The Milkman

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:22 > 0:00:24MILKMAN WHISTLES

0:00:27 > 0:00:30WESTERN SHOWDOWN MUSIC

0:00:38 > 0:00:43AMERICAN STEEL GUITAR MUSIC

0:01:04 > 0:01:06Hey! Get off! It's not a bus!

0:01:06 > 0:01:10Just drop us at school, Bugsy! It's on your way!

0:01:10 > 0:01:14I'll tell your ma! I know where you live! Whoo!

0:01:15 > 0:01:16Yee-hah!

0:01:19 > 0:01:21- Argh!- Bugsy!

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Bugsy!

0:01:23 > 0:01:24Bugsy, stop!

0:01:26 > 0:01:28- Dylan! Are you all right? - Are you OK?

0:01:28 > 0:01:35- You slipped. You must have slipped. - Me gloves. Am I bleeding?

0:01:35 > 0:01:40- You need to go to hospital. - I'm all right. It's nothing.

0:01:40 > 0:01:42Are you sure you're all right?

0:01:42 > 0:01:47I'm going to be dead tonight. Me ma's going to kill me.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49- You could've killed yourself! - He's sound!

0:01:49 > 0:01:54- No more lifts, right? No more. - We could sit in the front.

0:01:54 > 0:01:58No. I'm not insured. That's it. You walk from now on.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Game over.

0:02:15 > 0:02:19And Dylan put a big hole in the elbow of his blazer this morning.

0:02:19 > 0:02:20Oh, aye? Here we go.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22It's not about the blazer. I'll patch it up.

0:02:22 > 0:02:25How much do you want? 20? 30?

0:02:25 > 0:02:29It's not the blazer. It's the landlord.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32Tenancy agreement's up next month and he's raising the rent,

0:02:32 > 0:02:37"to reflect the local market". And my housing benefit won't cover it.

0:02:37 > 0:02:42- He wants an extra 25 quid...a week. - What? Can he do that?

0:02:42 > 0:02:45- That pair next door, it's what they pay.- But even so...

0:02:45 > 0:02:48I don't want to move, Clive. I grew up here.

0:02:48 > 0:02:52I used to play in these streets. And me mum's round the corner,

0:02:52 > 0:02:55the kids have got their mates, their cousins, the school.

0:02:56 > 0:02:58But an extra 100 quid a month...

0:02:59 > 0:03:03It's not a problem. I can cover it...

0:03:03 > 0:03:06Oh, God, Clive! Thanks, mate!

0:03:06 > 0:03:08..if you let me move back in.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12It's a family house. Let's be a family again.

0:03:14 > 0:03:17Why not? Seriously. I love you.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20I love the kids. Why not?

0:03:35 > 0:03:36KNOCKING

0:03:36 > 0:03:39Goal! The crowd goes wild!

0:03:39 > 0:03:41SHE MOUTHS WORDS AND KNOCKS WINDOW

0:03:43 > 0:03:47You're OK then? No permanent brain damage or nothing?

0:03:47 > 0:03:50What are you doing here?

0:03:50 > 0:03:52I was worried. Serious business, head injuries.

0:03:52 > 0:03:56I told you. It's sound. We're sound.

0:03:56 > 0:03:57Good. I got you something.

0:03:59 > 0:04:03- Why?- Eh, I've had you in a hospital bed all day.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05Share it with your mates. It's better than grapes.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08Don't say why when someone's giving you a chocolate bar.

0:04:10 > 0:04:12Oi! What are you doing?

0:04:12 > 0:04:13It's all right, Dad.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15Why's he giving you that? What's he saying?

0:04:15 > 0:04:18Erm, I'm sorry, mate. Is this your lad?

0:04:18 > 0:04:21- I was worried about him. - He's the milkman.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23Stop it! He is! He is the milkman.

0:04:23 > 0:04:27I don't care what he does for a living. He's a nonce! You can tell just by looking at him.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32Why won't I have you back? There's your answer!

0:04:33 > 0:04:35You're knocking off the milkman?

0:04:35 > 0:04:38No! Your temper! Just go home!

0:04:38 > 0:04:39Go!

0:04:45 > 0:04:50- Are you and him not together then? - In his dreams. Hold your head back.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53- Honestly, there's no need. - Let me just clean it up for you.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56I was asking for it, really. I didn't think.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58Do as your told!

0:05:20 > 0:05:22I just wanted to put my mind at rest.

0:05:22 > 0:05:26- I was going to knock and see how he was.- It was a nice thing to do.

0:05:26 > 0:05:30- And what's the thanks you get? - You can't give kids chocolate, not in this day and age.

0:05:30 > 0:05:36Most people'd be giving them ASBOs. I know they've been pestering you.

0:05:36 > 0:05:39They're good kids. Just loads of energy.

0:05:39 > 0:05:44They think it's ADHD next door. But they're just snobs.

0:05:45 > 0:05:49- I'm sorry about the name calling. - Sounds like they deserve it.

0:05:49 > 0:05:54No, what the kids have been calling you. It won't happen again.

0:05:54 > 0:05:58They call me Bugsy. Everyone calls me Bugsy.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00You don't mind?

0:06:00 > 0:06:02It's after the film, Bugsy Malone.

0:06:02 > 0:06:08- Oh, right. OK. - My name's Maloney. Brian Maloney.

0:06:08 > 0:06:14But that was me dad's name as well, so... He was a milkman.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17He used to deliver round here, and on his way back to the depot

0:06:17 > 0:06:19he'd have kids hitching a lift to school.

0:06:19 > 0:06:24It was like a Calcutta bus sometimes, he used to say.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26He'd shout at them to get off, but they took no notice.

0:06:26 > 0:06:30He thought it was great. He loved kids, me dad.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33- I remember him.- Do you?

0:06:35 > 0:06:37What's your name?

0:06:38 > 0:06:41Are you OK? What's up?

0:06:41 > 0:06:46Nothing. Just...happy days.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51Ally. My name's Ally.

0:06:51 > 0:06:55Anyway, when your two started hopping on, I could've stopped it.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58- But I kind of liked it. - There's no harm done.

0:06:59 > 0:07:03I might bunk a ride myself if it gets me chocolate.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08- Do you like being a milk man? - I love it.

0:07:08 > 0:07:11It's great that time in the morning. Dead peaceful.

0:07:11 > 0:07:14When everyone's asleep, I go to work.

0:07:14 > 0:07:19When everyone gets up, I go home. I'm like Father Christmas, but six days a week.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24Do you work?

0:07:24 > 0:07:29School dinner lady. Terrible money, but the hours are handy.

0:07:33 > 0:07:34Oh, sorry...

0:07:34 > 0:07:36It's OK. Shall I get you a fresh cup?

0:07:36 > 0:07:39No, no, I'd best be going.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46- Will you be OK driving? - Yes, it's not far.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49I've got a flat above the hairdresser's on Rice Lane.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51OK. Thanks again.

0:07:51 > 0:07:56See you Friday....for my money.

0:08:07 > 0:08:08Bye.

0:08:11 > 0:08:17- Now we're quits! In a bit, Bugsy. - Get back to your milk cart.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29- Are you completely stupid?- What?

0:08:29 > 0:08:32Or just naive? You're like a three-day old chick,

0:08:32 > 0:08:34- and there's wolves out there, you moron!- Wolves?

0:08:34 > 0:08:37Wolves, hyenas, vultures, it's a zoo out there! It's a zoo!

0:08:37 > 0:08:39What are you talking about?

0:08:39 > 0:08:41Did you buy a kid a bar of chocolate?

0:08:41 > 0:08:45That's what Loud Linda's saying in the office. Is it true?

0:08:45 > 0:08:49- And this kid fell off the back of your float?- Yeah.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52Brilliant! They'll be banging in a claim before the wrapper's off!

0:08:52 > 0:08:55You might as well admit liability and give them cab fare to the solicitor's.

0:08:55 > 0:08:58- It wasn't like that.- Put me out of business, why don't you?

0:08:58 > 0:09:01Tell you what, when you've finished here, cut to the chase.

0:09:01 > 0:09:05Go the office, get everyone's P45, and hand them all out, with a selection box!

0:09:05 > 0:09:09Is it not enough that we are being slowly strangled to death by the supermarkets?

0:09:09 > 0:09:14I was just showing a bit of... human kindness.

0:09:15 > 0:09:16What?!

0:09:16 > 0:09:18And I got it back in return.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21His mum knew it wasn't my fault and you don't have to worry.

0:09:21 > 0:09:24They won't be claiming compensation. They're a nice family.

0:09:24 > 0:09:26So how did you get the black eye?

0:09:28 > 0:09:32We should've brought him yesterday, but his mum thought a couple of paracetamols would do the trick.

0:09:32 > 0:09:36She'll never forgive herself if it's something serious.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39A bang on the head can lead to all sorts, can't it?

0:09:39 > 0:09:44Haemorrhaging, concussion, ADHD...

0:09:44 > 0:09:46You're only entitled to two bedrooms.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49Cos the twins are lads, they're expected to share.

0:09:49 > 0:09:52If one of them was a girl they could have a room each?

0:09:52 > 0:09:55If you really want a three-bedroom property, you'll have to look

0:09:55 > 0:09:56in the cheaper, hard seller areas.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59But you'll get less money than you do now,

0:09:59 > 0:10:01because the rules changed in April.

0:10:01 > 0:10:05Housing benefit once covered anything in the bottom half of rents.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07Now it only covers the bottom 30%.

0:10:07 > 0:10:12So I'm looking at the cheapest 30% of two-bedroom houses?

0:10:13 > 0:10:17If you were escaping from domestic violence or something, it would help.

0:10:34 > 0:10:38COMPUTER GAME BLEEPS

0:10:38 > 0:10:40Why aren't you in school?

0:10:40 > 0:10:42My nan took me to the hospital.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46- He's been having headaches. - Then why didn't you call ME?

0:10:46 > 0:10:49And that's no good for headaches.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54And neither's that!

0:10:56 > 0:10:58I'm just keeping your options open.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01It's in the system now. It's recorded.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03That's how you want me to bring my sons up?

0:11:03 > 0:11:06- A man shows you kindness so you take him to the cleaners. - He'll be insured.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09You're teaching them to lie for money?

0:11:09 > 0:11:10Way of the world.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13Look, I've seen a solicitor...

0:11:13 > 0:11:14Oh, for God's sake, Mum!

0:11:14 > 0:11:17He'll take it on. No win, no fee, which means he thinks you'll win.

0:11:17 > 0:11:21- Throw in the attention deficit thing...- Dylan does not have ADHD.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24He could have, if you took him to a specialist...

0:11:24 > 0:11:27I'm not doing it, Mum. I'm not teaching my kids this lesson.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30- I don't care if it is the way of the world.- OK, OK.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Move in with us then.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35Me and your dad, you three, Steph and her two, and the dog.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38It'll be a squeeze but we'll manage.

0:11:38 > 0:11:42- You know that's not going to work. - I'd rather that than see you with Clive again.

0:11:42 > 0:11:46If you're going to find somewhere half-decent you'll need a deposit

0:11:46 > 0:11:48and a few bob behind you.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51Just think about it.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06# Ready for love

0:12:09 > 0:12:13# We were so close

0:12:13 > 0:12:16# It was scary

0:12:16 > 0:12:19# We were that close

0:12:19 > 0:12:21# I couldn't tell you

0:12:25 > 0:12:27# Ready for love

0:12:27 > 0:12:29# We were that close

0:12:32 > 0:12:33# To getting it right... #

0:12:33 > 0:12:37- Sorry, it's that time again. - Hiya. How much is it?

0:12:37 > 0:12:39Er...

0:12:39 > 0:12:41£8.12.

0:12:41 > 0:12:42How's Dylan?

0:12:44 > 0:12:46Yeah, erm...do you want to step in for a minute?

0:12:48 > 0:12:49Are you sure?

0:12:49 > 0:12:54- It's freezing out there. Come in while I find my purse.- Thanks.

0:12:54 > 0:12:58Look at that. Kate and Wills next door, that is.

0:12:58 > 0:13:01On to the council after Dylan broke the aerial on one of their cars.

0:13:01 > 0:13:05I didn't argue. I paid for it. I sent him round to apologise. Not good enough.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08Kids can't play in their own street any more.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10Sit in there. I won't be a minute.

0:13:29 > 0:13:33God, this is embarrassing. I thought I had it.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35Can I pay you next week?

0:13:35 > 0:13:38- Yeah, yeah, no problems.- Thanks.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40Sit down.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46How's Dylan?

0:13:48 > 0:13:51He is OK? Is something wrong?

0:13:51 > 0:13:53No. I just wanted the chance to talk to you.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Oh, right. Great.

0:13:56 > 0:13:58Always up for a chat, me.

0:13:59 > 0:14:03I-I hope you're not thinking of moving, are you? You're my last customer on this street.

0:14:03 > 0:14:06It's going upmarket. Truth is...

0:14:06 > 0:14:08I can't afford it any more.

0:14:10 > 0:14:13That's why I asked you in.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18Is this... Is this about cancelling your order?

0:14:20 > 0:14:23It's OK, I understand.

0:14:23 > 0:14:27I know we can't compete on price, but...

0:14:27 > 0:14:30I need more than a few pennies off a pint of milk.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33I need some kind of windfall.

0:14:33 > 0:14:34You missed your chance.

0:14:34 > 0:14:38My boss reckons you could've sued us after that accident.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40I have been thinking about it.

0:14:42 > 0:14:43Oh, right.

0:14:45 > 0:14:48But he's been getting these headaches.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50Oh, God!

0:14:50 > 0:14:53Is-is he all right? Has he seen a doctor?

0:14:53 > 0:14:58I just wanted you to understand if I do make a claim, it's nothing personal.

0:15:00 > 0:15:01Of course, yeah.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03Right. Good.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Don't let me keep you.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19Well, how long d'you need?

0:15:19 > 0:15:21'End of the month.'

0:15:21 > 0:15:23When the rent's due?

0:15:23 > 0:15:25- That's my deadline, yeah. - 'Come on, Al,'

0:15:25 > 0:15:29don't look at it like that. I've changed. Got my head sorted.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Clive, if you move in, I'll lose all sorts of benefits.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34I've had a small promotion. I can cover it and the rent rise.

0:15:34 > 0:15:39'Come on, Al, it'll be great. Great for us, great for the kids.'

0:15:41 > 0:15:45What we'll do is send Dylan to a specialist for an assessment.

0:15:45 > 0:15:48He's a good man. I've worked with him many times and I'm super confident

0:15:48 > 0:15:50he'll get us the correct diagnosis.

0:15:50 > 0:15:53And then he'll be labelled forever.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56Well, let's not pre-judge the outcome.

0:16:02 > 0:16:06If he's prescribed something that doesn't mean he has to take it.

0:16:06 > 0:16:08- And labels. Who cares about labels? - I do.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10That fancy label on your bag doesn't make it Italian!

0:16:10 > 0:16:14Someone writing "ADHD" on a form doesn't make Dylan a nutter.

0:16:16 > 0:16:18You think this is a fake?

0:16:18 > 0:16:22What I mean is, whatever the label says, it's still the same bag.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24He got it in Milan after United played Inter.

0:16:24 > 0:16:28It was Kirkby Market. I've seen them.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31The money he saved probably paid for the trip.

0:16:31 > 0:16:35You can't trust him. So do this, you'll be quids in,

0:16:35 > 0:16:37and you can keep him out.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52What's this the kids have been saying?

0:16:52 > 0:16:55- You banging in a claim against the milkman?- Well, we'll see.

0:16:55 > 0:16:57I knew he was a wrong-un.

0:16:58 > 0:17:01- How much is it worth? - Why? Do you want your half?

0:17:01 > 0:17:05- No, but if you think it's the answer to your money problems...- I don't.

0:17:05 > 0:17:10- Even if you win it'll take ages to come through. My sister's... - I want you to move back in.

0:17:13 > 0:17:14Are you serious?

0:17:15 > 0:17:17The kids need stability.

0:17:20 > 0:17:23- Do they know?- Not yet.

0:17:24 > 0:17:28- I'll call them. They'll be made up. - No, hang on. Let me tell them, tomorrow.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31- Why wait? Let's do it now. - Cos they're at my mum's tonight.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33She thinks I'm out with Lorraine.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36We can celebrate. Just the two of us.

0:17:39 > 0:17:40OK.

0:17:51 > 0:17:53Used to be house for life,

0:17:53 > 0:17:56people committed to the place.

0:17:56 > 0:18:01But now... No, they're not homes, they're investments.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03Rungs on a ladder.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05And the neighbours are nuisances.

0:18:05 > 0:18:08Or strangers.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11And the streets aren't for playing in, they're for parking in!

0:18:11 > 0:18:14Cars are more important than kids.

0:18:16 > 0:18:20And, hey, one day you'll get old and sick.

0:18:20 > 0:18:24You'll get old and sick and you'll need looking after and loving,

0:18:24 > 0:18:29and all you'll have is the RAC!

0:18:29 > 0:18:31Come on, Al. Let's get inside.

0:18:31 > 0:18:33No. I was here first and I'm going nowhere!

0:18:33 > 0:18:35Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.

0:18:59 > 0:19:00Ally.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04Ally! Coffee's here.

0:19:06 > 0:19:08Ally!

0:21:03 > 0:21:04You're off your head.

0:21:04 > 0:21:08I need the money now, Steph. Compensation claims take forever.

0:21:08 > 0:21:11- You could borrow off the strength of it.- I'm in enough debt.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14You don't have to do this. Move in with me and Mum.

0:21:14 > 0:21:15For a while.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17I can put up with him for a while.

0:21:17 > 0:21:21- Can you manage?- Yep.- Course you can. You take that one.

0:21:21 > 0:21:22He's not that bad.

0:21:28 > 0:21:31So it's just until your money comes through?

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Or I get a full-time job, yeah.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37I know what I'm doing.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39We're home!

0:21:39 > 0:21:42'Take them straight up to my room, mate. Good lad.'

0:21:42 > 0:21:44FOOTSTEPS

0:21:46 > 0:21:50Hiya, Rita. Steph.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53I wasn't expecting a welcome party.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55KNOCKS ON DOOR

0:22:01 > 0:22:05Oh, hello. Um...milk money, please.

0:22:05 > 0:22:07£18.56.

0:22:08 > 0:22:11It's two weeks. And an extra pint from Tuesday.

0:22:14 > 0:22:18It's £1.25 for four pints at our place.

0:22:18 > 0:22:22Eight pints for two quid. And I get staff discount, 10%.

0:22:22 > 0:22:23You can't compete.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25Maybe not on price...

0:22:25 > 0:22:29My son still gets headaches, and you're asking me for money?

0:22:29 > 0:22:32No, no, no. We'll deduct it from the damages.

0:22:41 > 0:22:44Guess who we've had on the blower.

0:22:44 > 0:22:45Who?

0:22:45 > 0:22:49The Milky Bar Kid's old feller, that's who. He wants you sacked.

0:22:49 > 0:22:52And we've had a letter off their solicitor.

0:22:54 > 0:22:55Do you get it now?

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Do you?

0:22:57 > 0:23:00You take pity on them, put your hand through the bars, give them a stroke,

0:23:00 > 0:23:04offer them a finger of Fudge, and they take your arm off at the elbow!

0:23:05 > 0:23:07Life lesson for you, Clueless.

0:23:07 > 0:23:09Learn it,

0:23:09 > 0:23:11and learn it good.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35What's up?

0:23:35 > 0:23:37Different milkman.

0:23:38 > 0:23:40Noisier.

0:23:45 > 0:23:48I had the child molester sacked.

0:23:50 > 0:23:52DOOR BUZZER

0:23:54 > 0:23:56Hello?

0:23:56 > 0:23:59Is that...Bugsy?

0:23:59 > 0:24:01Yeah. Who's this?

0:24:01 > 0:24:04Ally. Bridgestone Road. The twins' mum.

0:24:04 > 0:24:07- Can I have a word? - Yeah. Come on up.

0:24:07 > 0:24:08BUZZES HER IN

0:24:22 > 0:24:23Did I wake you?

0:24:25 > 0:24:30No, no. I'm sorry it's a mess. I've been erm...

0:24:30 > 0:24:31I've been...I've been asleep, yeah.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34I was going to tidy the place when I got up.

0:24:36 > 0:24:41- I just wanted to say I'm sorry you've been sacked.- I haven't.

0:24:41 > 0:24:42We've got a new milkman.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44Full-Fat Freddy.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46We swapped rounds.

0:24:46 > 0:24:50The boss thought it was best to keep my distance while the, erm...

0:24:50 > 0:24:52the legal thing was...you know.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54You're going through with it?

0:24:55 > 0:24:57Yeah.

0:24:58 > 0:25:02You've come to see me because you thought I'd been sacked?

0:25:03 > 0:25:05Sorry to bother you. I'll get off. Let you sleep.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07No, no, it's fine.

0:25:07 > 0:25:08Honestly, I'd better go.

0:25:08 > 0:25:10I will be sacked if you win.

0:25:12 > 0:25:15I didn't mean for this to happen.

0:25:15 > 0:25:18It's only a job. I'm sick of it anyway.

0:25:18 > 0:25:20You told me you loved it.

0:25:23 > 0:25:25Do you want a cup of tea?

0:25:26 > 0:25:28Why are you so nice all the time?

0:25:30 > 0:25:33You've come all this way. It's YOU being nice.

0:25:37 > 0:25:42Two weeks ago, I was a single parent with problem children,

0:25:42 > 0:25:44getting forced out of her home.

0:25:45 > 0:25:49Now I'm a respectable married woman with a family...

0:25:50 > 0:25:53..prostituting myself for £25 a week.

0:25:53 > 0:25:56What? Does he force you to...?

0:25:56 > 0:26:01- Give me some credit! - Then why are you saying...? - Because I'll settle for it.

0:26:01 > 0:26:03Sooner or later, I'll settle for it.

0:26:06 > 0:26:07But that's not good for me.

0:26:07 > 0:26:09I don't even like him.

0:26:10 > 0:26:14- So kick him out. - I need the money.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18I love that house.

0:26:18 > 0:26:23With my little job and housing benefit, child benefit and the rest,

0:26:23 > 0:26:25it used to be enough.

0:26:25 > 0:26:27Not any more.

0:26:27 > 0:26:28So what else can I do?

0:26:30 > 0:26:34All the DSS places are pigsties and slums.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36Anything decent needs a deposit which is...

0:26:36 > 0:26:43which is why I let my mum talk me into this compensation scam in the first place.

0:26:44 > 0:26:46Cos it is a scam.

0:26:47 > 0:26:50There's nothing wrong with Dylan.

0:26:51 > 0:26:52I'm sorry.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56It's OK.

0:26:56 > 0:26:59No, it's not! I'm a cow.

0:26:59 > 0:27:02I'll get in touch with my solicitor and I'll get him to drop it. I promise.

0:27:03 > 0:27:08But if you don't drop it, and you win, you could get rid of Clive.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13How can I win after what I've just told you?

0:27:13 > 0:27:14Go for it.

0:27:19 > 0:27:21What is the matter with you?

0:27:21 > 0:27:25I'm a bit deaf. What have you just said? Something about a scam? Didn't even hear it.

0:27:25 > 0:27:29No, seriously. What is the matter with you?

0:27:29 > 0:27:30Nothing.

0:27:32 > 0:27:36You don't have much luck with women, do you?

0:27:37 > 0:27:39Do you know why?

0:27:40 > 0:27:42You don't stick up for yourself.

0:27:44 > 0:27:47You're a lovely, generous, thoughtful man,

0:27:47 > 0:27:50which is great.

0:27:50 > 0:27:52But you're a pushover.

0:27:52 > 0:27:53Which isn't.

0:27:53 > 0:27:57You need the money. It's no skin off my nose.

0:27:57 > 0:27:58You love your job.

0:27:59 > 0:28:02380 doors a day. Every one of them shut.

0:28:03 > 0:28:05It's about time I moved on.

0:28:05 > 0:28:07Really?

0:28:07 > 0:28:08Yeah.

0:28:16 > 0:28:17Thank you.

0:28:17 > 0:28:19It's worth it already.

0:28:21 > 0:28:23I've got to go.

0:28:23 > 0:28:25Wait, listen.

0:28:28 > 0:28:31Can I...see you again sometime?

0:28:32 > 0:28:34I don't think that'd be a good idea.

0:28:36 > 0:28:37OK.

0:28:37 > 0:28:39We need to keep our distance.

0:28:39 > 0:28:42If we're seen together, it'll look like we set the whole thing up.

0:28:42 > 0:28:45I didn't think of that.

0:28:45 > 0:28:48Does your offer still stand?

0:28:49 > 0:28:51Of course. Yeah.

0:28:53 > 0:28:55Goodbye.

0:29:16 > 0:29:19DOOR BUZZER

0:29:21 > 0:29:23Hello?

0:29:23 > 0:29:24Can I tell you something?

0:29:24 > 0:29:27'It's a bit personal, but I mean it as a favour.'

0:29:27 > 0:29:29Yeah, go on.

0:29:30 > 0:29:33Your name? Bugsy?

0:29:33 > 0:29:35It's not about Bugsy Malone.

0:29:35 > 0:29:37You know that, don't you?

0:29:39 > 0:29:40It's Bugs Bunny.

0:29:40 > 0:29:42Your hare lip.

0:29:42 > 0:29:44People are laughing at you behind your back.

0:29:46 > 0:29:50Stand up for yourself, Brian. You're a beautiful person.

0:29:52 > 0:29:54And you could do a lot, lot better than me.

0:30:05 > 0:30:08What are you doing? You're not allowed in here!

0:30:08 > 0:30:10- I want my old round back! - What?

0:30:10 > 0:30:13- I want my old round back! - Can't hear you.

0:30:13 > 0:30:15I want my old round back!

0:30:17 > 0:30:19What's got in to you?

0:30:19 > 0:30:22Nothing. It was my dad's round, and I want it back.

0:30:39 > 0:30:41# If you are lonely

0:30:41 > 0:30:45# I will call

0:30:45 > 0:30:47# If you are poorly

0:30:48 > 0:30:50# I will send poetry

0:30:54 > 0:30:57# I love you

0:30:57 > 0:31:01# I am the milkman of human kindness

0:31:01 > 0:31:05# I will leave an extra pint

0:31:21 > 0:31:24# If you are sleeping

0:31:24 > 0:31:26# I will wait

0:31:28 > 0:31:30# If your bed is wet

0:31:30 > 0:31:33# I'll dry your tears

0:31:36 > 0:31:40# I love you

0:31:40 > 0:31:44# I am the milkman of human kindness

0:31:44 > 0:31:47# I will leave an extra pint. #

0:31:47 > 0:31:49KNOCKS ON DOOR

0:31:53 > 0:31:56You owe me £18.56.

0:31:58 > 0:31:59I'll get my purse.

0:32:01 > 0:32:03You think I'm naive or something.

0:32:03 > 0:32:06But I'd rather be twice as naive as me than half as cynical as you.

0:32:06 > 0:32:08Two things, for your information.

0:32:08 > 0:32:12Number one, who said this was a hare lip?

0:32:12 > 0:32:13What if someone bottled me?

0:32:13 > 0:32:17A regular customer, beating up his kid, and I stepped in.

0:32:17 > 0:32:19Would I need your pity then?

0:32:19 > 0:32:21And number two. Bugs Bunny's a rabbit.

0:32:21 > 0:32:24And rabbits are completely different from hares.

0:32:24 > 0:32:27They live underground, loads of them all together,

0:32:27 > 0:32:30and, er, well everyone knows what rabbits are like.

0:32:30 > 0:32:33Hares live on their own until they find a mate.

0:32:33 > 0:32:37And then they pair off. So anyone who thinks my name's something to do with a hare lip...

0:32:38 > 0:32:39..the laugh's on them.

0:32:41 > 0:32:42I'm sorry.

0:32:44 > 0:32:46But it still bothers you, doesn't it?

0:32:46 > 0:32:47No.

0:32:47 > 0:32:49- Who is it?- No-one.

0:32:51 > 0:32:55Why do you go round looking at your feet all the time?

0:32:57 > 0:32:59How much will you get if you win your claim?

0:32:59 > 0:33:01I don't know. Few thousand.

0:33:01 > 0:33:04Won't make you happy.

0:33:04 > 0:33:06So drop him...

0:33:06 > 0:33:07and go out with me.

0:33:09 > 0:33:12Because I can. Make you happy, I mean.

0:33:14 > 0:33:17- Give up thousands of pounds for a date with you?- Yeah.

0:33:17 > 0:33:20Have you been hypnotised?

0:33:20 > 0:33:21It'll be worth it.

0:33:22 > 0:33:25In the end, if you don't like me, at least you'll like yourself.

0:33:27 > 0:33:30Not if my kids end up living in a slum.

0:33:30 > 0:33:32You'd better go.

0:33:35 > 0:33:37What are you doing here?

0:33:37 > 0:33:39Delivering milk,

0:33:39 > 0:33:41collecting money...

0:33:42 > 0:33:44..and asking your wife out.

0:33:44 > 0:33:45You what?

0:33:45 > 0:33:47You think I'm a pushover. I'm not a pushover.

0:33:47 > 0:33:48No!

0:33:50 > 0:33:54- You got me on that one.- Who do you think you are?- Stop, now.

0:33:54 > 0:33:56Bugsy Maloney. That's who I am.

0:33:56 > 0:34:02Named by my dad after he started a cake fight at my eighth birthday party.

0:34:02 > 0:34:05- Are you trying to wind me up, mate? - No.

0:34:05 > 0:34:08I'm trying to get off with your wife.

0:34:08 > 0:34:11Say it again. Go on, say it again, mate!

0:34:11 > 0:34:14If you come near my door again, I'll kill you! Understood?

0:34:14 > 0:34:17She doesn't want you living with her. Tell him.

0:34:17 > 0:34:19Stand up for yourself.

0:34:19 > 0:34:21Just go! Now!

0:34:21 > 0:34:23And you, get inside! Get in!

0:34:23 > 0:34:25I thought you'd changed!

0:34:25 > 0:34:28Come on, then. Let's fight out in the street like men.

0:34:28 > 0:34:31Not in court, like cowards. Come on!

0:34:31 > 0:34:34Listen to yourself.

0:34:34 > 0:34:37- Isn't this what you want?- No!

0:34:37 > 0:34:41And I'm cancelling the milk. I'm going to ASDA from now on, like everyone else.

0:34:42 > 0:34:43I...

0:34:59 > 0:35:01Why's he saying all that?

0:35:01 > 0:35:04I don't know. We're suing him.

0:35:04 > 0:35:06He'll lose his job. He's nuts.

0:35:06 > 0:35:09Do you want me here, Ally?

0:35:09 > 0:35:12- Oh, shut up! - Do you want me here? - I asked you to move in, didn't I?

0:35:12 > 0:35:14I'm paying rent. But when am I moving in properly?

0:35:14 > 0:35:17- How much more stuff have you got? - You know what I mean!

0:35:17 > 0:35:19I'm the father of them kids and your husband!

0:35:19 > 0:35:23- I'm not the lodger! - Keep your voice down.

0:35:35 > 0:35:36You don't want me here, do you?

0:35:42 > 0:35:45You can't be thinking of swapping me for him.

0:35:55 > 0:35:57I do want you here.

0:36:09 > 0:36:12How much does this house mean to you?

0:36:12 > 0:36:15I'm not letting anyone throw us out. I'll tell you that much.

0:36:17 > 0:36:19"Us" meaning me as well?

0:36:20 > 0:36:22Yeah.

0:37:22 > 0:37:24Clive's promised them a trip to Florida now.

0:37:24 > 0:37:27It's not up to him how you spend the money.

0:37:27 > 0:37:28It's your claim.

0:37:28 > 0:37:32There won't be any money. Not if, erm...Bugsy tells them I admitted it was a scam.

0:37:32 > 0:37:36It's your word against his. And no-one will believe him.

0:37:36 > 0:37:39- No-one'll believe you'd do something so stupid! - Clive'll believe it.

0:37:39 > 0:37:42He'll be there. If Bugsy spills the beans, it could get nasty.

0:37:42 > 0:37:46- You've got to go through with this, love.- It's your only way out.

0:37:51 > 0:37:53Are you ready to make Mr and Mrs Norbury an offer?

0:37:53 > 0:37:57Yes. I'd like to offer them my butt cheeks to kiss.

0:37:57 > 0:38:00I don't think that's very helpful.

0:38:00 > 0:38:03- I could provide them with kneepads if you want. - If this goes to court...

0:38:03 > 0:38:07- We'll fight it every step of the way.- Then there's nothing more to discuss.

0:38:08 > 0:38:11From what I've heard, the kid's always been a tearaway.

0:38:11 > 0:38:14They jumped on the back of a milk float without permission.

0:38:14 > 0:38:19It was his own fault he fell off. There's no way my driver can be held responsible.

0:38:19 > 0:38:21I did slow down to let them get on.

0:38:25 > 0:38:26What?

0:38:28 > 0:38:32And I was deliberately swerving to make it more enjoyable.

0:38:32 > 0:38:33I, erm...

0:38:33 > 0:38:39- I am a bit responsible. - In which case you might want to reassess your previous offer?

0:38:39 > 0:38:41I'll withdraw the kneepads.

0:38:41 > 0:38:45I don't know what your game is, but let me tell you this,

0:38:45 > 0:38:48I've been looking into this pair of con artists.

0:38:48 > 0:38:52If their kid had ADHD, he had it long before his bang on the head.

0:38:52 > 0:38:53How would you know?

0:38:53 > 0:38:57I do my homework. Before the accident he was getting into lumber, school suspension.

0:38:57 > 0:39:00After it, good as gold.

0:39:00 > 0:39:03So if anything, it knocked some sense into him.

0:39:03 > 0:39:06You should be paying us for services rendered.

0:39:06 > 0:39:11- Dylan isn't doing better because of a bang on the head. - Save it for the court, love.

0:39:11 > 0:39:14- It's because he's happy. - It's the piercing headaches.

0:39:14 > 0:39:18He's in too much pain to get in any bother these days.

0:39:18 > 0:39:20Me and Clive split up for a while.

0:39:20 > 0:39:24I was under a lot of stress. It looked like we might have to move.

0:39:24 > 0:39:25But it's sorted now.

0:39:25 > 0:39:29His dad's back. We're a family again.

0:39:30 > 0:39:35Things have settled down and he's just...happy.

0:39:36 > 0:39:38Happy...

0:39:38 > 0:39:39with headaches.

0:39:41 > 0:39:43Clive.

0:39:43 > 0:39:48Let's be thankful for what we've got and drop this.

0:39:48 > 0:39:49Forget it ever happened.

0:40:06 > 0:40:09What you just said.

0:40:09 > 0:40:12Are you trying to get into my wife's knickers?

0:40:12 > 0:40:14I was telling the truth.

0:40:14 > 0:40:17And I'm glad Dylan's OK.

0:40:18 > 0:40:22He's not just OK, he's happy. We're all happy.

0:40:22 > 0:40:24I know.

0:40:35 > 0:40:36Any notes for me?

0:40:36 > 0:40:37One.

0:40:37 > 0:40:39You won't believe it.

0:40:39 > 0:40:42That crazy woman, the compo merchant from Bridgestone Road,

0:40:42 > 0:40:45she wants you to start delivering again.

0:40:47 > 0:40:49Two pints of semi?

0:40:52 > 0:40:54Three.

0:40:54 > 0:40:56I'd tell her to sling her hook. But it's up to you.

0:40:56 > 0:40:58It's your commission.

0:41:04 > 0:41:07# If you are sleeping

0:41:07 > 0:41:09# I will wait

0:41:11 > 0:41:13# If your bed is wet

0:41:13 > 0:41:16# I will dry your tears

0:41:18 > 0:41:23# I love you... #

0:41:23 > 0:41:27I have to put the kids first. You know that, don't you?

0:41:27 > 0:41:29Yeah.

0:41:33 > 0:41:40# Hold my hand for me I'm waking up

0:41:40 > 0:41:45# Hold my hand for me I'm waking up... #

0:41:45 > 0:41:46Thank you.

0:41:46 > 0:41:52# Won't you hold my hand? I'm waking up

0:41:52 > 0:41:59# Hold my hand for me I'm waking up... #

0:41:59 > 0:42:03You don't get that kind of service at Waitrose, do you?

0:42:05 > 0:42:08I can add you to my round, if you like.

0:42:12 > 0:42:13I'll see you Friday.

0:42:15 > 0:42:17See you.

0:42:17 > 0:42:19# If you are falling

0:42:19 > 0:42:22# I'll put out my hands

0:42:22 > 0:42:25# If you feel bitter

0:42:25 > 0:42:29# I will understand

0:42:31 > 0:42:34# I love you

0:42:34 > 0:42:38# I'm the milkman of human kindness

0:42:38 > 0:42:43# I will leave an extra pint. #

0:42:51 > 0:42:54Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:42:54 > 0:42:58E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk