Lost Weekend

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains strong language from the start,

0:00:07 > 0:00:13and scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.

0:00:28 > 0:00:30- BRYONY:- That's what's in my head -

0:00:30 > 0:00:32that somehow or other he's killed her.

0:00:34 > 0:00:37She's been trying to tell me for months that she's in danger,

0:00:37 > 0:00:39from him.

0:00:40 > 0:00:42But I can't say that.

0:00:42 > 0:00:45Apparently, that's defamation.

0:00:45 > 0:00:47Apparently, she's just a missing person.

0:00:47 > 0:00:50Apparently, he's got the lawyers and the money,

0:00:50 > 0:00:52and, apparently, that's what matters.

0:00:54 > 0:00:55RINGING TONE

0:00:55 > 0:00:57- OPERATOR:- 'Emergency.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59'Which service do you require?'

0:01:02 > 0:01:04The first time we met,

0:01:04 > 0:01:06bang, I saw the light.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08The first time we met -

0:01:08 > 0:01:10properly met -

0:01:10 > 0:01:12she dumbfounded me.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14- OPERATOR:- 'Caller?'

0:01:14 > 0:01:15RASPING BREATHS

0:01:15 > 0:01:17'Caller?'

0:01:17 > 0:01:20She's a vessel of light, Arla.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Emitting light is what she does.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26She just has panache,

0:01:26 > 0:01:28mystique.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31That clicky handbag and heels,

0:01:31 > 0:01:33the perfect hair, never enough time.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35And I'm...

0:01:38 > 0:01:41Because of who Arla is, she doesn't...

0:01:41 > 0:01:43she doesn't know the protocol.

0:01:43 > 0:01:47She doesn't know how she's supposed to think and behave.

0:01:47 > 0:01:51If I had a self image, which I don't really, but if you pushed me...

0:01:52 > 0:01:54..I'd say it was a big, crashing torrent

0:01:54 > 0:01:56of shitty, fucked-up brown water.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06They don't listen.

0:02:06 > 0:02:07They say she has a history

0:02:07 > 0:02:10of dropping out of sight for a few days.

0:02:10 > 0:02:13And I say, "Yeah, of dropping out of sight THERE."

0:02:13 > 0:02:15So, if she isn't THERE...

0:02:16 > 0:02:18..where is she?

0:02:18 > 0:02:20It's not unusual for her to be gone.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22She'll say she's coming for the week, and then,

0:02:22 > 0:02:23Wednesday, she's gone.

0:02:23 > 0:02:27And things aren't properly sorted between her and Alex.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29It's complicated, so, I've never said,

0:02:29 > 0:02:32"You said you'd be here. You've got to be here."

0:02:33 > 0:02:35I've never...

0:02:35 > 0:02:37taken that for granted.

0:02:40 > 0:02:43He threatened to come round here once - Alex.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47Threatened to come here and drag her home.

0:02:48 > 0:02:51I said, "Where IS her home, though, Alex?"

0:02:56 > 0:02:58- BRYONY, ON PHONE: - 'He says she's not there.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00'But for all anyone knows, she IS there.

0:03:00 > 0:03:01'Dead.'

0:03:01 > 0:03:03The trend today is catastrophism.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Think the worst, it saves time.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08Let's all cry wolf all the time, then nothing can ever go wrong.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10That's the thinking.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13All eventualities will always be covered all the time.

0:03:13 > 0:03:17And if we all drop down dead, exhausted, chasing shadows,

0:03:17 > 0:03:20well, at least we shan't be accused of dereliction of duty.

0:03:20 > 0:03:24One 999 call doesn't make it a murder,

0:03:24 > 0:03:26especially not an aborted 999 call.

0:03:28 > 0:03:29Bloody trainers,

0:03:29 > 0:03:31kids who won't go to bed,

0:03:31 > 0:03:32late-arriving pizzas...

0:03:32 > 0:03:34(All 999.)

0:03:35 > 0:03:36All urgent catastrophes.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Who else is it going to be?

0:03:40 > 0:03:43MUSIC: Something's Gotten Hold Of My Heart by Gene Pitney

0:03:43 > 0:03:46Bryony Phelps, poster girl for the charity.

0:03:46 > 0:03:50Rose from the ranks, lost soul found.

0:03:50 > 0:03:51The girl's neurotic and overwrought.

0:03:51 > 0:03:54Splashing it all over social media,

0:03:54 > 0:03:56pointing the finger at Cotterall.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Tweeting, Instagramming, Facebooking.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00# Something's gotten hold of my heart... #

0:04:00 > 0:04:03And, generally working up a right old candyfloss of indignation

0:04:03 > 0:04:07amongst the Tatler types. To which, my superiors are not immune.

0:04:08 > 0:04:12# Something's gotten into my life

0:04:12 > 0:04:15# Cutting its way... #

0:04:15 > 0:04:17But slapping a writ on her?

0:04:18 > 0:04:21# Turning me up, turning me down... #

0:04:21 > 0:04:23That smacks of more money than sense.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27She said I was the one who could tell her the most

0:04:27 > 0:04:30because I knew Arla at work and as a friend.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32And as a client, too.

0:04:32 > 0:04:35I'm living proof of what Arla is capable of.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38I'm not saying they ALL turn out like me.

0:04:38 > 0:04:41The kids we deal with, they don't always have the best start in life.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44That's the whole point of Liferaft.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50We were both at some horrible function at a gallery

0:04:50 > 0:04:53and she was momentarily alone, looking at a painting.

0:04:53 > 0:04:57So, I cascaded over to her and she just smiled,

0:04:57 > 0:05:00and put out her hand and said that she was Arla

0:05:00 > 0:05:02and that I was Dominic, wasn't I,

0:05:02 > 0:05:05and that she was very pleased to meet me.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07She said, "What do you think of the work?

0:05:07 > 0:05:09"I think it's very...kinetic.

0:05:09 > 0:05:11"Are you buying?"

0:05:13 > 0:05:15I couldn't think of a single thing to say.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18She would never have missed the AGM, never.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20This organisation was everything to her.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25I just told her that I'd only ever liked one painting in my life,

0:05:25 > 0:05:27and that one turned out to be a fake.

0:05:27 > 0:05:28I stole it from my dad

0:05:28 > 0:05:30when I first left Abbedon.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33After I fucked his second wife.

0:05:34 > 0:05:35She was a fake, too.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48A number of people have made it their life's work

0:05:48 > 0:05:52to traduce Dominic's reputation.

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Gossip columnists, journalists,

0:05:55 > 0:05:57paparazzi, barristers,

0:05:57 > 0:05:59ex-wife, ex-girlfriends,

0:05:59 > 0:06:01ex-friends,

0:06:01 > 0:06:02friends.

0:06:04 > 0:06:05His mother.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11To a good extent, he's brought it on himself.

0:06:12 > 0:06:14But if people want to bandy my eldest son's name

0:06:14 > 0:06:17around the nightclubs of Mayfair

0:06:17 > 0:06:20just because some dizzy girl's gone walkabout...

0:06:21 > 0:06:23..they have to be taught...

0:06:27 > 0:06:28..there's a price to be paid.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42'Hi, this is Arla. Talk to the beep.'

0:06:42 > 0:06:43VOICEMAIL BEEPS

0:06:46 > 0:06:48- BRYONY:- Where is she?

0:06:50 > 0:06:52Arla Beckman, 35, US citizen.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54Lived here most of her life.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57Parents made a fortune in the fitness industry,

0:06:57 > 0:07:01then sold up, turned philanthropist and set up Liferaft.

0:07:01 > 0:07:03She runs the UK arm, big benefactor,

0:07:03 > 0:07:05considered a great beauty.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Married to a banker, Alex...somebody.

0:07:08 > 0:07:11Eton, Cambridge.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13According to a magazine interview,

0:07:13 > 0:07:17the landmark she'd most like to spend a night in is the London Eye.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20Maybe somebody should look there.

0:07:23 > 0:07:26Left work on Friday the 17th at 3:04pm.

0:07:28 > 0:07:30Nice hours if you can get them.

0:07:30 > 0:07:33"She was at Dominic Cotterall's house," she said. "I know she was."

0:07:33 > 0:07:36I said "I know she was, too. He told me."

0:07:36 > 0:07:39Spent the entire weekend there, left the Monday morning.

0:07:39 > 0:07:41Little face fell a bit at that.

0:07:41 > 0:07:44"And," I said, "there's been other instances in the past six months

0:07:44 > 0:07:47"of her being incommunicado for three days or more."

0:07:47 > 0:07:50Phone off, no cash withdrawals.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54Lost weekends.

0:07:54 > 0:07:55Face fell a bit further.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59"Any idea where she spent those?" I said.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01I didn't catch her reply at first,

0:08:01 > 0:08:02I had to ask her to speak up.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05Then I heard her.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07"His," she said. "His."

0:08:17 > 0:08:18He'd kidnap her,

0:08:18 > 0:08:20abduct her.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22There's no other way of putting it.

0:08:22 > 0:08:26People don't realise the toll it takes on her, being good.

0:08:26 > 0:08:27On anyone.

0:08:27 > 0:08:29Everyone needs a release.

0:08:29 > 0:08:33She was always saying that Dominic wasn't right for her.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36He used to beg her, she wouldn't go otherwise.

0:08:36 > 0:08:37Maybe I'm not her release any more.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43He wasn't right for her - she told me.

0:08:43 > 0:08:47Thoughts of him would creep up on her, though,

0:08:47 > 0:08:48build up in her.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52Or her defences would go down and she'd forget what he was like.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55And she'd go back.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02"What else did he tell you?" she said, "Dominic."

0:09:02 > 0:09:05I said, "He told me you'd been round to his house

0:09:05 > 0:09:08"a number of times in the last few months looking for Arla.

0:09:08 > 0:09:10"That more than once she'd had to tell you to go away

0:09:10 > 0:09:13"and, eventually, he'd had to threaten you with an ASBO.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15"Is that right?"

0:09:15 > 0:09:18She wanted to know all about Liferaft UK, and what we did,

0:09:18 > 0:09:20and whether Arla had had any fights or arguments

0:09:20 > 0:09:23with any of the people in the organisation,

0:09:23 > 0:09:25or any of our clients.

0:09:25 > 0:09:28I said it wasn't our clients they should be talking to, it was him.

0:09:28 > 0:09:30She said they already had.

0:09:30 > 0:09:33She said she'd talked to him at his house.

0:09:33 > 0:09:37So, that lawyer can go fuck himself, thank you very much!

0:09:41 > 0:09:46I said, "I suppose, there may have been one or two...grievances."

0:09:46 > 0:09:47But they didn't come to anything.

0:09:57 > 0:10:01In rehab, we had to write a letter to ourselves from our addiction.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06"Shitface" - that's what my addiction called me.

0:10:07 > 0:10:08Calls me.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12It's calling me now.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17I am the site of an addiction.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20I'm a host body for narcotics, that's all.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23I'm nothing but that.

0:10:26 > 0:10:27I'm Shitface.

0:10:31 > 0:10:34INAUDIBLE

0:10:41 > 0:10:46His reputation precedes him but I found him personable enough.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48He invited me in, shook my hand.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51There were reporters shouting to him from across the street.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53No cup of tea, but that's not uncommon.

0:10:55 > 0:10:59I said, "If you don't mind, I'd like to take this step by step."

0:11:00 > 0:11:03He said all he wanted to know was where she was.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05I said, "Ms Beckman arrived here on Friday evening

0:11:05 > 0:11:07"and left on the Monday morning. Is that correct?"

0:11:07 > 0:11:09He said it was.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13I asked him how they'd spent their weekend.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16He asked me if I wanted the lie or if I wanted the truth.

0:11:16 > 0:11:17I said, "The truth."

0:11:17 > 0:11:21He said "Indulging in sex and drugs and rock and roll."

0:11:22 > 0:11:25"Without very much rock and roll."

0:11:26 > 0:11:30I said, "When she left, what would you say was her state of mind?"

0:11:30 > 0:11:32He said, "What do YOU think?"

0:11:32 > 0:11:36I said, "At this stage, I try NOT to be thinking too much.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38"I prefer to just marshal the facts."

0:11:38 > 0:11:40He said he was still asleep when she left,

0:11:40 > 0:11:42that she had a work function to attend.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44They'd gone to bed at about 4am,

0:11:44 > 0:11:47and when he woke at 3pm she was gone, as he'd expected.

0:11:47 > 0:11:51He said those were the last drugs he was ever going to take.

0:11:51 > 0:11:54And he asked me to exercise professional discretion

0:11:54 > 0:11:56and overlook the admission

0:11:56 > 0:11:58which was only made in pursuit of the truth!

0:11:58 > 0:12:03DCI Goss wanted to know if I'd heard Arla make a 999 call.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06She said it happened in or near my house,

0:12:06 > 0:12:09though they were analysing it further to pin it down more.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12I'd already told her, I'd heard nothing.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14When I woke up, she was gone.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17I said, "You're getting me worried now."

0:12:17 > 0:12:20She said, "Believe me, three nines don't add up to what they used to."

0:12:23 > 0:12:25Took me a second to realise it was a joke.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32I told the policewoman about Arla splitting up from Alex

0:12:32 > 0:12:34and how she got the flat then,

0:12:34 > 0:12:36but she doesn't stay there much.

0:12:36 > 0:12:40She stayed with me at first, upstairs at Liferaft.

0:12:40 > 0:12:42But then she got the flat.

0:12:51 > 0:12:55The policewoman said, "And is she happy?"

0:12:56 > 0:12:58Did I think she was happy?

0:13:00 > 0:13:04Maybe she did say she loved him, but she would laugh at him too,

0:13:04 > 0:13:06take the piss out of him.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09I'd tell her exactly what I thought of him

0:13:09 > 0:13:11and she would laugh and she would say that it was true.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14I'd say maybe that should be the last time she went round there.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16And she wouldn't disagree.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19She WOULDN'T disagree.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21She's done me a good turn.

0:13:21 > 0:13:22She came, she went,

0:13:22 > 0:13:24we had six months together.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27And I know which way my life has to go now.

0:13:37 > 0:13:40I'm 35 years old, and for the first time in my life,

0:13:40 > 0:13:42I really know what I have to do,

0:13:42 > 0:13:44which is stand up and be a Cotterall.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48I don't care what anyone out there is saying.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50That's what I'm going to do.

0:13:50 > 0:13:54There have been Cotteralls at Abbedon Hall since 1592.

0:13:54 > 0:13:56I'm the next in line,

0:13:56 > 0:13:57the son and heir.

0:13:59 > 0:14:00HE CONTINUES: Come on.

0:14:04 > 0:14:07And Dad's on side, thank Christ.

0:14:07 > 0:14:08At last.

0:14:10 > 0:14:14Ten years he's been trying to get me to renounce my inheritance.

0:14:14 > 0:14:15Not now.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17Finally, he can see it.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19I'm going to be pulling up trees.

0:14:21 > 0:14:23"Stay put."

0:14:23 > 0:14:24That's what he told me.

0:14:24 > 0:14:27"When he's under attack, a Cotterall never runs.

0:14:27 > 0:14:31"Stay put, otherwise they'll think you're running scared."

0:14:33 > 0:14:36The most derogatory word in my father's lexicon -

0:14:36 > 0:14:38"scared".

0:14:41 > 0:14:45I had a life chockfull of false storms.

0:14:45 > 0:14:49I've been in and out of rehab like it was Club Med.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51But this time it's different.

0:14:52 > 0:14:56This time I can look myself in the eye, right in the eye.

0:14:56 > 0:15:00It's for real. This time, I'm going to be pulling up trees.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03So, Arla, wherever you are...

0:15:04 > 0:15:06..I salute you!

0:15:10 > 0:15:13"Have you heard of this person and this person and this person?"

0:15:13 > 0:15:16She had photos, like police photos. I said, "No."

0:15:16 > 0:15:19She said, "That's because they're not dead.

0:15:19 > 0:15:22"They're all people who went missing and then turned up.

0:15:22 > 0:15:25"This one went missing for two-and-a-half years."

0:15:29 > 0:15:30The policewoman said...

0:15:32 > 0:15:35"Maybe you're just a little bit in love with her, Bryony.

0:15:35 > 0:15:38"Are you sure that that's not what this is all about?

0:15:40 > 0:15:44"And, by the way, where were YOU on that Sunday afternoon?"

0:16:00 > 0:16:02- WOMAN:- 'Hey, Arla. Just flown in from Paris,

0:16:02 > 0:16:03'if you fancy catching up..."

0:16:03 > 0:16:06- MAN:- 'Hi, Arla, it's Jimmy. Seeing if you're free next Sunday?'

0:16:06 > 0:16:08- WOMAN:- 'Hi, Arla, can you give me a call back?

0:16:08 > 0:16:10- 'I'm at the office...' - 'Let's meet up...'

0:16:10 > 0:16:1217 phone calls in 24 hours from phone numbers

0:16:12 > 0:16:15that cross-reference with the Liferaft organisation,

0:16:15 > 0:16:17midday Sunday to midday Monday.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20Some of them were from her colleague, Bryony Phelps,

0:16:20 > 0:16:22number ending 1-2-8.

0:16:22 > 0:16:28A good number of them were from a different number, ending 7-4-6.

0:16:28 > 0:16:30The first one she answered.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33The rest, she didn't.

0:16:37 > 0:16:41Phone registered in the name of Hamad Latif.

0:17:20 > 0:17:23Whenever she wasn't where she was supposed to be,

0:17:23 > 0:17:24this is where she'd be.

0:17:26 > 0:17:28I came round here once, looking for her.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31He was stood at the door,

0:17:31 > 0:17:34dripping wet with a towel around his waist.

0:17:34 > 0:17:37He said I could come and look in the pool.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40He said she wasn't there, but if she HAD been,

0:17:40 > 0:17:42this is what they'd be doing.

0:17:42 > 0:17:45This, and this, and this.

0:17:45 > 0:17:47All the way down the stairs, he listed things.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50I didn't want him to see that he was upsetting me,

0:17:50 > 0:17:53but he knew he was. He found it very funny - upsetting me.

0:17:53 > 0:17:56He... It was like a...like an impulse in him, like a reflex.

0:17:56 > 0:17:59He had an absolute fucking aptitude for it,

0:17:59 > 0:18:02so I don't know why I took that, really.

0:18:07 > 0:18:09I did it for her.

0:18:14 > 0:18:17He asked me if I'd ever done it in a swimming pool.

0:18:18 > 0:18:22I said, "Is that what YOU do? You and her?"

0:18:23 > 0:18:24He tapped his nose.

0:18:24 > 0:18:28I said, "Anyway, I know what you do. You just told me what you do."

0:18:28 > 0:18:31I suddenly had this overwhelming urge

0:18:31 > 0:18:33to knock him over and fuck his brains out,

0:18:33 > 0:18:36just to show him he didn't know me the way he thought he did,

0:18:36 > 0:18:38like I was so easy to know.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42He took my hand and he pulled me over to the corner of the pool,

0:18:42 > 0:18:44where the ladder was.

0:18:44 > 0:18:45He was naked.

0:18:53 > 0:18:58I thought, "This is what it's like...to be her."

0:19:00 > 0:19:03I asked him what he thought Arla would say

0:19:03 > 0:19:05if I told her that he'd propositioned me.

0:19:10 > 0:19:12He started going down the ladder.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15He still had hold of my hand.

0:19:15 > 0:19:17He let go of my hand and he lifted my foot

0:19:17 > 0:19:20and he put it on his shoulder He said...

0:19:21 > 0:19:23"Push me down.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25"Push me under."

0:19:26 > 0:19:28I didn't know what he meant.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31I pushed him down with my foot, he was pushing against me.

0:19:31 > 0:19:32He said, "Harder!"

0:19:32 > 0:19:35I pushed him down and his head went under.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37He pushed back up. He was...

0:19:37 > 0:19:40He was strong, so I got hold of the rails at the top of the ladder

0:19:40 > 0:19:42and I pushed him down really hard.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44I twisted my heel into his shoulder

0:19:44 > 0:19:46and he went right down under.

0:19:47 > 0:19:48There was a...

0:19:48 > 0:19:51a little cloud of blood in the pool.

0:19:52 > 0:19:55He went down deeper than I could reach

0:19:55 > 0:19:57and he came up away from the steps

0:19:57 > 0:19:59and he stood there looking at me, and he said...

0:20:01 > 0:20:02"There.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05"That's what we do.

0:20:05 > 0:20:08"Me and her, that's what we do."

0:20:29 > 0:20:33I asked her afterwards if she'd been there -

0:20:33 > 0:20:34upstairs, listening.

0:20:36 > 0:20:37She said she hadn't.

0:20:45 > 0:20:49The policewoman asked me why I ran after her when she was leaving work.

0:20:49 > 0:20:50It's on the CCTV.

0:20:52 > 0:20:56I said, "Because she forgot to say goodbye.

0:20:57 > 0:21:00"I was in the kitchen and she forgot to say goodbye."

0:21:13 > 0:21:15She looked right through me.

0:21:16 > 0:21:17After everything she said.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20MACHINE HISSES

0:21:20 > 0:21:22I just wanted to make her see me.

0:21:22 > 0:21:24She knows me.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26She knows I'm hot-blooded.

0:21:26 > 0:21:27She knows that.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29She should've known that.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Because of who Arla is, she doesn't...

0:21:34 > 0:21:36She doesn't know the protocol.

0:21:36 > 0:21:40She doesn't know how she's supposed to think and behave and...

0:21:40 > 0:21:43Oh, my God! That was so refreshing!

0:21:45 > 0:21:47Won't give his name, but it's him all right.

0:21:47 > 0:21:51Hadn't been seen since Sunday night.

0:21:51 > 0:21:53Hamad Latif.

0:21:57 > 0:21:59It's become a murder inquiry.

0:21:59 > 0:22:02Nothing's actually changed, she's still missing,

0:22:02 > 0:22:05but...a shift in what I'm expected to find.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09People say we investigate the rich with more vigour than the poor,

0:22:09 > 0:22:11we investigate the dead with more vigour than the living.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13I'll give them that.

0:22:13 > 0:22:14Resources, manpower.

0:22:15 > 0:22:17The living are commonplace, I suppose.

0:22:19 > 0:22:21The dead teach us a lesson.

0:22:22 > 0:22:25INAUDIBLE

0:22:25 > 0:22:28Arla loves Hamad.

0:22:28 > 0:22:30He is one of her favourite people.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35He has issues, he can be a pain in the arse,

0:22:35 > 0:22:38but you can't dislike him. You can't.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41He would never hurt her.

0:22:42 > 0:22:44He would never hurt her.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47Otherwise, obviously, I mean, I wouldn't have...

0:22:48 > 0:22:50The coffee shop where he works

0:22:50 > 0:22:52is around the corner from Dominic's place.

0:22:52 > 0:22:57According to the manager, she didn't notice him and he took exception.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59She did, she mentioned it.

0:22:59 > 0:23:02Exception enough to warrant a 999 call on her part.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06We wanted to help him. We did help him.

0:23:06 > 0:23:09But, sometimes you have to look at the amount of time and energy

0:23:09 > 0:23:12you're putting into one person. That's what Arla said.

0:23:12 > 0:23:16"Gobby," that's all she said. He was gobby. "Gobby, as usual."

0:23:16 > 0:23:17And he had the job!

0:23:17 > 0:23:19That was us.

0:23:19 > 0:23:21He was happy with the job.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23He said he was happy with the job.

0:23:23 > 0:23:24"Do you want fries with that?"

0:23:24 > 0:23:26She thought it was a joke, it was a coffee shop.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28"Don't forget the many because of the one,

0:23:28 > 0:23:31"don't forget the one because of the many." Arla was always saying that.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34She hadn't heard him, he was the one making the coffee

0:23:34 > 0:23:36so he had his back turned to the customers.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38She was more or less out of the door, she said,

0:23:38 > 0:23:40and then this thing about fries.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42And he came round from behind the counter.

0:23:42 > 0:23:46The police wanted to know why he called her so many times

0:23:46 > 0:23:48and why she didn't answer.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50She loved Hamad.

0:23:50 > 0:23:52Everybody loved Hamad.

0:23:53 > 0:23:54And he was happy with the job!

0:23:54 > 0:23:56He told me he was happy.

0:23:56 > 0:23:59Otherwise, why would I have given him her number?

0:23:59 > 0:24:01SHE PANTS

0:24:03 > 0:24:06INAUDIBLE

0:24:11 > 0:24:13Suppose he followed her.

0:24:13 > 0:24:16Suppose he followed her and waited for her.

0:24:16 > 0:24:19I know these kids, they're messed up. I've met them.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21It won't be him.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24Suppose he followed her here and waited for her outside.

0:24:24 > 0:24:27Suppose he took her and she's dead!

0:24:29 > 0:24:30It won't be him.

0:24:33 > 0:24:34He did it.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37He killed her.

0:24:42 > 0:24:45SHE PANTS

0:24:48 > 0:24:50MUFFLED SCREAMS, RUSTLING

0:24:50 > 0:24:53GUNSHOT, MUFFLED SCREAMS

0:24:53 > 0:24:54PANTING

0:24:54 > 0:24:56I'm sorry!

0:24:56 > 0:24:58OFFICE HUBBUB

0:25:32 > 0:25:34You imagine, when you get into this work,

0:25:34 > 0:25:37you'll be pitting your wits against criminals,

0:25:37 > 0:25:39working out motives and means,

0:25:39 > 0:25:42confronting offenders with the fruits of your labour,

0:25:42 > 0:25:43watching them squirm on a hook.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47It's better to simply gather up facts

0:25:47 > 0:25:50in quantities which make it hard for a suspect

0:25:50 > 0:25:52to come up with an unincriminating explanation.

0:25:56 > 0:25:59Accumulation of detail is intimidating for someone

0:25:59 > 0:26:00who's not telling the truth.

0:26:00 > 0:26:03It's the doggedness, the rigour. It unnerves them.

0:26:03 > 0:26:06I'm not necessarily saying I can explain what I'm presenting,

0:26:06 > 0:26:07but I don't have to.

0:26:07 > 0:26:10I'm just saying, "Look at this, and this, and this.

0:26:10 > 0:26:12"And now look at what YOU say.

0:26:13 > 0:26:15"How come they don't tally up?"

0:26:16 > 0:26:20Hamad Latif says that he just wanted to say sorry.

0:26:20 > 0:26:22That's all he'll say.

0:26:22 > 0:26:24That's why he phoned her all those times -

0:26:24 > 0:26:26he just wanted to say sorry to her.

0:26:26 > 0:26:28And, also, he's sorry now.

0:26:28 > 0:26:29I asked him why he was sorry now.

0:26:29 > 0:26:31He put his head on the table.

0:26:31 > 0:26:34I asked him where she was now.

0:26:34 > 0:26:35He kept it there.

0:26:40 > 0:26:43If you gather up all the video from all the security cameras

0:26:43 > 0:26:45on this street, where Dominic Cotterall lives,

0:26:45 > 0:26:46and there are a good number,

0:26:46 > 0:26:49and some of the residents are rich and powerful

0:26:49 > 0:26:51and don't necessarily care to share data

0:26:51 > 0:26:53with the likes of police officers - even me.

0:26:53 > 0:26:56But if you're polite and persistent, and give off the air of someone

0:26:56 > 0:26:59who's never actually going to go away unless and until

0:26:59 > 0:27:00you get what you're asking for,

0:27:00 > 0:27:03you will receive, eventually, a response.

0:27:03 > 0:27:06And if you cobble that together across a timeline,

0:27:06 > 0:27:10you get a portrait of the comings and goings between midday on Sunday,

0:27:10 > 0:27:13when Arla Beckman left without her heels or her nice Hermes bag,

0:27:13 > 0:27:16came back half an hour later with two coffees...

0:27:20 > 0:27:21..and 5:00 on the Monday,

0:27:21 > 0:27:25when Dominic Cotterall drove away in his car to visit his father.

0:27:29 > 0:27:31The portrait's pretty comprehensive.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34It includes Hamad Latif.

0:27:40 > 0:27:43I asked Latif why he was walking round the square

0:27:43 > 0:27:45for nearly an hour on a Sunday.

0:27:45 > 0:27:47He just said he was sorry.

0:27:47 > 0:27:50I asked him why he's phoned her all those times, he said he was sorry.

0:27:50 > 0:27:51I asked him where she was now.

0:27:51 > 0:27:52"Sorry."

0:27:52 > 0:27:55I asked him if there wasn't anything he could tell us

0:27:55 > 0:27:57that would help us find her. "Sorry."

0:27:57 > 0:28:00Bangs his head on the table and cries like a girl. "Sorry, sorry."

0:28:00 > 0:28:01Always sorry.

0:28:01 > 0:28:03Sorry.

0:28:03 > 0:28:05I don't think I've ever met a man so sorry.

0:28:07 > 0:28:09And he is.

0:28:09 > 0:28:11He's all over the CCTV, he's all over the phone records.

0:28:11 > 0:28:13He's all over all of it like a rash.

0:28:15 > 0:28:18Something that's not there is also very striking.

0:28:20 > 0:28:23Arla Beckman goes into Dominic Cotterall's house

0:28:23 > 0:28:24with two coffees

0:28:24 > 0:28:27on Sunday afternoon at 12:06...

0:28:29 > 0:28:32..and never comes out.

0:29:03 > 0:29:05When I woke up...

0:29:06 > 0:29:07..she was gone.

0:29:28 > 0:29:30Don't touch the product.

0:29:30 > 0:29:31Know your customer.

0:29:31 > 0:29:33Be indispensable.

0:29:37 > 0:29:40Three principles - don't touch the product, obviously,

0:29:40 > 0:29:41first and foremost.

0:29:41 > 0:29:43Know your customer, two.

0:29:43 > 0:29:45And three, be indispensable.

0:29:46 > 0:29:48This life holds a plethora of temptations.

0:29:48 > 0:29:51Opportunities to indulge or abuse yourself.

0:29:51 > 0:29:54And the path of rectitude and sobriety is fucking hard to find,

0:29:54 > 0:29:56and harder still to navigate.

0:29:56 > 0:29:59When you have wealth, all the more so.

0:29:59 > 0:30:01When you're born into wealth and entitlement,

0:30:01 > 0:30:03all the more so, squared.

0:30:03 > 0:30:06Everything that the rest of us take for granted,

0:30:06 > 0:30:08basically, where your wits run when it fucking runs out,

0:30:08 > 0:30:11is that bit less obvious to the chauffeur-driven classes.

0:30:12 > 0:30:14The principle of action and consequence

0:30:14 > 0:30:18are far from clear to a man who's never washed up a porridge pan.

0:30:20 > 0:30:22What do I mean by indispensable?

0:30:22 > 0:30:24I mean, being there to fill in the gaps

0:30:24 > 0:30:25between knowledge and appreciation

0:30:25 > 0:30:28between your client and cold, hard reality.

0:30:29 > 0:30:31Oftentimes,

0:30:31 > 0:30:35that class of person cannot infer from the facts of what's going down.

0:30:35 > 0:30:39If you can be their agitant, their officer providing enlightenment,

0:30:39 > 0:30:42you can make yourself a very nice living.

0:30:42 > 0:30:45As long as you remain aware you barely register as human,

0:30:45 > 0:30:47you can be indispensable.

0:30:47 > 0:30:49For those moments when life strews

0:30:49 > 0:30:52extraneous objects across the carriageway...

0:30:53 > 0:30:55..that need to be removed.

0:31:02 > 0:31:05So, that's why I don't like it when I get called a drug dealer.

0:31:05 > 0:31:07It's like calling Katrina a breeze.

0:31:11 > 0:31:13I learnt this shit at Lehman Brothers.

0:31:31 > 0:31:35They don't say, "You can't come in till your father gets here."

0:31:35 > 0:31:37If he ever fucking does.

0:31:41 > 0:31:43They don't say, "Your disreputability stinks

0:31:43 > 0:31:46"like shit on your shoe and all of London's calling you

0:31:46 > 0:31:47"a murderer behind your back."

0:31:47 > 0:31:50They just say, "Can we get you a drink and the day's paper?"

0:31:50 > 0:31:52Out here, to the foyer,

0:31:52 > 0:31:55with the florists and the bicycle couriers.

0:31:58 > 0:32:01When you get expelled from school, they don't ever quite tell you.

0:32:01 > 0:32:04One moment, you're galloping onto the playing fields

0:32:04 > 0:32:07in your rugger kit, the next you're sat on the back seat of a car,

0:32:07 > 0:32:09next to your trunk, and your father's in a black mood

0:32:09 > 0:32:12in the front stinking of Scotch and Sobranies.

0:32:13 > 0:32:16Eton was out of the question after that, of course.

0:32:16 > 0:32:18That's all he said,

0:32:18 > 0:32:19all he had to.

0:32:21 > 0:32:24Ten years old and already in the wilderness.

0:32:29 > 0:32:31LAUGHTER NEARBY

0:32:50 > 0:32:52The detective wanted to know

0:32:52 > 0:32:55whether there was any way Arla could have got out of the back.

0:32:55 > 0:32:59The CCTV shows she definitely didn't leave by the front.

0:32:59 > 0:33:02Did I mind that she'd brought a forensics team with her?

0:33:02 > 0:33:05Was it OK that they had a poke around?

0:33:05 > 0:33:07Did we sleep with the window open?

0:33:07 > 0:33:09Was it possible that someone like Hamad Latif

0:33:09 > 0:33:11could've have got in during the night?

0:33:11 > 0:33:14Presumably I'd been sleeping very heavily.

0:33:14 > 0:33:17Given the circumstances,

0:33:17 > 0:33:20she'd lost her deference.

0:33:20 > 0:33:24I said, "I suppose if someone came through the side entrance gate

0:33:24 > 0:33:27"of the mews house at the back, across their yard

0:33:27 > 0:33:31"and climbed over my garden wall, then, theoretically, yeah."

0:33:31 > 0:33:34"Well, then, theoretically, Arla could've gone out that way?"

0:33:34 > 0:33:35That's what she said.

0:33:35 > 0:33:38She said she thought the people at the house at the back

0:33:38 > 0:33:41would've noticed something. She'd send an officer round to enquire.

0:33:41 > 0:33:44I said, "I wouldn't bother. It's owned by some artist woman,

0:33:44 > 0:33:46"and she's only ever there during the summer."

0:33:47 > 0:33:49She seemed struck by that.

0:33:54 > 0:33:56WOMAN CALLS OUT

0:33:56 > 0:33:58'Good boy!'

0:34:09 > 0:34:11I asked him if she'd taken the picture.

0:34:11 > 0:34:13There was a picture missing from the wall.

0:34:13 > 0:34:16I asked him if she'd taken it with her when she left.

0:34:16 > 0:34:18He said, no, HE'D taken it.

0:34:18 > 0:34:21It belonged to his father and he'd taken it to give it back to him.

0:34:21 > 0:34:24It was something she'd always encouraged him to do -

0:34:24 > 0:34:25reconcile with his father.

0:34:25 > 0:34:28I said, "You swore off drug abuse and reconciled with your father,

0:34:28 > 0:34:30"but this was just an ordinary day?

0:34:30 > 0:34:33"Are you sure you didn't fight?

0:34:33 > 0:34:36"You sure she didn't say it was over, and then you fought?"

0:34:36 > 0:34:38'Oh, my God...'

0:34:38 > 0:34:42He's craving narcotics. It's like a fever in him.

0:34:42 > 0:34:44Makes him eager to please,

0:34:44 > 0:34:47vulnerable to the right tone of voice or line of questioning.

0:34:47 > 0:34:49"She went in," I said, "but she appears not to have come out.

0:34:49 > 0:34:51"How can that be?"

0:34:52 > 0:34:54For a moment, I thought he was about to confess.

0:34:55 > 0:34:57The look he gave me was almost imploring.

0:34:59 > 0:35:01Then he offered me a cup of tea.

0:35:14 > 0:35:16RINGING TONE

0:35:19 > 0:35:20HE SIGHS

0:35:27 > 0:35:30I used to be able to recite the name and date

0:35:30 > 0:35:34of every Earl of Monmouth from 1592 until now.

0:35:34 > 0:35:37There's not as many as you might think.

0:35:37 > 0:35:39We're a long-lived bunch of bastards.

0:35:39 > 0:35:412,000 acres,

0:35:41 > 0:35:42with a wall around it.

0:35:43 > 0:35:45RUSTLING, PANTING

0:35:45 > 0:35:46GUNSHOT

0:35:46 > 0:35:49What Hindley and Brady would've given for that!

0:35:49 > 0:35:53The first acquitted himself valiantly against the Armada

0:35:53 > 0:35:55alongside Drake at Gravelines.

0:35:55 > 0:35:58And the Queen showed her gratitude by bestowing the title

0:35:58 > 0:36:01and a great parcel of land upon him.

0:36:01 > 0:36:05His name was Thomas Cotterall, 1592.

0:36:05 > 0:36:08The house he built was destroyed by fire in 1708.

0:36:08 > 0:36:11I told him I was surprised he wasn't inviting his brief.

0:36:12 > 0:36:15He opened his mouth to speak, but then he closed it.

0:36:15 > 0:36:18It seemed to me that that brief wasn't available to him any more.

0:36:18 > 0:36:20His father's brief.

0:36:20 > 0:36:23RINGING TONE

0:36:30 > 0:36:34Cotterall blood is a heady brew.

0:36:34 > 0:36:36You have to know how to handle it.

0:36:37 > 0:36:39Like others before him,

0:36:39 > 0:36:43Dominic wanted to staunch it or cauterise it,

0:36:43 > 0:36:46and miscegenated with girls

0:36:46 > 0:36:48from the seamier parts of town.

0:36:48 > 0:36:51His body rejected it.

0:36:51 > 0:36:54It chafed inside his veins.

0:36:58 > 0:37:01I used to steal a look at my dad out from under my arm

0:37:01 > 0:37:03when he was kicking me.

0:37:03 > 0:37:06I'd think, "Name, Greville Norman Cotterall.

0:37:06 > 0:37:09"Assumed the title, 1983."

0:37:09 > 0:37:10Kicking.

0:37:10 > 0:37:13Sometimes he was spitting, swearing, cursing.

0:37:13 > 0:37:16Morris Cotterall, 1951.

0:37:16 > 0:37:18Howard Cotterall, 1927.

0:37:18 > 0:37:21And up there on the wall, the painting.

0:37:21 > 0:37:25With an effort of will, I could lose myself in it.

0:37:25 > 0:37:27Charles Cotterall, 1889.

0:37:27 > 0:37:29"What are you?!" "Scared."

0:37:29 > 0:37:30"What are you?!"

0:37:30 > 0:37:33"Scared. I'm scared!"

0:37:33 > 0:37:34And the painting,

0:37:34 > 0:37:36so quiet,

0:37:36 > 0:37:38no sound,

0:37:38 > 0:37:39even the colour's muted.

0:37:39 > 0:37:43"Why haven't you called Miss Beckman since she left on Sunday?"

0:37:43 > 0:37:45William Cotterall, 1857.

0:37:45 > 0:37:48Charles Cotterall The Elder, 1833.

0:37:48 > 0:37:50The only colour in the painting.

0:37:50 > 0:37:52The ploughman's shirt.

0:37:52 > 0:37:54Right there in the middle.

0:37:54 > 0:37:57I would latch myself onto that,

0:37:57 > 0:38:00the ploughman with his plough, centre stage!

0:38:00 > 0:38:02So vivid in his shirt.

0:38:02 > 0:38:04"Why did you go and visit your father

0:38:04 > 0:38:06"when you haven't seen each other in a decade?"

0:38:06 > 0:38:08Richard Cotterall, 1802.

0:38:08 > 0:38:11Everything in its place, orderly and benign.

0:38:12 > 0:38:15Only that silly chap drowning himself.

0:38:15 > 0:38:18Making a big production, disturbing the peace.

0:38:18 > 0:38:19And that was me.

0:38:20 > 0:38:22And I'd think, soon enough,

0:38:22 > 0:38:24the waves will close over him

0:38:24 > 0:38:26and he'll be forgotten.

0:38:26 > 0:38:28And there'll be peace.

0:38:32 > 0:38:34There'll be peace.

0:38:40 > 0:38:42That same blood...

0:38:43 > 0:38:46..runs through Laurence's veins...

0:38:48 > 0:38:50..like liquid silk.

0:39:00 > 0:39:04For ten years, not a word passes between father and son,

0:39:04 > 0:39:07until the day Arla Beckman goes missing.

0:39:07 > 0:39:09On that day,

0:39:09 > 0:39:12he drives to the Cotterall stately home in 2,000 acres,

0:39:12 > 0:39:15with a bubble-wrapped package. Comes out through the front door.

0:39:17 > 0:39:19But somehow manages to leave bubble wrap on the gate

0:39:19 > 0:39:21of a mews house round the back.

0:39:28 > 0:39:30The painting.

0:39:30 > 0:39:33A painting his girlfriend encourages him to return

0:39:33 > 0:39:36to his father to promote reconciliation.

0:39:37 > 0:39:40I asked him, "Was she pleased about that?"

0:39:40 > 0:39:43Or was she gone before he even took it off the wall?

0:39:53 > 0:39:54Dad isn't coming.

0:39:54 > 0:39:58That was clear to them inside long before it was clear to me.

0:39:58 > 0:40:01Your father slapping a writ on Bryony Phelps

0:40:01 > 0:40:03was never going to calm things down,

0:40:03 > 0:40:05it was always going to stir things up.

0:40:05 > 0:40:07He didn't have my back.

0:40:08 > 0:40:10He didn't have my back at all.

0:40:10 > 0:40:12He just saw right through me, like he always did.

0:40:14 > 0:40:18He opened his doors and he sat me down and he heard me out.

0:40:18 > 0:40:20And he nodded and he smiled.

0:40:20 > 0:40:22And he put his hand on mine,

0:40:22 > 0:40:25and he sent me into the lion's den.

0:40:25 > 0:40:27Again!

0:40:28 > 0:40:29List the list.

0:40:29 > 0:40:32All the earls and their dates.

0:40:32 > 0:40:34Shut your eyes and think of England.

0:40:38 > 0:40:40I told him she was missing.

0:40:42 > 0:40:44But he KNEW I'd killed her.

0:40:46 > 0:40:49He knew I'd killed her, and why...

0:40:51 > 0:40:52..and he didn't care.

0:41:00 > 0:41:02This looks interesting.

0:41:02 > 0:41:04ELECTRONIC BEEPING

0:41:07 > 0:41:08RUNNING, PANTING

0:41:09 > 0:41:11PANTING

0:41:13 > 0:41:14GUNSHOT

0:41:20 > 0:41:23DOG BARKS

0:41:25 > 0:41:26What have you found there, boy?

0:41:29 > 0:41:32- RADIO:- 'No formal identification has taken place,

0:41:32 > 0:41:34'but police say they believe the body,

0:41:34 > 0:41:38'which was found in rose bushes beside the crematorium building,

0:41:38 > 0:41:40'to be that of Arla Beckman.'

0:41:40 > 0:41:42MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:41:48 > 0:41:50So,

0:41:50 > 0:41:52not in the London Eye after all.

0:41:57 > 0:41:58- SADLY:- Shame.

0:42:07 > 0:42:08She was happy.

0:42:08 > 0:42:12The policewoman, she asked me that - "Was she happy?"

0:42:13 > 0:42:14She was.

0:42:14 > 0:42:17I didn't like it, but she was.

0:42:18 > 0:42:21I knew she was going there when she didn't say goodbye,

0:42:21 > 0:42:22and I ran out after her.

0:42:22 > 0:42:25I actually left the meeting to run out after her.

0:42:26 > 0:42:29I said, "You're seeing him, aren't you? I know you are!"

0:42:29 > 0:42:33I was shouting. I said, "He doesn't care about any of this.

0:42:33 > 0:42:36"He doesn't care about any of us. Can't you see that?"

0:42:36 > 0:42:37SHE SNIFFLES

0:42:37 > 0:42:40"He makes me happy," she said.

0:42:40 > 0:42:43"Get it in your head."

0:42:43 > 0:42:45She said she'd rather be happy than right.

0:42:47 > 0:42:51- She said- I- was right, and Alex was right, and Liferaft was right,

0:42:51 > 0:42:53but none of us made her happy.

0:42:54 > 0:42:56And Dominic was wrong -

0:42:56 > 0:42:58and he did.

0:42:59 > 0:43:01But I wasn't right...

0:43:03 > 0:43:05..and now she's dead.

0:43:15 > 0:43:17I love you just as you are.

0:43:22 > 0:43:25"I love you just as you are." That's what she said.

0:43:27 > 0:43:29Loved by her...

0:43:30 > 0:43:32..my life made sense.

0:43:32 > 0:43:34- I- made sense.

0:43:35 > 0:43:38Loved by her, she could love me.

0:43:39 > 0:43:41And that changed everything.

0:43:41 > 0:43:42Everything.

0:43:46 > 0:43:48And then I killed her.

0:43:53 > 0:43:55I had a contact at the crematorium...

0:43:56 > 0:43:58Arranged to leave the door unlocked for me that night.

0:43:58 > 0:44:00Furnace lit.

0:44:01 > 0:44:04The door was locked, the contact was nowhere about,

0:44:04 > 0:44:06not available on his mobile.

0:44:06 > 0:44:08All the predictable bullshit of normality.

0:44:10 > 0:44:12I lay her down when I tried to call him.

0:44:14 > 0:44:16Security patrol arrived.

0:44:18 > 0:44:19I lay down beside her.

0:44:21 > 0:44:22We were face-to-face.

0:44:25 > 0:44:27They were eating kebabs with the car doors open.

0:44:27 > 0:44:29Then they got out for a smoke.

0:44:31 > 0:44:33One of them took a piss.

0:44:35 > 0:44:37There were bats flying about.

0:44:40 > 0:44:41I started thinking about

0:44:41 > 0:44:43how I might have to kill these guys if they saw me.

0:44:43 > 0:44:46Started wondering about the rights and wrongs of that,

0:44:46 > 0:44:49putting aside any question whether I could even do it.

0:44:51 > 0:44:53She arrived in such a very good mood.

0:44:54 > 0:44:56It seemed to say, "This is it.

0:44:56 > 0:44:59"Everything has changed. I can save you."

0:44:59 > 0:45:02Both of us. And, with her, I could do it.

0:45:02 > 0:45:05She was always saying, "Let's just fly away to Zanzibar!"

0:45:05 > 0:45:08And, this time, I said, "Yes! Yes, let's!

0:45:08 > 0:45:10"Let's just grab a bag and a passport

0:45:10 > 0:45:13"and let's, for fuck's sake, just go!

0:45:13 > 0:45:15"Let's chuck all this shit down the lavatory.

0:45:15 > 0:45:18"All the powder and the pills, even the booze, we're done with it!

0:45:18 > 0:45:20"A new world awaits us!"

0:45:23 > 0:45:27She said, "Why don't we just use up what we have?

0:45:27 > 0:45:29"Why waste it?"

0:45:32 > 0:45:34The game wasn't over for her yet.

0:45:36 > 0:45:37It still had mileage in it.

0:45:40 > 0:45:42And I had a startling realisation

0:45:42 > 0:45:44that when it was eventually over...

0:45:47 > 0:45:48..she'd call up Alex

0:45:48 > 0:45:50and they'd both be sorry

0:45:50 > 0:45:52and they'd start afresh.

0:45:55 > 0:45:59It started as a joke on him, and it would end as a joke on me.

0:45:59 > 0:46:00And the joke was this...

0:46:02 > 0:46:04I wasn't good enough.

0:46:06 > 0:46:08I would never be good enough.

0:46:10 > 0:46:12And that's what she wanted.

0:46:15 > 0:46:17I was lying there for a long time.

0:46:17 > 0:46:20And this was the self-appraisal I came up with.

0:46:23 > 0:46:25I'd fallen for my own propaganda.

0:46:27 > 0:46:28I could smell dog shit.

0:46:30 > 0:46:32I was cowering in the dirt

0:46:32 > 0:46:34beside a dead woman in a graveyard.

0:46:35 > 0:46:37For what?

0:46:38 > 0:46:40For Dominic Cotterall?

0:46:47 > 0:46:51It must've been two in the morning.

0:46:51 > 0:46:52He was, what, ten?

0:46:52 > 0:46:56And he'd been jacked out of school.

0:46:56 > 0:46:59We'd barely said a word in the car all the way home.

0:47:00 > 0:47:03I woke him with a rifle in my hands,

0:47:03 > 0:47:07took him downstairs by the scruff of the neck, and out.

0:47:08 > 0:47:09To here.

0:47:10 > 0:47:12He was shaking.

0:47:13 > 0:47:16He probably thought I was going to shoot him, then and there.

0:47:18 > 0:47:20And, perhaps I should have.

0:47:21 > 0:47:23He kept looking...

0:47:23 > 0:47:25at the rifle.

0:47:26 > 0:47:27I said, "Run."

0:47:28 > 0:47:30I said, "Run!"

0:47:30 > 0:47:32"Run!

0:47:32 > 0:47:34"Keep your eyes tight shut,

0:47:34 > 0:47:38"and run as far and as fast as you can, boy!

0:47:39 > 0:47:41"Run until you drop!

0:47:41 > 0:47:44"Until you drop, boy!

0:47:44 > 0:47:48"And you'll still be on Cotterall land!"

0:47:48 > 0:47:51RUSTLING, PANTING

0:47:51 > 0:47:52GUNSHOT

0:47:52 > 0:47:53HE CRIES OUT

0:47:55 > 0:47:57GUNSHOT

0:47:57 > 0:47:59HE PANTS

0:47:59 > 0:48:01GUNSHOTS

0:48:03 > 0:48:06SOUND DISTORTS, HE PANTS

0:48:06 > 0:48:08DISTORTED GUNSHOT

0:48:08 > 0:48:09'So, that's what we did.'

0:48:09 > 0:48:12We gathered up everything and anything we could find

0:48:12 > 0:48:16and we laid it out on the table there. We binged.

0:48:17 > 0:48:19We were like mad things.

0:48:20 > 0:48:23And when she crashed out, I kept going.

0:48:24 > 0:48:27Like you said, "Why waste it?" I kept going.

0:48:27 > 0:48:29DISTORTED SCREAMS

0:48:38 > 0:48:40When I woke, she was...

0:48:41 > 0:48:43..dead.

0:48:44 > 0:48:47She was cold and there was...

0:48:49 > 0:48:51..froth in her mouth...

0:48:52 > 0:48:54And I was on my knees.

0:48:54 > 0:48:58I was on my knees, shaking her and...

0:48:59 > 0:49:02..her phone was there so I snatched it up

0:49:02 > 0:49:05and I called 999 and they said, "Which service would you like?"

0:49:07 > 0:49:08And I thought...I suddenly thought,

0:49:08 > 0:49:11"None of these services are going to do her any good at all,

0:49:11 > 0:49:13"or me."

0:49:15 > 0:49:17And then, she sort of

0:49:17 > 0:49:18lurched.

0:49:20 > 0:49:21Just once.

0:49:21 > 0:49:23And there was a...

0:49:23 > 0:49:27terrible noise from her throat, briefly.

0:49:29 > 0:49:33And they were saying, "Which service, caller? Which service?"

0:49:35 > 0:49:37And I thought about Abbedon Hall.

0:49:38 > 0:49:40I thought of my father.

0:49:41 > 0:49:44The first earl and the 31st.

0:49:45 > 0:49:48The names and the dates, the unbroken line.

0:49:51 > 0:49:53And I rang off and called Kendrick.

0:49:56 > 0:49:59For the first time in my life, I'd started to think like a Cotterall.

0:50:04 > 0:50:05And when we finished speaking...

0:50:09 > 0:50:10I waited for...

0:50:10 > 0:50:12for her to go.

0:50:16 > 0:50:17I don't know how long it took...

0:50:20 > 0:50:21..but I let her go...

0:50:22 > 0:50:24..to become a Cotterall.

0:50:26 > 0:50:27Like my father.

0:50:30 > 0:50:33He stayed out there all that night

0:50:33 > 0:50:35and the following day.

0:50:37 > 0:50:39I heard later that he'd soiled himself.

0:50:41 > 0:50:43He stole that rifle from me eventually,

0:50:43 > 0:50:45along with a painting.

0:50:47 > 0:50:50It was the gamekeeper brought him back.

0:50:52 > 0:50:54He'd probably be out there now...

0:50:55 > 0:50:57..if he hadn't.

0:51:16 > 0:51:19Father's on his way round.

0:51:19 > 0:51:22I've told him this time I'll make it worth his while.

0:51:23 > 0:51:26Renounce my inheritance in favour of Laurence.

0:51:27 > 0:51:30You think you can kick free of stuff.

0:51:30 > 0:51:32Corrosive reputation,

0:51:32 > 0:51:34drug chaos lifestyle,

0:51:34 > 0:51:37family history, but they're not things you do -

0:51:37 > 0:51:38they're things you ARE.

0:51:38 > 0:51:41HE SOBS

0:51:41 > 0:51:46Our family history is a catalogue of black deeds.

0:51:46 > 0:51:49Killers, rapists, madmen...

0:51:50 > 0:51:52Bad blood.

0:51:52 > 0:51:54Bad all the way back.

0:51:54 > 0:51:58We're like some terrible undead creature

0:51:58 > 0:51:59traipsing through the centuries.

0:52:00 > 0:52:02The Cotteralls.

0:52:12 > 0:52:14Fuck!

0:52:42 > 0:52:44This isn't something that I take lightly.

0:52:46 > 0:52:49It's not a victory to crow over.

0:52:49 > 0:52:51I intend to give it to Dad.

0:52:52 > 0:52:53Both barrels.

0:52:55 > 0:52:57I've asked her to go easy on Kendrick.

0:52:57 > 0:52:59He was only doing what he was asked.

0:52:59 > 0:53:02When you lie in bed here at Abbedon...

0:53:03 > 0:53:06..in the blackness of the night,

0:53:06 > 0:53:09surrounded by these 2,000 acres,

0:53:09 > 0:53:13these fabled acres...

0:53:13 > 0:53:16and the house is still and quiet...

0:53:18 > 0:53:21..you become one with your ancestors...

0:53:22 > 0:53:26..who lay precisely here, thinking perhaps

0:53:26 > 0:53:28precisely that.

0:53:29 > 0:53:32The shoes Arla was wearing when we first met.

0:53:34 > 0:53:36The colour, she said it was...

0:53:37 > 0:53:38.."vermillion".

0:53:44 > 0:53:46It was almost obscene.

0:53:47 > 0:53:49Luminous, like she was.

0:53:52 > 0:53:55I think it's the sexiest colour I've ever seen.

0:54:00 > 0:54:02I wanted to paint my house that colour.

0:54:04 > 0:54:07Not just my house, my whole life.

0:54:08 > 0:54:09Vermillion!

0:54:10 > 0:54:13Just saying it sends a shiver down me.

0:54:13 > 0:54:16I actually got down on all fours

0:54:16 > 0:54:18so that I could stare at her shoes.

0:54:18 > 0:54:20She was laughing.

0:54:20 > 0:54:22She wore them the first time she came,

0:54:22 > 0:54:24so that we could match the colour.

0:54:24 > 0:54:26Vermillion.

0:54:31 > 0:54:33It was the colour of the ploughman's shirt.

0:54:44 > 0:54:46DOOR BELL RINGS

0:54:46 > 0:54:51MUSIC: Ebben? from La Wally by Alfredo Catalani

0:54:57 > 0:54:59LOCK CLICKS

0:55:09 > 0:55:11Dominic!

0:55:11 > 0:55:13MUSIC INTENSIFIES

0:55:18 > 0:55:21Dominic!

0:55:23 > 0:55:26GUNSHOT ECHOES

0:57:15 > 0:57:19# Something's gotten hold of my heart

0:57:19 > 0:57:24# Keeping my soul and my senses apart

0:57:26 > 0:57:30# Something's gotten into my life

0:57:30 > 0:57:35# Cutting its way through my dreams like a knife

0:57:35 > 0:57:39# Turning me up, and turning me down

0:57:39 > 0:57:42# Making me smile... #