0:00:02 > 0:00:04# We gotta get out of this place
0:00:04 > 0:00:07# If it's the last thing we ever do...
0:00:07 > 0:00:11# We gotta get out of this place
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Girl, there's a better life...
0:00:14 > 0:00:16# for me and you
0:00:16 > 0:00:19# We gotta get out of this place
0:00:19 > 0:00:22# If it's the last thing we ever do
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# We gotta get out of this place. #
0:00:30 > 0:00:32RADIO STATIC
0:00:32 > 0:00:36'This is the BBC on November 3rd, 1960.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40'Today, the last intake of men from all walks of life
0:00:40 > 0:00:44'and from all over the country are being taken to army camps
0:00:44 > 0:00:46'to start their National Service.
0:00:46 > 0:00:50'In the House of Commons, MPs expressed concern at the effects
0:00:50 > 0:00:55'the ending of conscription will have on our ability to protect Britain and her colonies
0:00:55 > 0:00:58'from the escalating Russian threat.'
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Thanks.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06No, thank you.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11BANGING
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Come on! Come on!
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Come on, come on, let's have you!
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Get out of the truck. Move! Come on, let's have you.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Come on! Come on, get out of the truck. Now!
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Get in line, move! Come on - out!
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Get in line!
0:01:26 > 0:01:31Get in line before I drive that bloody truck over the lot of you!
0:01:31 > 0:01:33You, put that down.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Get your hands out of your pockets
0:01:36 > 0:01:40before I tear off your arms and feed them to my dogs!
0:01:40 > 0:01:41What is your name?
0:01:41 > 0:01:45- Davies, sir. - Do not call me "sir" - I am Sergeant!
0:01:48 > 0:01:51You're a stupid Welsh man, aren't you, Davies?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Aren't you, Davies?
0:01:53 > 0:01:54Yes, Sergeant!
0:01:54 > 0:01:56How stupid?
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Very stupid!
0:01:58 > 0:02:00How stupid, Davies?
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Very stupid, Sergeant!
0:02:06 > 0:02:09I'm Sergeant Butcher.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11You sorry mob are Two Section.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14For the next eight weeks
0:02:14 > 0:02:18I am your god, and your tormentor.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22You will live to please me...
0:02:26 > 0:02:30and I am a very, very, hard man to please!
0:02:33 > 0:02:37Everything you have learned,
0:02:37 > 0:02:41all that you had, no longer exists.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46Because I am taking it away from you!
0:02:46 > 0:02:50You will start here with nothing!
0:02:56 > 0:03:00DISTANT SHOUTING: That is One Section,
0:03:00 > 0:03:03they are two weeks ahead of you.
0:03:03 > 0:03:09But because you are my section, you will be better than them.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17MUSIC: "Made You" by Adam Faith
0:03:43 > 0:03:46- Will you make me the happiest man in the world, Norah?- Jimmy?
0:03:47 > 0:03:48Say yes.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Yes!
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Only promise me something?
0:03:53 > 0:03:57I don't have to be there when you tell your parents?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Well, if they don't like it, they can go to hell
0:03:59 > 0:04:01cos you're my family now and I'm yours.
0:04:07 > 0:04:13Private Keenan, are you one of those pinko pacifist pansies?
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Yes, Sergeant.
0:04:15 > 0:04:20Wouldn't lift a finger if Wratten there was trying to violate your girlfriend?
0:04:20 > 0:04:22No, Sergeant.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25That's because you've got no backbone, Private Keenan.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28It's because I've got no girlfriend, Sergeant.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43That man, get back in line!
0:04:43 > 0:04:47- Private Davies, take charge of this section.- What?
0:04:51 > 0:04:52Move!
0:04:52 > 0:04:54SHOUTS
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Hobbs, come here!
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Come back, Hobbs, come here!
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Hobbs, stop, you git!
0:05:20 > 0:05:21I'm giving 3-1 on the beatnik.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24I'll have some of that... Five bob.
0:05:24 > 0:05:25Oi, back in line.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Jimmy!
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Private Keenan - get back here!
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Oh, no!
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Come back here! I'll kill you!
0:06:16 > 0:06:18< Guard, stop that man!
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Oh!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Well done, soldier.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32On your feet, Keenan.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47DOOR SLAMS AND LOCKS
0:06:51 > 0:06:55What you saw here today from Private Keenan was hooligan behaviour
0:06:55 > 0:06:57not the actions of a soldier.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01It will not happen again.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08It will get you or the man next to you killed.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Do not forget that.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18ELECTRIC WHIRRING
0:07:18 > 0:07:20# Shakin' all over...
0:07:26 > 0:07:30# Just the way that you say good night to me
0:07:34 > 0:07:39# Brings that feeling on inside of me... #
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Ah, bloody hell.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46# Quivers down the backbone
0:07:47 > 0:07:50# I've got the shivers down the thighbone...
0:07:50 > 0:07:54# Yeah-eah, the tremors in my backbone
0:07:55 > 0:07:59# Shakin' all over... #
0:07:59 > 0:08:01WOLF WHISTLES AND LAUGHTER
0:08:04 > 0:08:07No, I don't have anyone to take me
0:08:07 > 0:08:10to the assembly hall dance next week and yes, I understand you miss
0:08:10 > 0:08:12your wife and/or girlfriend terribly,
0:08:12 > 0:08:16and a few drinks with me would ease the pain, but I'm afraid it's not going to happen.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Any more questions? Good.
0:08:18 > 0:08:23Now, shall I tell Sergeant Butcher why you kept me talking far too long or do you open up?
0:08:47 > 0:08:51A few weeks ago the Russians dropped a 27 tonne nuclear bomb.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54It cracked windows 900 kilometres away.
0:08:54 > 0:08:58The Americans will feel they have to go one better.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Is it so funny?
0:09:05 > 0:09:11Actually, you reminded me of a joke about Yuri Gagarin.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17He writes a note to his wife, "Dear Natasha, I'm going to outer space
0:09:17 > 0:09:20"be home next Monday," and when he comes back,
0:09:20 > 0:09:24well, it was after the ticker tape parade presumably,
0:09:24 > 0:09:26he finds a note from his wife,
0:09:26 > 0:09:28"Dear Yuri, I'm in the bread queue -
0:09:28 > 0:09:31"no idea when I'll be home."
0:09:35 > 0:09:38I'm glad someone can see the funny side of the impending Armageddon.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45I saw a bomb once,
0:09:45 > 0:09:47when I was twelve years old.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51We were stationed in Cairo. Before all the business at Suez.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55The locals wanted all the Brits to get out,
0:09:55 > 0:09:57someone threw it over the wall of the compound.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04If the headache persists,
0:10:04 > 0:10:06tell the guard. I'll bring something.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09What happened?
0:10:10 > 0:10:11With the bomb?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17It killed my mother and father.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Gentlemen.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41This is your barrack room.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42You will tell those children
0:10:42 > 0:10:45that your wives have convinced you are yours,
0:10:45 > 0:10:50that this is where you became a man. You will respect this place.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53You will shine the backside of every surface,
0:10:53 > 0:10:56polish the stove until it gleams.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Do you understand?
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Yes, Sergeant!
0:11:01 > 0:11:04One step forward, any of you serve in the cadet corps,
0:11:04 > 0:11:08girl guides, boy scouts or any other such military organisation.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Private McIllvenny.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21Um, Boy's Brigade, Sergeant.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Committed to discipline, obedience
0:11:23 > 0:11:28and all intents towards true Christian manliness, Sergeant.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29Private White-Bowne.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Officer training corps, Sergeant. Eton.
0:11:32 > 0:11:33Awarded the house medal.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34Twice.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41Private Wratten.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44East End Firms, Sergeant. Mile End Division,
0:11:44 > 0:11:47serving under Generals Ronnie and Reggie Kray.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52You think you're being clever, Private Wratten?
0:11:52 > 0:11:56Awarded medals at lightweight, bantamweight and featherweight, Sergeant.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59You think there's some sort of honour among these
0:11:59 > 0:12:00knife-carrying, gutless thugs?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03They're heroes in my street, Corporal.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07They're thieves, Wratten. Just like you.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10Watch out for this one, lads.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14It says here the judge gave him a choice.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Time on D-wing or two years
0:12:16 > 0:12:19in the company of honest, decent soldiers.
0:12:21 > 0:12:26Two Section. You will unpack your bags, line up outside the mess hall
0:12:26 > 0:12:29with your eating irons in 15 minutes.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Oi, Wratten? What are you playing at?
0:12:39 > 0:12:43- You need to pack in the backchat or you'll put us all in it, my friend. - I'm no friend of yours.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45It's every man for himself in this place.
0:12:45 > 0:12:50And in that one statement Private Wratten misses the entire point of the army.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53What do we think all that business with Keenan was about?
0:12:53 > 0:12:57Why does the Sergeant have to do all that shouty, shouty all the time?
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- What's the point of that?- I'm so glad I won't be staying for long
0:13:00 > 0:13:04with you sad, sorry children, stuck in this place for two years.
0:13:04 > 0:13:05How's that then?
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Posh boy's daddy going to get him deferred, is he?
0:13:07 > 0:13:10No. I think the old man will prefer if I caught a bullet
0:13:10 > 0:13:14on the front line for Queen and Country and all that colonial guff.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18So what then? You gonna get yourself shunted over to officer training?
0:13:18 > 0:13:19No.
0:13:19 > 0:13:24I've seen quite enough of that, but I will be waving you pack of no-hopers a fond farewell,
0:13:24 > 0:13:26heading out of that gate in exactly three weeks' time.
0:13:26 > 0:13:27Yeah, right.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35Look, Norah, all I did was put some stitches in his forehead.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Nobody's telling me what's going on.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40And I've got no idea where Jimmy is now.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Private Keenan didn't tell me anything.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Well, they'd let you in to see him, wouldn't they?
0:13:46 > 0:13:48And you can ask him.
0:13:48 > 0:13:49What? No, I can't...
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Really, there are rules.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Connie!
0:13:54 > 0:13:58Ever since I can remember, I've been the one that everybody stares at.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00The darkie - from the first day of school
0:14:00 > 0:14:02to the cinema queue last night.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04And it wears you down.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09I understand that but what has this got to do with the...
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Today at ten o'clock, for the first time in my life,
0:14:12 > 0:14:14I got a chance to belong somewhere.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18Lance Corporal Hobbs asked me to marry him.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Oh, that's lovely.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24Then ten minutes later he was AWOL and facing a charge.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26For all I know I'll never see him again.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Norah.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35I need to know what's going on.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40I'm sorry, I really can't help.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Hm. I thought you were a friend.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Up...
0:14:50 > 0:14:53I could have Nurse Charles look at it for you, Captain Gulliver,
0:14:53 > 0:14:54but I don't think it's serious.
0:14:54 > 0:14:59No, um, I was actually on my way to you on another matter.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04I found these pills. I was looking for my collar studs,
0:15:04 > 0:15:10I opened one of the...for the regimental dinner last night and I tried all the drawers,
0:15:10 > 0:15:11including my wife's.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15That's where you found them, in your wife's drawers.
0:15:18 > 0:15:23Well, I can confirm what I think you already suspect, Captain Gulliver.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26This is the famous new contraceptive pill.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31You didn't discuss this with her?
0:15:31 > 0:15:36It's just so confusing, I made clear to her my wish, my need for a son.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41I mean, how could a wife do such a thing as this without...
0:15:41 > 0:15:44without at the very least consulting her husband?
0:15:44 > 0:15:47How are things in the marital bed?
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Well, since she came back from her sister's after that last
0:15:52 > 0:15:55falling out, things are a lot calmer...
0:15:57 > 0:15:59..less volatile.
0:15:59 > 0:16:04So, to that end, I know it sounds somewhat regimental,
0:16:04 > 0:16:07but we agreed to copulate on every second Friday.
0:16:10 > 0:16:16But...how many of those Fridays was a betrayal - a lie?
0:16:17 > 0:16:19What is a husband to do?
0:16:19 > 0:16:22What he must "do" -
0:16:22 > 0:16:25and do it at great length -
0:16:25 > 0:16:28is talk to his wife.
0:16:33 > 0:16:39MUSIC: "Hard Times" by Ray Charles
0:17:10 > 0:17:12What?
0:17:55 > 0:17:57KNOCK AT DOOR
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Come.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Sir, Private Keenan on a charge, sir.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06All right, bring him in.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Prisoner and escort, quick march!
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Left right, left right, left right
0:18:14 > 0:18:18left right, left right, left right, left right. Halt! Left turn.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Sir.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Well?
0:18:29 > 0:18:32I assume you know your name and rank.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Private Keenan, sir...
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Colonel... Major?
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Captain.
0:18:39 > 0:18:44Are you one of these angry young men pacifists, Keenan?
0:18:44 > 0:18:47- Doesn't mind swinging his fists about?- No, sir.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50I looked at your record. You didn't try to get deferred.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53I can't believe you didn't know your options.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Go before the conchie board, blow your little toe off, all that.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Must be my keen sense of duty, sir.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Don't push it, Keenan! You're in enough trouble already.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08What were you going to do to Lance Corporal Hobbs?
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Sgt Butcher seems to think you were going to tear his head off.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Isn't that what you want here, sir? Violent aggression?
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Directed at the enemy, not the chap next to you in the ranks!
0:19:20 > 0:19:25Lance Corporal Hobbs had, until today, an exemplary record.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29Now, moments after you arrive, you've turned him into a fugitive.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31What's this all about?
0:19:32 > 0:19:35I'd rather not say, sir. It's a personal matter.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38This is the army, Keenan.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41We don't allow personal matters, they get in the way.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50Find something useful for Private Keenan to do
0:19:50 > 0:19:53until he changes his mind about this, Sergeant.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54Anything else?
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Still one man short in two-section, sir.
0:19:56 > 0:20:02Chap called Lomax, making his way down from Glasgow on a motorbike.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Well, let's hope he has the makings of a soldier.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Get this "man" out of my office.
0:20:07 > 0:20:11Prisoner and escort, left turn!
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Quick march! Left-right, left-right,
0:20:14 > 0:20:16left-right, left-right, left-right...
0:20:17 > 0:20:21Put a call through for me through to my wife, would you, Henson?
0:20:21 > 0:20:22'Yes, sir. Right away, sir.'
0:20:25 > 0:20:28PHONE RINGS
0:20:37 > 0:20:39ELECTRIC SHAVER BUZZES
0:20:41 > 0:20:43We have a system here, Keenan.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49It turns gangs of scruffy lads like you
0:20:49 > 0:20:51into disciplined teams.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54It works.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58You won't change it.
0:21:00 > 0:21:01Don't try.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05That sounds impressive, Sergeant.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Just makes me wonder why the Government's scrapping it.
0:21:11 > 0:21:12Sergeant.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21# Hallelujah
0:21:21 > 0:21:23# Hallelujah
0:21:23 > 0:21:24# Hallelujah
0:21:24 > 0:21:26# Hallelujah
0:21:26 > 0:21:32# Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, oh
0:21:33 > 0:21:35# We gotta pray
0:21:35 > 0:21:36# We gotta pray
0:21:36 > 0:21:38# We gotta pray
0:21:38 > 0:21:40# We gotta pray
0:21:40 > 0:21:46# Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, oh... #
0:21:49 > 0:21:53- Come on now, lads.- Right, lads. Hurry up, Sarge'll kill us.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32TOILET GURGLES
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Tell the CO what happened
0:22:42 > 0:22:45or you'll spend every day of your time in this camp in here.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48Eight weeks of basic training's not so long, Sergeant.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53And then, when you leave us,
0:22:53 > 0:22:58and your first posting is to some sticky mosquito-infested hole,
0:22:58 > 0:23:00my recommendation will follow you
0:23:00 > 0:23:02every day of your two years of service.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07You'll see a lot of toilet bowls, Private Keenan.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09TOILET GURGLES
0:23:24 > 0:23:28Private White-Bowne tells me he is missing an item of property.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30A Swiss gold watch.
0:23:30 > 0:23:34This causes me great sadness.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38But I will give whoever has transgressed
0:23:38 > 0:23:43the chance to show he has some moral fibre.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47The chance to earn the respect of the section.
0:23:52 > 0:23:57Obviously, the culprit has no redeeming qualities.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02Private White-Bowne, search every locker!
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Private Hoy, look under every mattress, NOW!
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Private McIllvenny, help Private Hoy.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Let's get this sorted out!
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Anything to say for yourself, Private Wratten?
0:24:44 > 0:24:47THEY PANT AND GROAN
0:24:48 > 0:24:50Gentlemen, you are suffering
0:24:50 > 0:24:54because of Private Wratten. You need to thank him for that.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57ALL: Thank you, Private Wratten.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Private Wratten does not understand
0:24:59 > 0:25:02the value of discipline in this army.
0:25:02 > 0:25:07Until he does, you ladies will pay for his delinquent behaviour.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12You think I care about them? You think I want their respect?
0:25:12 > 0:25:16What was that, Wratten? Did you hear that, boys?
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Private Wratten wants you to do another five laps!
0:25:19 > 0:25:20THEY GROAN
0:25:20 > 0:25:24What? And he says Private White-Bowne
0:25:24 > 0:25:28should do ten for being careless with his property.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33MUSIC: "I Just Wanna Make Love To You" by Etta James
0:25:41 > 0:25:45# I don't want you to be no slave
0:25:45 > 0:25:49# I don't want you to work all day... #
0:25:49 > 0:25:51SONG PLAYS ON RECORD PLAYER
0:25:51 > 0:25:54Sergeant, shouldn't you be talking to this Private Keenan
0:25:54 > 0:25:57instead of me? Finding out from him what's behind all this?
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Private Keenan's refused to say.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01So for the moment, we're both in the dark.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Why are you here, Sergeant?
0:26:11 > 0:26:12Well, because...
0:26:16 > 0:26:19..Lance Corporal Hobbs is in serious trouble.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21You know he's facing serious disciplinary measures?
0:26:21 > 0:26:23You came to tell me that? Well, I knew that.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27I just want him to know it's better if he gives himself up.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31No, you want to check I'm not hiding him under bed.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32Or in attic.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36I'm not stupid, just cos I don't have stripes on my arm.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38I wouldn't want you to waste your journey
0:26:38 > 0:26:40so you'd better have a look around.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Go on! Only make it quick
0:26:43 > 0:26:46cos I've got to be behind bar in White Horse in ten minutes.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52Don't worry, if your boss asks me, I'll say you had a good look round.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Norah? Thank you.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10You were really good. I mean, even I believed
0:27:10 > 0:27:12when you were talking about all that stuff.
0:27:12 > 0:27:13Never mind that, let's hear it.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16You shouldn't have shouted at the sergeant like that.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19In my own home I shout at who I like, including you.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22- Now what the hell's all this about? - Nothing.- Nothing?
0:27:22 > 0:27:25I come home and find you've broken the back window to get in,
0:27:25 > 0:27:28and then I have to lie through my teeth to your sergeant.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31And you heard him. Serious disciplinary measures,
0:27:31 > 0:27:33so don't tell me nothing!
0:27:35 > 0:27:36I only met Keenan once.
0:27:36 > 0:27:40It was on a train, we got to playing cards and he said that I had cheated
0:27:40 > 0:27:42- and took five quid off him.- And did you?
0:27:42 > 0:27:45Of course I didn't, but he got it into his head that I had,
0:27:45 > 0:27:47things got a bit heated, bit physical,
0:27:47 > 0:27:49he ended up coming off worse. I just got off the train.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52And that's it? That's all? Well, if he's in the wrong
0:27:52 > 0:27:54all you have to do is tell Sergeant Butcher all this.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57No, no, I can't go back. I punched my CO, you get two years for that.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59So what's the plan, Jimmy?
0:27:59 > 0:28:02If you can't go back, and I'm asking as your bride to be,
0:28:02 > 0:28:03what do we do now?
0:28:08 > 0:28:13'Things I thought were true. One, there's no such thing as fate.
0:28:13 > 0:28:17'Then the call-up papers arrive and almost the first thing I see
0:28:17 > 0:28:22'when I get here is that man, and I think of you.
0:28:22 > 0:28:26'And I want to kill him. I've been trying to get used to
0:28:26 > 0:28:29'the loneliness, trying to forget how we used to be together,
0:28:29 > 0:28:34'but fate or something like it doesn't want to let me.'
0:28:36 > 0:28:39If I have to do one more lap of that parade ground, Wratten,
0:28:39 > 0:28:41you'd better sleep with your eyes open.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43I didn't take the watch.
0:28:43 > 0:28:46Who cares, that's not the point!
0:28:46 > 0:28:49Barrowman set me up, can you not see what he's doing?
0:28:49 > 0:28:51What I can see is blisters on my feet
0:28:51 > 0:28:53cos you think you're Al Capone, Wratten.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55When we all jump if he tells us and shout, "Yes, Corporal,"
0:28:55 > 0:28:57what, you think that's because we like it?
0:28:57 > 0:28:59Here's what I think.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01This is 1960.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04The time for saying "Yes, sir" to a suit and uniform is over.
0:29:08 > 0:29:10I think we need to teach that boy a lesson.
0:29:10 > 0:29:12The next time he decides to open his...
0:29:12 > 0:29:13What on earth is that smell?
0:29:13 > 0:29:15Probably me.
0:29:15 > 0:29:18While you were all learning the value of discipline
0:29:18 > 0:29:20and team spirit, I was cleaning out the toilet block.
0:29:20 > 0:29:22Well, if it isn't Roger Bannister.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24What was the big chase all about, Keenan?
0:29:24 > 0:29:25It's personal.
0:29:25 > 0:29:28Oh, spill the beans, Ghandi! Where's your sense of team spirit?
0:29:28 > 0:29:31We just had one rebel get us in trouble, we don't need another.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Going to teach me a lesson too?
0:29:33 > 0:29:36A crack on the head after lights out maybe?
0:29:36 > 0:29:39And who put you in charge, White-Bowne?
0:29:39 > 0:29:42Anyone else thinks Wratten needs to be kept on a lead?
0:29:42 > 0:29:44After what he's just put this section through?
0:29:48 > 0:29:50(I'm just the voice of the people.)
0:29:55 > 0:29:57ENGINE THRUMS
0:30:28 > 0:30:29Mr Lomax.
0:30:29 > 0:30:33- DAVID NIVEN-ESQUE ACCENT: - Captain. I've had a look at the boat
0:30:33 > 0:30:36and I regret to inform you that,
0:30:36 > 0:30:38well, I can't swim.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42- What?- Shoot the driver.
0:30:42 > 0:30:46If an officer gets in your way, shoot him too.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48That's my plan.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51Or to be absolutely honest, I didn't think we could do it.
0:31:00 > 0:31:03Drop those shorts, McIllvenny.
0:31:03 > 0:31:05You've got nothing they haven't seen before.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10You heard what Butcher said.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12Do you want to be stuck cleaning toilets for the next two years?
0:31:12 > 0:31:15They've got no right to demand to know about my personal life.
0:31:15 > 0:31:17Fine. Except somebody punched the CO.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20- They're not going to forget about that.- Next!
0:31:20 > 0:31:22(Just tell 'em something.) Anything.
0:31:22 > 0:31:25Come on, Davies, show us all what you're made of.
0:31:32 > 0:31:34Private Keenan, get over here.
0:31:37 > 0:31:39Get those shorts down, Keenan.
0:31:47 > 0:31:49Don't cover it up, lad! We're not in the boy scouts now.
0:32:04 > 0:32:06Are you all right, old chap?
0:32:06 > 0:32:07Get away from there!
0:32:07 > 0:32:08Come on, who's next?
0:32:10 > 0:32:12Private Wratten, sir.
0:32:12 > 0:32:14I nearly slept with his mother once.
0:32:14 > 0:32:17But the man behind me in the queue had the right change.
0:32:17 > 0:32:21- Don't rise to it.- Unless you want to spend the night in the Infirmary.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23Is there a problem there, two-section?
0:32:24 > 0:32:25No, Corporal.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38Wratten, pick up those knees, you little tea-leaf.
0:32:57 > 0:32:58Ladies!
0:32:58 > 0:33:01Fold this like that. Like we used to do,
0:33:01 > 0:33:04under fire in Korea!
0:33:04 > 0:33:07Tuck that in there! As the actress said to the Private!
0:33:09 > 0:33:11That's all there is to it, ladies, do you understand?
0:33:11 > 0:33:13ALL: Yes, Corporal!
0:33:13 > 0:33:15LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:33:20 > 0:33:21Oi!
0:33:23 > 0:33:25You need some help with that.
0:33:25 > 0:33:27I can manage.
0:33:27 > 0:33:30It weren't a question. You need some help with that, otherwise
0:33:30 > 0:33:33come tomorrow's inspection, we're all having it in the neck.
0:33:33 > 0:33:36Davies is right. It's the only way it'll work in this asylum.
0:33:36 > 0:33:37He helps you with what he's good at
0:33:37 > 0:33:39and you help him with something else.
0:33:43 > 0:33:44The world waits.
0:33:44 > 0:33:47Will Private Wratten shift the monolith of his stubbornness
0:33:47 > 0:33:49the necessary half an inch?
0:33:56 > 0:34:01By the left, quick march! Left-right, left-right, halt!
0:34:01 > 0:34:03Left turn!
0:34:05 > 0:34:06Sir.
0:34:10 > 0:34:13Impersonating an officer, however badly,
0:34:13 > 0:34:15is a grave offence, Private Lomax.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18Maybe my sense of humour is not to your taste,
0:34:18 > 0:34:22but I'd go stark raving mad if I didn't crack some rather bad jokes.
0:34:27 > 0:34:28I think it's David Niven, sir.
0:34:28 > 0:34:31No, the killing is much better left to someone like you,
0:34:31 > 0:34:34an officer and just possibly a gentleman!
0:34:46 > 0:34:48Is he genuine, Sergeant?
0:34:52 > 0:34:54Are you a fake, Lomax?
0:34:54 > 0:34:56- I think you are.- I've no idea!
0:34:57 > 0:35:00I'm not even sure who is responsible any longer.
0:35:02 > 0:35:04You don't think we should show him to Captain Bulgakov?
0:35:04 > 0:35:07See if he's trying to get a loony ticket out?
0:35:07 > 0:35:10No, sir. I find it best usually not to indulge them.
0:35:14 > 0:35:15All right.
0:35:15 > 0:35:17Put him in with his section.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23Private Lomax, left turn.
0:35:23 > 0:35:26Quick march! Left-right, left-right,
0:35:26 > 0:35:29left-right, left-right, left-right,
0:35:29 > 0:35:30left-right, left-right...
0:35:32 > 0:35:34MUSIC: "Forever" by the Little Dippers
0:35:58 > 0:36:05# Hold me, kiss me
0:36:05 > 0:36:11# Whisper sweetly
0:36:11 > 0:36:17# Forever. #
0:36:17 > 0:36:19Well, will you look at me?
0:36:21 > 0:36:22I'm a soldier.
0:36:24 > 0:36:28And I'm almost sad I'll be leaving you losers. Almost.
0:36:28 > 0:36:29White-Bowne?
0:36:29 > 0:36:33This escape plan of yours, the thing is, nobody believes you've got one.
0:36:33 > 0:36:39Oh, really? Anyone want to put a bet on it? Let's say a fiver?
0:36:39 > 0:36:41Wa-hey, listen to Rockefeller here.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43Why don't we make it more interesting?
0:36:43 > 0:36:45If you're still here after three weeks,
0:36:45 > 0:36:48you clean everybody's boots for the rest of basic training.
0:36:48 > 0:36:49ALL SPEAK IN AGREEMENT
0:36:49 > 0:36:51OK.
0:36:51 > 0:36:54But if I win and I'm stood here with my exemption papers,
0:36:54 > 0:36:59then Private Keenan here will kneel and lick my boots clean.
0:37:04 > 0:37:08Attention! When your sergeant enters your barrack rooms!
0:37:10 > 0:37:13Private, quick march!
0:37:13 > 0:37:19Left right, left right, left right, left right, left right. Halt!
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Left turn!
0:37:22 > 0:37:24Two paces forward, march!
0:37:26 > 0:37:28About turn!
0:37:31 > 0:37:35Two-section, this is Private Lomax.
0:37:35 > 0:37:39He won't bite. At least I don't think he will.
0:37:39 > 0:37:43Time to go home. The party's over, I'm afraid.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45Somebody sat on the cake!
0:37:45 > 0:37:47SNIGGERING
0:37:47 > 0:37:49Just work around him.
0:37:49 > 0:37:52Private Keenan, follow me.
0:37:52 > 0:37:55You've got a couple of hours' duties before lights out.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59Sergeant?
0:38:01 > 0:38:03I'd like to talk to the CO.
0:38:05 > 0:38:07Well?
0:38:07 > 0:38:10What was it that filled one so meek and mild with such rage?
0:38:11 > 0:38:15Sir. Lance Corporal Hobbs, he, erm...
0:38:17 > 0:38:20..tried to steal my girlfriend, sir.
0:38:20 > 0:38:22It was about a year ago.
0:38:22 > 0:38:26I didn't realise how angry I still felt until I saw Hobbs again, sir.
0:38:26 > 0:38:29And that's it? That's the whole grubby truth?
0:38:29 > 0:38:31Yes, sir. I just saw red, sir.
0:38:31 > 0:38:34So we can close this sordid chapter?
0:38:34 > 0:38:36Except I'm still missing a head cook.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38Aren't I, Private Keenan?
0:38:39 > 0:38:41Dismissed.
0:38:57 > 0:39:01You, er, had a good day, darling?
0:39:01 > 0:39:05- I was thinking, now things are a little better between us...- Colin!
0:39:05 > 0:39:07If you suggest that we talk things over
0:39:07 > 0:39:11or lay our cards on the table or clear the air or...
0:39:15 > 0:39:18I'm going to have a drink so I can face the rest of the evening.
0:39:20 > 0:39:21I suggest you do the same.
0:39:43 > 0:39:46MUSIC: "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" by Elvis Presley
0:39:51 > 0:39:56# Are you lonesome tonight?
0:39:56 > 0:40:01# Do you miss me tonight?
0:40:01 > 0:40:08# Are you sorry we drifted apart?
0:40:10 > 0:40:15# Does your memory stray
0:40:15 > 0:40:19# To a bright summer day
0:40:19 > 0:40:27# When I kissed you and called you sweetheart?
0:40:29 > 0:40:34# Do the chairs in your parlour
0:40:34 > 0:40:39# Seem empty and bare?
0:40:39 > 0:40:43# Do you gaze at your doorstep
0:40:43 > 0:40:48# And picture me there?
0:40:48 > 0:40:53# Is your heart filled with pain?
0:40:53 > 0:40:57# Shall I come back again?
0:40:57 > 0:41:05# Tell me, dear Are you lonesome tonight?
0:41:10 > 0:41:13# SPOKEN: I wonder if you're lonesome tonight
0:41:14 > 0:41:17# You know, someone said that the world's a stage
0:41:17 > 0:41:19# And each must play a part
0:41:21 > 0:41:25# Fate had me playing in love with you as my sweetheart
0:41:25 > 0:41:26# Act One was where we met
0:41:28 > 0:41:29# I loved you at first glance
0:41:31 > 0:41:34# You read your lines so cleverly and never missed a cue
0:41:36 > 0:41:39# Then came Act Two
0:41:39 > 0:41:42# You seemed to change You acted strange
0:41:42 > 0:41:44# And why, I've never known
0:41:45 > 0:41:49# Is your heart filled with pain?
0:41:49 > 0:41:55# Shall I come back again?
0:41:55 > 0:42:02# Tell me, dear Are you lonesome tonight?
0:42:02 > 0:42:05# Mmm-mmm-mmm. #
0:42:07 > 0:42:10Go back to your barracks, Private Lomax.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18We'll talk about this with Captain Bulgakov in the morning.
0:42:33 > 0:42:37Let's all just see if we can be soldiers, shall we?
0:42:37 > 0:42:40A-a-a-agh!
0:42:40 > 0:42:43This girdle is too tight, are you sure it's really mine?
0:42:43 > 0:42:46I've got better things to do than have these clowns waste my time!
0:42:46 > 0:42:48Take 'em to the Kill Village.
0:42:48 > 0:42:50Teach 'em a lesson they won't forget!
0:42:52 > 0:42:56# We gotta get out of this place
0:42:56 > 0:42:59# If it's the last thing we ever do
0:43:00 > 0:43:03# We gotta get out of this place
0:43:03 > 0:43:08# Girl, there's a better life for me and
0:43:08 > 0:43:11# We gotta get out of this place
0:43:11 > 0:43:15# If it's the last thing we ever do
0:43:16 > 0:43:19# We gotta get out of this place... #
0:43:19 > 0:43:21Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd