0:00:09 > 0:00:11# I was tired of being upset
0:00:11 > 0:00:13# Always wanting something I never could get
0:00:13 > 0:00:15# Life's an illusion, love is a dream
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# But I don't know what it is
0:00:17 > 0:00:22# Everybody's happy nowadays
0:00:26 > 0:00:32# Everybody's happy nowadays... #
0:00:36 > 0:00:37BELL DINGS
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Food for table three.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47There you go, a cappuccino.
0:00:49 > 0:00:50PHONE RINGS
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Hello?
0:00:54 > 0:00:56# Life's an illusion, love is the dream
0:00:56 > 0:00:58# Life's the illusion, love is the dream
0:00:58 > 0:01:01# Life's the illusion, love is the dream... #
0:01:04 > 0:01:05Stay back.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08I went up the ladder, but he started moving around
0:01:08 > 0:01:10so we're keeping it calm and low-key.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Calm and low-key? It's not a hostage negotiation.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14What are his demands?
0:01:14 > 0:01:17A pizza and helicopter to Alton Towers? I'm here now.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18Fun time's over.
0:01:18 > 0:01:19We've rung his mum and dad.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Look, we don't want to alarm him in case he falls.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24I've got it. Calm and low-key.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28Joe! Joe! Ground Control to Major Tom. Get down here now!
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Not so close to the edge, Joe.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35Hey! Joke's over, son. Now get down!
0:01:35 > 0:01:37I'm counting to three and you're coming down. One. Two...
0:01:40 > 0:01:41..three.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Has anybody got a big net and a bag of crisps?
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Why didn't you keep your eye on him?
0:01:49 > 0:01:50I thought it was your job.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52I'm his Learning Support. I'm not with him every minute of the day.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Well, who was, then? Buzz Lightyear? Now, come on, Joe!
0:01:55 > 0:01:56That's enough! Down! Down!
0:01:59 > 0:02:02All right, call off the Swat team. Batman and Robin have arrived.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Mr Joe's Dad! It's Joe!
0:02:04 > 0:02:06It's Joe! He's doing a Joe!
0:02:06 > 0:02:08I can see. Thanks, Ramesh.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Special needs is all well and good.
0:02:12 > 0:02:13That's enough, Mr Elliot.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Well, this is a thing, little man.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Everybody's Happy Nowadays. Buzzcocks. 1979.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25- Written by?- Come down now, Joe.
0:02:25 > 0:02:30Everybody's Happy Nowadays. Buzzcocks. 1979. Written by?
0:02:30 > 0:02:33- Come down and I'll tell you. - Written by?
0:02:33 > 0:02:37- No. That's not what happens. - What happens?
0:02:37 > 0:02:42What happens is you come down and I'll tell you.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Is Baby Emily here?
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Baby Emily is waiting in the playground.
0:02:51 > 0:02:56Everybody's Happy Nowadays. Buzzcocks. 1979. Written by?
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Hey? How did he get hold of your ladders?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29I were getting a football off the roof.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Not, strictly speaking, part of my job description,
0:03:32 > 0:03:33but that's by the by.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35You couldn't stop him? A seven-year-old?
0:03:35 > 0:03:36I didn't see him.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39And even if I had, I couldn't've, you know, physically stopped him.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Well, not without filling out a form in triplicate.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Pete Shelley.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Well done.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05Sorry, folks, sorry.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07As long as he's safe and sound.
0:04:07 > 0:04:08Yeah. Don't worry about it.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11I'm sure you'd rather he was sitting on the roof than
0:04:11 > 0:04:14hitting his head on his desk, hey? You're brilliant at handling it.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16I... I can't think how it must be for you.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18I've explained to my two that he's different so they're fine
0:04:18 > 0:04:21with it, but maybe not all the other kids are, you know?
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Yeah, thanks, Linda, but, erm, thanks again and sorry, folks.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25We'll sort it.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Mr Joe's Grandad? Is Joe really in trouble?
0:04:28 > 0:04:29I doubt it, son.
0:04:29 > 0:04:30They'll probably give him
0:04:30 > 0:04:32a government grant for performing arts.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Grab hold...grab hold of that.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Did anything happen at school today, Joe, that made you sad?
0:04:45 > 0:04:50- Or upset?- Let me see now.
0:04:50 > 0:04:55Why did you go up there, Joe? Were you missing Terry this afternoon?
0:04:55 > 0:04:58I was missing Terry this afternoon.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Was it your school work? Something too hard for you?
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Was it my school work?
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Joe.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Has someone been bullying you, Joe? Cos I tell you what,
0:05:08 > 0:05:10if a lad gives you a dig, you give 'em a dig back.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12- But ten times harder. - Thanks, Maurice.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14OK. Let's try this.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16You went on the roof because...
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Because.
0:05:19 > 0:05:20- Joe?- Because...
0:05:22 > 0:05:23I'm autistic.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32I'm autistic. I'm autistic. I'm autistic. Nobody wants that.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Told you it was bullying.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Maurice. Go and tell Louise that
0:05:43 > 0:05:45he won't be coming for his uke lesson today.
0:05:45 > 0:05:46Can't you phone her?
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Look, we owe her two weeks money and he needs his music for next week.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50Go on.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58- Hi.- Hiya.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Hello, Emily. I hope you've had a nice day with Alison.
0:06:02 > 0:06:03It's all in the book, OK?
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Oh, OK, quick, thank you!
0:06:05 > 0:06:06Pleasure.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Now, then, young lady...
0:06:15 > 0:06:19Right, then, it's Wednesday, so it's pasta with tomato sauce,
0:06:19 > 0:06:20and banana for afters.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21Nicola.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25Oh, shit!
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Well, this is a surprise.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31And you know I don't like surprises.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Well, we came to see you! Didn't we?
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Yes, we did!
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Hasn't she grown? And a lovely smile.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Ye... Yeah, though I think her increasingly organised limb
0:06:41 > 0:06:44movements are more remarkable than a smile which has been around
0:06:44 > 0:06:47since she was six weeks and socially reinforced ever since.
0:06:49 > 0:06:50Where's Eddie?
0:06:50 > 0:06:54Eddie? Ah, what, what do you mean, where's Eddie?
0:06:54 > 0:06:58He's at work, of course. Eddie, Eddie's at work. Why?
0:06:59 > 0:07:03We just like to see both of you together, that's all.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04Are you all right?
0:07:04 > 0:07:09Like I said, I don't like surprises. And neither does Eddie.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16PHONE RINGS
0:07:26 > 0:07:31Eddie. Erm, there's a problem. You need to get here.
0:07:31 > 0:07:32Right now.
0:07:37 > 0:07:38Joe?
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Joe. You know that word you said? Autistic? Do you remember?
0:07:52 > 0:07:53Whole Wide World.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Wreckless Eric. 1977.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00You know how you find some things a bit more difficult
0:08:00 > 0:08:01than the other kids?
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Let me see now...
0:08:08 > 0:08:10No. Hong Kong Garden.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Siouxsie And The Banshees. 1978.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17So today, when you went up on the roof, what did you go up there for?
0:08:17 > 0:08:18Can you remember?
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Did somebody say something to you, Joe?
0:08:29 > 0:08:31The Haribos.
0:08:31 > 0:08:32What about the Haribos?
0:08:33 > 0:08:37- What about the Haribos? - You didn't find them, did you?
0:08:37 > 0:08:41- No.- Where didn't you find them?
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Under the sink.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46And where didn't you eat them?
0:08:47 > 0:08:48Under my bed.
0:08:48 > 0:08:54Right! OK. Right.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Is it me or did he just do a number on us?
0:08:57 > 0:08:59I thought you were going to ask him what he thinks autistic means.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Well, I thought you were.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03He clearly doesn't want to talk about it, does he?
0:09:03 > 0:09:05No. Because he thinks it's bad. Or wrong.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07No, we don't know that.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Well, why else would he say, "Nobody wants that"?
0:09:10 > 0:09:12There's got to be something on the internet about this!
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Or we could talk to actual human beings that have been through
0:09:15 > 0:09:16the same thing.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19Please not the Parents Support Group.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22How can you say that when you've never been?
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Three little words. "Parents", "Support" and "Group."
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Three more. "Narrow", "Minded" and "Twat".
0:09:28 > 0:09:30It's like I've never been away.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Ah, there she is! Oh, you're back.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Ah, look at ya. My baby!
0:09:38 > 0:09:40All right?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44It's James.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45Alison.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Oh, I think we met on Facetime once.
0:09:47 > 0:09:48Was that Uganda?
0:09:48 > 0:09:52You were moving around in the background in a very small towel. I don't remember the country.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57DOOR OPENS
0:09:59 > 0:10:00Guess who's here?
0:10:02 > 0:10:03Shrek.
0:10:03 > 0:10:04Not this time.
0:10:07 > 0:10:08Hello you.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14You went away and you came back.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15That's right!
0:10:15 > 0:10:17I've been back all the time.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19That's right.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Something Better Change.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26The Stranglers. 1977.
0:10:26 > 0:10:27Correct.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Joe won't be here today and they wanted you to have this.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Thank you. He's not still on the school roof, is he?
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Ralph mentioned it.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45- No. No.- Wait there. I've got next week's music for him.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Hiya.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54- Tricky chord change from G to F. - G to F, you're saying. G to F.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55Yes.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00You all right. You keeping busy?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Yes, thank you.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06Just children you're teaching now, is it? No adults? No men?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Or women? At all?
0:11:09 > 0:11:13No. Not at the moment. But, er, thanks for the interest.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18CAR APPROACHES
0:11:18 > 0:11:19CAR HORN BLARES
0:11:23 > 0:11:24That was so close.
0:11:27 > 0:11:28So close.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30You can give me a lift to the brewery.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Have a look at that computer shit. You put it in wrong.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Dad, it's you. Not the program.
0:11:35 > 0:11:36And I can't. Nicola needs me.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Light bulb need changing, does it?
0:12:05 > 0:12:10So... Uganda. That must've been quite an experience.
0:12:10 > 0:12:16Yeah. Before that, worked on a conservation project in Zanzibar.
0:12:16 > 0:12:20- Wow. - Freeing dolphins from tuna nets.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21Really?
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Really?
0:12:27 > 0:12:30- That's fascinating. - You into conservation?
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Yeah, yeah. I do my bit.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38I can't pass a worm on a path without putting it
0:12:38 > 0:12:39in the nearest flowerbed.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41PAUL CHUCKLES
0:12:59 > 0:13:03Hiya, Eddie, we were wondering when you'd be back. Vincent!
0:13:03 > 0:13:06- How was the drive? - Very, very fast.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08- Just keep pretending. - I am pretending.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Pretend you're still married? What would I do that for?
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Because I asked? And because everyone else has agreed
0:13:16 > 0:13:17to go along with it.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20But mainly because Nicola says so and she's got your cock in a noose.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23She just hasn't told her mum and dad yet that we've split up and I've moved away.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26It's been two years! We should have christened you Soft Touch and had done with it.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Dad, just behave yourself.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31I'm not making any promises. Unlike you two on your wedding day.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37Right.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40OK, he's started using the word autistic.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43And we should have been ready for that, but we weren't.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46And worse than that, he clearly thinks it's a bad thing.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50We tried to talking to him about it, he doesn't want to, so I just, I don't really know what we do next.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Well, maybe try talking to each other about it first.
0:13:53 > 0:13:54That's all we ever do.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56No, I mean, one of you pretend to be Joe,
0:13:56 > 0:13:59and then the other explain it to Joe so Joe understands.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01- OK, like role play?- Yeah.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04Paul. Two more beers down this end when you're ready.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Any chance your family could role play as paying customers?
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Who would have thought that offal could find its way into a salad?
0:14:10 > 0:14:11This is wonderful.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13You must know more than anybody in your line of work
0:14:13 > 0:14:16that marriages have their ups and downs, right?
0:14:16 > 0:14:19It's a long and winding road, that's for sure.
0:14:19 > 0:14:20Amen to that.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Where's Emily? There she is.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36Always full of beans. Lining things up. Our Eddie was the same.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39'Cept in his case it was his mam's shoes, so,
0:14:39 > 0:14:40we've all got our crosses to bear.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42No offence.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44None taken.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49So let me get this right,
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Joe's the only one who doesn't know he's autistic?
0:14:51 > 0:14:55It's a little bit more complicated than that.
0:14:55 > 0:14:56So it's, like, what, a secret?
0:14:56 > 0:14:59No, no, it's not a secret, exactly.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01If you were keeping it a secret,
0:15:01 > 0:15:04maybe that's why he thinks it's a bad thing.
0:15:04 > 0:15:05Told you he's smart, didn't I?
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Way smarter than your last boyfriend.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10It's not exactly a high bar, though, James.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13- VINCENT:- You don't get to win Hanwell Lads Welterweight three times on the trot
0:15:13 > 0:15:14without some staying power.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17- MAURICE:- Oh, you boxed, did ya? I didn't know that.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Do you like having a baby cousin, Joe?
0:15:26 > 0:15:27Joe.
0:15:32 > 0:15:33Do you like Baby Emily?
0:15:33 > 0:15:36I like Baby Emily.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38It's good practice for when you have a baby sister
0:15:38 > 0:15:40or brother of your own one day.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45We don't want another baby. We have enough with me.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Oh, I see.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Well, we like a man who speaks his mind, hey, Vincent?
0:15:57 > 0:15:59- Well done, Joe! - THEY CLAP
0:16:04 > 0:16:06What if James has got a point?
0:16:06 > 0:16:07About what?
0:16:07 > 0:16:12That, that we're cowards, for not talking to Joe about his autism.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Are you sure that's what he said?
0:16:14 > 0:16:15He didn't have to.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18I think he might be right.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23What was it Nicola said we should do again?
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Try talking to each other the way we would talk to Joe if he could understand.
0:16:28 > 0:16:34All right, well, you'd better start, then. I'll join in at the chorus.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39So, Joe, you know that word you used?
0:16:41 > 0:16:42BED SQUEAKS IN NEXT ROOM
0:16:44 > 0:16:45SQUEAKING CONTINUES
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Is that what I think it is?
0:16:49 > 0:16:53Yep. But I'm afraid to say it out loud.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57We should have got her that futon she wanted.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06SQUEAKING CONTINUES
0:17:12 > 0:17:14SQUEAKING
0:17:18 > 0:17:20AIR PUMP SQUEAKS
0:17:20 > 0:17:22She went straight off.
0:17:25 > 0:17:26Good as gold.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37- This is mad.- I realise it's a difficult situation,
0:17:37 > 0:17:40but I think now the subterfuge has begun,
0:17:40 > 0:17:43it'd be even worse if we told them the truth.
0:17:43 > 0:17:44So I have to cancel t'ai chi
0:17:44 > 0:17:48and then humiliate myself to save you from feelings of embarrassment?
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Thank you for understanding.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Strange, isn't it?
0:17:56 > 0:17:58You have seen me undress a thousand times
0:17:58 > 0:18:01and I have seen you undress a thousand times.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03But this feels uncomfortable
0:18:03 > 0:18:06because a previous intimacy has now been abandoned.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Just so we're clear.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11You saying "undress" over and over really isn't helping much.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15You have watched me defecate whilst giving birth.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17I pretty much think we have nothing left to hide.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20I saw you defecate. I didn't watch.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22There's a crucial difference.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Have to give you bigger portions next time.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40At the gastropub.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Still got an appetite?
0:18:43 > 0:18:45For food. I meant.
0:18:45 > 0:18:46No, just, erm, just thirsty.
0:18:48 > 0:18:49- I'll bet.- Hm?
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Help yourself.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54You don't have, erm, any energy drinks
0:18:54 > 0:18:57- or anything like that, do you?- No energy drinks, no.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Plenty of milk, though.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Make yourself a Horlicks, if you like.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Although you might want to put some clothes on before you do.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Hot milk and bell ends are an accident waiting to happen.
0:19:31 > 0:19:32HE BREATHES HARD
0:19:37 > 0:19:41Anyone I know? What are you doing? It's two o'clock in the morning.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42Nervous tension.
0:19:45 > 0:19:50- He's got a tattoo with Becky's name on it.- Is it spelt right?
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Don't think he's got much of a sense of humour.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Cos he doesn't laugh at your jokes?
0:20:12 > 0:20:14No further questions, your honour.
0:20:14 > 0:20:15SHE LAUGHS
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Sorry. You don't mind, do you?
0:20:33 > 0:20:37No. Of Course not. Course not.
0:20:49 > 0:20:50Are you awake?
0:20:51 > 0:20:52Yeah.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59When you said "autistic", Joe,
0:20:59 > 0:21:02what do you think that word means?
0:21:04 > 0:21:06What do you think it means?
0:21:06 > 0:21:09- Come on, Paul. Stop dicking around. - I'm not.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12I'm not, because that is what he's going to say, isn't it?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14- Because he doesn't know what it means.- OK.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Neither does anybody.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18OK. I'm sorry. Fair enough. Fair enough.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24Can you just, say what, what you think he might say.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Er...
0:21:34 > 0:21:36I don't know what it means.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40But people keep using it about me.
0:21:40 > 0:21:47So I think it's got something to do with me and it might mean
0:21:47 > 0:21:49that I don't play football like the other boys...
0:21:52 > 0:21:56..and I go and play my music any time I can,
0:21:56 > 0:21:59and I like remembering songs and...and bands.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07And sometimes you get annoyed with me
0:22:07 > 0:22:11and you talk through your teeth and you say "I'm fine" -
0:22:11 > 0:22:13and that's how I know that you're annoyed with me.
0:22:17 > 0:22:18And you love me.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21And you think I'm the best boy in the world.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27And it's just a word.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34It's just a word and I'm going to have to get used to it.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Is there anything that you want to ask me now?
0:22:43 > 0:22:46What do you think it means? Me being autistic.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48He'd never ask that.
0:22:48 > 0:22:49No, I know.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57What do you see when you see me, huh? Mum?
0:23:03 > 0:23:04I see a puzzle that I love.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09A boy I thought was one thing and turned out to be another.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16And I see a boy that sometimes has difficulties
0:23:16 > 0:23:18making himself understood.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Half in and half out of the world.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28We all have secrets and...
0:23:28 > 0:23:31and hidden feelings, but yours are buried deeper, maybe.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37And I see a boy who we might look after all our lives.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44A boy that's loved, but might never find love with anybody else.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46And that's... Sometimes that's hard for your mum and dad.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52And maybe sometimes that makes it hard for you because...
0:23:52 > 0:23:53sometimes you can see that in us...
0:23:56 > 0:23:57..the panic.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11MUSIC: Brassneck by The Wedding Present
0:24:20 > 0:24:21# No, I sent you that letter
0:24:21 > 0:24:24# To ask you if the end was worth the means
0:24:24 > 0:24:27# Was there really no in-between?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32# And I still don't feel better
0:24:32 > 0:24:35# I just wondered if it could be like before
0:24:35 > 0:24:38# And I think you just made me sure
0:24:39 > 0:24:41# But that's typically you
0:24:41 > 0:24:43# And I might have been a bit rude
0:24:43 > 0:24:46# But I wrote it in a bad mood
0:24:49 > 0:24:51# I'm not being funny with you
0:24:51 > 0:24:53# But it's hard to be engaging
0:24:53 > 0:24:56# When the things you love keep changing
0:25:02 > 0:25:03# Brassneck!
0:25:07 > 0:25:08# Brassneck!
0:25:10 > 0:25:14# I just decided I don't trust you any more
0:25:14 > 0:25:18# I just decided I don't trust you any more... #
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Vardy. Leicester City.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Vardy. Leicester City.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Rashford. Manchester United.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37Rashford. Manchester United.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Who's your favourite player?
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Sorry to interrupt, guys, I just need to get to the kettle.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48- Sorry. - What do you think, Joe?
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Manchester United.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53No, no, no, no, no. That's your favourite team.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Marcus Rashford is your favourite player.
0:25:55 > 0:25:59Right, go and get your stuff and I'll test you again on the way.
0:26:00 > 0:26:04You said it. Last night. The panic he feels in us.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06He worries that he doesn't fit in.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08And this might be a way that he can.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11He doesn't like football.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14It doesn't matter. Football cards. Dates. Stats.
0:26:14 > 0:26:15It plays to his strengths.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17It's all the other lads talk about.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19It's got to be worth a try, hasn't it?
0:26:19 > 0:26:21I thought we were trying to work out how to talk to him.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24We are. And we will. But this is something we can do right now.
0:26:28 > 0:26:29Arms up!
0:26:31 > 0:26:32Favourite player?
0:26:33 > 0:26:34Marcus Rashford.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Stewed apple for pudding. No more sweet things.
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Her or me?
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Both!
0:26:44 > 0:26:49According to my thermometer, Emily should be having her breakfast.
0:26:52 > 0:26:53This is ridiculous.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Really? I think it suits you.
0:26:55 > 0:26:56We are adults.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59And I know your reasons for lying to your mum and dad...
0:26:59 > 0:27:00For not telling them the truth.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Shall we just settle on misleading?
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Go on.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Well, whatever your reasons, we can't go on like this.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Not least because this one will soon be able to talk
0:27:09 > 0:27:12and when she does, she might just mention the fact that Mummy
0:27:12 > 0:27:15and Daddy live in separate houses - in separate cities.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18She might be a late talker.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21We sit down and we tell them. Now. Agreed?
0:27:26 > 0:27:29Your mother and I. We have some news for you.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33- Typical.- How did you guess?
0:27:35 > 0:27:38- Guess what?- You both smiled as though you'd guessed.
0:27:38 > 0:27:39What's the news?
0:27:39 > 0:27:42You tell us. You've clearly guessed.
0:27:42 > 0:27:43Nobody's guessed.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46The reason that Nicola was
0:27:46 > 0:27:50looking at you like that is that we have some news of our own.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52- We're splitting up. - A trial separation.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54- It's permanent.- It's mutual.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56I'm leaving him.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58There's nobody else.
0:27:58 > 0:27:59He had an affair.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03- It's amicable.- I hate him.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Right. Favourite player.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13Marcus Rashford.
0:28:13 > 0:28:14Who does he play for?
0:28:14 > 0:28:15Manchester United.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17Brilliant. Brilliant.
0:28:17 > 0:28:21So if any of the lads ask about football, that's what you say.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23All right? Top lad?
0:28:23 > 0:28:26Top lad. Hair set to handsome.
0:28:26 > 0:28:28Hair set to handsome.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30BELL RINGS
0:28:30 > 0:28:31Off you go, mucker.
0:28:56 > 0:28:58IN POLISH:
0:29:08 > 0:29:10I can see that Vincent might be a bit of a handful,
0:29:10 > 0:29:12but it's a big decision to make at their age.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14Certainly surprising.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16Has somebody thrown this?
0:29:17 > 0:29:20Big decision to make at any age come to that.
0:29:20 > 0:29:21Indeed.
0:29:21 > 0:29:25Which is why I appreciate you being supportive of my indecision over the years.
0:29:25 > 0:29:26Is that's what you call it?
0:29:26 > 0:29:28You two have had more reunions than Take That.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30- No more. - Then why lie to her mam and dad?
0:29:30 > 0:29:33Because last time she told them, they gave her so much grief.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35Wake up and smell the laundry.
0:29:35 > 0:29:38Nicola doesn't want to admit to herself that it's over.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40Dad, I have a new life in Manchester.
0:29:40 > 0:29:42New, maybe. I doubt it's a life.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46Hello, Ralph. How you doing?
0:29:46 > 0:29:48Is that job still going?
0:29:48 > 0:29:50Brewery Assistant? Yeah.
0:29:50 > 0:29:51Can I apply?
0:29:52 > 0:29:56'Course you can. 'Course you can. I'll get you the application form.
0:30:00 > 0:30:02No need to look so nervous.
0:30:02 > 0:30:04Don't worry, Ralph. He makes me nervous, too.
0:30:04 > 0:30:06Don't tell my mum about this.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09Fat chance of me having a conversation with your mum.
0:30:09 > 0:30:12All right. I won't do, not if you don't want me to.
0:30:12 > 0:30:16Has she said she don't want you working with me?
0:30:16 > 0:30:19Has she said she's got a problem with me, like?
0:30:19 > 0:30:21No. But she's not good with change.
0:30:26 > 0:30:29- What?- "Has your mum said anything about me?
0:30:29 > 0:30:31"Does she ever talk about me at all?"
0:30:31 > 0:30:32# I want you back
0:30:32 > 0:30:34- # I want you back... # - Oh, give over.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36I was looking after Ralph.
0:30:36 > 0:30:40"Perhaps you just don't want to admit to yourself that it's over."
0:30:47 > 0:30:51First one to tell me the first sound they heard this morning?
0:30:52 > 0:30:54- Maisie?- A bird singing.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57Very good. Maisie's table can go.
0:30:58 > 0:31:02What sound did you hear this morning, Joe? Can you remember?
0:31:05 > 0:31:07Ramesh?
0:31:07 > 0:31:10A car. Probably diesel because of the sound of the engine.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12Very good. Ramesh's table can go.
0:31:13 > 0:31:14Joe?
0:31:17 > 0:31:20What sound did you hear, Joe? Can you remember?
0:31:20 > 0:31:22What did you hear, Joe? Just tell Miss! Tell her.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26Can you think of anything?
0:31:29 > 0:31:31Miss! Miss!
0:31:32 > 0:31:34Was it a lamb bleating, Joe?
0:31:34 > 0:31:39"Bleating". Good word, Ella. Joe's table can go.
0:32:00 > 0:32:05I've got Theo Walcott, Robert Snodgrass and John O'Shea.
0:32:05 > 0:32:07John O'Shea? Have you got Peter Crouch?
0:32:07 > 0:32:10Yeah. My dad says he's just a beanpole.
0:32:10 > 0:32:14Joe. Joe. What've you got? Hey?
0:32:19 > 0:32:21Got any swaps?
0:32:21 > 0:32:23Let me see now.
0:32:26 > 0:32:27I don't think so.
0:32:28 > 0:32:31Who's your favourite player?
0:32:31 > 0:32:33Is it Aguero? Sterling?
0:32:33 > 0:32:35Who's your favourite player, Joe?
0:32:35 > 0:32:37Who does he play for? Chelsea? Or Spurs.
0:32:37 > 0:32:39You've got to have a favourite.
0:32:41 > 0:32:43Marty.
0:32:43 > 0:32:46Marty the Zebra. Madagascar.
0:32:49 > 0:32:50Eden Hazard.
0:32:50 > 0:32:51- I gave you that yesterday.- Didn't.
0:32:51 > 0:32:54Anyway, Harry Kane is better...
0:32:55 > 0:32:58# There she goes
0:32:58 > 0:33:02# There she goes again
0:33:02 > 0:33:07# Racing through my brain
0:33:07 > 0:33:10# And I just can't complain
0:33:10 > 0:33:14# This feeling that remains
0:33:16 > 0:33:20# There she goes
0:33:20 > 0:33:23# There she goes again
0:33:24 > 0:33:28# Pulsing through my vein... #
0:33:30 > 0:33:32Oi! Why can't you keep an eye on your ladders?
0:33:32 > 0:33:36- Don't blame me cos you can't control your own kid. - What? What did you say?
0:33:36 > 0:33:37Paul!
0:33:37 > 0:33:41- I think you and I need a word. - What were you thinking!- Joe's dad has every right to be angry.
0:33:41 > 0:33:43Oh, God, are you all right?
0:33:43 > 0:33:45Did you touch any moss up there? Or leaves?
0:33:45 > 0:33:47I'm so sorry, Sarah.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49He's never been good with heights.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51I don't know how they let Joe get up there again.
0:33:51 > 0:33:54I dare say he'll need an anti-histamine what with all
0:33:54 > 0:33:57the excitement and dust, of course, but that's not your concern.
0:33:57 > 0:33:59Ah, you're all right, aren't you, Bill?
0:33:59 > 0:34:01You're tough as old boots, eh!
0:34:01 > 0:34:05I know you mean well, Alison. He could've fallen.
0:34:05 > 0:34:07And hit his head. They both could.
0:34:07 > 0:34:11And I don't know how to say this, cos Joe is a lovely boy, but...
0:34:11 > 0:34:14- But what? - When things like this happen,
0:34:14 > 0:34:16it's always Joe that they happen to, isn't it? Really?
0:34:16 > 0:34:18I see. I didn't know you felt like that.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20No other parent would be different. Sorry.
0:34:34 > 0:34:38I know it's good up here, mate, but this has got to stop.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46Marcus Rashford, Manchester United.
0:34:58 > 0:35:00I can only apologise that this has been allowed to happen again.
0:35:00 > 0:35:04Well, at least Joe had a mate up there with him this time,
0:35:04 > 0:35:06it's kind of progress, isn't it?
0:35:06 > 0:35:07I know we like to see the light side,
0:35:07 > 0:35:10but he did set his mind on getting up there again and found a way.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12- I worry what he might do next. - Hang on.
0:35:12 > 0:35:15He isn't the only kid to have had an odd bad day.
0:35:15 > 0:35:20Well, his bad days used to be once a term, then once a week, but now they're every other day.
0:35:20 > 0:35:21I do think that some of the children get upset
0:35:21 > 0:35:24by some of Joe's behaviour, so that doesn't help him integrate.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26The children have told you that, have they?
0:35:26 > 0:35:29We've had feedback from some of the parents.
0:35:29 > 0:35:30I think I can guess which ones.
0:35:30 > 0:35:34We love Joe, we can handle Joe. The question
0:35:34 > 0:35:37is whether Joe can handle this school any more.
0:35:37 > 0:35:38I'll come in and talk to the parents.
0:35:38 > 0:35:42Reassure them that there's nothing to worry about. Paul and I are happy to do that.
0:35:42 > 0:35:43Yeah...
0:35:50 > 0:35:51What are we going to say to the parents?
0:35:51 > 0:35:52I haven't a clue.
0:35:52 > 0:35:55Which is why we're going to talk to people at the support group.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57I don't know if I can get cover tonight.
0:35:57 > 0:36:01Come on. They're just people in the same boat as us.
0:36:01 > 0:36:03People that've been through it.
0:36:03 > 0:36:05And not a Fred Perry T-shirt between them.
0:36:05 > 0:36:06What?
0:36:06 > 0:36:08It's all a bit hand-knitted and cords.
0:36:08 > 0:36:11- Are you serious?- I'm sorry, it... it's the group thing. I...
0:36:11 > 0:36:14Right, but you're perfectly happy to go to Old Trafford
0:36:14 > 0:36:17with 65,000 strangers and chant inanely for two hours.
0:36:17 > 0:36:19I'll see you there. 7.30.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33It doesn't make any sense.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37I just don't see the point of you separating at this stage of your lives.
0:36:37 > 0:36:40Because we're so close to death, you mean.
0:36:40 > 0:36:41Partly, yeah.
0:36:41 > 0:36:42CRUNCHING
0:36:44 > 0:36:47We should've broken up years ago, He's always been the same.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49So it serves me right, really.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51And, then, in the end is it better to
0:36:51 > 0:36:55struggle on in a relationship or struggle on outside a relationship?
0:36:55 > 0:36:56In the end, it's all a struggle.
0:36:56 > 0:36:59Well, you know better than anyone.
0:36:59 > 0:37:03Me? Is that why you made me cake?
0:37:03 > 0:37:05So you can tell me you think I'm struggling?
0:37:05 > 0:37:09I know it. And you hide it. Like I hide it.
0:37:10 > 0:37:12To be fair, I knew, too.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15Sorry. Sorry.
0:37:15 > 0:37:17Welcome. Welcome, one and all.
0:37:17 > 0:37:18Did you follow me?
0:37:18 > 0:37:21I just wanted to tell my daughter that I don't want this.
0:37:21 > 0:37:26- You should have thought of that before you slept with half the congregation.- Oh, Mum, please!
0:37:26 > 0:37:27- What?- This explains so much.
0:37:27 > 0:37:29And I want a word with you, Dr Graves.
0:37:29 > 0:37:33Why are you pushing my daughter all hours when she has a baby at home?
0:37:33 > 0:37:36Don't blame me. I have tried to challenge her dedication at every juncture,
0:37:36 > 0:37:38but it's almost as if she enjoys the job.
0:37:42 > 0:37:45- Tomorrow?- We said a few days. It's been a few days.
0:37:45 > 0:37:48Two days. Why are you so keen to get away?
0:37:48 > 0:37:52Look at it. And it smells of animals and rain.
0:37:52 > 0:37:54So did most of Africa.
0:37:54 > 0:37:57Africa had heat, had mystery.
0:37:57 > 0:38:00There's a nightclub in Keswick that's pretty mysterious.
0:38:00 > 0:38:04Look, all I want is for us to get back to what it was like
0:38:04 > 0:38:05when it was just us.
0:38:05 > 0:38:07You know?
0:38:10 > 0:38:14It was lovely. It is lovely.
0:38:14 > 0:38:17But, well, I've not seen any of my school mates yet
0:38:17 > 0:38:19and I've hardly spent any time with Joe.
0:38:19 > 0:38:21Joe won't mind. Will you, Joe?
0:38:25 > 0:38:26See. He doesn't mind.
0:38:26 > 0:38:27- Don't do that.- Do what?
0:38:27 > 0:38:29You were making fun of him.
0:38:29 > 0:38:30No, I wasn't.
0:38:30 > 0:38:31It felt like you were.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33Well, I wasn't.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36Not the good suitcase. Haven't you put me through enough?
0:38:36 > 0:38:39After 30 years of marriage, I think at least I deserve that!
0:38:39 > 0:38:40Mum!
0:38:42 > 0:38:44Look after yourself.
0:38:46 > 0:38:47You too.
0:38:49 > 0:38:50Your dad's a liar.
0:38:50 > 0:38:52He can't help it.
0:38:52 > 0:38:53I know.
0:39:06 > 0:39:10So, do you want me to order you your own taxi, Vincent?
0:39:10 > 0:39:12Or have you already arranged that?
0:39:12 > 0:39:15No. No. I feel I should stay here for a few days.
0:39:15 > 0:39:19- What? - Sorry, Dad. That's not convenient.
0:39:19 > 0:39:21Why? Because you and Eddie will have to pretend
0:39:21 > 0:39:24you're still together until I'm gone. Is that what's bothering you?
0:39:24 > 0:39:26I'm not stupid, Nicola.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48Thanks for this, Alison.
0:39:48 > 0:39:51My brain just goes to mush when I have to fill in a form.
0:39:51 > 0:39:53No problem. I actually enjoy it.
0:39:53 > 0:39:55I was that girl at school that used to colour code her notes.
0:39:55 > 0:39:59Really? I'd never have guessed. Bet you ironed your pants as well.
0:40:01 > 0:40:05I need to talk to Alison. You sit here with Jan.
0:40:05 > 0:40:07We have tea and biscuits. We go home on the bus.
0:40:07 > 0:40:10You need to talk to Alison. I sit here with Jan.
0:40:10 > 0:40:13We have tea and biscuits. We go home on the bus.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15Yep. Correct. All right?
0:40:15 > 0:40:16It's all right.
0:40:17 > 0:40:18OK?
0:40:18 > 0:40:20Yeah, yeah. He'll be fine now.
0:40:20 > 0:40:21Cool, OK, so...
0:40:21 > 0:40:23this one is all done, this one is all done...
0:40:30 > 0:40:33You know, when I first told our Mark he was autistic,
0:40:33 > 0:40:34he was relieved.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37He said he thought he didn't have any mates at school
0:40:37 > 0:40:38because he was ugly.
0:40:38 > 0:40:42- Oh, God.- When I told the other parents, they ran a mile.
0:40:42 > 0:40:43Now, they were ugly.
0:40:43 > 0:40:46So, do you think I shouldn't bother talking to the parents?
0:40:46 > 0:40:48I'm just not sure it's where you should be
0:40:48 > 0:40:50putting your energies right now.
0:40:50 > 0:40:51It's only if it helps Joe.
0:40:51 > 0:40:54If it helps Joe? And how's that working out?
0:40:54 > 0:40:56Cos it doesn't seem to me like the behaviour of a kid
0:40:56 > 0:40:58who's happy to be at the school he's at.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03We always said that he would go mainstream and local.
0:41:04 > 0:41:06I mean we're... We're doing all this to get your Mark
0:41:06 > 0:41:07back into mainstream.
0:41:07 > 0:41:11Because that's what Mark wants. It's what he tells us he wants.
0:41:12 > 0:41:15And he's 16. And six foot three.
0:41:18 > 0:41:20LAUGHTER
0:41:20 > 0:41:23- Sorry!- Ah!- Sorry.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25- Sophie, this is my husband, Paul. - Oh, hi!
0:41:25 > 0:41:28- Hello. How are you? All right? - Paul, this is Mark.
0:41:28 > 0:41:29Hello, Mark.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31Hello, hello.
0:41:31 > 0:41:33This is Sophie, she's your new waitress.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35What?
0:41:36 > 0:41:38You need a part-time job and Paul needs the help.
0:41:38 > 0:41:42Because, as you can see, he can't even make it to one meeting on time.
0:41:42 > 0:41:45Wow. Er, thanks. I don't know what hours I could do.
0:41:45 > 0:41:48Oh, Paul'll sort that. He's really flexible like that.
0:41:48 > 0:41:50She's a hard woman to say no to.
0:41:50 > 0:41:51Oh, I'm aware of that.
0:41:51 > 0:41:54Also, Sophie was looking for someone to drive her
0:41:54 > 0:41:57and Mark to gigs now and then so I thought you'd be up for that.
0:41:57 > 0:41:59You don't have to, if you don't want to...
0:41:59 > 0:42:01'Course he wants to. Mark's into indie.
0:42:01 > 0:42:02- Is he?- Yeah.
0:42:02 > 0:42:04What bands you into, Mark?
0:42:07 > 0:42:10I can't drive, you see, so it makes things difficult and, erm, yeah,
0:42:10 > 0:42:12Mark loves a live band.
0:42:12 > 0:42:13How's your waitressing?
0:42:13 > 0:42:15Worse than my driving.
0:42:17 > 0:42:18Thank you.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20You're welcome! So welcome. Thank you for tonight.
0:42:20 > 0:42:22Safe home!
0:42:22 > 0:42:25- Yeah, yeah. Nice to meet you.- Bye, Mark.- See you at work.- See you soon.
0:42:32 > 0:42:34It got mad at the Fellside.
0:42:35 > 0:42:38Really did, I was going to...try and get away earlier,
0:42:38 > 0:42:40- but I couldn't, I just... - No, no, you didn't try, Paul.
0:42:40 > 0:42:45You sat outside in the car for two hours. Not coming in. I saw you.
0:42:49 > 0:42:52So that's what the Sophie thing was about, was it?
0:42:52 > 0:42:54Eh, stitching me up to give her a job.
0:42:54 > 0:42:59No. No, that was about helping her out because she helped me.
0:42:59 > 0:43:01It's called supporting each other.
0:43:01 > 0:43:05It's what people do when they're all in the same boat,
0:43:05 > 0:43:07bringing up a child that's different.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09Well, I couldn't, I'm sorry.
0:43:10 > 0:43:12Is that it?
0:43:12 > 0:43:15I couldn't go in. I don't know why. I just couldn't, OK?
0:43:24 > 0:43:27OK. Let's just say that Joe understands
0:43:27 > 0:43:30what autistic means. Except that he doesn't, not really. Cos none of us do.
0:43:30 > 0:43:34But let's just say that, that he sees some other kids,
0:43:34 > 0:43:38more, you know, severely autistic than him.
0:43:38 > 0:43:41Now, does he think that that's what autistic means?
0:43:41 > 0:43:44Now, does he think that's how the world sees him?
0:43:44 > 0:43:46How we see him?
0:43:46 > 0:43:48Better that than he thinks it's a bad thing.
0:43:48 > 0:43:52Might at least give him a sense of who he is. An identity.
0:43:52 > 0:43:56Club Autistic. I bet it's got quite a waiting list.
0:43:56 > 0:43:59If it helps to give him a feeling of belonging and support, why not?
0:43:59 > 0:44:01But what about our club?
0:44:01 > 0:44:07Eh? Me and you and Joe and Rebecca? Isn't that enough?
0:44:09 > 0:44:11Not any more, no.
0:44:11 > 0:44:14Look, we thought we were doing all right, turns out we weren't.
0:44:14 > 0:44:17We need other people. We've always needed other people.
0:44:17 > 0:44:18You saw that before I did.
0:44:18 > 0:44:22I know. I just... I want to be the one with the magic touch.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27With Joe. I just... I could always handle him.
0:44:27 > 0:44:30I could always get through to him...in the end.
0:44:30 > 0:44:34And it was a struggle, but I could always do it.
0:44:34 > 0:44:36And it just... It felt better that way.
0:44:43 > 0:44:45No, that's not true, is it? Made me feel better that way.
0:44:50 > 0:44:53It's just in the last few months, I feel like I'm losing that.
0:44:55 > 0:44:57I feel like I'm losing my boy.
0:46:12 > 0:46:15So, first off, thanks, thanks to you and your kids for,
0:46:15 > 0:46:17for doing your best to understand him - or at least trying to,
0:46:17 > 0:46:21and for putting up with some of the things he does that are a bit...
0:46:23 > 0:46:25Well, just out of the ordinary.
0:46:26 > 0:46:30I know he can be distracting and, from what I hear these days,
0:46:30 > 0:46:33upsetting to some of your children.
0:46:33 > 0:46:36I get that the roof and the head banging are new
0:46:36 > 0:46:38and they are hard to deal with.
0:46:38 > 0:46:39And the running out the classroom.
0:46:39 > 0:46:43Yep, that too, yep. But I'm not apologising for Joe.
0:46:43 > 0:46:46I know there are a lot of good reasons for him to be here.
0:46:46 > 0:46:48Nobody minds him being here at all.
0:46:48 > 0:46:50OK, well, another way of thinking about that
0:46:50 > 0:46:53is that it's good for your children to have him here.
0:46:53 > 0:46:55For them to be around a child that's different,
0:46:55 > 0:46:57that has a different way of looking at the world,
0:46:57 > 0:47:01that communicates differently, that doesn't much care about, you know,
0:47:01 > 0:47:07Sats or peer group approval or, God help us, football cards.
0:47:08 > 0:47:09That's a privilege.
0:47:11 > 0:47:13So I reckon with the right level of support
0:47:13 > 0:47:15and the right attitude,
0:47:15 > 0:47:18this school should do all right by children like Joe
0:47:18 > 0:47:20and be a better school for having him.
0:47:20 > 0:47:25Thanks, Alison. That's lovely, but can we get to specifics? About Joe.
0:47:25 > 0:47:28And his behaviour. And what we can do about it.
0:47:28 > 0:47:30We could. But we'd be wasting our time.
0:47:30 > 0:47:34Because, well, Joe's not going to be coming here for very much longer.
0:47:34 > 0:47:38We're going to find a school for him that's a bit more specialist.
0:47:38 > 0:47:41It's not going to be easy. But that's what we're going to do.
0:47:41 > 0:47:43I don't understand. When did you decide this?
0:47:43 > 0:47:47When we realised that we were getting more out of the idea of him being integrated than he was.
0:47:47 > 0:47:50So what's this all about? I thought you were going to reassure the parents.
0:47:50 > 0:47:52I am reassuring the parents.
0:47:52 > 0:47:54About the next child like Joe that comes here.
0:47:56 > 0:47:57And the one after that...
0:48:02 > 0:48:04A special school?
0:48:04 > 0:48:06I thought you didn't want him going to a special school.
0:48:06 > 0:48:08Well, it's not a special school.
0:48:08 > 0:48:12It's, er, an autism unit in an ordinary school.
0:48:12 > 0:48:15Well, you're still taking him out of the school he knows.
0:48:15 > 0:48:20Well, something needed to be done. We've made the right decision.
0:48:20 > 0:48:23Great. Good for you. What you talking to me about it for?
0:48:23 > 0:48:24You've always got an opinion.
0:48:24 > 0:48:27Well, you've never asked to hear it before.
0:48:27 > 0:48:28Well, I'm asking for it now.
0:48:28 > 0:48:29FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
0:48:31 > 0:48:34I think my opinion giving days are behind me, Paul.
0:48:41 > 0:48:43This job that Ralph has applied for with you.
0:48:43 > 0:48:45Uh? What job?
0:48:45 > 0:48:48He left the application form out, Maurice, so don't mess about.
0:48:48 > 0:48:50Has he got any chance of getting it?
0:48:50 > 0:48:53Yeah. He's a grafter. He's got a good job record.
0:48:53 > 0:48:55We get on.
0:48:55 > 0:48:56Well, that's good to hear.
0:48:56 > 0:48:59Yeah, he's got a good chance and, er, if he does get it,
0:48:59 > 0:49:00he'll get it on merit.
0:49:00 > 0:49:03Well, that's great. Just make sure he doesn't, all right?
0:49:03 > 0:49:05- What?- Let him do the interview.
0:49:05 > 0:49:07But, please, Maurice, don't give him the job.
0:49:07 > 0:49:11- What? Why not?- I can't tell you that. I just need you to promise me that you'll let him come close,
0:49:11 > 0:49:13but not get the job in the end.
0:49:13 > 0:49:15He's a grown man. He makes his own decisions.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18I've got my reasons, I just don't want to go into them with you!
0:49:18 > 0:49:20Oh, I get it.
0:49:21 > 0:49:24Don't take it out on Ralph, you know, just cos you've still got a problem with me.
0:49:24 > 0:49:27A problem with you? My God.
0:49:27 > 0:49:29The view from your ego must be breathtaking.
0:49:29 > 0:49:32Hard as it must be for you to believe, Maurice,
0:49:32 > 0:49:34this isn't about you, it's about me.
0:49:34 > 0:49:37And if what we had or didn't have means anything to you,
0:49:37 > 0:49:39then that should be enough for you to do what I ask.
0:49:39 > 0:49:44OK. OK. OK. I get the message. He won't get the job.
0:49:46 > 0:49:47I promise.
0:49:52 > 0:49:53Hiya.
0:50:12 > 0:50:13Where's James?
0:50:16 > 0:50:18DOOR BANGS
0:50:33 > 0:50:34Do you love him?
0:50:34 > 0:50:35Of course I love him.
0:50:35 > 0:50:37We had tattoos done and everything.
0:50:37 > 0:50:39"We"? Oh, wonderful.
0:50:39 > 0:50:40Paul.
0:50:40 > 0:50:43Look, in fairness to James, it must've been hard to come here
0:50:43 > 0:50:45and meet your whole family in one go.
0:50:45 > 0:50:47You had all that freedom...
0:50:47 > 0:50:51No, it isn't that. It isn't that. Well, it is that.
0:50:51 > 0:50:53- But it's more... - How do you mean?
0:50:53 > 0:50:57I know Joe takes a bit of getting used to. It's, like, I don't know,
0:50:57 > 0:51:00it's like he's almost afraid of him.
0:51:00 > 0:51:02Have you actually asked James about any of this?
0:51:02 > 0:51:04No. We're not speaking.
0:51:04 > 0:51:09Clearly. Look, stop trying to second guess what James is feeling
0:51:09 > 0:51:12and just go and talk to him before it's too late.
0:51:12 > 0:51:15Since when did you think talking about feelings was a good idea?
0:51:15 > 0:51:17Oh, I don't. I just do it to annoy your dad.
0:51:17 > 0:51:19Go on! Get after him.
0:51:19 > 0:51:22He might be the love of your life or he might not,
0:51:22 > 0:51:24but you need to find out and whatever happens,
0:51:24 > 0:51:26we're here for you.
0:51:26 > 0:51:28If you're happy, we're happy.
0:51:30 > 0:51:32You're becoming all right, you know!
0:51:32 > 0:51:33Can I have that in writing?
0:51:37 > 0:51:39Just to be clear.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43That was the old, "We want you to be happy but, please God, dump him"
0:51:43 > 0:51:45tactic you just did then?
0:51:45 > 0:51:46Correct.
0:51:52 > 0:51:53Vincent, you're still here?
0:51:53 > 0:51:56There's not a rail strike I don't know about, is there?
0:51:56 > 0:51:58I just need a little time.
0:51:58 > 0:52:02You've had a little time. Won't your congregation be missing you?
0:52:02 > 0:52:04I've got a new curate. He's stepping in.
0:52:04 > 0:52:06He won't even notice I'm gone.
0:52:06 > 0:52:09You'll have to go back and face the truth some time.
0:52:09 > 0:52:11Nicola's right, Vincent.
0:52:11 > 0:52:13Perhaps I'll give it two years like you two did.
0:52:15 > 0:52:18I didn't lie, by the way. About my marriage.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20I just didn't tell you the truth.
0:52:20 > 0:52:22You didn't feel you could tell your own mum and dad?
0:52:22 > 0:52:25The last time I told you, I got nothing but judgment from you.
0:52:25 > 0:52:27And I realise now that your response was partly you
0:52:27 > 0:52:30projecting your own guilt on to my adultery.
0:52:30 > 0:52:33I'm your dad, if you don't mind.
0:52:33 > 0:52:36And I'm your ex-husband so, you know, we might want to be
0:52:36 > 0:52:39moving this along to something slightly less incendiary.
0:52:40 > 0:52:43I'm sorry, Eddie, but it needed to be said.
0:52:43 > 0:52:44Again. Really?
0:52:44 > 0:52:47OK, OK, you might have a point, Nicola. I've been thinking.
0:52:47 > 0:52:51And praying. And this time, it's going to be different.
0:52:51 > 0:52:52I'm glad to hear it.
0:52:52 > 0:52:55I am going to redeem myself with you and God.
0:52:55 > 0:52:57Just me would be a start.
0:52:57 > 0:52:58I'm going to stay right here
0:52:58 > 0:53:02and I'm not going to leave till I've got you two back together again.
0:53:10 > 0:53:13James! James! Oh...!
0:53:23 > 0:53:24You didn't get on.
0:53:24 > 0:53:25Wasn't my bus.
0:53:31 > 0:53:33Came after me.
0:53:33 > 0:53:35I was just going to the shops.
0:53:42 > 0:53:43You know we love you.
0:53:44 > 0:53:46We love you.
0:53:46 > 0:53:47Rolling Stones. 1967.
0:53:49 > 0:53:51Sorry. Dad joke.
0:53:53 > 0:53:56And you know you find some things harder than other kids?
0:53:58 > 0:54:00Lost Weekend.
0:54:00 > 0:54:02No, no, no, you don't, you don't get to ask a question.
0:54:02 > 0:54:04Not till you've answered Mum.
0:54:06 > 0:54:08What do you think autistic means?
0:54:10 > 0:54:14Let me see now.
0:54:14 > 0:54:18Well, it means....
0:54:20 > 0:54:22It just means different, really.
0:54:26 > 0:54:28I'm not the same.
0:54:28 > 0:54:33Well, most of you is the same, but maybe a bit of you is different.
0:54:33 > 0:54:36The bit that makes some things harder for you.
0:54:36 > 0:54:38And some things easier.
0:54:38 > 0:54:41Like you remember things better than the other kids and...
0:54:41 > 0:54:44And the good news is that makes you Joe.
0:54:44 > 0:54:47And Joe is an absolute belter.
0:54:47 > 0:54:50"And the good news is we'll be landing immediately
0:54:50 > 0:54:53"and the bad news is we're crash landing."
0:54:53 > 0:54:54Joe.
0:54:54 > 0:54:55Madagascar 2.
0:54:55 > 0:54:57I know. I know.
0:55:00 > 0:55:01I'm not the same.
0:55:04 > 0:55:06Well, no-one's the same.
0:55:08 > 0:55:14So... I am the same.
0:55:14 > 0:55:18Well, everybody is a bit different.
0:55:18 > 0:55:22And the bit of you that's different is autistic.
0:55:22 > 0:55:24That's just what it's called.
0:55:27 > 0:55:29I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.
0:55:29 > 0:55:31No, no, no, hey, no, no, no, you don't, no,
0:55:31 > 0:55:33that's not what we mean.
0:55:33 > 0:55:34No, it's not that you've,
0:55:34 > 0:55:39that you've done anything wrong or it's bad.
0:55:39 > 0:55:43You never have to be sorry for this. Never.
0:55:44 > 0:55:50Because we've all got things... We're all a bit broken, you know.
0:55:52 > 0:55:55- We are.- And...
0:55:55 > 0:55:57- Just one thing.- Yes.
0:55:58 > 0:56:01I have a choc ice. In the freezer.
0:56:01 > 0:56:04And it might be going mouldy.
0:56:04 > 0:56:07No, no, it won't. You know that.
0:56:07 > 0:56:09And from time to time you might need a bit more help.
0:56:11 > 0:56:14But that's OK.
0:56:17 > 0:56:19I don't want to talk about autistic any more.
0:56:19 > 0:56:23Me neither, love, me neither.
0:56:36 > 0:56:37Guess what?
0:56:37 > 0:56:39James is staying.
0:56:39 > 0:56:41Er, better than that.
0:56:41 > 0:56:43We're engaged!
0:56:48 > 0:56:49BOTH: Ah!
0:56:51 > 0:56:53MUSIC IN HEADPHONES
0:56:57 > 0:56:58# ..want to say
0:56:59 > 0:57:03# There's nothing left I want to say
0:57:03 > 0:57:05# There's nothing left I want to say
0:57:05 > 0:57:09# Because I've put up with you for too long
0:57:12 > 0:57:16# I thought I could stick with you but I was wrong... #
0:57:30 > 0:57:32First day at a special school?
0:57:32 > 0:57:34It's not a special school.
0:57:34 > 0:57:35It's a specialist base.
0:57:35 > 0:57:37Can we stop pretending that it's not just a bit weird?
0:57:37 > 0:57:39It's not the way to my school.
0:57:39 > 0:57:41You can see how it is with Joe at the moment.
0:57:41 > 0:57:42They're going to need some help.
0:57:42 > 0:57:46- We're supposed to be going to London. I've got a job lined up in a recording studio.- No, you haven't.
0:57:46 > 0:57:49You get on better than most couples that are together.
0:57:49 > 0:57:50The reason being we aren't together.
0:57:50 > 0:57:53- You promised me.- Because I won't do your dirty work without knowing why.
0:57:53 > 0:57:55Maybe it's just too big a change for him.
0:57:55 > 0:57:57It's day one, Paul.
0:57:57 > 0:57:59Exactly. Which means we can change our minds.