car, get used to it!
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Size isn't everything, you know!
0:26:02 > 0:26:04TOOTS HORN
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Honestly! Some people!
0:26:07 > 0:26:08TOOTS HORN
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Oh, for heaven's sake! I'm all right.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25- Do you want one?- No.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31You can have a drink after this if you want.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35No, you're all right. Booze makes me sleepy during the day.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37You could have a nap on the way home.
0:26:37 > 0:26:38And it gives me headache.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42Get a magazine, you can read on the way back.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44They're all rubbish!
0:26:44 > 0:26:47- I'd like to drive.- So would I.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50You don't want to be driving in rush hour
0:26:50 > 0:26:52till you've got more experience.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54I don't mind. It'll help me learn.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Be fairer if I drive us back.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Then we'll both have done a bit.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01- You're not insured. - I drove it on the test.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05And if you'd had a crash, you'd have had to keep pretending to be me.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07I am driving us back.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11Cyn, I am not getting in that car again with you driving! I'm just not!
0:27:40 > 0:27:42MOBILE RINGS
0:27:45 > 0:27:50- Mum, are you having a good time? - Yeah.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52Are you busy?
0:27:52 > 0:27:54It's Chloe's parent's evening later.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Why?
0:27:57 > 0:28:00- Are you all right?- I'm fine!
0:28:00 > 0:28:04- Just seeing what you were up to. - All right.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06Bye, Mum.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14HORN PLAYS
0:28:26 > 0:28:29HORN PLAYING CONTINUES
0:29:15 > 0:29:16Can we stop being daft?
0:29:18 > 0:29:22You know it's a good sign when we can still have a banter.
0:29:23 > 0:29:27We couldn't argue like this if we weren't proper friends.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32Are your feet hurting?
0:29:32 > 0:29:34Yeah!
0:29:34 > 0:29:36- SHE CHUCKLES - Come on.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40- Ooh, God!- Oh, look at it.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43Come on. Let's get out of this rain.
0:29:51 > 0:29:55Do you remember when the papers used to announce a wedding,
0:29:55 > 0:29:58and they'd say, "The couple have gone on honeymoon..."
0:29:58 > 0:30:01"..On the West Coast."
0:30:01 > 0:30:04A day trip to Blackpool.
0:30:06 > 0:30:07I wish you'd let me drive.
0:30:09 > 0:30:13If I don't drive, I won't learn.
0:30:13 > 0:30:16You only learn to drive after the test.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18You said so yourself.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20Remember?
0:30:31 > 0:30:34MOBILE RINGS
0:30:37 > 0:30:40- It's Gabe.- Oh! Has he not got the message by now?
0:30:40 > 0:30:42- Ignore it!- He keeps ringing.
0:30:42 > 0:30:46- It's cos he's pushy!- I'll answer it, I'll tell him I'm not interested.
0:30:46 > 0:30:50For goodness' sake, don't encourage him. If you never answer, he'll stop.
0:30:50 > 0:30:52I'm outside your house.
0:30:52 > 0:30:55'I know you don't want to talk to me, but I need to know
0:30:55 > 0:30:58'how I screwed up the best thing that's happened to me for years.'
0:30:58 > 0:31:01If you'd any human courtesy, you'd tell me what I've done.
0:31:01 > 0:31:03Ask your ex-wife.
0:31:03 > 0:31:05- What does that mean? - 'He'll lie!'
0:31:05 > 0:31:08No wonder you clammed up when I mentioned her.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10What are you talking about?
0:31:10 > 0:31:12You're not supposed to use a mobile in the car!
0:31:12 > 0:31:14Did you knock your wife about?
0:31:15 > 0:31:18Of course he did! He'd be lying if he said he didn't!
0:31:18 > 0:31:23What sort of a question's that? No! I haven't got an ex.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25- SHE RANTS - 'I'm a widower.'
0:31:25 > 0:31:28I was married for 35 years.
0:31:28 > 0:31:34I didn't want to talk about her because it's not easy watching someone you love suffer.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39- Don't let him soft-soap you!- Why?
0:31:39 > 0:31:42C'mon Cyn, why?
0:31:42 > 0:31:43CAR HORNS HONK
0:31:43 > 0:31:45The road!
0:31:45 > 0:31:46LOUD CRASH
0:31:49 > 0:31:50SIRENS WAIL
0:31:50 > 0:31:54CYN'S VOICE ECHOES
0:32:08 > 0:32:13'Where's Theresa? I want Theresa. Get her, get Theresa.'
0:32:15 > 0:32:16'I want Theresa.'
0:32:26 > 0:32:29I need to get our Chloe back.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32There's nothing more you can do here.
0:32:33 > 0:32:36We'll ring later.
0:32:36 > 0:32:39You two go. I'm...I'm not leaving.
0:32:41 > 0:32:44I should never have let her drive.
0:32:44 > 0:32:45She's a terrible driver.
0:32:45 > 0:32:47You weren't to know.
0:32:47 > 0:32:49She passed her test.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53No, she didn't.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57I took it for her.
0:32:58 > 0:33:01- You're not allowed to do that, Grandma!- Grandma's joking.
0:33:01 > 0:33:05She's got a bizarre sense of humour.
0:33:06 > 0:33:07Haven't you?
0:33:11 > 0:33:15Here. There's a machine at the end, get yourself some chocolate, go on.
0:33:19 > 0:33:22I've heard it all now.
0:33:22 > 0:33:25That could have been you in the hospital bed.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28You've got a grandchild, for God's sake!
0:33:28 > 0:33:31- What did you think you were doing? - I don't know.
0:33:31 > 0:33:35- She's my friend.- Friend?
0:33:35 > 0:33:37She's fine,
0:33:37 > 0:33:39she's got a widow's pension.
0:33:39 > 0:33:43This comes out, and your boss will be chucking your cards at you.
0:33:43 > 0:33:47You'll lose your job. You drive for a living.
0:33:48 > 0:33:51I've had enough of this. Come on, we're going.
0:33:55 > 0:33:56Why aren't you coming?
0:33:56 > 0:33:58Cos she hasn't got anybody else.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00And you know why.
0:34:01 > 0:34:03She's a leech.
0:34:14 > 0:34:16Come here. Come here!
0:34:19 > 0:34:21The police... Come here...
0:34:21 > 0:34:24The police are going to be wanting to speak to us.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26We'll have to get our stories straight.
0:34:27 > 0:34:30I know what I need to say.
0:34:30 > 0:34:33- I'm sorry.- You're joking?
0:34:34 > 0:34:36You're not.
0:34:36 > 0:34:42You're not, are you? Oh, no! Please, you can't say anything. Please!
0:34:42 > 0:34:46It's humiliating enough for me being in here.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48I could be crippled for life!
0:34:48 > 0:34:53- It's just a few stitches. - It was that far away from an artery.
0:34:53 > 0:34:54Please, please, no!
0:34:54 > 0:34:56Don't tell anyone!
0:34:56 > 0:34:59If I don't tell the police,
0:34:59 > 0:35:02you'll get back in that car and you'll do the same thing again.
0:35:02 > 0:35:05- I won't!- You will.
0:35:05 > 0:35:07And next time you'll kill some poor beggar.
0:35:07 > 0:35:10That is a ridiculous thing to say.
0:35:10 > 0:35:14You know I'll never get behind a steering wheel again. I promise.
0:35:15 > 0:35:18- I can't trust you. - Of course you can!
0:35:18 > 0:35:20Look at me.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23Oh, oh, oh! I've got pains all up my leg!
0:35:23 > 0:35:28It's searing! Can you call a nurse, please? Just call a nurse.
0:35:30 > 0:35:33Theresa?
0:35:34 > 0:35:36Theresa!
0:36:12 > 0:36:16Right. Let's get started, shall we?
0:36:18 > 0:36:20There wouldn't even be snack machines.
0:36:20 > 0:36:24- They were my little innovation...- Can I have a word in private, Andrew?
0:36:24 > 0:36:28- You couldn't buy a Twix on site when I started.- I don't want to interrupt anything, but...
0:36:29 > 0:36:33SHE DROPS KEYS Woah, woah! What's this?
0:36:33 > 0:36:35Van keys.
0:36:35 > 0:36:38I won't be driving for a while.
0:36:40 > 0:36:42It's been a pleasure working with you, Andrew,
0:36:42 > 0:36:46- but I'm handing my notice in. - From when?
0:36:46 > 0:36:48From now.
0:36:48 > 0:36:49You can't.
0:36:49 > 0:36:53It's in your contract - standard procedure, two weeks.
0:36:53 > 0:36:57You never got round to putting me under contract.
0:36:57 > 0:37:01And while we're on standard procedure,
0:37:01 > 0:37:04I don't want to be rude or anything,
0:37:04 > 0:37:08but when you've washed under your arms, try using deodorant.
0:37:25 > 0:37:28Aren't I supposed to get a phone call?
0:37:28 > 0:37:30I want to speak to a lawyer.
0:37:30 > 0:37:32I don't know any lawyers.
0:37:32 > 0:37:35It wasn't my idea.
0:37:35 > 0:37:37Theresa suggested it, she wanted to do it.
0:37:37 > 0:37:40We've got a statement from Theresa McDonald to that effect.
0:37:40 > 0:37:42She admitted it?
0:37:42 > 0:37:45We know you were reluctant,
0:37:45 > 0:37:47that she talked you into it.
0:37:47 > 0:37:52Well... I bet that didn't need much prodding.
0:37:53 > 0:37:58'I can see the expression of holiness now.
0:37:58 > 0:37:59'"I cannot tell a lie."'
0:38:02 > 0:38:04'She thinks she's living in a Hovis advert
0:38:04 > 0:38:06'where we all have to make do and mend.'
0:38:08 > 0:38:10'She found a purse once...
0:38:10 > 0:38:13'£120 in it.
0:38:13 > 0:38:17'She had about six quid left to last her the week and she still handed it in.
0:38:17 > 0:38:21'Couldn't bear to miss a chance to show how much better she is than the rest of us.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25'She's not normal.
0:38:26 > 0:38:29'If she does overtime, she puts when she actually finishes.
0:38:29 > 0:38:32'I've told her that it makes everybody else look bad,
0:38:32 > 0:38:34'but all she's bothered about is herself.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36'She's always been the same.
0:38:38 > 0:38:41'When we were kids, her mother only had to look at her sideways
0:38:41 > 0:38:45'and she'd be spilling the beans, getting me into trouble.
0:38:45 > 0:38:49'She's a martyr, thinks you've got to work for everything.
0:38:49 > 0:38:51'She wants to take a good look round.
0:38:51 > 0:38:55'She's the only one on her street that's not knee-deep in credit.'
0:39:06 > 0:39:09'I bet she's wearing sackcloth and ashes right now.'
0:39:24 > 0:39:25Thanks!
0:39:25 > 0:39:28I'm being took to court because of you.
0:39:28 > 0:39:30We're both being prosecuted.
0:39:30 > 0:39:33I suppose you think that makes it better.
0:39:33 > 0:39:36Here, I don't want it.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41It's yours. It was a present.
0:39:43 > 0:39:46I had a panic attack today.
0:39:46 > 0:39:50I nearly ended up in hospital again.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52You know my nerves are shot,
0:39:52 > 0:39:55but you still had to shoot your big mouth off!
0:39:57 > 0:40:01I'm surprised you had the strength to get a cab here.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05I've been running round after you for years.
0:40:08 > 0:40:11I had one last chance of happiness,
0:40:11 > 0:40:15and you did everything possible to mess it up.
0:40:15 > 0:40:20And God knows I had enough bad years to warrant something better.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23Those times when I had to go to A&E...
0:40:23 > 0:40:27nights when I'd be terrified cos he'd be coming home after a skinful.
0:40:32 > 0:40:35And all the times,
0:40:35 > 0:40:37you were there with me.
0:40:38 > 0:40:42You're a bloody selfish cow,
0:40:42 > 0:40:45but you're still my friend.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08Can we go for a drink now?
0:41:10 > 0:41:13Not tonight.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16Is that a new dress?
0:41:16 > 0:41:17HOLLOW LAUGH
0:41:57 > 0:42:00TRUMPET PLAYS
0:42:19 > 0:42:24BAND PLAYS "MY FUNNY VALENTINE"
0:42:30 > 0:42:33# You're my funny valentine
0:42:36 > 0:42:39# Sweet comic valentine
0:42:40 > 0:42:45# You make me smile with my heart
0:42:51 > 0:42:55# Your looks are laughable
0:42:56 > 0:42:58# Unphotographable
0:43:00 > 0:43:05# Yet you're my favourite work of art
0:43:08 > 0:43:11# Is your figure less than Greek... #
0:43:11 > 0:43:12Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:43:18 > 0:43:19E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk