0:00:11 > 0:00:13CLOCKS TICK
0:00:24 > 0:00:26ALARM SOUNDS
0:00:32 > 0:00:35MUSIC: "Baby Love" by The Supremes
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Awww. I love you too.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06PHONE RINGS
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Hiya. How are you?
0:01:23 > 0:01:28I feel like Janis Joplin about five minutes before she died.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Actually, make that five minutes after.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33He's just getting ready.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36No, he doesn't suspect anything.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43Yeah, all right, Yeah, I'll see you at half two. Bye.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52Who was that?
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Some stupid call centre.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57What, at this time?
0:01:58 > 0:02:00It's probably the middle of the afternoon in Bangalore
0:02:00 > 0:02:02or wherever they're calling from.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03Right.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05HORN TOOTS OUTSIDE
0:02:06 > 0:02:10We're only working in town. Do you fancy meeting up for dinner?
0:02:10 > 0:02:11D'you mind if I skip it?
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Just, I was planning on working right through
0:02:14 > 0:02:15and getting my account sorted.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17All right, yeah, no worries.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Bye, Bear. See you after.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Morning.
0:02:55 > 0:02:56Oh! Morning.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40- I'm starving.- Yeah?
0:03:40 > 0:03:43That chippy round the corner's meant to be good.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46I said I'd see Christina for dinner today.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Oh, two timing me, is it?
0:03:48 > 0:03:50That's right. I'll see you later.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52See you in a bit. Do you want me to look after your...?
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Oh, yeah. There you go. Cheers.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Hey. What are you doing sitting in the dark?
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Just got a bit of a headache, that's all.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15Aww.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Poor you.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Suppose a jump's out of the question, then?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22You been drinking?
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Just the one after work with Farida.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Good day?
0:05:31 > 0:05:32Typical Monday.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36It's been dead. Not that I'm complaining.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Hey, where's my lovely girl? Give me a kiss.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Come here. Come to mama.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57You all right, mate? You haven't said a word all day.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00I think Christina's seeing someone else.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02You are messing, aren't ya?
0:06:03 > 0:06:05You seriously think she would?
0:06:05 > 0:06:09You tell me. You've known her a lot longer than I have.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Has she done anything like this before?
0:06:14 > 0:06:15She has, hasn't she?
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Yeah, but it was completely different.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21Her and Dal had been dead in the water for years. Towards the end they were
0:06:21 > 0:06:23- as bad as each other. - God. I don't believe this.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Mate, she wouldn't do the dirty on you.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28So why's she lying to me, then?
0:06:41 > 0:06:42Goodnight, love. See you tomorrow.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Just tell me the truth.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49About what?
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Were you with another fella yesterday?
0:06:56 > 0:06:57Yeah.
0:07:00 > 0:07:01I was with Mick.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I think we need to go for a pint.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08I never meant to lie,
0:07:08 > 0:07:11I just didn't want to make a big deal out of it, that's all.
0:07:11 > 0:07:12Out of what?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14I had a hospital appointment.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17You what?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Don't panic, everything's fine.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22So why all the secrecy?
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Cos I didn't want you to worry.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28I mentioned it to Mick in passing and he insisted on coming with me.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Why did you tell him and not me?
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Look, it's been over a year since we decided
0:07:41 > 0:07:43to throw caution to the winds and...
0:07:45 > 0:07:49- since we stopped using anything. - Yeah.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53..and there's still no sign of any storks on the horizon.
0:07:53 > 0:07:58I started to convince myself there was something wrong with me,
0:07:58 > 0:08:00so I just decided to get checked out.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03I'm going to be 41 next month.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06I haven't got any more time to lose.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09So what did they say?
0:08:10 > 0:08:14Said they couldn't see any reason I shouldn't be able to conceive.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Can't believe you thought I was carrying on.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Nah.
0:08:22 > 0:08:23Is that really what you think of me?
0:08:23 > 0:08:26No, of course I don't. I just wasn't thinking.
0:08:30 > 0:08:31Tide's out.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Hey, we'll just have to look on the bright side.
0:08:39 > 0:08:40What's that?
0:08:41 > 0:08:43SHE LAUGHS
0:08:43 > 0:08:46We're just going to have to keep trying.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52I'm sorry, Chris. Chris. I'm sorry.
0:08:56 > 0:08:57I just can't.
0:09:03 > 0:09:04What's wrong?
0:09:06 > 0:09:10I just can't believe I let you go through all that worry on your own.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14It's fine...
0:09:14 > 0:09:16No, it's not. It's not fine!
0:09:16 > 0:09:17It's not fine.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20I could have told you myself there was nothing wrong with you.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22It's me. I'm the one. I can't have kids.
0:09:25 > 0:09:26What?
0:09:27 > 0:09:30I've got no lead in my pencil.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34I'm firing blanks. Whatever cliche you want to use.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39How long have you known?
0:09:42 > 0:09:43Too long.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49What, since before we met?
0:09:49 > 0:09:50Yes.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Why didn't you tell me?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00I was just too frightened about losing you.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06You wouldn't be the first woman who dumped me once they found out.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13But you knew.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18You knew how much it meant to me.
0:10:22 > 0:10:27I just kept convincing myself everything would work out, and,
0:10:27 > 0:10:30you know, we could just be happy as we are.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33How could you give me false hope like that?
0:10:36 > 0:10:37Let me waste two...
0:10:40 > 0:10:44..precious years at my time of life?
0:10:45 > 0:10:48You just never gave the impression
0:10:48 > 0:10:51that it would be the end of the world if it didn't happen.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55If I was more than five seconds late
0:10:55 > 0:10:59I was legging it down the chemist to get a test.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Chris...
0:11:07 > 0:11:09you never told me.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Just because I didn't bang on about it all the time,
0:11:12 > 0:11:14that doesn't mean that I wanted it any less.
0:11:26 > 0:11:27I'm really sorry, Chris.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32I'm sorry.
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Sorry for what?
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Being infertile or for being a liar?
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Oh, well. It's a rollover on Saturday.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04I just want to let you know
0:12:04 > 0:12:07I really appreciate everything you've done for me.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10You were the only one who was there for me when I got laid off.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12You were doing me a favour as well.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Come on! I'm not soft.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19You could be paying some kid half the amount you give me.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Yeah, but I'm sure you'd do the same for me.
0:12:24 > 0:12:25Anyway, I just want to...
0:12:25 > 0:12:27HE SIGHS I just want to let you know,
0:12:27 > 0:12:30it's probably time you started looking for another labourer.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32What?
0:12:36 > 0:12:40Look, you were only helping me out cos you're Christina's mate
0:12:40 > 0:12:43and now it looks like we're over.
0:12:44 > 0:12:45No!
0:12:45 > 0:12:46Why?
0:12:49 > 0:12:51It can't be that bad, is it?
0:12:53 > 0:12:56I just can't give her what she wants.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01But he's lied to me.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03How could I ever trust him again?
0:13:03 > 0:13:05It can't have been easy for him either.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08I've already wasted twelve years of my life with Dal
0:13:08 > 0:13:10insisting he never wanted kids,
0:13:10 > 0:13:12then six months after meeting her she's out here.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14You had a lucky escape.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15Did I?
0:13:15 > 0:13:16Yeah!
0:13:16 > 0:13:18She's probably stuck with a screaming baby
0:13:18 > 0:13:20while he's out sleeping with all kinds
0:13:20 > 0:13:23- behind her back. - Yeah, well, at least she's got one.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Yeah, but just imagine the nose on it.
0:13:28 > 0:13:29There are other options.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31You could still adopt,
0:13:31 > 0:13:33foster,
0:13:33 > 0:13:35have one e-mailed over from Malawi...
0:13:36 > 0:13:40It's not the same, though, is it?
0:13:41 > 0:13:42I just want my own baby.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Is that really too much to ask?
0:13:50 > 0:13:52And what if it never happens?
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Would that really be the end of the world?
0:13:59 > 0:14:01It's different for women.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08It's drummed into you from the moment you're born.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10You're given a toy pram and dolls and you practise
0:14:10 > 0:14:13changing their nappies, and you just assume...
0:14:14 > 0:14:18that you're going to be doing it for real one day.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Then, before you know it, you're 40
0:14:20 > 0:14:21and the only sound you can hear
0:14:21 > 0:14:24is the ticking of your biological clock.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27It's now or never for me.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30But at what price?
0:14:30 > 0:14:34No bloke's ever treated you as well as Andy. He's your soul mate.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Some people go a whole lifetime without finding theirs.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44If I stay with him, I'm accepting that I'm never going to be a mum.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49And if you walk away, you risk ending up with nothing.
0:14:54 > 0:14:55Come on, Bear.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Bear!
0:15:17 > 0:15:18Hello.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27I'm sorry.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29It's not you who should be apologising.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46But it doesn't change anything.
0:15:46 > 0:15:47I still want a baby.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51I want us to have a baby.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59How do you feel about us looking into sperm donors?
0:16:06 > 0:16:07Yeah.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11If it's going to make you happy, I'll agree to anything.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Hiyaaaaa!
0:16:21 > 0:16:22- You made it! - The size of you!
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Must want my head testing. Come on!
0:16:25 > 0:16:26Oh, come in!
0:16:26 > 0:16:27- Hi!- Hello.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Oh, here comes trouble.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Welcome to the mad house.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43What can I get you to drink?
0:16:43 > 0:16:44Oh! Thought you'd never ask.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46We've got Coke, lemonade, fruit juice...
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Skip the mixers. Just lead us to the hard stuff.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53Sorry, we didn't think to get any booze, with it being a kids' party.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55CHRISTINA LAUGHS
0:16:59 > 0:17:01I suppose shooting up in the bathroom
0:17:01 > 0:17:02is out of the question, then?
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Well, it's all out, so help yourselves.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Doesn't seem five minutes since
0:17:10 > 0:17:12we were dancing on podiums at all-night raves,
0:17:12 > 0:17:13and now look at her.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Would you like anything from my shop?
0:17:18 > 0:17:21Go on, then. 20 Marlboro Lights and a bottle of vodka, please.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23SHE LAUGHS
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Sorry.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34He's been really cranky the last few days.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Is he teething? His cheeks do look really red.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Yeah, and he's had really runny poos since Thursday
0:17:41 > 0:17:44and it's given him the most hideous nappy rash.
0:17:44 > 0:17:49Ah, poor thing. Leila used to get it really badly.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Just makes you feel so awful, doesn't it?
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Actually, it turned out she was allergic to the lanolin
0:17:53 > 0:17:55- in the cream I was using.- Really?
0:18:10 > 0:18:14Imogen, you'll let me know when you need your inhaler, won't you?
0:18:28 > 0:18:31- For the birthday girl. - Oh, bless you, thanks!
0:18:31 > 0:18:33- Hi, are you all right?
0:18:33 > 0:18:35- Hey!- Hello!
0:18:35 > 0:18:38- How are you?- Good. How are you? - Nice to see you.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40You too. Thanks for coming.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44- What can I get you? - Wouldn't say no to a beer.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47Non-alcoholic only, I'm afraid. Blame the missus.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Where have you been?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55ALL: Hooray!
0:18:57 > 0:18:58- And again.- Big blow.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01ALL: Hooray!
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Does that mean we can go now?
0:19:10 > 0:19:16- Grace, we're going to have to shoot! So, thank you. - Well, thanks very much for coming.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Not at all. She's gorgeous. Take care.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- Bye, everybody!- See you, mate.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40SHE MOUTHS
0:19:42 > 0:19:44That's what I like about kids' parties. Leaving.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46- Cheers.- Cheers.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Cheers.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Oh look, it's you in 20 years' time.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56CHRISTINA LAUGHS
0:20:03 > 0:20:05I'm going for a cig. Anyone?
0:20:05 > 0:20:07I'll come with you, mate.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Yeah, go for it.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13You two manage to sort everything out, then?
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Mm-hm.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Yeah, I've finally resigned myself to being
0:20:18 > 0:20:21barren for the rest of my life.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Don't take this the wrong way, but there's part of me that's glad.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Everyone I know has had kids
0:20:26 > 0:20:28these days, and once they do,
0:20:28 > 0:20:29you never see them again.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31It's like they've died.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36I couldn't handle losing you as well.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42And next up, we've got Mary.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46We even talked about looking into anonymous donors.
0:20:46 > 0:20:52But I went online and it just looks really complicated. And expensive!
0:20:52 > 0:20:53Can be anything up to five grand.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Five grand for a sperm donor?
0:20:55 > 0:20:58You wanna get yourself down the Grafton,
0:20:58 > 0:21:01it's only a fiver before 11 and you get your first drink free.
0:21:03 > 0:21:04What, grab-a-granny night?
0:21:13 > 0:21:14Hey, what's up?
0:21:19 > 0:21:21I am gonna end up like her, aren't I?
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Oh, I was just joking...
0:21:23 > 0:21:26No, but it's true.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29I could see all the other mums looking at me before,
0:21:29 > 0:21:32feeling sorry for me. They were pitying me.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Come on, you're just being paranoid now.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36I'm not. They take one look at me
0:21:36 > 0:21:38and all they see is a great big lush.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45I'd make a lovely mum, you know?
0:21:45 > 0:21:46I know you would. Come here.
0:21:52 > 0:21:56Why can't I have little birthday parties with...
0:21:58 > 0:22:01face painting and bouncy castles?
0:22:01 > 0:22:05Don't you think you're a bit old for all that now?
0:22:05 > 0:22:08And anyway, I can think of worse ways of ending up.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13She looks like she's having a ball to me.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Come on, let's get another drink, eh?
0:22:21 > 0:22:24- Want another?- We were saying, fancy going somewhere else?
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Where shall we go?
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Town?
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Oh, I know. How about the Mazzy?
0:22:30 > 0:22:31Let's go to the Mazzy.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Yeah! I haven't been the Mazzy for years!
0:22:34 > 0:22:35Come on, then.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37You all right?
0:22:53 > 0:22:54Oh, look who it is!
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Haven't you shot up?
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Last time I saw her she was running round the canals of Venice
0:22:59 > 0:23:03scaring the life out of everyone.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05- Eh, it's not that kind of place. - Same again?
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Why not? Long time dead.
0:23:15 > 0:23:16Four pints of lager, please, love.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Hey!
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Do you ever wish you could have kids?
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Not really.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40What's the point in dwelling on what you can't have?
0:23:40 > 0:23:44But you'd make a great dad.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46I think I'd be quite strict, though.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Any cheek and they'd be straight in the cupboard under the stairs.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51How else are they supposed to learn?
0:23:51 > 0:23:54It's weird to think I'll be the end of the line, though.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56How do you mean?
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Well, my dad's got no brothers and I'm his only son
0:23:58 > 0:24:00so the family name dies with me.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Just think, all those generations fighting for survival
0:24:05 > 0:24:07since the beginning of time.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Overcoming endless wars and famines,
0:24:09 > 0:24:13and it all ends outside the Mazzy.
0:24:13 > 0:24:14SHE LAUGHS
0:24:16 > 0:24:17Aww.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28MUSIC: "Push the Button" by Sugababes
0:24:31 > 0:24:34You know, before I met Christina
0:24:34 > 0:24:37I wouldn't have been seen dead in a place like this.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38No, I'm serious.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44That's why I love her so much.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45She's opened my eyes.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Made me a better person.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49I wouldn't go that far(!)
0:24:50 > 0:24:53I hate to admit it,
0:24:53 > 0:24:56but I used to be really homophobic.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58I wouldn't worry about it. So was I.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01I spent years in denial,
0:25:01 > 0:25:04going from one girl to the next, convincing myself
0:25:04 > 0:25:06if I slept with enough of them it'd make me straight.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08So what made you come out?
0:25:08 > 0:25:09When one girl I was seeing
0:25:09 > 0:25:12told me she was pregnant. I realised I had two choices.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14I could pretend to be happy
0:25:14 > 0:25:16and spend the rest of my life living a lie
0:25:16 > 0:25:18or come clean.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Did she, did she keep it?
0:25:20 > 0:25:22- No.- Guess what?- What?
0:25:22 > 0:25:24It's only half three in the afternoon!
0:25:36 > 0:25:37Who's got the poppers?
0:25:59 > 0:26:01My head hurts.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04HE GROANS
0:26:11 > 0:26:13SHE SHRIEKS
0:26:13 > 0:26:14THEY LAUGH
0:26:17 > 0:26:21You know, Mick's family tree comes to an end with him?
0:26:21 > 0:26:23How do you mean?
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Well, he hasn't got any brothers, nor has his dad.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28So if he doesn't have kids, that's it.
0:26:28 > 0:26:29Oh, right.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33He was being all blase about it, but I reckon
0:26:33 > 0:26:36he'd really like kids of his own, deep down.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40And you've seen what he's like with kids, they all adore him.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44When you think about all those divvies passing on their
0:26:44 > 0:26:46genes without a second thought
0:26:46 > 0:26:49and someone as lovely as him never will.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51It just seems like such a waste...
0:26:51 > 0:26:52No way!
0:26:52 > 0:26:54What? I haven't said anything.
0:26:54 > 0:26:55You don't have to say anything.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Why not?
0:26:57 > 0:27:00He's funny, kind, generous, sensitive,
0:27:00 > 0:27:03and can you imagine how stunning his kids would be?
0:27:03 > 0:27:04Why him?
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Why not, you know, Frank,
0:27:08 > 0:27:10or anyone else for that matter?
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Well, because it's hardly the kind of thing
0:27:13 > 0:27:14you just ask anyone, is it?
0:27:14 > 0:27:17And don't get me wrong, I love Frank,
0:27:17 > 0:27:19but we haven't got that history.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22I've known Mick over 20 years, I'm practically one of the family.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25- I'd trust him with my life.- Doesn't mean I have to trust him with you.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28What?
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Oh, come on!
0:27:30 > 0:27:32You can't expect me to give you permission
0:27:32 > 0:27:34to jump into bed with some other bloke.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Hello!
0:27:36 > 0:27:37What?
0:27:37 > 0:27:40He's gay!
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Didn't seem to stop Frank.
0:27:42 > 0:27:43Oh come on, that was years ago.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Besides, Mick's totally different.
0:27:46 > 0:27:47He's never been near a woman.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49He'd have a heart attack!
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Yeah, well there's always a first time.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54What if he discovers he likes it?
0:27:56 > 0:28:00Sorry, is that the reason you don't sleep with men?
0:28:00 > 0:28:03In case you discover that you like it?
0:28:03 > 0:28:04And did you really think I was
0:28:04 > 0:28:06suggesting sleeping with him?
0:28:08 > 0:28:10That'd be like incest.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12Oh, yeah. No, I wasn't thinking.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16What's the harm in just asking?
0:28:16 > 0:28:17Mmm.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25Not in front of him!
0:28:28 > 0:28:32We've got a bit of a confession to make.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35We had a bit of an ulterior motive inviting you over
0:28:35 > 0:28:38- for dinner tonight. - I hope you're not going to suggest
0:28:38 > 0:28:40we throw our car keys in the fruit bowl, are you?
0:28:40 > 0:28:43Actually, it's funny you should say that...
0:28:43 > 0:28:45THEY LAUGH
0:28:52 > 0:28:54No, I was just telling Andy what you said to me last week.
0:28:54 > 0:28:57About being the end of your family tree.
0:28:58 > 0:28:59And...
0:29:01 > 0:29:02anyway, it got us thinking...
0:29:04 > 0:29:07You both know the problems we've been having
0:29:07 > 0:29:08and...
0:29:10 > 0:29:13how much we want a baby.
0:29:13 > 0:29:14Yeah....?
0:29:14 > 0:29:15And...
0:29:15 > 0:29:17Well, we discussed it, and...
0:29:19 > 0:29:22we think you'd make the perfect donor.
0:29:26 > 0:29:27What do you reckon?
0:29:30 > 0:29:31Half me,
0:29:31 > 0:29:33half you,
0:29:33 > 0:29:35what could possibly go wrong?
0:29:36 > 0:29:38Is this a wind-up?
0:29:39 > 0:29:41Look, we know
0:29:41 > 0:29:43it's a massive thing to ask,
0:29:43 > 0:29:45and we don't expect you
0:29:45 > 0:29:48to make up your mind right away.
0:29:50 > 0:29:53I really don't know what to say.
0:29:56 > 0:29:57You don't have to say anything,
0:29:57 > 0:29:58just...
0:29:59 > 0:30:03pop yourself off to the bathroom with a sterilised jam jar.
0:30:07 > 0:30:08No, I mean,
0:30:08 > 0:30:11look, we would take, erm, we agreed, didn't we,
0:30:11 > 0:30:14we'd take complete responsibility for everything.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17We wouldn't expect anything from you, financially or...
0:30:17 > 0:30:20anything...else.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23But obviously, you could be involved...
0:30:23 > 0:30:25you know, as much as you wanted.
0:30:25 > 0:30:26Yeah, if you want.
0:30:28 > 0:30:31Well, if he knocks you back, book us a room at the Adelphi
0:30:31 > 0:30:32and I'll sort you out.
0:30:32 > 0:30:33Why do you think we asked him?
0:30:33 > 0:30:35Oh!
0:30:35 > 0:30:37We know all about you and your reputation.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40Thank you very much!
0:30:43 > 0:30:45Well, you know. Absolutely no pressure.
0:30:45 > 0:30:47But you are our final hope.
0:30:47 > 0:30:49SHE LAUGHS
0:31:01 > 0:31:03What do you make of all that, then?
0:31:03 > 0:31:06You know what she's like, it'll all be forgotten once
0:31:06 > 0:31:08she sobers up in the morning.
0:31:08 > 0:31:11I don't know, she seemed pretty serious. They both did.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26Well, he didn't say no.
0:31:27 > 0:31:30She can't even look after that poor dog half the time.
0:31:30 > 0:31:33How often has it been left to do its business in the flat
0:31:33 > 0:31:34while she's been out on some bender?
0:31:34 > 0:31:37This'd be exactly the same. They'd be out every weekend
0:31:37 > 0:31:40while we'd be stuck at home looking after some whinging baby.
0:31:40 > 0:31:42I'd be flattered if I was you.
0:31:42 > 0:31:44I am, but...
0:31:44 > 0:31:48- She's your best mate. You know what this means to her.- What?
0:31:48 > 0:31:50- You think I should say yes? - Why not?
0:31:50 > 0:31:51Where do you want me to start?
0:31:51 > 0:31:53How am I supposed to feel
0:31:53 > 0:31:55once it's born?
0:31:55 > 0:31:56Does everyone just expect me
0:31:56 > 0:31:58to turn my back and walk away?
0:31:58 > 0:31:59You'd still see it.
0:31:59 > 0:32:02You could still be part of its life.
0:32:02 > 0:32:03Oh, lucky me(!)
0:32:06 > 0:32:07Anywhere here, please.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11You seem to think it's all so straightforward,
0:32:11 > 0:32:12maybe you should volunteer.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16I would if she asked me.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19Yeah, well, obviously some of us
0:32:19 > 0:32:21find it easier to get rid of their babies.
0:32:30 > 0:32:31- What was that about? - Forget about it.
0:32:31 > 0:32:34No, come on, if you've got something to say, say it.
0:32:34 > 0:32:36It's a pity you weren't so keen on
0:32:36 > 0:32:38the idea of fatherhood when you had your chance.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40If you think having kids is such a fantastic idea,
0:32:40 > 0:32:43why not just go off and do it the way nature intended?
0:32:43 > 0:32:45Find yourself a nice girl and settle down.
0:32:45 > 0:32:47Because I'm not straight!
0:32:47 > 0:32:51Yeah, well you did a pretty convincing impression in the past.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53Yeah, and that's what it was.
0:32:53 > 0:32:55An impression.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57It's not about who you sleep with,
0:32:57 > 0:33:00it's about who you fall in love with that matters.
0:33:04 > 0:33:08I'm sorry. This has totally done my head in.
0:33:08 > 0:33:09Why?
0:33:09 > 0:33:13Because I'm gay. I accepted a long time ago that I'd never be a dad.
0:33:14 > 0:33:17I never even thought it was an option.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19Well, now it is.
0:33:19 > 0:33:23What's stopping you having the best of both worlds?
0:33:43 > 0:33:44Whatever happens...
0:33:46 > 0:33:49I'm sure it'll be for the best.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56You know that, don't you?
0:34:03 > 0:34:06So long as we can grow old together,
0:34:08 > 0:34:10that's all that matters to me.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42PHONE RINGS
0:35:24 > 0:35:26Come on, Bear!
0:35:41 > 0:35:42I'm sorry.
0:35:47 > 0:35:52I couldn't be more flattered that you'd even think to ask me.
0:35:52 > 0:35:55I'd do anything for you, I'd even donate a kidney if I had to.
0:35:57 > 0:36:00But this is something else altogether.
0:36:03 > 0:36:05You do understand, don't you?
0:36:08 > 0:36:10All I want is some bodily fluids,
0:36:10 > 0:36:13are you really going to begrudge me that?
0:36:14 > 0:36:18Look, it's not that. It's what follows that worries me.
0:36:21 > 0:36:25We're not talking about a car share here, this is a human life.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28I couldn't handle knowing my kid was being brought up
0:36:28 > 0:36:30by another man on the other side of town.
0:36:32 > 0:36:35We could always move closer.
0:36:37 > 0:36:40There are plenty of gay men out there
0:36:40 > 0:36:42who'd give their right arms to become dads.
0:36:42 > 0:36:44But I'm not one of them.
0:36:49 > 0:36:53You could always put a sign up at the Mazzy.
0:36:58 > 0:37:00Hey! TEENAGERS LAUGH
0:37:03 > 0:37:05They might start off as cute little babies,
0:37:05 > 0:37:07but they soon turn into them.
0:37:07 > 0:37:11Could you really handle dealing with a stroppy teenager
0:37:11 > 0:37:14when you're approaching 60? I know I couldn't.
0:37:15 > 0:37:19If I was to become a dad, I'd want to do it properly,
0:37:19 > 0:37:21I'd want to be there 24/7.
0:37:22 > 0:37:25I'd want to hear its first words, witness its first smile...
0:37:25 > 0:37:27Well, there aren't going to be
0:37:27 > 0:37:28any smiles now, are there?
0:37:28 > 0:37:30Ah, don't be like that.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36I don't want us to fall out.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39I just have to go with my instinct on this.
0:37:49 > 0:37:51You don't hate me, do you?
0:37:52 > 0:37:54No, no, I don't.
0:37:57 > 0:37:58Oh, come here.
0:38:02 > 0:38:06Who knows, maybe I've even done you a favour in the long term.
0:38:06 > 0:38:10Well, it's hard enough being a mum when you're young.
0:38:10 > 0:38:11Oh!
0:38:11 > 0:38:12Cheers for that(!)
0:38:12 > 0:38:16Maybe it's time to accept that you might've missed that boat.
0:38:16 > 0:38:19Start focusing on the positives instead.
0:38:19 > 0:38:21Such as?
0:38:21 > 0:38:23You're the life and soul of the party,
0:38:23 > 0:38:25you can drink anyone under the table,
0:38:25 > 0:38:27you're always the last to go to bed.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30I can think of plenty of people who'd kill to be in your shoes.
0:38:30 > 0:38:32You've got your freedom,
0:38:32 > 0:38:34you can go out whenever you like,
0:38:34 > 0:38:35you can lie in at weekends,
0:38:35 > 0:38:37couple of holidays a year.
0:38:37 > 0:38:41Do you really want to trade all that in for sleepless nights,
0:38:41 > 0:38:46all your money spent on nappies, CBeebies all day every day,
0:38:46 > 0:38:49baby puke down your beautiful cape...?
0:38:49 > 0:38:51All right, all right.
0:38:52 > 0:38:54The grass isn't always greener, you know.
0:38:56 > 0:38:58Anyway, you've got Bear, you've got us,
0:38:58 > 0:39:01and you've got a man who worships the ground you walk on.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04It doesn't get much better than that.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08Open your eyes, you've got a really fantastic life.
0:39:15 > 0:39:17Come on, Bear.
0:39:22 > 0:39:24He's absolutely gorgeous.
0:39:26 > 0:39:29But you can have him back now.
0:39:29 > 0:39:31CHILD CRIES OFF SCREEN
0:39:31 > 0:39:33Oh, Matthew, I thought you said she was asleep.
0:39:33 > 0:39:36It's the voices. She'll settle down in a minute.
0:39:36 > 0:39:37That's not the point. She's upset.
0:39:42 > 0:39:47Leila? Settle down now, sweetheart, go to sleep.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52- We should probably go. - We should head home.- Yeah.
0:39:52 > 0:39:55- Thanks for all the presents. - You're so welcome!
0:39:55 > 0:39:57Matthew, could you see to your daughter, please?
0:39:57 > 0:39:59We'll see ourselves out.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04- See you.- Mate, you're welcome.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06See you later.
0:40:07 > 0:40:09See you soon.
0:40:09 > 0:40:11Nice to see you again.
0:40:11 > 0:40:12Off anywhere nice?
0:40:12 > 0:40:15We'll probably head off to the pub. Wet the baby's head.
0:40:15 > 0:40:17- Have one for us.- Certainly will.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23BABIES CRY
0:40:32 > 0:40:33ALL: Cheers!
0:40:36 > 0:40:38Next up, we've got Christina.
0:40:40 > 0:40:43APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
0:40:53 > 0:40:56SONG: "Little Ole Wine Drinker Me"
0:41:01 > 0:41:08# I'm praying for rain in California
0:41:08 > 0:41:13# So the grapes can grow and they can make more wine
0:41:17 > 0:41:23# And I'm sitting in a honky in Chicago
0:41:25 > 0:41:30# With a broken heart and a woman on my mind
0:41:31 > 0:41:36# I'll ask the man behind the bar
0:41:36 > 0:41:40# For the jukebox... #
0:41:40 > 0:41:41MUSIC FADES OUT
0:41:44 > 0:41:48# ..takes me back to Tennessee
0:41:51 > 0:41:58# And when they ask who's that fool in the corner
0:41:58 > 0:41:59# Crying
0:41:59 > 0:42:03# I'll say, little ole wine drinker me. #
0:42:05 > 0:42:07SHE LAUGHS
0:42:07 > 0:42:09APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:42:34 > 0:42:37Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:42:37 > 0:42:40E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk