0:00:02 > 0:00:04BIRDSONG
0:00:06 > 0:00:09This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13PHONE ALARM BEEPS
0:00:25 > 0:00:28PHONE ALARM BEEPS
0:00:33 > 0:00:36I'm going to miss my train.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Ryan, I thought I got Mondays off.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46I'm going to smell that all day now.
0:00:46 > 0:00:51- Cat food. Smell that. - Why would I want to do that?
0:00:51 > 0:00:53- I'm going grey. - So do what I do, dye it.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55No, I don't mean just my hair, I mean my face.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59Look, skin's like window putty. I look knackered.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03Well, feel free to jump in any time you want.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Actually, Ryan, if I could be alone?
0:01:10 > 0:01:11No? Oh, OK. Hi.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29WOMAN RECITES FROM BOOK IN BACKGROUND
0:01:29 > 0:01:31I told you not to put things in halfway through the cycle.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33It's a washing cycle, isn't it?
0:01:33 > 0:01:36There's nothing "eco" about it if I have to wash it twice.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43And will people leave the thermostat alone, please?!
0:01:43 > 0:01:45I'll see you tonight!
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Bye!
0:01:48 > 0:01:50See you later!
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Anyone?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Anyone?
0:01:55 > 0:01:56All right.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03I've got total body pump at 10:30 and boxercise at lunchtime.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06- Enjoy boxercise. Go and make them suffer.- OK.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08I've got to go fight for a seat.
0:02:08 > 0:02:09Kick them in the ankles.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12- Love you.- Love you.- No, love you.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15- I actually do have to go. - I know. See ya.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16See ya.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18(Oh...)
0:02:45 > 0:02:49- PLATFORM ANNOUNCEMENT: - 'Platform 1 for the 07:39 to...'
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Here we go. Elbows out.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54'..London Waterloo. A trolley service of drinks
0:02:54 > 0:02:57'and light refreshments is available on this train.'
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- ANNOUNCEMENT ON TRAIN:- 'This train is for London Waterloo.'
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- Excuse me, you're in my seat. - Sorry, is it reserved?
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- I was just putting my coat up. - I don't see a reservation.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19- No, there are no reservations. - So, it's your seat because?
0:03:19 > 0:03:22- Because I saw it first.- You reserved it with your magic eyes?
0:03:22 > 0:03:24I was putting my coat up and you barged in.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26- I didn't "barge" in. - Snuck in, sneaked, sneaked in.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- I didn't "sneak", I sat down. - There are rules, etiquette,
0:03:29 > 0:03:31- otherwise it all becomes a bloody free-for-all!- No need to shout.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34I'm not, I could just do without this on a Mon...
0:03:34 > 0:03:35Fine, just have it. Just have it.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38No, no, no! If you need it so badly, I'll just get up.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41- I'm actually getting off at the next stop.- Really?- Yes.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Are you sure? Thank you. That's very kind.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45What a kind man. Thank you. Very kind. Thank you.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Yeah, thank you.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51So, everyone's happy.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- TRAIN ANNOUNCER:- 'This train is approaching its final stop.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08'This is London Waterloo.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11'Change here for London Underground services.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14'Please remember to take all your personal items with you
0:04:14 > 0:04:16'when you leave the train.'
0:04:28 > 0:04:31- Anyone drown?- No.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34But it's early.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Who leaves plasters in the pool? It's the men.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40With their verrucas and their athlete's foot.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41Pleasant journey, then?
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Some man bawled at me for sitting in his special seat.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48I swear that commute's going to kill me, Kerry.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Two hours a day breathing into someone's armpit then home to
0:04:51 > 0:04:53sit with Ryan and discuss confetti.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Let's talk about work.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00I love work.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Who here likes their work?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Monday morning I wake with a silly grin on my face
0:05:05 > 0:05:08cos I get to see your lovely fresh faces.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Bank holiday? Waste of time. Easter, what's that about?
0:05:10 > 0:05:13I love targets, deadlines, I love it all.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15But perhaps some of you haven't noticed,
0:05:15 > 0:05:17it is a competitive market.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20And if anyone here thinks there's time to sit around watching videos
0:05:20 > 0:05:25of cats while our clients have got properties standing empty -
0:05:25 > 0:05:287,000 square feet in Leyton,
0:05:28 > 0:05:30this warehouse in Uxbridge -
0:05:30 > 0:05:32then they are mistaken.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34THESE rents pay your rent.
0:05:34 > 0:05:35DOOR OPENING
0:05:37 > 0:05:41Sorry, Jubilee Line...
0:05:41 > 0:05:42You stopped for coffee, Martin.
0:05:47 > 0:05:48Now...
0:05:52 > 0:05:55I've lost my train of thought. We're finished.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Just, erm...
0:05:57 > 0:05:59get on with it, will you?
0:06:01 > 0:06:02PHONE RINGS
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Look at him.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Can't even manage a hot drink.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12One of your appointments, isn't he?
0:06:13 > 0:06:17- Well, he's a dead man walking, Carl. - Really?
0:06:17 > 0:06:19What? You want me to, erm...?
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Would you mind, awfully?
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Couldn't we just give him a written warning?
0:06:23 > 0:06:25What, another one?
0:06:25 > 0:06:26They've just had a kid.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29Well, if you're really worried, tell him it's my bad.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33No.
0:06:33 > 0:06:34My responsibility.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38"With great power comes great responsibility." Where's that from?
0:06:39 > 0:06:41- I don't know, I'm sorry.- Spider-Man.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46By end of week, if you please.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20VIOLIN PLAYING: "Frere Jacques"
0:07:26 > 0:07:29Candles and a live band. It's your own little bistro.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32- What is this exactly? - Frere Jacques, I think.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35No, I meant the black stuff on the fish.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Tapenade. I know it looks like a tanker disaster
0:07:37 > 0:07:40but you can scrape it of with the back of your knife - that's what I did.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43- No, I love it. A taste of the Med. - I need a new violin.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46- And where's our beloved son? - Play rehearsals.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Christ, not again. I've only just got over Equus.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52I said I need a new violin.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54- And how much is that going to cost me?- I don't know, £400?
0:07:54 > 0:07:56HE SCOFFS
0:07:56 > 0:07:58- I'm not made of money, Charlotte. - This one's awful.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Well, is that the violin's fault?
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Just give it a break, will you, maestro?
0:08:04 > 0:08:06I'd pay her four hundred quid to pack it in.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10What?
0:08:10 > 0:08:12It's expensive,
0:08:12 > 0:08:15but the big plus is we can do the whole wedding in the same venue.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Sal?
0:08:17 > 0:08:18TV IN BACKGROUND
0:08:18 > 0:08:19No...
0:08:19 > 0:08:21TV OFF
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Look, they've had a cancellation and we've got first refusal.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25It's a bloody great castle, Ryan.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27What, you think it's too much?
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Not if we come under attack by Vikings,
0:08:29 > 0:08:32but it's just me and you getting married.
0:08:32 > 0:08:33"Just".
0:08:34 > 0:08:38The thing is, I've done the big wedding thing before.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40The bagpipes and smoked salmon for 200
0:08:40 > 0:08:44- and I hated every second of it.- Not with me! You weren't marrying me.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Which is exactly my point.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48You know, it's different this time.
0:08:52 > 0:08:53Do you know what I would love?
0:08:55 > 0:08:59Me and you, sneaking into a registry office on a Saturday afternoon.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02I don't want to sneak anywhere. I want the whole world to know.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03Yeah, I want the world to know too.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06I just don't want them all at the reception.
0:09:06 > 0:09:07I'm not doing this for fun,
0:09:07 > 0:09:10- I'm doing this cos I want everything to be perfect.- And it will be.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14I just question the need for a portcullis.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Oh, come on, don't sulk.
0:09:16 > 0:09:17Please?
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Let's go to bed.
0:09:21 > 0:09:22Let's sleep on it, yeah?
0:09:24 > 0:09:28I shouted at this woman on the train today. Like a nutter.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31That's me.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34The nutter on the train.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36You're tired, that's all.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38And it's only Monday.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Let's go out. Just me and you.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Somewhere that's not a parents' evening or a school play.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Are there places like that?
0:09:48 > 0:09:51I could meet you in London, get a hotel,
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- go for dinner, go dancing. - What, in a nightclub?
0:09:54 > 0:09:56A special club for old people.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Glen Miller and orthopaedic chairs.
0:09:59 > 0:10:00I haven't danced since our wedding.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Ah, the day the music died.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08- Love you.- Love you too.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22BIRDSONG
0:10:30 > 0:10:32PHONE ALARM BEEPS
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Argh...
0:10:46 > 0:10:48PHONE ALARM BEEPS
0:10:54 > 0:10:55I've told you a million times,
0:10:55 > 0:10:57you've got to rinse the plates before you put them in.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06See you later.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31That was completely out of order yesterday.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33I really don't want to have that debate again.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- No, me neither. I wanted to apologise.- Oh.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38It's this journey, you know, it makes people tense.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Especially me on a Monday morning.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Veins popping out of my head, tingle down my left arm.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45I was probably a little abrupt too.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Yeah, you were terrifying. Quite rightly, though.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49It's just you had the Holy Grail - front-facing,
0:11:49 > 0:11:52near the exit, big table. That's like a lifeboat on the Titanic,
0:11:52 > 0:11:55- you've got to fight for it. - I'll bear that in mind.
0:11:55 > 0:11:56- Bye.- Bye.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09- We seem to be walking in the same direction.- Yes, we do.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11- A bit awkward.- Yeah.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13So, how long have you, erm...?
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Week four.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Was I ever so young, so naive?
0:12:18 > 0:12:20So, old-timer, how long have you been...?
0:12:20 > 0:12:2412 years, no parole. Five weeks off for good behaviour.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Portugal usually.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29I'll let you go on. I'll see you tomorrow, 7:39.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Just don't let me find you in my seat, all right?
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Joking. Sorry.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40Well, what can I do?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43I'm at work!
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Yeah... I know.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49Look... Look, I will try to come home early.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50Yeah.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53Well, as soon as possible, yeah.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Right, yeah.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Can we talk about this later, please?
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Right.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- TRAIN ANNOUNCER:- 'This train is for London Waterloo.'
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Sorry, someone's sitting there.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42- It's a colleague. We're having a meeting. So, erm...- OK.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44Pssst...
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Thank you.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21How is it?
0:14:22 > 0:14:23It's all right.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27- Do you know it well?- Yeah.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29Well, I've seen it on telly.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Same thing.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34I saw you reading yesterday and it inspired me.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38Some people on this train, they just pretend to read
0:14:38 > 0:14:40so they don't have to talk.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42I carried Harry Potter around with me for five years.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46If it's so you're left alone, I don't mind.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48No, no, it's not that.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50I thought, now that I've got this commute,
0:14:50 > 0:14:52I'll read all the books I should have read at school.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55But I've been on the same page for ten days now.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Yeah, you look a bit distracted.
0:14:57 > 0:14:58Did I?
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Is she the one who throws herself in front of a train?
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Oh, well. Who could blame her?
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Sorry, I think I just gave away the ending.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Oh, I don't think I'll be getting to the end.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11- Not with me disturbing you. - You're not disturbing me.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22If she set her alarm a bit earlier, she could do that at home.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25- I do my make-up on the train sometimes.- Well, that's allowed, isn't it?
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Not cutting your toenails though.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32No, that's crossing a line.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Makes a change to actually talk to someone.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- I thought that was against the rules.- It is.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42What, 250 days a year?
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Two and a bit hours a day,
0:15:45 > 0:15:46say 600 hours,
0:15:46 > 0:15:49giving a 16-hour waking day, that's...
0:15:52 > 0:15:55..37 days a year on this train with these people.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57That can't be right.
0:15:57 > 0:15:58One year in every ten.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00That's more than I spend with my kids.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02I still don't know anybody's name.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05I listen to their phone calls...
0:16:05 > 0:16:08see them eat and sleep,
0:16:08 > 0:16:09see them drunk.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13We nod at each other sometimes or we moan about the weather,
0:16:13 > 0:16:15but none of us know each other. Not really.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Yeah. That's depressing.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Yeah.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Sally. Sally Thorn.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25There you go, an actual name.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Carl Matthews. Well, Carl.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30- Now we're in trouble.- Yeah.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35I didn't want to leave London.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39I said, "What about the art galleries, the restaurants,
0:16:39 > 0:16:41"what about the theatre?"
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Then Ryan pointed out we never actually went to the theatre.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46- Is that your husband?- Fiance.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Still, it's a long way to move for an extra bedroom and some decking.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53- You got kids?- We're trying.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55A lot.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57But you don't need to know that.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00On the other hand, if you're the landlord with 10,000 square feet
0:17:00 > 0:17:04to fill, you want a long lease. In this uncertain business environment, it's not going to happen.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Erm, I've got to go. My work's this way.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Oh, I'm sorry. I'm boring on.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10No, not at all! I want to know more.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12What train are you getting back?
0:17:12 > 0:17:16Well, the 18:49's not bad if you push up to the front, you know?
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Spread your stuff out, eat a bag of chips, you can get a double seat.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21- Another handy tip. - Yeah, I'm full of them.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23See you there.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56No porn at the office, please, Mr Matthews.
0:17:56 > 0:17:57Client's here.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Any thoughts on our friend Martin's departure?
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Erm...
0:18:05 > 0:18:07I thought I'd give him until Friday.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10If you say so.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35- TRAIN ANNOUNCER:- 'We are now approaching our next station stop.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38'Please remember to take all personal items with you
0:19:38 > 0:19:39'when leaving the train...'
0:19:39 > 0:19:42- Hey, hey!- '..Do not leave items unattended on the station.'
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Nearly there.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45Thank you.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48How long have I...?
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Since Waterloo. I was, erm...
0:19:51 > 0:19:54You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to disturb you.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56- Not drooled, have I? - No, you haven't.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05- Stay calm.- I will.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Don't lecture him, don't say, "I'm not made of money."
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Don't lose your temper, just be sensitive.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11I know how to talk to my own son.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Sometimes you don't.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- So, why don't you do it? - I have. It's your turn.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21I must warn you, he was lighting candles.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47I'm learning my lines.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51What is it this time?
0:20:53 > 0:20:54Brecht, oh.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Bertolt Brecht.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58"Verstehst du sowieso nicht..."
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Right, well...
0:21:00 > 0:21:03If this is more career guidance, I'm not changing my mind.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05No, I don't want you to change your mind.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07I just, you know, want you to think hard about it.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09And then change my mind.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Well, it's not exactly vocational, is it, Adam? I mean, you know,
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Theatre Arts, it's...
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Couldn't you just do your acting as a hobby?
0:21:16 > 0:21:17HE SCOFFS
0:21:19 > 0:21:21It's brutal out there, Adam.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24You know, I see it every day.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26I see 50 guys chasing the same job.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Graduates as well.
0:21:29 > 0:21:30You know, and it's not cheap...
0:21:30 > 0:21:33- If you don't want to contribute... - No, I don't mind that,
0:21:33 > 0:21:35as long as there's a decent job at the end of it.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Like yours, you mean?
0:21:37 > 0:21:38No, not like mine.
0:21:40 > 0:21:41And don't be...
0:21:44 > 0:21:45I'm trying here, mate.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47I know.
0:21:48 > 0:21:49But it's what I want to do.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58We've got electricity now you know, Shakespeare.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01You just flick this switch...
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Look at that.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Just don't burn the house down, that's all.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19'Theatre Arts.'
0:22:19 > 0:22:22I've got this waking nightmare that I'm going to walk across
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Covent Garden one afternoon and there he is, painted silver.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Standing very, very still.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28I love him as well, you know...
0:22:28 > 0:22:30He's just a...
0:22:30 > 0:22:31pretentious little sod.
0:22:31 > 0:22:35He's just going through an arty phase. We all have an arty phase.
0:22:35 > 0:22:36I didn't.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39I had a home-computing phase.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42I always wanted to be a dancer.
0:22:42 > 0:22:43Really.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Contemporary, ballet, tap, modern.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49I was barely out of a leotard until I was 19.
0:22:49 > 0:22:50So, what happened?
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Real life.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56I always wanted to be a chef. I mean...
0:22:56 > 0:22:57not a cheffy-chef, you know?
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Just someone who could cook really, really good...chips.
0:23:02 > 0:23:03Maggie and I used to talk about it.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06Getting a little restaurant or a pub outside of London.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Well, what stopped you?
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Kids, money, fear.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12You know, same thing, real life.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15I still can't believe you're old enough to have a 17-year-old son.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Well we started early, you know.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Don't know why I'm surprised.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21It's a lot less weird than me having a fiance at my age.
0:23:22 > 0:23:27I thought someone would have snatched you up a long time ago, that's all.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Snatched up and then put back down again.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33I was a divorcee, now I'm a fiancee.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39What happened? If it's not too personal a question.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Another time.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43So, what? We must be near neighbours.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Erm, no, I'm in that direction actually.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49About a mile.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53Hey, here... Mint - it's for the booze.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55It's an old commuters' trick.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57I'll see you tomorrow.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01You know, actually I was going to...
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Go on.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08You'd say if it was inappropriate, wouldn't you?
0:24:08 > 0:24:09Yes, I will.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12It's just this gym of yours. You know...
0:24:12 > 0:24:14all the booze and crisps and sitting on my arse,
0:24:14 > 0:24:16it's taken its toll, so...
0:24:16 > 0:24:18I just want a bit of life back.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20- Unless you think it's a bad idea? - No.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23- No, we're always happy to welcome new members.- Great.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25I'll fix you an evaluation.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27For Monday?
0:24:27 > 0:24:30- Well, who evaluates me?- I do.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Unless you'd want someone...
0:24:33 > 0:24:36No, no, that's fine. It's just, you know, make allowances.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40- I'll give you my e-mail. - It's on the website.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42I mean, I presume, it's on the website, isn't it?
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Yeah, it is on the website.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47- I look forward to hearing from you. - OK.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58Gentle, sad and lonely. You're not really selling him, Sal.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00I'm not trying to SELL him.
0:25:00 > 0:25:01And what does Ryan say?
0:25:02 > 0:25:04What's Ryan got to do with it?
0:25:04 > 0:25:08Well, if this is so innocent, there's no reason not to tell him.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Just cos we're getting married,
0:25:10 > 0:25:12he doesn't need to know everything about me.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Except he does.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16I think that's sort of the point, babe.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Oh, Ryan!
0:25:24 > 0:25:27Can I at least take my coat off? Not tonight, Ryan, please.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30- I've got a Zumba migraine. - I've cancelled the castle.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33- You have?- Mm-hm.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36No white horses, no helicopters, no bagpipes.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Just you and me.
0:25:39 > 0:25:40God, I love you.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44POP MUSIC PLAYS
0:25:49 > 0:25:52What is this TERRIBLE music?
0:25:56 > 0:25:57My new playlist!
0:25:57 > 0:26:00For legs, bums and tums.
0:26:00 > 0:26:04Legs, bums and tums. God help me.
0:26:04 > 0:26:05Did the trick though.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Here's hoping, right?
0:26:10 > 0:26:12You know, Ryan, most men don't want their brides
0:26:12 > 0:26:14pregnant on their wedding day.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16I do. Great.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Little foetal bridesmaid.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Well, there's a disturbing image.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Well...
0:26:25 > 0:26:26we can't hang about.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29That's what a spare room's for.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39So, this isn't an official warning?
0:26:39 > 0:26:41No, I'm afraid it's not, no.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43I mean, obviously we'll pay you to the end of the month.
0:26:43 > 0:26:47- Bryony's nine months old. - I know that. It's just...
0:26:47 > 0:26:49If you're not on the ball, if the work's not right...
0:26:49 > 0:26:51I can be, it will be.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54We're up all night.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56- I'm knackered, that's why I... - It's just, it's not...
0:26:56 > 0:26:59I can't go home and tell her this. We've just bought a flat.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01- If there's anything I can do... - Not sack me?
0:27:01 > 0:27:04- No. I mean in terms of references, putting a word in.- You could not sack me.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06It's out of my hands.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09So it's someone else's decision. Who is it?
0:27:09 > 0:27:12- Is it Findlay's? - No, no, it's... It's my bad.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16"My bad"?
0:27:18 > 0:27:19Fuck off, Carl.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Fair enough.
0:27:30 > 0:27:34He took me to the student union canteen, which was self-service.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36And we stood next to each other with our trays,
0:27:36 > 0:27:40little bit self-conscious, and he said, "You can have whatever you want.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44"Soup and a roll, main, sponge pudding, knock yourself out."
0:27:44 > 0:27:45I never said any of that.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48We had cod in parsley sauce and I thought, "He's a catch.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51"He's a keeper." And he was, God help me.
0:27:51 > 0:27:55- Just so you know I'm going to be late one night a week from now on. - Oh, why's that?
0:27:55 > 0:27:57- He's having an affair. - Adam, I'm eating.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59As a matter of fact, I've joined a gym.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03LAUGHTER
0:28:07 > 0:28:08Right.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12OK, screwdriver.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15Scalpel, forceps, nurse, mop my brow!
0:28:18 > 0:28:19This is a Stanley head.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21I need a Phillips head screwdriver.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27- I'll put the grill on.- NO! No grill! - I don't even like barbecue.
0:28:27 > 0:28:29- Why can't...- Got to be white hot, hasn't it?
0:28:29 > 0:28:32- It's basically like burnt food. - It'd be quicker to put the sausages on the radiator.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35- So, can I go now?- No! What's so urgent?- Just a party!
0:28:35 > 0:28:37I'm not asking to come, I'm just curious.
0:28:37 > 0:28:40- I'm just trying to make conversation with my favourite son.- Can I go too?
0:28:40 > 0:28:43- Look, I'm trying to cook us all supper here.- It's going to taste like paraffin anyway.
0:28:43 > 0:28:47You know why he can't put the grill on? The grill represents failure.
0:28:47 > 0:28:48Pack it in, Adam, will you?!
0:28:48 > 0:28:51For Christ's sake, all week I'm up and down on that train
0:28:51 > 0:28:54and all I want is just one night of conversation with my children.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56You know, without "I don't like it" and "Can I leave now?".
0:28:56 > 0:28:58Is that too much to ask for, eh?
0:28:58 > 0:29:01Is that too strange? So freakishly bizarre?
0:29:05 > 0:29:07Mm.
0:29:07 > 0:29:08Paraffiny.
0:29:12 > 0:29:15- Is it about me? - No, it's never about you.
0:29:15 > 0:29:16Is it about the kids then?
0:29:16 > 0:29:19No, not just the kids... I'm just...
0:29:19 > 0:29:21I'm exhausted, that's all.
0:29:21 > 0:29:23You've been exhausted for the last 15 years.
0:29:23 > 0:29:26- Which is exactly my point. - I work hard too, you know.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29- I know, I know. - I don't know if you've noticed, it's not without stress
0:29:29 > 0:29:31and I don't take it out on the kids.
0:29:31 > 0:29:32I know, I know. I appreciate it.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34Look, come here.
0:29:36 > 0:29:37I'll apologise. OK?
0:29:38 > 0:29:40Maybe we need a holiday.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43The trouble with holidays is you've got to come back.
0:29:43 > 0:29:45Oh, God, Carl...
0:29:45 > 0:29:46I just...
0:29:46 > 0:29:49You know, I just want some normal, straightforward family life.
0:29:49 > 0:29:53- That's all. - This is it. This is what it is.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55Now, will you promise me one thing?
0:29:55 > 0:29:58That you will never barbecue anything ever again.
0:29:58 > 0:30:01HE LAUGHS No.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10PHONE ALARM BEEPS
0:30:21 > 0:30:23Carl, any chance of a quick word?
0:30:23 > 0:30:26- Oh, I'm just on my way out. - Oh, really? Why's that then?
0:30:26 > 0:30:27Job interview?
0:30:27 > 0:30:29No, Charlotte - it's a school concert.
0:30:29 > 0:30:31Isn't that what the lady wife is for?
0:30:31 > 0:30:33- I'll get in early tomorrow. - Part-timer!
0:30:40 > 0:30:42We shut at 6:15.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45Yeah, if you arrive by six, you should be able to...
0:30:45 > 0:30:47MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH
0:30:59 > 0:31:00Hi. Can I help?
0:31:00 > 0:31:03Yeah, my name's Carl Matthews.
0:31:03 > 0:31:06I'm here for an evaluation with Sally Thorn.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08Ah, the notorious Carl.
0:31:08 > 0:31:09Pardon?
0:31:09 > 0:31:11Yes, I'll take over from here, thank you.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13- Mr Matthews.- Miss Thorn.
0:31:15 > 0:31:18- DANCE MUSIC BLARES - So this is what happens.
0:31:18 > 0:31:20You join and for a while you're here four times a week,
0:31:20 > 0:31:21then three, then two,
0:31:21 > 0:31:23then once a week, then hardly ever.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25But you feel guilty
0:31:25 > 0:31:27and can't be bothered to cancel your membership
0:31:27 > 0:31:28so we keep taking your money
0:31:28 > 0:31:30until you finally give up out of pure shame.
0:31:30 > 0:31:31So, where do I sign?
0:31:31 > 0:31:32There and there.
0:31:35 > 0:31:36What...
0:31:38 > 0:31:40Sorry!
0:31:40 > 0:31:41- There you go.- OK.
0:31:42 > 0:31:44Now, do you exercise?
0:31:44 > 0:31:45Well...
0:31:45 > 0:31:48- I run for the train. - To be fair, I've never seen you run.
0:31:48 > 0:31:51OK. Well, I used to play a bit of football.
0:31:51 > 0:31:52A footballer? When?
0:31:52 > 0:31:54Er...1983.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58"Weekly alcohol consumption?" A glass of wine is two units.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00Well, I fill a recycling bin.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02So, what's that, about 20?
0:32:02 > 0:32:04We add ten.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07And now, just so I don't have to give you mouth-to-mouth first time out,
0:32:07 > 0:32:09- any medical concerns? - I don't know, probably.
0:32:09 > 0:32:12I've started making this little noise when I stand up.
0:32:12 > 0:32:14And if I sit down too quickly, a button flies off.
0:32:14 > 0:32:18Oh, and I grind my teeth at night and wake up with my fists clenched.
0:32:18 > 0:32:20- But...- All right.
0:32:20 > 0:32:22Let's get started then, shall we?
0:32:22 > 0:32:25DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES Doesn't this music drive you mad?
0:32:25 > 0:32:27On a loop for nine hours?
0:32:27 > 0:32:28I close my eyes at night
0:32:28 > 0:32:31and all I can hear is nts-nts-nts!
0:32:31 > 0:32:33Go on, keep going.
0:32:33 > 0:32:35So, what do you think?
0:32:35 > 0:32:37I'm especially liking that face you're pulling.
0:32:37 > 0:32:39It's like passing a gallstone!
0:32:39 > 0:32:41It seems quite impressive to me.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44Uh-huh.
0:32:44 > 0:32:45There's no way you could lift this.
0:32:45 > 0:32:47Let's move on, shall we?
0:32:47 > 0:32:48No, you couldn't lift this.
0:32:48 > 0:32:51- This is very childish. - Go on, then.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53- I don't want to embarrass you. - No, go on.
0:32:53 > 0:32:54A pint says you couldn't lift that.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00So unprofessional.
0:33:06 > 0:33:08No way!
0:33:08 > 0:33:11Well, I've been doing all the others, haven't I?
0:33:11 > 0:33:14Oh, you can stop now, I'll buy you a pint.
0:33:15 > 0:33:17That was unbelievable. You're like some bricky or something.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19Oh, thank you!
0:33:19 > 0:33:22Next time I'm going to look at your swimming. You can swim?
0:33:22 > 0:33:25Have you ever seen otters at play?
0:33:25 > 0:33:26So, shall I walk you home?
0:33:26 > 0:33:28No, I can look after myself.
0:33:28 > 0:33:29I saw that!
0:33:29 > 0:33:31You could probably kick the crap out of me.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39BIRDSONG
0:33:39 > 0:33:41PHONE ALARM BEEPS
0:33:44 > 0:33:46HE GROANS
0:33:46 > 0:33:48Oh...
0:33:48 > 0:33:50Ow!
0:33:50 > 0:33:53Oh...aagh.
0:33:58 > 0:34:01HE CONTINUES TO GROAN IN PAIN
0:34:05 > 0:34:07Did I tell you I made a new friend on the train?
0:34:07 > 0:34:09"Made a new friend"? What are you, nine?
0:34:09 > 0:34:11Do you want him to come over for a play date?
0:34:11 > 0:34:13Actually, his name is Sally.
0:34:13 > 0:34:14Oh! Well, you're a grown man.
0:34:14 > 0:34:16Not sleeping with her, are you?
0:34:16 > 0:34:17She's not my type.
0:34:17 > 0:34:20I'd like to think that's not the only reason.
0:34:33 > 0:34:34Eh?
0:34:34 > 0:34:36Entirely self-taught.
0:34:36 > 0:34:37Yeah, I sort of guessed that.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39Ugh, I'm exhausted.
0:34:39 > 0:34:41Well, I've pinpointed what's wrong
0:34:41 > 0:34:44and it's everything.
0:34:44 > 0:34:45That bad, eh?
0:34:45 > 0:34:46Beyond repair, sorry.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49Ryan teaches swimming. You should talk to him about it.
0:34:49 > 0:34:52Ryan? Oh, Ryan.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54Is there anything he can't do?
0:34:54 > 0:34:56A few things.
0:35:09 > 0:35:12He used to teach Xtreme Body Pump here on Thursday nights.
0:35:12 > 0:35:13Xtreme Body Pump?!
0:35:13 > 0:35:15Mm, with a capital X.
0:35:15 > 0:35:17That's where we met.
0:35:17 > 0:35:20He complimented me on my body mass index.
0:35:20 > 0:35:24THEY LAUGH Oh, that old line, eh?!
0:35:24 > 0:35:27He's freelance now. He gets loads of work.
0:35:27 > 0:35:29He's unstoppable,
0:35:29 > 0:35:31constant state of perspiration.
0:35:31 > 0:35:33Every time I look round,
0:35:33 > 0:35:35he's bench-pressing a chest-of-drawers.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38He can't even go for a newspaper without weights tied to his ankles.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40Sounds exhausting.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43It can be.
0:35:43 > 0:35:45He's very reliable...
0:35:45 > 0:35:47methodical.
0:35:47 > 0:35:49He dry-cleans his jeans.
0:35:49 > 0:35:50It sends me crazy!
0:36:01 > 0:36:04It's like a sauna in here, ain't it?
0:36:04 > 0:36:06Someone had to say it, I suppose.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09THE DOOR OPENS
0:36:09 > 0:36:10Hey, closing up now.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12We'll let ourselves out.
0:36:12 > 0:36:14Thanks, Kerry.
0:36:16 > 0:36:18All to ourselves.
0:36:20 > 0:36:24Er, there's a train at 10:32. So...
0:36:24 > 0:36:25Plenty of time.
0:36:27 > 0:36:28One last swim?
0:36:28 > 0:36:30Yeah, fine.
0:36:32 > 0:36:33Come on!
0:36:39 > 0:36:41Hang on. Agh! I've got a stitch.
0:36:41 > 0:36:44- Agh!- We'll miss it. Come on!
0:36:44 > 0:36:45Keep going. Keep going.
0:36:54 > 0:36:56- No!- No!
0:36:56 > 0:36:58I lost a lung outside Boots.
0:36:58 > 0:37:00SALLY LAUGHS
0:37:00 > 0:37:02What time's the next train?
0:37:02 > 0:37:0312:02, gets in at half one.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07- Come on, then.- What?
0:37:07 > 0:37:09You owe me a drink, remember?
0:37:17 > 0:37:20My first husband was the complete opposite.
0:37:20 > 0:37:22- He was a DJ.- Oh, you're cool.
0:37:22 > 0:37:23No, not really.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25Everyone was a DJ in the '90s.
0:37:25 > 0:37:26At least they said they were.
0:37:26 > 0:37:28Andre...
0:37:28 > 0:37:30God, we had some mad times.
0:37:31 > 0:37:34He was very handsome, very charming.
0:37:34 > 0:37:37He just thought it was a shame to waste all that
0:37:37 > 0:37:38exclusively on me.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43I can't really blame him. We were far too young.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45How young?
0:37:45 > 0:37:4626.
0:37:48 > 0:37:51I'd been married four years by the time I was 26.
0:37:51 > 0:37:53Well, you weren't a superstar DJ.
0:37:53 > 0:37:55No, that's right,
0:37:55 > 0:37:56I was in marketing.
0:38:00 > 0:38:02INDISTINCT COMMENT
0:38:02 > 0:38:04DOORS BEEPING
0:38:09 > 0:38:11Do you want to do something really rare?
0:38:12 > 0:38:14Come on!
0:38:14 > 0:38:16Whoa, hang on, that's first class!
0:38:16 > 0:38:20Look, it's like some magical wonderland!
0:38:23 > 0:38:25- Never once?- No, never.
0:38:25 > 0:38:26Never been tempted?
0:38:26 > 0:38:30You know, slow-dancing at a Christmas party...
0:38:30 > 0:38:33A team building exercise in 2006 -
0:38:33 > 0:38:35a bit of flirty paintballing.
0:38:35 > 0:38:38Flirty paintballing?!
0:38:38 > 0:38:39It was...
0:38:39 > 0:38:41Yeah, that was it.
0:38:41 > 0:38:42You know, you think about it,
0:38:42 > 0:38:45but it just gets to the point where you've got too much to lose.
0:38:47 > 0:38:50And besides, I love my wife. She's my soul mate.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55A bit corny, isn't it?
0:38:55 > 0:38:58You know? I mean, there's nothing she doesn't know.
0:38:58 > 0:39:01She finishes off all my sentences.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04Ryan finishes mine and gets them all wrong.
0:39:11 > 0:39:14Sorry, I'm being a bit boring.
0:39:14 > 0:39:15Not boring at all.
0:39:17 > 0:39:20MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH
0:39:31 > 0:39:33MUSIC CONTINUES
0:39:49 > 0:39:50I had a nice night.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52Yeah, me too.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54A bit too nice, I suspect.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Well, I'll...
0:40:00 > 0:40:03see you in six hours!
0:40:03 > 0:40:05God, I want to cry.
0:40:05 > 0:40:07You'll be all right. Just drink lots of water. Eh?
0:40:07 > 0:40:09That's not why I want to cry.
0:40:11 > 0:40:13You know, some...
0:40:13 > 0:40:16Sometimes I feel like I can't do this.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19You know, it doesn't seem natural
0:40:19 > 0:40:21for every day to do exactly the same thing.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24I... I don't feel like I've done enough!
0:40:24 > 0:40:26And then I think, "Well, what are you expecting to happen?"
0:40:26 > 0:40:28You know? Ryan...
0:40:28 > 0:40:30he's a nice man.
0:40:30 > 0:40:31He's nice.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33He's nice...
0:40:35 > 0:40:37We all grow up and settle down eventually, don't we?
0:40:39 > 0:40:41It's not the growing up, it's the settling down.
0:40:41 > 0:40:45I try and see my face in that picture
0:40:45 > 0:40:46and I just...
0:40:47 > 0:40:49I can't do it.
0:40:49 > 0:40:51I think if you love each other, and you're happy,
0:40:51 > 0:40:53I mean generally, you know, most of the time then...
0:40:56 > 0:40:58That's enough, isn't it?
0:41:01 > 0:41:02Is it?
0:41:04 > 0:41:06Christ, I bloody hope so.
0:41:36 > 0:41:38And what time do you call this?
0:41:40 > 0:41:42(The train was late so...
0:41:42 > 0:41:44You just go to sleep.)
0:41:55 > 0:41:56You reek of chlorine.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13"What time do you call this, young lady?"
0:42:15 > 0:42:16You turned your phone off.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18That's allowed, isn't it?
0:42:18 > 0:42:20Why didn't you just go to bed?
0:42:22 > 0:42:24Well, it was your turn to cook supper.
0:42:25 > 0:42:28All I've had is four energy bars and now I can't stop shaking.
0:42:28 > 0:42:31SHE SNORTS WITH LAUGHTER
0:42:31 > 0:42:32Right.
0:42:32 > 0:42:34Drunk on a school night?
0:42:34 > 0:42:36I don't have school nights!
0:42:36 > 0:42:38Fine. They're your kidneys!
0:42:38 > 0:42:39Yes, they are my kidneys!
0:42:39 > 0:42:41At least until the wedding anyway.
0:42:43 > 0:42:45I was worried about you, that's all.
0:42:48 > 0:42:49Good night.
0:42:58 > 0:43:04PLATFORM ANNOUNCEMENT: 'Platform 1 for the 07:39 South West train service to London Waterloo
0:43:04 > 0:43:09'calling at Guildford and London Waterloo.'
0:43:18 > 0:43:21TV PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
0:43:31 > 0:43:33If I could just get a word in edgeways.
0:43:36 > 0:43:38I'm just wiped out, that's all.
0:43:41 > 0:43:43In fact, I think I might head up.
0:43:46 > 0:43:47I'll see you in a bit.
0:43:50 > 0:43:53- Just we were supposed to be meeting. - Sorry, she's not here.
0:43:56 > 0:43:57Well...
0:44:34 > 0:44:36Start again!
0:44:41 > 0:44:43'Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
0:44:43 > 0:44:46'we are momentarily being held at a red signal
0:44:46 > 0:44:48'but will be on the move very shortly.
0:44:48 > 0:44:51'We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause.'
0:44:53 > 0:44:56Can I have a gin and tonic, please?
0:44:56 > 0:45:00And I'll have some crisps - the sour cream and chives.
0:45:00 > 0:45:01The healthy option?
0:45:03 > 0:45:05They've got chives in them.
0:45:05 > 0:45:07Not real chives, artificial chives.
0:45:08 > 0:45:10Can they do that nowadays?
0:45:11 > 0:45:13Same again, please.
0:45:13 > 0:45:14I waited for you.
0:45:16 > 0:45:18I skipped the 7:39,
0:45:18 > 0:45:20the 7:53...
0:45:22 > 0:45:23..the 8:02.
0:45:23 > 0:45:27I thought maybe you were trying to avoid me.
0:45:27 > 0:45:29No, I just thought I should...
0:45:29 > 0:45:31you know, take a different train for a while.
0:45:34 > 0:45:36I found myself lying to Ryan.
0:45:36 > 0:45:38I've never done that before.
0:45:39 > 0:45:42Well, you know, I've lied about my five-a-day,
0:45:42 > 0:45:44but never about where I've been.
0:45:46 > 0:45:48I've never turned my phone off and...
0:45:50 > 0:45:52I just thought, you know,
0:45:52 > 0:45:55why would I do that to the man I'm going to marry?
0:45:55 > 0:45:57You're not doing anything.
0:45:57 > 0:45:58Well, unless I am.
0:46:00 > 0:46:02Carl, have we been flirting?
0:46:02 > 0:46:04Well, I haven't. Have you?
0:46:12 > 0:46:13Is that really so bad?
0:46:15 > 0:46:17Not bad, just...
0:46:17 > 0:46:18futile.
0:46:19 > 0:46:21I'm getting married in July!
0:46:21 > 0:46:23And, I mean, you've got a family and I've got Ryan,
0:46:23 > 0:46:26and he's...a lovely guy.
0:46:26 > 0:46:30He's a lovely man and I don't know,
0:46:30 > 0:46:31it just seems...
0:46:31 > 0:46:32Futile?
0:46:34 > 0:46:35Dangerous.
0:46:41 > 0:46:44You know, you get to a point in your life and you think,
0:46:44 > 0:46:45"Is this it?"
0:46:47 > 0:46:49I've got all my friends now, I've got my family, my job.
0:46:50 > 0:46:54Same faces every morning, same sandwich for lunch.
0:46:54 > 0:46:55You know? But you...
0:46:57 > 0:46:59You're just...you're new
0:46:59 > 0:47:01and I haven't talked to anyone the way that I talk to you.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05And I don't hate Monday mornings any more.
0:47:05 > 0:47:08And the worst part of my week? It's the best part of my week.
0:47:08 > 0:47:10I'd be lying if I said that you're not attractive,
0:47:10 > 0:47:11you know, because you are.
0:47:11 > 0:47:14I'm sorry, there's nothing you can do about that.
0:47:14 > 0:47:15Should I not be saying this?
0:47:15 > 0:47:17Go on.
0:47:17 > 0:47:19I just think it's a shame, you know?
0:47:21 > 0:47:23You're down in coach G and I'm up there in coach B,
0:47:23 > 0:47:26just staring out of the window, you know? It's just...
0:47:28 > 0:47:29Unless I'm boring you.
0:47:29 > 0:47:31No, not at all.
0:47:32 > 0:47:35You're not, I feel the same.
0:47:35 > 0:47:37I love seeing you every morning.
0:47:37 > 0:47:38Do you?
0:47:38 > 0:47:39Of course I do.
0:47:42 > 0:47:44I think I'd go nuts otherwise.
0:47:44 > 0:47:47Well, what's the harm? We'll just be...
0:47:49 > 0:47:51..sensible.
0:47:51 > 0:47:54- And keep it ON the train.- (Yeah) - OK.
0:47:54 > 0:47:58THE ENGINE JUDDERS TO LIFE
0:48:30 > 0:48:33PHONE ALARM BEEPS
0:48:35 > 0:48:39- FEMALE NEWSREADER:- 'Final hopes of a breakthrough between management and members of the RMT...'
0:48:39 > 0:48:44- MALE NEWSREADER:- 'National Union of Rail Maritime and Transport Workers Union broke down last night...'
0:48:44 > 0:48:45'..with no agreement reached.
0:48:45 > 0:48:48'The strike, due to start at five this afternoon...'
0:48:48 > 0:48:51'..is already bringing travel chaos to London and the Southeast,
0:48:51 > 0:48:54'with motoring organisations reporting long delays.'
0:48:54 > 0:48:56Why don't you work from home?
0:48:56 > 0:48:59Oh, yeah, I'd love to hear what Findlay said about that.
0:48:59 > 0:49:03"I'm sorry, Grant, I'm going to work from home today,
0:49:03 > 0:49:05"hope you don't mind."
0:49:05 > 0:49:07But you'll be stranded!
0:49:07 > 0:49:10They're not all on strike, are they? I'll just be late back, that's all.
0:49:10 > 0:49:12- Dad?- Listen, I've got to go.
0:49:12 > 0:49:13- I'll keep you posted.- Dad!
0:49:18 > 0:49:20Do you know about this?
0:49:20 > 0:49:21No.
0:49:21 > 0:49:24Look, I'll just stay over at Kerry's.
0:49:24 > 0:49:28Worst comes to the worst, I can find a hotel.
0:49:28 > 0:49:30I had us pencilled in.
0:49:30 > 0:49:32Soft lights, bit of baby-making...
0:49:32 > 0:49:35I wish you wouldn't call it that, Ryan.
0:49:35 > 0:49:37Well, what do you want me to call it?
0:49:37 > 0:49:39I don't know, Xtreme Body Pump?
0:49:39 > 0:49:41Sorry. Don't look like that.
0:49:41 > 0:49:43Look, I'll keep you posted. OK?
0:49:45 > 0:49:46See you.
0:49:54 > 0:49:55Hello there.
0:49:57 > 0:49:59Working from home, my arse!
0:49:59 > 0:50:02They're all in bed, watching Murder She Wrote.
0:50:04 > 0:50:06How's tricks, Carl?
0:50:06 > 0:50:08What do you mean? Personally?
0:50:08 > 0:50:12At home, at work, what's the mood generally, work-life-balance-wise?
0:50:12 > 0:50:14Just fulfilling my pastoral duties.
0:50:14 > 0:50:15Oh, you know, the usual.
0:50:15 > 0:50:18What is "the usual"? I don't have kids so I wouldn't know.
0:50:18 > 0:50:20Well, you know, it's hard, just balancing stuff.
0:50:20 > 0:50:23Because, frankly, you seem a bit distracted recently.
0:50:23 > 0:50:25Mind elsewhere, eye off the ball.
0:50:25 > 0:50:26No.
0:50:26 > 0:50:28No... Why? Should I be worried?
0:50:28 > 0:50:30Not in the least.
0:50:30 > 0:50:33You know me. I'd let you know if I wasn't happy.
0:50:36 > 0:50:38PUBLIC ADDRESS SYSTEM RINGS
0:50:38 > 0:50:40- RAIL ANNOUNCEMENT: - 'Due to industrial action,
0:50:40 > 0:50:43'all services from this station are currently suspended.
0:50:43 > 0:50:46'We apologise for any inconvenience this might cause.'
0:50:46 > 0:50:48So. What happens now?
0:50:55 > 0:50:56I don't think so.
0:50:56 > 0:50:59No. It's a bit much, isn't it?
0:50:59 > 0:51:02- Maybe I'll just sleep on Kerry's sofa.- (Yeah.)
0:51:02 > 0:51:05- OK. I'll try and get a train.- Yeah.
0:51:05 > 0:51:08- Unless...- Yeah?
0:51:09 > 0:51:11We could just ask, just check.
0:51:12 > 0:51:14- Yeah, we could just ask.- Yeah.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19Our best price on a standard room.
0:51:19 > 0:51:21SALLY SCOFFS
0:51:21 > 0:51:23That's a week at Center Parcs.
0:51:23 > 0:51:26As you can imagine, there's a great deal of demand tonight.
0:51:26 > 0:51:29But we'd need two separate single rooms.
0:51:29 > 0:51:30Sorry.
0:51:30 > 0:51:32I do have a twin room.
0:51:32 > 0:51:34What? Two single beds in the same room?
0:51:34 > 0:51:35That's correct.
0:51:35 > 0:51:36At this price.
0:51:38 > 0:51:40We could push the beds together, if you wanted.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43- No, that's not necessary. Thanks. - Separate beds is fine.
0:51:43 > 0:51:45So, which one would you like to...?
0:51:45 > 0:51:46I don't mind.
0:51:46 > 0:51:48Well, I usually sleep on the left, so...
0:51:48 > 0:51:49Me too.
0:51:49 > 0:51:51Well, let's both sleep there.
0:51:53 > 0:51:55I'll, er... I'll sleep on the right.
0:51:57 > 0:51:58I'm just...
0:51:58 > 0:52:00- I'm just going to freshen up. - Yeah, sure.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28TV TURNS ON
0:52:34 > 0:52:36- JACUZZI JETS BEGIN TO BUZZ - Oh!
0:52:54 > 0:52:56Room service!
0:52:56 > 0:52:59I managed to smuggle this past the doorman.
0:53:07 > 0:53:08You know what this reminds me of?
0:53:08 > 0:53:11A skiing holiday I had when I was a kid, with the school.
0:53:11 > 0:53:13French Alps... Ooh!
0:53:13 > 0:53:16..smuggling in fags and those little bottles of beer, you know?
0:53:18 > 0:53:21It was the first time I'd stayed in a hotel without my parents.
0:53:21 > 0:53:23Illicit, adult,
0:53:23 > 0:53:25mucking about with the ice-machine,
0:53:25 > 0:53:27smoking out the window,
0:53:27 > 0:53:29setting off the fire extinguisher.
0:53:29 > 0:53:31It was anarchy, to be honest.
0:53:31 > 0:53:34I still get that today. You know, that feeling, when I'm in hotels.
0:53:34 > 0:53:37Like Miss Gerrard's going to burst in and catch me any minute.
0:53:42 > 0:53:44I brought a change of clothing.
0:53:50 > 0:53:52Are you expecting a message?
0:53:52 > 0:53:54Sorry, it's just a nervous tic, you know,
0:53:54 > 0:53:56checking my phone every two minutes.
0:53:56 > 0:53:58I do the same thing.
0:54:00 > 0:54:03Why do you do that, do you think?
0:54:03 > 0:54:05Maybe we want something to happen.
0:54:05 > 0:54:07PHONE RINGS
0:54:07 > 0:54:09Maggie.
0:54:09 > 0:54:11OK.
0:54:11 > 0:54:12Listen, I better get it. You know...
0:54:12 > 0:54:14Yeah, there's no reason not to.
0:54:19 > 0:54:20Hi.
0:54:22 > 0:54:25- Thank you.- Just, you know, getting a bite to eat.
0:54:33 > 0:54:38It's just a crappy little tourist hotel, you know?
0:54:38 > 0:54:40Shared bathroom down the corridor, it's nothing special.
0:54:40 > 0:54:42'Aw! Well, steal us a towel.
0:54:42 > 0:54:44'And come home early tomorrow, won't you?'
0:54:44 > 0:54:46- 'You sure you don't want me to drive in and pick you up?'- No!
0:54:46 > 0:54:48- Absolutely not. - 'The traffic will have cleared.'
0:54:48 > 0:54:51Ryan, promise me, do not drive into London, OK?
0:54:51 > 0:54:54I'll be fine. I'll be home tomorrow night.
0:54:54 > 0:54:55'OK.
0:54:55 > 0:54:57'Well, make the most of it.'
0:55:00 > 0:55:01What do you mean?
0:55:01 > 0:55:04'Well, this may be the last night of our lives we spend apart.'
0:55:06 > 0:55:07Yeah, let's hope so.
0:55:09 > 0:55:10What are you doing now?
0:55:10 > 0:55:11'Oh, the usual.
0:55:11 > 0:55:14'On the sofa watching telly, dinner on my lap,
0:55:14 > 0:55:17'pint glass of warm white wine. You?'
0:55:17 > 0:55:19Yeah, just waiting for my food, yeah.
0:55:19 > 0:55:23'Lamb madras, naan, basmati and a spinach bhaji.'
0:55:23 > 0:55:25Yeah, that's right...
0:55:25 > 0:55:27'Aw, you're so predictable!'
0:55:29 > 0:55:30Yeah.
0:55:32 > 0:55:34Well, predictably I miss you.
0:55:34 > 0:55:36'You too, Carly. Want me to call you before bedtime?'
0:55:36 > 0:55:40No. No, I'm going to have an early night, you know. So...
0:55:40 > 0:55:42I love you.
0:55:42 > 0:55:44'You too, sweetheart. Sleep well.'
0:55:44 > 0:55:45Yeah, and you. Bye.
0:55:56 > 0:55:57How was that?
0:55:59 > 0:56:01Yeah, no problem.
0:56:05 > 0:56:06And you?
0:56:08 > 0:56:09All clear.
0:56:13 > 0:56:16I think we should acknowledge what's going on here, don't you?
0:56:22 > 0:56:25OK, look, we do this once, just once,
0:56:25 > 0:56:27just tonight and then never, ever again.
0:56:27 > 0:56:29No, just once. You know, it's a fling.
0:56:29 > 0:56:30Get it out of the way.
0:56:30 > 0:56:31Get it out the way?
0:56:31 > 0:56:34No! I mean, you know, just clear the air.
0:56:34 > 0:56:35Yeah. No, exactly -
0:56:35 > 0:56:36we clear the air.
0:56:36 > 0:56:38And then tomorrow, we go back
0:56:38 > 0:56:41to being friends on the morning train.
0:56:41 > 0:56:44With no regrets, no guilt and no apologies, OK?
0:56:44 > 0:56:47Because there is no point otherwise.
0:56:47 > 0:56:48And we don't tell anyone.
0:56:48 > 0:56:51No, nobody. No-one.
0:56:51 > 0:56:54You know, just no drunken confessions or anything like that.
0:56:54 > 0:56:55It's ours.
0:56:55 > 0:56:57It's ours and we take it to the grave, OK?
0:56:57 > 0:56:59Yeah, agreed. To the grave.
0:57:06 > 0:57:08Let's get the bill. I'll pay.
0:57:08 > 0:57:10No. I've got to pay. I've got to pay cash, as well.
0:57:10 > 0:57:11I said I was having an Indian.
0:57:11 > 0:57:14God, that was a stupid lie. Why did I do that?
0:57:14 > 0:57:16Are we about to make a mistake?
0:57:18 > 0:57:19I don't care.
0:57:37 > 0:57:39We need to press the button!
0:57:39 > 0:57:40Oh, yeah.