0:00:02 > 0:00:04- Mr Scott, twice in one week. You're spoiling me.- Our secret's out.
0:00:04 > 0:00:05- Is it such a bad thing?- Yes.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08For the first time, today, I thought, "Might be OK, here."
0:00:08 > 0:00:10That's a coincidence. For the first time, today, I thought,
0:00:10 > 0:00:12"This is never going to work."
0:00:12 > 0:00:14It's your family. You're all so intense. I can't see you again.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16I'm going to Dad's for the weekend.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19Any time you want a lift to your dad's, you only have to ask.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21- I thought you hated him.- I do.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24You do know that doing this without taking precautions is
0:00:24 > 0:00:26how babies get made.
0:00:26 > 0:00:27Would that be such a bad thing?
0:00:27 > 0:00:30It felt like, for a few moments, I could see the real Joe.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32We've got our very own Maya effect, of course.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Between me and you, we're trying for another baby.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Can you get me the morning-after pill?
0:00:36 > 0:00:40I woke up this morning and just realised, it's not the right time.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42MUSIC: Reward by The Teardrop Explodes
0:00:42 > 0:00:46JOE SINGS ALONG: # Bless my cotton socks I'm in the news
0:00:48 > 0:00:50# The king sits on his face
0:00:50 > 0:00:53# But it's all assumed
0:00:53 > 0:00:57# All wrapped up the same
0:00:57 > 0:01:00# All wrapped up the same
0:01:00 > 0:01:03# They can't have it You can't have it
0:01:03 > 0:01:05# I can't have it, too
0:01:05 > 0:01:07# Until I learn to
0:01:07 > 0:01:10# Accept my reward... # CAR HORN
0:01:11 > 0:01:18This programme contains some strong language
0:01:18 > 0:01:21SIREN WAILS
0:01:21 > 0:01:23# Prisoners stand in queues
0:01:23 > 0:01:25# And stand accused
0:01:27 > 0:01:29# Live in solitude
0:01:29 > 0:01:31# Like Howard Hughes... #
0:01:31 > 0:01:33MUSIC: Mardy Bum by Arctic Monkeys
0:01:33 > 0:01:37THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE
0:01:39 > 0:01:42# Laughs and jokes around
0:01:42 > 0:01:44# Remember cuddles in the kitchen
0:01:44 > 0:01:46# Yeah, to get things off the ground
0:01:46 > 0:01:48# And it was... #
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Mind turning the music off?
0:01:50 > 0:01:52- OK. - SHE TURNS THE MUSIC OFF
0:01:52 > 0:01:54- HE TURNS IT ON - Joe.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56SHE TURNS IT OFF # Oh, but it's right hard
0:01:56 > 0:01:58# To remember that On a day like today
0:01:58 > 0:02:00# When you're all argumentative
0:02:00 > 0:02:02# And you've got your face on. #
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Sorry, he's upset. He likes to sing.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06He was wandering down the road.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08We're taking him back to his parents.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10So he's not actually your child?
0:02:10 > 0:02:13No. We were just giving him a lift home.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Would you wait there a moment, please? Two-five to control...
0:02:17 > 0:02:20THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Mmm-hmm.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Yeah, it's a light-blue Transit.
0:02:26 > 0:02:31It's Mike, Delta, Zero, Four, X-ray, Foxtrot, Foxtrot.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Yeah...
0:02:37 > 0:02:40SHE EXHALES
0:02:40 > 0:02:42- Morning.- Oh, God.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48SHE GROANS
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Mmm...
0:02:56 > 0:03:00No, come on, it's too early for that.
0:03:00 > 0:03:01Oh, I know.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Let's try for twins.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05I don't think biology works that way.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10- CAR HORN - No. Come on, no.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13- That's Stuart dropping Becky off. - Oh, God.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Him and his car horn - sounds like a twat.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Now, now, don't start. - HE SIGHS
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I'm sorry we're here so early.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21I forgot the roads were so empty around here.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Oh, surely the crowds gathered at the roadside to
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- catch a glimpse of you(!) - Same old Alison.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Well, there's a sight I don't want to see any time soon.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Look at my new sister. Isn't she cute?
0:03:31 > 0:03:33- Hi, Paul. Are you all right?- Hey.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Oh, what is it about Alison?
0:03:34 > 0:03:37She always manages to find a man to run around after her.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39HE LAUGHS WEAKLY
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Rebecca tells me you're opening the restaurant soon.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Erm, gastro-pub. Yeah, not long, now.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46The chef's doing his first cook-ups today, so...
0:03:46 > 0:03:49It's very brave - pubs are closing left, right and centre.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51- It's a gastro-pub. - Paul knows what he's doing.
0:03:51 > 0:03:52I'm not saying he doesn't,
0:03:52 > 0:03:55I'm just saying it's a difficult time to be opening anything up.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Especially in this conversation.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58Paul's done his research.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01It's a great location, great chef, locally sourced produce.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03You don't know he's a great chef, yet, though, do you?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06I mean, if he's only just doing his first cook-ups.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08How's the caravan business, Stuart?
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Camper van? Thriving, yeah.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11It's just gone mad, actually.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13A load of middle-aged couples,
0:04:13 > 0:04:15going off to festivals after the kids have left home.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Well, with your ever-growing family, you're going to need it, eh?
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Hey, who says I'll stop at four? Life is an adventure.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Married, still young - if I have more kids, then so be it.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- I'll race you to five. - Oh, yeah?- Five kids? Really?
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Who are you marrying next(?)
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Dad said that he's going to get me a camper van
0:04:29 > 0:04:31when I've passed my driving test. How cool is that?
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Ooh, yeah, very cool.
0:04:33 > 0:04:34Very cool.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Maybe a bit big for your first car, do you think?
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Not a camper van per se, but I'd rather have her driving
0:04:39 > 0:04:41something than hanging around bus stops at night.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43She'll have something to drive, Stuart.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45- You don't need to worry about that. - Oh, right.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Are you going to get me a car, really?
0:04:47 > 0:04:49- No... No promises. - Well, we'll... You know..
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- No, we'll talk about it. - We'll try but...
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Sorry, Rebecca hadn't mentioned anything about that.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55I don't want to tread on anyone's toes.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57No, you're not treading on anyone's toes.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01- Right, that's me off. OK, nice to see you again, Stuart.- Yeah.
0:05:01 > 0:05:02Becca, back to reality I think.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05You know you've got a tonne of homework to do, I think.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07OK. BABY SQUEALS
0:05:07 > 0:05:11Two of my three favourite girls in the world. Yeah, you. You.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14- This one! - LAUGHTER
0:05:18 > 0:05:19No, I'm glad you had a nice time.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21I always do with Dad.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Well, you hardly see him - the novelty helps.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Trust me, the less you see of Stuart, the more you love him.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Mum!
0:05:28 > 0:05:32I'm sorry. No, I'm glad you had a nice time with your dad.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35He can't be all bad. I mean, look how lovely you are.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Although, I think that might be nurture more than nature.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40You're doing it again!
0:05:40 > 0:05:43It might not seem like it, but you being happy -
0:05:43 > 0:05:45it's the most important thing in the world.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Apart from Joe coming home in a police car.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Maya's not Polish?
0:06:02 > 0:06:04I'm sorry, of course she's Polish.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05It turns out not.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08She came from the Ukraine on a short-term study visa
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- and she's overstayed it by seven months.- No, no, no, that's...
0:06:10 > 0:06:13This isn't right. She's Polish. She's...she's legal.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16She's like part of our family. She helps out with Joe.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Is that in a paid capacity?
0:06:18 > 0:06:21No, it's... No...
0:06:21 > 0:06:23It's... No, it's not in a paid capacity.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25She's the girlfriend of the lad at my dad's brewery.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28She's interested in teaching so she helps out now and...
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Where is she now? I need to get Joe to school.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33She's been taken to the police station to be interviewed.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36She is being held in a police station? Here?
0:06:36 > 0:06:39- This can't be happening.- They'll assess if she's at risk of fleeing
0:06:39 > 0:06:42and, if not, they'll start the process of her being removed
0:06:42 > 0:06:45or, more likely, going home voluntarily.
0:06:45 > 0:06:46No, she's not going anywhere.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48I don't think that's for you to say, madam.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50- Who's your senior officer? - Inspector Herd.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53OK, Bob Herd.
0:06:53 > 0:06:54Great. OK.
0:06:54 > 0:06:55Inspector Herd.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58We'll just go and see Bob. He'll sort this out.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00It doesn't work like that, madam.
0:07:00 > 0:07:01It does work like that.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04Believe me, for me, it very much works like that.
0:07:04 > 0:07:05Come on, Joe.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10- Everything OK?- Oh, yeah, fine. PC Plum turned up in person.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- Listen, would you be able to take Joe to school?- Oh, I'm already late.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Well, even better - look, now you've got an excuse.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Joe, will you go with Nicola, love? Joe, go with Nicola. OK?
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Erm, OK.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Erm... Did you manage to talk to Paul?
0:07:22 > 0:07:25I've got one or two other things on my mind right now.
0:07:25 > 0:07:26See you later.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31ENGINE STARTS
0:07:31 > 0:07:35Yeah, I know. Here she is.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37What? Slumming it today, then?
0:07:37 > 0:07:39- His car knocked out. - You mean it broke down?
0:07:39 > 0:07:41It's going to cost bare money to repair
0:07:41 > 0:07:44and he ain't got it right now.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47OK, why are you talking in that weird way?
0:07:47 > 0:07:50People change. Get over it.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52What's wrong with it?
0:07:52 > 0:07:54The car, not the accent.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Probably all that wanking you were both doing in it
0:07:57 > 0:07:58wrecked the suspension.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Oh, he'd know about that. Mmm.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03I'm not sure that repartee is your strong suit, Dan.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Rebecca would know about it, too, from what I hear.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07What?
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Calm down, Becky.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13I mean, from what Luke tells me, I couldn't keep up with you, anyway.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Who else have you told?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Is that your mum?
0:08:18 > 0:08:20"Your mum"? Now you really are scraping the barrel.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22No, your mum, there.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Dad, can you give me a call when you get this, please?
0:08:36 > 0:08:37I'm at the police station.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Maya's been detained. Some immigration nonsense.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43Or, better still, can you ring your mate Bob Herd? Inspector Herd.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Thanks.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46Inspector Herd's in meetings all day.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Yeah, thank you. I'll wait.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55- KIDS:- One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight...
0:08:59 > 0:09:02I think you're going to school now.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Bye.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06"I am packing you an extra pair of shoes -
0:09:06 > 0:09:08"and your angry eyes, just in case."
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Mrs Potato Head, Toy Story 2.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23DOOR SLAMS
0:09:55 > 0:09:58I can't really help right now, Alison.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00I'm 14 blood samples behind.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Yeah, I just thought that you could get a GP's letter supporting
0:10:03 > 0:10:07- her right to remain on medical grounds.- Erm, well...
0:10:07 > 0:10:09I'll try, but it's a long shot.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Can't you just write it and get your prick of a boss to sign it?
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Her prick of a boss can actually read!
0:10:16 > 0:10:17Oh, God.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Sorry about that.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21She wasn't being gratuitously offensive -
0:10:21 > 0:10:23she really does just think you're a prick.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Fair enough. What about you?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27I don't really have a strong opinion either way.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30I'll count that as a result. You're late.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Georgie!
0:10:31 > 0:10:34There's a GP trainee post just turned up in a mate's practice.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36You should give them a call.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Georgie?
0:10:38 > 0:10:39Are you sacking me?
0:10:39 > 0:10:41I will, if that's what it takes to stop you
0:10:41 > 0:10:42wasting your talent in this place.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44You know that isn't how it works.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46I need to apply for an Inter-Deanery Transfer.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Blah-blah-blah, official, yawn.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Let's just say I have connections, if you want it.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53It's in Stockport.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55It is, indeed, and, as you are now used to rain,
0:10:55 > 0:10:57it shouldn't be too much of a culture shock.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59This isn't about the phone call just now?
0:10:59 > 0:11:02No. Call him, you'll get on.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04he's less of a prick than me,
0:11:04 > 0:11:06and Stockport has a hat museum.
0:11:08 > 0:11:09Thanks for seeing me, Bob.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11I'm not sure I had much choice, did I?
0:11:13 > 0:11:16- She's being released. - Oh, great. Thank you.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Thank you so much.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22She's coming to see us tomorrow to be issued with an IS-96
0:11:22 > 0:11:26and then she's agreed to go home to Ukraine.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30She agreed...? She can't have agreed. That's...
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Can't she appeal?
0:11:32 > 0:11:33If she appeals,
0:11:33 > 0:11:37we are obliged to investigate how she's been supporting herself.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Why are you saying it like that?
0:11:39 > 0:11:41DRAWER SLAMS SHUT
0:11:41 > 0:11:43How's Maurice?
0:11:44 > 0:11:49Erm... He's...he's well, yeah. He's...
0:11:49 > 0:11:53he's up a hill somewhere, raising sheep, or else he'd be here, too.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56You do know there's nothing I can do, don't you?
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Look, I don't know what my dad's told you about Joe, his grandson.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Nothing much, to tell the truth.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Erm, there's a problem with his hearing, I think he said.
0:12:04 > 0:12:10That's right, yeah. It's a problem with his hearing, and Maya...
0:12:10 > 0:12:13she's brilliant with him. She's got childcare qualifications
0:12:13 > 0:12:14- from her own country. - Poland or Ukraine?
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Does it matter? She's talented and she's unlocked something in Joe,
0:12:17 > 0:12:21and he's your mate's grandson, so...
0:12:21 > 0:12:23So?
0:12:23 > 0:12:27So you must be able to turn a blind eye, Bob.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31You can't seriously be asking me to break the law in a police station?
0:12:31 > 0:12:33I'm seriously asking you to forget your job for a minute
0:12:33 > 0:12:35and remember who you are.
0:12:35 > 0:12:36You're my dad's oldest mate.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39I'm seriously asking you to show some compassion, Bob.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42I show compassion every day of my working life.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Maurice has always done all right by you, hasn't he?
0:12:45 > 0:12:47The police Christmas party, the brewery, every year,
0:12:47 > 0:12:49all that free beer...
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Are you suggesting that all that free beer over the years was
0:12:52 > 0:12:54him buying goodwill in case he needed it later on?
0:12:54 > 0:12:58Are you telling me that you've never done a favour for a mate?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01I am already turning a blind eye to the fact that she was
0:13:01 > 0:13:04illegally working at the brewery and illegally working for you.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07If I flagged that up, she could be asked to pay back her wages
0:13:07 > 0:13:10and you and the brewery could be fined £10,000 apiece.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Now, if I were you, I'd leave,
0:13:12 > 0:13:15while you still have an ounce of goodwill left
0:13:15 > 0:13:16in the bank of Bob Herd.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20The year my dad's had since my mum died...
0:13:20 > 0:13:24He's just finished grieving and you'd do this to his grandson?
0:13:24 > 0:13:26You're some fucking mate.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38It's not over, Maya. Believe me.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42I think it is over. I'm sorry. I should have told you.
0:13:42 > 0:13:43No, no, we'll appeal.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47If I appeal and lose, I won't be allowed back for ten years.
0:13:47 > 0:13:48Hey, what about David?
0:13:48 > 0:13:49What about him?
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Well, you already live together, don't you?
0:13:52 > 0:13:53Why don't you get married?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Are you making a joke?
0:13:55 > 0:13:56No, he's an EU citizen.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59You obviously love each other. Why don't you marry him?
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Maybe one day...
0:14:03 > 0:14:05but in the future.
0:14:05 > 0:14:10Look, maybe that one day in the future is right now.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Eh?
0:14:12 > 0:14:13Come on.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14You're insane.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18She isn't going to get married just cos you ask her to.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20I wouldn't be so sure about that.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE
0:14:55 > 0:14:56She's already broken the law
0:14:56 > 0:14:58and you want her to enter into a sham marriage?
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Not a sham marriage - a premature marriage.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03I got your messages. Is Joe all right?
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Yeah, yeah, he's at school. He's fine.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07It's Maya - she's being deported.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10- Oh, shit. No. Why?- Yeah.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13- I have just got off the phone to Bob Herd.- Oh, and?
0:15:13 > 0:15:15And you're lucky he's a lovely fella who knows you're upset
0:15:15 > 0:15:17and are not making any sense.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Well, did you ask if he can do anything?
0:15:19 > 0:15:20I did, as a matter of fact.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22I asked if he wouldn't charge you for trying to bribe
0:15:22 > 0:15:25a police officer, and that he'd accept your apology.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26When did you see Bob Herd?
0:15:26 > 0:15:28- I'm not apologising. - You are. You've got to.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31He's my best mate here, and you've just marched into that office
0:15:31 > 0:15:33and shat all over that friendship.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- It's about the worst thing you could have done.- Not for Joe, it wasn't.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Oh, for God's sake, there are more things in this world than Joe.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40- Not to me, there aren't! - There are, Alison.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42I know you don't want to hear it but there are.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44I'd love to stand here and argue with you all day, Dad,
0:15:44 > 0:15:47but I've got to get help from people that give a shit.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Of course I give a shit. He's my grandson.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51I'm just saying, you can't expect everybody to do your bidding
0:15:51 > 0:15:54whenever you say the word "Joe".
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Oy!
0:15:56 > 0:15:57Alison!
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Alison.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Nice, Maurice.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Oh, are you defending her? She tried to blackmail a police officer.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Well, I think blackmail's a bit strong, isn't it?
0:16:10 > 0:16:12This is Bob Herd, we're talking about.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15He'd turn a blind eye to murder if there was a pint in it for him.
0:16:15 > 0:16:16She's out of control.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18She tries to fix everything by willing it to happen
0:16:18 > 0:16:20or shouting about it!
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Oh, I wonder where she gets that from(!)
0:16:27 > 0:16:28This is all your fault.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30What were you thinking of, hiring a bloody Ukrainian?
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Everyone thought she was Polish. CAR ENGINE STARTS
0:16:34 > 0:16:37I see you're having this new conditioning vessel installed.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Yeah, I took an informed decision and went against your advice.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Well, I know that, that's why I had a word with the supplier,
0:16:42 > 0:16:44and made sure you weren't being made a mug of.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46What? You did what?
0:16:49 > 0:16:50You can't do it, can you?
0:16:50 > 0:16:52You just can't let it go!
0:16:55 > 0:16:59Do you know what? I'm not sure that this is working out.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03- Right.- I don't know. You know, round peg, square hole.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06You might want to think about looking for something else.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Yeah.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09I agree.
0:17:09 > 0:17:10What?
0:17:10 > 0:17:13You may not have noticed, but I actually like it here
0:17:13 > 0:17:16and, to my surprise and yours, I'm actually good at it.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Not just the rebranding, the internet stuff, the marketing,
0:17:19 > 0:17:21but the actual brewing -
0:17:21 > 0:17:24the science, the precision, the magic.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26You don't need to tell me about that. I've lived it.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29I know, and that's the problem.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Dad, what's clear is that one of us has to walk away from this,
0:17:32 > 0:17:35and it's never going to be you.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37A couple of people I know from uni approached me
0:17:37 > 0:17:38when I first moved back.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41You know, people who actually think I might have something to offer.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Crazy as it sounds, people who might believe in me.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47I see. I see.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50I gave up my job to give you something to do.
0:17:50 > 0:17:54You brew three ales and that's it. Brewing's done. Time to move on.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56It isn't working out. You just said so yourself.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58I said that because I'm pissed off with you.
0:17:58 > 0:18:02No, you said that cos you were pissed off with Alison.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05There is such a thing as being too clever, you know?
0:18:05 > 0:18:08I'm sure there is, but I don't think it's something either of us
0:18:08 > 0:18:10have to worry about any time soon.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19See you tomorrow.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Can I... Can I have a word, Paul?
0:18:25 > 0:18:26Yeah. Yeah.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Just so you know, Joe - he seemed a bit off today.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31I couldn't get him to join in at all,
0:18:31 > 0:18:33not even with the activities he likes.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Maybe he's feeling a bit under the weather.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37Yeah, it'll be nothing.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40- I just thought you'd like to know. - OK. Thank you.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Hiya, Mozart.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Hey? Come on.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Perfect. Come on.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Ah, there he is.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Eddie, a bit of bad news on the beer front, I'm afraid.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03- Oh, yeah?- Yeah, the builders have just told me that
0:19:03 > 0:19:05the plumbing behind the bar is not going to be
0:19:05 > 0:19:08ready in time for the draught ales, so it's going to have to be bottled.
0:19:08 > 0:19:09Fair enough.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13Look, I'm sorry, mate. I know how much you put into that special.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16It's only beer.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Right, good, good.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20How's Joe, since his trauma this morning?
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Trauma?
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Yeah, he's absolutely fine.
0:19:26 > 0:19:27Joe?
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Me and your uncle Eddie, we once had a ride in the back of a police car,
0:19:35 > 0:19:38when we were young lads, didn't we, Ed?
0:19:38 > 0:19:39A bit older, maybe.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41All done, now, though, eh?
0:19:41 > 0:19:45That's the main thing, isn't it?
0:19:45 > 0:19:46Come on, then.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50I think he's forgotten it even happened.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53No point making a big deal about it, get him upset...
0:19:53 > 0:19:56- "Least said, soonest mended," and all that.- Yeah, sure.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58- Come on, then, Joe. - After the morning I've had,
0:19:58 > 0:20:00I think it should be the family motto.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Maya won't be coming to play with you for a little while.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08She's got to go home. and be with her mum for a bit.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Yes.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14And that might make you sad but Maya will come back.
0:20:14 > 0:20:15Yes.
0:20:15 > 0:20:16Do you understand, Joe?
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Let me see, now...
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Yes.
0:20:22 > 0:20:26And Maya's going to come round and say goodbye to you before she goes.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Joe, can you try and look at me?
0:20:30 > 0:20:31Does he need to look at you, love? He gets it.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35Love, do you get it? Maya is not going to be here with you any more.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!
0:20:37 > 0:20:40I think he gets it. There you go.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44MUSIC PLAYS IN HEADPHONES
0:20:53 > 0:20:55I know you like to bury everything,
0:20:55 > 0:20:57but Joe needs to understand what's going on.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00What if he understands perfectly and he's OK with it?
0:21:00 > 0:21:02He can't be OK with it. He has a bond with Maya.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04I don't want him to panic when she's not around.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06It sounds like it's you that's panicking.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08I spend my whole life panicking.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Are we doing the right thing?
0:21:10 > 0:21:11Can we ever do the right thing?
0:21:11 > 0:21:15Then there's Rebecca, us, the diner, the restaurant,
0:21:15 > 0:21:17the baby you want so badly...
0:21:17 > 0:21:18The baby WE want so badly.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22I don't panic when Joe is with Maya, so, yes, I am.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24I'm terrified that Maya's leaving.
0:21:24 > 0:21:25The baby WE want so badly.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28That's what I said!
0:21:28 > 0:21:30SHE SIGHS
0:21:35 > 0:21:37But there's only one good way of dealing with boys' gossip.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Ignore it, I know.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42Ignore it? No.
0:21:42 > 0:21:43Avenge it.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44Really?
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Get Luke on his own and intimidate him.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51How am I going to do that, though? He chucked me.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Use something personal and hurtful
0:21:54 > 0:21:57and make it count.
0:21:57 > 0:21:58What if I...
0:21:58 > 0:22:01I don't know, make it worse?
0:22:01 > 0:22:03SHE SIGHS He's a teenage boy.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05You know, he's 20 times more insecure than you,
0:22:05 > 0:22:08despite the monkey walk and big shoulders.
0:22:08 > 0:22:09I'm sure you'll think of something.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12Well, monkey walk and big shoulders isn't a bad start.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14You make sure you scare that little shit of an ex-boyfriend
0:22:14 > 0:22:18from turning you into masturbation fodder for his virgin mates.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Don't let me down.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25SWING SQUEAKS
0:22:31 > 0:22:35MUSIC: Don't You Want Me by The Human League
0:22:35 > 0:22:36Louise.
0:22:36 > 0:22:37Maurice.
0:22:41 > 0:22:42Are you here for open mike night?
0:22:42 > 0:22:44No, no.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Well, for what it's worth, I think you're ready.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50I'm just having a drink with a pal.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Well...
0:22:58 > 0:23:01When you said your Alison wanted to apologise,
0:23:01 > 0:23:04I thought you meant that Alison would actually be here in person,
0:23:04 > 0:23:06apologising.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Don't be a stickler, Bob. Just enjoy your pint.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Fair enough.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15I'm sorry about Alison. I really am.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17She's a bit of an hothead.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Yeah, well, she was desperate. I could see that.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Have you got something going with that milf music teacher
0:23:26 > 0:23:27with the backward lad?
0:23:27 > 0:23:31- She keeps looking over.- Yeah, well, there's a reason for that.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Oh, yeah? Dark horse!
0:23:40 > 0:23:41I can't stay long.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45- What have you been saying to your mates about me and you?- Nothing.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Well, from what Dan said to me this morning, I don't think that's true.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50You didn't tell me it was supposed to be a secret.
0:23:50 > 0:23:51It's not a secret, it's private,
0:23:51 > 0:23:54and, despite your new off-the-peg stupid act,
0:23:54 > 0:23:56I thought you'd have known the difference.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58It's not really that big a deal, is it?
0:23:58 > 0:24:01I won't be masturbation fodder for your virgin mates.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03It's a bit late for that now.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08I just thought you should note that my auntie's a doctor
0:24:08 > 0:24:10- at Dr Graves' surgery.- So?
0:24:10 > 0:24:13So she has access to everyone's medical records, including yours,
0:24:13 > 0:24:15so if there's anything in there
0:24:15 > 0:24:17that you don't want the whole town to know about,
0:24:17 > 0:24:22I'd be a bit more careful about what you say about me.
0:24:22 > 0:24:23I feel like I don't know you any more.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Well, that's good, cos I'd rather you didn't.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28HE SIGHS
0:24:31 > 0:24:33It wasn't a serious thing, you know.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Louise was the first woman I'd had anything to do with
0:24:35 > 0:24:37since I lost Sandra.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Well, don't play it down. It's still a result.
0:24:40 > 0:24:44I think maybe I just wanted to know that life moves on after all.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I get that.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49To tell you the truth, being with someone else,
0:24:49 > 0:24:51you know, holding someone else like that,
0:24:51 > 0:24:54I still felt lonely.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56It made me miss Sandra more, not less.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Everything about it felt wrong.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04There's nothing like a bit of wrong to get the juices flowing, eh?
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Bloody hell. I'm opening my heart to you, here, Bob.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09I know. You're scaring me.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Oh, come on, I'm only having a laugh.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17So, is it definitely over between you and her, then?
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Yeah. I'd say so.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22So, how would you feel if I asked her out?
0:25:24 > 0:25:27Fine. Yeah.
0:25:27 > 0:25:28- Yeah?- Yeah.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31- Yeah?- Absolutely. What are we?
0:25:31 > 0:25:35A couple of teenagers riding up and down outside her house on our bikes?
0:25:35 > 0:25:37After a decent interval, obviously.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Obviously. It goes without saying.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46# ..To talk with, all by myself
0:25:46 > 0:25:48# No-one to walk with
0:25:48 > 0:25:50# But I'm happy on the shelf
0:25:50 > 0:25:53# Ain't misbehaving
0:25:53 > 0:25:56# Saving my love for you
0:25:59 > 0:26:01# I know for certain
0:26:01 > 0:26:03# The one I love
0:26:03 > 0:26:05# I'm through with flirtin'
0:26:05 > 0:26:07# It's just you that I'm thinkin' of
0:26:07 > 0:26:10- # Ain't misbehavin' - Ain't misbehaving
0:26:10 > 0:26:14- # Savin' all my love for you - Savin' my love for you. #
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Joe, look at the photo. Who's that?
0:26:20 > 0:26:22- Who's that? - Has anyone seen my English book?
0:26:22 > 0:26:23- No.- Anyone?
0:26:23 > 0:26:27Joe, it's Maya, isn't it? You know Maya.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29She's going to be going away.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Does that make you sad?
0:26:32 > 0:26:35It makes me sad, yes.
0:26:35 > 0:26:36Does it really?
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Joe, Joe, do you understand that Maya is going to be going away?
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Has anyone seen my pen?
0:26:45 > 0:26:46Oh, for God's sake!
0:26:46 > 0:26:48For God's sake.
0:26:48 > 0:26:49Hey, Joe, Joe...
0:26:49 > 0:26:51- Rebecca.- I know you're upset.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Yeah, you know, this is hard for you.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56# Lost your love of life? Too much apple pie
0:26:56 > 0:26:58# Oh, have you lost your love of life?
0:26:58 > 0:27:00# Too much apple pie. #
0:27:00 > 0:27:02MUSIC FADES IN: Kennedy by The Wedding Present
0:27:02 > 0:27:06HE SINGS ALONG: # And now Ari's walked away with Johnny's wife
0:27:08 > 0:27:11# You've got to pick some people up
0:27:11 > 0:27:15# You've got to let some people go
0:27:15 > 0:27:18# But if Lee's name does come up
0:27:18 > 0:27:21# Oh, well, I really want to know
0:27:21 > 0:27:26# Because everybody loves a TV show... #
0:27:34 > 0:27:36HE BREATHES HEAVILY
0:27:46 > 0:27:50DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYS
0:27:50 > 0:27:53MUSIC GROWS LOUDER
0:27:55 > 0:27:58MUSIC GROWS EVEN LOUDER
0:28:03 > 0:28:06MUSIC FADES OUT
0:28:08 > 0:28:11- GIRL:- Yeah!
0:28:19 > 0:28:21HE BREATHES HEAVILY
0:28:25 > 0:28:28- You're late. - Did you sleep with Bob Herd?
0:28:28 > 0:28:30No.
0:28:30 > 0:28:31Did you?
0:28:33 > 0:28:37I have another student booked after you, so we'll have to cut it short.
0:28:37 > 0:28:41# Everybody loves a happy ending
0:28:41 > 0:28:45# But we don't even try
0:28:45 > 0:28:49# We go straight past pretending
0:28:49 > 0:28:54# To the part where everybody loves to cry
0:28:56 > 0:28:59# Indoor fireworks... #
0:29:05 > 0:29:06That was fine. Why did you stop?
0:29:08 > 0:29:09Did you sleep with him?
0:29:09 > 0:29:11No, I did not!
0:29:11 > 0:29:14Then why was his car outside the pub this morning?
0:29:14 > 0:29:17Because he drank too much and, being a police inspector,
0:29:17 > 0:29:19he's more respectful than most of the drink-driving laws.
0:29:19 > 0:29:21Well, I know that's not true, for a start.
0:29:21 > 0:29:23SHE SIGHS
0:29:23 > 0:29:27We drank too much because we couldn't stop talking about you.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32Oh.
0:29:32 > 0:29:33Right.
0:29:42 > 0:29:45Dear me, Maurice, is this really still a thing?
0:29:45 > 0:29:47Aged 56, and you don't fancy me until your best mate has
0:29:47 > 0:29:49a crack at me, and then you decide you fancy me after all.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52Good God, does nothing change at all?
0:29:52 > 0:29:53I don't go much on analysis.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55Clearly.
0:29:55 > 0:29:58I'm sorry, I'm just very confused at the moment.
0:29:58 > 0:30:01Maurice, we've been to bed together a couple of times.
0:30:01 > 0:30:02We're not in a relationship.
0:30:02 > 0:30:04You don't get to tell me you're confused.
0:30:04 > 0:30:06You don't care about my feelings?
0:30:06 > 0:30:08I don't care enough about your feelings to torture myself
0:30:08 > 0:30:10trying to second-guess them.
0:30:10 > 0:30:14Now, are you going to sing or are you going to leave?
0:30:17 > 0:30:23SHE RESUMES PLAYING Indoor Fireworks by Elvis Costello
0:30:26 > 0:30:32# We get to the part where I say that I'm gonna leave... #
0:30:33 > 0:30:34I'll be back in ten minutes. I promise.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36You'd better be. I've got a life too, you know.
0:30:36 > 0:30:38I've got hot yoga for beginners at 2.30pm.
0:30:38 > 0:30:40Yeah, I'll be back, I said.
0:30:40 > 0:30:44Did you manage to talk to Paul about not wanting to get pregnant?
0:30:48 > 0:30:51When you take Joe for an appointment,
0:30:51 > 0:30:54- do you notice all the parents for the other children?- Ugh.
0:30:54 > 0:30:56Mainly I notice the kids that are a lot worse than Joe
0:30:56 > 0:30:59and feel guilty that I'm pleased.
0:30:59 > 0:31:02Take a look at the parents next time,
0:31:02 > 0:31:06or just a mum or a dad...
0:31:06 > 0:31:08but never a couple.
0:31:08 > 0:31:11Nicola, you're clever, but you're not relationship clever.
0:31:11 > 0:31:14Paul and me - we're not the kind of couple that split up.
0:31:14 > 0:31:17Everyone thinks that until they do.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24TOOL BUZZES
0:31:24 > 0:31:25Oh, hey-o.
0:31:26 > 0:31:28Oof, a bit early, Dad.
0:31:28 > 0:31:29I need a stiff drink,
0:31:29 > 0:31:32in case my daughter starts telling me off again
0:31:32 > 0:31:35and, if pub food doesn't taste good with beer, then it's all over.
0:31:35 > 0:31:37Oh, too right. Got to be big on flavour.
0:31:37 > 0:31:39I mean, you know, don't get me wrong,
0:31:39 > 0:31:42I like a skate wing as much as the next guy, just never on a pub menu.
0:31:42 > 0:31:44- You're talking my language, Gary. - Mmm-hmm.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46- Stop taking over, Dad. - You won't know I'm here.
0:31:46 > 0:31:49- All right, then, herbed, baked fish, could be battered.- Right.
0:31:49 > 0:31:50- What do you think?- Yeah.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52Lamb stew, venison sausages...
0:31:52 > 0:31:54And a vegetarian option for them
0:31:54 > 0:31:56that want to spoil it for everybody else.
0:31:56 > 0:31:57All locally sourced.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59Mint cake and sheep shit are locally sourced -
0:31:59 > 0:32:01doesn't mean they should be on the menu.
0:32:01 > 0:32:03I thought we wouldn't know you were here, Maurice?
0:32:03 > 0:32:04Paul, I was thinking maybe one
0:32:04 > 0:32:06- change before next week and then... - PHONE RINGS
0:32:06 > 0:32:10- ..depending on the day...- Sorry, sorry, it's my son's school. Hello.
0:32:12 > 0:32:16- Right, OK. Yeah, half an hour? - Oh, very good.- All right, bye.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18Sorry.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27HE SIGHS
0:32:27 > 0:32:31I remember when a scallop meant a slice of potato in batter.
0:32:31 > 0:32:34- I want you to cut Eddie some slack. - On the scallop front?
0:32:34 > 0:32:37I realise that Eddie doesn't correspond to your traditional
0:32:37 > 0:32:39notion of masculinity and, therefore, you have issues
0:32:39 > 0:32:42around treating him as a grown-up, but it's got to stop, Maurice.
0:32:42 > 0:32:45- Whoa. Where has this come from? - You clearly have problems with him
0:32:45 > 0:32:47knowing about your burgeoning relationship with Louise and...
0:32:47 > 0:32:50There's no burgeoning going on of any description.
0:32:50 > 0:32:51That ship has sailed.
0:32:51 > 0:32:54It's over, whatever it was, and, secondly,
0:32:54 > 0:32:56I only ever rode Eddie to see that his heart was in it,
0:32:56 > 0:32:58and it turns out it isn't.
0:32:58 > 0:32:59What do you mean?
0:32:59 > 0:33:00What? He hasn't told you?
0:33:00 > 0:33:03He's told me he's got other plans outside the brewery.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08He hasn't told you. Really? Typical.
0:33:08 > 0:33:11It seems to me it should be him you're bollocking.
0:33:11 > 0:33:13TOOL BUZZES
0:33:24 > 0:33:27Hey. Hi, Sweetheart.
0:33:30 > 0:33:34- Shall we go in and see him? - Paul, Alison, come in.
0:33:38 > 0:33:40He was very agitated when he came in,
0:33:40 > 0:33:43and then he wouldn't come away from doing his little door dance.
0:33:43 > 0:33:46He was tipping chairs over and throwing books around.
0:33:46 > 0:33:48He was very upset.
0:33:48 > 0:33:51Oh, something must have happened with another kid or something.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53That's... Did you see anything?
0:33:53 > 0:33:57Well, nothing that we're aware of. How has he been at home?
0:33:58 > 0:34:00Well, actually, there's a...
0:34:00 > 0:34:03There is a young lady that's been helping out and she's...
0:34:03 > 0:34:06Unfortunately, she's going to have to leave, so maybe that's...
0:34:06 > 0:34:09Or not. Or not.
0:34:09 > 0:34:13He doesn't say how he feels, so, you know, who knows?
0:34:13 > 0:34:15But we have been talking about it a lot.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21This change at home, well, maybe it's something we could talk about.
0:34:21 > 0:34:24- At home time, or story time, maybe...- No, look, sorry, no.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26He doesn't need...
0:34:32 > 0:34:37I just don't think he needs to dwell on it any longer than necessary.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39Well, what I've been doing with Joe,
0:34:39 > 0:34:43when he's been finding things a bit difficult, is using story cards.
0:34:43 > 0:34:45He seems to quite like them.
0:34:45 > 0:34:50Perhaps it's something you could try at home, if you have the time.
0:34:50 > 0:34:51Perhaps.
0:34:54 > 0:34:58Yeah, do you know? They actually sound really helpful. Thank you.
0:34:58 > 0:35:00This does happen in the first term.
0:35:00 > 0:35:02- It could happen to any child, not just a child...- A child like Joe?
0:35:02 > 0:35:05Yeah, I know, we get it.
0:35:05 > 0:35:07- Thanks. - BELL RINGS
0:35:07 > 0:35:11Well, so much for him not feeling anything about Maya leaving.
0:35:11 > 0:35:13So much for you putting ideas into his head.
0:35:13 > 0:35:15Joe.
0:35:16 > 0:35:19Where do you fancy going, then, kidder?
0:35:19 > 0:35:22- JOE SIGHS - Anywhere.- Oh, anywhere.
0:35:22 > 0:35:26Would that be anywhere with chips and a milkshake?
0:35:26 > 0:35:28What are you doing?
0:35:28 > 0:35:30You can't reward him wrecking a classroom.
0:35:30 > 0:35:31I'm not.
0:35:31 > 0:35:33I'm treating him because he's upset.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35Oh, do what you like. I'm sick of playing bad cop.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40CAR ENGINE REVS
0:36:10 > 0:36:12He was fine with Maya leaving,
0:36:12 > 0:36:14but you kept picking away at him until, finally,
0:36:14 > 0:36:18he got so wound up that he flipped out at school, so, well done, you.
0:36:18 > 0:36:20Next up, a nervous breakdown.
0:36:20 > 0:36:23Yeah, well done, me, cos you know what?
0:36:23 > 0:36:24I'm glad it happened.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27Why? To satisfy your need for an emotional outburst?
0:36:27 > 0:36:29His need, not mine.
0:36:29 > 0:36:32I don't think you know the difference, do you?
0:36:38 > 0:36:40All right, then, what are we having?
0:36:40 > 0:36:42Same again, is it?
0:36:47 > 0:36:50'Other people might think that this is an unnecessary activity
0:36:50 > 0:36:53'for their children, so leave them doing it.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56'My point is, having worked with a lot of kids,
0:36:56 > 0:36:58'I can see it makes them happy.
0:36:58 > 0:37:02'I can't see it costs them a lot.
0:37:02 > 0:37:05'And I see a lot... I see loads of...'
0:37:07 > 0:37:09Thanks.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11Hey. Hey.
0:37:11 > 0:37:14I think you should stay and watch this.
0:37:14 > 0:37:18Later on, there's a boy who is three years old,
0:37:18 > 0:37:20and his parents were told he was so severely autistic
0:37:20 > 0:37:22that he would never talk,
0:37:22 > 0:37:25and then he had intensive applied behavioural analysis.
0:37:25 > 0:37:26He's now 16, a normal teenager,
0:37:26 > 0:37:29and he plays badminton for his national team.
0:37:29 > 0:37:31Wow, badminton, eh?
0:37:31 > 0:37:33Oh, well, you can't have everything.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36PAUL LAUGHS
0:37:39 > 0:37:42What if he's right, Paul?
0:37:42 > 0:37:43Eh?
0:37:43 > 0:37:45What if he is right and we're wrong,
0:37:45 > 0:37:48and we make jokes about this stuff, and then we turn around and Joe's 16
0:37:48 > 0:37:50and he's still flinging chairs around when he's upset,
0:37:50 > 0:37:52but nobody thinks he's cute any more.
0:37:52 > 0:37:55- Nobody thinks they can handle him any more.- How do you know he hasn't
0:37:55 > 0:37:58just had enough of you telling him to be upset?
0:37:58 > 0:38:02If he feels something, he has to learn to express it.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04If that means turning a few chairs over at school now,
0:38:04 > 0:38:06I think that's a small price to pay.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08KNOCK AT DOOR
0:38:10 > 0:38:14KNOCK AT DOOR Well, you'd better get that.
0:38:14 > 0:38:16DOORBELL RINGS It might be the Emotion Fairy
0:38:16 > 0:38:19with more feelings for you to scatter around.
0:38:19 > 0:38:21HE SIGHS
0:38:21 > 0:38:23DOORBELL RINGS
0:38:23 > 0:38:26Hi, sorry, it's not a great time, guys.
0:38:26 > 0:38:28Is your daughter home?
0:38:30 > 0:38:31Lovely hall, by the way.
0:38:33 > 0:38:34Can we come in?
0:38:34 > 0:38:37Yeah, yeah, of course. Just come on through.
0:38:41 > 0:38:43OK, let me get this straight, Rebecca.
0:38:43 > 0:38:46You told Luke that you had access to his medical records.
0:38:46 > 0:38:49I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get anyone into trouble.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52I have to say, I admire your angle of attack.
0:38:52 > 0:38:56Unfortunately, your friend told his mother, who rang the surgery.
0:38:57 > 0:39:02Oh, my God. He told his mother? Really?
0:39:02 > 0:39:03How lame is that?
0:39:03 > 0:39:05Rebecca, the shocking bit is that you would do something
0:39:05 > 0:39:07so stupid, not that he would tell his mum.
0:39:07 > 0:39:10Although, I have to agree, that is pretty lame.
0:39:10 > 0:39:13And you... you talked her round, his mum, yeah?
0:39:13 > 0:39:17You seem to be forgetting how revered I am in this town.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19Yes, I talked her round but, unfortunately,
0:39:19 > 0:39:22I had to agree to sack Nicola.
0:39:25 > 0:39:26Oh.
0:39:29 > 0:39:31So, it's not just Nicola -
0:39:31 > 0:39:33none of this family have a sense of humour.
0:39:33 > 0:39:35None of this family have your sense of humour.
0:39:35 > 0:39:37That's not the same thing.
0:39:37 > 0:39:38Of course I didn't sack Nicola
0:39:38 > 0:39:40but, if you want to get at your friend again,
0:39:40 > 0:39:43then choose another way, OK?
0:39:45 > 0:39:47All right, well, thank you for being so understanding.
0:39:47 > 0:39:48Thank you. Yeah.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54- All right.- I'm sorry.
0:39:54 > 0:39:55We know.
0:39:55 > 0:39:58Mind telling us why?
0:39:58 > 0:40:01He hurt my feelings. He said some stuff.
0:40:01 > 0:40:04What stuff, eh? I'll go round and give him a thump.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06Well, you're good of good ideas, today, aren't you(?)
0:40:06 > 0:40:09Sometimes audacious is the only thing that works.
0:40:09 > 0:40:10Now you sound like Stuart.
0:40:10 > 0:40:11So what?
0:40:11 > 0:40:12Yeah, so what?
0:40:12 > 0:40:14Thanks, Mum.
0:40:40 > 0:40:41At least Graves saw the funny side.
0:40:41 > 0:40:43He always sees the funny side.
0:40:43 > 0:40:45That's part of what makes him so irritating.
0:40:45 > 0:40:46If you had Maurice on your case all day,
0:40:46 > 0:40:49then you'd have something to complain about.
0:40:49 > 0:40:51Is that why you told him you had other plans - Maurice -
0:40:51 > 0:40:53because he's on your case all day?
0:40:53 > 0:40:54Were you being serious about that
0:40:54 > 0:40:57or were you just saying it to get back at him?
0:40:57 > 0:41:00I didn't say anything cos I was just exploring.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03There have been a couple of approaches.
0:41:03 > 0:41:09Nothing is certain but... a research post in Manchester.
0:41:09 > 0:41:10Manchester?
0:41:10 > 0:41:12Yes, Manchester -
0:41:12 > 0:41:16a place with universities, libraries, public transport,
0:41:16 > 0:41:18Wi-Fi, phone coverage,
0:41:18 > 0:41:20and not a single member of my family,
0:41:20 > 0:41:22so what do you say?
0:41:22 > 0:41:24Fancy joining the escape committee?
0:41:24 > 0:41:26I don't think so.
0:41:26 > 0:41:27Oh...
0:41:27 > 0:41:30I was approached about a job away from here.
0:41:30 > 0:41:35- There's a trainee post not far from Manchester, as it turns out.- Really?
0:41:35 > 0:41:36This is perfect, isn't it?
0:41:36 > 0:41:40Well, it would be, except I said no.
0:41:40 > 0:41:41I don't believe you.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43I think...
0:41:44 > 0:41:46We've just started to get happy here.
0:41:46 > 0:41:49Next you'll be telling me you like my family(!)
0:41:49 > 0:41:53Well, not "like" exactly, but I do kind of see the point of you all.
0:41:53 > 0:41:56Come on. We can be happy somewhere else, can't we?
0:41:56 > 0:41:58I don't know that.
0:41:58 > 0:42:00Neither do you.
0:42:00 > 0:42:04Our marriage is so shit, it can only work somewhere we both hate?
0:42:04 > 0:42:07I'm starting to like it here,
0:42:07 > 0:42:09and...
0:42:09 > 0:42:12I understand you here.
0:42:14 > 0:42:18You might not like to think it suits you here, but it does.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20I love you here.
0:42:20 > 0:42:23Jesus, I never thought I'd have a love that spans continents,
0:42:23 > 0:42:25but I was hoping for more than a two-mile radius.
0:42:25 > 0:42:27DOORBELL RINGS
0:42:28 > 0:42:31DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN
0:42:33 > 0:42:35Erm, is Nicola in?
0:42:40 > 0:42:42You didn't have to buy these.
0:42:42 > 0:42:45I quite understood why you did what you did.
0:42:45 > 0:42:48I just got you into trouble. I nearly got you the sack.
0:42:48 > 0:42:53Well, you didn't, and I wasn't sacked,
0:42:53 > 0:42:55but these are nice.
0:42:55 > 0:42:58It's a bit of a goodbye present, as well.
0:42:58 > 0:43:00What do you mean?
0:43:00 > 0:43:01I've got a reading week,
0:43:01 > 0:43:03so I thought I'd go and stay with my dad for a bit.
0:43:03 > 0:43:06You know, Stuart, my other dad.
0:43:06 > 0:43:09Why does everyone want to leave all of a sudden?
0:43:09 > 0:43:11I could start taking it personally(!)
0:43:11 > 0:43:15Well, I get to see my new sister, and I get a change,
0:43:15 > 0:43:18and I can leave Mum and Dad to sort all of this Joe stuff out.
0:43:18 > 0:43:20Oh, well, I don't think that's a good idea.
0:43:20 > 0:43:21Oh.
0:43:21 > 0:43:25I don't think running away is the best way to solve problems.
0:43:25 > 0:43:28I used to do it and it didn't end well.
0:43:28 > 0:43:32Well, the only thing keeping me here right now is you and Eddie.
0:43:32 > 0:43:35Well, we're not going anywhere. Don't worry about that.
0:43:44 > 0:43:45Johnny!
0:43:45 > 0:43:48You missed a cracking bit of food at Paul's tasting menu.
0:43:48 > 0:43:53Is that why you wanted to come for a drink - to tell me that?
0:43:53 > 0:43:55No, it isn't. I've...
0:43:55 > 0:44:00I wanted to say sorry about going off at you like that...
0:44:00 > 0:44:02and saying what I said.
0:44:02 > 0:44:03It's not like you to apologise.
0:44:03 > 0:44:05No, it isn't, so don't milk it.
0:44:05 > 0:44:07Maybe if you sang it, it would mean more(!)
0:44:07 > 0:44:09Eddie, you're my son, and I love you,
0:44:09 > 0:44:13but you'd always be in the medals at the Twat Olympics.
0:44:13 > 0:44:14That's more like it.
0:44:14 > 0:44:17Just out of interest, when you were at school and you chose yoga
0:44:17 > 0:44:20over football, was that for real or was that just to wind me up?
0:44:20 > 0:44:21It's OK, Dad.
0:44:21 > 0:44:23Apology accepted.
0:44:25 > 0:44:28And you were right about the brewery.
0:44:28 > 0:44:31- It hasn't worked. - No, I was wrong to say what I said.
0:44:31 > 0:44:34You're doing a good job and, the truth is,
0:44:34 > 0:44:37it kills me, to be honest.
0:44:37 > 0:44:40A son, good at something, causes father pain?
0:44:40 > 0:44:42Could we just have a minute's silence to think about that?
0:44:42 > 0:44:45I had thought I was the only one who could do it.
0:44:45 > 0:44:47You know, I built the place, and I thought I was...
0:44:47 > 0:44:50well, not exactly Donald Trump, but Willy Wonka, at least.
0:44:50 > 0:44:54Dad, you loved that brewery and you gave it up too early -
0:44:54 > 0:44:55we both know that.
0:44:55 > 0:44:58You get the brewery back. How's about that?
0:44:58 > 0:45:00I don't want it back. I want to be your partner.
0:45:00 > 0:45:02Proper partners.
0:45:02 > 0:45:04- We could work together. - Work together?
0:45:04 > 0:45:06Are you insane? We can't do a crossword together
0:45:06 > 0:45:08without the United Nations on speed dial.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11Just think about it until you decide I'm right.
0:45:12 > 0:45:14HE SIGHS
0:45:14 > 0:45:16This is good, isn't it?
0:45:16 > 0:45:19A father and son having a drink.
0:45:20 > 0:45:23When was the last time we did this?
0:45:23 > 0:45:261999.
0:45:26 > 0:45:28- We argued about the Millennium Dome. - Oh, yeah.
0:45:28 > 0:45:30I was right about that, and all.
0:45:32 > 0:45:35You retired too early and for all the wrong reasons.
0:45:37 > 0:45:39Take the brewery back.
0:45:39 > 0:45:42I'm done here, I promise you.
0:46:04 > 0:46:05Bye, Maya.
0:46:05 > 0:46:08Bye, Rebecca. I will always remember your Antigone.
0:46:08 > 0:46:10Do your studies well and Facebook me.
0:46:10 > 0:46:13Always.
0:46:13 > 0:46:14Thank you.
0:46:14 > 0:46:16Thanks for everything.
0:46:17 > 0:46:19Don't forget us,
0:46:19 > 0:46:22and thank you so much for everything you've done.
0:46:22 > 0:46:24I mean it, really. Thank you so much.
0:46:24 > 0:46:27Thank you.
0:46:27 > 0:46:28Joe...
0:46:30 > 0:46:32- It's OK.- No. No, no, no.
0:46:32 > 0:46:34Joe, are you going to say goodbye to Maya, now?
0:46:34 > 0:46:36Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!
0:46:42 > 0:46:43Hey.
0:46:44 > 0:46:46(Hey.)
0:46:57 > 0:47:01MUSIC: Ace Of Spades by Motorhead
0:47:04 > 0:47:07JOE AND MAYA SING ALONG # If you like to gamble I tell you I'm your man
0:47:07 > 0:47:11# You win some, lose some It's all the same to me
0:47:18 > 0:47:19# The pleasure is to play
0:47:19 > 0:47:22# Makes no difference what you say
0:47:25 > 0:47:26# I don't share your greed
0:47:26 > 0:47:28# The only card I need is
0:47:28 > 0:47:31# The Ace of Spades The Ace of Spades
0:47:34 > 0:47:37JOE STOPS AND STARTS MUSIC # Playing for the high... The high
0:47:37 > 0:47:38# One...
0:47:38 > 0:47:39# The Ace of... #
0:48:25 > 0:48:28Heavy metal. She's been teaching him heavy metal.
0:48:28 > 0:48:31If I'd have known that, I'd have had her deported sooner(!)
0:48:46 > 0:48:49ENGINE HUMS
0:48:49 > 0:48:51- Bye, Maya.- Safe journey.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53- Be safe. - CAR HORN
0:49:08 > 0:49:10DOOR CLOSES
0:49:12 > 0:49:16Well, there you are.
0:49:16 > 0:49:18A bit of Lemmy was all that it took, eh?
0:49:18 > 0:49:20HE CHUCKLES
0:49:20 > 0:49:23We all want to save our children from being hurt, Paul,
0:49:23 > 0:49:25but it's not how the world is.
0:49:25 > 0:49:28Well, he's going to get more than enough hurt in his life, love.
0:49:28 > 0:49:31Yeah, and he needs to be able to handle it.
0:49:31 > 0:49:34What worries you?
0:49:34 > 0:49:35Hmm?
0:49:35 > 0:49:36That he can't express his feelings
0:49:36 > 0:49:39or that he hasn't got the feelings in the first place?
0:49:39 > 0:49:40I think he has feelings, Paul.
0:49:40 > 0:49:43- Yeah, of course, look, no... - I think he feels so much
0:49:43 > 0:49:47and so deeply that he has to save himself from drowning in them,
0:49:47 > 0:49:48and I think that's why he shuts down
0:49:48 > 0:49:51and that's exactly what we can't let him do.
0:49:54 > 0:49:57Why not? What if that is what he needs in order to survive?
0:49:57 > 0:50:00Because the more he hides his feelings,
0:50:00 > 0:50:02the further away he gets from us.
0:50:14 > 0:50:15Oh...
0:50:42 > 0:50:44Rebecca!
0:50:44 > 0:50:46Can I see you for a minute, please?
0:50:52 > 0:50:53What is it?
0:50:53 > 0:50:56Just take a seat here for me, will you, love? There you go.
0:50:58 > 0:50:59OK, erm...
0:51:01 > 0:51:04Listen, you've got a sex life. I know that, and it's...
0:51:04 > 0:51:07it's fine, and I don't need to know the details, but...
0:51:14 > 0:51:16That isn't...that isn't mine.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19Well, I'm not going to need the morning-after pill, am I?
0:51:19 > 0:51:22Dad, it really isn't, I would never not take precautions.
0:51:22 > 0:51:24Is this what this is all about?
0:51:24 > 0:51:26Threatening Luke with medical records?
0:51:26 > 0:51:27Does he know about this?
0:51:27 > 0:51:29It isn't mine.
0:51:29 > 0:51:32Look, I don't know what Stuart has been filling your head with
0:51:32 > 0:51:36about being a free spirit and all of that, but this is real life,
0:51:36 > 0:51:39and I don't want your real life to be ruined by some half-baked ideas
0:51:39 > 0:51:41that he has put into your head
0:51:41 > 0:51:44- about having lots of babies and having a family.- Dad, it isn't mine!
0:51:44 > 0:51:45Don't lie to me, love!
0:51:47 > 0:51:49HE SIGHS
0:51:49 > 0:51:52Don't lie to me. OK, this is not going to get us anywhere.
0:51:52 > 0:51:55Then don't accuse me of something that I haven't done!
0:51:55 > 0:51:57Hey, hey, hey, hey, what's going on?
0:51:57 > 0:51:59Ask him.
0:51:59 > 0:52:00Look at that.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04The morning-after pill.
0:52:04 > 0:52:06The morning-after pill - I found it in the bin.
0:52:06 > 0:52:10- Mmm-hmm.- Now, look, she's going to have to talk to one of us.
0:52:10 > 0:52:12It doesn't matter if it's me or if it's you, but she is going to
0:52:12 > 0:52:15- have to talk to one of us. - OK. It's not hers, it's mine.
0:52:15 > 0:52:18Don't cover for her, Alison, OK? This is...
0:52:18 > 0:52:19- Bex, go upstairs, darling.- Eh?
0:52:19 > 0:52:22Look, we've got to be honest. This is important.
0:52:22 > 0:52:25- Rebecca!- Hey! It's mine.
0:52:27 > 0:52:28I took it. It's mine.
0:52:35 > 0:52:37MUSIC: Leave Right Now by Will Young
0:52:37 > 0:52:39# And I'd love to say I do
0:52:39 > 0:52:42# Give everything to you
0:52:42 > 0:52:44# But I can never now be true... #
0:52:44 > 0:52:46REBECCA SOBS QUIETLY
0:52:46 > 0:52:47# So I say
0:52:47 > 0:52:50# I think I'd better leave right now
0:52:50 > 0:52:53# Before I fall any deeper
0:52:53 > 0:52:56# I think I'd better leave right now... #
0:52:56 > 0:52:58Why would you do that?
0:52:59 > 0:53:01Because it's not the right time.
0:53:01 > 0:53:03I haven't got the energy for another pregnancy,
0:53:03 > 0:53:06- let alone another baby, not right now.- Why didn't you say anything?
0:53:06 > 0:53:09- Why did you do it behind my back? - Because you were all excited.
0:53:09 > 0:53:11So was I, for a bit, but then I just
0:53:11 > 0:53:14thought about the reality and it...
0:53:14 > 0:53:17- I just didn't have the strength to fight you about it.- I get that.
0:53:17 > 0:53:19I do.
0:53:19 > 0:53:22I get it. The time is right for me and it's not for you.
0:53:22 > 0:53:23I get that.
0:53:23 > 0:53:24Yeah.
0:53:26 > 0:53:30- I mean, there will be another time, right?- I hope so, yeah.
0:53:34 > 0:53:37Is it because you're scared that, you know,
0:53:37 > 0:53:39the baby will turn out like Joe?
0:53:39 > 0:53:43It's part of it, I think. Aren't you?
0:53:43 > 0:53:44Erm...
0:53:45 > 0:53:48I want two children.
0:53:48 > 0:53:50We've got two children.
0:53:53 > 0:53:55HE SIGHS
0:53:59 > 0:54:01I want a normal child, Alison.
0:54:01 > 0:54:04I want to father a normal child, so, there, I've said it.
0:54:10 > 0:54:11You have, indeed, yeah.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14Hey. Well, if I can't say that to you, then who can I say that to?
0:54:14 > 0:54:16- Oh.- God, you're meant to be
0:54:16 > 0:54:17the one person in the world that
0:54:17 > 0:54:20- I can say stuff like that to. - Do you know? I'm exhausted.
0:54:20 > 0:54:25I'm exhausted. Now, every day, every minute, I am sinking already.
0:54:25 > 0:54:27Look how hard we had to fight for Maya.
0:54:27 > 0:54:29Look at how we fell out over it.
0:54:29 > 0:54:31One tiny thing goes wrong for Joe,
0:54:31 > 0:54:33and it takes all the strength we have.
0:54:33 > 0:54:35- To try and support another baby... - Maybe that's the problem.
0:54:35 > 0:54:41We've got all this energy and we've only got Joe to focus on.
0:54:41 > 0:54:43So, what, I should have another child as light relief from Joe?
0:54:43 > 0:54:46No, I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that...
0:54:46 > 0:54:50Look, if we overthink it, then there will never be a right time.
0:54:50 > 0:54:52Will there?
0:54:54 > 0:54:57SHE EXHALES
0:54:58 > 0:55:00There won't, will there?
0:55:05 > 0:55:07No.
0:55:07 > 0:55:09HE SIGHS
0:55:12 > 0:55:14No, maybe there won't. I don't...
0:55:14 > 0:55:17There will never be a right time because I don't want another child.
0:55:17 > 0:55:19- It's as simple as that and...- Oh.
0:55:21 > 0:55:22Except, I do.
0:55:22 > 0:55:25Yes, but we have Joe, and he's different -
0:55:25 > 0:55:28- there's no point in pretending otherwise.- So...
0:55:28 > 0:55:32So he makes everything different for us. Everything.
0:55:32 > 0:55:33Right.
0:55:36 > 0:55:39He's your son, Alison, he's not your fucking alibi.
0:55:42 > 0:55:43Hey.
0:55:45 > 0:55:47DOOR OPENS
0:55:47 > 0:55:49DOOR CLOSES
0:55:49 > 0:55:51SHE EXHALES
0:55:51 > 0:55:54RAIN SPLASHES
0:56:02 > 0:56:05HE SIGHS
0:56:20 > 0:56:23You and me are in the middle of 30 shades of crap right now,
0:56:23 > 0:56:25and I hurt you. You hurt me.
0:56:25 > 0:56:26I wouldn't mind knocking about with you.
0:56:26 > 0:56:29Maurice, when was the last time you asked a woman out?
0:56:29 > 0:56:31You're always on the outside, commenting on our marriage.
0:56:31 > 0:56:33It never feels like you're actually inside it.
0:56:33 > 0:56:35- Which way did he go? - He went outside.
0:56:35 > 0:56:37I know he went outside. Where did Joe go?!
0:56:37 > 0:56:39Don't you dare talk to my son like that. Get out!
0:56:39 > 0:56:41Maurice, you can't go shooting off up the hill on your own.
0:56:41 > 0:56:44- I lost him. I'll find him. - We'll find him.
0:56:44 > 0:56:46Joe!