0:00:20 > 0:00:22Angus is fine on his own.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24It's Stella you don't want to leave.
0:00:24 > 0:00:25- Stella's moving in with you. - Just for a bit.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Your ex-wife Stella?
0:00:27 > 0:00:28She's a pal.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30I love the bones of her, don't I?
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Stop it, you, you'll set me off.
0:00:32 > 0:00:33Come here.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36- I like her. - That's up to you.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38You want to be with her? I cannae be in your life.
0:00:38 > 0:00:39My friend Cassie, she's seen you around
0:00:39 > 0:00:41and she'd really like to meet you.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44I'm not here because I want a date, I'm here because I want a husband.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46- I just spent the last of it on a bird.- What bird's that?- My fiancee.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01It's days like this when I am glad that there's gun control here!
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Whoa, Charging Buffalo. What's the matter?
0:01:04 > 0:01:05You're not going to believe this.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08The registry office have only gone and double-booked our wedding.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11- We have to move. - Have they offered another day?
0:01:11 > 0:01:12Yeah, two months from now.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14So, don't panic. We'll do it two months from now.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18Angus, I don't have that long left on my visa!
0:01:18 > 0:01:22No wedding, and it's bye-bye, Scotland, hello, boring old NYC.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31What's so funny?
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Well, half of Glasgow's probably dying to get out of here
0:01:33 > 0:01:35and move to New York.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Well, I'm not one of them. This is my home now.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Besides, I improve the place just by being here.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Debatable.
0:01:41 > 0:01:46Is it? Well, no wedding and this little arrangement is off.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48It's not that easy.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50I've already spent the money on the bar.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53Angus, being American, I know a thing or two about litigation.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55It's sort of a second language to us.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Is that like football is for the Scots?
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Only more dangerous.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02If my visa runs out before I get married,
0:02:02 > 0:02:04I'll be suing you for the five grand.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17What do you think? Do I look ready for work?
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Work?
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Aye, behind the bar at the Tall Ship.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25Robbie put in a good word with Gary, so I've got a trial shift.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Is that a good idea?
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Why wouldn't it be? I've done it before.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Aye, I know, but... Is it not too soon?
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Are you sure you're ready?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35No. I'm not sure.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37But I can't stay in here and jump at my shadow all day, can I?
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Aye, well, good for you, hen.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43I'm sure you can do it.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I hope so.
0:02:46 > 0:02:47Right.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50- Right, see you.- Aye. See you.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01You'll be fine. There's nothing to it.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Graham's here if it gets too busy.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05I just want to do a decent job.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07You were good enough to give me a chance.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10No problem. Have you had a chance to look at the menu?
0:03:10 > 0:03:11Familiar enough?
0:03:11 > 0:03:12Aye, I've memorised it.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18- NASAL ACCENT:- Oh, cheese and ham sandwich.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20'Scuse me, could you tell me...
0:03:20 > 0:03:22is that with white or granary bread?
0:03:22 > 0:03:23We do both, sir.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27And is it cheddar or brie?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Or haloumi. It's your choice.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Oh, well, in that case I'll have everything on the menu, please.
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Coming right up, sir.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34You'll be fine.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40You don't like it?
0:03:43 > 0:03:47I have got the hippest new bands in Glasgow lined up to play this bar.
0:03:47 > 0:03:51That brings art students, fashion students, media types.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53In short, if this place is going to be a success,
0:03:53 > 0:03:55it has to attract the likes of me...
0:03:55 > 0:03:57not you.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Maybe we've just got a different idea of what's cool.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Clearly. This is all I need.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03No venue, no date for the wedding,
0:04:03 > 0:04:06now the bar isn't even going to be ready for its launch...
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Hold on. Why don't we just combine all three?
0:04:11 > 0:04:13What are you talking about?
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Oh, you can't mean here?
0:04:17 > 0:04:19That would mean getting married tonight.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22What an opportunity. It'd definitely get folk talking.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25That's actually not a bad idea.
0:04:25 > 0:04:26A cool one, you might say?
0:04:26 > 0:04:27Don't push it.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31OK, I'll see if they can send out a registrar.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33- It's short notice... - But they owe us.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Exactly. I know how this is done.
0:04:36 > 0:04:41Waterworks... "I can't believe you're putting me in this situation!
0:04:41 > 0:04:44"The biggest day of my life!"
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Damsel in distress. They'll jump.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47Trust me.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51Whoa. I am not getting on your wrong side.
0:04:51 > 0:04:52I gotta get a wedding dress.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56You have got to get your best man on board and make an announcement
0:04:56 > 0:05:00and this place is not going to look like this, I can assure you!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02OK, my darling sweetheart.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Write all this down. You're a man, you'll forget. Item three... get chairs.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09We have got a lot of work to do and not much time to do it in.
0:05:09 > 0:05:10Move!
0:05:10 > 0:05:11All right.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14All right.
0:05:22 > 0:05:23All right?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25There you go. How's the head on it?
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Perfect. Class in a glass.
0:05:32 > 0:05:33How long have you got?
0:05:35 > 0:05:39- There you are.- Slow down, you'll wear your batteries out. What's the matter?
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Your best man duties are about to be brought forward.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43- Eh? - BELL RINGS
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Hello, everyone, and happy lunchtime!
0:05:46 > 0:05:48I've got a wee announcement to make.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51You'll all have had your invites to the opening of my new Pop-Up bar
0:05:51 > 0:05:55- tonight, so I'm looking forward to seeing you all there with bells on. - Aye, bells on what, though?
0:05:55 > 0:05:59But I am also pleased to announce that at 7.30pm,
0:05:59 > 0:06:03my good self, Mr Angus Lindsay of Shieldinch, being of sound mind,
0:06:03 > 0:06:06will take Miss Cassie Evans to be my lawfully wedded wife.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08So get dressed in your best!
0:06:13 > 0:06:15You're getting married tonight?
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Just feels right. We got a good deal on the venue!
0:06:18 > 0:06:20A word.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25So this is actually going ahead?
0:06:25 > 0:06:27And you're claiming to be "of sound mind"?
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Oh, am I meant to take marriage advice
0:06:29 > 0:06:31from the guy that's been engaged five times?
0:06:31 > 0:06:32At least I was in love.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Five times.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36I think you've misunderstood what this is all about.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39It's a business transaction, one that allows me
0:06:39 > 0:06:41some much-needed start-up capital.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Is there not an easier way? Save up?
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- Get a bank loan?- What, rather than someone just give it to me?
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- Oh, aye, cos that's much harder. - At least it's honest.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Are you saying I'm dishonest?
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Either that or you're a deluded fool.
0:06:52 > 0:06:56Aw, cheers for the pep talk. Some best man you are.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00Best man? No! The fake proposal was bad enough.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02I'm not going along with this sham.
0:07:02 > 0:07:03Is that right?
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Well, if you'll excuse me, I've got a wedding to organise.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Kel, how long are you going to keep this up for?
0:07:21 > 0:07:24- Stop giving me the cold shoulder. - Can I get sir anything else?
0:07:24 > 0:07:27No. Just forget it.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33What's up? Got a text saying you wanted to meet me.
0:07:33 > 0:07:38Aye, listen, Angus was in earlier and announced that him
0:07:38 > 0:07:40and Cassie are getting married tonight.
0:07:40 > 0:07:41You're joking!
0:07:43 > 0:07:45That girl does not do things by half.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49Well, we were going to the opening of the bar tonight anyway, so...
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Don't tell me you forgot.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56I reminded you last time I saw you.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00You are still taking me, right?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04I don't think I fancy it, to be honest with you.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Who doesn't fancy a wedding?
0:08:06 > 0:08:08It's just an excuse to get dressed up and have a party.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10I'm just not into it.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12She'll probably ask me to be a witness,
0:08:12 > 0:08:14it'd be really good to have you there beside me.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17You've got eyes, can you no witness it yourself?
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Why are you being like this?
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Is taking me out some kind of imposition?
0:08:22 > 0:08:25I'm sorry, but you're not welcome here.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27So, you're going to have to leave.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29I'm barred? What for?
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Kel, keep your nose out. This is between me and Angel.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35I warned you about her. This is her trying to push you around already.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38That's definitely not what's happening here.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39No, I know what you're like.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43You just need to have people dancing about for you, like wee puppets, eh?
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Kel, stay out of my business, all right?
0:08:51 > 0:08:54I have just saved you from being bitten by a snake.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Graham, can you cover the bar?
0:09:04 > 0:09:08Angel, wait, stop. Look, I'm sorry.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14She's my sister, she gets a bit overprotective when it comes to me.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17That wasn't anything to do with you. That was all about me.
0:09:17 > 0:09:21Can't blame her if the thought of me and you makes her uncomfortable.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Makes her uncomfortable, or makes YOU uncomfortable?
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Oh! Congratulations!
0:09:41 > 0:09:43When it's right, it's right, eh?
0:09:43 > 0:09:44What?
0:09:44 > 0:09:45Your wedding. Tonight.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47You've both heard already?
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Oh, I've been spreading the good news!
0:09:50 > 0:09:54Well, I need an entire outfit. Mainly a dress.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Like, immediately.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59You just may have come to the right place.
0:09:59 > 0:10:00Of course!
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Handed in yesterday.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05The day before your wedding.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Written in the stars, dear!
0:10:10 > 0:10:12We must be reading different horoscopes.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15Isn't it gorgeous? It's vintage.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Do you not just love the old designs?
0:10:18 > 0:10:19Depends on how old.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23Well, listen, I tell you what, take it home. Try it on.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27If you don't want to wear it, fine, just hand it back in.
0:10:27 > 0:10:28But if you do...
0:10:28 > 0:10:30It's fate?
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Exactly.
0:10:31 > 0:10:36Thanks. I'll try not to, uh, lose it on my way home.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39I don't care what her history with Angel is.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41- She shouldn't be bringing it into the workplace.- Excuse me?
0:10:41 > 0:10:45I know, I know. She has had a really tough time recently.
0:10:45 > 0:10:46I'm standing right here.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- This was a trial shift. And I'm afraid you failed. - Aye, I'm getting that.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Can you not just give her another go?
0:10:51 > 0:10:54She barred a paying customer who'd done nothing wrong.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56- I'm sorry.- That's all right.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Clearly Angel's feelings are higher priority than mine.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Ah, Kelly!
0:11:00 > 0:11:03As if I don't have enough on my plate,
0:11:03 > 0:11:06I've this meeting at the school for Jenny today.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09We're pleading mitigating circumstances?
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Because of the eviction?
0:11:12 > 0:11:16And we need the school to argue our case to the exam board?
0:11:16 > 0:11:17Is any of this ringing a bell?
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Oh, aye!
0:11:19 > 0:11:20Graham's got to leave early
0:11:20 > 0:11:22so I'll need you to cover the bar while I'm there.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Aye, sure, no bother.
0:11:24 > 0:11:25Where are you going?
0:11:25 > 0:11:27I've got to make sure Kelly-Marie's OK.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Stop chasing after her, Robbie!
0:11:29 > 0:11:30She is my best friend.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31Aargh!
0:11:33 > 0:11:35I mean, can you believe it?
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Springing this wedding on everybody tonight.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38You saw the proposal.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40It was hardly going to be a five-year engagement.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43How can a sham marriage make somebody happy?
0:11:43 > 0:11:46Angus hasn't stopped smiling since. So surely that counts for something.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48A "business decision". That's what he called it.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Marriage is for two people who love each other.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53What?
0:11:53 > 0:11:55No. I wasn't talking about you and me.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57I never mentioned you and me. You did.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59This is about Angus, not us.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02- Aye, well, maybe that's the problem. - What?
0:12:02 > 0:12:03It's never about us.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05- What are you getting at? - You tell me.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07You're the one who got hitched to a wrestler
0:12:07 > 0:12:08when you were drunk in Las Vegas.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11- Or have you forgotten that? - No, Bob, I haven't forgotten.
0:12:11 > 0:12:12And clearly, neither have you.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18So, I bawled my eyes out,
0:12:18 > 0:12:23demanded they send a registrar out tonight, and hey presto!
0:12:23 > 0:12:24Instant wedding.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27No messing around, eh? And is that the dress?
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Yeah. I'm like stuck with it.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Oh, it's lovely. Where did that come from?
0:12:33 > 0:12:37Molly was practically insistent I wear it.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Maybe I'll add like a gun-belt and a six-shooter.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40You don't like it?
0:12:41 > 0:12:44I dunno. I think it's elegant.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Classy.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Listen, I'm taking an hour off this afternoon, all right?
0:12:49 > 0:12:50What for?
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Alasdair.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54I just want to pop round and see how he's getting on.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58- I feel a wee bit responsible for him.- Suppose so.
0:12:58 > 0:12:59Thanks.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Aren't you going to say the dress looks beautiful on her?
0:13:06 > 0:13:07I'll see you later.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Don't. Just don't.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14I wasn't going to say a word.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Exactly. You've got bigger things to worry about.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Like, is the bar even going to be ready?
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Yeah, I've got my top man on it.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41PHONE DIALS
0:13:41 > 0:13:45'Please leave your message after the tone.'
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Bob? I know that you're not answering cos it's me,
0:13:48 > 0:13:51but are you going to just stop being a tubular bell?
0:13:51 > 0:13:54This bar is nowhere near ready for tonight, and I really
0:13:54 > 0:13:57need your help, so stop being the Incredible Sulk and get down here.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03My first shift and he fired me at the drop of a hat.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Is there no some employment law against it?
0:14:05 > 0:14:08It was a trial shift. He did explain that to you beforehand.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09But I was doing really well.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13- If Angel hadn't walked in, I'd have been fine. - Kelly-Marie, she does live here.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15She was always going to come in at some point.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19- Can't believe that cow. First she took my husband... - Done you a favour there.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Then she took my brother and now she's taken my job.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22You've got to get over her.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24You're letting her eat you up inside.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27- And look what it's just cost you. - Are you saying it's my fault now?
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Aye, it is. You left Gary with no other choice.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Aye, it's clear whose side you're on, anyway.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- I'm just trying to see it from both sides.- Doesn't look like that from where I'm sitting.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43What do you want to make me feel bad about now?
0:14:43 > 0:14:47It's not that. I just wanted to explain about the wedding.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49The one you're not taking me to?
0:14:49 > 0:14:53I'm not trying to mess you around, I just...
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Just not taking me to it.
0:15:02 > 0:15:03It's complicated.
0:15:03 > 0:15:04It really isn't.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09Look, I just don't want to rub it in Kelly-Marie's face, all right.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11I'm just going to be your dirty wee secret, is that it?
0:15:11 > 0:15:14Don't use words like that! You don't know what you're talking about!
0:15:14 > 0:15:17You were being weird before Kelly-Marie found out about us.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20So using your sister as an excuse is weak.
0:15:20 > 0:15:21Weak?
0:15:21 > 0:15:24You're a grown man. Never mind what your sister thinks.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Make your own decisions.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Right, fine. I've decided. I'm not going.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Oh, aye, here he comes. Casanova.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Aye, well you weren't answering my calls,
0:15:37 > 0:15:39so I've had to come in person.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Mate, I really need your help to get the bar ready.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43I'm up to my eyes in it here, mate.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45You've no been in, so I'm way behind.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Don't give me that. Come on, spit out the real reason.
0:15:48 > 0:15:49You know my feelings.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Marriage should be for ever, not for a quick buck.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54"For ever." Talk about amateur dramatics.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56The only thing that's amateur here is this wedding.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Can you imagine marrying Zinnie this way?
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Hey. Leave Zinnie out of it.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Oh, did that sting? I wonder why.
0:16:03 > 0:16:08Mate, for the first time in months I've got something to believe in.
0:16:08 > 0:16:09Aye, money.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11It's not about money.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13"Start-up capital", that's what you called it earlier.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17Aye, for the bar! It's given me a purpose.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20I get the bar, Cassie gets her visa. Everybody's happy.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Wrong. I'm not happy and Ellie's not happy.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Ah, right, so that's what this is about. Sham recognises sham.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Watch it.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Are you the only one allowed to throw that stone?
0:16:34 > 0:16:38- So we're meant to talk about my fake relationship, but not yours. - I'm warning you...
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Oh, did that sting? I wonder why.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Face it, mate, you don't want to see me happy because that'd be proof
0:16:43 > 0:16:45of how utterly miserable you are stuck with Ellie.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47What?!
0:16:52 > 0:16:55I think it's time for me to find another best man.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Houston, we have a problem.
0:17:03 > 0:17:04Yeah, this dress needs taking in.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06No.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07The chairs?
0:17:07 > 0:17:09No, Bob. He's not coming.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11But he's the best man.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13He doesn't approve.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Look, you and Bob can throw harpoons at each other for all I care,
0:17:15 > 0:17:19just as long as it takes place after the wedding at which he is
0:17:19 > 0:17:20fulfilling his legal duty.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Might be a bit late for that.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25He'll be away greeting to anybody that'll listen that it's all a sham.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Are you serious?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Angus, if the Home Office get one hint
0:17:29 > 0:17:33that this isn't a real relationship, we could be looking at jail time.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34Do you understand?
0:17:34 > 0:17:36- Jail? - Yes, jail!
0:17:36 > 0:17:40As in, a cell, bars on the windows, cigarettes for currency.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42But I'm too pretty to go to jail.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44PHONE CHIMES
0:17:44 > 0:17:45Angus.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Right, I'd better go and find a best man.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50And the chairs.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Chairs...
0:17:55 > 0:17:56I would have phoned earlier
0:17:56 > 0:18:00but I just got the voicemail about some chairs you failed to deliver.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Well, they were supposed to be here an hour ago, y'know,
0:18:04 > 0:18:06when I was waiting in?
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Listen, I'm getting married tonight and I need the chairs.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15No, I can't send my best man to pick them up.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19Because I'm still waiting for him to be delivered as well, all right?
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Chairs, I need chairs!
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Calm down, what's the matter?
0:18:28 > 0:18:30The Community Centre's shut
0:18:30 > 0:18:33and I've got an immediate chair deficiency for the wedding.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Oh, so what sort of style are you looking for?
0:18:36 > 0:18:37Any style. It doesn't matter.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Well, there's this one.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Aw, you're kidding.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43This is the only chair we've got at the moment.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Well, in that case, is there any chance you could
0:18:45 > 0:18:47ring your pals in the other charity shops?
0:18:47 > 0:18:49They're not our pals.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Half of them wouldn't even know how to spell charity.
0:18:52 > 0:18:56In it just to cherry-pick the best items.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58I could tell you stories...
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Look, it's for the bride.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02She's really under pressure, she's really stressed
0:19:02 > 0:19:04and she can't take much more today.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Right. Say no more.
0:19:08 > 0:19:09Not long now.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14I hope you've given Bob enough time to write his speech?
0:19:17 > 0:19:21Look, I know it's a sham, you know it's a sham, and so do they.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26But sometimes you need to let people make their own mistakes.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Look at the reactions we got when we said we were getting married.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31At least we were a real couple.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Aye, and it didn't work out. So marriage isn't a guarantee.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37I'm trying to be a mate and help him,
0:19:37 > 0:19:40but he just keeps pushing me away.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43Well, maybe he thinks he doesn't need the help.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44I spent months trying to put him
0:19:44 > 0:19:47back together after Zinnie died.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Now he's putting a torch to it.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52I just don't want to see him getting hurt.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Well, if it's not real, then he cannae get hurt, can he?
0:19:55 > 0:19:57I mean, how can they be a real couple
0:19:57 > 0:19:59when they don't even stay together!
0:19:59 > 0:20:01What, like you and Ellie?
0:20:01 > 0:20:07What? No. That's different. I mean, me and Ellie, we're...
0:20:07 > 0:20:09amazing right now.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Well, we will be.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17We had an argument this morning.
0:20:17 > 0:20:18Right.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Don't start.
0:20:20 > 0:20:21No...
0:20:22 > 0:20:25I just think maybe you need to speak to Ellie more than Angus.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28I do, don't I?
0:20:28 > 0:20:28Uh-huh.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32But don't go in like a bull in a china shop.
0:20:32 > 0:20:33She breaks easily.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Gently does it. You know me.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Aye, unfortunately I do know you.
0:20:39 > 0:20:40THEY LAUGH
0:20:45 > 0:20:49He's just being really weird about Angus's wedding.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Maybe I overreacted...
0:20:51 > 0:20:52I'm not the best person to ask.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54You could string a man up and set him on fire
0:20:54 > 0:20:56and I wouldn't call it an overreaction.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59I should apologise. Clear the air.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Usually, I'd say let him come to you,
0:21:01 > 0:21:04but you're sitting here worrying yourself sick.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07Right. I'll see if I can talk him into going to the wedding.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Maybe we both just need a good night.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11That'll sort you out.
0:21:11 > 0:21:12Aye, right.
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Is Bob in?
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Naw. He's at work. I think he's coming to see you.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Oh, is he? Funny how he hasn't phoned me or anything.
0:21:27 > 0:21:28I'm sure he will.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31- Sounds like you've got a lot to talk about.- What's he said?
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Look, Ellie, it's probably none of my business, right,
0:21:34 > 0:21:36but you need to be patient with him.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39- He's a bit confused about stuff the now.- What, HE's the confused one?
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- I'm just saying...- Well, don't. You were right. It's none of your business.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Look, I know Bob. I know how his mind works.
0:21:45 > 0:21:46Are you trying to say I don't?
0:21:46 > 0:21:49I understand Bob just fine, Stella. He's with me now.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51I'm well aware of that. I'm just trying to help.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55I don't need your help. And quite frankly, neither does Bob. So just back off, all right?
0:22:03 > 0:22:04How's my Angel?
0:22:04 > 0:22:06She's had better days.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08I really need that drink tonight.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Do you know Kelly-Marie ripped into me again earlier?
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Yeah... On that note...
0:22:14 > 0:22:16I was wondering if you'd consider giving her a job?
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Are you serious?
0:22:18 > 0:22:21You're opening that treatment room and she really needs this.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24- Come on, do it for me, not for her. - No, I'm sorry.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26I have tried I don't know how many times with that woman.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28I'm tired of it. She hates me.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31She doesn't hate you. She just...
0:22:31 > 0:22:32doesn't like you.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Yeah. So you can imagine how tense it would be around here. No, thanks.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37She'd be a real asset to you.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40She was the best beautician in Shieldinch, in her day.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Yeah, well, this isn't her day.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Come on, Angel, Kelly-Marie is a really good worker.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53That's not the issue and you know it.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Robbie's right, she is a good worker.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00And it might help build some bridges.
0:23:00 > 0:23:01Look, how about this...
0:23:01 > 0:23:03if I can get her in here to try and help smooth things over,
0:23:03 > 0:23:05would that make a difference?
0:23:06 > 0:23:10Right, I'll consider it. But it depends on how sincere she is.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Let me go and talk to her.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Thanks, I really appreciate it.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22I'm not sure Kelly-Marie will.
0:23:27 > 0:23:28SHE EXCLAIMS
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Hey, watch out!
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Oh, I'm sorry, did you drop the costume
0:23:32 > 0:23:34you're wearing for your pantomime tonight?
0:23:34 > 0:23:35Hey, you!
0:23:36 > 0:23:38What is your problem?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40All right, I'll tell you what my problem is.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43You appear in a puff of smoke and rope Angus into marrying you.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Whoa, a couple of weeks ago, you were all about the proposal.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48If I'm not mistaken, you even shed a tear.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Yeah, well, now Bob's being all weird with me
0:23:50 > 0:23:52and it's all cos of your stupid wedding.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54What kind of fantasy world are you living in?
0:23:54 > 0:23:56He's been greeting his heart out to Stella
0:23:56 > 0:23:58- about how he can't commit to me. - And that's my fault?
0:23:58 > 0:24:00You know, in New York we have a saying
0:24:00 > 0:24:03whenever a girl is getting all upside her head about some dumbass.
0:24:03 > 0:24:04And what's that?
0:24:04 > 0:24:06"Maybe he's not that into you."
0:24:06 > 0:24:08How dare you?!
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Sitting around waiting for some dude to propose? Get a grip!
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Oh, that's rich. Didn't you proposition Angus?
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Well, here's a proposition for you -
0:24:15 > 0:24:18why can Bob be honest with some fruitcake like Stella,
0:24:18 > 0:24:20but he can't with you?
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Because he is not...that...into you.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26I hope your joke of a wedding falls apart.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27Y-you never know!
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Listen, Drew, it's really good of you to help me out like this.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40I'd have had no chance of getting it ready in time.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Nae worries.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45Sort of thing a best man should be doing, eh?
0:24:45 > 0:24:47- Looks good, though.- Cheers, man.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50So, eh...
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- So what age are you? - 16. How?- Nae reason.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59And, erm, how are you at speaking in front of crowds?
0:25:00 > 0:25:03I done a talk for the book review in school once.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05James And The Giant Peach.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Know what? Don't worry about it.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11- Ah, just the man I wanted to see. - AJ, what can I do for you?
0:25:11 > 0:25:12It's more what I can do for you.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15How would you like a free tray of tasty pork pies
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- for consumption at your festivities? - Aye, cheers!
0:25:18 > 0:25:20- What's the catch? - No catch. Just simple generosity.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Well, that and they're left over after an order fell through.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Sure, just stick them behind the bar.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Cheers, AJ, you're a good man.
0:25:29 > 0:25:30Actually...
0:25:30 > 0:25:32you're great in front of a crowd, aren't you?
0:25:32 > 0:25:34I've seen you rock an open mic night.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37Are you kidding me? Public speaking's my natural forte.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39I can do Shakespeare...
0:25:39 > 0:25:42- PLUMMY ENGLISH ACCENT:- "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
0:25:42 > 0:25:44"Thou art more lovely and more temperate..."
0:25:44 > 0:25:46- What does that mean? - Actually, I was more thinking...
0:25:46 > 0:25:48I can do a really good Billy Connolly as well.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52- AS BILLY CONNOLLY:- "Brilliant! I just stepped in a JOBBY!"
0:25:54 > 0:25:56I'm, er... I'm looking for a best man.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Angus...
0:26:00 > 0:26:01I'd be honoured.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Thank you.
0:26:07 > 0:26:08I don't know why you're making such a fuss.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10And that, right there, is the problem.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13But never mind, I'm sure Stella will be able to tell you.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15- What's Stella got to dae with this? - Nothing.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17That's why I get put out and you keep rushing round to her.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19So you've spoken to her, then?
0:26:19 > 0:26:21No, you've spoken to her. That's my point.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24But Stella's just... She's just a mate.
0:26:24 > 0:26:25Aye, a mate you used to be married tae!
0:26:25 > 0:26:28I feel like the one on the outside of your relationship to her,
0:26:28 > 0:26:29not the other way around.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Why are you giving me so much aggro the day?
0:26:31 > 0:26:34- You know what I'm going through! - What YOU'RE going through?
0:26:34 > 0:26:36So this isn't something that's happening to both of us?
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Look, your problem with Stella is exactly that - YOUR problem.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41She's done nothing wrong.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Bob, do you understand how it makes me feel
0:26:43 > 0:26:45hearing you defend her all the time?
0:26:45 > 0:26:46I'll defend whoever's in the right.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48- Meaning I'm in the wrong? - That's not what I meant!
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Do you know, Cassie got it spot-on.
0:26:50 > 0:26:51Maybe you're not that into me.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Cassie?
0:26:53 > 0:26:55What are you talking to her about it for?
0:26:55 > 0:26:58Actually, do you know what? I don't even want to talk to you any more.
0:26:58 > 0:26:59- Ellie, listen...- Save it.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02HE EXHALES
0:27:02 > 0:27:04No way! What, are you taking the mick?
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Look, you said it yourself, there's not much out there.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09You just want me and Angel to play happy in the sandbox,
0:27:09 > 0:27:11cos it suits you to be pals with everybody.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13I've got bigger things to be thinking about
0:27:13 > 0:27:16- than making your life easier. - That's not what's going on!
0:27:16 > 0:27:18I hate seeing you like this!
0:27:19 > 0:27:21You've got to have a...
0:27:21 > 0:27:23a purpose, a reason to get up in the morning.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Is a new baby a good reason enough for you?
0:27:25 > 0:27:29- Kelly, David isn't here any more. - I'm no' talking about David.
0:27:29 > 0:27:30Hang on. Are you...?
0:27:32 > 0:27:33Oh, my God, Kelly!
0:27:33 > 0:27:36H-how?
0:27:36 > 0:27:38W-who?!
0:27:38 > 0:27:40- It's not Alex, is it? - Of course it's not Alex.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44It's Gabriel's. HE GASPS
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Wow.
0:27:47 > 0:27:48- Does Gabriel know?- No, no-one does.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50And I want it to stay that way.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52What about your mum? She'll figure it out. She's no daft.
0:27:52 > 0:27:56I'll just deal with that closer to the time.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59I'm still trying to get my head round all this. I mean...
0:27:59 > 0:28:00It's so soon after David.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06What you need is something to take your mind off all of this
0:28:06 > 0:28:09and, luckily for you, I know just the guy for the job.
0:28:13 > 0:28:14Have we come to the right place?
0:28:16 > 0:28:19Aw, Liz. HE CHUCKLES
0:28:20 > 0:28:24- See if this falls through tonight, I will happily marry you.- Oh!
0:28:24 > 0:28:25Away ye go!
0:28:26 > 0:28:28Cheers, lads.
0:28:28 > 0:28:31AJ, your first duty as best man...
0:28:31 > 0:28:34is to help me organise these chairs.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36So what's next on the list?
0:28:36 > 0:28:39If the Home Office come calling, throw them a dummy.
0:28:39 > 0:28:44Home Office? Wait a minute. Is this wedding totally legit?
0:28:44 > 0:28:45Well, kind of.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47Me and Cassie have come to a wee arrangement
0:28:47 > 0:28:49- so that she can stay in the country. - Right.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52See, it's not really my style to aid and assist people
0:28:52 > 0:28:55- in breaking the law. - We're not breaking it.
0:28:55 > 0:28:56We're refurbishing it.
0:28:56 > 0:28:59All the same, I'd rather comport my best man at a genuine wedding,
0:28:59 > 0:29:00so if you don't mind...
0:29:02 > 0:29:04- So you're not coming?- Certainly not.
0:29:04 > 0:29:08- There's a free bar. - Well, only the first drink's free.
0:29:08 > 0:29:09Then no.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11HE SIGHS
0:29:18 > 0:29:21Dad, can we go? Please?
0:29:21 > 0:29:22You said you'd cover the bar,
0:29:22 > 0:29:25so if you get this, will you call me immediately?
0:29:25 > 0:29:27If not, then...
0:29:28 > 0:29:30..thanks for letting us down.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Erm, same again?
0:29:33 > 0:29:35Dad, the meeting starts in half an hour.
0:29:35 > 0:29:38I know, I know. I'll...I'll find someone else.
0:29:45 > 0:29:47Hi, it's me.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51I need a really big favour.
0:29:51 > 0:29:52Now.
0:30:08 > 0:30:10Is this more to your taste?
0:30:10 > 0:30:12It's attracting me.
0:30:12 > 0:30:14Thank God something is.
0:30:14 > 0:30:15Do we have a best man?
0:30:15 > 0:30:17We did, then we didn't, so we don't.
0:30:18 > 0:30:22So it is bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other on the day.
0:30:22 > 0:30:24You never know, Bob might still show.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26I don't think that's very likely.
0:30:27 > 0:30:31Not after I laid it out to that dumb blonde Ellie.
0:30:33 > 0:30:35"He's not that into you."
0:30:35 > 0:30:37Aw, man, you shouldn't have got involved!
0:30:37 > 0:30:39You need to apologise to him.
0:30:39 > 0:30:41Yeah, I probably do, don't I?
0:30:43 > 0:30:46Which is why you're going to do it.
0:30:46 > 0:30:47- Me?- You're his friend.
0:30:47 > 0:30:49You know how to speak that grunt language of his.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52So it's bad enough that I have to clean up this mess -
0:30:52 > 0:30:53now I have to clean up yours?
0:30:53 > 0:30:54Just get him here.
0:30:56 > 0:30:57HE SIGHS
0:30:57 > 0:31:00Don't speak to anybody else while I'm gone!
0:31:12 > 0:31:15See? I told you. Everybody feels better once they've had their hair done.
0:31:15 > 0:31:17Thanks, Robbie. You're a wizard.
0:31:17 > 0:31:19- IN CALIFORNIAN ACCENT: - "Because you're worth it."
0:31:19 > 0:31:21I do look like I could be going to a premiere, don't I?
0:31:21 > 0:31:24Well, there is that wedding at the pop-up bar tonight.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26Want to be my plus one? And a half.
0:31:26 > 0:31:28I'm not sure if I'm ready for all that yet.
0:31:28 > 0:31:31- And I'm getting pretty tired these days.- No wonder.
0:31:31 > 0:31:33Building a wean fair takes it out you,
0:31:33 > 0:31:34- or so I'm told. - DOOR OPENS
0:31:34 > 0:31:36Listen, promise me you won't tell anyone, no' yet.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38Mum's the word. Or not.
0:31:38 > 0:31:40Did somebody say "Mum"?
0:31:40 > 0:31:41Taking my name in vain.
0:31:42 > 0:31:45Robbie, you never telt me Katy Perry was coming round!
0:31:45 > 0:31:47- Aw, behave yourself. - Aye, you're right.
0:31:47 > 0:31:49She's no' got nothing on you.
0:31:49 > 0:31:52- You look lovely. Are you going to this wedding tonight?- Naw!
0:31:52 > 0:31:54You look gorgeous.
0:31:54 > 0:31:55You cannae waste it on a night in with me.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58I'll watch Callum. You go out and enjoy yourself.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00- You deserve it.- Amen to that.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Right, I'll think about it.
0:32:03 > 0:32:05I do scrub up all right, don't I?
0:32:05 > 0:32:08- You're a good man, Robbie. - One tries!
0:32:08 > 0:32:09Gary's very lucky.
0:32:09 > 0:32:11Aye, he certainly is. Oh, my God!
0:32:14 > 0:32:16- Five missed calls. - What is it? What's happened?
0:32:16 > 0:32:18I was meant to be looking after the bar for him.
0:32:18 > 0:32:19- You'd better go! - He's going to kill me.
0:32:23 > 0:32:26A peach schnapps and lemonade? That to drink with your play-piece?
0:32:26 > 0:32:29Come back to me when you've got some hair on your face.
0:32:32 > 0:32:35How long were you in that toilet for, missus?
0:32:35 > 0:32:37Vindaloo last night?
0:32:37 > 0:32:39Well, as long as you washed your hands.
0:32:42 > 0:32:45- Is Gary...?- Aye, he's just back from the school with Jenny.
0:32:45 > 0:32:46Where were you skiving off to?
0:32:46 > 0:32:50Hurricane Adams pure blew me down the street. Is he mad?
0:32:50 > 0:32:51You know Gary. He doesnae get mad.
0:32:51 > 0:32:55He just goes silent and lets you know how disappointed in you he is.
0:32:55 > 0:32:56That's even worse.
0:32:56 > 0:32:59- He's going to make curtains out of your skin.- Oh, God!
0:33:01 > 0:33:04Hi! Did everything go all right today?
0:33:07 > 0:33:08Oh, no, what happened?
0:33:08 > 0:33:09It turned out fine.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12The school says they'll represent me to the exam board.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14That's great!
0:33:14 > 0:33:16- Well done.- Thank you.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18No, don't thank him.
0:33:19 > 0:33:22I really needed you today, Robbie. So did Jenny and...
0:33:23 > 0:33:24..you let us both down.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27I know, I just got caught up with Kelly-Marie.
0:33:27 > 0:33:30She's a bit fragile since she lost her job here.
0:33:30 > 0:33:33Well, it's clear where your priorities are.
0:33:33 > 0:33:36- Sorry.- It's not me you should be apologising to.
0:33:36 > 0:33:37Sorry, Jenny.
0:33:42 > 0:33:45The more you give, Robbie, the more she'll take.
0:33:45 > 0:33:47It won't happen again!
0:33:47 > 0:33:50I'll...put Kelly-Marie on the back burner for a while.
0:33:50 > 0:33:52How's that?
0:34:01 > 0:34:03BOB SIGHS
0:34:03 > 0:34:07Listen, things have got way out of hand and I just...
0:34:07 > 0:34:09I just want you there the night, all right?
0:34:09 > 0:34:12A bit late for that. Not after Cassie poisoned Ellie against me.
0:34:12 > 0:34:14Aye, cos you two were getting on just fine up till then.
0:34:14 > 0:34:16It's nothing I couldn't have sorted out,
0:34:16 > 0:34:18but Cassie had to open her big mouth.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20- But that's what she does, isn't it? - Right, that is enough.
0:34:20 > 0:34:23She's making you dance about like a daftie.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26- Now she's set Ellie on a crusade against me.- Exactly.
0:34:26 > 0:34:29Your problem is with Ellie, not me.
0:34:29 > 0:34:31Cassie's a decent person that just wants to stay in this country.
0:34:31 > 0:34:33You're letting her come between us.
0:34:33 > 0:34:36You've just met her and suddenly it's like I don't matter.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38All I'm hearing from you is jealousy and spite.
0:34:38 > 0:34:40Oh, is that what you think of me, then, aye?
0:34:40 > 0:34:42No.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46Here's what I think of you - you're petty and small.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48You're an angry wee man that gets eaten up inside
0:34:48 > 0:34:51- at other people's happiness. - Is that so?
0:34:51 > 0:34:53Well, if you think that little of me,
0:34:53 > 0:34:55maybe I'll just give the Home Office a wee phone.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57- You wouldn't dae that. - Somebody has to stop her.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01- Go, then.- What?- Go. Phone them.
0:35:02 > 0:35:03I want to see you dae it.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05I want to see what kind of man you are.
0:35:07 > 0:35:09All right, then, I will.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11HE DIALS
0:35:16 > 0:35:19Hello, can I have the number for the UK Home Office, please?
0:35:21 > 0:35:25Aye, just put me straight through.
0:35:25 > 0:35:27Department of Immigration, please.
0:35:29 > 0:35:33Aye, hello, I just want to report a fake wedding.
0:35:33 > 0:35:34Unbelievable.
0:35:35 > 0:35:39Aye, it's taking place in Glasgow this evening.
0:35:39 > 0:35:40Aye, I'll hold.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43You know what?
0:35:43 > 0:35:45I'll sue you for the five grand.
0:35:45 > 0:35:46- BOB SCOFFS - How American.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57I don't know if I want to do this pre-wedding drinks thing
0:35:57 > 0:35:59with you and Angel.
0:35:59 > 0:36:01I mean, what if you don't show up?
0:36:01 > 0:36:02Ha-ha(!)
0:36:02 > 0:36:04- SHE KNOCKS - Hiya.
0:36:04 > 0:36:07Hey. Jenny said I could come straight up. Is that all right?
0:36:07 > 0:36:10Aye, you're here now, so I suppose it'll need to be.
0:36:10 > 0:36:14Look, Gary, don't blame Robbie for what happened - it was my fault.
0:36:15 > 0:36:17I needed him.
0:36:17 > 0:36:18What did you need him for?
0:36:18 > 0:36:21To shake the can of hairspray?
0:36:21 > 0:36:23He was just being a friend.
0:36:23 > 0:36:24It's me, I just...
0:36:25 > 0:36:26..need looking after.
0:36:28 > 0:36:32It's been a trying day for us all, let's just put it down to that.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36Do you know what would make this situation 100 times better?
0:36:36 > 0:36:37A wedding!
0:36:37 > 0:36:40- I'm still not sure about that. - Come on!
0:36:40 > 0:36:43Me and Gary are going to go for pre-wedding drinks at Angel's flat.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45- Don't you mean your flat?- No.
0:36:45 > 0:36:47I've, erm...
0:36:47 > 0:36:48I moved in here with Gary.
0:36:48 > 0:36:52- I was going to tell you... - But you didnae.
0:36:52 > 0:36:56So, I don't really feel like going to "Angel's" flat.
0:36:56 > 0:36:59Look, you're my friend, she's my friend.
0:36:59 > 0:37:02I cannae be exclusive to any one of you, that's not fair.
0:37:02 > 0:37:06- Don't make me choose again. - I think you already have.- Kelly!
0:37:11 > 0:37:13Ooft! Watch yourself, that rain cloud over your heid
0:37:13 > 0:37:14is going to get the wean wet.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17I'm scunnered with all this nonsense with Angus.
0:37:17 > 0:37:19He thinks he's "turning a corner". Aye, straight into a bus lane.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Are yous two still arguing about this?
0:37:21 > 0:37:23It's went a bit beyond an argument.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25How, what happened?
0:37:25 > 0:37:28He's raging because I phoned the Home Office.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30- You did whit?!- Don't you start, eh?
0:37:30 > 0:37:33He's the one that's screwing everything up, no' me!
0:37:34 > 0:37:36I thought he said he'd always be there for me.
0:37:36 > 0:37:39- Aye, but...- No, but Angel rings the bell and he goes running to her.
0:37:39 > 0:37:41After me going over there to bail him out an' all!
0:37:41 > 0:37:42Maybe he was just thinking...
0:37:42 > 0:37:45Do you know, Gary would still no' be talking to him,
0:37:45 > 0:37:47- but I ask him to skip drinks with Angel...- Kelly-Marie!
0:37:47 > 0:37:49Every time that woman's name comes up,
0:37:49 > 0:37:51a Tasmanian devil comes out of you.
0:37:51 > 0:37:52So you're taking her side now?
0:37:52 > 0:37:54Of course not, but she made a mistake.
0:37:54 > 0:37:57- Folk deserve a second chance. - A second chance?
0:37:57 > 0:37:58That's what I gave Alex,
0:37:58 > 0:38:01and then when my back's turned, he jumps into bed with that tramp.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03Alex uses folk.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05He did it to you and, for all we know, he did it to her.
0:38:05 > 0:38:07If you want Robbie in your life,
0:38:07 > 0:38:09you're going to have to forgive Angel.
0:38:09 > 0:38:10I don't know if I can.
0:38:11 > 0:38:15For so long, hating her is the only thing I've been able to feel.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18See without that, I've nothing.
0:38:19 > 0:38:21- I'm just empty.- Kelly...
0:38:22 > 0:38:26..you've got me, you've got Callum, you've got the whole family.
0:38:27 > 0:38:31And soon enough, you're going to have another wee one to think about.
0:38:31 > 0:38:32How did you know?
0:38:32 > 0:38:34Did Robbie say something?
0:38:34 > 0:38:36I guessed a few weeks ago, darling.
0:38:36 > 0:38:37Mammies know they things.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41Oh, Mum, what am I going to dae?
0:38:44 > 0:38:47After David, I-I don't know if I can handle this.
0:38:47 > 0:38:48Of course you can.
0:38:48 > 0:38:51I'll be with you every step of the way.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54Now, this wee baby needs you to be strong,
0:38:54 > 0:38:56so you need to sort your heid out.
0:38:56 > 0:38:59Don't be wasting your time on stuff that just doesnae matter.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02You can't have any bad blood hanging over you, Kelly.
0:39:02 > 0:39:06Robbie is your best pal and you're going to need him,
0:39:06 > 0:39:08so you need to bury the hatchet with Angel.
0:39:08 > 0:39:10And I don't mean in her skull.
0:39:12 > 0:39:16Everything's going to be all right, darling. I promise you.
0:39:22 > 0:39:25"It's great that you are all here today,
0:39:25 > 0:39:27"which is why it is especially sad that..."
0:39:29 > 0:39:30HE SIGHS
0:39:32 > 0:39:35"It is with immense sorrow and deep regret that I announce..."
0:39:42 > 0:39:45"All right, everybody, the wedding's off.
0:39:45 > 0:39:46"Beat it."
0:39:50 > 0:39:51HE SIGHS
0:39:51 > 0:39:53Ta-da!
0:39:53 > 0:39:55Awww!
0:39:56 > 0:40:00It's weird, it's almost like it could actually happen.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02You'd better hope it happens!
0:40:02 > 0:40:04Yeah, it is what it is, right? It's an arrangement, whatever,
0:40:04 > 0:40:08but still, as soon as you're into that wedding dress...
0:40:08 > 0:40:09it's serious.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12- You look amazing.- Thank you!
0:40:14 > 0:40:15Are you crying?
0:40:15 > 0:40:17- No, I'm fine, don't be daft. - What's wrong?
0:40:19 > 0:40:21It's Patrick.
0:40:24 > 0:40:25One minute, I think we're fine,
0:40:25 > 0:40:28the next, he's refusing to be near me.
0:40:28 > 0:40:31"Want to hang out?" "No." "OK, see ya."
0:40:31 > 0:40:32That's how you deal with it.
0:40:32 > 0:40:34But I really like him.
0:40:34 > 0:40:36What is it with Scottish women?
0:40:36 > 0:40:38You just don't get it.
0:40:38 > 0:40:39Dump his ass.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41Then you'll find out how committed he is.
0:40:41 > 0:40:42I don't want to dump him.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44Well, then, shut up about it.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47SHE CHUCKLES
0:40:50 > 0:40:54Am I too blunt? Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm too blunt.
0:40:54 > 0:40:55You are.
0:40:55 > 0:40:57But you're also right.
0:40:57 > 0:40:58You know it.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00Mmm-hmm!
0:41:02 > 0:41:03So, you're feeling better?
0:41:03 > 0:41:05I have good days and bad days.
0:41:06 > 0:41:09On the good days, I think I'm lucky to be alive.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12On the bad ones...
0:41:12 > 0:41:13I wish I wasn't.
0:41:16 > 0:41:20Oh, never mind old misery guts and his ailments.
0:41:20 > 0:41:23At your age, I'd have been rolling my eyes.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25Don't be daft, I'm just glad you're all right.
0:41:25 > 0:41:27That's very kind of you, Patrick,
0:41:27 > 0:41:30but I'm sure you must have better things to do with your time.
0:41:30 > 0:41:31Not at all.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35I've got nothing on, I'm free all night.
0:41:39 > 0:41:40Right,
0:41:40 > 0:41:42let's take a look at these photies,
0:41:42 > 0:41:45just to see how dull my life is in comparison.
0:41:46 > 0:41:50Ah, that was me with an old friend of mine.
0:41:50 > 0:41:52Haven't spoken to him in 30 years.
0:41:52 > 0:41:54My God, he might even be dead by now.
0:41:55 > 0:41:59Just think, before photos... people just...
0:41:59 > 0:42:01forgot things that happened to them.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03Memories just...
0:42:04 > 0:42:06..disappeared, like the past never happened.
0:42:09 > 0:42:13- Sometimes I think that's better. - Something on your mind, Patrick?
0:42:15 > 0:42:16Ach, just...
0:42:18 > 0:42:20..the time I spent in care.
0:42:22 > 0:42:23It never leaves you.
0:42:26 > 0:42:27I wish I could just...
0:42:28 > 0:42:32- ..erase everything up here. - But things are better for you now.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35I've seen you stepping out with Angel.
0:42:35 > 0:42:38- Aye, she's something. - She's more than something.
0:42:39 > 0:42:43Listen, I've been a selfish man all my life, Patrick.
0:42:43 > 0:42:46Always out for myself.
0:42:46 > 0:42:49But that heart attack was karma, divine justice.
0:42:49 > 0:42:51Don't be daft.
0:42:51 > 0:42:53It's because I left you on your own in the gym.
0:42:53 > 0:42:54No other reason.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57I woke up having touched the face of death.
0:42:59 > 0:43:02Every mistake I've ever made is now clear to me.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07- I know how that feels. - Then listen to me, son.
0:43:08 > 0:43:12Life needs to be about other people.
0:43:12 > 0:43:13That's what counts.
0:43:18 > 0:43:20- Ooh, that hits the spot. - SHE CHUCKLES
0:43:20 > 0:43:23Is Patrick coming round or are we just going to meet him there?
0:43:23 > 0:43:25He's probably just finishing up getting ready.
0:43:25 > 0:43:28Just...maybe we give him five minutes?
0:43:28 > 0:43:30Och, I'm sure he'll be here soon.
0:43:30 > 0:43:34Well, if he isn't, I'll wait.
0:43:34 > 0:43:37No sense in all of us turning up to a wedding fashionably late.
0:43:37 > 0:43:39- KNOCK AT DOOR - As if by magic!
0:43:43 > 0:43:44HE MOUTHS SILENTLY
0:43:48 > 0:43:50- Oh, it's you.- Can I come in?
0:43:52 > 0:43:53Please?
0:43:58 > 0:43:59Right.
0:44:02 > 0:44:04Hey.
0:44:04 > 0:44:07Erm, I was just wondering if I could join yous.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09Of course you can.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12I knew you wouldn't let that hairdo go to waste.
0:44:12 > 0:44:15I'll get you a drink. What are you having?
0:44:15 > 0:44:16Orange juice, please.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18I'm pacing myself.
0:44:18 > 0:44:22Very wise. I should be doing the same but I'm no'.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24More wine, please! Ha-ha!
0:44:26 > 0:44:28I'll go and...help him pour that wine.
0:44:33 > 0:44:34So, is-is Patrick coming?
0:44:37 > 0:44:38You'd think.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40Well, I'm sure he's on his way.
0:44:41 > 0:44:42Yeah.
0:44:46 > 0:44:48- Listen, Angel...- Save it.
0:44:49 > 0:44:52You can chuck me out of the Tall Ship, but not out of my own flat.
0:44:57 > 0:44:59ROMANTIC MUSIC
0:45:00 > 0:45:02- GUESTS:- Aww! - APPLAUSE
0:45:12 > 0:45:14You look amazing.
0:45:14 > 0:45:16That's the first time you've said something romantic to me
0:45:16 > 0:45:18as though you meant it.
0:45:18 > 0:45:19That's because I do mean it.
0:45:22 > 0:45:25Well, we've got the bride, the groom, the guests, the venue,
0:45:25 > 0:45:26the registrar.
0:45:26 > 0:45:27The dress.
0:45:29 > 0:45:31There's a "but" coming, isn't there?
0:45:31 > 0:45:34But we don't have the best man.
0:45:34 > 0:45:35It's worse than that.
0:45:36 > 0:45:38Bob phoned the Home Office.
0:45:39 > 0:45:41(He did what?!)
0:45:41 > 0:45:43(Are they coming here?)
0:45:43 > 0:45:44I would imagine so.
0:45:46 > 0:45:48Who's that dude?
0:45:48 > 0:45:49Who?
0:45:54 > 0:45:55I don't recognise him.
0:45:55 > 0:45:58He sure is asking plenty of questions.
0:45:58 > 0:45:59What if that's them?
0:46:00 > 0:46:03- Maybe one of the guests brought him along?- Aye, maybe.
0:46:03 > 0:46:04It was a fairly open invite.
0:46:06 > 0:46:08There's nothing we can do now.
0:46:08 > 0:46:11- We've just got to put our game faces on and get married.- No.
0:46:13 > 0:46:15We can't go through with this.
0:46:17 > 0:46:18Hi, Robbie.
0:46:18 > 0:46:20Yeah, that's me on my way.
0:46:20 > 0:46:22No...just me.
0:46:33 > 0:46:34Shall we?
0:46:36 > 0:46:37I thought you'd never ask.
0:46:48 > 0:46:51- This is great!- Hiya!
0:46:51 > 0:46:52Thanks for coming.
0:46:52 > 0:46:55Ooh, very chic. I like it.
0:46:55 > 0:46:58- I've got an eye for good design. - Angus, you look so smart.
0:46:58 > 0:47:02- I might have a tear in my eye later. - So will I, when I get the bill!
0:47:02 > 0:47:04My brother being fashionably late, as usual?
0:47:04 > 0:47:06That's one way to put it, aye.
0:47:06 > 0:47:08Just what you need from your best man, eh?
0:47:08 > 0:47:09- Shall we get a drink?- Aye.
0:47:16 > 0:47:19I don't care what you say, we are going through with this.
0:47:19 > 0:47:22I am not letting some government bureaucrat spoil my big day.
0:47:22 > 0:47:23And I'm not ending up in the slammer
0:47:23 > 0:47:26so you can twirl about in your frock.
0:47:26 > 0:47:28Hey, we had a deal.
0:47:28 > 0:47:30- A wedding was part of that deal. - I'm sorry...
0:47:32 > 0:47:33..it's not happening.
0:47:38 > 0:47:40Can I have everyone's attention, please?
0:47:42 > 0:47:45Thank you all so much for coming out at such short notice today.
0:47:45 > 0:47:48It really means a lot to Cassie and myself.
0:47:48 > 0:47:52- And doesn't she look gorgeous? - Yes.- She certainly does.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55Now, it really was important to us
0:47:55 > 0:47:57that we had a really great turnout for today,
0:47:57 > 0:47:59of all the best people,
0:47:59 > 0:48:01for the opening of this new pop-up bar.
0:48:02 > 0:48:04I wanted it to be really special.
0:48:04 > 0:48:06We both did.
0:48:07 > 0:48:10So that's why we decided to have our "pop-up" wedding here as well.
0:48:12 > 0:48:15But...unfortunately,
0:48:15 > 0:48:16I'm afraid I'm going to have to...
0:48:16 > 0:48:18Call this a wedding?
0:48:18 > 0:48:21It's not a wedding till the best man's here.
0:48:21 > 0:48:23GUESTS MUTTER
0:48:25 > 0:48:27- You've got some nerve showing up here.- Listen, mate,
0:48:27 > 0:48:29all this with Ellie, it's been eating away at me.
0:48:29 > 0:48:31I couldn't think straight.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33That's all well and good, but what about the Home Office coming down?
0:48:33 > 0:48:35I couldn't do it, mate.
0:48:35 > 0:48:37They tried to phone me back to get the details,
0:48:37 > 0:48:40but I just never lifted the phone.
0:48:40 > 0:48:42What do you want, the Victoria Cross?
0:48:42 > 0:48:45- I needed you the day and you put me through hell.- I know.
0:48:45 > 0:48:47- I was just angry at you.- For what?
0:48:48 > 0:48:51Following my dreams or trying to be happy?
0:48:51 > 0:48:53To be honest, aye.
0:48:53 > 0:48:56I don't need to agree with your decision, but I need to respect it.
0:48:56 > 0:48:58Forget about Ellie, forget about Cassie.
0:48:59 > 0:49:01I just couldnae bear the thought of losing you.
0:49:01 > 0:49:03Aye, don't break into song.
0:49:05 > 0:49:08I'll tell you, Bob, you are really hard work at times.
0:49:12 > 0:49:14But you're still my pal.
0:49:14 > 0:49:17- So, if you don't mind, can I get married now?- Aye.
0:49:21 > 0:49:22We are gathered together
0:49:22 > 0:49:25to witness the formal joining of Cassie and Angus.
0:49:34 > 0:49:37I, Angus Peter Lindsay...
0:49:38 > 0:49:43..take you, Cassie Andrea Evans, to be my lawfully-wedded wife.
0:49:51 > 0:49:54I, Cassie Andrea Evans,
0:49:54 > 0:50:01take you, Angus Peter Lindsay, to be my lawfully-wedded husband.
0:50:01 > 0:50:05# Come sail your ships around me
0:50:07 > 0:50:11# And burn your bridges down
0:50:14 > 0:50:18# We make a little history, baby
0:50:20 > 0:50:24# Every time you come around
0:50:28 > 0:50:32# Come loose your dogs upon me
0:50:35 > 0:50:38# And let your hair hang down WHOOPING
0:50:41 > 0:50:46# You are a little mystery to me... #
0:50:48 > 0:50:50DANCE MUSIC, CHATTER
0:51:00 > 0:51:03INDISTINCT CHATTER
0:51:05 > 0:51:07I'll get it.
0:51:07 > 0:51:09Excuse me, mate, can I have another glass of champagne?
0:51:09 > 0:51:11Turned out all right, didn't it?
0:51:11 > 0:51:13For a sham wedding you were boycotting.
0:51:14 > 0:51:16I'm glad I came.
0:51:16 > 0:51:17I'm glad you did too.
0:51:19 > 0:51:22- Do you want a drink?- Yeah.
0:51:22 > 0:51:24What do you want?
0:51:24 > 0:51:25You decide.
0:51:26 > 0:51:28Pint of heavy it is, then.
0:51:50 > 0:51:52Look, if you're going to give me
0:51:52 > 0:51:55the big speech about how I'd better not hurt your brother, just save it.
0:51:55 > 0:51:58Naw, I wisnae going to say that.
0:51:58 > 0:52:01What I was going to say is that it's good to see him smiling
0:52:01 > 0:52:03and happy for once.
0:52:03 > 0:52:04Right.
0:52:06 > 0:52:07Sorry.
0:52:09 > 0:52:11You really like him, don't you?
0:52:13 > 0:52:15I really do.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20Kelly-Marie, if I could change everything
0:52:20 > 0:52:21that happened between Alex and me, I would,
0:52:21 > 0:52:24- but I can't...- Angel, listen,
0:52:24 > 0:52:26we're never going to be close friends.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28But I need to be able to wake up in the morning
0:52:28 > 0:52:30and not hate you, or else I'm finished.
0:52:32 > 0:52:33So...
0:52:36 > 0:52:38..forgive me for not forgiving you.
0:52:41 > 0:52:42Please.
0:52:46 > 0:52:49- CHUCKLING:- I've been waiting a long time for you to say that.
0:52:52 > 0:52:55And the job in the treatment room is yours.
0:52:55 > 0:52:56If you want it.
0:52:59 > 0:53:01Oh, aye, what's going on here?
0:53:01 > 0:53:03The Berlin Wall come down again?
0:53:04 > 0:53:05Come here, you.
0:53:10 > 0:53:12Right, you better not hurt him!
0:53:16 > 0:53:19MUSIC: Over And Over by Hot Chip
0:53:25 > 0:53:28Ah, Mrs Lindsay.
0:53:28 > 0:53:30How are you this evening?
0:53:30 > 0:53:32Mrs Lindsay?
0:53:32 > 0:53:33I'll tell you what,
0:53:33 > 0:53:37you can call me that if the Home Office is around, but only then.
0:53:37 > 0:53:38Fair enough.
0:53:38 > 0:53:42How about "my darling cherry blossom"?
0:53:42 > 0:53:44- Yuck!- Mmm!
0:53:45 > 0:53:50Well, I wouldn't exactly say it went off without a hitch,
0:53:50 > 0:53:51but it went off.
0:53:51 > 0:53:53Oh, there was a hitch.
0:53:53 > 0:53:55We got married!
0:53:55 > 0:53:57And opened a bar!
0:53:58 > 0:54:01Well, it might have opened, but it's still got to launch.
0:54:03 > 0:54:05This is going to be a long night.
0:54:05 > 0:54:07Yeah, our idea worked.
0:54:07 > 0:54:10- Oh, so it's OUR idea now, is it? - Exactly.
0:54:10 > 0:54:11When it works, it's our idea,
0:54:11 > 0:54:14and, if it doesn't work, it's your idea.
0:54:14 > 0:54:16So here's another idea.
0:54:16 > 0:54:18How about we kiss again in front of all these people?
0:54:18 > 0:54:20For the Home Office?
0:54:20 > 0:54:21Just to keep up appearances.
0:54:25 > 0:54:28- GUESTS:- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
0:54:33 > 0:54:37So was that my idea, or our idea?
0:54:37 > 0:54:38I can't remember.
0:54:41 > 0:54:42I've been thinking...
0:54:42 > 0:54:45wouldn't it look weird if we left here and went to different beds?
0:54:45 > 0:54:47SHE CHORTLES
0:54:47 > 0:54:48Don't push it.
0:54:49 > 0:54:52- A dance instead?- A dance is fine.
0:54:52 > 0:54:54I'll pretend like I'm enjoying it.
0:54:57 > 0:55:00MUSIC: Galvanize by The Chemical Brothers
0:55:01 > 0:55:04- Tune!- Hee-hee!
0:55:06 > 0:55:09Listen, I'm really sorry the way I've been recently.
0:55:09 > 0:55:11It's forgotten. Don't worry about it.
0:55:12 > 0:55:14Do you know what?
0:55:14 > 0:55:16I think this could be a fresh start for me.
0:55:16 > 0:55:18In mair ways than one.
0:55:18 > 0:55:20If you need anything, I'm here.
0:55:20 > 0:55:23Just fire up the Bat-Signal and I'll come running in my cape.
0:55:23 > 0:55:24I'm so proud of you.
0:55:24 > 0:55:26I couldn't have done it without you.
0:55:26 > 0:55:28- Know what else you couldn't do without me?- Whit?
0:55:28 > 0:55:30This! Whoo!
0:55:30 > 0:55:31Whoohoo!
0:55:35 > 0:55:38Do you know what? It was actually quite romantic, wasn't it?
0:55:38 > 0:55:41See? I telt ye, you don't know what's real and what's no'.
0:55:41 > 0:55:42Still trying to work it out.
0:55:42 > 0:55:44I'm gonnae get another drink. Ye want anything?
0:55:44 > 0:55:46Eh, just a glass of water.
0:55:46 > 0:55:47- Cheap date.- Mm-hm.
0:55:55 > 0:55:57Can I have a word?
0:55:57 > 0:55:58Aye, of course you can.
0:56:02 > 0:56:06- What's up?- Look, you know exactly what you're doing, don't you?
0:56:06 > 0:56:07Excuse me?
0:56:07 > 0:56:10You can't just pick Bob up and put him back down again like a toy.
0:56:10 > 0:56:13What you're doing to him isn't fair.
0:56:13 > 0:56:16Ellie, Bob's a grown man, he can talk to who he wants.
0:56:16 > 0:56:19Bob's a nice guy. He's letting you live in his flat.
0:56:19 > 0:56:21He'd never see you and the baby out in the street.
0:56:21 > 0:56:23That's why, if you're not actually in love with him,
0:56:23 > 0:56:26- you need to back away. - Do you actually realise
0:56:26 > 0:56:28how paranoid and insecure you sound?
0:56:28 > 0:56:30Maybe if you got your heid together,
0:56:30 > 0:56:32then he wouldn't need to come to me for advice.
0:56:32 > 0:56:35- Oh, here he is! Hugh Hefner. - What's going on?- Do you know, Bob,
0:56:35 > 0:56:37I've been asking myself exactly the same thing.
0:56:37 > 0:56:39She's got it into her head that I'm leading you on.
0:56:39 > 0:56:41- Whoa. Ellie, you've got it all wrong.- Really?
0:56:41 > 0:56:44And yet here you are with her, and not with me.
0:56:44 > 0:56:45You wouldnae talk to me!
0:56:45 > 0:56:48All I was trying to do was get you to see things more clearly.
0:56:48 > 0:56:49Oh, I can see clearly enough.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51In fact, my eyes are wide open.
0:56:51 > 0:56:54See seeing as you're the one he keeps coming to for advice,
0:56:54 > 0:56:55he's your responsibility.
0:56:55 > 0:56:57Wait a wee minute, Ellie. What exactly are you saying?
0:56:57 > 0:56:59I'm saying if you want a wee dog, Stella, you can feed him
0:56:59 > 0:57:01- and take him out for walks. - STELLA GUFFAWS
0:57:01 > 0:57:02I'm done.
0:57:02 > 0:57:05Ellie!
0:57:05 > 0:57:06STELLA SIGHS
0:57:06 > 0:57:07Well...
0:57:09 > 0:57:10..that's that, then.
0:57:10 > 0:57:12Is she actually for real?
0:57:12 > 0:57:15She actually thinks that we're up to something.
0:57:15 > 0:57:16I know! It's ridiculous.
0:57:17 > 0:57:19It's not like we even got on that well half the time
0:57:19 > 0:57:22when we were together.
0:57:22 > 0:57:23I know. All that arguing.
0:57:23 > 0:57:25All that fighting.
0:57:28 > 0:57:31- Where did that leave us, eh? - Exactly.
0:57:31 > 0:57:33We're baith still miserable.
0:57:35 > 0:57:36And alone.
0:57:36 > 0:57:39MUSIC: Blame It On Me by George Ezra
0:57:42 > 0:57:44# What you waiting for
0:57:44 > 0:57:47# Now, what you waiting for?
0:57:48 > 0:57:51# What you waiting for
0:57:51 > 0:57:54# Now, what you waiting for? #
0:57:56 > 0:57:59- I can explain.- I think you'd better.
0:57:59 > 0:58:02It's not true, I wasn't involved.
0:58:02 > 0:58:05So why does she keep persecuting you, then?
0:58:05 > 0:58:07As if I would ever do such a thing.
0:58:07 > 0:58:09If I was guilty of anything, it was of turning a blind eye.
0:58:09 > 0:58:12Why don't you just do what you did the last time and kick me out,
0:58:12 > 0:58:14you heartless cow? This is all your fault. ALL OF IT!
0:58:14 > 0:58:17You sit there, playing the victim like some doddering old man!
0:58:17 > 0:58:20Talking about suffering, but you've got nae idea!
0:58:20 > 0:58:22Do you want know what suffering is, dae ye?!