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0:00:18 > 0:00:20- This porridge is lumpy.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23- Don't look at me, I'm not a cook.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25- Where's the bread?
0:00:25 > 0:00:29- There's none left. - Why do you think I'm making this?
0:00:29 > 0:00:33- Kath, you're good - at making porridge, aren't you?
0:00:33 > 0:00:36- Hey, somebody - broke into the surgery last night.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38- What? Why?
0:00:38 > 0:00:40- What? Why?- - Probably looking for drugs.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43- There's a heck of a mess.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46- Glass and police everywhere.
0:00:46 > 0:00:47- Glass and police everywhere.- - You?
0:00:51 > 0:00:54- Oh! It's stuck to the pan now!
0:00:54 > 0:00:56- Oh! It's stuck to the pan now!- - Be quiet, will you.
0:00:56 > 0:00:57- I can't hear myself think.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59- I can't hear myself think.- - Stop thinking then.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02- I've had enough of her cheek, Mark.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- Mark's been talking about you - like you're some legend.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10- But you're nothing more - than a bitter old witch.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13- What did you say?
0:01:14 > 0:01:15- Sorry.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17- What's happened?
0:01:18 > 0:01:19- She burnt me.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22- It was an accident. - I wouldn't do it on purpose.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25- Right, enough. - You can't carry on like this.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27- We all need to calm down.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29- This is all getting out of control.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32- I can't deal with this - on my own any more.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34- Deal with what?
0:01:34 > 0:01:35- Deal with what?- - Nothing.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36- I'm sorry, Kath.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39- Kath's not well.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41- She's a drug addict.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44- No, I'm not.
0:01:44 > 0:01:45- Mam?
0:01:45 > 0:01:47- Mam?- - She's lying.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49- Why would I? Don't be a fool, Mark.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52- You're not going to believe her - over your mother?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55- If it's not true, - why are you shaking?
0:01:56 > 0:01:57- I'm not.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59- I'm not.- - I recognize the signs, Mam.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01- I'm in pain.
0:02:01 > 0:02:02- I'm in pain.- - We should see a doctor now.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05- You won't get away with this.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07- Where are you going?
0:02:07 > 0:02:09- Where are you going?- - It's for your own good.
0:02:13 > 0:02:14- What's going on, Mam?
0:02:15 > 0:02:17- What's happened to you?
0:02:24 > 0:02:26- Before you start, - I'm not going to school today.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28- Is there a reason?
0:02:29 > 0:02:30- I can't be bothered.
0:02:30 > 0:02:31- I can't be bothered.- - That's not a reason.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33- You can't force me.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- What's wrong, Rick? - You've been quiet for days.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40- I'm fine.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42- What were you hiding just now?
0:02:42 > 0:02:43- What were you hiding just now?- - Nothing.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48- I'll sit here until you leave - and you won't be able to hide it.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50- Fine.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01- Why haven't you opened it?
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- It's a St Dwynwen's Day card.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05- What's wrong with that?
0:03:05 > 0:03:07- What's wrong with that?- - It's not going to be from Courtney.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09- I'm scared, Mam.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13- What are you doing?
0:03:16 > 0:03:18- I was trying to cheer you up.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20- Sorry.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23- I should have guessed.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- You send one every year.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- I still post one to Liam too.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32- I miss her, Mam.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34- I know, love.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38- I want to go the cemetery, but...
0:03:38 > 0:03:39- Do you want me to come with you?
0:03:39 > 0:03:41- Do you want me to come with you?- - Only if you've got time.
0:03:42 > 0:03:43- I'm not scared of going on my own.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45- I'm not scared of going on my own.- - I know that.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47- I'd like to, - if that's OK with you.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59- You have to talk to me eventually - because I'm not going anywhere.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02- I just want to know - what's going on.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- What have you been taking?
0:04:07 > 0:04:08- Tablets? Cocaine? What?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- Prescription pills.
0:04:16 > 0:04:17- Not mine.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21- And you've been taking them - for a while.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24- Why couldn't I see - what was happening under my nose?
0:04:24 > 0:04:26- It's not your fault.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- I've made a mess of things again.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34- I've been so lonely.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38- Drugs were the only thing - keeping me going.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45- I'm here for you, Mam, always.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48- The Jones family against the world.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50- The Jones family against the world.- - But are we?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54- I haven't felt like that for years.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- You've got your own family - and I'm happy for you...
0:04:59 > 0:05:01- ..but I don't know - where that leaves me.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07- I'm on my own and I'm afraid.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13- I'm nervous. Is that odd?
0:05:13 > 0:05:14- No, love.
0:05:16 > 0:05:17- Debs.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19- What's happened to you?
0:05:19 > 0:05:21- What's happened to you?- - A little accident with the porridge.
0:05:21 > 0:05:26- Kath pushed me and, no offence, - Ricky, I know she's your gran...
0:05:26 > 0:05:29- ..but she's horrible.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- She's having a few problems - with drugs.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- Only prescription ones.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37- There's no only about it.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39- I tried helping her...
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- ..but when it got out of hand, - I had to tell Mark.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44- Where are they now?
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- The house. She seems a bit upset. - Perhaps you should go round.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50- You go. I'll be alright.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52- Ricky...
0:05:52 > 0:05:56- They can wait. I've got something - more important to do.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00- I'm fine, thanks.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03- We need something strong. Cafe?
0:06:04 > 0:06:06- Anything to numb the pain, - I suppose.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- Deri.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19- I don't think they're open.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- I don't think they're open.- - Leave it to Gu.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- Alright, love? - Pint of lager, please.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29- Sorry, we only serve coffee - at this time of day.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- OK then. Coffee.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- "I'll phone you - to arrange our next date."
0:06:35 > 0:06:38- Remember when - we got kicked off the train...
0:06:38 > 0:06:43- ..after Dad said Stacey and I were - under ten to get cheap tickets?
0:06:44 > 0:06:47- It worked a treat - until you opened your mouth.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- We were stuck in Pontypool - for hours.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54- Dyff found a way home though.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59- I think a lot about those days.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04- I think that was...
0:07:06 > 0:07:08- ..the last time I was truly happy.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11- What about Johnny?
0:07:11 > 0:07:12- You were happy with him.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- Yes, I laughed a lot with Johnny - and had a good time...
0:07:20 > 0:07:22- ..but us Joneses were a team.
0:07:24 > 0:07:29- I knew who I was - and I liked who I was.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31- And now?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Since losing lost Dyff, I feel...
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- ..that I've slowly lost myself.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41- I try my best.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- I move from place to place, - just hoping...
0:07:47 > 0:07:48- ..something...
0:07:50 > 0:07:52- ..or somebody will come...
0:07:54 > 0:07:56- ..to fill the gap he left behind.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01- But nothing fits.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06- Mam...
0:08:07 > 0:08:10- ..there'll always be - a place for you here.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12- This is your house, remember.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- I wish things were that simple.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18- All I can see now - is an old woman.
0:08:19 > 0:08:20- A pathetic addict.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25- All I can see is my mother.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29- Kath Jones, - the woman nobody crosses.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34- I'm afraid that woman - disappeared years ago.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40- What is it with you and Kath? - You always stick up for her.
0:08:40 > 0:08:45- The Gu I know would have told us - about Kath's little drugs problem.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- Don't be naive, Vicks.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50- Drugs is never a little problem.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55- You come back to Ponty with me, - girl, then you'll realize.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58- I've seen good people die - of their addictions.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00- That's why you hid her problem?
0:09:01 > 0:09:02- I didn't hide it.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06- I was just determined - to save Kath...
0:09:09 > 0:09:11- ..because I failed Kirsty.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15- Kirsty, your best friend?
0:09:16 > 0:09:17- What happened?
0:09:19 > 0:09:21- She died.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25- I wouldn't be able - to live with myself...
0:09:26 > 0:09:28- ..if I let the same thing - happen again.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50- Mam, when I got - that St Dwynwen's card...
0:09:50 > 0:09:52- ..I was afraid to open it...
0:09:53 > 0:09:56- ..in case I was happy - with whoever sent it.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- I'm not supposed - to think like that.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03- Of course you are. It'll never - change what you and Courtney had.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07- But if I move on, - aren't I letting her down?
0:10:08 > 0:10:09- What? Of course you're not.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- I don't want to do that - or let Jim down either.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14- He needs me.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19- You're not letting anybody down, - do you hear?
0:10:19 > 0:10:22- We're all so proud of you.
0:10:22 > 0:10:23- Come here.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29- .
0:10:34 > 0:10:34- Subtitles
0:10:34 > 0:10:36- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:10:38 > 0:10:40- I should never have come back here.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44- Life was a lot easier - out of your way.
0:10:44 > 0:10:50- I could at least take the tablets - without having to feel anything.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52- What is there for me here?
0:10:52 > 0:10:53- Me?
0:10:53 > 0:10:56- Ricky? A roof over your head?
0:10:57 > 0:10:59- Why isn't that enough for you, Mam?
0:10:59 > 0:11:03- I miss Dad too. You're not - the only one who's suffered.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- Nobody's suffered as much as I have - over the years.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10- You're not welcome here.
0:11:10 > 0:11:15- If life here is so hard, - just go, get out of my sight.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17- No, Mark, no.
0:11:18 > 0:11:19- We deserve better.
0:11:19 > 0:11:20- We deserve better.- - Of course you do.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- Of course you do, - and I promise I will get better.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26- Mark, please, I'm begging you.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29- Please don't turn your back on me, - I can't go back to that life.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- You have to make a choice. - Drugs or us.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34- I choose you.
0:11:35 > 0:11:36- I choose you.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- Please, Mark, help me.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41- Please, I'm begging you.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46- I'm doing better already, - Dol's been helping me.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- Dol knew about this before today?
0:11:51 > 0:11:52- Yes.
0:11:52 > 0:11:53- She's helped me.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56- I used to take loads every day.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00- And now Dol's helped me - get it down to one a day.
0:12:00 > 0:12:05- And now she thinks - I can stop taking them completely.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07- Is she blackmailing you?
0:12:08 > 0:12:11- Dol doesn't do anything unless - there's something in it for her.
0:12:12 > 0:12:13- She knows she can control you.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16- Making sure you won't throw her out.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19- I know Dol better than you, Mam.
0:12:19 > 0:12:20- Let me deal with this.
0:12:25 > 0:12:29- The day I left last time - was the day Kirsty died.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31- And now...
0:12:32 > 0:12:35- ..I'm scared to go back - and face things.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38- Reality is scarier - than the bailiffs.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41- Why didn't you say anything?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44- I didn't want to believe it.
0:12:46 > 0:12:47- I knew she was an addict.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50- I tried to talk to her - to make her see sense.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54- But she wouldn't listen.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56- You tried your best.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00- But it wasn't good enough.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- I should have locked her - in the house and kept her safe.
0:13:07 > 0:13:08- Saving Kath...
0:13:10 > 0:13:13- ..was my chance - to make up for failing Kirsty.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19- I hope she realizes telling Mark - was for her own good.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23- Don't be so hard on yourself. - You tried your best.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26- Mark will be really grateful.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28- I hope so.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30- I hope so.- - Of course he will.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32- You're amazing, Gu.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34- You know that, don't you?
0:13:35 > 0:13:40- I think a lot of people - would disagree with you.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42- Your mother included.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46- Maybe you haven't been - the perfect mother, but who is?
0:13:47 > 0:13:48- Mam wasn't.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52- You can't do this. - You've misunderstood.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- You said she gave you - an extra tablet the other day.
0:13:56 > 0:13:57- She doesn't know what she's doing.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58- She doesn't know what she's doing.- - She's trying to help.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00- Let her explain.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03- No. You won't get better - while she's here.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07- What if you persuade her to give you - more tablets? It won't work.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10- Is it alright for us to come in?
0:14:10 > 0:14:13- Yes, but just to get your stuff. - I want you out of here.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14- What?
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- You should have told me - about Mam weeks ago.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19- You could have killed her.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22- I was doing my best - to get her off them.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24- You're not a doctor.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27- She's the junkie and she should go.
0:14:27 > 0:14:28- She's the junkie and she should go.- - Mam stays. She comes first.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31- I'm going to phone Mam. - She won't let you do this.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34- No, Vicky. It's OK.
0:14:36 > 0:14:37- I understand.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40- If leaving - will make you better...
0:14:41 > 0:14:42- ..I'll go.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- I hope you're happy.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47- I've tried to tell him.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49- I've tried to tell him.- - Not hard enough.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52- Thanks to you - and the mess you've created...
0:14:53 > 0:14:55- ..I'm going to lose my grandmother.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02- I'm so proud of you.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05- How did I of all people - have such a mature son?
0:15:06 > 0:15:09- I just do the opposite - of everything you tell me to do!
0:15:09 > 0:15:10- Oi!
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- No. You're a better mother - than a lot of people think.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16- I'll take that as a compliment.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20- Is it OK - if I have a minute on my own?
0:15:21 > 0:15:22- Of course.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24- I'll be over there.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26- Mam?
0:15:29 > 0:15:30- Thanks.
0:15:35 > 0:15:41- I know you think only sad and soppy - people celebrate St Dwynwen's Day...
0:15:42 > 0:15:45- ..but I've brought you a card.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48- I know you'd be angry if I didn't.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53- I just want you to know - that I'm still thinking of you.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57- Jim hasn't been dealing - with things very well...
0:15:57 > 0:16:01- ..but I'm trying to stay strong - for both of us.
0:16:01 > 0:16:02- I'll look after him.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05- He'll be alright, I promise.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10- Maybe I won't be back here - for a while now.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13- This place is a bit creepy.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15- But anyway, I don't need to...
0:16:16 > 0:16:20- I don't need to see your grave - to remember you or think about you.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25- Whether I move on or not...
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- ..I'll never forget you.
0:16:48 > 0:16:49- I didn't mean no harm.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52- I thought I was helping.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56- I'm sorry about this. - I just want her to get better.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58- It's OK.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02- Where will you go?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04- Ponty, of course.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06- They'll look after me, - and it's time.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- I'd like to come up...
0:17:08 > 0:17:10- ..and see everyone some time.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- Go upstairs now. I hate ta-ras.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20- What about Mam?
0:17:20 > 0:17:24- I'll pop into the cafe - on my way to the bus.
0:17:25 > 0:17:26- I'm going to miss you, Gu.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29- I'm not going forever, love.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34- And anyway, you've got a new Gu - to look after now.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39- I'm not related to her.
0:17:43 > 0:17:44- She'll come round.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50- And if you can't get better - for yourself, do it for your family.
0:17:53 > 0:17:54- Have you got enough money?
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- I've survived on less. - No, no, don't steal.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00- I'll pay it all back.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05- Good luck.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10- And the next time I'm here, I want - to see that feisty Kath I know.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12- Of course.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14- Thanks for everything, Dol.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18- Remember to keep in touch, alright? - Come here.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20- Come here. There you go.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36- I'm going to do this.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38- I promise.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24- S4C subtitles by Ericsson
0:19:24 > 0:19:24- .