The Lying Detective

0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.

0:00:14 > 0:00:16Tell me about your morning.

0:00:20 > 0:00:21Start from the beginning.

0:00:25 > 0:00:27I woke up.

0:00:27 > 0:00:28How did you sleep?

0:00:30 > 0:00:32I didn't. I don't.

0:00:33 > 0:00:35You just said you woke up.

0:00:36 > 0:00:37I stopped lying down.

0:00:40 > 0:00:41Alone?

0:00:46 > 0:00:48Of course alone.

0:00:48 > 0:00:52I meant Rosie. Your daughter.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54- Er, she's with friends.- Why?

0:00:56 > 0:00:57Can't always cope.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02And, er, last night wasn't good.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06That's understandable.

0:01:06 > 0:01:09Is it? Why? Why is it understandable?

0:01:09 > 0:01:12Why does everything have to be understandable?

0:01:12 > 0:01:16Why can't some things be unacceptable and we just say that?

0:01:18 > 0:01:20I only mean it's OK.

0:01:20 > 0:01:24I'm letting my daughter down, how the hell is that OK?

0:01:24 > 0:01:25You just lost your wife.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27And Rosie just lost her mother.

0:01:32 > 0:01:37You are holding yourself to an unreasonable standard.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39No, I'm failing to.

0:01:40 > 0:01:45So there is no-one you talk to? Confide in?

0:01:45 > 0:01:47No-one.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49Oh, I'm picking up Rosie this afternoon,

0:01:49 > 0:01:51after I've seen my therapist.

0:01:51 > 0:01:54Got a new one, seeing her today.

0:01:54 > 0:01:56Are you going to tell her about me?

0:01:56 > 0:01:57No.

0:01:59 > 0:02:00Why not?

0:02:00 > 0:02:02- Because I can't.- Why not?

0:02:02 > 0:02:04Because I can't. You know I can't. She thinks you're dead.

0:02:04 > 0:02:07John, you've got to remember, it's important.

0:02:08 > 0:02:09I am dead.

0:02:11 > 0:02:16Please, for your own sake and for Rosie's, this isn't real.

0:02:16 > 0:02:19- I'm dead. John, look at me. - Hmm.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21I'm not here.

0:02:21 > 0:02:24You know that, don't you?

0:02:26 > 0:02:27OK, I'll see you later.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32Is there anything you're not telling me?

0:02:35 > 0:02:36No.

0:02:39 > 0:02:41What are you looking at?

0:02:41 > 0:02:43Nothing.

0:02:43 > 0:02:46You keep glancing to my left.

0:02:46 > 0:02:49Oh, I suppose I was just looking away.

0:02:49 > 0:02:53There is a difference between looking away and looking to.

0:02:53 > 0:02:57- I tend to notice these things. - I'm sure.

0:02:57 > 0:03:01Now, I am reminding you of your friend, I think.

0:03:01 > 0:03:03That's not necessarily a good thing.

0:03:04 > 0:03:06Do you talk to Sherlock Holmes?

0:03:06 > 0:03:08I haven't seen him. No-one's seen him.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11He's locked himself away in his flat. God knows what he's up to.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13Do you blame him?

0:03:13 > 0:03:15I don't blame... I don't think about him.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18- Has he attempted to make contact with you?- No.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20How can you be sure? He might have tried.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22No, if Sherlock Holmes wants to get in touch,

0:03:22 > 0:03:24that's not something you can fail to notice.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26CAR ENGINE ACCELERATES

0:03:26 > 0:03:28TYRES SQUEAL

0:03:28 > 0:03:29CLATTERING

0:03:29 > 0:03:31SIREN WAILS

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Well, now, won't you introduce me?

0:04:38 > 0:04:41- REPORTER:- Mr Smith, will you say something about your property...

0:04:45 > 0:04:46Hello.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52Mr Smith? Whenever you are ready.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55The charity fund...

0:04:55 > 0:04:56Now, please.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58Bring them through.

0:05:06 > 0:05:11It's difficult, having such good friends.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14Friends are people you want to share with.

0:05:15 > 0:05:19Friends and family.

0:05:21 > 0:05:27What's the very worst thing you can do to your very best friends?

0:05:30 > 0:05:31Something on your mind?

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Yes, Ivan.

0:05:35 > 0:05:36Oh, yes.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40Whatever you tell us stays in this room.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42I think I speak for everyone.

0:05:42 > 0:05:44MURMURS OF ASSENT

0:05:45 > 0:05:48Well, what is the worst thing you could do?

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Tell them your darkest secret.

0:05:53 > 0:06:00Because if you tell them and they decide they'd rather not know,

0:06:00 > 0:06:02you can't take it back.

0:06:02 > 0:06:05You can't unsay it.

0:06:06 > 0:06:11Once you've opened your heart, you can't close it again.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17CULVERTON ROARS WITH LAUGHTER

0:06:18 > 0:06:20I'm kidding!

0:06:21 > 0:06:23Of course you can.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Well, everyone, please roll up your right sleeves.

0:06:28 > 0:06:32Roll up your right sleeves. Come on.

0:06:32 > 0:06:33Oh, it's, er...

0:06:33 > 0:06:36It's a bit of insurance.

0:06:36 > 0:06:37I don't understand. What is that?

0:06:39 > 0:06:40TD 12.

0:06:41 > 0:06:42One of ours.

0:06:42 > 0:06:44One of yours?

0:06:44 > 0:06:46We make it. My company, TD 12.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49Sells mainly to dentists and hospitals,

0:06:49 > 0:06:51for minor surgical procedures.

0:06:52 > 0:06:53Interferes with...

0:06:55 > 0:06:56..with the memory.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58The memory. Yes.

0:07:00 > 0:07:04I want to thank you, Ivan, for allowing me to use it.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07I didn't exactly know who you were going to be using it on.

0:07:07 > 0:07:10You mean you didn't ask?

0:07:10 > 0:07:11Is everyone ready?

0:07:11 > 0:07:15- No.- Please, roll up your sleeves. Come on, roll up.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24This is obscene.

0:07:24 > 0:07:25All I'm doing, Faith, dear...

0:07:27 > 0:07:32..is getting something off my chest, without getting it on yours.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36What you're about to hear me say may horrify you, but...

0:07:37 > 0:07:39..you will forget it.

0:07:39 > 0:07:40If you think about it,

0:07:40 > 0:07:45civilisation has always depended on a measure of elective ignorance.

0:07:46 > 0:07:47HE CHUCKLES

0:07:51 > 0:07:55These drip feeds will keep the drug in your bloodstreams

0:07:55 > 0:07:57at exactly the right levels.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00Nothing that is happening to you now will stay with you

0:08:00 > 0:08:03for more than a few minutes.

0:08:03 > 0:08:07I'm afraid that some of the memories you've had up to this point

0:08:07 > 0:08:09might also be...

0:08:12 > 0:08:14..corrupted.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18I'm going to share something with you now,

0:08:18 > 0:08:23something personal and of importance to me.

0:08:24 > 0:08:31I have a need to confess, but you, I think, might have a need to forget.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35By the end of this, you'll be free to go, and don't worry,

0:08:35 > 0:08:39by the time you're back in the outside world,

0:08:39 > 0:08:42you will not remember any of what you've heard.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Ignorance is bliss.

0:08:44 > 0:08:45Well, what's wrong with bliss?

0:08:45 > 0:08:47DISTORTED TONE

0:08:47 > 0:08:50Some of you know each other and some of you don't.

0:08:52 > 0:08:58Please, be aware that one of you is a high-ranking police officer.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02One of you is a member of the judiciary.

0:09:05 > 0:09:11One of you sits on the board of a prominent broadcaster.

0:09:12 > 0:09:13Two of you work for me.

0:09:13 > 0:09:18And one of you, of course, is my lovely daughter, Faith.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23You are the people I need to hear me.

0:09:24 > 0:09:27I have made millions.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30For myself, for the people round this table,

0:09:30 > 0:09:33for millions of people I've never even met.

0:09:33 > 0:09:34REPORTERS CLAMOUR

0:09:34 > 0:09:38There are charities that I support who wouldn't exist without me.

0:09:40 > 0:09:43If life is a balance sheet, and I think it is,

0:09:43 > 0:09:45why, I believe I'm in credit!

0:09:49 > 0:09:55But I have a situation that needs to be...managed.

0:09:56 > 0:10:01I have a problem and there is only one way that I can solve it.

0:10:04 > 0:10:05And what's that?

0:10:09 > 0:10:11I'm terribly sorry.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19I need to kill someone.

0:10:23 > 0:10:24Who?

0:10:32 > 0:10:35Were we in a meeting? Was there a meeting?

0:10:40 > 0:10:41Need to kill someone.

0:10:41 > 0:10:42Faith...

0:10:45 > 0:10:47- My dear, dear girl. - I can't remember.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50Can't remember who you were going to kill.

0:10:51 > 0:10:57Dear, in five minutes, you won't even remember why you were crying.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00The others are all fine.

0:11:00 > 0:11:02You know they've gone down the pub.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04It's all on me!

0:11:05 > 0:11:06FAITH CRIES

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Oh, Faith, don't you think I should take that?

0:11:11 > 0:11:14It's only going to upset you. Hmm?

0:11:18 > 0:11:21Three years ago, my father told me he wanted to kill someone.

0:11:22 > 0:11:26One word, Mr Holmes, and it changed my world forever.

0:11:28 > 0:11:29Just one word.

0:11:29 > 0:11:30What word?

0:11:32 > 0:11:33A name.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35What name?

0:11:38 > 0:11:39I can't remember.

0:11:41 > 0:11:43I can't remember who my father wanted to kill.

0:11:44 > 0:11:47- And I don't know if he ever did it. - Well, you've changed,

0:11:47 > 0:11:50you no longer top up your tan and your roots are showing.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52Letting yourself go?

0:11:52 > 0:11:55Do you ever look in the mirror and want to see someone else?

0:11:55 > 0:11:57- No, do you own an American car? - I'm sorry?

0:11:57 > 0:11:59No, not American, left-hand drive, that's what I mean.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01No. Why do you ask?

0:12:02 > 0:12:05Not sure, actually, probably just noticed something.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15Are you OK?

0:12:15 > 0:12:17Oh, of course you don't own a car, you don't need one, do you,

0:12:17 > 0:12:20living in isolation, no human contact, no visitors.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22- OK, how do you know that? - Well, it's all here, isn't it? Look.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24Cost-cutting is clearly a priority for you,

0:12:24 > 0:12:26look at the size of your kitchen, teeny tiny.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28Must be a bit annoying when you're such a keen cook.

0:12:28 > 0:12:29- I don't understand... - Hang on a minute,

0:12:29 > 0:12:32I was looking out of the window, why was I doing that?

0:12:32 > 0:12:33- I don't know.- Me neither. Must have had a reason.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35It'll come back to me.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39Presumably you downsized when you... when you left your job

0:12:39 > 0:12:41and maybe when you ended your relationship.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44- You can't know that. - Course I can.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47There wasn't anything physical going on, was there?

0:12:47 > 0:12:50For quite some time, in fact.

0:12:50 > 0:12:51There, see? It's obvious.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53You can't tell things like that from a piece of paper.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55I think I just did, didn't I?

0:12:55 > 0:12:56I'm sure that was me.

0:12:56 > 0:12:57How?

0:12:57 > 0:13:00Don't know. Just sort of happens really.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03It's like a reflex, I can't stop it.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14Coat.

0:13:14 > 0:13:15I don't have a coat.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18Yes, what I just noticed. I wonder why.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20Who are you talking to?

0:13:20 > 0:13:21Piss off!

0:13:23 > 0:13:24So what do you think?

0:13:24 > 0:13:26- Of what?- My case.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28Oh, it's way too weird for me. Go to the police,

0:13:28 > 0:13:31they're really excellent at dealing with this complicated sort of stuff.

0:13:31 > 0:13:34Tell them I sent you - that ought to get a reaction. Night-night.

0:13:34 > 0:13:35SLOWED-DOWN WHOOSH

0:13:51 > 0:13:54Please... I have no-one else to turn to.

0:13:54 > 0:13:56Yes, well, I'm very busy at the moment,

0:13:56 > 0:13:58I have to drink a cup of tea.

0:14:01 > 0:14:04Is "cup of tea"...code?

0:14:04 > 0:14:05It's a cup of tea.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08Because you might prefer some "coffee".

0:14:10 > 0:14:12You're my last hope.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15Really? That's bad luck, isn't it? Goodnight, go away.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18What's bad luck?

0:14:18 > 0:14:21Stop talking, it makes me aware of your existence.

0:14:21 > 0:14:24I've always had bad luck. It's congenital.

0:14:24 > 0:14:25Handbag!

0:14:25 > 0:14:27That's not rude. Congenital. It just means...

0:14:27 > 0:14:29Handbag!

0:14:30 > 0:14:33Stop! Wait! Your life is not your own!

0:14:33 > 0:14:34Keep your hands off it, do you hear me?

0:14:34 > 0:14:37Off it. Off it.

0:14:37 > 0:14:41Sorry? What? What are you talking about?

0:14:41 > 0:14:43- Your skirt.- My skirt?

0:14:43 > 0:14:45Look at the hem of it, that's what I noticed.

0:14:45 > 0:14:48Sorry, I'm still catching up with my brain. It's terribly fast.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50Those markings, you see them?

0:14:50 > 0:14:52You only get marks like that by trapping the hem of your skirt

0:14:52 > 0:14:54in a car door, but they're on the left-hand side,

0:14:54 > 0:14:56so you weren't driving, you were in the passenger seat.

0:14:56 > 0:14:58I came in a taxi.

0:14:58 > 0:14:59There is no taxi waiting in the street outside,

0:14:59 > 0:15:02that's what I checked when I went to the window.

0:15:02 > 0:15:03And you've got all the way to the door

0:15:03 > 0:15:05and not made any move to phone for one.

0:15:05 > 0:15:06And look at you.

0:15:06 > 0:15:08You didn't even bring a coat, in this rain?

0:15:08 > 0:15:10Now, all that might mean nothing,

0:15:10 > 0:15:14except with the angle of the scars on your left forearm,

0:15:14 > 0:15:16you know, under that sleeve you keep pulling down.

0:15:16 > 0:15:17You never saw them.

0:15:17 > 0:15:20No, I didn't, so thank you for confirming my hypothesis.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22I don't really need to check

0:15:22 > 0:15:24- that the angle is consistent with self-harm, do I?- No.

0:15:24 > 0:15:26Then you can keep your scars.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28I want to see your handbag.

0:15:28 > 0:15:30Why?

0:15:30 > 0:15:31It's too heavy.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34You said I was your last hope and now you are going out into the night

0:15:34 > 0:15:36with no plan on how you're getting home...

0:15:37 > 0:15:39..and a gun.

0:15:45 > 0:15:47- Chips.- Chips?

0:15:47 > 0:15:49You're suicidal, you're allowed chips.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51Trust me, it's about the only perk.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00Sherlock? Are you going out?

0:16:00 > 0:16:03I think I remember the way, it's through there, isn't it?

0:16:03 > 0:16:06But you're in no state, look at you!

0:16:06 > 0:16:08Yeah, well, I've got a friend with me, so...

0:16:08 > 0:16:09What friend?

0:16:09 > 0:16:10Bye.

0:16:12 > 0:16:13Oh!

0:16:17 > 0:16:18Come on.

0:16:18 > 0:16:23I'm Culverton Smith, and this election year, I'll be voting...

0:16:24 > 0:16:27For God's sake! I was talking to the Prime Minister.

0:16:27 > 0:16:31I'm sorry, Mr Holmes, it's your brother. He's left his flat.

0:16:31 > 0:16:34Was it on fire?

0:16:34 > 0:16:35SIZZLING

0:16:35 > 0:16:39'Even when I'm on the road, I still like quality food.'

0:16:43 > 0:16:45You see the fold in the middle?

0:16:45 > 0:16:48For the first few months you kept this hidden, folded inside a book.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50It must have been a tightly packed shelf,

0:16:50 > 0:16:52going by the severity of the crease.

0:16:52 > 0:16:54So obviously you were keeping it hidden

0:16:54 > 0:16:56from someone living in the same house at a level of intimacy

0:16:56 > 0:17:00where privacy could not be assumed. Conclusion - relationship.

0:17:00 > 0:17:01Not any more, though.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04There's a pinprick at the top of the paper.

0:17:04 > 0:17:06For the past few months it's been on open display on a wall.

0:17:06 > 0:17:09Conclusion? Relationship is over.

0:17:09 > 0:17:11The paper's been exposed to steam in a variety of cooking smells,

0:17:11 > 0:17:13so it must have been on display in the kitchen.

0:17:15 > 0:17:18A lot of different spices, you're suicidal,

0:17:18 > 0:17:22alone and strapped for cash, yet you're still cooking to impress.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24You're keen, then.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27The kitchen is the most public room in any house.

0:17:27 > 0:17:30And since any visitor could be expected to ask about

0:17:30 > 0:17:33a note like this, I have to assume you don't have any.

0:17:34 > 0:17:35You've isolated yourself.

0:17:37 > 0:17:38Amazing.

0:17:38 > 0:17:39I know.

0:17:41 > 0:17:42I meant the chips.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49Hmm.

0:17:49 > 0:17:50HELICOPTER WHIRS

0:17:54 > 0:17:56Let's go for a walk.

0:18:02 > 0:18:03PHONE BUZZES

0:18:04 > 0:18:09- You should answer it.- It's Mycroft. - Might be about Sherlock.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11Of course it's about Sherlock. Everything's about Sherlock.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13'How did you know my kitchen was tiny?'

0:18:13 > 0:18:16Well, look, the fading pattern on the paper, it's not much,

0:18:16 > 0:18:18but it's enough to know your kitchen window faces east.

0:18:18 > 0:18:20Now, kitchen noticeboards.

0:18:21 > 0:18:26By instinct, you place them at eye level, where there's natural light.

0:18:26 > 0:18:30Now look, the sun's only struck the bottom two thirds,

0:18:30 > 0:18:32but the line is straight,

0:18:32 > 0:18:35so that means we know the paper is facing the window.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41But, because the top section is unaffected,

0:18:41 > 0:18:45we know the sunlight can only be entering the room at a steep angle.

0:18:45 > 0:18:49If the sunlight was able to penetrate the room

0:18:49 > 0:18:51when the sun was lower in the sky,

0:18:51 > 0:18:54then the paper would be equally faded, top to bottom.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57But no - it only makes it when the sun is at its zenith,

0:18:57 > 0:19:02so I'm betting that you live in a narrow street on the ground floor.

0:19:04 > 0:19:08Now, if steeply angled sunlight manages to hit eye level

0:19:08 > 0:19:11on the wall opposite the window, then what do we know about the room?

0:19:18 > 0:19:19The room's small.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21HELICOPTER WHIRS

0:19:21 > 0:19:22Oh, Big Brother is watching you!

0:19:22 > 0:19:23Literally.

0:19:24 > 0:19:28We can keep tabs. You didn't have to come in.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30I was talking to the Prime Minister.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32Oh, I see.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34What's he doing?

0:19:34 > 0:19:36Why is he just wandering about like a fool?

0:19:36 > 0:19:40She died, Mycroft. He's probably still in shock.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42Everybody dies.

0:19:42 > 0:19:45It's the one thing human beings can be relied upon to do.

0:19:45 > 0:19:47How can it still come as a surprise to people?

0:19:47 > 0:19:49You sound cross.

0:19:49 > 0:19:52Am I going to be taken away by security again?

0:19:52 > 0:19:55I have, I think, apologised extensively.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57You haven't made it up to me.

0:19:57 > 0:19:58And how am I supposed to do that?

0:19:58 > 0:20:00- Sex.- I'm sorry?

0:20:00 > 0:20:06Sex. How did you know I wasn't getting any?

0:20:06 > 0:20:07It's all about the blood.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09This one comes from the very first night.

0:20:09 > 0:20:11You can see the pen marks over it.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13I think you discovered that pain stimulated your memory,

0:20:13 > 0:20:15so you tried it again later.

0:20:15 > 0:20:18I'm no expert, but I assume that since your lover failed to notice

0:20:18 > 0:20:21an increasing number of scars over a period of months,

0:20:21 > 0:20:23that the relationship was no longer intimate.

0:20:23 > 0:20:25How do you know he didn't notice?

0:20:25 > 0:20:28- Oh, well, cos he would have done something about it.- Would he?

0:20:28 > 0:20:30Wouldn't he? Isn't that what you people do?

0:20:30 > 0:20:32- Well, that's interesting.- What is?

0:20:32 > 0:20:35- The way you think.- Superbly? - Sweetly.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38I'm not sweet, I'm just high. This way.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41- Well, we just came that way. - I know, it's a plan.

0:20:41 > 0:20:43What plan?

0:20:43 > 0:20:45What is it? What... What now?

0:20:45 > 0:20:48Sorry, um, traced his route on the map.

0:20:52 > 0:20:53HE SIGHS

0:20:55 > 0:20:56Is he with someone?

0:20:56 > 0:20:58Not sure. We keep losing visual.

0:20:58 > 0:21:00Mostly we're tracking his phone.

0:21:00 > 0:21:03Don't call us, we'll call...

0:21:03 > 0:21:05I'm trying to sleep, can you stop ringing my damn phone?

0:21:05 > 0:21:08'Sherlock has left his flat, first time in a week.'

0:21:08 > 0:21:10- So I'm having him tracked.- 'Nice.'

0:21:10 > 0:21:12It's very touching how you can hijack the machinery

0:21:12 > 0:21:14of the state to look after your own family.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16Can I go to sleep now?

0:21:16 > 0:21:18Sherlock gone rogue is a legitimate security concern.

0:21:18 > 0:21:21The fact that I'm his brother changes absolutely nothing.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24It didn't the last time, and I assure you, it won't with...

0:21:28 > 0:21:29..with Sherlock.

0:21:30 > 0:21:31Sorry, what?

0:21:31 > 0:21:34'Please phone me if he gets in contact, thank you.'

0:21:36 > 0:21:39Do you still speak to Sherrinford?

0:21:39 > 0:21:41I get regular updates.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43And?

0:21:43 > 0:21:45Sherrinford is secure.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47Are we going to walk all night?

0:21:47 > 0:21:50Possibly. It's a long word.

0:21:50 > 0:21:51What is?

0:21:51 > 0:21:53"Bollocks".

0:21:56 > 0:21:59Culverton Smith, all this charity work,

0:21:59 > 0:22:01what's in it for you?

0:22:01 > 0:22:05We must be careful not to burn our bridges.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09Do you know why I'm going to take your case?

0:22:09 > 0:22:12Because of the one impossible thing you said.

0:22:12 > 0:22:13What impossible thing?

0:22:13 > 0:22:16You said your life turned on one word.

0:22:16 > 0:22:20Yes. The name of the person my father wanted to kill.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22That's the impossible thing. Just that, right there.

0:22:22 > 0:22:23What's impossible?

0:22:23 > 0:22:26Names are not one word. They're always at least two.

0:22:26 > 0:22:30Sherlock Holmes. Faith Smith. Santa Claus. Winston Churchill.

0:22:30 > 0:22:33Napoleon Bonaparte... Actually, just Napoleon would do.

0:22:33 > 0:22:35Or Elvis.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Well, I think we can rule both of them out as targets.

0:22:37 > 0:22:39OK, I got it wrong, then.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41It wasn't on one word, it can't have been.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43And you remember quite distinctly

0:22:43 > 0:22:45that your whole life turned on one word.

0:22:45 > 0:22:48So that happened, I don't doubt it, but how can that word be a name?

0:22:48 > 0:22:51A name you instantly recognised that tore your world apart?

0:22:51 > 0:22:54- OK, well, how? - No idea...yet.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57But I don't work for free.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03- You take cash?- Not cash, no.

0:23:21 > 0:23:26Taking your own life. Interesting expression - taking it from who?

0:23:26 > 0:23:31Once it's over, it's not you who'll miss it.

0:23:31 > 0:23:32GUNSHOT

0:23:35 > 0:23:38Your own death is something that happens to everybody else.

0:23:38 > 0:23:42Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it.

0:23:46 > 0:23:48You're not what I expected, you...

0:23:49 > 0:23:50HE GROANS

0:23:51 > 0:23:54- What? What am I?- Nicer.

0:23:54 > 0:23:57Than who?

0:23:57 > 0:23:59- Anyone. - HE WAILS

0:24:01 > 0:24:03- CHILD SINGS:- # My little master

0:24:03 > 0:24:06# Who will find me... #

0:24:08 > 0:24:09Sorry, I...

0:24:12 > 0:24:13Faith?

0:24:14 > 0:24:15Faith?

0:24:26 > 0:24:29ECHOING: 'You said your life turned on one word.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31'A name can't be one word.

0:24:31 > 0:24:33'If you were to come round asking after him

0:24:33 > 0:24:36'that he'd rather have anyone but you. Anyone.

0:24:36 > 0:24:39'You're not what I expected.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42- 'What? What am I?- Nicer.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44- 'Than who?- Anyone.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46'Don't think anyone else is going to save him,

0:24:46 > 0:24:48'because there isn't anyone.'

0:24:48 > 0:24:50- 'Anyone.- Anyone.- Anyone.- Anyone. - Anyone.- Anyone.'

0:24:53 > 0:24:56I have a situation that needs to be managed.

0:25:00 > 0:25:03There's only one way that I can solve it.

0:25:03 > 0:25:06And what's that?

0:25:09 > 0:25:14- I need to kill someone. - Who?- Who?

0:25:16 > 0:25:17Anyone!

0:25:19 > 0:25:24Of course! He doesn't want to kill one person, he wants to kill anyone.

0:25:24 > 0:25:27He's a serial killer.

0:25:27 > 0:25:28Anyone.

0:25:28 > 0:25:31- He could be!- Anyone!

0:25:31 > 0:25:34Why not? Why shouldn't he be?

0:25:38 > 0:25:39- HORNS BEEP - Oi, you!

0:25:39 > 0:25:42What's the matter with you?!

0:25:42 > 0:25:44'Anyone!'

0:25:44 > 0:25:47- Do you know where you are? - Are you drunk?

0:25:47 > 0:25:48Shezzer.

0:25:49 > 0:25:50What are you doing here?

0:25:50 > 0:25:52What were you doing in the middle of a bloody street?

0:25:52 > 0:25:54You should be at Baker Street.

0:25:54 > 0:25:56I am. So are you.

0:26:00 > 0:26:02They found your address, they brought you here.

0:26:02 > 0:26:07You've had too much. And that's me saying that!

0:26:09 > 0:26:10Kill.

0:26:13 > 0:26:15Kill.

0:26:22 > 0:26:23- Anyone.- Anyone.

0:26:23 > 0:26:27They're always poor and lonely and strange.

0:26:28 > 0:26:30But those are only the ones we catch.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32Who do we catch?

0:26:32 > 0:26:33Serial killers.

0:26:35 > 0:26:36What if you were rich and...

0:26:36 > 0:26:38powerful and necessary?

0:26:38 > 0:26:40Anyone.

0:26:41 > 0:26:46What if you had the compulsion to kill and money? What then?!

0:26:56 > 0:26:59MUSIC: Symphony No.9 (Ode To Joy) by Beethoven

0:26:59 > 0:27:01SIREN WAILS

0:27:12 > 0:27:14MUSIC INTENSIFIES

0:27:33 > 0:27:37Well, now, won't you introduce me?

0:27:42 > 0:27:43SHE SIGHS

0:27:43 > 0:27:46Right, you there! Stop right where you are!

0:27:46 > 0:27:49- What? Oh, John...- Mrs Hudson...

0:27:49 > 0:27:51Do you have any idea what speed you were going at?

0:27:51 > 0:27:53No, of course not! I was on the phone.

0:27:53 > 0:27:55- Oh, it's for you, by the way. - For me?

0:27:55 > 0:27:57- It's the Government.- The what?

0:27:57 > 0:27:59- What's going on? What's wrong? - Hello?

0:27:59 > 0:28:01- Look at the state of you... - 'My name is Mycroft Holmes.

0:28:01 > 0:28:03'I am speaking to you from the Cabinet Office.'

0:28:03 > 0:28:04What's happened?

0:28:04 > 0:28:06It's Sherlock!

0:28:06 > 0:28:09You've no idea what I've been through!

0:28:09 > 0:28:12Argh! Right! Argh!

0:28:12 > 0:28:15Away! CLATTERING

0:28:15 > 0:28:17- I'm out of here! He's lost it. - Where is it?!

0:28:17 > 0:28:20- He's totally gone!- Aah!

0:28:20 > 0:28:23Once more unto the breach, dear friends! Once more!

0:28:24 > 0:28:27Or close the wall up with our English dead!

0:28:27 > 0:28:30Set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide!

0:28:30 > 0:28:35Hold hard the breath and build up every spirit to his full height! On!

0:28:35 > 0:28:36On, you noblest English

0:28:36 > 0:28:39Whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof!

0:28:39 > 0:28:40And you, good yeoman,

0:28:40 > 0:28:42Whose limbs were made in England,

0:28:42 > 0:28:43Show us here

0:28:43 > 0:28:45The mettle of your pasture

0:28:45 > 0:28:46Which I doubt not

0:28:46 > 0:28:48For there is none of you here so mean and base

0:28:48 > 0:28:50That hath not noble lustre in your eyes!

0:28:50 > 0:28:54I see you standing like greyhounds in the slips,

0:28:54 > 0:28:55Straining upon the start!

0:29:01 > 0:29:02The game's afoot.

0:29:05 > 0:29:07Oh, hello.

0:29:07 > 0:29:09Can I have a cup of tea?

0:29:09 > 0:29:11Did you call the police?

0:29:11 > 0:29:14Of course I didn't call the police, I'm not a civilian!

0:29:14 > 0:29:19These pictures, they're that man on the telly, aren't they?

0:29:19 > 0:29:21- What pictures?- They're everywhere.

0:29:21 > 0:29:24Oh, these pictures?! Oh, you can see them too? That's good.

0:29:32 > 0:29:35Culverton Smith. This, I think, is relevant, from this morning.

0:29:35 > 0:29:39He's publicly accused Mr Smith of being a serial killer.

0:29:39 > 0:29:42Christ! Sherlock on Twitter, he really has lost it.

0:29:42 > 0:29:44Don't you dare make jokes! Don't you dare!

0:29:44 > 0:29:46I was terrified!

0:29:46 > 0:29:49Cup of tea! Oh, for goodness' sakes!

0:29:49 > 0:29:50What's the matter with you?!

0:29:50 > 0:29:52Are you having an earthquake?!

0:29:59 > 0:30:03- You need to see him, John, you need to help him!- No.- He needs you!

0:30:03 > 0:30:06Somebody else! Not me, not now.

0:30:06 > 0:30:08Now, you just listen to me, for once in your stupid life!

0:30:08 > 0:30:11I know Mary's dead and I know your heart is broken,

0:30:11 > 0:30:14but if Sherlock Holmes dies too, who will you have then?

0:30:14 > 0:30:18Because I'll tell you something, John Watson, you will not have me!

0:30:26 > 0:30:29MRS HUDSON CRIES

0:30:37 > 0:30:40Have you spoken to Mycroft? Molly? Anyone?

0:30:40 > 0:30:45They don't matter, you do. Would you just see him? Please, John.

0:30:45 > 0:30:48Or just take a look at him as a doctor.

0:30:48 > 0:30:50I know you'd change your mind if you did.

0:30:50 > 0:30:53Yeah, look, OK, maybe, if I get a chance.

0:30:53 > 0:30:54Do you promise?

0:30:54 > 0:30:56I'll try, if I'm in the area.

0:30:56 > 0:30:58Promise me?

0:30:58 > 0:31:00- I promise.- Thank you.

0:31:08 > 0:31:13Well, on you go. Examine him.

0:31:39 > 0:31:43Right then, mister! Now, I need your handcuffs.

0:31:43 > 0:31:46I happen to know there's a pair in the salad drawer.

0:31:46 > 0:31:48I've borrowed them before.

0:31:48 > 0:31:52Oh, get over yourself! You're not my first smackhead, Sherlock Holmes!

0:31:54 > 0:31:57Woman's out of control! I asked for a cup of tea!

0:31:57 > 0:31:59- How did you get him in the boot? - The boys from the cafe.

0:31:59 > 0:32:01They dropped me! Twice!

0:32:01 > 0:32:03And do you know why they dropped you, dear?

0:32:03 > 0:32:04Because they know you.

0:32:05 > 0:32:07Who's this one? Is this a new person?

0:32:07 > 0:32:10- I'm against new people. - Excuse me for a moment.

0:32:10 > 0:32:12She's my therapist.

0:32:12 > 0:32:14Awesome! Do you do block bookings?

0:32:14 > 0:32:16- Whose car is that? - That's my car.

0:32:16 > 0:32:17How can that be your car?!

0:32:17 > 0:32:18Oh, for God's sake!

0:32:18 > 0:32:21I'm the widow of a drug dealer, I own property in central London,

0:32:21 > 0:32:26and for the last bloody time, John, I'm not your housekeeper!

0:32:26 > 0:32:29I'm so sorry, I answered your phone, you were busy.

0:32:29 > 0:32:30I think you'll want to take it.

0:32:30 > 0:32:32Yes, hello?

0:32:32 > 0:32:33Is this Dr John Watson?

0:32:33 > 0:32:34Yeah, who's this?

0:32:36 > 0:32:39Culverton Smith. You've probably heard of me.

0:32:39 > 0:32:40Um, well, yes.

0:32:40 > 0:32:43Get me a fresh glass of water, please, this one's filthy.

0:32:43 > 0:32:47'I mean, I'm aware of this morning's developments.'

0:32:48 > 0:32:50Yes, I'm sure he was being hilarious.

0:32:50 > 0:32:52Sorry, did you say "all still meeting"?

0:32:52 > 0:32:54'You, me and Mr Holmes.'

0:32:54 > 0:32:56I've sent a car, should be outside.

0:32:56 > 0:32:58Mr Holmes gave me an address.

0:32:58 > 0:33:00Well, he couldn't have given you this one...

0:33:00 > 0:33:01DOORBELL RINGS

0:33:04 > 0:33:06When you're ready.

0:33:11 > 0:33:15- When did Sherlock give you this address?- Two weeks ago.- Two weeks?

0:33:15 > 0:33:17'Yes, two weeks.'

0:33:17 > 0:33:19PHONE CALL ENDS

0:33:19 > 0:33:21How did you know where to find me?

0:33:21 > 0:33:22Oh, Sherlock told me.

0:33:22 > 0:33:25He's not so difficult when you've got a gun on him.

0:33:28 > 0:33:32How did you know?! How? On Monday, I decided to get a new therapist.

0:33:32 > 0:33:34Tuesday afternoon, I chose her.

0:33:34 > 0:33:36Wednesday morning, I booked today's session.

0:33:36 > 0:33:38Now, today is Friday. So two weeks ago,

0:33:38 > 0:33:41two weeks before you were abducted at gunpoint

0:33:41 > 0:33:42and brought here against your will,

0:33:42 > 0:33:45over a week before I even thought of coming here,

0:33:45 > 0:33:47you knew exactly where you'd need to be picked up for lunch?!

0:33:49 > 0:33:51Really? I correctly anticipated

0:33:51 > 0:33:54the responses of people I know well to scenarios I devised.

0:33:54 > 0:33:56- Can't everyone do that?- How?

0:33:56 > 0:33:58Except the boot. The boot was mean!

0:33:58 > 0:34:00Never mind how, he's dying to tell us that.

0:34:00 > 0:34:01I want to know why?

0:34:01 > 0:34:05Because Mrs Hudson's right. I'm burning up.

0:34:05 > 0:34:08I'm at the bottom of a pit and I'm still falling,

0:34:08 > 0:34:10and I'm never climbing out.

0:34:12 > 0:34:14I need you to know, John.

0:34:14 > 0:34:17I need you to see that up here, I've still got it.

0:34:17 > 0:34:19So, when I tell you that this is the most dangerous,

0:34:19 > 0:34:23the most despicable human being that I have ever encountered,

0:34:23 > 0:34:26when I tell you that this, this monster must be ended,

0:34:26 > 0:34:29please remember where you are standing, because you're standing

0:34:29 > 0:34:32exactly where I said you would be two weeks ago.

0:34:33 > 0:34:39I'm a mess, I'm in hell, but I am not wrong, not about him.

0:34:39 > 0:34:41So, what has all this got to do with me?

0:34:41 > 0:34:44That creature, that rotting thing

0:34:44 > 0:34:47is a living, breathing coagulation of human evil.

0:34:47 > 0:34:50And if the only thing I ever do in this world is drive him out of it,

0:34:50 > 0:34:51then my life will not have been wasted.

0:34:54 > 0:34:57Look at me!

0:34:57 > 0:34:58Can't do it, not now.

0:34:59 > 0:35:00Not alone.

0:35:02 > 0:35:04All right.

0:35:11 > 0:35:13Yeah, well, they're real enough, I suppose.

0:35:13 > 0:35:15- Why would I be faking? - Because you're a liar!

0:35:15 > 0:35:17You lie all the time, it's like your mission!

0:35:17 > 0:35:20I have been many things, John, but when have I ever been a malingerer?!

0:35:20 > 0:35:22You pretended to be dead for two years!

0:35:22 > 0:35:24- Apart from that! - Listen, before I do anything,

0:35:24 > 0:35:26I need to know what state you're in.

0:35:26 > 0:35:27Well, you're a doctor, examine me.

0:35:27 > 0:35:29No, I need a second opinion.

0:35:29 > 0:35:32Oh, John, calm down. When have you ever managed two opinions?

0:35:32 > 0:35:34You'd fall over.

0:35:34 > 0:35:35I need the one person who,

0:35:35 > 0:35:38unlike me, learned to see through your bullshit long ago.

0:35:38 > 0:35:40Who's that, then? I'm sure I would have noticed.

0:35:40 > 0:35:42The last person you'd think of.

0:35:42 > 0:35:45I want you to be examined by Molly Hooper.

0:35:45 > 0:35:47Do you hear me? I said Molly Hooper.

0:35:47 > 0:35:50You're really not going to like this.

0:35:50 > 0:35:52- Like what? - DOORBELL RINGS

0:35:56 > 0:36:01Um, hello. Is, er... I'm sorry, Sherlock asked me to come.

0:36:01 > 0:36:03- What, two weeks ago? - Yeah, about two weeks.

0:36:03 > 0:36:05If you'd like to know how I predict the future...

0:36:05 > 0:36:08- No, I don't care how!- OK, a fully equipped ambulance,

0:36:08 > 0:36:10Molly can examine me on the way, it'll save time.

0:36:10 > 0:36:11- Ready to go, Molly?- Um, well...

0:36:11 > 0:36:12Just tell me when to cough.

0:36:12 > 0:36:14I hope you remembered my coat.

0:36:14 > 0:36:17I'm sorry, I didn't know that you were going to be here.

0:36:17 > 0:36:19Absolutely no idea what's going on.

0:36:19 > 0:36:21Sherlock's using again.

0:36:21 > 0:36:24Oh, God! Um, are...are you sure?

0:36:24 > 0:36:27No, it's Sherlock, of course I'm not sure! Check him out.

0:36:31 > 0:36:34Is Molly the right person to be doing medicals?

0:36:34 > 0:36:36She's more used to dead people.

0:36:36 > 0:36:39It's bound to lower your standards.

0:36:39 > 0:36:42I don't know. Yeah, I don't know anything any more.

0:36:42 > 0:36:45- Mrs Hudson, as ever, you are amazing.- No.

0:36:45 > 0:36:48You're going to have to buck up a bit, John, you know that, don't you?

0:36:48 > 0:36:50The game is on.

0:36:50 > 0:36:51I'll do my best.

0:36:51 > 0:36:55Anything you need, any time, just ask, anything at all.

0:36:55 > 0:36:56Thank you.

0:37:02 > 0:37:05Er, sometimes, can I borrow your car?

0:37:05 > 0:37:07- No.- OK.

0:37:12 > 0:37:15He knew you'd get a new therapist after I died,

0:37:15 > 0:37:17because you'd need to change everything.

0:37:17 > 0:37:19That's just what you're like.

0:37:23 > 0:37:25Thanks.

0:37:25 > 0:37:26You keep your weekends for Rosie,

0:37:26 > 0:37:28so you needed to see someone during working hours.

0:37:28 > 0:37:29Because you're an idiot,

0:37:29 > 0:37:32you don't want anyone at the surgery knowing you're in therapy,

0:37:32 > 0:37:33so that restricts you to lunchtime sessions,

0:37:33 > 0:37:36with someone reasonably close.

0:37:36 > 0:37:38You found four men and one woman.

0:37:38 > 0:37:42And you are done with the world being explained to you by a man.

0:37:42 > 0:37:45Well, who isn't? So all he needed to do

0:37:45 > 0:37:48was find the first available lunchtime appointment

0:37:48 > 0:37:50with a female therapist within cycling distance of your surgery.

0:37:50 > 0:37:52My God, he knows you!

0:37:52 > 0:37:53No, he doesn't.

0:37:53 > 0:37:56I'm in your head, John. You're disagreeing with yourself.

0:37:56 > 0:37:57Are you ready, sir?

0:37:57 > 0:37:58Yes, I am.

0:37:58 > 0:38:02He is the cleverest man in the world, but he's not a monster.

0:38:02 > 0:38:07- Yeah, he is.- Yeah, OK, all right, he is. Agh! But he's our monster.

0:38:08 > 0:38:10I'm a killer.

0:38:14 > 0:38:15You know I'm a killer.

0:38:17 > 0:38:20But did you know I'm a s...

0:38:20 > 0:38:22- LIGHT BULB EXPLODES - Cut there! What was that?

0:38:22 > 0:38:23Was that a light?

0:38:23 > 0:38:27Er, was that me? Was I too good?

0:38:27 > 0:38:29- Huh?- He's here.

0:38:40 > 0:38:42Well, how is he?

0:38:42 > 0:38:43Basically fine.

0:38:43 > 0:38:45I've seen healthier people on the slab.

0:38:45 > 0:38:47Yeah, but to be fair, you work with murder victims.

0:38:47 > 0:38:49They tend to be quite young.

0:38:49 > 0:38:51- Not funny.- A little bit funny. - If you keep taking

0:38:51 > 0:38:54what you're taking at the rate you're taking it, you've got weeks.

0:38:54 > 0:38:57Exactly, weeks! Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

0:38:57 > 0:39:00For Christ's sake, Sherlock, it's not a game!

0:39:00 > 0:39:02I'm worried about you, Molly, you seem very stressed.

0:39:02 > 0:39:04- I'm stressed, you're dying! - Yeah, well, I'm ahead, then.

0:39:04 > 0:39:06Stress can ruin every day of your life. Dying can only ruin one.

0:39:06 > 0:39:08So this is real? You've really lost it?

0:39:08 > 0:39:11- You're actually out of control? - When have I ever been that?

0:39:11 > 0:39:13- Since the day I met you. - Oh, clever boy.

0:39:13 > 0:39:15I've missed you bumbling round the place.

0:39:15 > 0:39:16- I thought this was some kind of...- What?- Trick.

0:39:16 > 0:39:18This is not a trick, it's a plan.

0:39:18 > 0:39:19Mr Holmes!

0:39:21 > 0:39:2430 feet and closing, the most significant undetected serial killer

0:39:24 > 0:39:28- in British criminal history. Help me bring him down.- What? What plan?

0:39:28 > 0:39:31- I'm not telling you.- Why not? - Because you won't like it.

0:39:31 > 0:39:32Mr Holmes.

0:39:34 > 0:39:39I don't do handshakes. It'll have to be a hug.

0:39:39 > 0:39:40I know.

0:39:41 > 0:39:43Oh, Sherlock.

0:39:45 > 0:39:48Oh, Sherlock, what can I say?

0:39:48 > 0:39:50Thanks to you, we're, er... we're everywhere!

0:39:50 > 0:39:53Mr Holmes, how did Culverton talk you into this?

0:39:53 > 0:39:57Well, he's a detective. Maybe I just confessed.

0:39:57 > 0:39:58THEY LAUGH

0:39:59 > 0:40:01Come on.

0:40:01 > 0:40:05Now, it's a... it's a new kind of breakfast cereal.

0:40:05 > 0:40:07Mr Holmes, could you put on the hat?

0:40:07 > 0:40:08Yeah, he doesn't really wear the hat.

0:40:08 > 0:40:10Kids will be getting two of their five-a-day

0:40:10 > 0:40:12before they've even left home.

0:40:14 > 0:40:16Sherlock's been amazing for us.

0:40:16 > 0:40:18Breakfast has got to be cool.

0:40:18 > 0:40:19We're beyond viral.

0:40:19 > 0:40:21And you know what makes it cool when you're a kid?

0:40:21 > 0:40:23What, sorry, beyond what?

0:40:23 > 0:40:24Dangerous!

0:40:25 > 0:40:26And action!

0:40:26 > 0:40:29I'm a killer. You know I'm a killer.

0:40:33 > 0:40:35But did you know

0:40:35 > 0:40:37I'm a cereal killer?

0:40:40 > 0:40:41Mmm!

0:40:43 > 0:40:45And cut there, thank you.

0:40:51 > 0:40:55We should bag that up, sell it. Make money for that on eBay.

0:40:55 > 0:40:59You can make more if you want, any time you like.

0:41:01 > 0:41:05Has it occurred to you, anywhere in your drug-addled brain,

0:41:05 > 0:41:07- that you've just been played? - Oh, yes.

0:41:07 > 0:41:11- For an ad campaign. - Brilliant, isn't it?- Brilliant?

0:41:11 > 0:41:13The safest place to hide.

0:41:15 > 0:41:16Plain sight.

0:41:16 > 0:41:18Mr Holmes?

0:41:18 > 0:41:21Culverton wants to know if you're OK going straight to the hospital?

0:41:21 > 0:41:22Hospital?

0:41:22 > 0:41:27Culverton's doing a visit. The kids would love to meet you both.

0:41:27 > 0:41:29I think he sort of promised.

0:41:29 > 0:41:30Oh, OK.

0:41:32 > 0:41:34If you'd just like to come this way.

0:41:38 > 0:41:42So, what are we doing here? What's the point?

0:41:42 > 0:41:44I needed a hug.

0:41:49 > 0:41:52What do you think, Mr Holmes? Cereal killer?

0:41:52 > 0:41:54It's funny cos it's true!

0:41:55 > 0:41:57See you at the hospital.

0:41:57 > 0:42:00Oh, you can have this back now.

0:42:03 > 0:42:05- Have what back? - Thanks for the hug.

0:42:06 > 0:42:08Oh, I sent and deleted a text.

0:42:08 > 0:42:09You might get a reply, but I doubt it.

0:42:11 > 0:42:13- It's password protected.- Oh, please!

0:42:13 > 0:42:14CULVERTON CHUCKLES

0:42:14 > 0:42:18We're going to have endless fun, Mr Holmes, aren't we?

0:42:18 > 0:42:21Oh, no. No, not endless.

0:42:28 > 0:42:30Need another hit, do you?

0:42:30 > 0:42:31I can wait until the hospital.

0:42:40 > 0:42:41Are you involved much?

0:42:42 > 0:42:44Sorry?

0:42:44 > 0:42:47Um, with Mr Holmes, Sherlock, in all his cases?

0:42:47 > 0:42:49Er, yeah, I'm John Watson.

0:42:49 > 0:42:50OK.

0:42:50 > 0:42:51Dr Watson.

0:42:51 > 0:42:53I love his blog, don't you?

0:42:53 > 0:42:54His blog?

0:42:54 > 0:42:56- Why, don't you read it? - You mean my blog.

0:42:56 > 0:42:59Say what you like about addiction, the day is full of highlights!

0:42:59 > 0:43:02- Oh, Mr Holmes, you're feeling better?- Psychedelic!

0:43:02 > 0:43:05- I was just saying, I love your blog. - Great, thanks.- It's my blog.

0:43:05 > 0:43:08- It is, he writes the blog. - It's yours?- Yes.

0:43:08 > 0:43:10You write Sherlock's blog?

0:43:10 > 0:43:11Yes.

0:43:12 > 0:43:15It's gone downhill a bit, hasn't it?

0:43:15 > 0:43:17It's this way, then.

0:43:24 > 0:43:27- Oh, my God, I love your blog. - You're welcome.

0:43:27 > 0:43:30Right, here he comes, the internet tec.

0:43:30 > 0:43:32You all know Sherlock Holmes.

0:43:37 > 0:43:40Oh, and Dr Watson, of course.

0:43:43 > 0:43:47Mr Holmes, I was wondering, well, we all were, weren't we,

0:43:47 > 0:43:51maybe you could tell us about some of your cases?

0:43:51 > 0:43:54- No.- Yes.- Yes. Absolutely, yes.

0:43:54 > 0:43:57The main feature of interest in the field of criminal investigation

0:43:57 > 0:44:00is not the sensational aspects of the crime itself,

0:44:00 > 0:44:03but rather the iron chain of reasoning,

0:44:03 > 0:44:08from cause to effect, that reveals, step by step, the solution.

0:44:08 > 0:44:11That's the only truly remarkable aspect of the entire affair.

0:44:11 > 0:44:14Now, I will share with you the facts and evidence as they were

0:44:14 > 0:44:17available to me, and in this very room,

0:44:17 > 0:44:21you will all attempt to solve the case of Blessington The Poisoner.

0:44:21 > 0:44:23I think you slightly gave away the ending.

0:44:23 > 0:44:25- There were five main suspects. - One of them called Blessington.

0:44:25 > 0:44:28- But it's more about how he did it. - Poison?- OK.

0:44:28 > 0:44:29CHILDREN LAUGH

0:44:29 > 0:44:34Drearcliff House, remember that one, John? One murder, ten suspects.

0:44:34 > 0:44:36- Ten, yeah.- All of them guilty. - Sherlock.

0:44:36 > 0:44:39Now, what did you call that one, John?

0:44:39 > 0:44:41Um, something to do with murder at the zoo.

0:44:41 > 0:44:43Yeah, I called it Murder At The Zoo.

0:44:43 > 0:44:46Or was it the case of The Killer Orang-utan?

0:44:48 > 0:44:52You should be wearing the hat. The kids would love the hat.

0:44:53 > 0:44:55So, any more questions?

0:44:55 > 0:44:57- No.- I don't think so.- No?

0:44:57 > 0:44:58Mr Holmes?

0:44:58 > 0:45:00Good, then I'll...

0:45:00 > 0:45:02How do you catch a serial killer?

0:45:05 > 0:45:07Same way you catch any other killer.

0:45:07 > 0:45:11No. Most killers kill someone they know.

0:45:11 > 0:45:14You're looking for a murderer in a tiny social grouping.

0:45:14 > 0:45:17Um, Mr Smith, I'm just wondering,

0:45:17 > 0:45:19maybe this isn't a suitable subject for the children.

0:45:19 > 0:45:23Nurse Cornish, how long have you been with us now?

0:45:23 > 0:45:24Seven years.

0:45:27 > 0:45:28Seven years.

0:45:30 > 0:45:31OK.

0:45:35 > 0:45:38Serial killers choose their victims at random.

0:45:38 > 0:45:40Surely that must make it more difficult.

0:45:41 > 0:45:43Some of them advertise.

0:45:44 > 0:45:45Do they really?

0:45:45 > 0:45:48Serial killing is an expression of power, ego -

0:45:48 > 0:45:52a signature in human destruction.

0:45:53 > 0:45:58Ultimately, for full satisfaction, it requires plain sight.

0:45:58 > 0:46:02Additionally, serial killers are easily profiled.

0:46:02 > 0:46:05They tend to be social outcasts, educationally subnormal.

0:46:05 > 0:46:07No, no, no, no, no, no.

0:46:07 > 0:46:10You're just talking about the ones you know. The ones you've caught.

0:46:10 > 0:46:13But hello, dummy, you only catch the dumb ones.

0:46:13 > 0:46:19Now, imagine if the Queen wanted to kill some people,

0:46:19 > 0:46:20what would happen then?

0:46:20 > 0:46:22All that power, all that money,

0:46:22 > 0:46:25sweet little government, dancing attendants.

0:46:25 > 0:46:30A whole country just to keep her warm and fat.

0:46:32 > 0:46:36Hmm. We all love the Queen, don't we?

0:46:36 > 0:46:37And I bet she'd love you lot.

0:46:37 > 0:46:40It's all right, everyone, I can personally assure you

0:46:40 > 0:46:42that Sherlock Holmes is not about to arrest the Queen.

0:46:42 > 0:46:45Well, of course not. Not Her Majesty.

0:46:45 > 0:46:52Money, power, fame - some things make you untouchable.

0:46:52 > 0:46:54God save the Queen!

0:46:54 > 0:46:56She could open a slaughterhouse

0:46:56 > 0:46:57and we'd all probably pay the entrance fee.

0:46:57 > 0:47:01- No-one's untouchable.- No-one?

0:47:04 > 0:47:09Look at you all, so gloomy. Can't you take a joke?

0:47:10 > 0:47:12The Queen!

0:47:12 > 0:47:16If the Queen was a serial killer, I'd be the first person she'd tell.

0:47:16 > 0:47:18We have that kind of friendship.

0:47:18 > 0:47:24A big round of applause for Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson.

0:47:24 > 0:47:26Come on. Wonderful.

0:47:28 > 0:47:31Thank you so much for coming. Thank you.

0:47:32 > 0:47:33Where are we going now?

0:47:33 > 0:47:36I want to show you my favourite room.

0:47:36 > 0:47:38No, let's go in here.

0:47:41 > 0:47:44So you've had another one of your little meetings?

0:47:44 > 0:47:46Oh, it's just a monthly top-up.

0:47:46 > 0:47:50Confession is good for the soul, providing you can delete it.

0:47:50 > 0:47:51What's TD 12?

0:47:51 > 0:47:53It's a memory inhibitor.

0:47:53 > 0:47:55Bliss.

0:47:55 > 0:47:56Bliss?

0:47:56 > 0:48:00Opt-in ignorance. It makes the world go round.

0:48:00 > 0:48:02Anyone ever opt to remember?

0:48:02 > 0:48:04Some people take the drip out, yes.

0:48:04 > 0:48:06Some people have the same urges.

0:48:06 > 0:48:08Now, come on, wasting time.

0:48:08 > 0:48:11Indeed, you have, I estimate, 20 minutes left.

0:48:12 > 0:48:15- Sorry?- I sent a text from your phone, remember?

0:48:15 > 0:48:16It was read almost immediately.

0:48:16 > 0:48:19Factoring in a degree of shock and emotional decision,

0:48:19 > 0:48:21and a journey time based on the associated address,

0:48:21 > 0:48:24I'd say that your life, as you know it, has 20 minutes left to run.

0:48:24 > 0:48:27Well, no, 17½ to be precise,

0:48:27 > 0:48:28but I rounded up for dramatic effect.

0:48:28 > 0:48:31So, please do show us your favourite room.

0:48:31 > 0:48:35It'll give you a chance to say goodbye.

0:48:35 > 0:48:37CULVERTON CHUCKLES

0:48:37 > 0:48:38Come along.

0:48:43 > 0:48:47The game is on. Do you still miss me?

0:48:51 > 0:48:54Speaking of serial killers, you know who's my favourite?

0:48:54 > 0:48:56Other than yourself?

0:48:57 > 0:49:00HH Holmes. Relative of yours?

0:49:00 > 0:49:01Not as far as I know.

0:49:03 > 0:49:06You should check. What an idiot.

0:49:08 > 0:49:09Everyone out.

0:49:11 > 0:49:14Mr Smith, we're actually in the middle of something.

0:49:16 > 0:49:17Saheed, isn't it?

0:49:18 > 0:49:20Saheed, yes.

0:49:20 > 0:49:22How long have you been working here now?

0:49:22 > 0:49:27- Four years.- Four years. Well, that's a long time, isn't it?

0:49:29 > 0:49:30Four years!

0:49:33 > 0:49:34OK, everyone.

0:49:37 > 0:49:38Five minutes?

0:49:38 > 0:49:40Come back in ten.

0:49:46 > 0:49:49Saheed...

0:49:49 > 0:49:51this time, knock.

0:49:56 > 0:49:58How can you do that?

0:49:58 > 0:50:00I mean, how are you even allowed in here?

0:50:00 > 0:50:02Oh, I can go anywhere I like.

0:50:03 > 0:50:04Anywhere at all.

0:50:04 > 0:50:06They gave you keys?

0:50:06 > 0:50:09They presented them to me. There was a ceremony.

0:50:09 > 0:50:13You can watch that on YouTube. Home Secretary was there.

0:50:13 > 0:50:15So, your favourite room - the mortuary?

0:50:15 > 0:50:17What do you think?

0:50:17 > 0:50:18Tough crowd.

0:50:19 > 0:50:21Oh, I don't know.

0:50:21 > 0:50:25Hmm. I've always found them quite pliable.

0:50:25 > 0:50:29- Don't do that! - She's fine. She's dead.

0:50:31 > 0:50:33HH Holmes loved the dead.

0:50:33 > 0:50:35He mass-produced them.

0:50:35 > 0:50:37Serial killer, active during the Chicago Fair.

0:50:37 > 0:50:38Do you know what he did?

0:50:38 > 0:50:42He built a hotel, a special hotel just to kill people.

0:50:42 > 0:50:48You know, with a hanging room, gas chamber, specially adapted furnace.

0:50:48 > 0:50:51You know, like Sweeney Todd...

0:50:51 > 0:50:52"Without the pies!"

0:50:54 > 0:50:57Stupid. So stupid.

0:50:59 > 0:51:01Why stupid?

0:51:01 > 0:51:03Well, all that effort.

0:51:03 > 0:51:06You don't build a beach if you want to hide a pebble.

0:51:06 > 0:51:08You just find a beach.

0:51:08 > 0:51:10And if you want to hide a murder,

0:51:10 > 0:51:15if you want to hide lots and lots of murders, just find a...

0:51:16 > 0:51:17..hospital.

0:51:18 > 0:51:21Can we be clear? Are you confessing?

0:51:21 > 0:51:23To what?

0:51:23 > 0:51:24The way you're talking...

0:51:26 > 0:51:29Oh, sorry, yes.

0:51:29 > 0:51:32You mean, am I a serial killer?

0:51:32 > 0:51:36Or am I just trying to mess with your funny little head?

0:51:36 > 0:51:37Well, it's true.

0:51:37 > 0:51:41I do like to mess with people, and, yes, I am a bit creepy.

0:51:41 > 0:51:43But that's just my USP.

0:51:43 > 0:51:45I use it to sell breakfast cereal.

0:51:45 > 0:51:48But am I what he says I am?

0:51:48 > 0:51:50Is that what you're asking?

0:51:50 > 0:51:51Yes.

0:51:51 > 0:51:58Hmm. Well, let me ask you this... are you really a doctor?

0:51:58 > 0:51:59Yeah, of course I am.

0:51:59 > 0:52:02Oh, no, a medical doctor?

0:52:02 > 0:52:06You know, not just feet or media studies or something?

0:52:06 > 0:52:07I'm a doctor.

0:52:09 > 0:52:10Are you serious?

0:52:10 > 0:52:14No, really, are you?

0:52:16 > 0:52:17Are you...

0:52:17 > 0:52:20are you actually serious?

0:52:21 > 0:52:24I've played along with this joke, it's not funny any more.

0:52:24 > 0:52:27Look at him!

0:52:27 > 0:52:30Go ahead, look at him, Dr Watson!

0:52:30 > 0:52:32Hmm. Oh, no, I'll lay it out for you.

0:52:32 > 0:52:35There are two possible explanations for what's going on here.

0:52:35 > 0:52:38Either I'm a serial killer,

0:52:38 > 0:52:42or Sherlock Holmes is off his tits on drugs!

0:52:42 > 0:52:46Hmm? Delusional paranoia about a public personality.

0:52:46 > 0:52:49That's not so special, it's not even new.

0:52:49 > 0:52:52I think you need to tell your faithful little friend

0:52:52 > 0:52:54how you're wasting his time,

0:52:54 > 0:52:58because you're too high to know what's real any more.

0:53:04 > 0:53:05I apologise.

0:53:06 > 0:53:08I...I've miscalculated.

0:53:10 > 0:53:13I forgot to factor in the traffic.

0:53:13 > 0:53:1619½ minutes.

0:53:16 > 0:53:18LIFT STOPS

0:53:18 > 0:53:21Ah, the footsteps you're about to hear will be very familiar to you,

0:53:21 > 0:53:24not least because there'll be three impacts rather than two.

0:53:24 > 0:53:26The third, of course, will be the end of a walking cane.

0:53:26 > 0:53:28LIFT PINGS

0:53:28 > 0:53:30Your daughter Faith's walking cane.

0:53:30 > 0:53:32And why would she be here?

0:53:32 > 0:53:36You invited her. You sent her a text.

0:53:36 > 0:53:39- Or technically,- I- sent her a text, but she's not to know.

0:53:41 > 0:53:44Now, let's see if I can recall.

0:53:44 > 0:53:49"Faith, I can stand it no longer, I've confessed to my crimes.

0:53:49 > 0:53:52"Please forgive me."

0:53:52 > 0:53:55Why would that have any effect? You don't know her.

0:53:55 > 0:53:59Oh, but I do. I spent a whole evening with her.

0:54:00 > 0:54:03We had chips. I think she liked me.

0:54:03 > 0:54:07You don't know Faith. You simply do not.

0:54:07 > 0:54:09I know you care about her deeply.

0:54:09 > 0:54:12I know you invited her to one of your special board meetings.

0:54:12 > 0:54:14You care what she thinks.

0:54:18 > 0:54:20You maintain an impressive facade.

0:54:22 > 0:54:25I think it's about to break.

0:54:25 > 0:54:26Did you know?

0:54:26 > 0:54:27She came to Baker Street.

0:54:27 > 0:54:29No, she didn't.

0:54:29 > 0:54:30Of course I didn't.

0:54:30 > 0:54:34She came to see me, because she was scared of her daddy.

0:54:34 > 0:54:40Never happened. Is this another one of your drug-fuelled fantasies?

0:54:40 > 0:54:42- You didn't see him take the scalpel? - Nobody saw him.

0:54:42 > 0:54:44So you didn't know what was about to happen?

0:54:44 > 0:54:45Of course I didn't know.

0:54:45 > 0:54:47Well, let's see, shall we?

0:54:47 > 0:54:49Faith, stop loitering at the door and come in.

0:54:49 > 0:54:51This is your father's favourite room!

0:54:53 > 0:54:55Come and meet his best friends.

0:54:55 > 0:55:00Dad? What's happening?

0:55:00 > 0:55:03What was that text? Are you having one of your jokes?

0:55:05 > 0:55:07Who are you?

0:55:25 > 0:55:27Who the hell are you?!

0:55:28 > 0:55:31It's Sherlock Holmes, surely you recognise him?

0:55:31 > 0:55:34Oh, my God! Sherlock Holmes!

0:55:35 > 0:55:38I love your blog.

0:55:38 > 0:55:40You're not her, you're not the woman who came to Baker Street.

0:55:40 > 0:55:42Um, well, no. Never been there.

0:55:42 > 0:55:44Well, there must have been some build-up,

0:55:44 > 0:55:46he didn't just suddenly do it.

0:55:46 > 0:55:48Look, I didn't know he had the bloody scalpel!

0:55:48 > 0:55:51Sorry, I'm not sure I completely understand.

0:55:51 > 0:55:52Understand what?

0:55:52 > 0:55:55Well, I thought you two were... were old friends?

0:55:55 > 0:55:57No. We've never met.

0:55:57 > 0:56:00Oh, dear. Oh!

0:56:00 > 0:56:01Have we?

0:56:01 > 0:56:03Sherlock?

0:56:04 > 0:56:06So, who came to my flat?

0:56:06 > 0:56:08Well, it wasn't me.

0:56:08 > 0:56:09No!

0:56:09 > 0:56:11HE LAUGHS

0:56:11 > 0:56:13You look different.

0:56:13 > 0:56:15I wasn't there.

0:56:15 > 0:56:17'Who came to my flat?'

0:56:17 > 0:56:19I'm sorry, Mr Holmes,

0:56:19 > 0:56:23but I don't think I've ever been anywhere near your flat.

0:56:23 > 0:56:27Oh, dear. Oh, no!

0:56:27 > 0:56:29Who are you talking to?

0:56:29 > 0:56:31What friend?

0:56:31 > 0:56:32Anyone.

0:56:32 > 0:56:35Oh, no. Oh, no!

0:56:35 > 0:56:37HE LAUGHS

0:56:38 > 0:56:40'Faith?

0:56:40 > 0:56:42'Oh, God!'

0:56:46 > 0:56:49Oh, no. Oh, no!

0:56:49 > 0:56:52HE LAUGHS

0:56:54 > 0:56:55Sherlock?

0:56:56 > 0:56:58Sherlock, are you all right? Sherlock, are you OK?

0:56:58 > 0:57:00- Watch him, he's got a knife. - I've got a what?

0:57:00 > 0:57:03You've got a scalpel, you picked it up from that table! I saw you take it.

0:57:03 > 0:57:05I certainly did not!

0:57:05 > 0:57:06Look behind his back!

0:57:06 > 0:57:07No...

0:57:07 > 0:57:09I saw you take it! I saw you!

0:57:09 > 0:57:11Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

0:57:11 > 0:57:13Sherlock, do you want to put that down?

0:57:13 > 0:57:15Oh, my God!

0:57:16 > 0:57:17Stop laughing at me.

0:57:17 > 0:57:19- I'm not laughing. - He's not laughing, Sherlock.

0:57:19 > 0:57:21- Stop laughing at me! - Sherlock!

0:57:23 > 0:57:30Oh, Christ! I keep wondering if we should have seen it coming.

0:57:30 > 0:57:32Not long ago he shot Charles Magnussen in the face,

0:57:32 > 0:57:33we did see it coming.

0:57:33 > 0:57:36We always saw it coming. But it was fun.

0:57:36 > 0:57:37KNOCK ON DOOR

0:57:37 > 0:57:38Come in.

0:57:38 > 0:57:41Sir, you probably want to see this.

0:57:44 > 0:57:47- ON LAPTOP:- 'Harold Chorley reporting earlier today.

0:57:47 > 0:57:51'Mr Smith stated he had no interest in bringing charges.'

0:57:51 > 0:57:54'I'm a fan of Sherlock Holmes, I'm a big fan.

0:57:54 > 0:57:57'I don't really know what happened today. To be honest,

0:57:57 > 0:58:02'I don't think I'd be standing here now if it wasn't for Dr Watson.'

0:58:02 > 0:58:04Stop laughing at me!

0:58:04 > 0:58:05Sherlock!

0:58:05 > 0:58:07CLATTER

0:58:07 > 0:58:10Stop it! Stop it now!

0:58:10 > 0:58:12- NEWSREADER:- 'Is it true he's being treated in your hospital?'

0:58:12 > 0:58:14'It's not actually my hospital.'

0:58:14 > 0:58:16Well, it is a little bit my hospital.

0:58:16 > 0:58:20But I can promise you this, he is going to get the best of care.

0:58:20 > 0:58:23I might even move him to my favourite room.

0:58:23 > 0:58:26- NEWSREADER:- 'Culverton Smith, earlier today. In Nottingham...'

0:58:32 > 0:58:34He's right, you know, you probably saved his life.

0:58:34 > 0:58:37What are you doing?! Wake up!

0:58:37 > 0:58:40I really hit him, Greg. Hit him hard.

0:58:43 > 0:58:47Is this a game? Is it just a bloody game?

0:58:49 > 0:58:51HOLMES GROANS

0:58:55 > 0:59:00Please! Please, please, please, no violence. Thank you, Dr Watson.

0:59:00 > 0:59:04But I don't think he's a danger any more.

0:59:04 > 0:59:06Leave him be.

0:59:06 > 0:59:08No, it's OK.

0:59:11 > 0:59:15Let him do what he wants. He's entitled.

0:59:18 > 0:59:19I killed his wife.

0:59:22 > 0:59:23Yes, you did.

1:00:00 > 1:00:02Oh, hi.

1:00:04 > 1:00:05HE MOUTHS

1:00:05 > 1:00:06Just in to say hello?

1:00:06 > 1:00:08No. I'm just in to say goodbye.

1:00:08 > 1:00:10I'm sure he'll pull through.

1:00:10 > 1:00:14And yeah, he's made a terrible mess of himself, but he's awfully strong.

1:00:14 > 1:00:16So, must look on the bright side.

1:00:19 > 1:00:21Hm.

1:00:24 > 1:00:26Well...

1:00:28 > 1:00:30- Parting gift. - Ah, that's nice.

1:00:30 > 1:00:32A walking stick.

1:00:32 > 1:00:34Yeah, it was mine, from a long time ago.

1:00:35 > 1:00:37PHONE RINGS

1:00:37 > 1:00:39Hello? Ward 73.

1:00:39 > 1:00:41Oh, er, Dr Watson?

1:00:41 > 1:00:43Hm?

1:00:43 > 1:00:44It's for you.

1:00:45 > 1:00:46Oh.

1:00:49 > 1:00:50Hello, Mycroft.

1:00:50 > 1:00:52'There's a car downstairs.'

1:00:56 > 1:00:59You know, he should definitely have worn the hat.

1:00:59 > 1:01:00Still thinking about Sherlock?

1:01:00 > 1:01:02No. You are.

1:01:02 > 1:01:04You've got your disapproving face on.

1:01:04 > 1:01:06Well, seeing as I'm inside your head,

1:01:06 > 1:01:07I think we can call that self-loathing.

1:01:58 > 1:02:01- Where is she? Where's Mrs Hudson? - She'll be up in a moment.

1:02:01 > 1:02:02What are you doing?

1:02:02 > 1:02:05Have you noticed the kitchen? It's practically a meth lab.

1:02:05 > 1:02:08I'm trying to establish exactly what drove Sherlock off the rails.

1:02:08 > 1:02:10- Any ideas?- Are these spooks?

1:02:11 > 1:02:14Are you using spooks now to look after your family?

1:02:14 > 1:02:17- Hang on, are they tidying? - Sherlock is a security concern.

1:02:17 > 1:02:19The fact that I'm his brother changes nothing.

1:02:19 > 1:02:21- Yeah, you've said that before. - Ask him.

1:02:21 > 1:02:24Why fixate on Culverton Smith?

1:02:24 > 1:02:26He's had his obsessions before, of course, but

1:02:26 > 1:02:29this goes a bit further than setting a man-trap for Father Christmas.

1:02:29 > 1:02:31Do it. Ask him.

1:02:31 > 1:02:33Spending all night talking to a woman who wasn't even there.

1:02:33 > 1:02:34Oh, shut up, you!

1:02:34 > 1:02:37- Mycroft, last time, when we were on the phone...- No, no, no, no, stop.

1:02:37 > 1:02:39I detest conversation in the past tense.

1:02:39 > 1:02:42You said the fact that you were his brother made no difference.

1:02:42 > 1:02:43It doesn't.

1:02:43 > 1:02:46You said it didn't the last time, and it wouldn't with Sherlock.

1:02:46 > 1:02:48So who was it the last time? Who were you talking about?

1:02:48 > 1:02:49Attaboy!

1:02:49 > 1:02:53Nobody. I...misspoke.

1:02:53 > 1:02:54- He's lying.- You're lying.

1:02:54 > 1:02:57- I assure you, I'm not. - He really is lying.

1:02:58 > 1:03:00Sherlock's not your only brother.

1:03:01 > 1:03:03There's another one, isn't there?

1:03:03 > 1:03:06- No...- Jesus! A secret brother.

1:03:06 > 1:03:10What is he, locked up in a tower, or something?

1:03:10 > 1:03:11Mycroft Holmes!

1:03:11 > 1:03:14What are all these dreadful people doing in my house?!

1:03:14 > 1:03:16Mrs Hudson, I apologise for the interruption.

1:03:16 > 1:03:18As you know, my brother has embarked on

1:03:18 > 1:03:21a programme of self-destruction remarkable even by his standards,

1:03:21 > 1:03:24and I am endeavouring to find out what triggered it.

1:03:24 > 1:03:26- And that's what you're all looking for?- Quite so.

1:03:26 > 1:03:28- What's on his mind?- So to speak.

1:03:28 > 1:03:30And you've had all this time?

1:03:30 > 1:03:33Time being something of which we don't have an infinite supply,

1:03:33 > 1:03:35so if we could be about our business.

1:03:35 > 1:03:37SHE GIGGLES

1:03:37 > 1:03:40You...you're so funny, you are!

1:03:40 > 1:03:41Mrs Hudson?

1:03:41 > 1:03:45He thinks you're clever, poor old Sherlock. Always going on about you.

1:03:45 > 1:03:47I mean, he knows you're an idiot,

1:03:47 > 1:03:49but that's OK, cos you're a lovely doctor.

1:03:49 > 1:03:52But he has no idea what an idiot you are!

1:03:52 > 1:03:54Is this merely stream-of-consciousness abuse,

1:03:54 > 1:03:56or are you attempting to make a point?

1:03:56 > 1:03:58You want to know what's bothering Sherlock?

1:03:58 > 1:04:01Easiest thing in the world, anyone can do it.

1:04:01 > 1:04:04I know his thought processes better than any other human being,

1:04:04 > 1:04:05so, please, try to understand.

1:04:05 > 1:04:08He's not about thinking. Not Sherlock.

1:04:08 > 1:04:10- Of course he is.- No, no.

1:04:10 > 1:04:12He's more emotional, isn't he?

1:04:12 > 1:04:15Unsolved case, shoot the wall! Boom, boom!

1:04:15 > 1:04:18Unmade breakfast, karate the fridge.

1:04:18 > 1:04:19Unanswered question...

1:04:19 > 1:04:23Well, what does he do with anything he can't answer, John? Every time?

1:04:23 > 1:04:25He stabs it.

1:04:25 > 1:04:30Anything he can't find the answer for, bang! It's up there.

1:04:30 > 1:04:33I keep telling him, if he was any good as a detective,

1:04:33 > 1:04:35I wouldn't need a new mantel!

1:04:38 > 1:04:43- MARY:- 'If you're watching this, I'm...probably dead.'

1:04:43 > 1:04:46OK, no. Stop that now, please.

1:04:46 > 1:04:48Everybody out, now!

1:04:48 > 1:04:50All of you!

1:04:50 > 1:04:54This is my house, this is my friend, and that's his departed wife.

1:04:54 > 1:04:57Anyone who stays here a minute longer is admitting to me personally

1:04:57 > 1:05:00they do not have a single spark of human decency.

1:05:10 > 1:05:13Get out of my house, you reptile!

1:05:23 > 1:05:25You've been ages waking up.

1:05:25 > 1:05:26I watched you.

1:05:28 > 1:05:30It was quite lovely, in its way.

1:05:31 > 1:05:34Take it easy, it's OK.

1:05:34 > 1:05:36Don't want to rush this.

1:05:38 > 1:05:40You're Sherlock Holmes.

1:05:40 > 1:05:43'I'm giving you a case, Sherlock.

1:05:43 > 1:05:45'Might be the hardest case of your career.

1:05:45 > 1:05:49'When I'm...gone,

1:05:49 > 1:05:51'if I'm gone,

1:05:51 > 1:05:53'I need you to do something for me.

1:05:55 > 1:05:56'Save John Watson.

1:05:57 > 1:06:00'Save him, Sherlock.'

1:06:00 > 1:06:02John, if you want to watch this later...

1:06:02 > 1:06:04'Save him.

1:06:04 > 1:06:06'Don't think anyone else is going to save him,

1:06:06 > 1:06:07'because there isn't anyone.

1:06:07 > 1:06:09'It's up to you.

1:06:09 > 1:06:11'Save him.

1:06:11 > 1:06:13'But I do think you're going to need a little bit of help with that,

1:06:13 > 1:06:15'because you're not exactly good with people,

1:06:15 > 1:06:19'so here's a few things you need to know about the man we both love.

1:06:19 > 1:06:22'And more importantly, what you're going to need to do to save him.'

1:06:27 > 1:06:29How did you...get in?

1:06:31 > 1:06:32Policeman outside, you mean?

1:06:33 > 1:06:36Come on, can't you guess?

1:06:38 > 1:06:39Secret door.

1:06:40 > 1:06:42I built this whole wing.

1:06:43 > 1:06:46I kept firing the architects and builders,

1:06:46 > 1:06:50so no-one knew quite how it all fitted together.

1:06:50 > 1:06:54I can slip in and out, anywhere I like, you know.

1:06:56 > 1:06:57When I get the urge.

1:06:57 > 1:06:59HH Holmes.

1:06:59 > 1:07:02Murder Castle. But done right.

1:07:04 > 1:07:07I have a question for you. Why are you here?

1:07:07 > 1:07:10It's like you walked into my den and laid down in front of me.

1:07:11 > 1:07:12Why?

1:07:14 > 1:07:16You know why I'm here.

1:07:16 > 1:07:18I'd like to hear you say it.

1:07:19 > 1:07:21Say it for me, please.

1:07:23 > 1:07:25I want you to kill me.

1:07:28 > 1:07:30HIGH-TEMPO MUSIC

1:07:30 > 1:07:32- MRS HUDSON:- John?

1:07:34 > 1:07:35My car.

1:07:40 > 1:07:43If you increased the dosage four or five times,

1:07:43 > 1:07:47toxic shock should shut me down within about an hour.

1:07:47 > 1:07:49Then I restore the settings.

1:07:49 > 1:07:52Everyone assumes it was a fault, or...

1:07:53 > 1:07:56- ..you just gave up the ghost.- Yes.

1:07:58 > 1:07:59You're rather good at this.

1:08:02 > 1:08:05Before we start, tell me how you feel.

1:08:07 > 1:08:10I...I feel scared.

1:08:12 > 1:08:14Be more specific.

1:08:14 > 1:08:16You only get to do this the once.

1:08:17 > 1:08:18I'm scared of dying.

1:08:19 > 1:08:21You wanted this, though.

1:08:24 > 1:08:25I have reasons.

1:08:25 > 1:08:28But you don't actually WANT to die.

1:08:28 > 1:08:30No.

1:08:30 > 1:08:31Good.

1:08:34 > 1:08:35Say that for me.

1:08:36 > 1:08:38- Say it.- I don't want to die.

1:08:40 > 1:08:41And again.

1:08:41 > 1:08:44I don't...want to die.

1:08:48 > 1:08:49- WHISPERS:- Once more, for luck.

1:08:50 > 1:08:52VOICE BREAKS: I don't want to die.

1:08:53 > 1:08:55I don't.

1:08:55 > 1:08:57I don't want to die.

1:08:58 > 1:09:00Lovely.

1:09:03 > 1:09:04Here it comes.

1:09:12 > 1:09:14Please, I don't think he's safe.

1:09:14 > 1:09:16- LESTRADE:- 'No, he's fine, I've got a man on the door.'

1:09:16 > 1:09:18- 'What do you think's happened?' - I don't know, something!

1:09:18 > 1:09:20- Mary left a message. - What message?

1:09:20 > 1:09:24'John Watson never accepts help.

1:09:24 > 1:09:26'Not from anyone, not ever.

1:09:26 > 1:09:29'But here's the thing - he never refuses it.

1:09:29 > 1:09:31'So, here's what you are going to do.'

1:09:33 > 1:09:35So, tell me, why are we doing this?

1:09:35 > 1:09:37To what do I owe the pleasure?

1:09:38 > 1:09:40I wanted to hear your confession,

1:09:40 > 1:09:42needed to know I was right.

1:09:42 > 1:09:45But why do you need to die?

1:09:45 > 1:09:48The mortuary, your favourite room.

1:09:50 > 1:09:52You talk to the dead.

1:09:52 > 1:09:55You make your confession to them.

1:09:58 > 1:10:01Sorry, sir, what? What do you mean?

1:10:02 > 1:10:04I think the door's jammed.

1:10:04 > 1:10:06Oh, has that door locked itself again?

1:10:06 > 1:10:08Yeah, it's always doing that.

1:10:08 > 1:10:11'You can't save John, because he won't let you.

1:10:11 > 1:10:13'He won't allow himself to be saved.

1:10:15 > 1:10:19'The only way to save John is to make him save you.'

1:10:19 > 1:10:20Why do you do it?

1:10:23 > 1:10:24Why do I kill?

1:10:25 > 1:10:28It's not about hatred, or...or revenge.

1:10:29 > 1:10:31I'm not a dark person.

1:10:32 > 1:10:34Killing human beings...

1:10:34 > 1:10:37HE CHUCKLES

1:10:40 > 1:10:45..it just makes me... oh, incredibly happy.

1:10:51 > 1:10:56You know, in films, when you see dead people - pretending to be dead,

1:10:56 > 1:10:59and it's just living people lying down?

1:11:01 > 1:11:03Well, that's not what dead people look like.

1:11:03 > 1:11:07Dead people...look like things.

1:11:09 > 1:11:12I like to make people into things,

1:11:12 > 1:11:15then you can own them.

1:11:15 > 1:11:18You know what? I'm getting a little impatient.

1:11:33 > 1:11:35Take a big breath if you want.

1:11:36 > 1:11:38'Go to hell, Sherlock.

1:11:41 > 1:11:44'Go right into hell and make it look like you mean it.'

1:11:44 > 1:11:47Murder is a very difficult addiction to manage.

1:11:47 > 1:11:50People don't realise how much work goes into it.

1:11:50 > 1:11:52You have to be careful.

1:11:52 > 1:11:56But if you're rich or famous and...loved,

1:11:56 > 1:11:59it's amazing what people are prepared to ignore.

1:12:00 > 1:12:04But there's always someone desperate about to go missing,

1:12:04 > 1:12:07and no-one wants to suspect murder

1:12:07 > 1:12:10if it's easier to suspect something else.

1:12:10 > 1:12:14I just have to ration myself, choose the right heart to stop.

1:12:14 > 1:12:20'Go and pick a fight with a bad guy, put yourself in harm's way.'

1:12:20 > 1:12:23(Please! Maintain eye contact.

1:12:23 > 1:12:25(Maintain eye contact.

1:12:25 > 1:12:27(Maintain eye contact!

1:12:27 > 1:12:31(I like to watch it happen.)

1:12:31 > 1:12:33'If he thinks you need him, I swear...'

1:12:39 > 1:12:43(And off we...pop.)

1:12:44 > 1:12:46'..he will be there.'

1:12:46 > 1:12:48MONITORS BEEP RAPIDLY

1:12:48 > 1:12:51- SHERLOCK GASPS FOR AIR - Mr Holmes, are you OK?

1:12:51 > 1:12:54What were you doing to him?! What were you doing?!

1:12:54 > 1:12:57- He's in distress, I'm helping him. - Restrain him now. Do it.

1:12:57 > 1:12:58I was trying to help him!

1:12:58 > 1:13:02- Sherlock, what was he doing to you? - Suffocating me, overdosing me.

1:13:02 > 1:13:04- On what?- Saline. - Saline?- Yes, saline.

1:13:04 > 1:13:06- What do you mean, saline? - SHERLOCK GROANS

1:13:06 > 1:13:10Well, obviously, I got Nurse Cornish to switch the bags.

1:13:10 > 1:13:13She's a big fan, you know? Loves my blog.

1:13:13 > 1:13:15- You're OK? - No, no, of course I'm not OK.

1:13:15 > 1:13:17Malnourished, double kidney failure,

1:13:17 > 1:13:19and frankly, I've been off my tits for weeks.

1:13:19 > 1:13:21What kind of a doctor are you?

1:13:21 > 1:13:23SHERLOCK GROANS

1:13:23 > 1:13:24I got my confession, though, didn't I?

1:13:24 > 1:13:27Well, I don't recall making any confession.

1:13:27 > 1:13:30- What would I be confessing to? - You can listen to it later.

1:13:30 > 1:13:32Well, there is no confession to listen to.

1:13:32 > 1:13:36Oh, Mr Holmes, I don't know if this is relevant, but...

1:13:36 > 1:13:40we found three potential recording devices in the pockets of your coat.

1:13:40 > 1:13:42All your possessions were searched.

1:13:42 > 1:13:43Sorry!

1:13:46 > 1:13:49Must be something comforting about the number three,

1:13:49 > 1:13:52people always give up after three.

1:13:55 > 1:13:57What? What is it? What?

1:14:00 > 1:14:02JOHN SIGHS

1:14:02 > 1:14:05- You cock!- Yeah.

1:14:05 > 1:14:07- Utter, utter cock. - Heard you the first time.

1:14:13 > 1:14:15- So, how does it open? - Screw the top.

1:14:23 > 1:14:25- Two weeks ago?- Three.

1:14:25 > 1:14:27- I'm that predictable?- No.

1:14:29 > 1:14:31I'm just a cock.

1:14:42 > 1:14:44It's funny.

1:14:44 > 1:14:48I never realised confessing would be so enjoyable.

1:14:48 > 1:14:49I should have done it sooner.

1:14:51 > 1:14:53We'll carry on tomorrow.

1:14:53 > 1:14:56Well, we could carry on now, I'm not tired.

1:14:56 > 1:14:58There's loads more.

1:14:58 > 1:15:00Tomorrow.

1:15:00 > 1:15:03You know, I am going to be so famous now.

1:15:03 > 1:15:05You're already famous.

1:15:05 > 1:15:07Yeah, but with this...

1:15:09 > 1:15:10..I can break America.

1:15:14 > 1:15:17I had, of course, several other backup plans.

1:15:17 > 1:15:20Trouble is, I couldn't remember what they were.

1:15:20 > 1:15:23And, of course, I hadn't really anticipated

1:15:23 > 1:15:26that I'd hallucinated meeting his daughter.

1:15:26 > 1:15:28Basically, he trashed himself on drugs so that you'd help him,

1:15:28 > 1:15:30so that you'd have something to do, something doctory.

1:15:30 > 1:15:32You get that now?

1:15:32 > 1:15:34Still a bit troubled by the daughter.

1:15:34 > 1:15:36It did seem very real.

1:15:36 > 1:15:39She gave me information I couldn't have acquired elsewhere.

1:15:39 > 1:15:41But she wasn't ever here?

1:15:41 > 1:15:42Interesting, isn't it?

1:15:42 > 1:15:44I have theorised before that if one could attenuate to

1:15:44 > 1:15:47every available data stream in the world simultaneously,

1:15:47 > 1:15:50it would be possible to anticipate and deduce almost anything.

1:15:51 > 1:15:53Hmm.

1:15:53 > 1:15:56So, you dreamed up a magic woman who told you things you didn't know?

1:15:56 > 1:16:00Well, sounds about right to me. Possibly, I'm biased.

1:16:00 > 1:16:03Perhaps the drugs opened certain doors in my mind.

1:16:06 > 1:16:08- I'm intrigued.- I know you are.

1:16:09 > 1:16:12Which is why we're all taking it in turns to keep you off the sweeties.

1:16:12 > 1:16:14I thought we were just hanging out.

1:16:17 > 1:16:19Molly will be here in 20 minutes.

1:16:19 > 1:16:22Oh, I do think I can last 20 minutes without supervision.

1:16:24 > 1:16:26Well, if you're sure.

1:16:26 > 1:16:28Christ, John, stay, talk!

1:16:29 > 1:16:32Uh, sorry, it's just, um, you know, Rosie.

1:16:32 > 1:16:34Yes, of course, Rosie.

1:16:34 > 1:16:37Go and solve a crime together, make him wear the hat.

1:16:37 > 1:16:40- You'll be OK for 20 minutes? - Yes, yes.

1:16:40 > 1:16:42- Sorry, I...I wasn't thinking of Rosie.- No problem.

1:16:42 > 1:16:45I should, er, come and see her soon.

1:16:46 > 1:16:49- Yes.- Actually, he should wear the hat as a special tribute to me.

1:16:49 > 1:16:52I'm dead, I would really appreciate it.

1:16:52 > 1:16:55Oh, by the way, the recordings will probably be inadmissible.

1:16:55 > 1:16:57- Sorry, what? - Well, technically, it's entrapment,

1:16:57 > 1:16:59so it might get thrown out as evidence.

1:16:59 > 1:17:02Not that that matters. Apparently he can't stop confessing.

1:17:02 > 1:17:03- That's good.- Yeah.

1:17:10 > 1:17:12Are you OK? JOHN LAUGHS

1:17:12 > 1:17:14What, am I...? No, no, I'm not OK.

1:17:14 > 1:17:16I'm never going to be OK.

1:17:16 > 1:17:18And we'll just have to accept that.

1:17:18 > 1:17:19It is what it is,

1:17:19 > 1:17:22and what it is is...shit.

1:17:22 > 1:17:23John, do better.

1:17:26 > 1:17:30You didn't kill Mary. Mary died saving your life.

1:17:30 > 1:17:32It was her choice, no-one made her do it.

1:17:32 > 1:17:33No-one could ever make her do anything.

1:17:33 > 1:17:35The point is, you did not kill her.

1:17:38 > 1:17:41In saving my life, she conferred a value on it.

1:17:43 > 1:17:45It is a currency I do not know how to spend.

1:17:50 > 1:17:51It is what it is.

1:17:55 > 1:17:57I'm tomorrow, six till ten. I'll see you then.

1:17:57 > 1:18:01- Looking forward to it.- Yeah.

1:18:01 > 1:18:03WOMAN GROANS

1:18:04 > 1:18:07That noise, that's a text alert noise?

1:18:07 > 1:18:08What was that?

1:18:09 > 1:18:11Hmm? What was what?

1:18:11 > 1:18:13That's the text alert of Irene Adler.

1:18:13 > 1:18:14She's the scary mad one, right?

1:18:14 > 1:18:17- That noise?- What noise?

1:18:17 > 1:18:18But she's dead.

1:18:18 > 1:18:21- SHE GASPS - Ooh, I bet she isn't dead!

1:18:21 > 1:18:23I bet he saved her.

1:18:23 > 1:18:25Oh, my God!

1:18:25 > 1:18:27Oh, the posh boy loves the dominatrix.

1:18:27 > 1:18:30He's never knowingly under-cliched, is he?

1:18:30 > 1:18:32John?

1:18:32 > 1:18:35- I'm going to make a deduction. - Oh, OK, that's good.

1:18:35 > 1:18:36And if my deduction is right,

1:18:36 > 1:18:39- you're going to be honest and tell me, OK?- OK.

1:18:39 > 1:18:42Though I should mention that it is possible for any given text alert

1:18:42 > 1:18:45- to become randomly attached to... - Happy birthday.

1:18:48 > 1:18:51Thank you, John, that's...very kind of you.

1:18:51 > 1:18:53Never knew when your birthday was.

1:18:53 > 1:18:55Well, now you do.

1:18:55 > 1:18:58- Seriously, we're not going to talk about this?- Talk about what?

1:18:58 > 1:19:00- I mean, how does it work? - How does what work?

1:19:00 > 1:19:02You and The Woman.

1:19:02 > 1:19:04Do you go to a discreet Harvester sometimes?

1:19:04 > 1:19:06Is there nights of passion in High Wycombe?

1:19:06 > 1:19:09Oh, for God's sakes, I don't text her back!

1:19:09 > 1:19:11- LAUGHS:- Why not?

1:19:11 > 1:19:13You bloody moron!

1:19:13 > 1:19:17She's out there, she likes you and she's alive!

1:19:17 > 1:19:19And do you have the first idea

1:19:19 > 1:19:20how lucky you are?!

1:19:20 > 1:19:25Yes, she's a lunatic, she's a criminal, she's insanely dangerous.

1:19:25 > 1:19:27- Trust you to fall for a sociopath! - Oh, married an assassin!

1:19:27 > 1:19:29But she's, you know...

1:19:30 > 1:19:33- What?- Just text her back.- Why?

1:19:33 > 1:19:34Because High Wycombe is better than

1:19:34 > 1:19:37you are currently equipped to understand!

1:19:37 > 1:19:39I once caught a triple poisoner in High Wycombe.

1:19:39 > 1:19:41That's only the beginning, mate.

1:19:41 > 1:19:44As I think I have explained to you many times before,

1:19:44 > 1:19:47romantic entanglement, while fulfilling for other people...

1:19:47 > 1:19:49- Would complete you as a human being. - That doesn't even mean anything.

1:19:49 > 1:19:50Just text her, phone her,

1:19:50 > 1:19:52do something while there's still a chance,

1:19:52 > 1:19:54because that chance doesn't last forever.

1:19:54 > 1:19:56Trust me, Sherlock, it's gone before you know it.

1:19:56 > 1:19:58Before you know it!

1:20:05 > 1:20:07She was wrong about me.

1:20:07 > 1:20:08Mary? How so?

1:20:10 > 1:20:12She thought that if you put yourself in harm's way,

1:20:12 > 1:20:15I'd...I'd rescue you, or something.

1:20:15 > 1:20:17But I didn't, not till she told me to.

1:20:18 > 1:20:21And that's how this works, that's what you're missing.

1:20:21 > 1:20:23She taught me to be the man she already thought I was.

1:20:23 > 1:20:25Get yourself a piece of that.

1:20:25 > 1:20:27Forgive me, but you are doing yourself a disservice.

1:20:27 > 1:20:29I have known many people in this world, but made few friends,

1:20:29 > 1:20:31- and I can safely say... - I cheated on her.

1:20:35 > 1:20:36No clever comeback?

1:20:36 > 1:20:38I cheated on you, Mary.

1:20:40 > 1:20:42There was a woman on the bus,

1:20:42 > 1:20:44and I had a plastic daisy in my hair,

1:20:44 > 1:20:45I'd been playing with Rosie.

1:20:48 > 1:20:50And this girl just smiled at me.

1:20:51 > 1:20:53That's all it was, it was a smile.

1:20:54 > 1:20:56We texted, constantly.

1:20:56 > 1:20:57You want to know when?

1:20:57 > 1:20:59Every time you left the room - that's when.

1:20:59 > 1:21:01When you were feeding our daughter.

1:21:01 > 1:21:04When you were stopping her from crying - that's when.

1:21:08 > 1:21:10And that's all it was.

1:21:11 > 1:21:12Just texting.

1:21:13 > 1:21:15But I wanted more.

1:21:16 > 1:21:19And do you know something? I still do.

1:21:20 > 1:21:23I'm not the man you thought I was, I'm not that guy.

1:21:23 > 1:21:24I never could be.

1:21:24 > 1:21:26But that's the point.

1:21:29 > 1:21:31- VOICE BREAKS: - That's the whole point.

1:21:35 > 1:21:37Who you thought I was...

1:21:39 > 1:21:41..is the man who I want to be.

1:21:44 > 1:21:45Well, then...

1:21:47 > 1:21:49..John Watson...

1:21:55 > 1:21:56..get the hell on with it.

1:22:06 > 1:22:09JOHN SOBS

1:22:15 > 1:22:17- It's OK.- It's not OK.

1:22:20 > 1:22:21No...

1:22:23 > 1:22:24..but it is what it is.

1:22:32 > 1:22:35So, Molly's going to meet us at this cake place.

1:22:35 > 1:22:38Well, it's your birthday. Cake is obligatory.

1:22:38 > 1:22:41Oh, well, I suppose a sugar high is some sort of substitute.

1:22:41 > 1:22:43Behave.

1:22:43 > 1:22:45Right then. You know, it's not my place to say,

1:22:45 > 1:22:48but...it was just texting.

1:22:50 > 1:22:55- People text. Even- I- text. Her, I mean. Woman. Bad idea.

1:22:55 > 1:22:57Try not to, but, you know, sometimes...

1:22:58 > 1:23:00It's not a pleasant thought, John,

1:23:00 > 1:23:02but I have this terrible feeling from time to time

1:23:02 > 1:23:05that we might all just be human.

1:23:05 > 1:23:07- Even you?- No.

1:23:08 > 1:23:09Even you.

1:23:13 > 1:23:16- Cake?- Cake! Oh, um...

1:23:16 > 1:23:18What? What is it?

1:23:18 > 1:23:20What's wrong?

1:23:22 > 1:23:24- JOHN LAUGHS - Seriously?

1:23:24 > 1:23:25I'm Sherlock Holmes - I wear the damn hat!

1:23:28 > 1:23:30Isn't that right, Mary?

1:23:40 > 1:23:43You seem so much better, John.

1:23:43 > 1:23:46Yeah, I...I am. I think I am.

1:23:46 > 1:23:50Not all day, not every day, but, you know.

1:23:50 > 1:23:52- It is what it is?- Yeah.

1:23:53 > 1:23:55And Rosie?

1:23:55 > 1:23:56Beautiful, perfect.

1:23:56 > 1:24:00Unprecedented in the history of children.

1:24:00 > 1:24:02That's not my bias - that's scientific fact.

1:24:02 > 1:24:05- Good. And Sherlock Holmes? - Back to normal.

1:24:05 > 1:24:06'Get out!'

1:24:06 > 1:24:08She's possessed by the devil!

1:24:08 > 1:24:10I swear, my wife is channelling Satan!

1:24:10 > 1:24:12Yes, boring, go away!

1:24:12 > 1:24:13I'm not channelling Satan!

1:24:13 > 1:24:15Why not, given your immediately alternative?

1:24:24 > 1:24:27- What about his brother? - Mycroft? He's fine.

1:24:27 > 1:24:31So, you're off now. I won't see you for a week?

1:24:31 > 1:24:35- Just spending it at home. Unless she calls.- The PM.

1:24:37 > 1:24:39- Here.- What's this?

1:24:39 > 1:24:42- My number. - I already have your number.

1:24:42 > 1:24:45- My private number. - Why would I need that?

1:24:45 > 1:24:48I don't know. Maybe you'd like a drink sometime.

1:24:48 > 1:24:52- Of...what?- Up to you.

1:24:52 > 1:24:54Call me.

1:24:57 > 1:25:00HE CHUCKLES

1:25:05 > 1:25:08I mean, obviously, "normal" and "fine"

1:25:08 > 1:25:11are both relative terms when it comes to Sherlock and Mycroft.

1:25:11 > 1:25:12Obviously.

1:25:21 > 1:25:23She was real.

1:25:30 > 1:25:32'But I didn't mean Mycroft.'

1:25:32 > 1:25:34I meant the other one.

1:25:34 > 1:25:37- Which other one? - You know, the secret one.

1:25:37 > 1:25:39Oh, that was just something I said.

1:25:39 > 1:25:41I'm sure there's...

1:25:45 > 1:25:47How did you know about that? I didn't tell you that.

1:25:47 > 1:25:49- You must have done.- I really didn't.

1:25:49 > 1:25:52Well, maybe Sherlock told me.

1:25:52 > 1:25:56But you've met Sherlock exactly once, in this room,

1:25:56 > 1:25:57he was off his head.

1:25:57 > 1:26:00Oh, no, no, I met him before that.

1:26:00 > 1:26:01When?

1:26:01 > 1:26:05We spent a night together. It was lovely.

1:26:05 > 1:26:07We had chips.

1:26:13 > 1:26:16- IN NORTHERN ACCENT:- "You're not what I expected, Mr Holmes."

1:26:17 > 1:26:20"You're...nicer."

1:26:32 > 1:26:35Culverton gave me Faith's original note.

1:26:35 > 1:26:38A mutual friend put us in touch.

1:26:39 > 1:26:42Did Sherlock ever tell you about the note?

1:26:42 > 1:26:45I added some deductions for Sherlock.

1:26:45 > 1:26:47He was quite good.

1:26:49 > 1:26:52But...he didn't get the big one.

1:27:04 > 1:27:09In fairness, though, he does have excellent taste in chips.

1:27:09 > 1:27:10- What's that?- What's what?

1:27:10 > 1:27:12The flower in your hair, it's like I had on the bus.

1:27:12 > 1:27:15You looked very sweet.

1:27:15 > 1:27:16But then...

1:27:19 > 1:27:21.."You have such nice eyes."

1:27:21 > 1:27:25Amazing the times a man doesn't really look at your face.

1:27:25 > 1:27:29Oh, you can hide behind a sexy smile or a walking cane,

1:27:29 > 1:27:31or just be a therapist,

1:27:31 > 1:27:36talking about you...ALL the time.

1:27:36 > 1:27:37Oh, please don't go anywhere,

1:27:37 > 1:27:39I'm sure the therapist who actually lives here

1:27:39 > 1:27:41wouldn't want blood on the carpet.

1:27:41 > 1:27:43Oh, hang on, it's fine.

1:27:43 > 1:27:45She's in a sack in the airing cupboard.

1:27:45 > 1:27:47- Who are you?- Isn't it obvious?

1:27:49 > 1:27:51Haven't you guessed?

1:27:51 > 1:27:52I'm Eurus.

1:27:52 > 1:27:54Eurus?

1:27:54 > 1:27:58Silly name, isn't it? Greek. Means "the east wind".

1:27:58 > 1:28:01My parents loved silly names,

1:28:01 > 1:28:03like Eurus...

1:28:03 > 1:28:05or Mycroft...

1:28:05 > 1:28:08or Sherlock.

1:28:08 > 1:28:09Oh, look at him.

1:28:09 > 1:28:11Didn't it ever occur to you, not even once,

1:28:11 > 1:28:16that Sherlock's secret brother might just be Sherlock's secret sister?

1:28:17 > 1:28:18Huh?

1:28:20 > 1:28:21He's making a funny face.

1:28:23 > 1:28:25I think I'll put a hole in it.