0:00:02 > 0:00:04- 'Who are you?- Jim Moriarty.
0:00:04 > 0:00:05'Bye!
0:00:07 > 0:00:08'Consulting criminal.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14'I have loved this, this little game of ours.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17- 'People have died. - That's what people DO!'
0:00:22 > 0:00:23' will stop you.'
0:00:24 > 0:00:26If you don't stop prying...
0:00:28 > 0:00:29..I'll burn you.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32I will burn the heart out of you.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Catch you later.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43No, you won't!
0:00:47 > 0:00:48Sorry, boys!
0:00:50 > 0:00:51I'm SO changeable!
0:00:51 > 0:00:53It is a weakness with me,
0:00:53 > 0:00:56but to be fair to myself, it is my only weakness.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58You can't be allowed to continue.
0:01:00 > 0:01:01You just can't.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03I would try to convince you,
0:01:03 > 0:01:08but everything I have to say has already crossed your mind.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Probably my answer has crossed yours.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43MUSIC: "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Do you mind if I get that?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Oh, no, please.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58You've got the rest of your life.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01Hello?
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Yes, of course it is. What do you want?
0:02:10 > 0:02:12SAY THAT AGAIN!
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Say that again, and know that if you're lying to me,
0:02:17 > 0:02:19I will find you, and I will skin you.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Wait.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Sorry...
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Wrong day to die.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46'Oh.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Did you get a better offer?
0:02:51 > 0:02:54You'll be hearing from me, Sherlock.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03So if you have what you say you have, I will make you rich.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07If you don't,
0:03:07 > 0:03:10I'll make you into shoes.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11HE CLICKS HIS FINGERS
0:03:24 > 0:03:25What happened there?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Someone changed his mind.
0:03:31 > 0:03:32The question is...
0:03:33 > 0:03:35..who?
0:03:36 > 0:03:40- Well, now, have you been wicked, Your Highness? - WHIP CRACKS
0:03:40 > 0:03:48FEMALE VOICE: Yes, Miss Adler.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19POLICE CAR SIREN
0:04:26 > 0:04:28What are you typing?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30- Blog.- About?- Us.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32- You mean me.- Why?
0:04:32 > 0:04:34- HE COUGHS - Well, you're typing a lot.
0:04:36 > 0:04:37Right, then.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39So, what have we got?
0:04:41 > 0:04:46- My wife seems to be spending a very long time at the office.- Boring.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- I think my husband might be having an affair.- Yes.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53She's not my real aunt, she's been replaced.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54I know she has.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56- I know human ash.- Leave.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00We are prepared to offer any sum of money you care to mention
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- for the recovery of these files.- Boring.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06We have this website, it explains the true meaning of comic books,
0:05:06 > 0:05:08cos people miss a lot of the themes.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11But then all the comic books started coming true.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Oh...interesting.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Geek Interpreter, what's that?
0:05:18 > 0:05:20- That's the title. - What does it need a title for?
0:05:24 > 0:05:25Do people actually read your blog?
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- Where do you think our clients come from?- I have a website.
0:05:28 > 0:05:33In which you enumerate 240 different types of tobacco ash. Nobody's reading your website.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37Right then, dyed blonde hair, no obvious cause of death,
0:05:37 > 0:05:40except for these speckles, whatever they are.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Oh, for God's sakes!
0:05:47 > 0:05:49- What?- The Speckled Blonde?!
0:05:52 > 0:05:55They wouldn't let us see Granddad when he was dead.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Is that cos he'd gone to heaven?
0:05:57 > 0:05:59People don't really go to heaven when they die,
0:05:59 > 0:06:01they're taken to a special room and burned.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Sherlock...
0:06:03 > 0:06:06There was a plane crash in Dusseldorf yesterday.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- Everyone dead. - Suspected terrorist bomb.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11- We do watch the news. - You said "boring" and turned over.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15Well, according to the flight details, this man was checked in on board.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19Inside his coat he's got a stub from his boarding pass, napkins from the flight,
0:06:19 > 0:06:21even one of those special biscuits.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Here's his passport, stamped at Berlin Airport.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27So this man should have died in a plane crash in Germany yesterday,
0:06:27 > 0:06:29but instead he's in a car boot in Southwark.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Lucky escape.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Any ideas?
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Eight so far.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39OK, four ideas.
0:06:44 > 0:06:45Maybe two ideas.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50No, no, no, don't mention the unsolved ones.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53- People want to know you're human. - Why?
0:06:53 > 0:06:57- Because they're interested. - No, they're not. Why are they? - Hmm, look at that.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- 1,895.- Sorry, what?
0:07:00 > 0:07:04I reset that counter last night. This blog has had nearly 2,000 hits in the last eight hours.
0:07:04 > 0:07:09This is your living, Sherlock, not 240 different types of tobacco ash.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11243.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14So what's this one?
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Belly Button Murders?
0:07:16 > 0:07:17The Navel Treatment?
0:07:17 > 0:07:18Urgh!
0:07:19 > 0:07:23- There's a lot of press outside, guys.- Well, they won't be interested in us.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Yeah, that was before you were an internet phenomenon.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30A couple of them specifically wanted photographs of you two.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31God's sake!
0:07:32 > 0:07:33- John.- Hmm?
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Cover your face and walk fast.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Still, it's good for the public image,
0:07:39 > 0:07:41big case like this.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45I'm a private detective, the last thing I need is a public image.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Hello.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16I think it's time, don't you?
0:08:34 > 0:08:35Oh!
0:08:39 > 0:08:40Ugh!
0:08:40 > 0:08:41SHE SIGHS
0:08:42 > 0:08:43Oh!
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Oh, dear!
0:08:48 > 0:08:49Thumbs!?
0:08:51 > 0:08:54The door was...
0:08:54 > 0:08:55The door was...
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Boys! You've got another one!
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Ooh!
0:09:09 > 0:09:14Tell us from the start, DON'T be boring.
0:09:14 > 0:09:15ENGINE SPLUTTERS AND DIES
0:09:47 > 0:09:48ENGINE BACKFIRES
0:09:59 > 0:10:00HE SIGHS
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Hey!
0:10:11 > 0:10:12Are you OK?
0:10:14 > 0:10:15Excuse me!
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Are you all right?
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Sir, phone call for you.
0:10:31 > 0:10:32Carter.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35- 'Have you heard of Sherlock Holmes?' - Who?
0:10:35 > 0:10:39Well, you're about to meet him now. This is your case, it's entirely up to you, this is just...
0:10:39 > 0:10:43'..friendly advice, but give Sherlock five minutes on your crime scene,
0:10:43 > 0:10:47'and listen to everything that he has to say. And as far as possible...'
0:10:47 > 0:10:48..try not to punch him.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50OK.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54- Sir, this gentleman says he needs to speak to you...- Yes, I know.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55Sherlock Holmes.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58John Watson. Are you set up for wi-fi?
0:10:59 > 0:11:04'You realise this is a tiny bit humiliating?'
0:11:04 > 0:11:06It's OK, I'm fine.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07Now...
0:11:07 > 0:11:08..show me to the stream.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11'I didn't really mean for you.'
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Look, this is a six.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18There's no point in my leaving the flat for anything less than a seven, we agreed.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Now go back,
0:11:20 > 0:11:21show me the grass.
0:11:21 > 0:11:22When did we agree that?
0:11:22 > 0:11:25We agreed it yesterday. Stop!
0:11:25 > 0:11:29- 'Closer.'- I wasn't even at home yesterday. I was in Dublin.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32- It's hardly my fault you weren't listening. - DOORBELL RINGS
0:11:32 > 0:11:37- Shut up!- 'Do you just carry on talking when I'm away?'- I don't know, how often are you away?
0:11:37 > 0:11:38'Now...
0:11:38 > 0:11:40- '..show me the car that backfired. - WATSON SIGHS
0:11:40 > 0:11:41It's there.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43'that's the one that made the noise, yes?'
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Yeah.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49If you're thinking gunshot... '..there wasn't one.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50'He wasn't shot,
0:11:50 > 0:11:54'he was killed by a single blow to the back from a blunt instrument,
0:11:54 > 0:11:58'which then magically disappeared, along with the killer.'
0:11:58 > 0:12:00It's got to be an eight, at least.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04- You've got two more minutes, they want to know more about the driver. - Oh, forget him, he's an idiot.
0:12:04 > 0:12:08- Why else would he think himself a suspect?- I think he's a suspect.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12- 'Pass me over.'- All right, but there's a mute button, and I will use it.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Up a bit! I'm not talking from down here!
0:12:15 > 0:12:16OK. Just take it, take it.
0:12:16 > 0:12:20'Having successfully committed a crime without a single witness...'
0:12:20 > 0:12:23..why would he call the police and consult a detective?
0:12:23 > 0:12:26- Fair play?- He's trying to be clever. It's overconfidence. - SHERLOCK SIGHS
0:12:26 > 0:12:31Did you see him? Morbidly obese, the undisguised halitosis of a single man living on his own.
0:12:31 > 0:12:36The right sleeve of an internet porn addict, the breathing pattern of an untreated heart condition.
0:12:36 > 0:12:41Low self-esteem, tiny IQ and a limited life expectancy, and you think he's a criminal mastermind?!
0:12:41 > 0:12:44- Don't worry, this is just stupid. - What did you say? Heart what?
0:12:44 > 0:12:45Go to the stream.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47What's in the stream?
0:12:47 > 0:12:51- Go and see. - MRS HUDSON:- Sherlock! You weren't answering your doorbell.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55- His room's through the back, get him some clothes.- Who the hell are you?- Sorry, Mr Holmes...
0:12:55 > 0:13:01- 'Sherlock, what's going on?'- You're coming with us.- 'What's happening?' I've lost him. I don't know what...
0:13:01 > 0:13:05- Dr Watson?- Yeah.- It's for you. - OK, thanks.- No, sir, the helicopter.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21Please, Mr Holmes, where you're going you'll want to be dressed.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46I know exactly where I'm going.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42- You wearing any pants?- No.- OK.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52THEY LAUGH
0:14:53 > 0:14:56At Buckingham Palace. Right. HE COUGHS
0:14:56 > 0:15:00- Ha, ha.- Aah, aah, I am seriously fighting an impulse to steal an ashtray.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02SHERLOCK SNIGGERS
0:15:03 > 0:15:05HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:15:06 > 0:15:11- What are we doing here, Sherlock, seriously, what?- I don't know.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Here to see the Queen?
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Oh, apparently, yes.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18THEY LAUGH
0:15:18 > 0:15:22Just once, can you two behave like grown-ups?
0:15:22 > 0:15:26We solve crimes, I blog about it, and he forgets his pants. I wouldn't hold out too much hope.
0:15:26 > 0:15:30- I was in the middle of a case, Mycroft.- What, the hiker and the backfire?
0:15:30 > 0:15:35- I glanced at the police report, a bit obvious, surely?- Transparent. - Time to move on then.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:15:37 > 0:15:38HE SIGHS
0:15:38 > 0:15:43We are in Buckingham Palace, the very heart of the British nation.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46- Sherlock Holmes, put your trousers on!- What for?
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Your client.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50And my client is...?
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Illustrious, in the extreme.
0:15:53 > 0:15:58And remaining, I have to inform you, entirely anonymous.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00- Mycroft.- Harry.
0:16:00 > 0:16:05- May I just apologise for the state of my little brother. - A full-time occupation, I imagine.
0:16:05 > 0:16:10- And this must be Dr John Watson, formerly of the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers?- Hello, yes.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14- My employer is a tremendous fan of your blog.- Your employer?
0:16:14 > 0:16:18- Particularly enjoyed the one about the aluminium crutch.- Thank you. - Ahem...
0:16:18 > 0:16:20And Mr Holmes the Younger.
0:16:20 > 0:16:25- You look taller in your photographs. - I take the precaution of a good coat and a short friend.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Mycroft, I don't do anonymous clients.
0:16:27 > 0:16:32I'm used to mystery at one end of my cases, both ends is too much work. Good morning.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37This is a matter of national importance. Grow up!
0:16:37 > 0:16:39- Get off my sheet!- Or what?
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Or I'll just walk away.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43- I'll let you. - Boys, please... Not here.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47Who is my client?
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Take a look at where you're standing, and make a deduction.
0:16:50 > 0:16:55You are to be engaged by the highest in the land, now, for God's sake!
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Put your clothes on!
0:16:57 > 0:16:59SHERLOCK SIGHS
0:17:01 > 0:17:03I'll be mother.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06And there is a whole childhood in a nutshell.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11My employer has a problem.
0:17:12 > 0:17:17A matter has come to light of an extremely delicate and potentially criminal nature,
0:17:17 > 0:17:22- and in this hour of need, dear brother, your name has arisen.- Why?
0:17:22 > 0:17:25We have a police force of sorts, even a marginally secret service.
0:17:25 > 0:17:30- Why come to me?- People come to you for help, don't they, Mr Holmes? - Not to date anyone with a navy.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33This is a matter of the highest security, and therefore of trust.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36- You don't trust your own secret service?- Naturally not.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38They all spy on people for money.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40I do think we have a timetable.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Yes, of course. Erm...
0:17:45 > 0:17:47What do you know about this woman?
0:17:51 > 0:17:52Nothing whatsoever.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Then you should be paying more attention.
0:17:55 > 0:17:56MESSAGE TONE
0:17:56 > 0:18:00She's been at the centre of two political scandals in the last year,
0:18:00 > 0:18:04and recently ended the marriage of a prominent novelist
0:18:04 > 0:18:08by having an affair with both participants separately.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11You know I don't concern myself with trivia.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Who is she?
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Irene Adler.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19Professionally known as "The Woman".
0:18:19 > 0:18:20Professionally?
0:18:20 > 0:18:25There are many names for what she does. She prefers "dominatrix".
0:18:30 > 0:18:32- Dominatrix.- Don't be alarmed.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34It's to do with sex.
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Sex doesn't alarm me.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39How would you know?
0:18:39 > 0:18:42She provides, shall we say, recreational scolding
0:18:42 > 0:18:44for those who enjoy that sort of thing
0:18:44 > 0:18:46and are prepared to pay for it.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48These are all from her website.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16And I assume this Adler woman has some compromising photographs.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18You're very quick, Mr Holmes.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22Hardly a difficult deduction. Photographs of whom?
0:19:24 > 0:19:27A person of significance to my employer.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31- We'd prefer not to say any more at this time. - You can't tell us anything?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34I can tell you it's a young person.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37A young female person.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43How many photographs?
0:19:43 > 0:19:45A considerable number, apparently.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49- Do Miss Adler and this young female person appear in these photographs together?- Yes.
0:19:49 > 0:19:54- I assume in a number of compromising scenarios?- An imaginative range, we are assured.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57John, you might want to put that cup back in your saucer now.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01- Can you help us, Mr Holmes?- How? - Will you take the case?
0:20:01 > 0:20:02What case?
0:20:02 > 0:20:03Pay her, now and in full.
0:20:03 > 0:20:08As Miss Adler remarks in her masthead, know when you are beaten.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10She doesn't want anything.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12She got in touch.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15She informed us that the photographs existed.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17She indicated that she had no intention to use them
0:20:17 > 0:20:20to extort either money or favour.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Oh, a power play.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25A power play with the most powerful family in Britain.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29Now that is a dominatrix. Ooh, this is getting rather fun, isn't it.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31- Sherlock...- Hmm. Where is she?
0:20:31 > 0:20:36- In London, currently. She's staying...- Text me the details, I'll be in touch by the end of the day.
0:20:36 > 0:20:40- Do you really think you'll have news by then?- No, I think I'll have the photographs.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43One can only hope you're as good as you seem to think.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51- I'll need some equipment, of course. - Anything you require, I'll have it sent...
0:20:51 > 0:20:55- Can I have a box of matches?- I'm sorry?- Or your cigarette lighter, either will do.
0:20:55 > 0:20:59- I don't smoke.- No, I know you don't, but your employer does.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03We have kept a lot of people successfully in the dark
0:21:03 > 0:21:05about this little fact, Mr Holmes.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07I'm not the Commonwealth.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09And that's as modest as he gets.
0:21:09 > 0:21:10Pleasure to meet you.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Laters!
0:21:15 > 0:21:19OK, the smoking, how did you know?
0:21:20 > 0:21:23The evidence was right under your nose, John,
0:21:23 > 0:21:24as ever you see, but do not observe.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26- Observe what?- The ashtray.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28WATSON LAUGHS
0:21:29 > 0:21:30SHERLOCK CHUCKLES
0:21:30 > 0:21:31SOUND OF FLASHBULBS
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Kate?
0:21:39 > 0:21:42We're going to have a visitor.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44I'll need a bit of time to get ready.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46A long time?
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Hmm...ages.
0:22:04 > 0:22:05What are you doing?
0:22:05 > 0:22:07I'm going to into battle, John.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10I need the right armour.
0:22:10 > 0:22:11No.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12Nah.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Works for me.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Everything works on you.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18So, what's the plan?
0:22:18 > 0:22:20We know her address.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24- We just ring her doorbell? - Exactly. Just here, please. - You didn't even change your clothes.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Then it's time to add a splash of colour.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Are we here?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Two streets away, but this will do.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39- For what?- Punch me in the face.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Shade?
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Blood.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47- Punch you?- Yes, punch me, in the face. Didn't you hear me?
0:22:47 > 0:22:50I always hear "punch me" when you speak but it's usually sub-text.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Oh, for God's sakes!
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Thank you, that was...
0:23:03 > 0:23:05OK, I think we're done now, John!
0:23:05 > 0:23:09You want to remember, Sherlock, I was a soldier. I killed people.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11- You were a doctor! - I had bad days!
0:23:13 > 0:23:15What are you going to wear?
0:23:15 > 0:23:18- My battle dress.- Oh, lucky boy.
0:23:18 > 0:23:19BUZZER
0:23:23 > 0:23:26BELL RINGS
0:23:26 > 0:23:27Hello?
0:23:27 > 0:23:32Oh, very sorry to disturb you, um, I've just been attacked, um,
0:23:32 > 0:23:36um, and I think they, they took my wallet
0:23:36 > 0:23:39and, um, and my phone.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Um, please could you help me?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44I can phone the police, if you want?
0:23:44 > 0:23:49Thank you. Could you, please? Would you mind if I just waited here, just until they come?
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Thank you, thank you so much.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53BUZZER
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Thank you. Oh.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59I saw it all happen.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- It's OK, I'm a doctor. Have you got a first aid kit? - In the kitchen. Please.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04- Thank you.- Thank you.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Hello, sorry to hear you've been hurt.
0:24:07 > 0:24:11- I don't think Kate caught your name? - I'm so sorry, I'm...
0:24:16 > 0:24:20It's always hard to remember an alias when you've had a fright. Isn't it?
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Well, there now.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25We're both defrocked...
0:24:27 > 0:24:28..Mr Sherlock Holmes.
0:24:28 > 0:24:33- Miss Adler, I presume. - Look at those cheekbones.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37I could cut myself slapping that face.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Would you like me to try?
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Right, this should do it.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49I've missed something, haven't I?
0:24:51 > 0:24:55Please, sit down. Or if you'd like some tea, I can call the maid.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59- I had some at the Palace. - I know.- Clearly.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07I had a tea too, at the Palace. If anyone's interested.
0:25:29 > 0:25:33Do you know the big problem with a disguise, Mr Holmes?
0:25:33 > 0:25:36However hard you try, it's always a self-portrait.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39You think I'm a vicar with a bleeding face?
0:25:39 > 0:25:41No, I think you're damaged, delusional
0:25:41 > 0:25:44and believe in a higher power. In your case, it's yourself.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Hmm, and somebody loves you.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52If I had to punch that face, I'd avoid your nose and teeth, too.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Ha-ha! Could you put something on, please?
0:25:55 > 0:26:00- Er, anything at all. A napkin? - Why? Are you feeling exposed?
0:26:00 > 0:26:02I don't think John knows where to look.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05No, I think he knows exactly where.
0:26:07 > 0:26:08I'm not sure about you.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11If I was to look at naked women, I'd borrow John's laptop.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13- You do borrow my laptop. - I confiscate it.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17Never mind, we've got better things to talk about. Now, tell me, I need to know -
0:26:17 > 0:26:20how was it done?
0:26:20 > 0:26:21What?
0:26:21 > 0:26:26The hiker with the bashed-in head - how was he killed?
0:26:26 > 0:26:29That's not why I'm here.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31You're here for the photographs,
0:26:31 > 0:26:33but that's never going to happen and as we're chatting...
0:26:33 > 0:26:35That story's not out. How do you know about it?
0:26:35 > 0:26:39- I know one of the policemen. Well, I know what he likes.- Oh.
0:26:39 > 0:26:43And you...like policemen?
0:26:43 > 0:26:45I like detective stories. And detectives.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Brainy is the new sexy.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51The position of the car relative to the hiker,
0:26:51 > 0:26:56that and the fact that the death blow was to the back of the head, that's all you need to know.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59- OK, tell me, how was he murdered?- He wasn't.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02- You don't think it was murder? - I know it wasn't.- How?- The same way
0:27:02 > 0:27:06I know the victim was a sportsman, recently returned from foreign travel
0:27:06 > 0:27:10- and that the photographs I'm looking for are in this room.- OK, but how?
0:27:10 > 0:27:12So they are in this room. Thank you.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14John, man the door, let no-one in.
0:27:24 > 0:27:29Two men alone in the countryside, several yards apart and one car.
0:27:29 > 0:27:33- Oh, I,... I thought you were looking for the photos now.- No, no.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Looking takes ages, I'm just going to find them,
0:27:36 > 0:27:40but you're clever and we've got a moment, so let's pass the time. Two men, a car, nobody else.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44Driver's trying to fix his engine.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Getting nowhere.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49And the hiker is taking a moment, looking at the sky.
0:27:49 > 0:27:53Watching the birds? Any moment now, something is going to happen. What?
0:27:53 > 0:27:58- The hiker is going to die. - No, that's the result. What's going to happen?
0:27:58 > 0:28:01- I don't understand. - Oh, well try to.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04- Why?- Because you cater to the whims of the pathetic
0:28:04 > 0:28:10and take your clothes off to make an impression. Stop boring me and think. It's the new sexy.
0:28:10 > 0:28:15- The car's going to backfire. There's - going to be a loud noise.- So what?
0:28:15 > 0:28:18Noises are important. They can tell you everything. For instance...
0:28:20 > 0:28:24BEEPING
0:28:27 > 0:28:28Thank you.
0:28:28 > 0:28:32On hearing a smoke alarm, a mother would look towards her child.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34Amazing how fire exposes our priorities.
0:28:38 > 0:28:42I really hope you don't have a baby in here.
0:28:42 > 0:28:45All right, John, you can turn it off now.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47I said you can turn it off now!
0:28:47 > 0:28:49Give me a minute!
0:28:55 > 0:28:57Thank you.
0:28:57 > 0:28:58Hmm.
0:28:58 > 0:29:02You should always use gloves with these things, you know.
0:29:02 > 0:29:04Heaviest oil deposit is always on the first key used,
0:29:04 > 0:29:10that's a 3, but after that, the sequence is impossible to read. I see it's a six digit code.
0:29:10 > 0:29:14It can't be your birthday, no disrespect, but you were born in the '80s and 8's barely used, so...
0:29:14 > 0:29:18I'd tell you the code right now, but you know what? I already have.
0:29:20 > 0:29:21Think.
0:29:22 > 0:29:26Hands behind your head, on the floor, keep it still!
0:29:26 > 0:29:29- Sorry, Sherlock. - Miss Adler, on the floor!
0:29:29 > 0:29:33- Don't you want me on the floor, too? - No, sir, I want you to open the safe.
0:29:33 > 0:29:37American. Interesting. Why would you care?
0:29:37 > 0:29:42- Sir, the safe, now, please. - I don't know the code.- We've been listening, she said she told you.
0:29:42 > 0:29:47- If you've been listening, you'll know she didn't.- I assume I missed something. From your reputation,
0:29:47 > 0:29:50I assume you didn't, Mr Holmes.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52She's the one who knows the code, ask her!
0:29:52 > 0:29:57Yes, sir, she also knows the code that calls the police and sets off the burglar alarm.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00- I've learned not to trust her. - Mr Holmes doesn't...- Shut up!
0:30:00 > 0:30:02One more word out of you,
0:30:02 > 0:30:06just one and I will decorate that wall with the insides of your head.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09That, for me, will not be a hardship.
0:30:09 > 0:30:14- Mr Archer, at the count of three, shoot Dr Watson.- What?
0:30:14 > 0:30:16- I don't know the code.- One.
0:30:16 > 0:30:21- I don't know the code.- Two. - She didn't tell me, I don't know it!
0:30:21 > 0:30:25I'm prepared to believe you, any second now.
0:30:25 > 0:30:26- Three!- No, stop!
0:30:38 > 0:30:41BEEPING
0:30:41 > 0:30:43BEEPING
0:30:46 > 0:30:48SAFE UNLOCKS
0:30:48 > 0:30:51Thank you, Mr Holmes. Open it, please.
0:30:55 > 0:30:57Vatican cameos!
0:31:15 > 0:31:16- Do you mind?- Not at all.
0:31:22 > 0:31:26- He's dead.- Thank you. You were very observant.- Observant?
0:31:26 > 0:31:30- I'm flattered.- Don't be.- Flattered?
0:31:30 > 0:31:33There'll be more of them, they'll be keeping an eye on the building.
0:31:38 > 0:31:40- We should call the police.- Yes.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46- On their way.- For God's sake!
0:31:46 > 0:31:47Oh, shut up, it's quick.
0:31:47 > 0:31:51Check the rest of the house, see how they got in.
0:31:51 > 0:31:56- Well, that's the knighthood in the bag.- Oh, and that's mine.
0:31:59 > 0:32:03- All the photographs are on here, I presume?- I have copies, of course. - No, you don't.
0:32:03 > 0:32:08You'll have permanently disabled any kind of uplink or connection.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11Unless the contents of this phone are unique, you couldn't sell them.
0:32:11 > 0:32:15- Who said I'm selling? - Well, why would they be interested?
0:32:15 > 0:32:21- Whatever's on the phone, it's clearly not just photographs.- That camera-phone is my life, Mr Holmes.
0:32:21 > 0:32:24I'd die before I let you take it. It's my protection.
0:32:24 > 0:32:26- Sherlock!- It was.
0:32:43 > 0:32:44- Must have come in this way.- Clearly.
0:32:46 > 0:32:48It's all right, she's just out cold.
0:32:48 > 0:32:52Oh, God knows she's used to that. There's a back door. Better check it, Dr Watson.
0:32:53 > 0:32:56Sure.
0:32:57 > 0:32:59You're very calm.
0:33:00 > 0:33:04- Well, your booby trap did just kill a man.- He would have killed me.
0:33:04 > 0:33:05It was self defence in advance.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12What is that?! What?
0:33:12 > 0:33:14Give it to me.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16Now. Give it to me.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18No.
0:33:18 > 0:33:21- Give it to me.- Argh! No.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23Oh, for goodness sake!
0:33:23 > 0:33:24Drop it.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28I...said...drop it!
0:33:28 > 0:33:31Ah, thank you, dear.
0:33:31 > 0:33:35Now, tell that sweet little posh thing the pictures are safe with me.
0:33:35 > 0:33:39They're not for blackmail, just for insurance.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42Besides, I might want to see her again.
0:33:42 > 0:33:46Oh, no no no no no.
0:33:46 > 0:33:47It's been a pleasure.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50Don't spoil it.
0:33:50 > 0:33:53This is how I want you to remember me,
0:33:53 > 0:33:57the woman who beat you.
0:33:59 > 0:34:01Goodnight, Mr Sherlock Holmes.
0:34:01 > 0:34:04- Jesus! What are you doing? - He'll sleep for a few hours.
0:34:04 > 0:34:09- Make sure he doesn't choke on his own vomit, it makes for a very unattractive corpse.- What's this?
0:34:09 > 0:34:11- What have you given him? Sherlock?- He'll be fine.
0:34:11 > 0:34:16- I've used it on loads of my friends. - Sherlock, can you hear me?
0:34:16 > 0:34:20- You know, I was wrong about him. He did know where to look.- For what? What are you talking about?
0:34:20 > 0:34:24- The key-code to my safe. - What was it?
0:34:24 > 0:34:26Shall I tell him?
0:34:30 > 0:34:32My measurements.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34SIREN WAILS
0:34:43 > 0:34:45SIRENS WAIL
0:34:45 > 0:34:47Got it!
0:34:47 > 0:34:52Oh, ssh ssh no, don't get up, I'll do the talking.
0:34:55 > 0:35:02So, the car's about to backfire and the hiker, he's staring at the sky.
0:35:02 > 0:35:05You said he could be watching birds, but he wasn't, was he?
0:35:05 > 0:35:08He was watching another kind of flying thing.
0:35:08 > 0:35:11The car backfires and the hiker turns to look...
0:35:13 > 0:35:16..which was his big mistake.
0:35:16 > 0:35:20By the time the driver looks up, the hiker is already dead. He doesn't see what killed him
0:35:20 > 0:35:25because it's already being washed downstream.
0:35:25 > 0:35:30An accomplished sportsman recently returned from foreign travel with...
0:35:30 > 0:35:31a boomerang.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35You got that from one look?
0:35:35 > 0:35:37Definitely the new sexy.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41I...
0:35:43 > 0:35:45I...
0:35:54 > 0:35:55Hush, now.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57It's OK.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02I'm only returning your coat.
0:36:08 > 0:36:09John?
0:36:10 > 0:36:12John!
0:36:16 > 0:36:19- You OK?- How did I get here?
0:36:19 > 0:36:22I don't suppose you remember much, you weren't making a lot of sense.
0:36:22 > 0:36:26Oh, I should warn you, I think Lestrade filmed you on his phone.
0:36:26 > 0:36:30- Where is she?- Where's who? - The woman, that woman.- What woman?
0:36:30 > 0:36:33- The Woman! The Woman, woman! - Oh, Irene Adler?
0:36:33 > 0:36:36She got away, no-one saw her. She wasn't here, Sherlock.
0:36:38 > 0:36:42What are you? What? No, no, no. No. Back to bed.
0:36:42 > 0:36:46You'll be fine in the morning. Just sleep.
0:36:46 > 0:36:49Of course I'll be fine, I am fine. I'm absolutely fine.
0:36:49 > 0:36:52Yes, you're great. Now, I'll be next door if you need me.
0:36:52 > 0:36:55- Why would I need you? - No reason at all.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01EROTIC MOAN TEXT ALERT
0:37:36 > 0:37:40- The photographs are perfectly safe. - In the hands of a fugitive sex worker?
0:37:40 > 0:37:42She's not interested in blackmail.
0:37:42 > 0:37:45She wants...protection, for some reason.
0:37:45 > 0:37:50I take it you've stood down the police investigation into the shooting at her house?
0:37:50 > 0:37:54How can we do anything while she has the photographs? Our hands are tied.
0:37:54 > 0:37:56She'd applaud your choice of words.
0:37:56 > 0:38:00You see how this works? The camera-phone is her get out of jail free card.
0:38:00 > 0:38:03You have to leave her alone. Treat her like royalty, Mycroft.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05Though not the way she treats royalty.
0:38:05 > 0:38:07EROTIC MOAN TEXT ALERT
0:38:07 > 0:38:10What was that?
0:38:10 > 0:38:11- Text. - But what was that noise?
0:38:13 > 0:38:16Did you know there were other people after her too
0:38:16 > 0:38:18before you sent John and I in there?
0:38:18 > 0:38:21- CIA trained killers, I think. - Thanks for that.
0:38:21 > 0:38:24It's a disgrace, sending your little brother into danger like that.
0:38:24 > 0:38:28Family is all we have in the end, Mycroft Holmes!
0:38:28 > 0:38:30- Oh, shut up, Mrs Hudson! - Mycroft!!
0:38:36 > 0:38:40- Apologies.- Thank you. - Though do in fact shut up.
0:38:40 > 0:38:42EROTIC MOAN TEXT ALERT
0:38:42 > 0:38:45Oh, it's a bit rude, that noise, isn't it?
0:38:45 > 0:38:49There's nothing you can do and nothing she will do, as far as I can see.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52I can put maximum surveillance on her.
0:38:52 > 0:38:57Why bother? You can follow her on Twitter.
0:38:57 > 0:39:00I believe her user name is The Whip Hand.
0:39:00 > 0:39:03Most amusing. Excuse me. Hello?
0:39:09 > 0:39:13Why does your phone make that noise?
0:39:13 > 0:39:16- What noise? - That noise, the one it just made.
0:39:16 > 0:39:18It's a text alert, means I've got a text.
0:39:18 > 0:39:21Hmm. Your texts don't usually make that noise.
0:39:21 > 0:39:24Well, somebody got hold of the phone and apparently as a joke,
0:39:24 > 0:39:27personalised their text alert noise.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29Hmm, so every time they text you...
0:39:30 > 0:39:33- EROTIC MOAN TEXT ALERT - It would seem so.
0:39:33 > 0:39:38Could you turn that phone down a bit? At my time of life it's...
0:39:38 > 0:39:39Ahem.
0:39:41 > 0:39:44See I'm wondering who could have got hold of your phone.
0:39:44 > 0:39:48- It would've been in your coat. - I'll leave you to your deductions.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52I'm not stupid, you know.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54Where do you get that idea?
0:39:54 > 0:39:57Bond Air is go, that's decided. Check with the Coventry lot.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59Talk later.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02What else does she have?
0:40:02 > 0:40:05Irene Adler. The Americans wouldn't be interested in her
0:40:05 > 0:40:08for a couple of compromising photographs.
0:40:08 > 0:40:12There's more. Much more.
0:40:12 > 0:40:15Something big's coming, isn't it?
0:40:15 > 0:40:19Irene Adler is no longer any concern of yours.
0:40:19 > 0:40:23From now on, you will stay out of this.
0:40:23 > 0:40:26- Oh, will I?- Yes, Sherlock.
0:40:26 > 0:40:28You will.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33Now if you'll excuse me,
0:40:33 > 0:40:36I have a long and arduous apology to make to a very old friend.
0:40:36 > 0:40:38Do give her my love.
0:40:38 > 0:40:42HE PLAYS 'GOD SAVE THE QUEEN'
0:41:11 > 0:41:13Lovely, Sherlock. That was lovely.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15- Hmm, marvellous.- Yes, very good.
0:41:15 > 0:41:17I wish you could have worn the antlers.
0:41:17 > 0:41:21- Some things are best left to the imagination, Mrs Hudson.- Mrs H?
0:41:21 > 0:41:24- No thank you, Sarah.- Er, no, no, he's not good with names.
0:41:24 > 0:41:25No, I can get this.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28Sarah was the doctor, then there was the one with the spots,
0:41:28 > 0:41:33then the one with the nose and then, who was after the boring teacher?
0:41:33 > 0:41:37- Nobody.- Jeanette! Ah, process of elimination. Oh, dear Lord.
0:41:37 > 0:41:41Hello, everyone. It said on the door to come up.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43- Hello, Molly.- Hello, Molly!
0:41:43 > 0:41:46Everybody saying hello to each other, how wonderful!
0:41:46 > 0:41:49- Let me, er... Holy Mary!- Wow!
0:41:49 > 0:41:52- So we're having Christmas drinkies? - No stopping them, apparently.
0:41:52 > 0:41:56It's the one day of the year where the boys have to be nice to me,
0:41:56 > 0:41:58so it's almost worth it.
0:41:58 > 0:42:04- John?- Hmm?- The counter on your blog still says 1895. - Oh, no, Christmas is cancelled(!)
0:42:04 > 0:42:08- And you've got a photograph of me wearing that hat!- People like it.
0:42:08 > 0:42:10- No, they don't. What people? - How's the hip?
0:42:10 > 0:42:13Oh, it's atrocious, but thanks for asking.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15I've seen much worse, but then I do post-mortems.
0:42:15 > 0:42:20- Oh, God, sorry. - Don't make jokes, Molly.
0:42:20 > 0:42:23- No, sorry.- Here you are.- Thank you. I wasn't expecting to see you.
0:42:23 > 0:42:26I thought you were in Dorset for Christmas?
0:42:26 > 0:42:29First thing in the morning, me and the wife, back together, sorted.
0:42:29 > 0:42:32No, she's sleeping with a PE teacher.
0:42:32 > 0:42:36- And John, I hear you're off to your sister's?- Yeah.
0:42:36 > 0:42:38Sherlock was complaining. Saying.
0:42:38 > 0:42:41First time ever, she's cleaned up her act, off the booze.
0:42:41 > 0:42:42- Nope.- Shut up, Sherlock!
0:42:42 > 0:42:46- I see you've got a new boyfriend, Molly. You're serious about him. - Sorry, what?
0:42:46 > 0:42:49- You're seeing him tonight, giving him a gift.- Take a day off.
0:42:49 > 0:42:53- Shut up. Have a drink. - Surely you see the perfectly wrapped present in the bag.
0:42:53 > 0:42:56The others are slapdash. It's for someone special.
0:42:56 > 0:43:00The shade of red echoes her lipstick - an unconscious association,
0:43:00 > 0:43:05or one she's deliberately trying to encourage. Either way, Miss Hooper has love on her mind.
0:43:05 > 0:43:08That she's serious about him is clear from the fact she's giving him a gift.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11It suggests long-term hopes.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14That she's seeing him tonight is evident from her make-up and clothes.
0:43:14 > 0:43:18Obviously trying to compensate for the size of her mouth and breasts.
0:43:26 > 0:43:29You always say such horrible things.
0:43:29 > 0:43:32Every time. Always.
0:43:32 > 0:43:34Always.
0:43:38 > 0:43:40I am sorry. Forgive me.
0:43:45 > 0:43:47Merry Christmas, Molly Hooper.
0:43:47 > 0:43:50EROTIC MOAN TEXT ALERT
0:43:50 > 0:43:52Oh, no! That wasn't, I didn't...
0:43:52 > 0:43:55- No, it was me.- My God, really?
0:43:55 > 0:43:56- What?- My phone.
0:43:56 > 0:43:59- Fifty seven?- Sorry, what?
0:43:59 > 0:44:02Fifty seven of those texts, the ones I've heard.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05Thrilling that you've been counting.
0:44:13 > 0:44:15Excuse me.
0:44:15 > 0:44:17What's up, Sherlock?
0:44:17 > 0:44:19- I said excuse me. - Do you ever reply?
0:44:41 > 0:44:43PHONE RINGS
0:44:48 > 0:44:52Oh, dear Lord, we're not going to have Christmas phone calls now, are we?
0:44:52 > 0:44:54Have they passed a new law?
0:44:54 > 0:44:57I think you're going to find Irene Adler tonight.
0:44:57 > 0:44:59We already know where she is.
0:44:59 > 0:45:03As you were kind enough to point out, it hardly matters.
0:45:03 > 0:45:05No, I mean you're going to find her dead.
0:45:08 > 0:45:09- You OK?- Yes.
0:45:28 > 0:45:30The only one who fitted the description.
0:45:30 > 0:45:32Had her brought here, your home from home.
0:45:32 > 0:45:34You didn't need to come in, Molly.
0:45:34 > 0:45:37It's OK, everyone else is busy with... Christmas.
0:45:37 > 0:45:42The face is a bit sort of bashed-up, so it might be a bit difficult.
0:45:47 > 0:45:49- That's her, isn't it? - Show me the rest of her.
0:45:55 > 0:45:56That's her.
0:45:56 > 0:45:58Thank you, Miss Hooper.
0:45:58 > 0:46:03Who is she? How did Sherlock recognise her from... not her face?
0:46:22 > 0:46:26- Just the one.- Why? - Merry Christmas.
0:46:31 > 0:46:35Smoking indoors, isn't there one of those... one of those law things?
0:46:37 > 0:46:39We're in a morgue.
0:46:39 > 0:46:41There's only so much damage you can do.
0:46:43 > 0:46:45How did you know she was dead?
0:46:45 > 0:46:51She had an item in her possession, one she said her life depended on.
0:46:51 > 0:46:56- She chose to give it up. - Where is this item now?
0:46:59 > 0:47:01Look at them.
0:47:01 > 0:47:05They all care so much.
0:47:08 > 0:47:11Do you ever wonder if there's something wrong with us?
0:47:11 > 0:47:16All lives end, all hearts are broken.
0:47:16 > 0:47:22Caring is not an advantage, Sherlock.
0:47:25 > 0:47:27This is low tar.
0:47:27 > 0:47:31Well, you barely knew her.
0:47:31 > 0:47:33Huh.
0:47:35 > 0:47:37Merry Christmas, Mycroft.
0:47:40 > 0:47:42And a happy new year.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55He's on his way. Have you found anything?
0:47:55 > 0:47:57- No. Did he take the cigarette? - Yes.- Shit!
0:47:57 > 0:48:01- He's coming, ten minutes. - There's nothing in the bedroom.
0:48:01 > 0:48:04It looks like he's clean, we've tried all the usual places.
0:48:04 > 0:48:07Are you sure tonight's a danger night?
0:48:07 > 0:48:10No, but then I never am. You have to stay with him, John.
0:48:10 > 0:48:12I've got plans.
0:48:12 > 0:48:13No.
0:48:16 > 0:48:18Mycroft?
0:48:25 > 0:48:28I am really sorry.
0:48:28 > 0:48:30- You know my friends are so wrong about you.- Hmm?
0:48:30 > 0:48:34- You're a great boyfriend. - OK, that's good.
0:48:34 > 0:48:38- I always thought I was great. - Sherlock Holmes is a very lucky man.
0:48:38 > 0:48:40Oh, Jeanette, please.
0:48:40 > 0:48:44No, I mean it. It's heart-warming. You'll do anything for him.
0:48:44 > 0:48:46And he can't even tell your girlfriends apart!
0:48:46 > 0:48:49I'll do anything for you, just tell me what it is I'm not doing.
0:48:49 > 0:48:52Don't make me compete with Sherlock Holmes!
0:48:52 > 0:48:55I'll walk your dog. There, I've said it, I'll even walk your dog.
0:48:55 > 0:48:59- I don't have a dog! - No, because that was the last one.
0:48:59 > 0:49:04- OK.- Jesus!- I'll call you.- No!- OK.
0:49:04 > 0:49:07That really wasn't very good, was it?
0:49:20 > 0:49:21Oh, hi.
0:49:24 > 0:49:25You OK?
0:49:31 > 0:49:34I hope you didn't mess up my sock index this time!
0:49:44 > 0:49:47VIOLIN PLAYS
0:50:01 > 0:50:04Lovely tune, Sherlock, haven't heard that one before.
0:50:04 > 0:50:08Ahem. Composing?
0:50:08 > 0:50:09Helps me to think.
0:50:16 > 0:50:19What are you thinking about?
0:50:19 > 0:50:23The count on your blog is still stuck at 1895.
0:50:23 > 0:50:26Yes. Faulty, can't seem to fix it.
0:50:26 > 0:50:29Faulty, or you've been hacked and it's a message.
0:50:29 > 0:50:30Hmm?
0:50:38 > 0:50:40Just faulty.
0:50:40 > 0:50:43Right.
0:50:45 > 0:50:46Right.
0:50:46 > 0:50:50Well, I'm going out for a bit.
0:50:59 > 0:51:03Listen, has he ever had any kind of girlfriend,
0:51:03 > 0:51:07boyfriend, a relationship, ever?
0:51:07 > 0:51:09I don't know.
0:51:09 > 0:51:10How can we not know?
0:51:10 > 0:51:11He's Sherlock.
0:51:11 > 0:51:15How will we ever know what goes on in that funny old head?
0:51:15 > 0:51:18Right. See you.
0:51:32 > 0:51:34- John?- Yeah? Hello?
0:51:37 > 0:51:40- Hello. - So, any plans for new year tonight?
0:51:40 > 0:51:44Um, er... nothing fixed.
0:51:46 > 0:51:50Nothing I couldn't heartlessly abandon.
0:51:50 > 0:51:53- You have any ideas?- One.
0:51:57 > 0:51:59You know, Mycroft could just phone me,
0:51:59 > 0:52:02if he didn't have this bloody stupid power complex.
0:52:30 > 0:52:32Couldn't we just go to a cafe?
0:52:32 > 0:52:34Sherlock doesn't follow me everywhere.
0:52:36 > 0:52:39Through there.
0:52:47 > 0:52:48He's on his way.
0:52:48 > 0:52:51You were right, he thinks it's Mycroft.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58He's writing sad music.
0:53:00 > 0:53:03Doesn't eat, barely talks,
0:53:03 > 0:53:08only to correct the television.
0:53:08 > 0:53:12I'd say he was heart-broken, but, er, well he's Sherlock.
0:53:12 > 0:53:14He does all that anyway.
0:53:18 > 0:53:20Hello, Dr Watson.
0:53:29 > 0:53:30Tell him you're alive.
0:53:30 > 0:53:32He'd come after me.
0:53:32 > 0:53:36I'll come after you if you don't.
0:53:36 > 0:53:37Hmm, I believe you.
0:53:37 > 0:53:41You were dead on a slab.
0:53:41 > 0:53:42It was definitely you.
0:53:42 > 0:53:45DNA tests are only as good as the records you keep.
0:53:45 > 0:53:48- And I bet you know the record keeper. - I know what he likes.
0:53:48 > 0:53:50And I needed to disappear.
0:53:50 > 0:53:54Then how come I can see you and I don't even want to?
0:53:54 > 0:53:56Look, I made a mistake,
0:53:56 > 0:54:00I sent something to Sherlock for safekeeping, now I need it back.
0:54:00 > 0:54:03- I need your help.- No. - It's for his own safety.
0:54:03 > 0:54:06So is this. Tell him you're alive.
0:54:06 > 0:54:10- I can't.- Fine, I'll tell him
0:54:10 > 0:54:15- and I still won't help you. - What do I say?
0:54:15 > 0:54:19What do you normally say?! You've texted him a lot!
0:54:19 > 0:54:23- Just the usual stuff. - There is no usual in this case.
0:54:23 > 0:54:27"Good morning. I like your funny hat.
0:54:27 > 0:54:29"I'm sad tonight, let's have dinner.
0:54:29 > 0:54:33"Hmm, you look sexy on Crimewatch, let's have dinner.
0:54:33 > 0:54:35"I'm not hungry.
0:54:35 > 0:54:39"Let's have dinner".
0:54:39 > 0:54:43- You flirted with Sherlock Holmes? - At him. He never replies.
0:54:43 > 0:54:45No, Sherlock always replies to everything.
0:54:45 > 0:54:47He's Mr Punchline.
0:54:47 > 0:54:50He will outlive God trying to have the last word.
0:54:50 > 0:54:52Does that make me special?
0:54:52 > 0:54:56- I don't know, maybe. - Are you jealous?
0:54:56 > 0:55:00- We're not a couple. - Yes, you are.
0:55:00 > 0:55:03There, "I'm not dead.
0:55:03 > 0:55:07"Let's have dinner".
0:55:07 > 0:55:11Who the hell knows about Sherlock Holmes? But for the record,
0:55:11 > 0:55:15if anyone out there still cares, I'm not actually gay.
0:55:15 > 0:55:19Well, I am. Look at us both.
0:55:22 > 0:55:24EROTIC MOAN TEXT ALERT
0:55:34 > 0:55:38I don't think so, do you?
0:56:41 > 0:56:43- Stop it!- Stop it!
0:56:45 > 0:56:47Sherlock!
0:57:06 > 0:57:09- Oh, Sherlock, Sherlock... - Don't snivel, Mrs Hudson,
0:57:09 > 0:57:12it'll do nothing to impede the flight of a bullet.
0:57:14 > 0:57:16What a tender world that would be.
0:57:16 > 0:57:18Oh, please, Sherlock...
0:57:18 > 0:57:21I believe that you have something that we want, Mr Holmes.
0:57:21 > 0:57:23Then why don't you ask for it?
0:57:27 > 0:57:31Oh, I've been asking this one, she doesn't seem to know anything.
0:57:31 > 0:57:35But you know what I'm asking for, don't you, Mr Holmes?
0:57:43 > 0:57:46I believe I do.
0:57:48 > 0:57:49Please, help.
0:57:50 > 0:57:52First get rid of your boys.
0:57:52 > 0:57:54- Why?- I dislike being outnumbered,
0:57:54 > 0:57:56it makes for too much stupid in the room.
0:57:58 > 0:58:01- You two, go to the car. - Then get into the car and drive away.
0:58:01 > 0:58:04Don't try to trick me, you know who I am, it doesn't work.
0:58:10 > 0:58:12Next, you can stop pointing that gun at me.
0:58:12 > 0:58:14So you can point a gun at me?
0:58:14 > 0:58:15I'm unarmed.
0:58:15 > 0:58:18- Mind if I check?- Oh, I insist.
0:58:28 > 0:58:30Argh!
0:58:30 > 0:58:33Moron.
0:58:35 > 0:58:38- Oh, thank you.- You're all right now, you're all right.
0:59:06 > 0:59:10- Jeez, what the hell is happening? - Mrs Hudson has been attacked by an American,
0:59:10 > 0:59:12I'm restoring balance to the universe.
0:59:12 > 0:59:15Mrs Hudson, my God, are you all right?
0:59:15 > 0:59:17Jesus, what have they done to you?
0:59:17 > 0:59:19Oh, I'm just being so silly.
0:59:19 > 0:59:21Take her downstairs and look after her.
0:59:21 > 0:59:26It's all right, I'll have a look at that.
0:59:26 > 0:59:27I'm fine, I'm fine.
0:59:28 > 0:59:31- Are you going to tell me what's going on?- I expect so, now go.
0:59:35 > 0:59:36Lestrade?
0:59:36 > 0:59:39We've had a break-in at Baker Street.
0:59:39 > 0:59:42Send your least irritating officers and an ambulance.
0:59:42 > 0:59:45Oh, no, no, no, we're fine.
0:59:45 > 0:59:49No, it's the burglar, he's got himself rather badly injured.
0:59:50 > 0:59:55Oh, a few broken ribs, fractured skull, suspected punctured lung...
0:59:56 > 0:59:58He fell out of a window.
0:59:59 > 1:00:01Oh, it stings.
1:00:07 > 1:00:10Oh, that was right on my bins.
1:00:10 > 1:00:12GROANING OUTSIDE
1:00:14 > 1:00:18And exactly how many times did he fall out the window?
1:00:18 > 1:00:21It's all a bit of a blur, Detective Inspector.
1:00:21 > 1:00:23I lost count.
1:00:28 > 1:00:31She'll have to sleep upstairs in our flat tonight,
1:00:31 > 1:00:33we need to look after her.
1:00:33 > 1:00:35- No...- She's fine. - No, she's not, look at her.
1:00:35 > 1:00:38She's got to take some time away from Baker Street.
1:00:38 > 1:00:41She can stay with her sister, doctor's orders.
1:00:41 > 1:00:43- Don't be absurd. - She's in shock, for God's sake,
1:00:43 > 1:00:46and all over some stupid camera-phone - where is it anyway?
1:00:46 > 1:00:48Safest place I know.
1:00:48 > 1:00:53You left it in the pocket of your second best dressing gown, you clot!
1:00:53 > 1:00:57I managed to sneak it out when they thought I was having a cry.
1:00:57 > 1:00:59Thank you.
1:00:59 > 1:01:01Shame on you, John Watson.
1:01:01 > 1:01:04- Shame on me? - Mrs Hudson leave Baker Street?
1:01:04 > 1:01:06England would fall.
1:01:18 > 1:01:21Where is it now?
1:01:21 > 1:01:23Where no-one will look.
1:01:23 > 1:01:27Whatever's on that phone is more than just pictures.
1:01:27 > 1:01:29Yes, it is.
1:01:32 > 1:01:33So, she's alive then.
1:01:35 > 1:01:37How are we feeling about that?
1:01:38 > 1:01:41BIG BEN CHIMES
1:01:41 > 1:01:43Happy New Year, John.
1:01:43 > 1:01:45Do you think you'll be seeing her again?
1:01:50 > 1:01:53HE PLAYS 'AULD LANG SYNE'
1:02:01 > 1:02:03TEXT ALERT
1:02:26 > 1:02:29- Is that a phone? - It's a camera-phone.
1:02:29 > 1:02:31- And you're x-raying it? - Yes, I am.
1:02:31 > 1:02:33- Whose phone is it?- A woman's.
1:02:33 > 1:02:35Your girlfriend?
1:02:35 > 1:02:38She's my girlfriend because I'm x-raying her possessions?
1:02:38 > 1:02:40- Well, we all do silly things!- Yes...
1:02:42 > 1:02:45..they do, don't they?
1:02:45 > 1:02:47Very silly.
1:02:51 > 1:02:53She sent this to my address.
1:02:53 > 1:02:56- She loves to play games.- She does?
1:03:43 > 1:03:45Hey, Sherlock...
1:03:45 > 1:03:47We have a client.
1:03:47 > 1:03:49What, in your bedroom?
1:03:51 > 1:03:53Oh.
1:03:56 > 1:03:58So, who's after you?
1:03:58 > 1:04:01- People who want to kill me. - Who's that?
1:04:01 > 1:04:02Killers.
1:04:02 > 1:04:05It would help if you were a tiny bit more specific.
1:04:05 > 1:04:08- So you faked your own death to get ahead of them? - It worked for a while.
1:04:08 > 1:04:13- Except you let John know you're alive, therefore me. - I knew you'd keep my secret.
1:04:13 > 1:04:14You couldn't.
1:04:14 > 1:04:16But you did, didn't you?
1:04:17 > 1:04:19Where's my camera-phone?
1:04:19 > 1:04:20It's not here.
1:04:20 > 1:04:21We're not stupid.
1:04:21 > 1:04:25What have you done with it? If they've guessed, they'll be watching you.
1:04:25 > 1:04:28Then they'll know I took a safety deposit box
1:04:28 > 1:04:30at a bank on the Strand a few months ago.
1:04:30 > 1:04:32I need it.
1:04:32 > 1:04:34Well, we can't just go and get it, can we?
1:04:35 > 1:04:39Molly Hooper, she could collect it, take it to Barts.
1:04:39 > 1:04:44Then one of your homeless network could bring it here, leave it in the cafe,
1:04:44 > 1:04:46one of the boys downstairs could bring it up the back.
1:04:46 > 1:04:50Very good, John, excellent plan, full of intelligent precautions.
1:04:50 > 1:04:53Thank you. So, why don't I phone...
1:04:54 > 1:04:57So, what do you keep on here?
1:04:57 > 1:04:59In general, I mean?
1:04:59 > 1:05:02Pictures, information, anything I might find useful.
1:05:02 > 1:05:04- For blackmail?- For protection.
1:05:05 > 1:05:08I make my way in the world, I misbehave.
1:05:08 > 1:05:12I like to know people will be on my side exactly when I need them to be.
1:05:12 > 1:05:16- So how do you acquire this information?- I told you - I misbehave.
1:05:16 > 1:05:21- But you've acquired something more danger than protection. Do you know what it is?- Yes...
1:05:21 > 1:05:22..but I don't understand it.
1:05:22 > 1:05:24I assumed. Show me.
1:05:26 > 1:05:28The passcode.
1:05:41 > 1:05:42It's not working.
1:05:42 > 1:05:45No, because it's a duplicate I had made
1:05:45 > 1:05:47into which you just entered the numbers 1058.
1:05:47 > 1:05:52I assumed you'd choose something more specific than that, but thanks, anyway.
1:06:02 > 1:06:05I told you that camera-phone was my life.
1:06:05 > 1:06:06I know when it's in my hand.
1:06:06 > 1:06:09Oh, you're rather good.
1:06:09 > 1:06:11You're not so bad.
1:06:14 > 1:06:16Hamish.
1:06:17 > 1:06:22John Hamish Watson, just if you were looking for baby names.
1:06:24 > 1:06:28There was a man, an MOD official and I knew what he liked.
1:06:29 > 1:06:32One of the things he liked was showing off.
1:06:32 > 1:06:34He told me this email was going to save the world.
1:06:34 > 1:06:38He didn't know but I photographed it - he was a bit tied up at the time.
1:06:38 > 1:06:41It's a bit small on that screen, can you read it?
1:06:41 > 1:06:44- Yes.- Code, obviously.
1:06:44 > 1:06:47I had one of the country's best cryptographers take a look,
1:06:47 > 1:06:50though he was mostly upside down, as I recall.
1:06:50 > 1:06:52Couldn't figure it out.
1:06:54 > 1:06:55What can you do, Mr Holmes?
1:06:55 > 1:06:58Go on, impress a girl.
1:07:15 > 1:07:16There's a margin for error,
1:07:16 > 1:07:20but I'm pretty sure there's a 747 leaving Heathrow tomorrow at 6.30 for Baltimore.
1:07:20 > 1:07:23Apparently it's going to save the world, I'm not sure how,
1:07:23 > 1:07:26but give me a moment, I've only been on the case eight seconds.
1:07:28 > 1:07:31Oh, come on, it's not code, these are seats on a jet.
1:07:31 > 1:07:33Look, no 'I' because it can be mistaken for one.
1:07:33 > 1:07:36No letters past 'K' - the width of the plane is the limit.
1:07:36 > 1:07:38The numbers always appear not in sequence,
1:07:38 > 1:07:43but the letters have little runs of sequence families and couples sitting together.
1:07:43 > 1:07:47Only a Jumbo's wide enough for a letter 'K' or rows past 55, so there's always an upstairs.
1:07:47 > 1:07:49A row 13 eliminates superstitious airlines.
1:07:49 > 1:07:52The style of the flight number, '007', eliminates a few more.
1:07:52 > 1:07:56Assuming a British point of origin because of the original source,
1:07:56 > 1:07:59and assuming the crisis is imminent, the only flight that matches
1:07:59 > 1:08:05all the criteria and departs within the week is the 6.30 to Baltimore tomorrow from Heathrow.
1:08:06 > 1:08:10Please don't feel obliged to tell me that was amazing,
1:08:10 > 1:08:13John's expressed that in every possible variant available in English.
1:08:13 > 1:08:16I would have you right here, on this desk,
1:08:16 > 1:08:18until you begged for mercy twice.
1:08:22 > 1:08:25John, can you check those flight schedules, see if I'm right?
1:08:27 > 1:08:29I'm on it, yeah.
1:08:29 > 1:08:31I've never begged for mercy in my life.
1:08:31 > 1:08:32Twice.
1:08:32 > 1:08:36Yeah, you're right, flight double 'o' seven.
1:08:36 > 1:08:38- What did you say?- You're right.
1:08:38 > 1:08:40No, what did you say after that?
1:08:40 > 1:08:43Double 'o' seven, flight double 'o' seven.
1:08:43 > 1:08:45Double 'o' seven, double 'o' seven...
1:08:45 > 1:08:47Something, double 'o' seven...
1:08:47 > 1:08:48What?
1:09:05 > 1:09:09Double 'o' seven, double 'o' seven, what?
1:09:09 > 1:09:10What, something, what?!
1:09:13 > 1:09:15Bond Air is go.
1:09:15 > 1:09:16Bond Air is go.
1:09:18 > 1:09:21Bond Air is go.
1:09:27 > 1:09:30BLOWS RASPBERRY
1:10:21 > 1:10:25'Bond Air is go, that's decided.
1:10:25 > 1:10:27'Check with the Coventry lot.'
1:10:31 > 1:10:34- Coventry.- I've never been.
1:10:35 > 1:10:37Is it nice?
1:10:37 > 1:10:39Where's John?
1:10:39 > 1:10:41He went out, a couple of hours ago.
1:10:41 > 1:10:43I was just talking to him.
1:10:43 > 1:10:45He said you do that.
1:10:45 > 1:10:48What's Coventry got to do with anything?
1:10:50 > 1:10:52It's a story, probably not true -
1:10:52 > 1:10:57in the Second World War, the Allies knew Coventry was going to get bombed, because
1:10:57 > 1:11:01they'd broken the German code, but didn't want the Germans to know that,
1:11:01 > 1:11:04- so they let it happen anyway. - Have you ever had anyone?
1:11:06 > 1:11:08I'm sorry?
1:11:08 > 1:11:11And when I say had, I'm being indelicate.
1:11:11 > 1:11:13- I don't understand. - I'll be delicate then.
1:11:18 > 1:11:19- Let's have dinner.- Why?
1:11:19 > 1:11:22- You might be hungry. - I'm not.- Good.
1:11:22 > 1:11:29Why would I...want to have dinner...
1:11:29 > 1:11:31..if I wasn't hungry?
1:11:31 > 1:11:35Mr Holmes, if it was the end of the world,
1:11:35 > 1:11:37if this was the very last night...
1:11:39 > 1:11:42..would you have dinner with me?
1:11:42 > 1:11:43Sherlock?
1:11:43 > 1:11:45Too late.
1:11:45 > 1:11:50That's not the end of the world, that's Mrs Hudson.
1:11:50 > 1:11:54Sherlock, this man was at the door, is the bell still not working?
1:11:54 > 1:11:55He shot it.
1:11:55 > 1:11:57Have you come to take me away again?
1:11:57 > 1:11:59- Yes, Mr Holmes.- Well, I decline.
1:11:59 > 1:12:02I don't think you do.
1:12:30 > 1:12:32There's going to be a bomb on a passenger jet.
1:12:32 > 1:12:35The British and Americans know about it,
1:12:35 > 1:12:40but rather than expose their source they're going to let it happen - the plane will blow up.
1:12:40 > 1:12:43Coventry all over again.
1:12:43 > 1:12:46The wheel turns, nothing is ever new.
1:13:20 > 1:13:24Well, you're looking all better.
1:13:24 > 1:13:27How you feeling?
1:13:27 > 1:13:29Like putting a bullet in your brain, sir.
1:13:29 > 1:13:31Hmm.
1:13:32 > 1:13:35They'd pin a medal on me if I did...
1:13:35 > 1:13:37..sir.
1:14:15 > 1:14:18The Coventry conundrum.
1:14:18 > 1:14:20What do you think of my solution?
1:14:22 > 1:14:24The flight of the dead.
1:14:26 > 1:14:30Plane blows up midair, mission accomplished for the terrorists,
1:14:30 > 1:14:32hundreds of casualties, but nobody dies.
1:14:32 > 1:14:35Neat, don't you think?
1:14:35 > 1:14:38You've been stumbling around the fringes of this one for ages.
1:14:38 > 1:14:42Or were you too bored to notice the pattern?
1:14:42 > 1:14:45They wouldn't let us see Granddad when he was dead.
1:14:45 > 1:14:49She's not my real aunt - I know human ash.
1:14:49 > 1:14:52We ran a similar project with the Germans a while back,
1:14:52 > 1:14:56though I believe one of our passengers didn't make the flight.
1:14:58 > 1:15:01But that's the deceased for you...
1:15:01 > 1:15:04..late, in every sense of the word.
1:15:04 > 1:15:06How is the plane going to fly?
1:15:06 > 1:15:09Oh, of course, unmanned aircraft, hardly new.
1:15:09 > 1:15:10It doesn't fly.
1:15:10 > 1:15:12It will never fly.
1:15:12 > 1:15:14This entire project is cancelled.
1:15:14 > 1:15:18The terrorist cells have been informed we know about the bomb.
1:15:18 > 1:15:20We can't fool them now.
1:15:22 > 1:15:24We've lost everything.
1:15:24 > 1:15:26One fragment of one email,
1:15:26 > 1:15:31and months and years of planning - finished.
1:15:32 > 1:15:35- Your MOD man. - That's all it takes.
1:15:35 > 1:15:38One lonely, naive man, desperate to show off,
1:15:38 > 1:15:42and a woman clever enough to make him feel special.
1:15:44 > 1:15:46You should screen your defence people more carefully.
1:15:46 > 1:15:51I'm not talking about the MOD man, Sherlock, I'm talking about you!
1:15:53 > 1:15:55The damsel in distress.
1:15:57 > 1:16:01In the end, are you really so obvious?
1:16:01 > 1:16:02Because this was textbook.
1:16:04 > 1:16:08The promise of love, the pain of loss, the joy of redemption.
1:16:10 > 1:16:13Then give him a puzzle and watch him dance.
1:16:15 > 1:16:16Don't be absurd!
1:16:16 > 1:16:18Absurd?
1:16:18 > 1:16:21How quickly did you decipher that email for her?
1:16:21 > 1:16:23Was it the full minute?
1:16:23 > 1:16:26Or were you really eager to impress?
1:16:26 > 1:16:28I think it was less than five seconds.
1:16:29 > 1:16:31I drove you into her path.
1:16:34 > 1:16:37I'm sorry, I didn't know.
1:16:37 > 1:16:39Mr Holmes, I think we need to talk.
1:16:39 > 1:16:43So do I, there are a number of aspects I'm still not clear on.
1:16:43 > 1:16:45Not you, Junior, you're done now.
1:16:46 > 1:16:48There's more, loads more.
1:16:48 > 1:16:51On this phone I've got secrets, pictures
1:16:51 > 1:16:54and scandals that could topple your whole world.
1:16:54 > 1:16:58You have no idea how much havoc I can cause and exactly one way to stop me.
1:16:58 > 1:17:00Unless you want to tell your masters
1:17:00 > 1:17:04that your biggest security leak is your own little brother.
1:17:12 > 1:17:14We have people who can get into this.
1:17:14 > 1:17:17I tested that theory for you.
1:17:17 > 1:17:20I let Sherlock Holmes try it for six months.
1:17:20 > 1:17:24Sherlock, dear, tell him what you found when you x-rayed my phone.
1:17:24 > 1:17:26Four additional units wired inside the casing,
1:17:26 > 1:17:29I suspect containing acid or a small explosive.
1:17:29 > 1:17:32Any attempt to open it will burn the hard drive.
1:17:32 > 1:17:33Explosive.
1:17:33 > 1:17:35It's more me.
1:17:35 > 1:17:38Some data is always recoverable.
1:17:38 > 1:17:39Take that risk.
1:17:39 > 1:17:41You have a passcode to open this.
1:17:41 > 1:17:45I deeply regret to say, we have people who can extract it from you.
1:17:45 > 1:17:47- Sherlock?- There will be two passcodes -
1:17:47 > 1:17:50one to open the phone, one to burn the drive.
1:17:50 > 1:17:53Even under duress, you can't know which one she's given
1:17:53 > 1:17:56- and there would be no second attempt.- He's good, isn't he?
1:17:56 > 1:17:58I should have him on a leash.
1:17:58 > 1:18:00In fact, I might.
1:18:00 > 1:18:04We destroy this, then. No-one has the information.
1:18:04 > 1:18:05Fine, good idea.
1:18:05 > 1:18:08Unless there are lives of British citizens
1:18:08 > 1:18:10depending on the information you burn.
1:18:10 > 1:18:14- Are there? - Telling you would be playing fair.
1:18:14 > 1:18:16I'm not playing any more.
1:18:19 > 1:18:21A list of my requests,
1:18:21 > 1:18:25and some ideas about my protection once they're granted.
1:18:27 > 1:18:32I'd say it wouldn't blow much of a hole in the wealth of a nation, but then I'd be lying.
1:18:35 > 1:18:39- I imagine you'd like to sleep on it. - Thank you, yes.
1:18:39 > 1:18:40Too bad.
1:18:41 > 1:18:43Off you pop and talk to people.
1:18:47 > 1:18:50You've been very...thorough.
1:18:51 > 1:18:54I wish our lot were half as good as you.
1:18:54 > 1:18:58I can't take all the credit, I had a bit of help.
1:18:59 > 1:19:01Jim Moriarty sends his love.
1:19:01 > 1:19:03Yes, he's been in touch.
1:19:03 > 1:19:07Seems desperate for my attention,
1:19:07 > 1:19:09which I'm sure can be arranged.
1:19:09 > 1:19:12I had all this stuff and never knew what to do with it.
1:19:12 > 1:19:15Thank God for the consultant criminal.
1:19:15 > 1:19:19Gave me a lot of advice about how to play the Holmes boys.
1:19:19 > 1:19:21Do you know what he calls you?
1:19:21 > 1:19:24The Ice Man...
1:19:24 > 1:19:25..and the Virgin.
1:19:26 > 1:19:30Didn't even ask for anything, he just likes to cause trouble -
1:19:30 > 1:19:31that's my kind of man.
1:19:31 > 1:19:33And here you are,
1:19:33 > 1:19:38the dominatrix who brought a nation to its knees.
1:19:38 > 1:19:40Nicely played.
1:19:40 > 1:19:42No.
1:19:43 > 1:19:44Sorry?
1:19:47 > 1:19:48I said no.
1:19:48 > 1:19:51Very, very close, but no.
1:19:51 > 1:19:52You got carried away.
1:19:52 > 1:19:56The game was too elaborate, you were enjoying yourself too much.
1:19:56 > 1:19:58There's no such thing as too much.
1:19:58 > 1:20:00Oh, enjoying the thrill of the chase is fine.
1:20:00 > 1:20:04Craving the distraction of the game, I sympathise, but sentiment?
1:20:04 > 1:20:07Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side.
1:20:07 > 1:20:10Sentiment? What are you talking about?
1:20:10 > 1:20:12You.
1:20:13 > 1:20:15Oh, dear God.
1:20:15 > 1:20:17Look at the poor man.
1:20:18 > 1:20:21You don't actually think I was interested in you?
1:20:21 > 1:20:23Why?
1:20:23 > 1:20:25Because you're the great Sherlock Holmes,
1:20:25 > 1:20:27the clever detective in the funny hat?
1:20:27 > 1:20:30No.
1:20:35 > 1:20:37Because I took your pulse.
1:20:47 > 1:20:49Elevated.
1:20:49 > 1:20:51Your pupils dilated.
1:20:55 > 1:20:58I imagine John Watson thinks love's a mystery to me,
1:20:58 > 1:21:02but the chemistry is incredibly simple and very destructive.
1:21:02 > 1:21:07When we first met, you told me that disguise is always a self-portrait - how true of you.
1:21:07 > 1:21:10the combination to your safe, your measurements -
1:21:10 > 1:21:11but this, this is far more intimate,
1:21:11 > 1:21:15this is your heart and you should never let it rule your head.
1:21:15 > 1:21:19You could have chosen any number and walked out with everything.
1:21:19 > 1:21:22But you just couldn't resist it, could you?
1:21:22 > 1:21:27I've always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage.
1:21:27 > 1:21:29Thank you for the final proof.
1:21:30 > 1:21:33Everything I said, it's not real.
1:21:35 > 1:21:37I was just playing the game.
1:21:37 > 1:21:40I know.
1:21:40 > 1:21:42And this is just losing.
1:21:50 > 1:21:53There you are, Brother,
1:21:53 > 1:21:56hope the contents make up for any inconvenience caused tonight.
1:21:56 > 1:21:59- I'm certain they will. - If you're feeling kind, lock her up,
1:21:59 > 1:22:01let her go and I doubt she'll survive long.
1:22:01 > 1:22:04- Are you expecting me to beg? - Yes.
1:22:09 > 1:22:10Please.
1:22:12 > 1:22:14You're right.
1:22:15 > 1:22:17I won't even last six months.
1:22:19 > 1:22:21Sorry about dinner.
1:22:46 > 1:22:47You don't smoke.
1:22:47 > 1:22:50I also don't frequent cafes.
1:22:58 > 1:23:01This the file on Irene Adler?
1:23:01 > 1:23:03Closed forever.
1:23:03 > 1:23:06I am about to go and inform my brother -
1:23:06 > 1:23:08or, if you prefer, you are -
1:23:08 > 1:23:13that she somehow got herself into a witness protection scheme in America.
1:23:13 > 1:23:16New name, new identity.
1:23:16 > 1:23:20She will survive and thrive...
1:23:20 > 1:23:22..but he will never see her again.
1:23:22 > 1:23:23Why would he care?
1:23:23 > 1:23:25He despised her at the end.
1:23:25 > 1:23:28Won't even mention her by name, just 'The Woman'.
1:23:28 > 1:23:31Is that loathing or a salute?
1:23:32 > 1:23:36One of a kind, the one woman who matters.
1:23:36 > 1:23:38He's not like that.
1:23:38 > 1:23:42He doesn't feel things that way, I don't think.
1:23:42 > 1:23:45My brother has the brain of a scientist or a philosopher,
1:23:45 > 1:23:47yet he elects to be a detective.
1:23:49 > 1:23:51What might we deduce about his heart?
1:23:51 > 1:23:52I don't know.
1:23:52 > 1:23:54Neither do I.
1:23:54 > 1:23:57But, initially, he wanted to be a pirate.
1:24:00 > 1:24:01He'll be OK with this -
1:24:01 > 1:24:04witness protection, never seeing her again - he'll be fine.
1:24:04 > 1:24:07I agree.
1:24:07 > 1:24:09That's why I decided to tell him that.
1:24:11 > 1:24:13Instead of what?
1:24:14 > 1:24:15She's dead.
1:24:17 > 1:24:20She was captured by a terrorist cell in Karachi two months ago
1:24:20 > 1:24:23and beheaded.
1:24:27 > 1:24:29It was definitely her?
1:24:29 > 1:24:30She's done this before.
1:24:30 > 1:24:32I was thorough this time.
1:24:33 > 1:24:36It would take Sherlock Holmes to fool me,
1:24:36 > 1:24:40and I don't think he was on hand, do you?
1:24:41 > 1:24:43So...
1:24:50 > 1:24:52What shall we tell Sherlock?
1:24:59 > 1:25:01Clearly you've got news.
1:25:01 > 1:25:04If it's about the Leeds triple murder, it was the gardener.
1:25:04 > 1:25:07- Did nobody notice the earring?- Hi.
1:25:07 > 1:25:11Er no, it's, um...it's about Irene Adler.
1:25:13 > 1:25:15Well?
1:25:15 > 1:25:17Something happened? Has she come back?
1:25:17 > 1:25:21No, she's...I bumped into Mycroft downstairs, he had to take a call.
1:25:21 > 1:25:23Is she back in London?
1:25:23 > 1:25:25No...
1:25:25 > 1:25:26She's, er...
1:25:30 > 1:25:33- She's in America. - America?
1:25:33 > 1:25:36Got herself on a witness protection scheme, apparently.
1:25:36 > 1:25:41Don't know how she swung it, but...well, you know.
1:25:41 > 1:25:44- I know what?- You won't be able to see her again.
1:25:44 > 1:25:47- Why would I want to see her again? - Didn't say you did.
1:25:47 > 1:25:51- Is that her file? - Yes, I was going to take it back to Mycroft.
1:25:51 > 1:25:52- Do you want to...- No.
1:26:01 > 1:26:02Listen, actually...
1:26:02 > 1:26:05But I will have the camera-phone though.
1:26:06 > 1:26:09- There's nothing on it, it's been stripped...- I know, but I...
1:26:09 > 1:26:11..I'll still have it.
1:26:11 > 1:26:14I've got to give this back to Mycroft, you can't keep it.
1:26:16 > 1:26:20Sherlock, I have to give this to Mycroft, it's the government's now...
1:26:20 > 1:26:22Please.
1:26:34 > 1:26:36Thank you.
1:26:38 > 1:26:40- Well, I'd better take this back. - Yes.
1:26:49 > 1:26:53Did she ever text you again, after all that?
1:26:53 > 1:26:56Once, a few months ago.
1:26:56 > 1:26:58What did she say?
1:26:58 > 1:27:00"Goodbye, Mr Holmes."
1:28:08 > 1:28:10EROTIC MOAN TEXT ALERT
1:28:12 > 1:28:14When I say run...
1:28:14 > 1:28:16..run!
1:28:30 > 1:28:33HE LAUGHS
1:28:33 > 1:28:35The Woman.
1:28:42 > 1:28:44- THE- Woman.
1:29:21 > 1:29:23Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
1:29:23 > 1:29:26E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk