Episode 1

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains some strong language

0:00:06 > 0:00:10and some scenes of a sexual nature

0:00:21 > 0:00:26# And I like you Yeah, I like you

0:00:26 > 0:00:28# I like you, I like you, I like you

0:00:28 > 0:00:32# I like you, I like you, I like you

0:00:32 > 0:00:35# And I feel whoa-ho whoo... #

0:00:35 > 0:00:36Morning.

0:00:37 > 0:00:41# Woohoo hoo

0:00:41 > 0:00:43# Woohoo hoo... #

0:00:43 > 0:00:44Morning.

0:00:44 > 0:00:47# Woohoo hoo

0:00:47 > 0:00:50# Woohoo hoo... #

0:00:50 > 0:00:52Morning.

0:00:57 > 0:01:00So there's this inflatable school.

0:01:00 > 0:01:03It's got inflatable chairs, inflatable tables,

0:01:03 > 0:01:05inflatable pupils, inflatable teachers.

0:01:05 > 0:01:09And one day, somebody brings in a large knitting needle.

0:01:09 > 0:01:11Now, the headmaster discovers the culprit

0:01:11 > 0:01:13and he takes him into his office.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16He says to the kid, "This is totally unacceptable."

0:01:16 > 0:01:18"You've let yourself down,

0:01:18 > 0:01:21"and you've let all your friends down,

0:01:21 > 0:01:24"and you've let the whole school down."

0:01:24 > 0:01:25Brr...tchssssssssh!

0:01:25 > 0:01:27THEY GROAN

0:01:27 > 0:01:31Joe, I'm putting these up. Thursday night - everyone welcome.

0:01:31 > 0:01:33- My divorce is finally through and we're celebrating.- OK.

0:01:33 > 0:01:37Oh, promo costumes are in and head office say everyone - no exceptions.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39So where's yours?

0:01:40 > 0:01:43- Morning, Jenna. - You know today's fancy dress day?

0:01:43 > 0:01:46- Yeah, I know, I'm on it. - Sorry.- Head office.

0:01:46 > 0:01:47I'm assuming you'll be wearing one -

0:01:47 > 0:01:49you know, just to support the troops.

0:01:49 > 0:01:50Well, of course.

0:01:53 > 0:01:54Knock knock.

0:01:55 > 0:01:57- My son, Ashton.- Ash.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00He's on work experience. I squared it with Jenna.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02Think he starts on the phones.

0:02:02 > 0:02:05Oh, yes - I've had an e-mail. It's somewhere. Hello.

0:02:05 > 0:02:09I'm Joe - head of sales. Come on. I'll show you to your work station.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13Who is he? What's his name?

0:02:13 > 0:02:14Ashton.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17Ashton? What's that? where he was conceived?

0:02:17 > 0:02:21Hardly Brooklyn, is it? He's Kim Driscoll's son.

0:02:21 > 0:02:22Kim? Trolley Kim?

0:02:22 > 0:02:27Face on her and she's got a kid like that! His dad must be lush.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32Do me a favour, Joe. Give him a job.

0:02:33 > 0:02:34Go on, you can put him on my team.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37Ally, this might come as a surprise to you,

0:02:37 > 0:02:38but I don't assemble teams on the basis

0:02:38 > 0:02:40of who might get off with each other.

0:02:40 > 0:02:41Please, Joe!

0:02:41 > 0:02:43He's about ten.

0:02:43 > 0:02:47I don't think a soon-to-be-divorced older woman

0:02:47 > 0:02:49is exactly what he's after.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52Look, I didn't want to have to tell you this,

0:02:52 > 0:02:55but I wished him here. Cosmic ordering.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57Yeah, well, wish yourself back to your desk

0:02:57 > 0:02:58and wish yourself top of your sales team,

0:02:58 > 0:03:02cos right now, you could do with all the help you can get.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17Costume delivery.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20No - turn around and take them back where they came from.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22Toke, it's head office dictat.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Dictat? What is this? Nazi Germany?

0:03:24 > 0:03:27It's for the website. It's fun.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30Tell Jenna - and I quote -

0:03:30 > 0:03:32"There's more chance of seeing a one-legged cat

0:03:32 > 0:03:33"shit on a frozen pond."

0:03:33 > 0:03:34OK, OK, fine.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36I will just leave them here for you.

0:03:36 > 0:03:39Doesn't that contravene some kind of health and safety dictat?

0:03:39 > 0:03:41No exceptions, quote-unquote.

0:03:41 > 0:03:45Look. Just take them with you.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47- I don't want them. - Who doesn't look good in a big ball?

0:03:47 > 0:03:51THEY ARGUE

0:03:51 > 0:03:52ENGINE

0:03:56 > 0:03:57Ooh!

0:03:59 > 0:04:01Joe! You all right, mate?

0:04:01 > 0:04:03Joe?

0:04:03 > 0:04:04I'm all right.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06I'm so sorry.

0:04:06 > 0:04:07It was an accident.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09No, it was totally my fault.

0:04:09 > 0:04:10It was an accident.

0:04:10 > 0:04:12I'll get Jenna.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14Any dizziness?

0:04:14 > 0:04:16No, but I can see a light in one eye.

0:04:16 > 0:04:17HE GASPS

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Now, the other one.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22He seems OK, but it's hard to tell with head injuries.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24He should really go to the hospital.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26- I'm fine.- Joe. - I've got a bit of a headache.

0:04:26 > 0:04:29What's the point spending half the day in A&E?

0:04:29 > 0:04:32- You took quite a hit, man. - I think he should rest.- At home?

0:04:32 > 0:04:35But if you start to feel worse or your headache intensifies...

0:04:35 > 0:04:37- Shall I call your wife? - She's at work.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40OK, I'll get Holly to drive you.

0:04:40 > 0:04:44OK. At least it gets me out of wearing a stupid outfit.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56This is all very well, but how am I supposed to get in tomorrow?

0:04:56 > 0:04:57Taxi?

0:04:59 > 0:05:02I expect you'll want to order that.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04Wouldn't want ME out of pocket!

0:05:04 > 0:05:05Enjoy your day off!

0:05:19 > 0:05:20Bel!

0:05:22 > 0:05:23Belinda!

0:05:30 > 0:05:31'Hi. You are through to Belinda.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33'Sorry I can't take your call.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35'Leave a message after the beep. Thanks.'

0:05:41 > 0:05:43Bel?

0:05:43 > 0:05:44Hello?

0:05:48 > 0:05:51- What the hell? - Joe, what are you doing back?

0:05:51 > 0:05:55Had an accident at work. They sent me home. What are you doing here?

0:05:55 > 0:05:57Oh...

0:05:57 > 0:06:00I felt weird. I needed a lie down.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03What? So you put the lock on?

0:06:03 > 0:06:05I dunno why. I just...

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Force of habit, I guess, cos we put it on when we go to bed.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10I think I was having some sort of panic attack.

0:06:10 > 0:06:14Panic attack? When did that start? At work, or something?

0:06:14 > 0:06:16Maybe it's those pills I've been taking.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Anyway, it doesn't matter about me. What happened to you?

0:06:18 > 0:06:21Oh, I was pissing around with Toke,

0:06:21 > 0:06:24and a load of stock came crashing down.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26It was totally my own fault.

0:06:26 > 0:06:28Joe. You could have bloody killed yourself.

0:06:28 > 0:06:29I'm fine.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31What a pair, eh?

0:06:31 > 0:06:35Still, maybe we should make the most of it, watch a movie or something?

0:06:35 > 0:06:37Yeah, maybe.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12Who said the art of conversation is dead?

0:07:12 > 0:07:14Right, I'm off to the club.

0:07:14 > 0:07:15Bye-bye. Bye.

0:07:16 > 0:07:18Wait for it, wait for it!

0:07:18 > 0:07:19Go, go, go!

0:07:19 > 0:07:23THEY SHOUT

0:07:23 > 0:07:26Come on, then! Come on, then! Come on, then!

0:07:26 > 0:07:27GET DOWN!

0:07:30 > 0:07:34Good, good, Jermaine. Nice one. Devour them!

0:07:34 > 0:07:36You think she's playing away?

0:07:36 > 0:07:38It's...aw.

0:07:38 > 0:07:42She's just been acting a bit odd lately, that's all.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44There was this thing -

0:07:44 > 0:07:47a year or so ago I found some texts on her phone.

0:07:47 > 0:07:50Nothing incriminating, just, you know, flirty stuff,

0:07:50 > 0:07:56with a guy from work, some doctor, some well-hung friggin' medic.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59How do you know he was well-hung?

0:07:59 > 0:08:02Cos that's the type she goes for.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07- Did you confront her? - Yeah, of course.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09She accused me of being paranoid and a snoop.

0:08:09 > 0:08:10Why were you looking through her phone?

0:08:10 > 0:08:13Doesn't everyone, now and again?

0:08:13 > 0:08:15I just got lucky. Or unlucky.

0:08:17 > 0:08:20I should have gone rounrd and smashed his head in.

0:08:25 > 0:08:26New girl seems nice.

0:08:26 > 0:08:27Yeah, she is.

0:08:29 > 0:08:34Why don't you pop over - tell her about your marital woes?

0:08:34 > 0:08:37Maybe you'll get a pity shag!

0:08:37 > 0:08:38Ach!

0:09:01 > 0:09:03- Accident?- Oh, look, Jenna...

0:09:03 > 0:09:05- It was totally my fault. - No, it was mine.

0:09:05 > 0:09:08- Mine.- It was mine.- It was my fault. - Mine.- Touching.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11Look, I'm not bothered whose fault it was.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13No-one's getting disciplined,

0:09:13 > 0:09:15but you're managers.

0:09:15 > 0:09:16You're supposed to be in charge

0:09:16 > 0:09:18and you're fooling around like kids in a playground.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20- Sorry.- Sorry.

0:09:20 > 0:09:21And don't lie to me.

0:09:21 > 0:09:24I could have spent a fortune on a safety review.

0:09:24 > 0:09:26Just as well you've got the eye in the sky then, isn't it?

0:09:26 > 0:09:27Well, you know what they say -

0:09:27 > 0:09:30nothing to hide, nothing to fear.

0:09:30 > 0:09:31Thank you.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39- See you later.- See you.

0:10:14 > 0:10:15If you go for visuals only,

0:10:15 > 0:10:18two or three rooms, we can link it to a laptop.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21- You're looking at 250?- Oh!

0:10:21 > 0:10:27And what does it look like? I mean, presumably it's discreet?

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Can you see a camera in there?

0:10:33 > 0:10:36No.

0:10:36 > 0:10:40- Are you sure you don't want to come? - Another bloody superhero movie.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42It makes the gym sound appealing.

0:10:42 > 0:10:46- I'll meet you after, though, yeah? Text me.- Will do.

0:10:52 > 0:10:55CAR ENGINE STARTS

0:11:19 > 0:11:22I suppose this is quite common these days, is it?

0:11:22 > 0:11:26- I suppose you get to do this all the time.- Yep.

0:11:26 > 0:11:31- It's not that I don't trust anyone. - Relationships are all about trust.

0:11:31 > 0:11:35The day I met my girlfriend, I said to her, "Sweetheart,

0:11:35 > 0:11:38"you ever cheat on me, I'll cut your cheek off."

0:11:39 > 0:11:41She never has.

0:11:48 > 0:11:51- How was it?- All right.

0:11:53 > 0:11:57Who fancies a Nando's? Mum's paying!

0:11:57 > 0:11:58Ha-ha!

0:11:58 > 0:12:04Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.

0:12:04 > 0:12:08Which great philosopher said that? Hm? Hm?

0:12:11 > 0:12:14Yoda. Empire Strikes Back. THEY LAUGH

0:12:15 > 0:12:19HE MIMICS YODA: Mm! Help you sell sportswear, I will!

0:12:20 > 0:12:23THEY LAUGH

0:12:25 > 0:12:29- Ashton, isn't it?- Ash.- Karl.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34Paper wraps stone.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37I used to have an ice cream man called Ash When I was a kid.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39Whenever he turned up, there was bedlam.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41Kids scrapping and screaming their orders.

0:12:41 > 0:12:45One time, he refused to serve me for pushing in.

0:12:45 > 0:12:48So I yelled at him, "Suck me, plonker!"

0:12:48 > 0:12:50And you know what he said?

0:12:50 > 0:12:53He said, "I will, and I'll chew it off an' all."

0:12:53 > 0:12:56Stayed with me, that.

0:12:56 > 0:13:00Karl, leave him alone. Sorry, I should have warned you.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03He's like weirdo central.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05And avoid Dean too, he's a close talker.

0:13:08 > 0:13:14I'm a free woman. It's official! Come on, tell me all about yourself.

0:13:14 > 0:13:17Not a great advert for marriage, is she? Nine months?

0:13:17 > 0:13:19I've been on speed dates that have lasted longer than that.

0:13:19 > 0:13:24Yeah, well, it turns out he was into prostitutes. Three a week sometimes.

0:13:24 > 0:13:28- Really?- That must have got costly. - She reckons he was a sex addict.

0:13:28 > 0:13:29Couldn't keep it in his pants.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32I suppose we don't really know anyone as well as we think.

0:13:32 > 0:13:37- Just make sure you choose a good one!- Aw! Piss off!

0:13:37 > 0:13:41Last time Ray had a jump, he was on a trampoline.

0:13:41 > 0:13:44- So, how did she find out? - His internet history.

0:13:44 > 0:13:45Schoolboy error.

0:13:45 > 0:13:48No, no, no, nothing incriminating on there. The opposite.

0:13:48 > 0:13:52Every time she checked it, he'd cleared it.

0:13:53 > 0:13:54Well, you know what they say.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck,

0:13:57 > 0:14:01it's probably your partner shagging someone else.

0:14:01 > 0:14:04- You what?- OK...

0:14:09 > 0:14:13MUFFLED DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

0:14:23 > 0:14:26SIREN WAILS

0:14:26 > 0:14:30- Thanks for being my first shag as a free woman!- Pleasure.

0:14:30 > 0:14:34You will talk to me tomorrow, won't you? You're not one of those guys?

0:14:34 > 0:14:37Of course.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40I can't believe you used to be a footballer. That's brilliant!

0:14:40 > 0:14:42Yeah, well, it's in the past.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44It's still awesome.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47Hey! If I Google you, can I find you in your kit?

0:14:47 > 0:14:51Ally! Look, the only reason I told you about that...

0:14:53 > 0:14:56..is it's the most interesting thing about me.

0:14:56 > 0:15:00You know, cos now I'm crap. Boring.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00I knew it. Lazy cow!

0:16:03 > 0:16:05HE CHUCKLES

0:16:08 > 0:16:10'I struggle to let go of things.'

0:16:10 > 0:16:15'Thoughts go round and round in my head like a hamster wheel.'

0:16:15 > 0:16:17It's the thing with anger,

0:16:17 > 0:16:21I know it's to do with anger at what happened.

0:16:21 > 0:16:25The powerlessness, betrayal by someone I trusted.

0:16:27 > 0:16:32And sometimes, I'd love to just wash it all away,

0:16:32 > 0:16:35you know?

0:16:35 > 0:16:39'Pick up a bottle and just swirl these thoughts

0:16:39 > 0:16:41'straight out of my mind.'

0:17:29 > 0:17:33TENSE MUSIC BUILDS

0:17:42 > 0:17:45Joe?

0:17:45 > 0:17:49I... The disciplinary? Jenna and the others are already in there.

0:17:52 > 0:17:56Yeah. HE BREATHES HEAVILY

0:17:56 > 0:18:00Sorry, sorry I'm late.

0:18:00 > 0:18:04- What's he doing here?- I'm allowed a representative. I read up online.

0:18:04 > 0:18:07- Right.- Look, Ray, you're a good worker.

0:18:07 > 0:18:09You're a good personality to have in the office.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12But we've got two issues that we wanted to discuss with you.

0:18:12 > 0:18:16How I got to be so awesome and how you can emulate me?

0:18:16 > 0:18:19- HE LAUGHS - Her face!

0:18:19 > 0:18:22Sorry, sorry, carry on.

0:18:22 > 0:18:24The perpetual lateness and the clothing,

0:18:24 > 0:18:27let's start with the clothing, Joe.

0:18:27 > 0:18:29Yeah, yeah, look, mate, none of us want to dress like we work in

0:18:29 > 0:18:31the City but we ask for shirt and trousers.

0:18:31 > 0:18:35He is wearing shirt and trousers. T-shirt, army trousers.

0:18:35 > 0:18:40- It's a Whitesnake top. - From the 1984 Slide It In Tour.

0:18:40 > 0:18:43- It's a classic.- We work on the phones. The public can't see us.

0:18:43 > 0:18:47Please wear a shirt. OK, and, lateness, I've got some dates...

0:18:47 > 0:18:49Sorry, just one second...

0:18:53 > 0:18:58- Can I help you? - Oh, I... I was just...

0:18:58 > 0:19:00Is it over already? That was quick.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04I forgot my laptop.

0:19:09 > 0:19:13Holly, look, I was playing a game and...

0:19:13 > 0:19:17Keep it between us, eh? OK.

0:19:19 > 0:19:23First of November, the day after the Halloween party, 23rd of...

0:19:23 > 0:19:26(Sorry.)

0:19:26 > 0:19:2923rd of December, the day after the Christmas party.

0:19:29 > 0:19:33Fifth of March, the day after your birthday.

0:19:33 > 0:19:36Am I noticing a pattern here, Ray?

0:19:38 > 0:19:40(No comment.)

0:19:55 > 0:19:58HE CHUCKLES

0:20:20 > 0:20:23I don't understand why it didn't go off!

0:20:23 > 0:20:25What's going on?

0:20:25 > 0:20:26What are you doing? Get down.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29- There is something wrong with the smoke alarm.- Finn, get down!

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Joe, we've just almost burned the house down,

0:20:31 > 0:20:32and the bloody thing didn't go off!

0:20:32 > 0:20:34- She forgot the bacon! - Just get down, you'll hurt yourself!

0:20:34 > 0:20:36It just needs new batteries.

0:20:36 > 0:20:40For once in your life will you do as I ask? GET DOWN!

0:20:43 > 0:20:47- Fine. You do it then.- Argh!

0:20:47 > 0:20:51Sorry. Finn. Finn... Sorry...

0:20:54 > 0:20:56Bad day.

0:21:05 > 0:21:08Have you noticed his moods lately?

0:21:08 > 0:21:10I think he's smoking weed.

0:21:12 > 0:21:14Where've you got that idea from?

0:21:14 > 0:21:16I was sleeping down here the other night, woke up in the morning

0:21:16 > 0:21:18and I could smell it, I'm sure I could.

0:21:18 > 0:21:22I think he's slipping outside for a...

0:21:22 > 0:21:25I think your imagination's got the better of you.

0:21:28 > 0:21:30- How was your day?- It was busy.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33Oh, and Jess Tyrell's finally shown her face again.

0:21:33 > 0:21:37- Tonsillitis, my arse.- Busy, rushed off your feet, as usual, all day.

0:21:39 > 0:21:41Did you come back here today?

0:21:46 > 0:21:47What are you on about?

0:21:49 > 0:21:51I know you were here.

0:21:55 > 0:22:01Dave from next-door said he heard voices and someone bumping around.

0:22:04 > 0:22:08Senile old sod. He's hearing things. I can assure you, it wasn't me.

0:22:12 > 0:22:15CHEERING AND SHOUTING

0:22:17 > 0:22:19Oh! Got you, got you, got you.

0:22:19 > 0:22:23Are you OK? Are you OK? Rock and roll!

0:22:23 > 0:22:26Rock and roll!

0:22:26 > 0:22:29THEY CHEER AND SHOUT

0:22:30 > 0:22:32You did it!

0:22:32 > 0:22:34You're next, Carly!

0:22:51 > 0:22:53- WOMAN:- It's always you, isn't it?

0:22:53 > 0:22:56- Always you!- You've done that before, haven't you?- Maybe.

0:22:56 > 0:22:59- LAUGHTER - Excuses!

0:22:59 > 0:23:00ZIPPING

0:23:00 > 0:23:02- Cut after cut, when's it going to end?- Yeah.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04You know, where is the money going to come from?

0:23:04 > 0:23:07- Yeah, I agree with you, but... - It's happening all the time now.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10VOICES BECOME INDISTINCT

0:23:10 > 0:23:14Don't tell me, somebody brought up government cuts.

0:23:14 > 0:23:16- Does it ever come to blows? - Frequently.

0:23:22 > 0:23:24- Not drinking?- No, I don't.

0:23:24 > 0:23:26Four years.

0:23:26 > 0:23:29Well, four years, three months and...

0:23:29 > 0:23:31quite a few days.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34See, I'm forgetting. That's progress.

0:23:34 > 0:23:36Are you alcoholic?

0:23:43 > 0:23:47Things happened. To my family. I had some...

0:23:48 > 0:23:52..bad stuff happen and I was very depressed, so I drank.

0:23:52 > 0:23:54Not every night, just often.

0:23:54 > 0:23:57And while I was drinking everything was...

0:23:57 > 0:23:59was fine, you know, good time Joe!

0:24:02 > 0:24:05And then I realised - and I'm so stupid it took me years to

0:24:05 > 0:24:09work this out - I realised that the booze was the problem.

0:24:09 > 0:24:13See, the booze made me depressed. The booze made it worse.

0:24:15 > 0:24:18That darkness, that, um...

0:24:18 > 0:24:19disgust, yeah.

0:24:21 > 0:24:25Waking up at three in the morning wanting to kill someone.

0:24:25 > 0:24:26Myself...

0:24:26 > 0:24:28HE CHUCKLES ..usually. So, er...

0:24:29 > 0:24:32I... I quit the booze and I started doing this.

0:24:34 > 0:24:35Something with purpose.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40So, that's my...

0:24:40 > 0:24:43really depressing life story.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46What's yours?

0:24:48 > 0:24:52- I'm...very boring.- No, you're not.

0:25:13 > 0:25:14BIRDSONG

0:25:34 > 0:25:36HE BREATHES HEAVILY

0:27:00 > 0:27:01Morning!

0:27:03 > 0:27:04Morning.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14Hello, family!

0:27:14 > 0:27:17Hey.

0:27:17 > 0:27:20- Good trip?- Great, great. Come here.

0:27:20 > 0:27:21Mmmm....

0:27:23 > 0:27:25Ooh, I've missed you...

0:27:25 > 0:27:28You go away for a night and you come back all affectionate.

0:27:28 > 0:27:31It's a good job I'm not the suspicious sort.

0:27:31 > 0:27:36- Where's the kids?- Out. And before you get any ideas, back any minute.

0:27:36 > 0:27:38I'm very quick. SHE CHUCKLES

0:27:45 > 0:27:48- That was nice.- Nice?!

0:27:48 > 0:27:51- A cup of tea is nice, a shower is nice, that was...- A cup of tea?

0:27:51 > 0:27:53- I'd love one if you're making. - HE GROANS

0:27:53 > 0:27:55Listen, before he gets back...

0:27:57 > 0:27:59..I think you were right about Finn.

0:28:00 > 0:28:02Really? Why?

0:28:02 > 0:28:05Well, you know the other day when he was going to go to Ryan's and

0:28:05 > 0:28:07stay the night?

0:28:07 > 0:28:10When me and Zoe got back from our day out, he was still here.

0:28:10 > 0:28:14Acting all strange. All kind of reasons why he hadn't gone.

0:28:14 > 0:28:16So when he went into the bath...

0:28:16 > 0:28:18I searched his room.

0:28:20 > 0:28:21- You searched his room?!- Mm.

0:28:21 > 0:28:25And not only did I find some weed, I also found...

0:28:27 > 0:28:28SHE SIGHS

0:28:28 > 0:28:30..johnnies.

0:28:33 > 0:28:35Right!

0:28:38 > 0:28:42- So he's, um...? - Is he? Well, who with?

0:28:42 > 0:28:45- Do you know something about this? - No, I don't, no.

0:28:48 > 0:28:50At least he's being careful.

0:28:55 > 0:28:57Oh, come on, come on.

0:29:03 > 0:29:05For God's sake!

0:29:07 > 0:29:10Joe, dinner's ready!

0:29:10 > 0:29:12Joe?

0:29:16 > 0:29:18I'm putting it on the table now.

0:29:35 > 0:29:37Joe!

0:29:47 > 0:29:49Come on, come on!

0:29:55 > 0:29:56Joe!

0:29:59 > 0:30:00Joe!

0:30:00 > 0:30:02Joe, dinner!

0:30:03 > 0:30:05Yeah, I'm here!

0:30:07 > 0:30:10- What are you doing? - Nothing, just, er...

0:30:10 > 0:30:11Nothing.

0:30:13 > 0:30:16MUSIC PLAYS THROUGH HEADPHONES

0:30:23 > 0:30:25Finn?

0:30:25 > 0:30:29- Can I have a word? - Yeah, and your word is "privacy"?

0:30:31 > 0:30:32You what?

0:30:32 > 0:30:35Well, you didn't even knock.

0:30:35 > 0:30:36HE CHUCKLES

0:30:36 > 0:30:39I did a half a knock! HE KNOCKS ON DOOR

0:30:39 > 0:30:43God, it stinks in here! You should open the window occasionally.

0:30:47 > 0:30:51Listen, um... Me and your mum having been talking and...

0:30:53 > 0:30:56We know you're at that age where you don't want to tell us anything...

0:30:56 > 0:30:57No.

0:30:57 > 0:31:00I'll tell you anything you want.

0:31:00 > 0:31:02I have no secrets from you.

0:31:02 > 0:31:05Shoot.

0:31:05 > 0:31:06OK. Um...

0:31:07 > 0:31:09Er...

0:31:09 > 0:31:10Do you have a girlfriend?

0:31:10 > 0:31:11No.

0:31:15 > 0:31:17Are you seeing anyone casually or...?

0:31:17 > 0:31:19No.

0:31:22 > 0:31:23Mate...

0:31:26 > 0:31:27..I was your age.

0:31:29 > 0:31:33I know all...the feelings, the...the...

0:31:33 > 0:31:38the haste to do what all your mates are doing with their girls and...

0:31:39 > 0:31:40Trust me...

0:31:42 > 0:31:44- ..there's no rush, OK? There's... - Dad...

0:31:47 > 0:31:49Yeah, fine. It's embarrassing.

0:31:49 > 0:31:53Neither of us want to discuss this, but...

0:31:54 > 0:31:57I'm just saying, as your dad...

0:32:04 > 0:32:06..don't get yourself into trouble.

0:32:10 > 0:32:11Bye, Dad.

0:32:29 > 0:32:31- Hello, stranger!- Hey!

0:32:31 > 0:32:34What happened to you Friday? Too ashamed to face me?

0:32:34 > 0:32:35No, I was just...

0:32:37 > 0:32:39Maddy, listen...

0:32:41 > 0:32:42You seem like a great girl.

0:32:42 > 0:32:44And you're fun...

0:32:44 > 0:32:46kind of crazy!

0:32:46 > 0:32:48THEY LAUGH

0:32:48 > 0:32:49But...

0:32:50 > 0:32:53..you're just out of a marriage...

0:32:53 > 0:32:55..and I'm...

0:32:55 > 0:32:56where I am.

0:32:56 > 0:32:59You get what I'm saying?

0:32:59 > 0:33:00Yes.

0:33:00 > 0:33:02You're saying you shagged me

0:33:02 > 0:33:04and you don't want anything more to do with me.

0:33:04 > 0:33:06I think I get it loud and clear, Ash.

0:33:06 > 0:33:08- That's not what I'm saying... - OK, no problem.

0:33:14 > 0:33:18Answer me a question. I'm an old fart, so I'm out of touch.

0:33:18 > 0:33:21What sort of age do kids start having sex these days?

0:33:21 > 0:33:25Why, are you looking for a younger model? No? Um...

0:33:25 > 0:33:26Why are you asking ME?

0:33:26 > 0:33:29I was 18 and then I had to get her paralytic on scrumpy and black.

0:33:29 > 0:33:33It was... high romance, I can tell you.

0:33:33 > 0:33:38But all these lot, you think they started young? I mean, what...16?

0:33:38 > 0:33:41- 15?- At least.

0:33:42 > 0:33:45I blame the internet. They watch too much porn. I mean...

0:33:47 > 0:33:51I was startled the first time I saw a vagina. I mean, up close.

0:33:51 > 0:33:54I mean, genuinely, I wasn't expecting that many folds.

0:33:56 > 0:33:57Yeah.

0:33:59 > 0:34:00Kid trouble?

0:34:01 > 0:34:03Well...

0:34:07 > 0:34:09Philosophical question, yeah?

0:34:09 > 0:34:12Is it better to know something you'd rather you didn't,

0:34:12 > 0:34:15or is it better to have never found out?

0:34:22 > 0:34:24Only you can answer that.

0:34:34 > 0:34:36LADDER CLATTERS

0:36:02 > 0:36:06Oi, you lot! Get back in! We don't pay you to kill yourselves!

0:36:19 > 0:36:22Hey, what time do you call this?

0:36:22 > 0:36:26- You what?- Just a bit tardy. Double standards, boss.

0:36:26 > 0:36:29- Who do you think you're talking to? - Joe, I was only...

0:36:29 > 0:36:33- Jenna's office, now. - What, are you for real?

0:36:33 > 0:36:35Now!

0:36:35 > 0:36:40- Disobeying your boss is a sackable offence, Ray.- Like that, is it?

0:36:40 > 0:36:41Pulling rank.

0:36:41 > 0:36:45- One of them now, are you?- On your feet, come on.- Come on, mate.

0:36:45 > 0:36:48- Get up, you fat twat. - Hey, I'm big-boned!

0:36:48 > 0:36:50- Hey!- Joe...!

0:36:50 > 0:36:53- Hey! Joe! Get off him! - GRUNTING

0:36:53 > 0:36:55Come on, Joe!

0:36:55 > 0:36:58You prick! YOU PRICK!

0:36:58 > 0:37:01Written warning, the pair of you!

0:37:01 > 0:37:04And you lot, get back to work! Show's over!

0:37:25 > 0:37:28You might need a start-up repair or it could be just a loose connection.

0:37:28 > 0:37:32- How quick can you do it? - Pick it up first thing tomorrow.

0:37:37 > 0:37:41Listen, you...you don't go into the programmes or anything, do you?

0:37:41 > 0:37:45It's...it's not porn, it's...it's...

0:37:45 > 0:37:47- It's work stuff. - I just fix the problem, mate.

0:37:49 > 0:37:50Yeah.

0:37:56 > 0:37:57So?

0:37:59 > 0:38:03- Talk to me.- It was nothing. Just a...storm in a teacup.

0:38:03 > 0:38:05Coffee mug.

0:38:08 > 0:38:12Day-to-day, I'm too busy to gauge the balance of our delicate

0:38:12 > 0:38:16ecosystem, but Holly is my ear to the ground and I've found that

0:38:16 > 0:38:18she's a pretty good barometer.

0:38:18 > 0:38:20- She's nosy.- Yeah.

0:38:21 > 0:38:26She think you aren't yourself. You haven't been since the accident.

0:38:26 > 0:38:30She thinks that you're spending a disproportionate amount of time

0:38:30 > 0:38:32staring at your laptop at something which,

0:38:32 > 0:38:35at best guess, is not work-related.

0:38:37 > 0:38:39How would you rate that assessment?

0:38:39 > 0:38:41Six out of ten.

0:38:44 > 0:38:48Sales are down 13% on last year, Joe. 13.

0:38:48 > 0:38:49Unlucky for some!

0:38:51 > 0:38:52SHE BANGS CUP DOWN

0:38:55 > 0:38:59I need you focused. Doing what you do best.

0:38:59 > 0:39:01So whatever is going on in your life,

0:39:01 > 0:39:04and if it is something I can help you with, tell me!

0:39:06 > 0:39:09But, please, sort it out.

0:39:16 > 0:39:17DOOR CLOSES

0:39:25 > 0:39:26'I mean, do I know these people?

0:39:28 > 0:39:32'I live with them. They are the closest people in my life. My...

0:39:33 > 0:39:37'..most cherished people in the whole...world.

0:39:37 > 0:39:39'But do I really know them?

0:39:40 > 0:39:43'Does anyone really know anyone?'

0:39:44 > 0:39:46Husbands and wives...

0:39:46 > 0:39:48have private thoughts, things we...

0:39:48 > 0:39:49we don't ever tell each other.

0:39:51 > 0:39:53Same as our kids.

0:39:55 > 0:39:57Have I got a right to know everything?

0:39:59 > 0:40:01Have I?

0:40:02 > 0:40:07Am I God? Am I the all seeing eye?

0:40:09 > 0:40:14Or have I just found a new addiction - my family?

0:40:18 > 0:40:19Ray.

0:40:21 > 0:40:22Sorry - I'm a prick.

0:40:23 > 0:40:25You said it.

0:40:28 > 0:40:3213%. 13.

0:40:32 > 0:40:37That's massive, that's at least double Ray's IQ.

0:40:37 > 0:40:40That's what you know, but I had my IQ tested and I'm bang average.

0:40:41 > 0:40:45So, what are we going to do about it? Hm?

0:42:19 > 0:42:21CAR HORN HONKS

0:44:33 > 0:44:36Can I speak to you, sir? Don't worry, you're not under arrest.

0:44:36 > 0:44:39Can I speak to you about the reasons why you're here?

0:44:39 > 0:44:40I'm just out shopping.

0:44:40 > 0:44:42You're not here to meet a 14-year-old girl?

0:44:42 > 0:44:44If I call your mobile now, it won't ring?

0:44:46 > 0:44:47It might...

0:44:47 > 0:44:50So you're here to have sex with a 14-year-old girl?

0:44:50 > 0:44:52What? No!

0:44:52 > 0:44:54Can you just confirm that that's your profile picture?

0:44:54 > 0:44:56Yeah...

0:44:56 > 0:44:58So you haven't been messaging and texting someone

0:44:58 > 0:44:59that you believe to be called Gaby

0:44:59 > 0:45:01to meet here at this exact spot

0:45:01 > 0:45:04to then go into the Brookfield Hotel for sex?

0:45:04 > 0:45:05No, I'm here to meet a friend!

0:45:05 > 0:45:07I've got some messages here, would you like me to read them?

0:45:07 > 0:45:08I'm not here for sex!

0:45:08 > 0:45:10"You're a very sexy girl,

0:45:10 > 0:45:12"and we're not going to just hold hands and kiss...

0:45:12 > 0:45:14"when I get you in that hotel room,

0:45:14 > 0:45:16"I'm going to take off your bra, take off your knickers..."

0:45:16 > 0:45:18What? It's just chat...!

0:45:18 > 0:45:19You're a teacher - a teacher!

0:45:19 > 0:45:21- What were you thinking? - I would never...

0:45:21 > 0:45:23Your school will hear about this, you will lose your job,

0:45:23 > 0:45:26and you'll never stand in a classroom ever again.

0:45:26 > 0:45:27Please don't.

0:45:27 > 0:45:30If she'd have turned up, I wouldn't have gone through with it.

0:45:30 > 0:45:31If she'd turned up!

0:45:31 > 0:45:35You're talking utter filth to what you think is a 14-year-old girl -

0:45:35 > 0:45:37you're the worst, the very worst,

0:45:37 > 0:45:40and I'm glad you turned up, I'm really glad that you turned up!

0:45:44 > 0:45:45Can I see your warrant card, please?

0:45:45 > 0:45:46I never said I was police.

0:45:46 > 0:45:48Then what are you?

0:45:48 > 0:45:52We hunt down paedophiles, we report all our findings to the police.

0:45:52 > 0:45:54This video goes online - everyone you know will see this.

0:45:54 > 0:45:57So you can't arrest me then, can you?

0:45:57 > 0:46:00No, but we'll be taking all this to the police.

0:46:06 > 0:46:07Joe...

0:46:07 > 0:46:09So this is your revenge, is it?

0:46:10 > 0:46:13This is your revenge.

0:46:23 > 0:46:25HE ROARS IN FRUSTRATION

0:46:25 > 0:46:26- I couldn't tell you. - Why not?

0:46:26 > 0:46:28- Because I knew you'd disapprove. - Because you blame me.

0:46:28 > 0:46:31- I don't blame you. - You still blame me.

0:46:33 > 0:46:34We reported him.

0:46:34 > 0:46:37We went through the proper channels. But he got away with it.

0:46:37 > 0:46:38What more could we have done?

0:46:42 > 0:46:45These men are not him, Bel.

0:46:46 > 0:46:50No matter how many of these you get, they won't ever be him.

0:46:50 > 0:46:54No, but I'm stopping them doing what they did to my daughter.

0:46:54 > 0:46:58Those bastards, those filthy, disgusting bastards...

0:46:58 > 0:46:59She's my little girl!

0:46:59 > 0:47:02And she's mine too. How do you think I feel?

0:47:03 > 0:47:04I'm her dad...

0:47:07 > 0:47:10I... I'm her protector.

0:47:14 > 0:47:17OK, yeah, I could have done more, I could have beaten him senseless,

0:47:17 > 0:47:20and got myself sent down - would that have helped?

0:47:20 > 0:47:22What good would that have done,

0:47:22 > 0:47:24what kind of father would that have made me?

0:47:24 > 0:47:26So you just drank it all away.

0:47:26 > 0:47:27Well, what good did that do -

0:47:27 > 0:47:30what kind of father did THAT make you?

0:47:30 > 0:47:31At least I'm doing something!

0:47:31 > 0:47:33I'M doing something!

0:47:34 > 0:47:38I'm working with these kids, making sure they've got someone genuine,

0:47:38 > 0:47:41someone who wants to help, that's doing something -

0:47:41 > 0:47:45but this, this - entrapment...

0:47:46 > 0:47:51What would you do, what if this guy goes back and tops himself?

0:47:53 > 0:47:55Is that what you want?

0:47:55 > 0:47:57You want blood on your hands?

0:47:58 > 0:48:01If they can't live with themselves...

0:48:02 > 0:48:05They need locking up, out of harm's way,

0:48:05 > 0:48:07they need their balls cutting off! You know in prison,

0:48:07 > 0:48:11they're worse than murderers, they're lower than rapists, why?

0:48:11 > 0:48:14Because ten minutes of their life, ten minutes of their miserable life

0:48:14 > 0:48:16and it stays with those kids forever.

0:48:16 > 0:48:17Stays with our daughter forever!

0:48:17 > 0:48:19And we did nothing!

0:48:19 > 0:48:22We couldn't even get the bastard sent to prison!

0:48:36 > 0:48:38How would you feel if it was Finn?

0:48:42 > 0:48:43What?

0:48:43 > 0:48:47How would you feel if someone did what you've just done to Finn?

0:48:51 > 0:48:54Well, if Finn was trying shag a 14-year-old girl...

0:48:54 > 0:48:55He has been.

0:48:58 > 0:48:59He has been.

0:49:01 > 0:49:03I've seen him.

0:49:03 > 0:49:06But he's 16, so it's all right?

0:49:07 > 0:49:08What do you mean?

0:49:10 > 0:49:12Joe? What do you...?

0:49:13 > 0:49:15Who?

0:49:15 > 0:49:18Hayley. The girl from across the road. I've...

0:49:20 > 0:49:21Him and her.

0:49:23 > 0:49:24I've seen them.

0:49:27 > 0:49:28What do you mean, you've seen them?

0:49:30 > 0:49:34What's going on? How could you have seen them?

0:49:40 > 0:49:43I wasn't meaning to spy on the kids, I was just...

0:49:43 > 0:49:45Spying on me?

0:49:45 > 0:49:46Trying to find reassurance.

0:49:50 > 0:49:51What kind of man does this?

0:49:51 > 0:49:54One who's been hurt. One whose wife's betrayed him.

0:49:55 > 0:49:58Oh, right, yeah, so it's MY fault.

0:49:58 > 0:50:00Yeah.

0:50:00 > 0:50:04Joe, I have told you time and time again...

0:50:04 > 0:50:06Nothing happened.

0:50:06 > 0:50:07Nothing meaning what?

0:50:07 > 0:50:10Sex? Come on, Belinda, don't insult my intelligence.

0:50:10 > 0:50:14People don't send messages like that unless they've...

0:50:14 > 0:50:17Do you know what? Fine.

0:50:17 > 0:50:22Hate me. But you were a mess, Joe. You were a bloody mess.

0:50:22 > 0:50:24And I wanted the old you, the fun you,

0:50:24 > 0:50:28before all this SHIT came into our lives.

0:50:28 > 0:50:29And he offered a bit of that...

0:50:29 > 0:50:31- Did he?- Yes!

0:50:34 > 0:50:36So did you scr...

0:50:38 > 0:50:39Did you screw him?

0:50:40 > 0:50:44Come on, Belinda, truth now, no more lies...did you screw him?

0:50:50 > 0:50:51No.

0:50:53 > 0:50:54But I wanted to.

0:51:04 > 0:51:06And I wanted to kill Marlon Fielding,

0:51:06 > 0:51:08for what he did to our daughter.

0:51:10 > 0:51:11But I didn't...

0:51:14 > 0:51:15I didn't...

0:51:16 > 0:51:18DOOR OPENS

0:51:18 > 0:51:19It's Finn.

0:51:20 > 0:51:23Please don't show him, don't show him, please.

0:51:23 > 0:51:25They can't know I did this.

0:51:25 > 0:51:27Hey - who's home?

0:51:27 > 0:51:28Both!

0:51:28 > 0:51:30Slackers. Right, make us a brew!

0:51:30 > 0:51:32Belinda, Belinda...

0:51:32 > 0:51:36- You stupid boy! You stupid, stupid boy!- Mum! What is it?

0:51:36 > 0:51:37We know about Hayley.

0:51:37 > 0:51:39Tell me you haven't had sex. Tell me, Finn, tell me!

0:51:39 > 0:51:41We haven't, I promise!

0:51:41 > 0:51:44What were you thinking? She's 13! You could go to jail!

0:51:44 > 0:51:46- Jail... - It's statutory rape!

0:51:48 > 0:51:50Finn, look at me.

0:51:50 > 0:51:51You know what happened to Zoe.

0:51:51 > 0:51:54You're old enough - you know what she went through!

0:51:54 > 0:51:55I'm not like that!

0:51:57 > 0:52:00Mum, I just like her, OK... I'm not like that!

0:52:00 > 0:52:04I know you're not, I know you're not, angel,

0:52:04 > 0:52:07but if this went to court, you know, if the police got involved...

0:52:08 > 0:52:11It's illegal...they could charge you,

0:52:11 > 0:52:13they could put you on the register.

0:52:13 > 0:52:16I'm sorry... I'm sorry...

0:52:16 > 0:52:20You don't see her any more, Finn, OK? You can't see her!

0:52:20 > 0:52:22I'm sorry...

0:53:48 > 0:53:49Dad?

0:54:02 > 0:54:04Dad...

0:54:06 > 0:54:08If anyone ever hurts you again...

0:54:30 > 0:54:31Look...

0:54:32 > 0:54:36If it's the divorce thing, that wasn't my fault.

0:54:36 > 0:54:38I know I'm a bit older than you,

0:54:38 > 0:54:41but I think if we went on a date,

0:54:41 > 0:54:44nice meal, say, and got to know one another...

0:54:45 > 0:54:46Follow me.

0:54:53 > 0:54:54Ash!

0:54:54 > 0:54:56Climb up.

0:54:56 > 0:54:57No chance!

0:54:58 > 0:54:59Climb up! Come on.

0:55:06 > 0:55:07Now look down.

0:55:10 > 0:55:11Ash, Jesus!

0:55:15 > 0:55:16Look down.

0:55:21 > 0:55:25Now, imagine an internal voice...

0:55:27 > 0:55:30..shouting "Jump!"

0:55:33 > 0:55:35"Jump!"

0:55:36 > 0:55:37"Jump!"

0:55:42 > 0:55:43That's how it feels to be me.

0:55:48 > 0:55:51LAUGHTER

0:55:59 > 0:56:03So! Shakespeare walks into a pub in ye olde England.

0:56:03 > 0:56:07The barman looks and shouts, "Oi, get out, Shakespeare!

0:56:07 > 0:56:08"You're Bard!"

0:56:08 > 0:56:10Ba-doom-tish!

0:56:10 > 0:56:11LAUGHTER

0:56:51 > 0:56:52Holly!

0:56:52 > 0:56:54You are the oil in the engine, Holly.

0:56:54 > 0:56:57Everyone's living these amazing lives and I'm just stuck!

0:57:02 > 0:57:04Oh, my God! Adam?

0:57:05 > 0:57:06Wow!

0:57:09 > 0:57:10Your name, please?

0:57:10 > 0:57:11Jenna Moss.