0:00:02 > 0:00:03This programme contains strong language.
0:00:03 > 0:00:06This year is the 70th anniversary of the Edinburgh Festival
0:00:06 > 0:00:08and there are over 3,000 shows performing at the fringe.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10One of those is by theatre company Eggs Collective,
0:00:10 > 0:00:12who, like me, are no strangers to the festival.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14They've been performing their show, Get A Round,
0:00:14 > 0:00:17live on stage, every night, here at Summerhall
0:00:17 > 0:00:19and what you're about to see is a special version,
0:00:19 > 0:00:23filmed in the Star & Garter in their home town of Manchester,
0:00:23 > 0:00:25a city that prides itself on generosity of spirit
0:00:25 > 0:00:27and having a good time.
0:00:27 > 0:00:31It's an homage to the boozer, to friendship and the glory of finding
0:00:31 > 0:00:35salvation around sticky tables and ripped-open crisp packets.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38It's part of a strand called Performance Live,
0:00:38 > 0:00:40bringing shows produced by some of today's most exciting
0:00:40 > 0:00:43artists to the small screen.
0:00:43 > 0:00:47As with any big night out, expect strong language, politics and pints.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50But luckily, you won't have to queue for a taxi at the end.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Welcome to Manchester.
0:00:57 > 0:00:58We're Eggs Collective
0:00:58 > 0:01:01and tonight, we're taking you on a massive night out.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Because, let's face it, the world needs one at the minute.
0:01:04 > 0:01:05Before we get started,
0:01:05 > 0:01:09here are our three golden rules for an epic night out...
0:01:10 > 0:01:11Rule number one...
0:01:14 > 0:01:16If you haven't got the money, it doesn't matter,
0:01:16 > 0:01:19accept a drink and don't bang on about it.
0:01:19 > 0:01:20Rule number two...
0:01:22 > 0:01:25And by that we mean there's no half-measures tonight.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27And rule number three...
0:01:29 > 0:01:30And that, my friends, is it.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Ready? First round's on us!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38ALL: Manchester! Open or closed?!
0:01:38 > 0:01:39LOUD CHEERING
0:01:39 > 0:01:41MUSIC: I Get Around by the Beach Boys
0:01:50 > 0:01:51Yes!
0:01:51 > 0:01:54This is our game, it's called Open Or Closed
0:01:54 > 0:01:55and we always play it.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Whatever's going on out there, you can forget it all,
0:01:57 > 0:02:00come in here and be open with us.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01Whoo!
0:02:01 > 0:02:05Absolutely brilliant. You guys are bloody powerful.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08As our dear friend Michael Barrymore would say,
0:02:08 > 0:02:11you guys are our kind of people.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15I think tonight is going to be certifiably massive.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19- Tonight could be the night we start a revolution, right?- Yeah!
0:02:19 > 0:02:23An amazing night where we ruin our best shoes, sweat Shiraz,
0:02:23 > 0:02:28puke up salty chips, bang on, storm off and live like absolute dons.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Yes. Hey...
0:02:32 > 0:02:34And I don't want to jinx it, but I think tonight, here,
0:02:34 > 0:02:35with these guys,
0:02:35 > 0:02:39it could be as big as the night we had Bristol Cream with Drake.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Or, Sara, the Night of the Three Wines?
0:02:41 > 0:02:45- Oh...- Yeah?- Ah, that was a big night for you, wasn't it?
0:02:45 > 0:02:49- You mad 'ead! - It was that. What am I like?
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Or there could be a 7am trip to Timpson's,
0:02:51 > 0:02:53like on the night of the padlocked scrotum.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Mm.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57My nads are still stinging from that...
0:02:58 > 0:03:01It could be anything, because right now, we're doing the bit
0:03:01 > 0:03:03just before everything kicks off.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06We're saying hello, we're checking our lippy,
0:03:06 > 0:03:08we're fighting over who's going to get the first round in.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Think I'll leave them to it.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14We don't know which way tonight's going to go. It could go any way.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Like, you didn't know on the morning of the Night of the Two
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Brothers it was going to be the Night of the Two Brothers.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Like, at that point, you didn't even know they were related.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25No! No idea.
0:03:25 > 0:03:30- I mean, come to think of it, there was a family resemblance, but... - Yeah, but you didn't KNOW.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Tonight could be one of those amazing nights
0:03:32 > 0:03:34where everyone is somehow in the right mood.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Everyone's wearing shoes that they can dance in,
0:03:37 > 0:03:39nobody's feeling tired, or hungry,
0:03:39 > 0:03:43or sort of weirdly ashamed for some reason they don't understand.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46And it could be wild! Like, in a few hours' time,
0:03:46 > 0:03:49we could all be wildly swapping contact lenses.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Now, it is a good job you lot are up for it,
0:03:52 > 0:03:55because tonight is going to be a game-changer.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56Yes, it is.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- MUSIC IN BACKGROUND - Tonight is going to be a game-changer, right?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Hey, we've all got problems,
0:04:01 > 0:04:02but we're going to leave those out there.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06I'm not going to let them seep in. Not tonight. Right?
0:04:06 > 0:04:10And they don't know it, but I've got a plan. I'm going to save them.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11And I'll save you.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12MUSIC STOPS
0:04:12 > 0:04:15And then, I'm going to get cheesy chips on the way home.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Now, we can't have a massive night out, just the three of us.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- Believe me, we've tried. - It does not work. Doesn't work.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Tonight, we are going to need everybody.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30In fact, we've come up with a list of all the people we need for a big
0:04:30 > 0:04:35night out, and, Manchester, I think you'll find...
0:04:35 > 0:04:37it's been laminated.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39WHOOPING AND CHEERING
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Now, you know who these people are, don't worry about it,
0:04:44 > 0:04:46you've met them a million times before on every night out you've
0:04:46 > 0:04:49ever been on, so let's see who we've got in, shall we?
0:04:49 > 0:04:52This is the part of the night where you meet everyone properly.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55You're all polite now, "Ooh, how's your week been?"
0:04:55 > 0:04:57And "Ooh, what is it you do?"
0:04:57 > 0:04:58But give it five minutes
0:04:58 > 0:05:00and this lot will be in each other's arms,
0:05:00 > 0:05:03channelling their inner bears on the dance floor.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06So, first up, we are going to need someone
0:05:06 > 0:05:08to be our Charlie Chuck-up for the evening.
0:05:08 > 0:05:13That's the person who's going to spend half the night in the loos. Any takers?
0:05:13 > 0:05:16Over here, Lowri, in the corner.
0:05:16 > 0:05:17CHEERING
0:05:17 > 0:05:19APPLAUSE
0:05:19 > 0:05:22- Now, we need a small group of Pervs. - Oh, that is actually what
0:05:22 > 0:05:25is known as a frottage of pervs.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26Yeah, that is the collective noun.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29I think you guys.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32Good. Thank you.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- Oh, now, we have got The Glitterball.- Here!
0:05:35 > 0:05:38- This Disco Is Making Me Political.- Here!
0:05:38 > 0:05:41And the Archbishop of Banterbury. Oi! Oi! That's me!
0:05:41 > 0:05:42What am I like?!
0:05:42 > 0:05:46I have got some absolute classics lined up for you tonight.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48I've got bants in my pants.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Right, you lot, gather round. Here's a cheeky little chronicle
0:05:52 > 0:05:54from the old bibliotheque.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57- I went out this one night, right? I was...- Fantastic!
0:05:57 > 0:06:00But we are just doing the list, so if you could see your way
0:06:00 > 0:06:02to putting the bants back in your pants for now,
0:06:02 > 0:06:04that would be great.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Thanks, Archbishop. All right,
0:06:05 > 0:06:08- now we need Hugh Watt.- You what?
0:06:08 > 0:06:12Hugh Watt, yeah, is the person who isn't quite with it.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Isn't quite with it, for some reason.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Maybe he had a few too many drinks early doors or maybe it's something
0:06:17 > 0:06:20else, but basically, they need everything explaining
0:06:20 > 0:06:22to them a few times, OK?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25All right, so, Hugh, babe, listen.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29What we're doing here - yeah -
0:06:29 > 0:06:33is a list of people that we need on the night out, yeah?
0:06:33 > 0:06:34Right.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Yeah.
0:06:37 > 0:06:38We're having a massive night out.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39Right.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Yes, he's got it! Whay!
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Can I get a Sam from Accounts?
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Hi, Sam.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50And a Prisoner of Chatskaban. OK, I'll demonstrate.
0:06:50 > 0:06:55OK, when somebody puts you in the prison of Chatskaban,
0:06:55 > 0:06:57they start talking to you. They lock you with eye contact
0:06:57 > 0:07:00and, before you know it, you're trapped. You have never met
0:07:00 > 0:07:03this person before, but they keep talking to you and you are thinking,
0:07:03 > 0:07:06"Why me? What have I done to deserve this?" You're looking round,
0:07:06 > 0:07:09- seeing what else is going on in the room.- She's latched.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Now, we need the Emphatic Huggers.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Well, we are all going to do that one, all right?
0:07:14 > 0:07:15Not just yet.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Bit early. But you'll know when the time is right. So, until then,
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Pervs, keep your hands to yourselves.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Yeah, where I can see 'em.
0:07:25 > 0:07:30And, last but not least, we need a DJ No Requests, so...
0:07:33 > 0:07:34Hey.
0:07:34 > 0:07:39Erm...have you got any of Mick Hucknall's solo stuff?
0:07:40 > 0:07:43MUSIC: Atomic by Blondie
0:07:43 > 0:07:48TRIO CHEER WILDLY
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Wait, wait, wait, wait...
0:07:50 > 0:07:52- Stop, stop, stop, stop. - MUSIC STOPS
0:07:52 > 0:07:53OK, Hugh...
0:07:53 > 0:07:55do you get it?
0:07:55 > 0:07:56I'll explain.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58So, what happened was, Lowri said to him,
0:07:58 > 0:08:02"DJ No Requests." Then, she asked for Mick Hucknall's solo stuff...
0:08:02 > 0:08:05- Mm-hm.- ..but he played...
0:08:05 > 0:08:06A different song.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07Good.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:11 > 0:08:16MUSIC: Atomic by Blondie
0:08:21 > 0:08:24I love this bit. It's about two drinks in, all right?
0:08:24 > 0:08:27And everybody's glowing - and not in a wholesome way.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31We are shaking off the shitstorm now. I can't even remember who
0:08:31 > 0:08:32Katie Hopkins is any more.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Anyone sitting here?
0:08:36 > 0:08:39It's all getting a bit wavy in here, if you know what I mean.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Last time I felt like this, it was the Night of the Three Wines.
0:08:42 > 0:08:43Oh, my God.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Have I told you about that one?
0:08:46 > 0:08:49No, you don't know about the Night of the Three Wines.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Right, budge up. You're going to love this one.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55So, I went out this one night, right, and I've got on this
0:08:55 > 0:08:58brand-new blue dress and a necklace that was so massive
0:08:58 > 0:09:02I looked just like the bloody Lord Mayor of Wetherspoon's,
0:09:02 > 0:09:04whatever he's called. You know him, don't you? She knows him.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Right. So I'm out, right, and I've got on, like,
0:09:07 > 0:09:10- you know that...- Right, this is the part of the night where suddenly
0:09:10 > 0:09:13all conversations fizzle out at the same time and everyone
0:09:13 > 0:09:15in the pub is listening to the one person who is telling
0:09:15 > 0:09:18an absolutely mad anecdote.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20I've had not five, not four, but three small wines -
0:09:20 > 0:09:21and I'm on the floor.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25One sniff of the barman's apron, as me dad would say.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27So, I'm lying on the floor, right,
0:09:27 > 0:09:30worshipping at the old porcelain throne, if you get me, mate.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Banter.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36Well, almost everyone... Chatskaban.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40We are so much more than our names written in felt tip
0:09:40 > 0:09:42on the side of a paper cup.
0:09:43 > 0:09:47Three small wines and I am launching my guts up into the bog.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Classic. What am I like?! And then, my mates are in the cubicle with me.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52They've come to see the show.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Those paper cups. Half the country's drinking out of them
0:09:55 > 0:09:57and the other half's begging out of them.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58And my mates are like,
0:09:58 > 0:10:01"What are you like? You absolute legend.
0:10:01 > 0:10:06"We have seen some top-quality mash-heads in our time,
0:10:06 > 0:10:11"but you, my friend, you are King of the goddamned Hill."
0:10:11 > 0:10:13She's cracking up! Look at her!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Wait for it, mate, right?
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Next thing I know, someone in the neighbouring cubicle
0:10:19 > 0:10:21pops their head over, right? They're like,
0:10:21 > 0:10:23"Mate, pull her legs back under, will you?"
0:10:23 > 0:10:26So, they do. You know how they wind in firemen's hoses?
0:10:26 > 0:10:27She does.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32So, there I was. Firmly wedged under the old influence, as they say.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35And another thing, self-service check-outs?!
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Hold that thought.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39They really chap my arse.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42Yeah. "Oh, thank you.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45"I'll put that on my CV, shall I? A quick unpaid internship
0:10:45 > 0:10:47"on my lunch hour."
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Oh! This disco is making her political.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54How do you explain a tax loophole to a child?
0:10:54 > 0:10:59And...what happens if you like the sound of your own echo chamber?
0:10:59 > 0:11:03Mm. Now, this isn't even politics. This is just common sense.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06Why are there suddenly a lot of princesses everywhere?
0:11:06 > 0:11:10And...is it just me or does everyone look a little bit more like
0:11:10 > 0:11:12a porn star these days?
0:11:12 > 0:11:14I mean, that's all right, isn't it? Cos that's a choice.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18But what happens if the menu is a little bit shit?
0:11:19 > 0:11:23Michelle Heaton is Mum of the Year. Nigel Farage has got a pint
0:11:23 > 0:11:26in his hand, Jeremy Hunt has got the keys to the hospital
0:11:26 > 0:11:29and Gary Barlow is salt of the Earth!
0:11:32 > 0:11:33God, I need a wee!
0:11:41 > 0:11:43What's she like?
0:11:44 > 0:11:47This is exactly like the night, right, she was drinking
0:11:47 > 0:11:49on antibiotics and then she took herself off for a little swim
0:11:49 > 0:11:51in the Manchester Ship Canal.
0:11:51 > 0:11:52BOTH: A legend.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55Right!
0:11:57 > 0:12:00- Time for another round, methinks. - Yes.- Yes, ladies!- Yes, please!
0:12:00 > 0:12:03OK. This will be hilarious. She thinks I'm getting her...
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- ..a large house white! - I'm going to get her a pint
0:12:06 > 0:12:10of Baileys and lemonade, aka "the creamy curdler".
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Thanks, mate!
0:12:13 > 0:12:16If she gets me another bloody pint of Baileys and lemonade...
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Hey, listen! Move up. Thank you.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25Do you guys know what time it is now? I bet you don't, do you?
0:12:25 > 0:12:28No? Well, don't worry, cos I do.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31It is - wait for it -
0:12:31 > 0:12:32karaoke time.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35WHOOPING
0:12:35 > 0:12:37It's our chance to shine, guys!
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Maybe you want to get the whole pub going with a rendition
0:12:42 > 0:12:45of Sweet Caroline. Or you might meet the love of your life
0:12:45 > 0:12:48during a rendition of I Got You Babe.
0:12:48 > 0:12:49I don't know. Or, perhaps...
0:12:49 > 0:12:51DJ No Requests...
0:12:51 > 0:12:52CLICKING FINGERS
0:12:52 > 0:12:54..play my song.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57MUFFLED MUSIC
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Yeah, can you pump it up a little more, please?
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Perhaps you just want to be the centre of attention.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13You just want to feel the music in you, like you are a modern-day
0:13:13 > 0:13:14Martine McCutcheon.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Like, "This is my moment."
0:13:18 > 0:13:22All eyes are on me and everyone's like, "Wow."
0:13:22 > 0:13:24WHOOPING
0:13:25 > 0:13:28"Who is that?
0:13:29 > 0:13:31"Who is that with the lips of Scarlett Johansson,
0:13:31 > 0:13:34"but the wit and brains of Stephen Fry?
0:13:36 > 0:13:39"God...I bet she does charity work."
0:13:41 > 0:13:42I'm all right.
0:13:44 > 0:13:45I've got that vibe.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48WHOOPING
0:13:50 > 0:13:54# Girl, you got it
0:14:01 > 0:14:03# You, you, you, you
0:14:03 > 0:14:05# Ooh, stop the press
0:14:05 > 0:14:09# Girl, you turn me on
0:14:09 > 0:14:14# And I wonder if I can take you home
0:14:14 > 0:14:17# I must confess
0:14:17 > 0:14:20# The tight miniskirts you wear
0:14:20 > 0:14:22# I just can't help it, baby
0:14:22 > 0:14:25# I can't help but stare
0:14:25 > 0:14:31# Tell that DJ, "Pump it up a little more"
0:14:31 > 0:14:33# Hey, girl, I gotta let you know
0:14:33 > 0:14:40# You
0:14:40 > 0:14:43# Got that vibe
0:14:43 > 0:14:47- # Girl, you got that... - You got that vibe
0:14:47 > 0:14:50# You got that vibe
0:14:50 > 0:14:58# You got that vi... Bu-bu-bu Bu-bu-bu, bu-bu-bu... Vibe. #
0:14:58 > 0:15:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:04 > 0:15:07This is what a night out will do for you.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11All right? This is why we need it.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13We deserve this,
0:15:13 > 0:15:17when it's all borders and billionaire presidents
0:15:17 > 0:15:21and benefit caps, because that shit is easy to say
0:15:21 > 0:15:24when you've never been on the other side.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27But here, there are no sides.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32You can Come As You Are, as the great man said.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Open your hearts, my isla bonitas.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38Come and be fleetingly brave with me.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Excusez-moi, petit pois.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44You've not waded through the week for nothing.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47You know, come and get something off your chest.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Loosen your belts. We'll listen
0:15:50 > 0:15:52and then we'll move on.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53That is the way it is in here.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Hi. Erm, you know what, no-one is in charge.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02And memo - no-one is better than anybody else.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04All right? Not on my watch.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11I look like fucking Bergerac in this.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Lowri!
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Yeah.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17- Can I...?- We're alive!
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Don't miss it.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Free yourself from the corporate shackles.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Ye...yeah...
0:16:28 > 0:16:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:30 > 0:16:31Oh, my God!
0:16:34 > 0:16:36- You're welcome.- Oh, my God.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Fucking hell. We're crossing the Rubicon now.
0:16:43 > 0:16:44There's no coming back from that.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47Once someone's adios-ed someone else's device,
0:16:47 > 0:16:49oh-ho, strap on, my friends,
0:16:49 > 0:16:51we're in the big time.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52THEY SING
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Right, I'll get the cards in for Braveheart over there.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Stop her falling off the horse too soon.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00I tell you what. This is nothing
0:17:00 > 0:17:04that 15 bags of cheesy puffs and some dry-roasted won't sort out.
0:17:04 > 0:17:0615 bags of cheesy puffs...
0:17:06 > 0:17:09How are you all doing? Are you all all right? Everyone?
0:17:09 > 0:17:11- AUDIENCE:- Yeah!- Feeling good? Good!
0:17:11 > 0:17:12CHEERING
0:17:12 > 0:17:14I think we're all right. I think we're on track.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Well, This Disco's Making Me Political
0:17:16 > 0:17:19has certainly come into her own, hasn't she?
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Do you know what? I'm going to do it.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Fucking creamy curdler...
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Disgusting. CHEERING
0:17:28 > 0:17:30I am getting shots, OK?
0:17:32 > 0:17:33Hmm.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36The colour of tights!
0:17:43 > 0:17:45It's great.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Hey, Sara, what are you doing Wednesday?
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Hey-up, Braveheart's had her Filofax out.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Thank you.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57It's just me and Sam from Accounts
0:17:57 > 0:18:01- found these 40-quid day returns.- Oh! Me likey the pricey.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- To Stuttgart.- 40 squids to Stuttgart?!
0:18:06 > 0:18:07Don't mind if I diddly-do.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12We've just got to be at East Anglia Airport
0:18:12 > 0:18:14at 4.30am on Wednesday.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Are you off your chump?
0:18:19 > 0:18:22- 4.30.- Sit down, Fraulein, I think you need to line your stomach.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Come on. Let's break bread, my brother.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30Let the portable cheese board work its magique!
0:18:30 > 0:18:33This is like me on the Night of the Three Wines.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35You should have seen me then. God!
0:18:39 > 0:18:40Ah...
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Listen...
0:18:44 > 0:18:46..if you think this is mad,
0:18:46 > 0:18:48check this.
0:18:48 > 0:18:49Here, pass me that mic.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51OK.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
0:18:54 > 0:18:56So, I went out this one night, right?
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Not with these guys. I have got other mates.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01And I only had three small wines.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03I know what you're thinking - me, yes - but I did.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04Just three small wines.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07And I don't know what happened, right, but I'm on the floor.
0:19:07 > 0:19:08Sparko!
0:19:08 > 0:19:09Next thing I know,
0:19:09 > 0:19:11I'm sat on the wet kerb outside.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13I'm like bloody Tiny Tim.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Or whatever his name is. You know, don't you? Kermit's son.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17Yeah. Right.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20So the arse on my new blue dress is absolutely soaking,
0:19:20 > 0:19:22then I'm in a taxi, right?
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Giving the taxi driver some solid-gold material, no doubt.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27What am I like?
0:19:27 > 0:19:31I would say a heady mix of Michael McIntyre
0:19:31 > 0:19:33and Bradley Walsh.
0:19:35 > 0:19:36Uh...so where was I?
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Wines, toilet, taxi.
0:19:38 > 0:19:39Yes.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41So, gets to the old homestead.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44My chin's resting on the door knocker
0:19:44 > 0:19:47of 37 Elcott Street, Mum opens the door,
0:19:47 > 0:19:50I fall through like Del Boy in that classic ep of Only Fools,
0:19:50 > 0:19:53and the next day Mum's like, "Oh, I thought you'd been raped."
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Then Mum's taking me upstairs, she's getting me undressed,
0:19:56 > 0:19:57I'm being sick in her toilet, right?
0:19:57 > 0:20:00I'm about as useful as a turd in a kitchen at this point.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Mum's holding my hair back,
0:20:02 > 0:20:05my new blue dress is crumpled in the corner, it's covered in sick
0:20:05 > 0:20:09and I'm like, "Oh, I'm sorry." And she's like, "Oh, it's fine."
0:20:09 > 0:20:10She's probably cracking up.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12And then Mum puts me to bed on the sofa, right?
0:20:12 > 0:20:16I wake up, I'm drenched in sweat and shame
0:20:16 > 0:20:20and... No, don't worry. The sofa's wipe-clean. It's fine.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Anyway, the house phone's ringing, right?
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Now, I look at the clock on the wall
0:20:25 > 0:20:27and I can't even see what time it is
0:20:27 > 0:20:29because my eyeballs are quivering.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31It was mental.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34And I pick up the house phone, and it's Grandad. What's he like?!
0:20:34 > 0:20:37And Grandad's like, "Oh, your grandma's really poorly.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39"She needs to go to hospital."
0:20:39 > 0:20:41But because of the old eyeball thing,
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I can't help, so...
0:20:45 > 0:20:48I mean, you know, she didn't come out of hospital again, but...
0:20:50 > 0:20:52What am I like?
0:20:57 > 0:20:58Uh...
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Is this on?
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Right, you probably know this,
0:21:04 > 0:21:07but if you really need to fire a rocket up the arse of a night,
0:21:07 > 0:21:10you need shots. Or say somebody's bought you a drink
0:21:10 > 0:21:12that tastes like skid marks? Shots!
0:21:12 > 0:21:15Or some preacher has baptised your phone?
0:21:15 > 0:21:16Shots!
0:21:18 > 0:21:19- Hey, Sara!- Yes?
0:21:19 > 0:21:21You only got one shot.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24- BOTH:- Do not miss your chance to blow! Whoo!
0:21:24 > 0:21:28- Mmm!- Leonie?- Yeah?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30- BOTH:- # Shot through the heart. #
0:21:30 > 0:21:31Right.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35- So, as the other great man once said...- If I've got to be damned...
0:21:35 > 0:21:37And you know I am going to be damned.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Then I want to be damned with you.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41- ALL:- Cheers!
0:21:43 > 0:21:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:46 > 0:21:47- Ah!- Hah!
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Hey, DJ No Requests, got any Meatloaf?
0:21:53 > 0:21:55MUSIC: Alright by Supergrass
0:21:55 > 0:21:56No way!
0:21:58 > 0:22:01# We are young, we run green
0:22:01 > 0:22:05# Keep our teeth nice and clean
0:22:05 > 0:22:07# See our friends, see the sights
0:22:07 > 0:22:10# Feel all right
0:22:11 > 0:22:14# We wake up... #
0:22:14 > 0:22:16It's all heating up in here. It's getting a bit spicy now.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Those that have got the money have got the rounds.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Card machine's not working but don't worry.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24Let's Walk It's Not Far knows where the nearest cashpoint is.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Charlie Chuck-up's feeling a bit peaky.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29Things are cranking up to gas mark 7.
0:22:33 > 0:22:34Hey! Hello.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36My hair!
0:22:46 > 0:22:47- One?- Yay!
0:22:49 > 0:22:50- One for you.- Whoo!
0:22:51 > 0:22:53- ALL:- Cheers!
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Come with me. I've got an idea.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00This'll be hilarious.
0:23:00 > 0:23:01Come here, right?
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Wait there. Wait there, it fucking stinks in here.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Lowri!
0:23:10 > 0:23:11Hey! Whoo!
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Here you are. Look at this.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Wey-hey!
0:23:15 > 0:23:16It's magic.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19LOWRI SHRIEKS
0:23:23 > 0:23:24Hey!
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Wah!
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Hey!
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Oh!
0:23:31 > 0:23:33SHE GIGGLES
0:23:35 > 0:23:38It's the first time your eyes are...
0:23:38 > 0:23:39Take a picture!
0:23:42 > 0:23:43Say cheese!
0:23:43 > 0:23:46THEY CHEER
0:23:47 > 0:23:48Oh, it's nice.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Do you want a shot?
0:23:53 > 0:23:54Do you want that? Yeah, go on.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Waste shot, want shot, I always say.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01So, at this point, when things have started to go a little bit west,
0:24:01 > 0:24:04when maybe your phone that you loved has drowned,
0:24:04 > 0:24:06maybe your zip's broken
0:24:06 > 0:24:09or your contouring is starting to slightly slip,
0:24:09 > 0:24:12what I like to do is really bond with some complete strangers.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Yeah? Just get a bit of love from the room, OK?
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Excuse me. Can I just back in...?
0:24:17 > 0:24:19There you go.
0:24:19 > 0:24:20Thank you.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Ah...
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Hi, Pervs.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29How are you doing? Are you all right? Yeah? Good. Good.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Now, I've been meaning to ask you, actually,
0:24:32 > 0:24:35what is that cologne that you're wearing? Can I smell?
0:24:37 > 0:24:38Ooh. Pepper spray?
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Nice. Nice.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Go on, have a drink. Have a drink, go on.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46I don't take no for an answer.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Yeah? Well, sometimes...
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Sometimes I take no for an answer, but you know what it's like!
0:24:51 > 0:24:55You've got to be all, like, hard and fierce and lacquered
0:24:55 > 0:24:58and call everyone bitches all the time and...and...
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Listen. Remember.
0:25:00 > 0:25:05Um, you don't need anyone else to validate you. Yeah?
0:25:05 > 0:25:06LAUGHTER
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Although, that is quite tricky
0:25:08 > 0:25:12if you can't quite validate yourself, isn't it? It's just...
0:25:12 > 0:25:13It's a bit snide, so...
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Cos then, how am I supposed to know that I'm good enough,
0:25:16 > 0:25:17do you know what I mean?
0:25:17 > 0:25:20And I know what it sounds like - blah-blah-blah -
0:25:20 > 0:25:24but that I'm thin enough and pretty enough and...and...
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Oh, hi, Sam. Are you all right?
0:25:26 > 0:25:30And don't tell me like, "Come on, it's just a conspiracy
0:25:30 > 0:25:33"by the capitalist patriarchy to get you to buy stuff."
0:25:33 > 0:25:34I know that.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39I've got the Boots Advantage Card points to prove it, mate.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Look at that Glitterball go.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Hey, looks shiny, but basically...
0:25:44 > 0:25:46just a load of broken glass!
0:25:47 > 0:25:50Sometimes, right, when I'm out, I'll be on the dance floor
0:25:50 > 0:25:52and I'll be, like, six Jagerbombs in.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54All right, 12 Jagerbombs in...
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Just through peer pressure, honest.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02And I'll be REALLY going for it, like... I'll show you, like this.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08THEY WHOOP
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Yeah, I know, but this isn't even it.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16When I can do it, I can REALLY do it, like this isn't...
0:26:16 > 0:26:17This is not even the thing.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19And I'll be really going for it and I feel amazing,
0:26:19 > 0:26:24I feel like I'm like Rihanna's better, more sexually aware sister.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29And then there's this guy on the other side of the room,
0:26:29 > 0:26:30and he's like...
0:26:35 > 0:26:37LAUGHTER
0:26:42 > 0:26:46And in that moment, with the gaze of a total stranger alighting
0:26:46 > 0:26:49gently, like a butterfly, on my grinding arse...
0:26:52 > 0:26:54..in that moment, I feel like I'm all right.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58And I'm thin enough and pretty enough, and...
0:26:59 > 0:27:02It doesn't matter what happens next.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05If in three years' time we're moving into a lovely two-up,
0:27:05 > 0:27:08two-down decorated floor-to-ceiling in Cath Kidston,
0:27:08 > 0:27:10or if in four hours' time,
0:27:10 > 0:27:13we're back at his and he's wanking on my back, because it's not about...
0:27:14 > 0:27:15It's not about that.
0:27:17 > 0:27:18It's about THIS.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23WHOOPING
0:27:32 > 0:27:33LAUGHTER
0:27:36 > 0:27:37And I feel like I'm all right.
0:27:39 > 0:27:40And I'm enough.
0:27:42 > 0:27:43And I've got that vibe.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50And I can't help but wonder if that might make me a massive twat.
0:27:51 > 0:27:55No, mate - you go, girlfriend!
0:27:55 > 0:27:57- Ah!- Oh, shit! Sorry, are you all right?
0:27:57 > 0:27:58- Yeah, I'm fine!- Oh!
0:28:00 > 0:28:02LAUGHTER
0:28:02 > 0:28:05What? No, it didn't even hurt, I promise. Stop fussing me.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08- Just sit down! Tell you what, sit down.- Are you all right?
0:28:08 > 0:28:10I'm absolutely fine!
0:28:12 > 0:28:15What? It's no biggie, this. It's not even a problem. Sit down, I'm fine.
0:28:15 > 0:28:19Really. I'm fine. Do you know what? I've never been so fine, right?
0:28:19 > 0:28:22And you know what? I think the time has come. All right?
0:28:22 > 0:28:26We are going to take this outside.
0:28:26 > 0:28:31Yeah? And before you say it, this isn't another mad plan, all right?
0:28:31 > 0:28:33I am deadly serious.
0:28:33 > 0:28:37OK? It's one giant leap for mankind.
0:28:37 > 0:28:41But only a 15-minute walk to Manchester Town Hall.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46And I've got my bolt cutters.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48CHEERING
0:28:48 > 0:28:52We are going to occupy the council offices. Yeah?
0:28:52 > 0:28:56Start the revolution, Peterloo II.
0:28:58 > 0:29:02When the people wake up, this city will be free. Yeah?
0:29:02 > 0:29:06And then we storm every bus and train out of here -
0:29:06 > 0:29:08they start running again at six.
0:29:09 > 0:29:13And there's more of us than there is of Richard Branson.
0:29:13 > 0:29:15And then we sort it out.
0:29:15 > 0:29:17We sort it all out.
0:29:18 > 0:29:20Who's with me?
0:29:22 > 0:29:24LAUGHTER
0:29:26 > 0:29:29I think someone's been watching Les Mis again.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33I can't do this on my own.
0:29:35 > 0:29:37I think you might have to, mate.
0:29:42 > 0:29:44# Atomic
0:29:44 > 0:29:46# Atomic
0:29:46 > 0:29:48# Atomic... #
0:29:48 > 0:29:49- ALL:- Tune!
0:29:49 > 0:29:52THEY WHOOP
0:29:52 > 0:29:55- Come on! We love this one! - We love this one!- Hey!
0:29:55 > 0:29:58We're mad. We're all fuckin' mad. This is a mad night out!
0:29:58 > 0:30:01#HavingIt, #LovingIt, #BestNightEver!
0:30:01 > 0:30:03#GetOffMe!
0:30:03 > 0:30:05#EpicFail
0:30:05 > 0:30:08#Banter! #BanthonyHWilson!
0:30:08 > 0:30:10#24hourPartyPeople!
0:30:10 > 0:30:14You've got that vibe, she's got that vibe, we've got that vibe!
0:30:14 > 0:30:16#NotBeingFunnyBut...
0:30:16 > 0:30:18#GenerationWhyBother
0:30:18 > 0:30:20#TheCrisis
0:30:20 > 0:30:23Slow-mo...
0:30:23 > 0:30:24MUSIC BUILDS
0:30:27 > 0:30:29SHE SHOUTS OUT, THEY WHOOP
0:30:29 > 0:30:31#AbsoluteMash-head
0:30:31 > 0:30:33#SolidGoldMaterial
0:30:33 > 0:30:34#TinyTim
0:30:34 > 0:30:36#Besties
0:30:36 > 0:30:37#SaturdayNightsAllRight
0:30:37 > 0:30:39#ThighGap
0:30:39 > 0:30:40#PayGap
0:30:40 > 0:30:42#LetMeGetThatForYou
0:30:42 > 0:30:44#LookingOutForNumberOne
0:30:44 > 0:30:48One wine, two wines, three wines, floor!
0:30:48 > 0:30:49#MurderOnTheDancefloor
0:30:49 > 0:30:52#Massacres, #FakeNews...
0:30:52 > 0:30:55#FakeTan, #NoMakeupSelfie
0:30:55 > 0:30:57#SexKitten!
0:30:57 > 0:30:58#SexPest
0:30:58 > 0:30:59#E-petition
0:30:59 > 0:31:01#FuckThis
0:31:01 > 0:31:03I've had enough.
0:31:03 > 0:31:06- I'm so secure! - Security to the dance floor!
0:31:06 > 0:31:07MUSIC STOPS
0:31:22 > 0:31:24GROANS AND LAUGHTER
0:31:26 > 0:31:27I am all right!
0:31:29 > 0:31:32I've never been so all right.
0:31:32 > 0:31:33Hey, come on!
0:31:33 > 0:31:37# Round, round, get around I get around, yeah... #
0:31:37 > 0:31:39THEY WHOOP
0:31:40 > 0:31:42Open or closed? Anyone open?
0:31:42 > 0:31:44Open!
0:31:44 > 0:31:47Mmm! Open or closed?
0:31:47 > 0:31:48Open or closed, anyone?
0:31:48 > 0:31:50Anyone still open?
0:31:51 > 0:31:53- So, Hugh.- Yeah?
0:31:53 > 0:31:56You know the drinking game is the bit that we always do together?
0:31:56 > 0:32:00- Come hell or high water, yeah? - Yeah.- Well...
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Not sure that's completely going to plan.
0:32:02 > 0:32:05Whoa, where's Lowri?
0:32:05 > 0:32:07Whoa! She's disappearing now.
0:32:07 > 0:32:10Yeah. What happened to her?
0:32:10 > 0:32:13She's probably dead. How noble. Yeah.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16I wish we'd tried to help her more when she was just saving the world.
0:32:16 > 0:32:19They'll put on a state funeral for her now.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23Chuck us that cheese board, mate.
0:32:23 > 0:32:24I'll go.
0:32:24 > 0:32:26Yeah, ta.
0:32:26 > 0:32:27How is your phone, by the way?
0:32:27 > 0:32:30- Bit battered, but...who isn't? - Fair enough.
0:32:31 > 0:32:35What? Well, you never know what might happen to her.
0:32:35 > 0:32:39Rule number one, if you've got the money, get a round.
0:32:39 > 0:32:42You know, she might be in there on her own,
0:32:42 > 0:32:46for example, on the toilet floor, legs all wound out,
0:32:46 > 0:32:48feeling like absolute shit.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50I dunno.
0:32:52 > 0:32:53Lowri?
0:32:53 > 0:32:55SHE KNOCKS
0:32:55 > 0:32:58Come on! Open or closed?
0:32:59 > 0:33:01Open.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10I'm not Mum of the Year, am I?
0:33:11 > 0:33:15And no-one asked ME about the House of Lords.
0:33:15 > 0:33:16Who decided THAT?
0:33:17 > 0:33:19When do the decisions get made?
0:33:19 > 0:33:21The decisions that have got us into this.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23And...
0:33:23 > 0:33:27I don't understand scrabbling over people to get to
0:33:27 > 0:33:30a cashpoint to get to an overdraft.
0:33:30 > 0:33:31Who decided THAT?
0:33:31 > 0:33:35I don't understand the monetary fund or battery farms.
0:33:35 > 0:33:38Who decided battery farms?
0:33:38 > 0:33:43I am sick of scapegoats and underdogs and scare monkeys.
0:33:44 > 0:33:47When did we forget that we're just animals with weekends?
0:33:47 > 0:33:50So what you're seeing here is the disappearing act -
0:33:50 > 0:33:52someone or something that goes AWOL.
0:33:52 > 0:33:55Could be a purse, could be a person, but they usually turn up
0:33:55 > 0:33:59a little bit later on, a bit worse for wear, definitely in the toilets.
0:34:00 > 0:34:04I thought that tonight would make us all right.
0:34:05 > 0:34:07And I don't think it has.
0:34:11 > 0:34:15How can I change the world if I can't even get my shoe back on?
0:34:16 > 0:34:18Don't ask me.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20Listen, I went out this one night,
0:34:20 > 0:34:23ruined this perfectly good new dress.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25Totally fucked it up.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28The blue dress?
0:34:28 > 0:34:29Yeah.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32You'd fuck the dress up, too.
0:34:33 > 0:34:35Is this the one about the Night of the Three Wines?
0:34:36 > 0:34:37I love this one.
0:34:39 > 0:34:40Lowri?
0:34:43 > 0:34:45I don't know if it WAS three wines.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48I mean, it might have been.
0:34:48 > 0:34:50But... It might have been 12, or...
0:34:51 > 0:34:53It might have been one.
0:34:54 > 0:34:56Don't know what happened.
0:34:56 > 0:34:58Yeah.
0:34:58 > 0:35:00Don't know if my mum WAS cracking up.
0:35:01 > 0:35:03I was useless, I was no help to anyone.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08And when I think of it now, it's weird, it makes me feel...
0:35:09 > 0:35:11..sad.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16Have you ever had quivering eyeballs?
0:35:17 > 0:35:18No.
0:35:20 > 0:35:21I don't think I have.
0:35:25 > 0:35:30Oi, dickheads! What you doing? Are you all right? Hey, what's going on?
0:35:30 > 0:35:32- Everything's still shit. - Still shit.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35Oh! Look, it's all right.
0:35:36 > 0:35:40If this needs to happen, it's going to happen now.
0:35:40 > 0:35:42And it should!
0:35:42 > 0:35:44Look, last week it was me in here,
0:35:44 > 0:35:47banging on about my body clock or some shit.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50The week before, someone else, can't remember,
0:35:50 > 0:35:52crying because they thought the chicken shop
0:35:52 > 0:35:55was going to close before they could get there. Like... You know.
0:35:55 > 0:35:58Actually, I think it was one of you who said, "Listen...
0:36:00 > 0:36:02.."the shit has got to hit the fan,
0:36:02 > 0:36:06"because that is what shit does, but we've got to step up,
0:36:06 > 0:36:09"wipe the fan down with a damp cloth and get the hell back out there."
0:36:09 > 0:36:10Yeah?
0:36:10 > 0:36:12That is just the way it goes.
0:36:13 > 0:36:14Lowri?
0:36:14 > 0:36:16You're all right.
0:36:17 > 0:36:19In fact, friend, you are
0:36:19 > 0:36:22relentlessly fucking brilliant.
0:36:22 > 0:36:24OK? Keep it up.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27- Cheers.- Sara? Are you all right?
0:36:28 > 0:36:31I don't know. I don't know what happened.
0:36:32 > 0:36:33I probably fucked it.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38Did I fuck it all up?
0:36:38 > 0:36:39No.
0:36:39 > 0:36:41Well...
0:36:41 > 0:36:43Dunno.
0:36:43 > 0:36:46- I doubt it.- But what if I did and I just don't know, like...?
0:36:49 > 0:36:50I suppose we've just got to try living through it
0:36:50 > 0:36:53and hope for the best, haven't we?
0:36:53 > 0:36:55But we're here, we'll help.
0:36:55 > 0:36:58Me and Che Guevara here, we've got your back.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01- Viva la revolution, Sara. - That's my girls!
0:37:01 > 0:37:05Now, listen... The night isn't over yet. We can still change it.
0:37:05 > 0:37:09AND they just called last orders, so we really need to get a move on.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11OK, so we're going to have a little once over, because, not being
0:37:11 > 0:37:15funny, but you both absolutely reek of Toilet Duck and regret, OK?
0:37:15 > 0:37:18So, you... Sort out your breath.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21You, deal with your pits, yeah?
0:37:21 > 0:37:23And let's get back to it, OK?
0:37:23 > 0:37:25And while you're doing that, actually,
0:37:25 > 0:37:28would you like just a little one more?
0:37:29 > 0:37:32- I would love one more.- Yeah?
0:37:32 > 0:37:34- In for a penny.- Yeah.- In for two.
0:37:34 > 0:37:37All right, I've got my app, OK?
0:37:37 > 0:37:40- If it still works, Lowri. - Sorry.- S'OK.
0:37:43 > 0:37:47# Baby, you're the only one in this whole world
0:37:47 > 0:37:51# That is pure and good and right
0:37:51 > 0:37:55# And wherever you are, wherever you go
0:37:55 > 0:37:58# There's always going to be some light
0:37:59 > 0:38:07# Maybe I'm damned if I never get out and maybe I'm damned if I do
0:38:07 > 0:38:10# But we've got to make the most of this one night together... #
0:38:10 > 0:38:12Leonie?
0:38:12 > 0:38:14Yeah?
0:38:14 > 0:38:15I love you.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19- I love YOU.- Sara.
0:38:19 > 0:38:22- Yeah?- I love you. - I love you.
0:38:24 > 0:38:27- I love you.- As you were!- Yeah.
0:38:27 > 0:38:29See?
0:38:29 > 0:38:30It all comes out in the wash.
0:38:31 > 0:38:35- Have I got it?- Right. Let's get back out there, guys. Yeah?
0:38:35 > 0:38:38- Yeah.- Ready? - Come on.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42- Come on!- # If I've got to be damned.... #
0:38:42 > 0:38:45WHOOPING
0:38:49 > 0:38:53# You know I want to be damned... #
0:38:53 > 0:38:55Everybody, join in.
0:38:55 > 0:38:59# If I've got to be damned, you know I want to be damned
0:38:59 > 0:39:02# Dancing through the night
0:39:02 > 0:39:05# Dancing through the night
0:39:05 > 0:39:08# Dancing through the night
0:39:08 > 0:39:16# With you...
0:39:18 > 0:39:22MEATLOAF: # Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes
0:39:24 > 0:39:26# When the night is over
0:39:26 > 0:39:29# like a bat out of hell I'll be gone, gone, gone... #
0:39:29 > 0:39:31Oh, hey -
0:39:31 > 0:39:34all that stuff before about "this the best bit", no.
0:39:34 > 0:39:36This is the best bit... Well,
0:39:36 > 0:39:40- THIS is the best bit!- Everybody is absolutely loving it back there!
0:39:40 > 0:39:43Mr T from school is requesting Toploader
0:39:43 > 0:39:48and Hugh Watt has got no idea what's going on, but absolutely loving it!
0:39:48 > 0:39:51I think I saw Charlie Chuck-up attempting a moonwalk!
0:39:51 > 0:39:53Everyone's up, everyone's together.
0:39:53 > 0:39:54Dividing lines have been forgotten,
0:39:54 > 0:39:58no-one even remembers if they're City or United any more.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00I think this might be what the future looks like.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02Yeah, we have had a massive night.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04Everything that was supposed to happen has happened.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07- And everyone is in love with everybody else.- Yeah.
0:40:07 > 0:40:11And we followed the rules! I would never normally advise that!
0:40:12 > 0:40:15Maybe they could be the founding principles for revolution?
0:40:16 > 0:40:19If you've got the money, get a round, in for a penny,
0:40:19 > 0:40:22in for a pound AND it all comes out in the wash.
0:40:22 > 0:40:24I will sign on that line.
0:40:24 > 0:40:27I think tonight could be bigger than the night we flew to Dignitas
0:40:27 > 0:40:29AND the night Dr Oetker got struck off.
0:40:29 > 0:40:34I think tonight is going to make a cheeky little appendix to the old Banterbury Tales.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37- Thank you for being with us!- This one's for you.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39- Cheers.- Right, then...?
0:40:40 > 0:40:43- Emphatic Huggers.- That's everyone...
0:40:43 > 0:40:45CHEERING
0:40:45 > 0:40:49- The time has come.- You didn't think we'd forgotten you, did you?
0:40:49 > 0:40:53- TRIO:- Manchester, open or closed?
0:40:53 > 0:40:55- ALL:- Open!
0:40:55 > 0:40:57CHEERING
0:40:57 > 0:41:00MUSIC: Bat Out Of Hell by Meatloaf
0:41:04 > 0:41:09# When the night is over, like a bat out of hell I'll be gone, gone, gone
0:41:09 > 0:41:14# Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes
0:41:15 > 0:41:17# When the day is done
0:41:17 > 0:41:21# And the sun goes down and the moonlight's shining through
0:41:23 > 0:41:29# Then like a sinner before the gates of Heaven
0:41:29 > 0:41:34# I'll come crawling on back to you
0:41:41 > 0:41:43# I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering ram
0:41:43 > 0:41:46# On a silver-black phantom bike
0:41:46 > 0:41:49# When the metal is hot and the engine is hungry
0:41:49 > 0:41:51# And we're all about to see the light... #