Episode 4

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04Louise has got cancer and I'm helping her out.

0:00:04 > 0:00:06I'm not here to help you get your own back on God.

0:00:06 > 0:00:09It's Sandra you're trying to rescue, Maurice.

0:00:09 > 0:00:11The change with Joe, it's taking its toll on you...

0:00:11 > 0:00:14..and on me. We need to do something about that.

0:00:14 > 0:00:16How was Manchester? How's Eddie?

0:00:16 > 0:00:19Weirdest thing, this new girlfriend of his is just like you.

0:00:19 > 0:00:20So you met her?

0:00:20 > 0:00:23I'm going to take Sophie and the lad to that gig.

0:00:23 > 0:00:24What happens next?

0:00:24 > 0:00:27What happens is we enjoy ourselves.

0:00:28 > 0:00:30Is this where we kiss?

0:00:30 > 0:00:31Nah.

0:00:31 > 0:00:35Just for a moment, I felt more at home with Sophie than I do with you.

0:00:35 > 0:00:38So why are you telling me? Nothing happened.

0:00:38 > 0:00:39Because something felt wrong.

0:00:41 > 0:00:45# Break a mirror

0:00:45 > 0:00:48# Roll the dice

0:00:48 > 0:00:53# Run with scissors

0:00:53 > 0:00:56# Through a chip pan fire fight

0:00:56 > 0:01:01# Go into business with a grizzly bear

0:01:05 > 0:01:09# But just don't sit down cos I've moved your chair

0:01:28 > 0:01:31# Find a well-known hard man... #

0:01:31 > 0:01:33PHONE RINGS

0:01:35 > 0:01:36Hello?

0:01:38 > 0:01:39What?

0:01:39 > 0:01:41Oh, right.

0:01:41 > 0:01:43Well, I'll come! I'm coming now!

0:01:45 > 0:01:50# Fill in a circular hole with a peg that's square

0:01:53 > 0:01:57# But just don't sit down cos I've moved your chair... #

0:02:00 > 0:02:03- Louise. It's Maurice. - COUGHING AND RETCHING

0:02:03 > 0:02:04Are you OK in there?

0:02:06 > 0:02:08Thank you for coming. I panicked.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10That's all right. You're allowed.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17I know I'm no oil painting but that's a bit rough.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19SHE LAUGHS AMID RETCHING

0:02:25 > 0:02:29I'll drop off some ginger and peppermint tea bags.

0:02:29 > 0:02:31Might help with this if you're off the steroids.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33Thanks.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Is Ralph there?

0:02:38 > 0:02:40He was just in the hall, do you want me to go and get him?

0:02:40 > 0:02:43No, no, no. I don't want him seeing me like this.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46Do you mind if I borrow him for the day?

0:02:46 > 0:02:50I've... I've got a beer tent that needs an extra pair of hands.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53That would be great, yes. Thank you, Maurice.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01I need your help, mate.

0:03:01 > 0:03:02I'm not a baby.

0:03:02 > 0:03:04Nobody's saying you are! Look, I've got a busy day.

0:03:04 > 0:03:07I've got a busy day.

0:03:07 > 0:03:08I need a hand.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10I've overcommitted. As usual.

0:03:10 > 0:03:11Just give me the morning, eh?

0:03:11 > 0:03:12There's a fry up in it.

0:03:19 > 0:03:21JOE PLAYS WITH VOLUME ON MUSIC

0:03:32 > 0:03:34Are you going somewhere?

0:03:34 > 0:03:36No, you two are. I've packed for you.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38Eddie's lending you his flat.

0:03:38 > 0:03:39All you've got do is get in the car.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42It's a lovely idea but Paul's got the fell race at the gastro pub today

0:03:42 > 0:03:45and I've got a 25-page assessment form to fill in for Joe's school.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47We've got the gastro pub covered,

0:03:47 > 0:03:48and I'm sure I can manage to fill in a form.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51I know Joe off by heart and Nicola loves filling in questions.

0:03:51 > 0:03:52Nicola?

0:03:52 > 0:03:55Yeah, we're going to look after Joe together.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58You've got no excuses left, now go.

0:03:58 > 0:03:59It's really nice of you, love, but...

0:03:59 > 0:04:02"But" nothing. Are you seriously telling me there isn't a problem?

0:04:03 > 0:04:06I've noticed it so you can bet Joe's noticed it.

0:04:06 > 0:04:09And you never see each other any more, so now's your chance.

0:04:09 > 0:04:13It's only Eddie's flat but it's all I could think of - go on!

0:04:13 > 0:04:16Relationship advice from a 19-year-old

0:04:16 > 0:04:18with a three week broken engagement to her name?

0:04:18 > 0:04:21Be good for my shattered self-esteem if you said yes.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37Is this a private conga or can anyone join in?

0:04:37 > 0:04:40Eddie, thank you for offering us your flat this weekend.

0:04:40 > 0:04:41It's very sweet of you.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43As long as you strip the bed

0:04:43 > 0:04:45and don't go into my special bedside drawer...

0:04:45 > 0:04:48No, we're not going. You need your flat for you and Emily.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50No. Emily's meeting Holly for the first time this weekend

0:04:50 > 0:04:52so we'll be staying at hers.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54A sleepover? At your girlfriend's?

0:04:54 > 0:04:56Are you sure you're ready to take it to the next level?

0:04:56 > 0:04:59What if that doesn't work out? You'll need a bolt hole.

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Oh, your faith in me is very touching.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04Have you done your seduction playlist on your iPod yet?

0:05:04 > 0:05:05No comment.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Does she have a compatible hub?

0:05:07 > 0:05:10Hilarious. Now, get out of here, you crazy kids!

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Emily! Oh!

0:05:15 > 0:05:19Ah, look at that!

0:05:19 > 0:05:21- Come on. - Are you in on this too?

0:05:22 > 0:05:25All Rebecca's idea. She wants you to go.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27Is she planning a party? Is that what this is about?

0:05:27 > 0:05:29No, she's worried about you.

0:05:31 > 0:05:32Should she be?

0:05:37 > 0:05:41# Shiver and say the words

0:05:41 > 0:05:45# Of every lie you've heard

0:05:45 > 0:05:48# First I'm gonna make it

0:05:48 > 0:05:53# Then I'm gonna break it till it falls apart. #

0:05:53 > 0:05:55- Beep, beep, beep, beep. - All right, Joe.

0:05:55 > 0:05:57Today is going to be different

0:05:57 > 0:05:59but it's all on here. We'll have some breakfast,

0:05:59 > 0:06:02then go to the playground. Then we'll go to the fell race

0:06:02 > 0:06:06and watch Grandad run! Then we'll choose a film

0:06:06 > 0:06:10and have fish and chips and we'll watch it together round yours.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12How does that sound?

0:06:12 > 0:06:13Lust For Life.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15Iggy Pop. 1977.

0:06:15 > 0:06:18Baby Emily will have fish and chips?

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Sorry about that, Joe.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23I'm whisking her away but she'll see you soon.

0:06:23 > 0:06:26Emily is going to meet Eddie's Manchester girlfriend.

0:06:26 > 0:06:28She's got a name. She's called Holly.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30Who? Your Manchester girlfriend?

0:06:30 > 0:06:34I'll do motor skills if you do emotional development.

0:06:34 > 0:06:35I'd go the other way round if I were you.

0:06:35 > 0:06:38Is this another of your public speaking engagements?

0:06:38 > 0:06:40No, it's a questionnaire for Joe's new school.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42I thought you were in a hurry to get away.

0:06:42 > 0:06:43Ask me one before I go.

0:06:43 > 0:06:45It's a psychological profile, not a pub quiz.

0:06:45 > 0:06:49Erm, "Does your child have difficulty making friends?"

0:06:49 > 0:06:50No, not really. He's just choosy.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52"Would you say your child is clumsy?"

0:06:52 > 0:06:54- Yes. - Yes for me, too.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57"Does your child have problems with manual dexterity?"

0:06:58 > 0:07:00That's a yes for Eddie.

0:07:03 > 0:07:04Let me see.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07There's loads there he might not have done!

0:07:07 > 0:07:09So what, he just scores a no?

0:07:09 > 0:07:11That's like saying, "Am I good at pole vaulting?"

0:07:11 > 0:07:14Well, how would I ever know? Never had to find out.

0:07:14 > 0:07:15If I was going to make a guess, though...

0:07:15 > 0:07:17Bedwetting?

0:07:17 > 0:07:18Usually straight after pole vaulting.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20Aren't you going to be late?

0:07:20 > 0:07:21Come on.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23Skills.

0:07:23 > 0:07:25This is more like it.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28Catching, running, cycling, swimming, stair climbing.

0:07:28 > 0:07:30Get ticks in half these boxes before lunchtime.

0:07:30 > 0:07:33It's not a bucket list, Eddie, that's not how it works.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36- It's a snapshot.- Yeah, a snapshot of all the things he can't do.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39So, let's change some of this.

0:07:39 > 0:07:43Joe, would you like to ride your bike without stabilisers?

0:07:50 > 0:07:53Joe, would you like to ride a bike,

0:07:53 > 0:07:56properly, without stabilisers, eh?

0:07:56 > 0:07:58Would you like to ride a bike?

0:07:58 > 0:08:01I'm taking that as a yes.

0:08:10 > 0:08:13Don't need a wee, do I?

0:08:13 > 0:08:16Do you want to turn back?

0:08:16 > 0:08:18Because we can if you think this is a bad idea.

0:08:18 > 0:08:22- Do you want to turn back? - Don't do that.

0:08:22 > 0:08:24Eddie's flat's hardly a break for you, is it?

0:08:24 > 0:08:28Look, we promised each other that we would be all right

0:08:28 > 0:08:29when Joe changed schools

0:08:29 > 0:08:32and now we're avoiding each other when we're together

0:08:32 > 0:08:33and not talking when we're not.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36So we can either carry on like that or we can do something about it.

0:08:36 > 0:08:39Do you want to do something about it?

0:08:39 > 0:08:40Yes or no?

0:08:42 > 0:08:43Let me see now...

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Taking the piss isn't an option.

0:08:59 > 0:09:01PHONE CHIMES

0:09:04 > 0:09:06Is that your mum? She feeling better?

0:09:06 > 0:09:07It's not my mum.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09Thing is, she's all over the place.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11It's not her talking, it's the drugs half the time.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14- I know.- She don't know her own mind so how we're supposed to...

0:09:14 > 0:09:15I know.

0:09:15 > 0:09:18Well, with all due respect, you don't. I've been through it.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20I'm not a child. I understand.

0:09:20 > 0:09:21You can't, Ralph!

0:09:21 > 0:09:23I don't understand her, so God knows how you do.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29Ralph! I'm sorry, that came out wrong.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31I didn't...

0:09:31 > 0:09:32Ralph!

0:09:41 > 0:09:44Are you sure this is the right way to go about it?

0:09:44 > 0:09:46You must never surprise a child by presenting them

0:09:46 > 0:09:48with their bike suddenly with no stabilisers.

0:09:48 > 0:09:52You let him see you remove them, he can process the change.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54OK, Joe. Let's make history.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07Well, that's well and truly processed.

0:10:13 > 0:10:17Joe, let go of my head and pedal.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19Let go of my head and pedal.

0:10:19 > 0:10:24Let go and...and pedal. Off you go.

0:10:26 > 0:10:30Your fault that time - ambiguous phrase use, "Off you go."

0:10:30 > 0:10:34There's a bike helmet in the car, Rebecca.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36I feel a positive role model is needed.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Talking of "Off You Go"...

0:10:38 > 0:10:41I'll give it till lunchtime. This'll do the trick.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50You keep pedalling and you keep pedalling

0:10:50 > 0:10:52and the bike will take care of you.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54You see? Do you want a go?

0:10:54 > 0:10:56Eh?

0:11:01 > 0:11:03Is this him still processing, or telling us

0:11:03 > 0:11:05he doesn't want to ride the bike?

0:11:05 > 0:11:06What else is on the list?

0:11:06 > 0:11:09Erm...swimming, throwing balls,

0:11:09 > 0:11:11hopping...

0:11:11 > 0:11:15Hopping? Where's that going to get him in life?

0:11:15 > 0:11:17Unless the Beatrix Potter Museum are hiring.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20I'll have him doing wheelies by tea time.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35What do we do now?

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Anything we like.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40But what do we do now?

0:11:54 > 0:11:55We could go out.

0:11:55 > 0:11:58True. True. We could.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04I'll give Eddie a call and let him know that we've arrived.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08Eddie!

0:12:08 > 0:12:10Arrived.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12How's things your end?

0:12:12 > 0:12:14Er, bike pump?

0:12:14 > 0:12:17Should be in the shed.

0:12:17 > 0:12:19Great.

0:12:19 > 0:12:21Found your porn stash!

0:12:21 > 0:12:25Lovely. Home-made stuff's particularly strong.

0:12:26 > 0:12:27Yeah. OK!

0:12:28 > 0:12:30Bye.

0:12:30 > 0:12:31So what was that about?

0:12:31 > 0:12:32Eddie's going to try and teach Joe

0:12:32 > 0:12:34to ride his bike without stabilisers.

0:12:34 > 0:12:35I'd like to see that.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37Yeah, me too.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39Last time I took his stabilisers off, he sat on the floor

0:12:39 > 0:12:41and he barked like a dog until I put them back on again.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Should we warn Eddie of that

0:12:43 > 0:12:45or is it more fun for him to find out himself?

0:12:45 > 0:12:48Talking about Joe already. How long's that taken us?

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Are we banned from talking about Joe?

0:12:57 > 0:12:59Five minutes.

0:12:59 > 0:13:02If you've set that for sex, I'm going to have to unpack my inhaler.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04We're going to sit down here and talk

0:13:04 > 0:13:07but not about the kids and not about work, just for five minutes.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09- All right?- OK.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34I wonder if he's taken the stabilisers off yet.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36It's 15 seconds.

0:13:36 > 0:13:37Well, it's nearer 20.

0:13:37 > 0:13:39Maybe five minutes was over ambitious.

0:13:39 > 0:13:42No come on, it's... It's the timer!

0:13:42 > 0:13:44Come on. We can do this.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46We're Paul and Alison,

0:13:46 > 0:13:48the golden couple.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Nobody's ever called us the golden couple.

0:13:50 > 0:13:52We could go out for a coffee first?

0:13:52 > 0:13:54Yeah, let's do that.

0:14:10 > 0:14:13Earlier on, when I said you couldn't understand

0:14:13 > 0:14:16what I couldn't understand, I didn't mean...

0:14:16 > 0:14:19It's because you're her son, not because you're, like...

0:14:19 > 0:14:21Downs?

0:14:21 > 0:14:23Yeah, right.

0:14:25 > 0:14:27The thing is about being a mum or dad, you know,

0:14:27 > 0:14:29you always think of your kids as kids.

0:14:30 > 0:14:32Bloody hell, am I talking to myself or what?

0:14:32 > 0:14:34Have you got a hot date or something?

0:14:34 > 0:14:36Yeah.

0:14:36 > 0:14:40Oh, right! What, today?

0:14:40 > 0:14:42Is she coming to the fell race?

0:14:42 > 0:14:43Yeah!

0:14:43 > 0:14:44So I'll meet her, will I?

0:14:46 > 0:14:48Don't worry, son, I won't embarrass you.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50No, you won't.

0:14:55 > 0:14:58SPOKES RATTLE

0:14:58 > 0:15:00Anyone special?

0:15:00 > 0:15:03No, I just haven't heard anything from Mum and Dad.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05That's good, isn't it?

0:15:11 > 0:15:14How about that?

0:15:14 > 0:15:17Semaphore Signals.

0:15:19 > 0:15:22No, it's not a question.

0:15:22 > 0:15:27When somebody says, "How about that?" it's not a real question.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30Wreckless Eric. 1977.

0:15:35 > 0:15:38Like that! That's it, Joe! Hold on!

0:15:38 > 0:15:40Eddie doesn't want to leave.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43He's surprisingly determined when he puts his mind to it.

0:15:43 > 0:15:48- I don't think the bike is the reason that he's staying.- Rebecca...

0:15:50 > 0:15:52You're heartbroken yourself, so I think you are projecting

0:15:52 > 0:15:55your own desire for reconciliation on to us.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57This is not about James.

0:15:57 > 0:15:59But if he came back and looked at me

0:15:59 > 0:16:01like Eddie looks at you then I'd be happy.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03Cos you still want James back?

0:16:03 > 0:16:04No.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07Because I'd know that he wanted me back

0:16:07 > 0:16:09and he was suffering.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11That's my girl.

0:16:11 > 0:16:13Come on, Joe, you can do it.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16That's it! A bit faster, a bit faster!

0:16:16 > 0:16:17I'm still holding on!

0:16:17 > 0:16:20I'm still holding! That's it!

0:16:20 > 0:16:21That's it! You're doing it!

0:16:21 > 0:16:23You're doing it!

0:16:23 > 0:16:25No. No. No! Really no! Really no!

0:16:25 > 0:16:27OK. OK, OK, I'm sorry.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29I'm... OK, sorry.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32Joe! I'm sorry!

0:16:38 > 0:16:39I think the problem is

0:16:39 > 0:16:42whenever you let go of the seat, he stops his bike.

0:16:42 > 0:16:43I think you're right.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46You need to keep pretending that you are holding on to the seat

0:16:46 > 0:16:48when in fact you are not.

0:16:48 > 0:16:49I can see that now. Thank you.

0:16:49 > 0:16:54- The basic problem is... - The basic problem, Ramesh, is this.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56This questionnaire.

0:16:56 > 0:17:00The measuring, the assessing, the endless, tedious comparing!

0:17:00 > 0:17:02What he can't do, especially what he can't do,

0:17:02 > 0:17:05measured against who? Against us?

0:17:05 > 0:17:07Against normal people? I mean, look at us, are any of us normal?

0:17:07 > 0:17:08Eddie!

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Is this normal?

0:17:12 > 0:17:16It is mathematically impossible to fold paper more than seven times.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20Did he sleep through?

0:17:20 > 0:17:22I don't think he slept through.

0:17:28 > 0:17:29Thanks, Ramesh.

0:17:31 > 0:17:32Think it's time I got going anyway.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36I promised Joe an ice cream at the fell race.

0:17:51 > 0:17:55Have you noticed how her nipples seem to follow you around the room?

0:17:55 > 0:17:57No, that must be a boy thing.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03So was it Eddie's flat that made you want to come here

0:18:03 > 0:18:05or your interest in the history of art?

0:18:08 > 0:18:12It's nice, though, isn't it - just doing nothing together?

0:18:12 > 0:18:15Yeah. Yeah, it is.

0:18:16 > 0:18:19That daughter of ours might have had a point.

0:18:21 > 0:18:24But you can't tell me that there isn't an elephant in the room.

0:18:33 > 0:18:35You just... You never mentioned the Sophie thing again,

0:18:35 > 0:18:39so I thought you didn't want to talk about it.

0:18:39 > 0:18:41No, I didn't. At first.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43But you felt something

0:18:43 > 0:18:47and clearly it was enough to make you tell me.

0:18:47 > 0:18:48I loved the gig.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51Yeah, you said.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53I loved it for Joe in a daft way.

0:18:55 > 0:19:01I pictured him being there, you know, in ten years' time.

0:19:04 > 0:19:09And it just felt like it was OK for once,

0:19:09 > 0:19:12him growing up.

0:19:12 > 0:19:13Good.

0:19:15 > 0:19:17So...

0:19:19 > 0:19:22So when I dropped them off, it felt familiar, it felt easy.

0:19:23 > 0:19:27And you thought Sophie might feel familiar and easy too.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30It was a moment.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33And it was only a moment for me, to be honest.

0:19:33 > 0:19:35Sophie didn't encourage me.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37She didn't... She didn't react.

0:19:37 > 0:19:41She just, she just... She looked surprised.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43Yeah, I get that.

0:19:43 > 0:19:44I just...

0:19:44 > 0:19:48I just want to know what was going on in your head.

0:19:48 > 0:19:51Well, when you find out, will you tell me?

0:19:51 > 0:19:54Did she look like she needed rescuing? Was that it?

0:19:56 > 0:19:59Was that what?

0:19:59 > 0:20:02Well, I looked like I needed rescuing when we first got together.

0:20:05 > 0:20:08Single mum working in a bakery, living with her parents.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11Most men would've run a mile. Not you.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14Well, most men hadn't tasted your novelty scones.

0:20:14 > 0:20:19I can see that Sophie might look like a woman that needs rescuing,

0:20:19 > 0:20:24and I... I can see how that would work for you.

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Except she's not you.

0:20:26 > 0:20:27I can see that you would get...

0:20:29 > 0:20:33..like, confused by me being away

0:20:33 > 0:20:35and you being there.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37I, I get that.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39Except she's not you.

0:20:39 > 0:20:43I can't say I'm happy about it but...I get it.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48I just need...

0:20:48 > 0:20:50I just need to know if you get it.

0:20:52 > 0:20:53I do.

0:20:56 > 0:20:57I do.

0:20:59 > 0:21:00I'm sorry.

0:21:10 > 0:21:14Not long now till the sixth annual Hightown Fell Race

0:21:14 > 0:21:17gets underway.

0:21:17 > 0:21:18Previous winners...

0:21:18 > 0:21:20This girlfriend of yours, how serious is it?

0:21:20 > 0:21:21It's our first date.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24The thing is, you might think having a woman in your life

0:21:24 > 0:21:26is the be-all and end-all, but it isn't, you know?

0:21:26 > 0:21:28You spend half your time wondering what they're thinking

0:21:28 > 0:21:30and the other half wondering what they meant

0:21:30 > 0:21:32- when they've told you what they're thinking.- Right.

0:21:32 > 0:21:34One minute they want you in their life,

0:21:34 > 0:21:36the next they're telling you to back off. You see,

0:21:36 > 0:21:39you never know when you're in the right or in the wrong.

0:21:39 > 0:21:40Yeah.

0:21:40 > 0:21:43But the main thing is, they know you better than you know yourself,

0:21:43 > 0:21:45and the sooner you work that out, the better.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47- Hello, Ralph.- Hello.

0:21:48 > 0:21:52Tension rising now as we get near to race time.

0:21:52 > 0:21:57I want to hear a big cheer as these men and women get going.

0:21:59 > 0:22:02First five minutes - goes on on his own. This cover your losses?

0:22:02 > 0:22:04No skin off my nose.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07- It's just he likes to... - Yeah, I know what he likes to do.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09I remember him from last year.

0:22:11 > 0:22:12Hiya, Ralph. You all right?

0:22:12 > 0:22:14Maurice is being strange.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17Well, he does get very fired up for this kind of thing.

0:22:17 > 0:22:18That's not the reason.

0:22:18 > 0:22:19Oh?

0:22:19 > 0:22:23This year, we are proud to announce that we are fully kitted-out

0:22:23 > 0:22:26with a brand-new defibrillator.

0:22:26 > 0:22:28CHEERING

0:22:28 > 0:22:31Comes as welcome news to some more than others, eh, Maurice?

0:22:31 > 0:22:33I'm only kiddin' you, fella!

0:22:33 > 0:22:36On the sound of the klaxon, the race will begin.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39Good luck, everyone. Rather you than me!

0:22:39 > 0:22:44MUSIC: Boredom by Buzzcocks

0:22:52 > 0:22:53Do you come here a lot?

0:22:53 > 0:22:55Cos these pigeons seem to know you by name.

0:22:55 > 0:22:58I come to lectures at the university

0:22:58 > 0:22:59when Joe's at school.

0:23:03 > 0:23:05You gatecrash lectures?

0:23:06 > 0:23:07Since when?

0:23:07 > 0:23:09It started when I dropped in on Eddie,

0:23:09 > 0:23:11but then just kind of got hooked.

0:23:11 > 0:23:13It's something new,

0:23:13 > 0:23:16something I missed out on.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19Does that sound mad?

0:23:19 > 0:23:21What do you go and listen to?

0:23:22 > 0:23:24Psychology, Politics.

0:23:24 > 0:23:26Oh, embroidery...

0:23:28 > 0:23:30Well, it's a good job they do girlie subjects.

0:23:33 > 0:23:36You just go and listen at the back?

0:23:38 > 0:23:41Joe's settled at his new school and Rebecca'll go to uni

0:23:41 > 0:23:44and you've got the gastro pub,

0:23:44 > 0:23:48and we sold my diner so you could expand and I'm completely over that.

0:23:48 > 0:23:49Clearly.

0:23:49 > 0:23:54Erm, but so, for me, what next?

0:23:54 > 0:23:58I have to do something, I can't... I can't not do anything.

0:23:59 > 0:24:01Isn't it fair to just ask what I might do now?

0:24:03 > 0:24:05Is that fair?

0:24:05 > 0:24:08Or does that scare you like everything else seems to scare you these days.

0:24:08 > 0:24:11Are you asking this question as a strong independent woman

0:24:11 > 0:24:13with something to offer the world,

0:24:13 > 0:24:17or are you asking this question as my lovely little obedient wifey?

0:24:20 > 0:24:22You should go.

0:24:22 > 0:24:25You should. You should go to university, you'd be great.

0:24:30 > 0:24:32You should do what you want.

0:24:43 > 0:24:45VAN HORN HONKS

0:24:45 > 0:24:47- Here in Eddie's kitchen?- Yes.

0:24:48 > 0:24:51Only maybe don't call it Eddie's kitchen again.

0:24:51 > 0:24:53It's a bit of a passion killer, you know.

0:24:56 > 0:24:59- What? - No, no, no, it's fine.

0:24:59 > 0:25:01- What?!- Is that my copy?

0:25:01 > 0:25:05It's my copy of The Wedding Present, The Complete Peel Sessions.

0:25:10 > 0:25:14- It's all right, I can...- We can take our time, you know?

0:25:14 > 0:25:16Yeah! No, I know, I know!

0:25:16 > 0:25:20OK, you might want to try and sound just a tiny bit less defensive.

0:25:20 > 0:25:23- Sorry. It's just...- Come on.

0:25:28 > 0:25:31- Just feels like we're trying a bit too hard.- Yeah, let's just...

0:25:31 > 0:25:34Come on. Let's just be spontaneous. We can do it.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37- Which is actually not that spontaneous.- Yeah, yeah, yeah, OK.

0:25:37 > 0:25:40- You've made your point. I'm getting the spontaneous thing.- All right.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42- All right, I'm joking. - Well, forgive me for feeling

0:25:42 > 0:25:44just a tiny bit rejected by the fact

0:25:44 > 0:25:48that a little awkwardness is enough to stop us making love.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50It's like the timer thing, you know.

0:25:50 > 0:25:53If it comes down to it, you're not exactly relaxed.

0:25:53 > 0:25:58We have just been talking about you being attracted to someone else.

0:25:58 > 0:26:00And you said that you got it.

0:26:00 > 0:26:02I got it.

0:26:02 > 0:26:05It still hurt like hell.

0:26:05 > 0:26:08"I felt more at home with her than I do with you."

0:26:08 > 0:26:10For a moment. I said for a moment!

0:26:10 > 0:26:13Even for a moment, don't you think that stings just a little bit?

0:26:13 > 0:26:15OK.

0:26:15 > 0:26:19- I see.- Do you? Oh, good. OK, well, let's not go to Relate then

0:26:19 > 0:26:21because Paul "sees".

0:26:21 > 0:26:23So this is the argument we're having, is it?

0:26:23 > 0:26:25Not the one where I explained everything

0:26:25 > 0:26:26and you said that you got it.

0:26:26 > 0:26:29We're having the real row now, are we? Well, Eddie was right.

0:26:29 > 0:26:32- I shouldn't have said anything. - Eddie?

0:26:32 > 0:26:35When did you talk to Eddie about it?

0:26:35 > 0:26:39I did the right thing, Alison! I told you the truth.

0:26:40 > 0:26:45OK, so I have to be OK? What is this...

0:26:46 > 0:26:48..emotional plea bargaining?

0:26:48 > 0:26:49Yep. You found me out.

0:26:51 > 0:26:53And as for your actual feelings,

0:26:53 > 0:26:55I'm just going to have to guess, am I?

0:26:55 > 0:26:57Well, don't guess too hard, eh, cos you might just get them right

0:26:57 > 0:26:59and then we really would be in the shit.

0:26:59 > 0:27:03MUSIC: Fiction Romance by Buzzcocks

0:27:11 > 0:27:15# A fiction romance I love this love story

0:27:17 > 0:27:21# That never seems to happen in my life... #

0:27:26 > 0:27:30Have you calmed down now? I was merely expressing my frustration.

0:27:30 > 0:27:32We were all aware of your frustrations,

0:27:32 > 0:27:33especially the other children.

0:27:33 > 0:27:36All right, all right. It's just so, like, reductive.

0:27:36 > 0:27:37That's all I meant.

0:27:37 > 0:27:40If you put all these ingredients in a cake and baked it,

0:27:40 > 0:27:42Joe wouldn't come out, would he?

0:27:42 > 0:27:43You know how I feel about metaphor.

0:27:43 > 0:27:47Yeah, it's just a big list of his failures.

0:27:47 > 0:27:50How would you feel if that was Emily?

0:27:50 > 0:27:54And as a man who's suffered failures of his own, you feel that keenly.

0:27:54 > 0:27:55I see that.

0:27:55 > 0:27:58I was pretty sure I could nail it in a day.

0:27:58 > 0:28:01A day you could've been spending with your Manchester girlfriend.

0:28:01 > 0:28:03Well, yes.

0:28:03 > 0:28:05But you were clearly enjoying yourself too much here.

0:28:05 > 0:28:08It was fun. It is fun.

0:28:12 > 0:28:14Worth missing out on a night of passion?

0:28:15 > 0:28:17I would've been sharing a bedroom with Emily,

0:28:17 > 0:28:18just so you know.

0:28:18 > 0:28:21It's none of my business, just so you know.

0:28:22 > 0:28:23Right.

0:28:23 > 0:28:26Who we see. Who we don't see. Who we sleep with.

0:28:26 > 0:28:28- Who we don't sleep with. - I know that.

0:28:28 > 0:28:32- I mean... - I said I know that, all right?

0:29:03 > 0:29:05You guys seen Grandad come through yet?

0:29:05 > 0:29:06No, I haven't.

0:29:06 > 0:29:09That bloke from Kendal he always beats came through ages ago.

0:29:12 > 0:29:14Why would I need to know anything

0:29:14 > 0:29:16about who you are and aren't sleeping with?

0:29:16 > 0:29:18I wasn't offering that information.

0:29:19 > 0:29:24But, for the record, I haven't slept with anyone since you left.

0:29:24 > 0:29:26Good, but I don't care!

0:29:26 > 0:29:27I'm glad we sorted that out!

0:29:29 > 0:29:32Come on, Joe, let's see if we can cheer Grandad on.

0:29:32 > 0:29:34Side by side! They're crossing the line together!

0:29:34 > 0:29:37Very sporting, lads! Very sporting!

0:29:41 > 0:29:43Dad?

0:29:44 > 0:29:46Dad?

0:29:51 > 0:29:53Dad, are you OK?

0:29:55 > 0:29:56I just fancied taking in the view.

0:29:56 > 0:30:01And in the end, really, you know, what's the point?

0:30:01 > 0:30:03What about your big finish?

0:30:03 > 0:30:05Are you talking about death?

0:30:05 > 0:30:08I was talking about sprinting past the skinny guy from Kendal

0:30:08 > 0:30:10in the last 100 metres, but...

0:30:10 > 0:30:13Shouldn't you be in Manchester by now?

0:30:13 > 0:30:14Had to stay.

0:30:16 > 0:30:18You didn't, though, did you?

0:30:18 > 0:30:20You wanted to.

0:30:27 > 0:30:29Are you sure you're OK?

0:30:29 > 0:30:31It's just, you're usually so competitive.

0:30:33 > 0:30:36You're sitting out a fell race and I'm hurling push bikes around.

0:30:36 > 0:30:40Is this it? You're turning into me and I'm turning into you?

0:30:42 > 0:30:45I'm sorry to tell you this, son, but you're the sane one here.

0:30:50 > 0:30:53Run, Forrest, run!

0:30:55 > 0:30:57My feet don't hurt, do they?

0:30:57 > 0:31:04MUSIC: Mersey Paradise by The Stone Roses

0:31:08 > 0:31:11And here, last but not least,

0:31:11 > 0:31:16local brewer and full-time fell runner Maurice Scott.

0:31:16 > 0:31:18Come on, Grandad!

0:31:18 > 0:31:20Well done, Maurice!

0:31:20 > 0:31:23# If she were there I'd hold her down

0:31:23 > 0:31:26# I'll push her under while she drowns

0:31:26 > 0:31:30# And couldn't breathe and call for air

0:31:30 > 0:31:33# She doesn't care for my despair

0:31:33 > 0:31:37# Or is it me?

0:31:37 > 0:31:41# Or the one that's wrong

0:31:41 > 0:31:44# You see it in the sea

0:31:44 > 0:31:47# River Cool's where I belong... #

0:31:58 > 0:32:01Didn't think anybody could look worse than me today, Maurice.

0:32:04 > 0:32:08The day Sandra died, I went out to the garage and serviced the car.

0:32:11 > 0:32:12Sorry?

0:32:12 > 0:32:15Brake pads, filters, oil change -

0:32:15 > 0:32:18the lot.

0:32:18 > 0:32:19Right.

0:32:21 > 0:32:25Grief, it takes people in different ways.

0:32:25 > 0:32:27Maurice, I'm really tired.

0:32:27 > 0:32:30I know, I'm sorry. I won't keep you long.

0:32:30 > 0:32:35I came to say you were right, what you said.

0:32:36 > 0:32:40I am trying to save Sandra again by helping you

0:32:40 > 0:32:42and helping you brings it all back.

0:32:44 > 0:32:48And it's hard sometimes not to think I'll do it better this time.

0:32:49 > 0:32:56And, er, me helping you is me sticking two fingers up to cancer.

0:32:58 > 0:33:02Part of me will always be stuck there, by Sandra's bed.

0:33:04 > 0:33:06But you really need to hear this.

0:33:06 > 0:33:08I don't want you to come through this for Sandra.

0:33:10 > 0:33:13I want you to come through this because you're you.

0:33:13 > 0:33:15Nobody else.

0:33:16 > 0:33:18I want this for you.

0:33:20 > 0:33:23And I want you to be there for me...

0:33:24 > 0:33:26..after,

0:33:26 > 0:33:27taking the piss...

0:33:30 > 0:33:34..making me think things I've never thought before,

0:33:34 > 0:33:36rattling me cage.

0:33:36 > 0:33:41And I might have blown it right here, now,

0:33:41 > 0:33:44and if I have, it'll knock me bow-legged, but...

0:33:44 > 0:33:47..at least I've said it.

0:33:57 > 0:34:01I'll say this for you, Maurice, you're full of surprises.

0:34:01 > 0:34:03Nobody's ever said that to me before.

0:34:05 > 0:34:07And now I have to go and throw up.

0:34:07 > 0:34:08Right.

0:34:10 > 0:34:15MUSIC: Something and Nothing by The Wedding Present

0:34:26 > 0:34:30SONG STOPS AND RESTARTS

0:34:37 > 0:34:39SONG STOPS AND RESTARTS

0:34:41 > 0:34:44Can you stop that? I'm just... I'm trying to concentrate.

0:34:48 > 0:34:53- On what?- It's Sophie's appeal for Mark's school.

0:34:56 > 0:35:01Are you doing that cos you want to or to prove a point?

0:35:01 > 0:35:02Doing it because it needs doing.

0:35:04 > 0:35:06Sorry, that was a shit thing to say.

0:35:06 > 0:35:08It's all right.

0:35:08 > 0:35:11I'll file it away with all the other shit things you've said.

0:35:14 > 0:35:16So how do you think the weekend's going so far

0:35:16 > 0:35:18on a scale of bad to disastrous?

0:35:18 > 0:35:22PHONE RINGS

0:35:22 > 0:35:23Hey, Eddie.

0:35:25 > 0:35:27No. No,

0:35:27 > 0:35:30you're not interrupting anything.

0:35:30 > 0:35:31No.

0:35:31 > 0:35:35Oh, I've got a horrible feeling they're in the car.

0:35:35 > 0:35:36Joe's lost one of his trainers.

0:35:36 > 0:35:38- I think we've got his spares? - Yeah, they are.

0:35:38 > 0:35:41They're in the car, I could smell them on the way here.

0:35:41 > 0:35:45We've got one and he's a bit upset, asking for special trainers.

0:35:45 > 0:35:47Just wondered what he means

0:35:47 > 0:35:49or how I can persuade him that shoes are just as good.

0:35:51 > 0:35:53It'll be fine, I'm sure.

0:35:53 > 0:35:57All right, thanks for letting me know, Eddie. Just leave it with me.

0:35:57 > 0:35:58I'll speak to you in a bit.

0:35:58 > 0:36:01All right, bye.

0:36:06 > 0:36:09I mean, he won't settle if he doesn't have his trainers.

0:36:09 > 0:36:12Not once the idea's in his head. You know what he's like.

0:36:13 > 0:36:15Yeah.

0:36:15 > 0:36:16Yeah, we should go.

0:36:18 > 0:36:21Eddie'll have a nightmare otherwise.

0:36:21 > 0:36:24- It's a good job we didn't unpack. - Yeah, exactly.

0:36:29 > 0:36:30Stop the car.

0:36:31 > 0:36:32What?

0:36:32 > 0:36:34Stop the car.

0:36:34 > 0:36:38MUSIC: Getting Nowhere Fast by The Wedding Present

0:36:46 > 0:36:49I thought we were... I thought we were in a rush to get home!

0:36:49 > 0:36:51We are. We are. Just... Deadlines just do it for me.

0:36:51 > 0:36:53I was the same at school.

0:36:53 > 0:36:54All right.

0:36:54 > 0:36:56Now you're starting to worry me.

0:37:02 > 0:37:04Oof!

0:37:06 > 0:37:09Well, as the old proverb goes,

0:37:09 > 0:37:12"The couple that shag in the car

0:37:12 > 0:37:15"make light work of the relationship shit."

0:37:18 > 0:37:20Not sure we're quite there yet, are we?

0:37:31 > 0:37:32Ralph!

0:37:32 > 0:37:34Ralph! Hang on a bit.

0:37:37 > 0:37:39Can I have a word?

0:37:39 > 0:37:41Oh, here, take that. Payment for today,

0:37:41 > 0:37:44in case the pair of you want to go for a drink or anything.

0:37:44 > 0:37:45You don't want to come, do you?

0:37:45 > 0:37:47Ha! No, no, you're all right.

0:37:47 > 0:37:48- Thank you. - Thank you.

0:37:48 > 0:37:51Nice to meet you, love. Come here.

0:37:52 > 0:37:54If it does get serious

0:37:54 > 0:37:57and you need another bloke to talk to, I can be that bloke.

0:37:57 > 0:37:58Right.

0:37:58 > 0:38:00- You know, condoms and all that. - Right.

0:38:00 > 0:38:03Cos if you're too embarrassed to buy 'em, I can do it.

0:38:03 > 0:38:06- It's all right. - No, the thing is with condoms

0:38:06 > 0:38:08is, like, you have to practise beforehand.

0:38:08 > 0:38:10It's like when you put a glove on

0:38:10 > 0:38:11and you can't get your fingers to the end?

0:38:11 > 0:38:14There's more to life than sex, Maurice.

0:38:22 > 0:38:24Eddie? Big tick for hopping!

0:38:37 > 0:38:38Hey!

0:38:38 > 0:38:40Hello, matey.

0:38:40 > 0:38:41Hello, love.

0:38:41 > 0:38:43Did you go to school?

0:38:43 > 0:38:46No, we were in Manchester, but we weren't at school.

0:38:46 > 0:38:48Look what I found in the car.

0:38:48 > 0:38:51You're back already. What happened?

0:38:51 > 0:38:53Eddie? What you still doing here?

0:38:53 > 0:38:55Got dragged into family life, you know how it is.

0:38:55 > 0:38:57More to the point, why are you here?

0:39:00 > 0:39:03All right. I'll try and salvage some of my weekend then.

0:39:03 > 0:39:05Thanks, Eddie, for lending us your flat!

0:39:05 > 0:39:06I'll see you Monday night.

0:39:08 > 0:39:11Now then, young man, what have you been up to?

0:39:11 > 0:39:13What did you do today? Did you have a nice time?

0:39:13 > 0:39:14Neat, Neat, Neat.

0:39:14 > 0:39:17The Damned. 1977.

0:39:17 > 0:39:21Emily did a poo. "Good Lord, Nicola, I need oxygen."

0:39:22 > 0:39:25Is that what Uncle Eddie said? What else happened?

0:39:25 > 0:39:27Hmm?

0:39:31 > 0:39:33So have you had a row then or what?

0:39:34 > 0:39:37We just couldn't settle at Eddie's.

0:39:37 > 0:39:40Loose women calling round day and night. Drug dealers.

0:39:40 > 0:39:43Stop it. Eddie's been great this weekend.

0:39:43 > 0:39:48Teaching Joe to ride a bike, I hear? How did it go?

0:39:53 > 0:39:56See, you just keep... You keep pedalling, keep pedalling,

0:39:56 > 0:39:57and the bike will take care of you.

0:39:57 > 0:40:00- He looks like a bear on a unicycle. - Stop it.

0:40:00 > 0:40:03Please tell me that Eddie doesn't succeed.

0:40:03 > 0:40:06You'd rather Joe couldn't ride a bike than admit another man

0:40:06 > 0:40:08could teach him?

0:40:08 > 0:40:12Joe, can you ride a bike yet?

0:40:12 > 0:40:13I can ride a bike.

0:40:14 > 0:40:17Well, nearly, nearly.

0:40:17 > 0:40:18I'm going to get you out on that bike

0:40:18 > 0:40:20and you'll be riding like Bradley Wiggins.

0:40:20 > 0:40:22Come and have a look, Mum.

0:40:22 > 0:40:23Oh, I'll look later, love.

0:40:23 > 0:40:27Come on, you ready, you ready?

0:40:29 > 0:40:31Ooh. Presents. Presents! Yes!

0:40:32 > 0:40:38OK. Joseph. Look!

0:40:45 > 0:40:47I like dinosaurs, don't I?

0:40:49 > 0:40:53Ooh, I got them in a bit of a hurry

0:40:53 > 0:40:55- but it's the thought that counts, doesn't it?- Really?

0:40:55 > 0:40:57I don't like big, big chocolate, do I?

0:40:57 > 0:41:01Right I've just got to run this stuff over to Sophie's.

0:41:01 > 0:41:04Thanks for holding the fort, love, and for looking after Joe.

0:41:04 > 0:41:06For all of eight hours.

0:41:10 > 0:41:11Come on.

0:41:13 > 0:41:16See, you just keep pedalling, and you keep pedalling,

0:41:16 > 0:41:18and the bike will take care of you.

0:41:19 > 0:41:20I've done that.

0:41:20 > 0:41:27# Working, keep on working, keep on working, keep on working. #

0:41:28 > 0:41:31No point taking her now. Half the weekend's gone.

0:41:31 > 0:41:33Stay for your tea at least.

0:41:34 > 0:41:36Fish fingers and mayonnaise.

0:41:36 > 0:41:39If I go now, I'll get back for the evening.

0:41:39 > 0:41:42Go on. I could practise my new presentation.

0:41:42 > 0:41:45I've done it for Emily but her feedback's a bit limited.

0:41:45 > 0:41:46Doggy. Raggy.

0:41:46 > 0:41:49You can't really say "Doggy" and "Raggy" and still sound angry.

0:41:49 > 0:41:50It's incongruous.

0:41:50 > 0:41:53I'm sorry about earlier. I don't know why...

0:41:53 > 0:41:56I didn't mean to upset you.

0:41:56 > 0:41:59It's just that...I spent a long time getting over you.

0:41:59 > 0:42:02Getting to this...where we can be mates. And Emily's parents.

0:42:02 > 0:42:05Yeah. Me too.

0:42:05 > 0:42:06I just don't want confusing

0:42:06 > 0:42:08by caring about who you're sleeping with.

0:42:08 > 0:42:09And I know I shouldn't care, but I do.

0:42:09 > 0:42:12- Even though you're sleeping with other women?- I'm not.

0:42:12 > 0:42:15- Oh. - Not for lack of opportunity.

0:42:15 > 0:42:16No, no, of course not.

0:42:16 > 0:42:18Oh, dear me, no.

0:42:18 > 0:42:19The, er, Robotics Study Group

0:42:19 > 0:42:21is known as "Stud Central" in the Union bar.

0:42:23 > 0:42:24I suppose I should be flattered.

0:42:24 > 0:42:27You're kind of missing the point.

0:42:27 > 0:42:29As a sensitive lad growing up under Maurice's roof,

0:42:29 > 0:42:33your sexual confidence might not necessarily be sky-high.

0:42:33 > 0:42:35Really? You always seemed confident with me.

0:42:35 > 0:42:37And... Did I? Did I, really?

0:42:37 > 0:42:40- Yeah.- Oh, good. Might just leave that there then.

0:42:40 > 0:42:42Go out on a high point.

0:42:43 > 0:42:46Look, the reason I haven't slept with anyone since you

0:42:46 > 0:42:48is partly exhaustion but, mainly,...

0:42:49 > 0:42:52..because I haven't met anyone I liked as much as you,

0:42:52 > 0:42:55so what would be the point?

0:42:55 > 0:42:57Practice?

0:42:57 > 0:43:00I don't think I'll forget what goes where.

0:43:00 > 0:43:02Like riding a bike.

0:43:02 > 0:43:04Oh, that hurts.

0:43:04 > 0:43:07It was nice today.

0:43:07 > 0:43:09You make it easier and Emily loves it.

0:43:09 > 0:43:12Is that why you kept tricking me into staying longer?

0:43:12 > 0:43:14I didn't ask you to stay.

0:43:14 > 0:43:16You just couldn't leave that questionnaire behind.

0:43:16 > 0:43:19Hmm. That bloody thing. What does it prove?

0:43:19 > 0:43:21I mean, look at you.

0:43:21 > 0:43:24GP, young child, beautiful home, on good terms with her ex.

0:43:25 > 0:43:28- On paper, you've got it all. - And?

0:43:28 > 0:43:30And you'd be the first to admit you're as insecure

0:43:30 > 0:43:32and screwed up as everybody else.

0:43:32 > 0:43:35I suspect your defensiveness about this process

0:43:35 > 0:43:37masks an underlying insecurity.

0:43:37 > 0:43:40Is that to go along with my very obvious surface insecurity?

0:43:40 > 0:43:43I thought we'd established you were actually confident.

0:43:45 > 0:43:48Oh, bloody hell. Holly! This is a shock...surprise.

0:43:48 > 0:43:49A nice surprise.

0:43:50 > 0:43:52I thought I'd find you here.

0:43:52 > 0:43:54This young lady came to my house, er, looking for you.

0:43:54 > 0:43:57I prayed for it to happen in your teenage years

0:43:57 > 0:43:58but, er, better late than never.

0:44:03 > 0:44:05Hi, I'm Holly,

0:44:05 > 0:44:07Eddie's girlfriend from Manchester.

0:44:08 > 0:44:10Eddie's Manchester girlfriend.

0:44:10 > 0:44:11I'm Nicola.

0:44:16 > 0:44:18Well, this is all very modern, hey?

0:44:20 > 0:44:22Very, er, modern.

0:44:24 > 0:44:27Next time you drive up, take the Kendal turning off the M6

0:44:27 > 0:44:28then the A590.

0:44:28 > 0:44:30It's quicker at the weekend.

0:44:30 > 0:44:32Thank you. I'll remember that.

0:44:33 > 0:44:34She all right?

0:44:34 > 0:44:35Snoring like Grandad.

0:44:35 > 0:44:37Farting like Grandad.

0:44:38 > 0:44:41So, Eddie tells me you're in medicine too.

0:44:41 > 0:44:42I'm an anaesthetist.

0:44:42 > 0:44:44That's how we met.

0:44:44 > 0:44:47I came round from a minor operation and found myself in a bar with her.

0:44:47 > 0:44:49He's always had a weakness for medical types.

0:44:49 > 0:44:51Fell over a lot as a child.

0:44:51 > 0:44:53Eddie made that joke on our first date.

0:44:53 > 0:44:56Did he? Ah, well, now you know where he heard it first.

0:44:56 > 0:44:58- And our third.- Did I?

0:45:00 > 0:45:02Sorry, I didn't know you had visitors.

0:45:02 > 0:45:05She doesn't. I think it's about time we got going anyway.

0:45:05 > 0:45:07Oh, sorry. Rebecca, this is Holly.

0:45:07 > 0:45:09Oh, right, Eddie's Manchester girlfriend.

0:45:09 > 0:45:11I prefer Holly.

0:45:11 > 0:45:12Course, sorry.

0:45:14 > 0:45:16Well, thanks for helping out with Joe all day.

0:45:17 > 0:45:19And thanks for not minding.

0:45:19 > 0:45:20I did mind actually.

0:45:21 > 0:45:22But I understood.

0:45:24 > 0:45:25Exactly.

0:45:31 > 0:45:33Bye-bye.

0:45:41 > 0:45:43He didn't want to go.

0:45:43 > 0:45:45I think he couldn't get out of the door quick enough.

0:45:45 > 0:45:46Only cos it was awkward.

0:45:46 > 0:45:49Am I really like her? I thought she was quite annoying.

0:45:51 > 0:45:52She's not as pretty as you.

0:45:52 > 0:45:55Rebecca, we're grown women, we don't do the comparison thing.

0:45:55 > 0:45:56It's demeaning.

0:45:56 > 0:45:59No, of course, but I know my stuff.

0:45:59 > 0:46:01And, I tell you, you and Eddie should be a family

0:46:01 > 0:46:02and I can make it happen.

0:46:03 > 0:46:05That's very kind,

0:46:05 > 0:46:07but in three months' time you'll be at Bristol Uni

0:46:07 > 0:46:10- having an emotional crisis of your own.- No, I won't.

0:46:10 > 0:46:11I've binned the offer.

0:46:11 > 0:46:13I'm not going to university.

0:46:14 > 0:46:15I'm not going anywhere.

0:46:16 > 0:46:18DOOR KNOCK

0:46:21 > 0:46:25- Hiya.- I know, it's not my idea of a great Saturday night either

0:46:25 > 0:46:27but are you free just to go through some of this stuff?

0:46:27 > 0:46:29Yeah. Yeah, course I am. Come in.

0:46:33 > 0:46:36If Mark's to get the college to take him, it's all in the wording.

0:46:36 > 0:46:38If he needs one-to-one maths support eight hours a week,

0:46:38 > 0:46:39quiet space, dancing girls,

0:46:39 > 0:46:41then we write that in and let them fight it.

0:46:41 > 0:46:42We do not let the Council suggest stuff

0:46:42 > 0:46:44because they will suggest the bare minimum

0:46:44 > 0:46:46and then say they can't even give you that.

0:46:46 > 0:46:48What, why are you looking so worried?

0:46:48 > 0:46:51Because if you don't stop soon and take a breath

0:46:51 > 0:46:53- you're going to explode and make a mess of the carpet.- Sorry.

0:46:53 > 0:46:56Sorry. I'm just really fired up about this stuff right now.

0:46:56 > 0:46:58I know. And thanks.

0:46:58 > 0:47:00Also, you need to get Mark to write about what he wants,

0:47:00 > 0:47:01in his own words.

0:47:01 > 0:47:03Cos it's harder to say no to him

0:47:03 > 0:47:05than some angry mother waving bits of paper around.

0:47:05 > 0:47:08DRUMMING

0:47:08 > 0:47:10Is that Mark?

0:47:10 > 0:47:12I really, really hope so.

0:47:13 > 0:47:15I'll tell him to ease up on the kick pedal.

0:47:15 > 0:47:17Oh, no, no, no! You don't have to...

0:47:17 > 0:47:19Mark!

0:47:19 > 0:47:20DRUMMING CONTINUES

0:47:20 > 0:47:23Mark!

0:47:23 > 0:47:24DOOR KNOCK

0:47:24 > 0:47:26Mark!

0:47:26 > 0:47:27DRUMMING STOPS

0:47:27 > 0:47:29INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

0:47:35 > 0:47:36Success.

0:47:36 > 0:47:39DRUMMING RESTARTS LOUDER

0:47:39 > 0:47:41SHE CHUCKLES

0:47:50 > 0:47:52This is the only double bed in the house

0:47:52 > 0:47:55so I'm thinking you'll be more comfortable in here.

0:47:55 > 0:47:57We won't be needing a double bed, Dad.

0:47:58 > 0:47:59Oh, right.

0:47:59 > 0:48:02What I mean is we can't let you give up your bed for us.

0:48:03 > 0:48:04Suit yourself

0:48:04 > 0:48:07but, just so you know, I'm having your bed, so it's going to be snug.

0:48:19 > 0:48:24Well, as Freudian nightmares go, this is right up there.

0:48:26 > 0:48:29Mum and Dad came back from Manchester early,

0:48:29 > 0:48:30so it can't be good, can it?

0:48:30 > 0:48:31No. Well...

0:48:33 > 0:48:35..it is quite hard to keep a marriage on track

0:48:35 > 0:48:37when you're living in separate cities.

0:48:37 > 0:48:39Right! So what if everything falls apart when I'm not here?

0:48:39 > 0:48:42We all like to think we're indispensable to our families

0:48:42 > 0:48:43but the truth is, none of us are.

0:48:43 > 0:48:47- It's different for me, though, isn't it? There's Joe for a start. - Joe will be fine.

0:48:49 > 0:48:51Not everyone gets him. James didn't.

0:48:51 > 0:48:53Becca, you're 19 years old.

0:48:53 > 0:48:56None of this is your responsibility.

0:48:56 > 0:48:58You don't get it, it is.

0:48:58 > 0:49:01You're bound to have attachment anxieties

0:49:01 > 0:49:02given your family situation.

0:49:02 > 0:49:05What? No. I'm not a case study, Nicola.

0:49:05 > 0:49:07We're all case studies in the end.

0:49:07 > 0:49:10- That's what Eddie was so angry about.- Oh,

0:49:10 > 0:49:13I thought Eddie was angry cos he couldn't teach Joe to ride his bike.

0:49:13 > 0:49:15We want the world to see us as we see ourselves.

0:49:17 > 0:49:20And we delude ourselves every day in order to survive.

0:49:20 > 0:49:23Who are we talking about now? Me or you?

0:49:25 > 0:49:27See? You're smart.

0:49:28 > 0:49:30Just go to university.

0:49:35 > 0:49:38Why don't I leave my car here and we'll travel back in yours?

0:49:38 > 0:49:40Well, you need your car and I need mine.

0:49:40 > 0:49:42Less romantic though.

0:49:42 > 0:49:45I think "romantic" finally gave up in your dad's bedroom.

0:49:46 > 0:49:48I'm really sorry about today

0:49:48 > 0:49:50but you do understand, don't you?

0:49:50 > 0:49:52You have a baby here, and an ex-wife,

0:49:52 > 0:49:53I knew that when we met.

0:49:53 > 0:49:55And family, and an autistic nephew.

0:49:55 > 0:49:57I understand all of that.

0:49:57 > 0:49:59It's just, you know, you'd set up a really nice day and everything.

0:49:59 > 0:50:01Yes, I was aware of that.

0:50:01 > 0:50:04I'm sorry. You sounded OK about it on the phone.

0:50:04 > 0:50:06I was. I am.

0:50:06 > 0:50:08But...

0:50:08 > 0:50:10..it feels as though you want me to prove I care

0:50:10 > 0:50:11with some kind of demonstrative outburst.

0:50:11 > 0:50:13No!

0:50:13 > 0:50:14I'm sorry.

0:50:15 > 0:50:18Though a slight outburst might be nice.

0:50:18 > 0:50:21I do care, if that's what you're worried about.

0:50:21 > 0:50:25I care enough about you not to want to disrupt your family life

0:50:25 > 0:50:27and I understand your insecurity because of your past

0:50:27 > 0:50:29but I drove all the way up here to find you,

0:50:29 > 0:50:34so, perhaps that gives you a clue as to how I feel.

0:50:34 > 0:50:36Now all you have to do is ask yourself how you feel.

0:50:49 > 0:50:51You still pick up, then.

0:50:52 > 0:50:56- Yes, I still pick up.- I'm trying to not, you know, crowd you.

0:50:56 > 0:51:01- Not, you know, be all over it. - You did all right.

0:51:01 > 0:51:05- Good. And I'm mustard with a mop and bucket.- So I saw.

0:51:05 > 0:51:08So if you need anything, or that, just say

0:51:08 > 0:51:10but I'm going to wait for you to call me.

0:51:15 > 0:51:19Do you want me to call you out of the window or phone?

0:51:21 > 0:51:22How do you mean?

0:51:23 > 0:51:25You're outside the house, aren't you?

0:51:27 > 0:51:28No.

0:51:41 > 0:51:43When did you first realise you weren't cut out for MI5?

0:51:50 > 0:51:55- Did they manage to fill in the whole thing?- Nearly. Amazing.

0:51:57 > 0:51:59Though they've left bike-riding empty for now.

0:52:08 > 0:52:14If I asked you to promise me that you wouldn't lose sight of me again,

0:52:14 > 0:52:16do you think you could do that?

0:52:18 > 0:52:22Well, I'll need a bigger telescope for when you're in Manchester.

0:52:22 > 0:52:23Could you?

0:52:25 > 0:52:28- Promise me?- Yeah, I promise.

0:52:28 > 0:52:29And I won't lose sight of you.

0:52:35 > 0:52:37At least we're not Eddie and Nicola.

0:52:39 > 0:52:40Yet.

0:52:41 > 0:52:43What's that supposed to mean?

0:52:43 > 0:52:45It's not supposed to mean anything.

0:52:45 > 0:52:47It supposed to be a joke.

0:52:49 > 0:52:50Right.

0:52:52 > 0:52:55Why do you always have to pick away at everything like that?

0:52:57 > 0:52:58I just wish...

0:52:58 > 0:53:00You just wish what?

0:53:02 > 0:53:05I just wish we could leave things alone for a bit.

0:53:05 > 0:53:06Just let things be.

0:53:09 > 0:53:11OK, fine, that's what we'll do.

0:53:13 > 0:53:14That's what we'll do.

0:53:19 > 0:53:22# There's a kind of hush

0:53:22 > 0:53:25# All over the world tonight

0:53:25 > 0:53:27# All over the world

0:53:27 > 0:53:31# You can hear the sounds of lovers in love

0:53:33 > 0:53:34# You know what I mean

0:53:34 > 0:53:36# Just the two of us

0:53:37 > 0:53:40# And nobody else in sight

0:53:40 > 0:53:42# There's nobody else

0:53:42 > 0:53:47# And I'm feeling good just holding you tight

0:53:49 > 0:53:53# So listen very carefully

0:53:53 > 0:53:57# Closer now and you will see what I mean

0:54:00 > 0:54:01# It isn't a dream

0:54:04 > 0:54:07# The only sound that you will hear... #

0:54:07 > 0:54:09RAPID FLUTTERING CLICKS

0:54:17 > 0:54:18What is that?

0:54:20 > 0:54:22I don't know.

0:54:24 > 0:54:25Oh, shit!

0:54:25 > 0:54:27Oh, I do. I do!

0:54:29 > 0:54:31I do, actually!

0:54:38 > 0:54:40Hey, he's doing it! He's bloody riding it!

0:54:40 > 0:54:42Alison!

0:54:42 > 0:54:45Joe's riding his bike without stabilisers!

0:54:47 > 0:54:49Did you teach him how to brake?

0:54:51 > 0:54:53MUSIC: Sound Of The Crowd by The Human League

0:55:08 > 0:55:11Hey, come on! Come on, Joe!

0:55:15 > 0:55:17I've done that now.

0:55:22 > 0:55:25# Get around town, get around town

0:55:25 > 0:55:29# Where the people look good Where the music is loud

0:55:29 > 0:55:32# Get around town No need to stand proud

0:55:32 > 0:55:35# Add your voice to the sound of the crowd

0:55:35 > 0:55:42# Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Wooaah!

0:55:44 > 0:55:46I'm not having Nicola use Joe

0:55:46 > 0:55:49to get her foothold in the autism industry.

0:55:49 > 0:55:51If there's anything that upsets you...

0:55:51 > 0:55:53All of it, Nicola. How about all of it?

0:55:53 > 0:55:55Nicola's just trying to help.

0:55:55 > 0:55:57She's turned our little boy into a freak show.

0:55:57 > 0:55:59I would never let anybody do that.

0:55:59 > 0:56:02- We make a good team, you and me, don't we?- Yeah, for now.

0:56:02 > 0:56:03What do you mean for now?

0:56:03 > 0:56:07It's taken me two years to get where you were with Joe.

0:56:07 > 0:56:09You were the accepting one.

0:56:09 > 0:56:12I finally get to where I think you are and you've moved.

0:56:12 > 0:56:13Louise. She's ended it.

0:56:13 > 0:56:15She does know she's ended it, doesn't she?

0:56:15 > 0:56:17Mum and Dad need me to stay.

0:56:17 > 0:56:19If something's wrong with them, something will be wrong with Joe.

0:56:19 > 0:56:21- He can't sort them out, can he? - And you can?