Carol

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0:00:04 > 0:00:08You've not given me your name.

0:00:08 > 0:00:10PANTING

0:00:10 > 0:00:14You've not been answering my questions.

0:00:14 > 0:00:17We found gunshot residue on your clothing.

0:00:21 > 0:00:23And now you'd better start thinking hard,

0:00:23 > 0:00:25because we've just heard from the hospital.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31One of the victims died 20 minutes ago.

0:00:33 > 0:00:35This is now a murder investigation.

0:00:44 > 0:00:46Can I go home, please?

0:00:49 > 0:00:50Just for a bit.

0:00:50 > 0:00:53Then I'll be back, I promise.

0:00:56 > 0:00:59I swear on my life.

0:01:01 > 0:01:06- You know, I'd feel much happier if there was a parent, or guardian... - Or a name.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08- My line manager's... - Calling you back, yeah, you said.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20You're not going anywhere.

0:01:20 > 0:01:28This programme contains some strong language

0:01:33 > 0:01:36# Is this the life

0:01:38 > 0:01:40# You would have hoped for?

0:01:43 > 0:01:45# Is this the life

0:01:47 > 0:01:50# You would have died for?

0:01:53 > 0:01:58# But how things change

0:02:00 > 0:02:05# Oh-oh-h!

0:02:05 > 0:02:11# Yet stay the same

0:02:15 > 0:02:18# Is this the life

0:02:21 > 0:02:24# You would have wished for?

0:02:27 > 0:02:30# Is this the life

0:02:30 > 0:02:33# You would have killed for?

0:02:37 > 0:02:41# But how things change

0:02:44 > 0:02:50# Oh-oh-h!

0:02:50 > 0:02:56# Yet stay the same. #

0:02:56 > 0:02:57CHECKOUT ITEMS BEEP

0:03:04 > 0:03:07OK, all right then, OK.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09ITEMS BEEP

0:03:11 > 0:03:13I wasn't going anyway.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15Exactly.

0:03:15 > 0:03:20- Hmm. Yeah. I heard she was going...- Cashback?

0:03:20 > 0:03:22Hmm, no, exactly.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24- Gastric band?- Sorry?

0:03:24 > 0:03:26You got a Plus Card?

0:03:26 > 0:03:28- OK.- Yeah, hmm.

0:03:28 > 0:03:30Type in your pin, please.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39All right, OK. Yeah, lovely, yeah. Well, I'll see you there later.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43- TANNOY: - 'Colleague announcement, can...'

0:04:11 > 0:04:12Right.

0:04:14 > 0:04:15BEEPING

0:04:15 > 0:04:17CASH REGISTER WHIRRS AND OPENS

0:04:17 > 0:04:18Have you, um...?

0:04:18 > 0:04:25- Do you want cashback?- Hmm? - You got a Plus Card?- Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm paying by cash.

0:04:55 > 0:04:58'You know the best thing about teenagers?

0:04:58 > 0:05:00'The mornings.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04'Letting that first chink of light into their tombs,

0:05:04 > 0:05:07'the fragrant waft of footwear,

0:05:07 > 0:05:11'finding 300 quid in someone's sock drawer...

0:05:15 > 0:05:19'..guessing who might have put it there.

0:05:19 > 0:05:22'Makes a change from 50p down the back of the sofa, doesn't it?'

0:05:22 > 0:05:27- What you doing, Mum? Get out! What? - This "what." Found it in Ky's drawer.- So ask him.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30I don't want a negotiation, I just want to know who you got it from...

0:05:30 > 0:05:32Mum, I don't know what you're talking about.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34- I said I want to know who you got it from...- I don't need this.

0:05:34 > 0:05:39'Anyway, the thing to do is to keep talking, just keep the channels of communication open,

0:05:39 > 0:05:43'so you try to see it his way, he tries to see it your way...'

0:05:43 > 0:05:46..when you're probably all nice and fun to be with and all that.

0:05:46 > 0:05:49All I get is what's left over, and do you know what that is? It's a piece of shit.

0:05:51 > 0:05:55- Where you going?- Work.- Oh. Work(!) - What do you mean? - I phoned last Tuesday.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58It was the day after Danny got killed.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Look, I stayed with his mum.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03I thought they wouldn't give me the time off, so I told them I was ill.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05- That's the only time I lied.- Oh.

0:06:05 > 0:06:11Oh, right, so, what? So, that bit you lied, um, the money bit you didn't lie,

0:06:11 > 0:06:14and all the other times... Oh, Christ, I'm losing track here.

0:06:14 > 0:06:18- You won't listen to me! - I don't care about you dropping out of your job, I don't care.

0:06:18 > 0:06:21Look, I'll just write it off, like everything else,

0:06:21 > 0:06:24- but I don't want your brother and sister getting sucked in! - It's not my money!

0:06:24 > 0:06:25I don't want you infecting them!

0:06:28 > 0:06:32'And if you go over the top, say something maybe you wished you hadn't,

0:06:32 > 0:06:34'I mean, it's not the end of the world, is it?'

0:06:38 > 0:06:44Sorry, sorry, sorry about that. I should have made a list.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46Always should make a list...

0:06:46 > 0:06:47I'm so sorry, sorry.

0:06:48 > 0:06:50- OK?- Yes, sorry.

0:06:50 > 0:06:51Oh!

0:06:54 > 0:06:57'They know how to press your buttons, see?

0:06:59 > 0:07:01'That's what they're hardwired to do.'

0:07:04 > 0:07:09OK, if it makes you happy, it is. I hid it in Ky's drawer just for fun, right?

0:07:09 > 0:07:13I met a guy, didn't I? Showed me how to mix crack with benzocaine.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15£500 for 15 minutes' work.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18How's your day job going?

0:07:21 > 0:07:24'So what you've got to do is, you've got to be patient.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31'You've got to stop and breathe in,

0:07:31 > 0:07:39'take nice, long, deep breaths, count to ten,

0:07:39 > 0:07:40'and back off a bit.'

0:07:42 > 0:07:45I'm sorry. You're right. I should have asked Kyle.

0:07:45 > 0:07:46I just...

0:07:49 > 0:07:51I'm just tired.

0:07:53 > 0:07:54Yeah.

0:07:54 > 0:07:58- I just... I thought that... - I'm not...

0:07:58 > 0:08:00'Tell him you love him...'

0:08:00 > 0:08:01..I swear.

0:08:01 > 0:08:02'..and cut him some slack...'

0:08:10 > 0:08:12'..however...

0:08:13 > 0:08:17'..you're tired and you've got a headache,

0:08:17 > 0:08:21'so...you kind of improvise.'

0:08:22 > 0:08:26'£500 for 15 minutes' work.'

0:08:26 > 0:08:28How's your day job going?

0:08:42 > 0:08:44'That's a first for us both.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47'Guess I'm not a morning person after all.'

0:08:52 > 0:08:53SHE SNIFFLES

0:08:54 > 0:08:55DOOR SLAMS

0:09:07 > 0:09:11MUSIC ON RADIO: "Take My Breath Away" by Berlin

0:09:21 > 0:09:24- RADIO:- 'Good afternoon, April Marshall, through to six.

0:09:24 > 0:09:25'If you, like me,

0:09:25 > 0:09:29'are looking forward to a lazy, sun-soaked weekend working on that...'

0:09:42 > 0:09:46- Oh, hi.- Hi.- Sorry, miles away.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49- Sorry about that. - Nah, you deserve a medal.

0:09:51 > 0:09:55Is Kyle coming over tonight? Only, he, er... Gabriel was saying something.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58- Oh, I forgot, are you sure that's OK?- Yes, no problem.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01We're out at a do, but Riyako could make them some dinner

0:10:01 > 0:10:05and she'll have them in bed by 10.30. She doesn't do backchat.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07I could do with her at our place.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10I'm sure you'll cope fine. Have you got much longer?

0:10:10 > 0:10:11Er, three hours yet.

0:10:11 > 0:10:13Well, at least it's cool in here.

0:10:13 > 0:10:14Yeah.

0:10:14 > 0:10:16Hang in there.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19See ya.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Oh, I told Rochelle to...

0:10:40 > 0:10:43- It's £1.25. - I know. I just need the code.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47SHE SIGHS LOUDLY

0:10:47 > 0:10:52- Sorry, is there a problem? - I just want to pay for my stuff and get out, all right?

0:10:52 > 0:10:57We need the barcode to track stock levels. You'll be the first to complain if I don't have it.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59(Bitch.)

0:11:01 > 0:11:03What did you say?

0:11:03 > 0:11:04What did you say?

0:11:05 > 0:11:06Nothing.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08What did you say?

0:11:09 > 0:11:11What did you say?

0:11:11 > 0:11:14Look, why don't you have the barcode?

0:11:14 > 0:11:21Er, I think it's 44109978387285, but I just need to check.

0:11:21 > 0:11:25- That meant to be funny? - Do you know what? I think you're probably a nice person,

0:11:25 > 0:11:27but at the moment, it's buried under a lot of crap.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30I've got a phone call. Staff phone.

0:11:30 > 0:11:33Hello? I'm talking to you!

0:11:33 > 0:11:34- A man. Said it was urgent. - Is it Jake?

0:11:34 > 0:11:38- Don't know, Trudi took it. Don't be long, it's mental today.- Hello!

0:11:38 > 0:11:41I think that crap is, you have trouble filling your days, you can't get rid of the jowls

0:11:41 > 0:11:45and if you had your life again, you'd never have had kids.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49What, and you're just going to stand there?

0:11:49 > 0:11:50I'm really sorry...

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Did you hear what she said? This is the last time I shop here.

0:11:53 > 0:11:55Can you send Derek down, please? Yes, now.

0:11:55 > 0:11:58You stand here, you get a load of abuse...

0:12:05 > 0:12:06Excuse me?

0:12:06 > 0:12:10- Sorry, can you ask... - Are you out of charcoal?- Look...

0:12:10 > 0:12:13You work here? You know, the um, the briquettes.

0:12:13 > 0:12:14We've got disposables.

0:12:14 > 0:12:19- They're useless. I've tried them. So you've got no charcoal? - The weather's been hot.

0:12:19 > 0:12:22- So, why didn't you get more in? - Top-down bureaucracy?

0:12:22 > 0:12:24Sorry, I've got to take a call.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26Can you check while you're about it?

0:12:31 > 0:12:33Hello?

0:12:46 > 0:12:49Oh, hello. When are you having your barbecue?

0:12:49 > 0:12:52- Tonight.- Oh, they're not coming in till tomorrow. Shame.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55Anything else I can help you with? No?

0:12:55 > 0:12:57MOBILE RINGS

0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Hello?- 'Mrs Gooding? It's Mr Patel here at the school.

0:13:00 > 0:13:04'I just tried you on your work number. I'm sorry to trouble you,

0:13:04 > 0:13:06'but Rochelle's been involved in an incident.'

0:13:06 > 0:13:10- Rochelle?- 'We had a serious complaint from a local resident.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12'She got caught up with a group of other girls...'

0:13:12 > 0:13:14- Got any garden sacks?- Sorry?

0:13:14 > 0:13:18'..an argument about littering. He said they were abusive.'

0:13:18 > 0:13:19Rochelle?

0:13:21 > 0:13:23I see.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25All right - aisle number 9.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29I can't talk now. Yeah.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42He just phoned me.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44He says I can't go on the trip.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46I don't need this, not today. Have you got a Plus Card?

0:13:46 > 0:13:50- All I said was...- Why get involved? Why get sucked in? Cashback?

0:13:50 > 0:13:51No, thanks.

0:13:51 > 0:13:56- Look, can you just talk to Mrs Preston about the trip? - Is that all you're worried about?

0:13:56 > 0:13:59Could you do this somewhere else, please?

0:13:59 > 0:14:03- We're going to blow this. - I'm not going to blow it. - Well, how did it go today?

0:14:03 > 0:14:04Oh!

0:14:04 > 0:14:05I think it was all right.

0:14:05 > 0:14:09- Well, what does that mean? - It's me that's trying to get into Oxford!

0:14:09 > 0:14:12I'm going to see Mum tonight. I won't be back until late.

0:14:12 > 0:14:16- Could you have this conversation another time...?- Rochelle?

0:14:16 > 0:14:17- Rochelle!- Carol...

0:14:17 > 0:14:21OK, Rochelle, I want you to go home, I want you to get your head down,

0:14:21 > 0:14:24OK? Promise me? There's no time for dog-walking tonight,

0:14:24 > 0:14:25so cancel the Lerners.

0:14:25 > 0:14:27- Carol! You've got customers. - Yeah, OK.

0:14:37 > 0:14:39Hi. You OK?

0:14:42 > 0:14:43Are you OK?

0:14:43 > 0:14:46TILL SCANNER BEEPS ECHO

0:14:46 > 0:14:48Hello?

0:14:48 > 0:14:50Hi. Are you OK?

0:14:54 > 0:14:57I see you haven't taken annual leave in a while.

0:14:58 > 0:14:59I'm OK.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03I think you need a break.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06Oh. Is that what you think, is it?

0:15:11 > 0:15:14Nira says you're obviously upset about something today.

0:15:14 > 0:15:18HE CLICKS AND UNCLICKS PEN NIB

0:15:18 > 0:15:23- I'm aware that you've had issues at home recently, and... - Can you stop doing that?

0:15:29 > 0:15:34Carol. Where do you see yourself in five years' time?

0:15:52 > 0:15:55'What's the best thing about your job? Easy.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57'The leaving do.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00'You know, whip round. The big card.

0:16:00 > 0:16:04'"Keep in touch! Bev, (Accounts)."

0:16:04 > 0:16:08'Going to All Bar One and getting felt up by someone from HR.

0:16:10 > 0:16:14'Why is it people only start to appreciate you once you're gone?'

0:16:49 > 0:16:50Ready?

0:16:50 > 0:16:51Let's go for it.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56One, two, three, two, two, three.

0:16:56 > 0:17:00# We three kings of Orient are

0:17:00 > 0:17:05# One in a taxi, one in a car... #

0:17:05 > 0:17:07Danny, it's your time you're wasting.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10Excuse me, could you wait outside?

0:17:10 > 0:17:13I think there's been a misunderstanding.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16Jake was rude to one of the youngest girls.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18The word he used was unacceptable.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20He says he didn't.

0:17:20 > 0:17:21He's lying.

0:17:21 > 0:17:25Look, Katy Manning has Down's syndrome,

0:17:25 > 0:17:30- and, look, it's not the first time another child has... - It's her word against his.

0:17:30 > 0:17:32Danny, I said wait!

0:17:32 > 0:17:35So I would respectfully ask you to give him the benefit of the doubt.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37And put him back in the play.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40OK, look.

0:17:40 > 0:17:45Um, well, I've recast now. He'll have to be a blade of grass.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50Blade of grass? Jake rehearsed King Herod.

0:17:50 > 0:17:56- I made a costume for King Herod. - I'm sorry, I've promised Rohan now. He's learnt the part.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59So has Jake.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01Jake, do your line.

0:18:02 > 0:18:03Give me your taxes!

0:18:07 > 0:18:10Why can't you have two King Herods?

0:18:10 > 0:18:12Two King Herods?

0:18:12 > 0:18:15Mary's wearing trainers, you've got seven wise men,

0:18:15 > 0:18:18carrying bath salts and Ferrero Rochers. Stable's a tent from Argos.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21You needn't get too hung up about historical accuracy.

0:18:24 > 0:18:27And never call our son a liar again.

0:18:29 > 0:18:31THEY BOTH LAUGH

0:19:10 > 0:19:14Pasta. Did it with tomato, you know that one on the telly?

0:19:25 > 0:19:27I'll clear it up.

0:19:27 > 0:19:28Where's Rochelle going?

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Ain't gone far, has she? Left her phone.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32- What happened to your face?- Nothing.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50- Mum?- Not now, Kyle.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24Mum, we're going.

0:20:24 > 0:20:25Wait!

0:20:27 > 0:20:30I'm going to Granny's, so I won't be back till late.

0:20:30 > 0:20:31I'm sleeping over.

0:20:31 > 0:20:35- Not on weekdays. How many times have I said?- Gabriel's. - Oh, right. Remember to...

0:20:35 > 0:20:38Please and thank you, yeah. Back in a minute, Alf.

0:20:43 > 0:20:44How's your mum, Alfie?

0:20:44 > 0:20:48Oh, she's OK. she's got chemo tomorrow, so...

0:20:48 > 0:20:51Do you want me to take her? I'm free now.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54Um, n-no, no, it's OK. Thanks anyway.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59Come on, Alf, we're late.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01See you later.

0:21:07 > 0:21:09Oh, Ky? I found some money in your drawer.

0:21:11 > 0:21:12Ky!

0:21:24 > 0:21:28'You and your mates. Bet you stick up for each other, don't you?'

0:21:30 > 0:21:34They look out for you, you do the same for them.

0:21:34 > 0:21:37If something goes wrong, you pull together.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39That's what mates are for.

0:21:39 > 0:21:40Right?

0:21:40 > 0:21:46Like lawyers. If Barney cocks up, his mates all close ranks.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51Social workers, the same.

0:21:51 > 0:21:56If Karin drops a clanger, they all cover each other's backsides.

0:21:58 > 0:21:59Like any gang.

0:21:59 > 0:22:03But there are some times you've got to speak up.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05It's not easy, I know.

0:22:05 > 0:22:08They're everywhere, those stickers, aren't they?

0:22:08 > 0:22:11Along the walkways.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13In the stairwells.

0:22:13 > 0:22:15In the lifts.

0:22:16 > 0:22:18"Don't be a snitch."

0:22:20 > 0:22:21Thing is...

0:22:25 > 0:22:28Do you know what "joint enterprise" means?

0:22:30 > 0:22:33It means, even if you didn't pull the trigger,

0:22:33 > 0:22:36even if you were just standing there,

0:22:36 > 0:22:41you weren't even egging 'em on, you weren't even laughing,

0:22:41 > 0:22:42just watching.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46Even if you were at the back,

0:22:46 > 0:22:48doing nothing,

0:22:48 > 0:22:51you're still guilty in the eyes of the law.

0:22:55 > 0:22:56So.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59Tell me about Jake.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03- I told you.- Cos he's already got a conviction, hasn't he?

0:23:03 > 0:23:07Armed robbery, right? Had a knife, didn't he?

0:23:07 > 0:23:09- You're badgering my client. - Got four months, didn't he?

0:23:09 > 0:23:13- I don't know... - He'd get worked up after what they did to his best mate, wouldn't he?

0:23:13 > 0:23:16- I said...- You were there! - I didn't...- Who gave you the gun?

0:23:16 > 0:23:19I told you. I found it.

0:23:24 > 0:23:28- TV:- 'Well, everybody is now safely seated inside this wonderful Grade I listed building...'

0:23:28 > 0:23:31- How's Jake?- Fine.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34Why hasn't he been to see me?

0:23:34 > 0:23:38- I told you, he's been in Thailand. - What?- Thailand.

0:23:38 > 0:23:42- How long was he out there for?- Four months. He's back now, I told you.

0:23:42 > 0:23:46God help us. Oh, all those drugs out there.

0:23:47 > 0:23:53I hope he stays clear of all that. He's very young. He's not streetwise, you know.

0:23:58 > 0:24:03Anyway, he's got a job in a kitchen, training, so he's going to come and see you soon.

0:24:03 > 0:24:07Am I going to see his photos? He's bound to have taken lots of photos.

0:24:07 > 0:24:11- He lost them.- Eh? - He deleted them by accident.

0:24:11 > 0:24:15- Eh?- His hard drive crashed.

0:24:15 > 0:24:18They don't keep them in albums now. They put them on their computers.

0:24:18 > 0:24:20I know that.

0:24:20 > 0:24:25Why didn't he put them on Facebook? Like Rochelle does.

0:24:25 > 0:24:30She was showing me photos of that concert she was in. Carmen.

0:24:30 > 0:24:32- Carmina Burana.- Eh?

0:24:38 > 0:24:43- Anyway, I'd better be... - Lovely kids, though, aren't they?

0:24:43 > 0:24:46Never a hint of any trouble.

0:24:46 > 0:24:49You don't know how lucky you are.

0:24:49 > 0:24:52- I know.- Mm?- I said I know.

0:24:56 > 0:24:59- VOICEMAIL:- 'It's Jake, leave a message.'

0:24:59 > 0:25:02Hi, Jake, it's Mum, eh, trying again.

0:25:02 > 0:25:06Eh, did that really happen this morning? Um, call us, will you?

0:25:06 > 0:25:09I just want to know you're OK. OK, bye, love.

0:25:44 > 0:25:49Oh, oh! I got it - trainers.

0:25:49 > 0:25:51- No.- I give up.

0:25:51 > 0:25:58- T..T..T..tickle!- I can't see a tickle.- I can. There's one.

0:25:58 > 0:26:01- There's another.- Stop it!

0:26:47 > 0:26:49- No, there's four other people. - Oh, she's here, look.

0:26:49 > 0:26:54- Hiya!- Managed to get a table? - We got here half seven. - Just as well.- Scrum, wannit?

0:26:54 > 0:26:56- Have a drink?- So, what happened?

0:26:56 > 0:26:59Nira said you nearly passed out at work or something.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01- What did he say?- Here we go.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04LAUGHTER

0:27:04 > 0:27:07"Carol, where do you think you'll be in five years' time?"

0:27:07 > 0:27:10On a beach in bloody Phuket, thank you!

0:27:10 > 0:27:12- Click, click, click, click. - He does that with his pen!

0:27:12 > 0:27:14I just took my badge off and walked.

0:27:14 > 0:27:17- You walked out?- You never!- You quit?

0:27:17 > 0:27:20- Yeah, I tried to find you. - No wonder he got a nose-bleed.

0:27:20 > 0:27:22- Blimey, you need a drink. - No, later, later, yeah.

0:27:22 > 0:27:25- What, you really quit? - Are we out already?- Oh, I'll get it.

0:27:25 > 0:27:29- Go on, Carol, have one. - She said she don't want one.- OK!

0:27:29 > 0:27:32- Here, get some crisps as well. - What ones?- It don't matter.

0:27:32 > 0:27:36- Don't be daft, come in tomorrow, we'll sort it out. - No, I can't go back now.

0:27:36 > 0:27:40- What are you going to do? I'll put in a word for you.- No, they won't have me back. I was mental!

0:27:40 > 0:27:42No, I put you on the spot today, and I'm really sorry.

0:27:42 > 0:27:46No. She really stuck it to this woman.

0:27:46 > 0:27:52You know the sort - shades, designer bag, the sort who looks down her nose at everyone.

0:27:52 > 0:27:58Yeah, you know - you know the type. You know, the one who puts mascara on to go to the shops.

0:27:58 > 0:28:01- I wish I'd had the balls to say it. - Say what?

0:28:01 > 0:28:05- Look, I better go - I'll see you later.- Good luck!- See you!

0:28:05 > 0:28:06What did she say?

0:28:09 > 0:28:13- Look what came through the cat-flap. - Hiya!

0:28:13 > 0:28:16How the bloody hell are you? Hey!

0:28:16 > 0:28:19- You had cancer?- Oh, I wish!

0:28:19 > 0:28:21- I see you had me billed.- Yeah?

0:28:21 > 0:28:23I thought I was just doing the open mic.

0:28:23 > 0:28:26- You don't have to bloody audition. - I haven't done it for a year.

0:28:26 > 0:28:28Oh, crap, you're not going to tank on me, are you?

0:28:28 > 0:28:32- No, it's all new material. - What, no Plus Card?- All new stuff.

0:28:32 > 0:28:35Ah! You look awful, by the way.

0:28:35 > 0:28:38You've aged and you've put on weight.

0:28:38 > 0:28:43Actually no, no, you're losing it. Skinny. It doesn't suit you.

0:28:43 > 0:28:49- Oh, sounding lively. Couple of birthdays, group down from Hitchin. - Hitchin, Hitchin...

0:28:49 > 0:28:51Hen night, I think.

0:28:51 > 0:28:52You're on third. After Shadi.

0:28:52 > 0:28:53Shadi?

0:28:53 > 0:28:55- Shadi Solemi.- Hm?

0:28:55 > 0:28:58- Iranian-American, been on Comedy Central?- No.

0:28:58 > 0:28:59Do you keep up with anything?

0:28:59 > 0:29:02- Why's he here? - It's a warm-up for Edinburgh.

0:29:02 > 0:29:04What? And you put me on after?

0:29:04 > 0:29:06He's got a gig later on at the Pleasance.

0:29:06 > 0:29:08- Can't I go on first?- No!

0:29:11 > 0:29:16SHE BREATHES DEEPLY

0:29:22 > 0:29:24Shadi Solemi-i-i-i!

0:29:24 > 0:29:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:29:25 > 0:29:29Now, then, I'd like you to give it up for our next act.

0:29:29 > 0:29:32She's been off the radar for a while, dodging the DSS.

0:29:32 > 0:29:34LAUGHTER

0:29:34 > 0:29:36But the bitch is back. Give it up for Carol Gooding!

0:29:36 > 0:29:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:29:42 > 0:29:46Oh, I hate that part of myself that hopes the other acts are shit.

0:29:46 > 0:29:49He was great, he was great.

0:29:49 > 0:29:52He's got to go back to Tehran next week for jury service.

0:29:52 > 0:29:54Shouldn't take long, though,

0:29:54 > 0:29:56he's just got to pick out his stone...

0:29:56 > 0:29:58LAUGHTER

0:29:58 > 0:30:00Yeah, got to be medium-sized.

0:30:00 > 0:30:02Apparently, small ones just bounce off,

0:30:02 > 0:30:05and the big ones just knock 'em out and that's no fun for anyone, is it?

0:30:05 > 0:30:08Yeah, it's got to be medium-sized.

0:30:08 > 0:30:09LAUGHTER

0:30:09 > 0:30:12Don't get me wrong, through. I think they should have it over here.

0:30:12 > 0:30:14Except not for loose women, obviously.

0:30:14 > 0:30:18That'd be the female population of Hitchin wiped out.

0:30:18 > 0:30:21No, for the person who threw themselves under my train

0:30:21 > 0:30:23last Tuesday at Mile End,

0:30:23 > 0:30:25holding us up for two and a half hours.

0:30:25 > 0:30:29Yeah, apparently he survived, but if he's still up for it,

0:30:29 > 0:30:30I'd happily finish him off.

0:30:30 > 0:30:32LAUGHTER

0:30:32 > 0:30:36The person in front of me at the NatWest cash till this morning...

0:30:36 > 0:30:39Yeah, he got his cash out, checked his balances,

0:30:39 > 0:30:40ordered three paying-in books,

0:30:40 > 0:30:42bailed out Portugal...

0:30:42 > 0:30:43LAUGHTER

0:30:43 > 0:30:45If I'd had a rock...

0:30:47 > 0:30:50Who else? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

0:30:50 > 0:30:51Archaeologists.

0:30:53 > 0:30:55We've been waiting for five years

0:30:55 > 0:30:57for the shopping centre across the road to open,

0:30:57 > 0:31:02all because some idiot found a little bit of Roman crockery.

0:31:03 > 0:31:05OK, so what?

0:31:05 > 0:31:072,000 years ago, someone had a cup of tea.

0:31:07 > 0:31:08LAUGHTER

0:31:08 > 0:31:10Get over it!

0:31:10 > 0:31:12Who else? Oh, yeah.

0:31:12 > 0:31:15Oh, yeah, people with normal kids.

0:31:15 > 0:31:17I hate them.

0:31:17 > 0:31:18They're out there right now,

0:31:18 > 0:31:21doing what any normal kid should be doing, you know,

0:31:21 > 0:31:23listening to loud music, getting drunk,

0:31:23 > 0:31:25falling into skips.

0:31:25 > 0:31:28LAUGHTER

0:31:28 > 0:31:31MY 17-year-old daughter

0:31:31 > 0:31:34is at home, revising.

0:31:34 > 0:31:36She watches Question Time.

0:31:39 > 0:31:41I said to her the other day, I said...

0:31:41 > 0:31:43SHE PUFFS AND EXHALES

0:31:43 > 0:31:44"Are you happy?"

0:31:44 > 0:31:47and do you know what she said to me, do you know what she said?

0:31:47 > 0:31:49"Relatively."

0:31:49 > 0:31:50LAUGHTER

0:31:51 > 0:31:54"Relatively?"

0:31:54 > 0:31:55Where did I go wrong?

0:31:55 > 0:31:58I did my best, you know, I chain-smoked in the house,

0:31:58 > 0:32:01I sat her in front of the telly all day,

0:32:01 > 0:32:04she had all the Turkey Twizzlers she ever wanted,

0:32:04 > 0:32:07and this is how she repays me.

0:32:07 > 0:32:09She didn't know what an orange was

0:32:09 > 0:32:11till she went on that school trip to Barcelona!

0:32:11 > 0:32:12RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

0:32:12 > 0:32:15I knew I should never have let her go.

0:32:15 > 0:32:17Are you all right there, Hitchin?

0:32:17 > 0:32:19- HEN PARTY:- Yeah! Woo!

0:32:19 > 0:32:23Oh, bless them, you still don't know what an orange is, do you? Ahh.

0:32:23 > 0:32:27Ahh, it's OK, I like to try and reach out to all types -

0:32:27 > 0:32:28Muslims, gays...

0:32:28 > 0:32:30single-cell organisms.

0:32:30 > 0:32:31LAUGHTER AND GROANS

0:32:31 > 0:32:33Ahh, look at them, look at them.

0:32:34 > 0:32:37You thought this was a Harvester, didn't you?

0:32:37 > 0:32:38LAUGHTER

0:32:38 > 0:32:42No don't laugh, don't laugh - it's not right, it's not right.

0:32:42 > 0:32:45So there she is, she doesn't drink, she doesn't smoke,

0:32:45 > 0:32:47she's still a VIRGIN.

0:32:47 > 0:32:50My husband would say, "Hang on, be patient, give her time,"

0:32:50 > 0:32:52but I know she's just doing it to spite me, little bitch.

0:32:52 > 0:32:55LAUGHTER

0:32:55 > 0:32:56He's not with us any more.

0:32:56 > 0:32:59Lost him a few years back, Christmas Eve,

0:32:59 > 0:33:02on the Lakemead High Road...

0:33:02 > 0:33:04brain haemorrhage, 36,

0:33:04 > 0:33:07He was coming out of Carphone Warehouse.

0:33:07 > 0:33:10And there he was, all cold and stiff...

0:33:11 > 0:33:14..clutching his top-up card.

0:33:14 > 0:33:15LAUGHTER

0:33:15 > 0:33:19I had to go and visit him one last time in the morgue.

0:33:19 > 0:33:23Snapped two fingers off trying to get the top-up card out of his hand.

0:33:23 > 0:33:26It had 30 quid on it, come on!

0:33:26 > 0:33:32My eldest son, thank God, he's normal. He...

0:33:32 > 0:33:33got into Feltham.

0:33:35 > 0:33:36The night before his GCSEs,

0:33:36 > 0:33:40him and a mate ran up a tab with a dealer,

0:33:40 > 0:33:44so they held up a Texaco station with a kitchen knife.

0:33:44 > 0:33:46His mate nicked 200 quid from the till,

0:33:46 > 0:33:49he took a welly mat and two bottles of brake fluid,

0:33:49 > 0:33:52but he still got four months, though.

0:33:52 > 0:33:53Four months, yeah.

0:33:55 > 0:33:56Then it dawned on me.

0:33:58 > 0:33:59Feltham.

0:33:59 > 0:34:01Sundays.

0:34:01 > 0:34:04Three words that crush the soul -

0:34:04 > 0:34:06Rail replacement bus service.

0:34:08 > 0:34:11See, you can laugh there, you can laugh there. Or not.

0:34:11 > 0:34:13Or not, suit yourself. Um...

0:34:13 > 0:34:14That's four words.

0:34:14 > 0:34:17- Sorry? - "Rail replacement bus service."

0:34:20 > 0:34:22Um...

0:34:22 > 0:34:23Good, someone's awake.

0:34:23 > 0:34:26All right, anyway...

0:34:26 > 0:34:27So...the first time..

0:34:27 > 0:34:30- DEE WHISPERS:- What's this guy doing?

0:34:30 > 0:34:31- HECKLER:- Not funny!

0:34:31 > 0:34:33The other bloke was funny.

0:34:33 > 0:34:34Oh.

0:34:36 > 0:34:37SHE SIGHS

0:34:37 > 0:34:40Hasn't smiled all night, just been sitting there.

0:34:40 > 0:34:42Oh, he's checking his messages now.

0:34:42 > 0:34:44What's your name?

0:34:44 > 0:34:47Oh, he's gone all shy now. Where you from?

0:34:48 > 0:34:49Rayleigh.

0:34:49 > 0:34:52Rayleigh. Essex. City boy, right?

0:34:52 > 0:34:53What's the message say?

0:34:53 > 0:34:56Spearmint Rhino find your Game Boy? Hmm.

0:34:56 > 0:34:58LAUGHTER

0:34:58 > 0:34:59Who wants to see his bonus?

0:34:59 > 0:35:01Work for a bank, do you, big boy?

0:35:01 > 0:35:05Cos we'd all like to know when we're getting our money back.

0:35:05 > 0:35:06- ALL:- Yeah!

0:35:06 > 0:35:09- We're at Barts.- Barts? Barts?

0:35:09 > 0:35:13- We're doctors.- Doctors? Doctors.

0:35:13 > 0:35:16Doctors. Oh, yeah. Walked straight into that one, didn't she?

0:35:16 > 0:35:17Doctors, yeah, doctors...

0:35:17 > 0:35:19Hands off our lovely doctors.

0:35:19 > 0:35:21Um...

0:35:21 > 0:35:22Oh, yeah.

0:35:22 > 0:35:24Oh, yeah, I know a doctor joke -

0:35:24 > 0:35:28the one who saw my husband when he was having dizzy spells,

0:35:28 > 0:35:32just looked at the CAT scan and thought

0:35:32 > 0:35:35"Oh, heads it's an aneurysm, tails it's a coffee stain."

0:35:36 > 0:35:42Um, anyway, that's if you finally get to see them.

0:35:42 > 0:35:44I went to A&E the other day

0:35:44 > 0:35:47and the nurse told me the waiting time was eight hours.

0:35:47 > 0:35:48Eight hours.

0:35:48 > 0:35:50She said, "There's other people ahead of you."

0:35:50 > 0:35:53So, last Tuesday, I go down to A&E,

0:35:53 > 0:35:55go up to the nurse, "What's wrong?" she says.

0:35:55 > 0:35:57"I don't know, just put my name down.

0:35:57 > 0:35:59"By the time it's my turn, I'll have SOMETHING, won't I?"

0:35:59 > 0:36:01"You're going home in the meantime?

0:36:01 > 0:36:03"I'm going on holiday in the meantime."

0:36:03 > 0:36:07Other people, they're bloody everywhere.

0:36:07 > 0:36:09They're even down the supermarket, aren't they?

0:36:09 > 0:36:10You've got to plan ahead,

0:36:10 > 0:36:12you don't do your shopping then queue up -

0:36:12 > 0:36:16you nab your place at the checkout and then do your shopping, right?

0:36:16 > 0:36:19Yeah, you slap that little plastic thingy down on the belt,

0:36:19 > 0:36:20and off you go.

0:36:20 > 0:36:24"Sorry, sorry, I've forgotten the cat litter."

0:36:24 > 0:36:28"Sorry, sorry, just forgot the 20-kilogram bag of charcoal."

0:36:29 > 0:36:34"Sorry, sorry, I forgot my entire week's shop. What am I like?"

0:36:34 > 0:36:37LAUGHTER

0:36:37 > 0:36:39Oh, and then over there,

0:36:39 > 0:36:41over there is a line of self-service tills - empty.

0:36:41 > 0:36:43Why? Why won't we go there?

0:36:43 > 0:36:45Because of the voice.

0:36:45 > 0:36:48The voice you know you cannot fight.

0:36:48 > 0:36:51"Unexpected item in the bagging area."

0:36:51 > 0:36:53So you take the vodka out.

0:36:53 > 0:36:56"Unexpected item in the bagging area."

0:36:56 > 0:36:57So you take out the fruit.

0:36:57 > 0:37:01"I knew I should have weighed the fruit." You need your five a day.

0:37:01 > 0:37:02So you take out the lemon.

0:37:02 > 0:37:03LAUGHTER

0:37:03 > 0:37:06"Unexpected item in the bagging area."

0:37:06 > 0:37:09"Oh, it's the Valium - I should have paid for it at the pharmacy."

0:37:09 > 0:37:12"Unexpected item in the bagging area."

0:37:12 > 0:37:13Press the call for help -

0:37:13 > 0:37:16"Unexpected item in the bagging area."

0:37:16 > 0:37:18So you get your stone out...

0:37:18 > 0:37:19BOSH! FWOOSH!

0:37:19 > 0:37:22"Unexpected I-Tem in the bagging areeeeaaaa..."

0:37:22 > 0:37:24LAUGHTER

0:37:31 > 0:37:33- Oh, I got a bloody stitch! - All right.

0:37:33 > 0:37:36- No, look, there's our bus. - Oh, yeah.

0:37:36 > 0:37:40Quick, quick, don't miss it, there won't be one for ages!

0:37:42 > 0:37:45I take it back. Who needs the day job?

0:37:45 > 0:37:47Did you hear that couple behind us?

0:37:47 > 0:37:49When's he said he'll book you again?

0:37:49 > 0:37:52Just think, I forked out 50 quid for Michael McIntyre.

0:37:52 > 0:37:55- You never!- O2 - flipping miles away!

0:37:55 > 0:37:58- It was good, but.. - Where are we going to go, anyway?

0:37:58 > 0:38:01- Istanbul, wasn't it? - Carol, choose.- Yeah, you choose.

0:38:01 > 0:38:03- I don't mind.- I'm easy.

0:38:03 > 0:38:05You were bloody great with that moron.

0:38:05 > 0:38:07- You turned the whole thing around. - How do you mean?

0:38:07 > 0:38:10Well, there was that bit in the middle with Jake.

0:38:10 > 0:38:11What about it?

0:38:11 > 0:38:14I dunno. I don't think people were sure.

0:38:14 > 0:38:17- I mean, I wasn't.- Sure about what?

0:38:17 > 0:38:19It was a bit near the bone. For me.

0:38:19 > 0:38:21It's comedy. It's meant to be near the bone.

0:38:21 > 0:38:23Yeah, but it's got to be funny.

0:38:23 > 0:38:25Oh, so you're saying it wasn't funny?

0:38:25 > 0:38:28I preferred the hospital and supermarket stuff.

0:38:28 > 0:38:29Yeah, that was great.

0:38:29 > 0:38:31So you're saying I can't say anything about Jake?

0:38:31 > 0:38:34- That's out of bounds, is it?- No.

0:38:34 > 0:38:37Comedy's about dealing with the truth. Not avoiding it.

0:38:37 > 0:38:39- Yeah, but did he know?- What?

0:38:39 > 0:38:42About tonight. Did you tell him were doing stuff about him?

0:38:42 > 0:38:44Well, I tried to tell him this morning, but I...

0:38:44 > 0:38:46- How'd you think he'd take it? - It happened a while ago.

0:38:46 > 0:38:49Yeah, but Jake can't answer back, can he?

0:38:49 > 0:38:52- He has his side of the story. - Where are you going?

0:38:52 > 0:38:53I'm going home.

0:38:53 > 0:38:55- Aren't you eating?- I'm not hungry.

0:38:55 > 0:38:56Come for a drink.

0:38:56 > 0:38:58No, I'm tired.

0:38:58 > 0:39:00- Just the one.- No, I said I'm tired!

0:39:01 > 0:39:03- Take care, yeah?- Yeah, yeah.

0:39:03 > 0:39:05Phone us tomorrow, yeah?

0:39:05 > 0:39:06You were tops!

0:39:06 > 0:39:07Oh, yeah. Cheers.

0:39:37 > 0:39:40SHOPKEEPER SHOUTS

0:39:42 > 0:39:45THE MEN ARGUE

0:39:48 > 0:39:49- Hey, let him go! Oi!- Police.

0:39:49 > 0:39:52Let him go, let him go, let him go!

0:39:52 > 0:39:54- He was stealing, OK?- He's only 12. - Police here.

0:39:54 > 0:39:57Let him go, I'll pay for it. I'll pay for it.

0:39:57 > 0:40:00This has nothing to do with you, OK?

0:40:00 > 0:40:02All right, I'll pay for it. Let him go.

0:40:02 > 0:40:04I'll pay for it. 10, 20 quid? It's only a bottle of Calpol.

0:40:04 > 0:40:07His mum's sick, he's looking after his sister.

0:40:07 > 0:40:08That's it, sorted.

0:40:08 > 0:40:12You take him home and you give him a good bloody hiding, OK?

0:40:12 > 0:40:14All right! Jesus Christ. He's not mine.

0:40:14 > 0:40:15SHE SIGHS

0:40:15 > 0:40:17Are you all right, Alfie?

0:40:17 > 0:40:19Yeah? Is this for Paige?

0:40:19 > 0:40:21Yeah.

0:40:21 > 0:40:23What...? Hey, hey. Alfie, wait. What's going on?

0:40:23 > 0:40:27Paige, she's got a fever. I've got to go back.

0:40:27 > 0:40:30- Haven't you got any money? - Well, Ky was keeping it.

0:40:30 > 0:40:32What?

0:40:32 > 0:40:33He was looking after it.

0:40:33 > 0:40:35We found it in this cash machine.

0:40:35 > 0:40:38We were going to hand it in, see, but I had no money...

0:40:38 > 0:40:40How much?

0:40:40 > 0:40:41300 quid.

0:40:42 > 0:40:44SHE SIGHS

0:40:49 > 0:40:51Oi! Taxi!

0:40:51 > 0:40:53- Where to, love?- Hoxton, please.

0:40:53 > 0:40:54Jump in.

0:40:55 > 0:40:58SIREN BLARES

0:41:04 > 0:41:06Excuse me. Do you have a reservation?

0:41:06 > 0:41:08Um...I need to see Jake.

0:41:09 > 0:41:10He works here.

0:41:10 > 0:41:13Oh, Jake. Who are you?

0:41:13 > 0:41:14His mother.

0:41:14 > 0:41:17I'll go and see if he's free. Would you like to wait here?

0:41:17 > 0:41:18No, I wouldn't.

0:41:26 > 0:41:27Mrs Gooding?

0:41:27 > 0:41:31I'm Ross. Ross Walker. I'm Rochelle's Head of Year.

0:41:31 > 0:41:32Oh. Hello.

0:41:32 > 0:41:35I heard about what happened today. I think it's outrageous.

0:41:35 > 0:41:36Well, there's not much...

0:41:36 > 0:41:39- Brightest girl I've taught gets suspended...- Excuse me a moment.

0:41:39 > 0:41:41- He's not in.- Sorry?

0:41:41 > 0:41:43Didn't show up. Do you want me to...?

0:41:43 > 0:41:47Deputy Head. PR stunt to show he's being tough. It's pathetic.

0:41:47 > 0:41:48- Are you Tom?- Yep.

0:41:48 > 0:41:51- Sorry, I'm Jake's mother. - I don't know where he is.

0:41:51 > 0:41:52- So he just didn't turn up?- No.

0:41:52 > 0:41:54- Is that usual?- It's the first time.

0:41:54 > 0:41:57- What?- OK, That onglet's medium.

0:41:57 > 0:41:59He's never missed a shift.

0:41:59 > 0:42:01Except for last Thursday, he called in sick.

0:42:01 > 0:42:03So he's been OK?

0:42:03 > 0:42:05- How do you mean? - Here. Working here.

0:42:05 > 0:42:08Yeah, yeah, yeah, turns up on time, does the cleaning, washing,

0:42:08 > 0:42:11prepping, saucing, stocks, grill station, rotisserie,

0:42:11 > 0:42:13everything we throw at him.

0:42:13 > 0:42:16So if you see him, can we have him back, please?

0:42:16 > 0:42:19- OK, osso bucco...- Yes, Chef.

0:42:21 > 0:42:23Hi, Ky. Yeah, it's me.

0:42:23 > 0:42:27If you hear from Jake, can you tell him to give me a call, please?

0:42:27 > 0:42:29I wish you'd told me about that money.

0:42:31 > 0:42:34Anyway, bye, love. See you later. Bye. Love you.

0:42:34 > 0:42:37Mrs Gooding, you know, this isn't going to affect her chances.

0:42:37 > 0:42:40I know the admissions tutor at Merton. They'll bite her hand off.

0:42:42 > 0:42:45- Are you all right? - Yes, I'm fine, thank you.

0:43:20 > 0:43:21DOOR BUZZES

0:43:30 > 0:43:32SHE SIGHS

0:44:32 > 0:44:34SHE KNOCKS GENTLY

0:45:18 > 0:45:22SHE HUMS AND SOBS

0:45:30 > 0:45:32SHE SNIFFS

0:45:37 > 0:45:39'He did, you know.

0:45:39 > 0:45:41'What?

0:45:41 > 0:45:43'Call her you-know-what.'

0:45:43 > 0:45:46Danny Johnson told me in the corridor.

0:45:47 > 0:45:48HE SIGHS

0:45:48 > 0:45:49I'll kill him.

0:45:51 > 0:45:53- Still doesn't matter though.- What?

0:45:53 > 0:45:56Kids do that stuff all the time. It's so trivial.

0:45:56 > 0:46:00Sending him home was completely over the top.

0:46:00 > 0:46:02She probably started it, anyway.

0:46:04 > 0:46:06She called him "shit-for-brains."

0:46:06 > 0:46:09THEY BOTH LAUGH

0:46:13 > 0:46:14SHE SIGHS

0:46:59 > 0:47:03Excuse me. Um, I'm looking for a girl called Rochelle.

0:47:03 > 0:47:04Rochelle Gooding?

0:47:04 > 0:47:10I've got her brother's Oyster card and mobile.

0:47:10 > 0:47:11He dropped them.

0:47:11 > 0:47:15Um, Faraday. 106. It's that one over there.

0:47:15 > 0:47:16Oh, thank you.

0:47:18 > 0:47:19- BOY'S VOICE:- Rochelle!

0:47:29 > 0:47:31Help!

0:47:43 > 0:47:44BUTTONS BEEP

0:47:44 > 0:47:47Help! Help!

0:47:47 > 0:47:49FOOTSTEPS AND ANGRY SHOUTING

0:47:53 > 0:47:56THUMPS AND SHOUTS OF PAIN

0:47:59 > 0:48:02What's going on?

0:48:02 > 0:48:03- That's enough, man.- Hey!

0:48:03 > 0:48:04Hey, Hey. Hey!

0:48:09 > 0:48:12SHOUTING

0:48:19 > 0:48:21GUNSHOT

0:48:27 > 0:48:32SHE PANTS

0:48:33 > 0:48:38SIREN BLARES

0:48:41 > 0:48:44HEART MONITOR BEEPS

0:48:46 > 0:48:48Mum, please, please, pick up.

0:48:48 > 0:48:51THE PHONE IS SILENT

0:49:02 > 0:49:03KNOCK ON DOOR

0:49:07 > 0:49:10PERSISTENT KNOCKING

0:49:13 > 0:49:16KNOCKING CONTINUES

0:49:25 > 0:49:27- Where's your key? - I was with you.- What?

0:49:27 > 0:49:29- Tell them I was with you, please. - Who?

0:49:29 > 0:49:31- Tonight, tell them I was with you! - What happened?

0:49:31 > 0:49:33Couple of guys got hurt.

0:49:33 > 0:49:34Oh, try and keep it down.

0:49:36 > 0:49:37Who got hurt?

0:49:37 > 0:49:39Somali kid. And some other guy.

0:49:42 > 0:49:44- Look, I tried to stop them.- Who?

0:49:44 > 0:49:47The LMT. He was shot, Mum.

0:49:47 > 0:49:50I don't know what to do.

0:49:50 > 0:49:52They'll come for me, I know they will...

0:49:52 > 0:49:54- and they won't believe me! - OK, calm down.

0:49:54 > 0:49:56- They were all down at Firefly... - I know.

0:49:56 > 0:49:58- I tried to stop it, I swear. - I believe you.

0:49:58 > 0:50:01- They wanted to get them back for Danny.- I was with the girls.

0:50:01 > 0:50:04Kathy and that lot, you know? We went to a pub.

0:50:04 > 0:50:07- What time d'you get back? - Just after eleven.

0:50:08 > 0:50:10That's OK.

0:50:10 > 0:50:11KNOCK ON DOOR

0:50:11 > 0:50:14Just tell them that when you got back, I was here, OK?

0:50:14 > 0:50:16- Where you going?- My room.

0:50:16 > 0:50:18No, no, stay here. LOUD KNOCKING

0:50:18 > 0:50:19Jake.

0:50:21 > 0:50:23Sorry to trouble you. Are you a tenant?

0:50:23 > 0:50:24- Yeah.- We're carrying out enquiries

0:50:24 > 0:50:27in connection with a shooting here tonight.

0:50:27 > 0:50:28Here?

0:50:28 > 0:50:31- Yeah, between 23:30 and midnight. - Did you hear anything?

0:50:31 > 0:50:36No, um, I was out the back and the doors were closed and you don't...

0:50:36 > 0:50:37Or see anything?

0:50:37 > 0:50:38No.

0:50:38 > 0:50:40Is there anyone else here?

0:50:40 > 0:50:42Er...

0:50:42 > 0:50:45just my daughter, she's asleep, she has an exam tomorrow, my son...

0:50:45 > 0:50:47They say there's been a shooting...

0:50:47 > 0:50:49- Where?- Here.

0:50:49 > 0:50:52- You didn't hear anything, did you?- No.

0:50:52 > 0:50:55You've both been here all evening and not seen or heard anything?

0:50:55 > 0:51:00No, not all evening. I was at a gig with some friends.

0:51:00 > 0:51:01Gig?

0:51:01 > 0:51:04The Sir Richard Steele, I do stand-up.

0:51:04 > 0:51:06What time did you get back?

0:51:06 > 0:51:08Just after eleven, I got back, Jake was here.

0:51:08 > 0:51:09Jake?

0:51:11 > 0:51:13Jake Gooding?

0:51:13 > 0:51:15Yeah, I'm his mother, Carol. Why?

0:51:16 > 0:51:19We've met before, Jake, haven't we?

0:51:19 > 0:51:22Can you wait here a second?

0:51:22 > 0:51:23Where's she going?

0:51:23 > 0:51:25She's just making a call.

0:51:25 > 0:51:27Who? Who's she calling?

0:51:27 > 0:51:29She won't be long.

0:51:29 > 0:51:32So how did you get into that, then?

0:51:32 > 0:51:34- Sorry?- Stand-up.

0:51:37 > 0:51:41Er, I was working on a checkout and started having ideas.

0:51:41 > 0:51:44And then just did a guest spot somewhere.

0:51:44 > 0:51:46I had a go once - Christmas do.

0:51:46 > 0:51:48I did about ten minutes.

0:51:48 > 0:51:49RADIO CHATTER

0:51:49 > 0:51:51- Who's she talking to? - Probably the CRO.

0:51:51 > 0:51:53The what?

0:51:53 > 0:51:54- Criminal Records Office.- Why?

0:51:54 > 0:51:56On this job, there's so much material...

0:51:56 > 0:51:59Sorry, can you shut up a moment?

0:51:59 > 0:52:01- Yes, 271. Can you call me? - Who were you talking to?

0:52:01 > 0:52:04So both of you are certain you saw or heard absolutely nothing?

0:52:04 > 0:52:06Why do you keep looking at him like that?

0:52:06 > 0:52:08You sure, Jake?

0:52:08 > 0:52:09Jake had nothing to do with this.

0:52:09 > 0:52:13- The attack was by a gang with which Jake has connections. - You've got no evidence.

0:52:13 > 0:52:15You've got NO evidence.

0:52:15 > 0:52:17OK, Carol, just calm down.

0:52:17 > 0:52:19I brought him in. It was me that brought him in.

0:52:19 > 0:52:21After the attack on the garage at Lakemead.

0:52:21 > 0:52:24- I remember.- I- took him to your station, at 5.30 in the morning,

0:52:24 > 0:52:26despite the fact that there was no CCTV,

0:52:26 > 0:52:29the cashier was an Algerian who didn't want to report it,

0:52:29 > 0:52:31we could have walked away, but no.

0:52:31 > 0:52:35I took him in, I got him to make a statement, hand over the knife...

0:52:35 > 0:52:37- OK, Carol...- Don't call me Carol.

0:52:37 > 0:52:40..which his mate took from the drawer, and used, not Jake,

0:52:40 > 0:52:42but the judge didn't bother with details like that

0:52:42 > 0:52:46and gave them four months and he was barely 17.

0:52:46 > 0:52:47Right?

0:52:47 > 0:52:52So if I tell you that he's been with me, here in this flat,

0:52:52 > 0:52:55since 11 o'clock and has not left my sight,

0:52:55 > 0:52:58I swear to Christ you'd better believe me,

0:52:58 > 0:53:01cos if you don't and you think you've got an easy catch here,

0:53:01 > 0:53:04you're going to waste your time, your boss's,

0:53:04 > 0:53:06your entire army of goons down there

0:53:06 > 0:53:08and whoever they drag in from legal aid,

0:53:08 > 0:53:11cos he has not put a foot wrong since he got out

0:53:11 > 0:53:14and you have not got a shred of evidence

0:53:14 > 0:53:16and you fucking well know it!

0:53:18 > 0:53:20- RADIO:- '271.

0:53:20 > 0:53:24'271 from Gulf Alpha, are you in a position to receive message?'

0:53:24 > 0:53:25Yes, go ahead.

0:53:25 > 0:53:27RADIO CHATTER

0:53:31 > 0:53:33No trace.

0:53:33 > 0:53:34What does that mean?

0:53:34 > 0:53:36Currently not wanted.

0:53:36 > 0:53:39- If you come across any information...- Yeah. Sure.

0:53:42 > 0:53:44SHE SIGHS

0:53:49 > 0:53:51OK.

0:53:59 > 0:54:00It was Kyle's.

0:54:01 > 0:54:02What?

0:54:03 > 0:54:05The money.

0:54:05 > 0:54:07It was Alfie Robbins's, actually.

0:54:07 > 0:54:09Gave it to him for safekeeping.

0:54:21 > 0:54:23So where did you go?

0:54:25 > 0:54:27Tom's.

0:54:27 > 0:54:28But I just asked him.

0:54:30 > 0:54:31Look, he was covering.

0:54:32 > 0:54:33Look, I wanted...

0:54:33 > 0:54:35..to make me sweat.

0:54:37 > 0:54:38Yeah.

0:54:42 > 0:54:43You did a gig?

0:54:46 > 0:54:47I thought you'd stopped.

0:54:48 > 0:54:50I wrote some new stuff.

0:54:52 > 0:54:53How did it go?

0:54:55 > 0:54:57I got heckled.

0:54:57 > 0:54:58It needs work.

0:55:00 > 0:55:02Tell us about it next time, will you?

0:55:06 > 0:55:08You can stay if you...

0:55:08 > 0:55:11No, I've got to go. Just check if I've left anything.

0:57:12 > 0:57:16'I just wanted to wake up and find the whole thing had never happened.

0:57:16 > 0:57:19'That it had all been just a really bad dream.

0:57:22 > 0:57:25'I wanted the day to start all over again.

0:57:25 > 0:57:29'The one I was looking forward to, my 13th birthday.'

0:57:29 > 0:57:31HE PANTS

0:57:31 > 0:57:33'I couldn't sleep, I was so excited.

0:57:33 > 0:57:36'We were going to skip school,

0:57:36 > 0:57:37'Ky was going to do kebabs,

0:57:37 > 0:57:39'and we were going to stay up all night...'

0:57:39 > 0:57:41Come on, Alfie. It's your turn.

0:57:41 > 0:57:43'And best of all,

0:57:43 > 0:57:45'I was going to roll with the big boys.

0:57:47 > 0:57:49'My gang at last.

0:57:54 > 0:57:57'This was going to be the best day of my life.'

0:58:25 > 0:58:28Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd