0:00:07 > 0:00:14This programme contains some scenes of a sexual nature.
0:01:33 > 0:01:41The thing about the moon is, it gives you the creeps with a capital K. Am I not right?
0:01:41 > 0:01:46It makes water look like silver, turns flotsam into the crown jewels
0:01:46 > 0:01:53and causes poor slobs in the cuckoo-house to think they are Jesus Christ or FW Woolworth.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56Am I not right?
0:01:56 > 0:02:04Also, it's cold. The sort of night when lonesome cats cry for empty hours on the broken slates.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10But tonight, there isn't a pussy in sight.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Not even a four-legged one.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15All good people have gone home.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19And some bad ones too.
0:02:30 > 0:02:35Oh, this is a night to freeze a pawnbroker's balls.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38But it'll soon get warm in here.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40That's the thing about gas.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44..Eh, Sonia?
0:02:44 > 0:02:49I hate the cold. I hate it as much as I hate plots and mysteries.
0:02:49 > 0:02:54I didn't know it was going to be YOU who came back with me.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57So what's going on?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Mind you, I'm not complaining.
0:03:01 > 0:03:08Amanda's very pretty...but thick as shit in the neck of a bottle.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17You're just as pretty, Sonia.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20You don't talk much though, do you?
0:03:20 > 0:03:25What are you trying to be? The Snow Queen?
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Be the Snow Queen, if you like.
0:03:28 > 0:03:35Pretend not to know anything about anything. But I'll find out whether you do or not.
0:03:35 > 0:03:40There's a cupboard in that Club with room for more than one, Sonia.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Maybe you ARE just one of the whores.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59Well, take your clothes off.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Give.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Maybe you ARE, at that.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Mo-ney.
0:04:07 > 0:04:12You don't have to be quite so bloody Russian about it.
0:04:12 > 0:04:13Mo-ney.
0:04:13 > 0:04:20You bitch. You greedy, suspicious, great big beautiful bitch.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Da, da, moya luiboff. Konyechno.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Spasseebo.
0:04:25 > 0:04:31I thought it was Amanda who was going to warm my lonely little bed.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34- We agreed on a price.- £15.
0:04:34 > 0:04:42No, no, listen, you little tart, it takes a shop girl a month to earn that sort of money. I agreed TEN.
0:04:42 > 0:04:47- And think yourself lucky. - Fifteen pounds.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50I see. VERY polite, aren't we?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Ask me nicely.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Go on, nicely.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05Say "please." Say "please" to Daddy.
0:05:09 > 0:05:14I see. It's Stalingrad all over, is it?
0:05:14 > 0:05:17MONEY RUSTLES
0:05:17 > 0:05:19One for my baby.
0:05:21 > 0:05:26Two for my love. And three to come again.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Is shit.
0:05:29 > 0:05:30What?
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Is shit. Mo-ney is.
0:05:38 > 0:05:45You stupid bitch! I've a good mind to stuff it down your throat!
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Are you off your head?
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Are you totally insane?
0:06:05 > 0:06:07Mo-ney.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11What are you trying to do? Make me feel small?
0:06:39 > 0:06:44'What are you trying to do? Make me feel small?'
0:06:44 > 0:06:49"What are you trying to do? Make me feel small?"
0:06:49 > 0:06:56- "What are you trying to do? Make me feel small?" - What did you say?
0:06:56 > 0:07:01- What did you say, man?- Where is it? - What?- The nuthouse door.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07We're almost there, little squirrel. We're almost there.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23- Wait for the man, right?- Right.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26- The cuckoo man, right?- Right.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Why?
0:07:59 > 0:08:03What's he got that for? Is this the British Museum?
0:08:08 > 0:08:10What's going on?
0:08:15 > 0:08:21BAND PLAYS "CRUISING DOWN THE RIVER"
0:08:36 > 0:08:39# Cruising down the river
0:08:39 > 0:08:43# On a Sunday afternoon
0:08:43 > 0:08:46# With one you love
0:08:46 > 0:08:49# The sun above
0:08:49 > 0:08:52# Waiting for the mo-oo-n
0:08:52 > 0:08:56# The old accordion playing
0:08:56 > 0:08:59# A sentimental tune.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04# Cruising down the river
0:09:04 > 0:09:08# On a Sunday afternoon.
0:09:08 > 0:09:13# The birds above All sing of love
0:09:13 > 0:09:16# A gentle, sweet refrain.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19# The winds around
0:09:19 > 0:09:23# All make a sound Like softly falling... #
0:09:23 > 0:09:31OK, fellas, that'll do. The words break my heart. We won't say like softly falling what though.
0:09:31 > 0:09:38There's a frog about to spawn in this old throat of mine. Keep your whistles dry.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Mr Marlow?
0:09:46 > 0:09:53- Yes. Are you the guy I've been waiting for since Sax stumbled upon the phone?- Sorry?
0:09:53 > 0:09:58The gent with the fat contract. The guy who loves the way I croon.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- Sorry, I...- But you liked the song?
0:10:01 > 0:10:06- It made a spider crawl up your throat, yes?- Yes. Well, sort of.
0:10:06 > 0:10:12- It's a tune for old ladies and puppy dogs.- Mr Marlow...
0:10:12 > 0:10:18- You didn't take it in. Other things syncopating, huh?- No. Sorry.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22Yellow mellow, curls at the edges, breaks, goes rotten.
0:10:22 > 0:10:28- I don't understand. - You're in trouble.- Yes, I am.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31- Dead trouble.- Look, er...
0:10:32 > 0:10:37- I'm told that you can help me, if anyone can.- Who said so?
0:10:37 > 0:10:42- John Bordington, my solicitor. - This must be a lulu.
0:10:42 > 0:10:48That overinflated toad hates my guts. I tend to agree with him.
0:10:48 > 0:10:53- He said you got results.- I get the jobs the polite guys pass over.
0:10:53 > 0:11:00I'm the piano tuner who's heavy on the pedal. OK, OK, so what's the story? Who's the dame?
0:11:00 > 0:11:05- How do you know...?- There's always a dame. Where's the body?
0:11:05 > 0:11:10- I'm sorry?- There's always a body. We both know that.
0:11:10 > 0:11:16You look pale, like you been eating fried eggs and green bananas.
0:11:16 > 0:11:23Who's trying to swing you into this number? And are you are nervous as you seem?
0:11:23 > 0:11:28"Yeah, I am as nervous as I seem."
0:11:35 > 0:11:41"Yellow mellow, curling at the edges, breaks, goes rotten."
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Oh, very good. Very funny.
0:11:45 > 0:11:50I have a degree of fondness for easily disposable things:
0:11:50 > 0:11:55Kleenex tissues, Bic pens, razor blades, cheap literature.
0:11:55 > 0:12:00Don't forget prescription forms and medical degrees.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04- He said, out of the side of his mouth.- What?
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Gibbon. How do you do, Mr Marlow?
0:12:07 > 0:12:11- I can't shake. - Of course not. Sorry.
0:12:11 > 0:12:18I wouldn't anyway. I'm here under protest. This is kidnapping.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21I see. I see. An abduction.
0:12:21 > 0:12:28Little men shouldn't sit places where their feet don't touch the floor, don't you think?
0:12:28 > 0:12:33It kind of demeans them. Makes me think of nursery rhymes.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36It must be very difficult for you.
0:12:36 > 0:12:43More difficult for me than for you. I can't creep up on people like I'm in a Marx Brothers film.
0:12:43 > 0:12:51- You don't want to talk to me. You don't want this.- What sharpness! I've underestimated you!
0:12:51 > 0:12:58Yet you came, not against your will, why? Why did you agree to be wheeled here?
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Gets me out of the ward.
0:13:00 > 0:13:08- What's that?- I said it makes a change from the bedpans and sick old farts talking in their sleep.
0:13:08 > 0:13:13Lets me see The Warp and Woof of Life in all its rich texture(!)
0:13:13 > 0:13:20- Where the cuckoo drops its egg, someone else's smelly nest. Yours. - This is pastiche.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23No, I don't like Italian food.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27- You can't keep it up. - Oh, little do you know!
0:13:29 > 0:13:37I suppose you've noticed that I've gone to the trouble of obtaining one of your...what do you call them?
0:13:37 > 0:13:45- It's not a novel, properly speaking. Not what Lawrence would call the one bright book of life?- No quotes.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47But you wouldn't call it a novel?
0:13:47 > 0:13:51Of course not. It has pages, that's all.
0:13:51 > 0:13:56Where did you get it from? Certainly not a bookshop.
0:13:56 > 0:14:02Why did you get it? What cruelty do you have in mind? Not reading it!
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Clues.
0:14:04 > 0:14:12- What?- It's a detective story. That's what you're supposed to find in detective stories. Am I right?
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Oh my God. You CAN'T do it.
0:14:15 > 0:14:24I know the clues are supposed to point to the murderer, but what if they reveal the victim more clearly?
0:14:24 > 0:14:30Are you going to keep on like this? You think it will start me talking?
0:14:30 > 0:14:35You're wrong. If you think you're being friendly and reassuring...
0:14:35 > 0:14:39You think you're being interesting, don't you?
0:14:39 > 0:14:47- You think you're being quite a character. Well, you're barking up the wrong trouser leg.- So I see.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56May I go back please? I'm bored.
0:14:56 > 0:15:01I wish to be returned to the ward. It's vivid and exciting there.
0:15:01 > 0:15:06It must almost seem like home to you. How long have you been there?
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Ten, eleven weeks.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13- Do you have any visitors? - Don't want any.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16How often have you been in hospital?
0:15:16 > 0:15:23You must have all this. There's an army of you filling in cards, poking, prying. Why not look it up?
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Tell me, how many times?
0:15:26 > 0:15:30Thirteen, fourteen, something like that.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Quite an old lag, then, aren't you?
0:15:34 > 0:15:39- Does your wife...- I'm not married. - Do you stop her...- I'm not married!
0:15:41 > 0:15:44I see.
0:15:51 > 0:15:56Stop it! Stop staring at me. Put your piggy eyes somewhere else!
0:15:56 > 0:16:02Call the porter. I want to go back to the ward. I won't talk to you!
0:16:02 > 0:16:05You don't like women, do you?
0:16:05 > 0:16:10What sort do you mean? Young ones? Old ones? Fat ones? Thin ones?
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Slags? Sluts? Be more specific!
0:16:13 > 0:16:18I'll rephrase that. I'm fairly sure that you think you DO like them,
0:16:18 > 0:16:23that you even think that they are capable of being idolised,
0:16:23 > 0:16:26but you don't like sex.
0:16:26 > 0:16:32- You may think you do. We think about it a lot.- You do, you dirty sod!
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Yes, I do.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37But, listen to yourself.
0:16:37 > 0:16:44Isn't it clear that you regard sexual intercourse with considerable distaste?
0:16:44 > 0:16:48Or, what is more to the point, with FEAR.
0:16:48 > 0:16:53Is that a fair statement or am I totally wide of the mark?
0:16:53 > 0:17:00Isn't it the case that you regard sex with fear and distaste, even loathing?
0:17:00 > 0:17:05- Oh, my God. This is SO sick. - Here for example...
0:17:05 > 0:17:10- I can't believe this. - I'll read you a passage.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14I'd rather you shoved it up your arse.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Fine.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Jig-jig. >
0:18:05 > 0:18:10Yeah, jig-bloody-jig. And us stuck out here in the cold.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Ssh.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22HEAVY BREATHING
0:18:38 > 0:18:42DR. GIBBON: I don't wish to upset you, Mr Marlow...
0:18:42 > 0:18:49No, let me be more precise. I do not wish to upset you UNNECESSARILY. I think you need help.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52I think you know that you need help.
0:18:52 > 0:18:57And you're too intelligent or too aware of your condition to deny it.
0:18:57 > 0:19:04Most chronic dermatological patients are on tranquillizers or anti-depressants,
0:19:04 > 0:19:07almost as a matter of routine.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11Skin is, after all, extremely personal, is it not?
0:19:11 > 0:19:19The temptation is to believe that the sins and poisons of the mind have somehow erupted on to the skin.
0:19:19 > 0:19:25"Unclean!" you shout, ringing your bell, warning us to keep clear.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27The leper in the Bible, yes?
0:19:27 > 0:19:31But that's nonsense, you know.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35DO you know?
0:19:36 > 0:19:40Well, one part of you does, I'm sure.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43You can be helped.
0:19:43 > 0:19:48- Moreover, Mr Marlow, I think- I- can help.
0:19:48 > 0:19:56You can. Yes, you can. If you can give me a couple of hundred barbiturates, you can.
0:19:56 > 0:20:01Otherwise, stop pissing into the wind, listening to your own voice.
0:20:01 > 0:20:07Stop confusing wisdom with smugness and send me back to my bed.
0:20:07 > 0:20:14- I don't care too much for your manners, Mr Marlow.- Yeah, I've had complaints. Sorry about that.
0:20:14 > 0:20:22- Be glad I don't crack my knuckles, too.- You didn't set out to mimic stuff, did you?- What stuff?
0:20:22 > 0:20:27- "It's not raining in the foothills" sort of stuff.- WHAT sort of stuff?
0:20:27 > 0:20:30OK, so you won't play ball.
0:20:30 > 0:20:38Look, I'd heard that psychiatrists, psycho-analysts, or whatever you are, are very peculiar people,
0:20:38 > 0:20:43but really, I find it impossible to understand a single word you say.
0:20:43 > 0:20:49Having read your prose, I feel you did not set out to write like that.
0:20:49 > 0:20:56- What would you rather have written about?- If I had the talent? Come on!
0:20:56 > 0:21:00- Be a critic! - OK, if you had the talent.
0:21:00 > 0:21:06One-liners in Christmas crackers, speeches for Mrs Thatcher,
0:21:06 > 0:21:13obituaries...or is that the same thing? Verses in birthday cards, captions for Prince Andrew.
0:21:13 > 0:21:21- There's NO telling what I could have done.- It won't be used in evidence against you, you know.
0:21:21 > 0:21:27- What won't?- You telling me what it was you wanted to write.- Forget it!
0:21:27 > 0:21:30- I have. Long ago.- Tell me.
0:21:32 > 0:21:40- I would like to have used my pen to praise a loving God and all His loving creation.- Really?
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Moreover...
0:21:43 > 0:21:51I would like to have seen hosts of radiant and translucent angels spinning shafts of golden light
0:21:51 > 0:21:55deeper and deeper into the blue caverns of heaven.
0:21:59 > 0:22:06And I wanted to play what used to be called inside right for Fulham and England.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10- Why Fulham? - All right, be rude, I don't care.
0:22:10 > 0:22:14We're used to slander at Craven Cottage. Goals, no.
0:22:14 > 0:22:22- I'm not very interested in football. - You should be, as a psychiatrist. That's where all the nutters go.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26But Fulham's where you go to be alone.
0:22:26 > 0:22:34Here's a paragraph that sits rather oddly on the page. It doesn't belong in a detective story, in my opinion.
0:22:34 > 0:22:41Oh, I see. So psychiatry is not nasty enough for you. You still want to go into literary criticism.
0:22:41 > 0:22:49I should be careful, going down that slope, with swine on all sides of you. Grunt, grunt.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Listen to this, a purple passage.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55No, a BLUE one, I hope.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59"Mouth sucking wet and slack at mouth,
0:22:59 > 0:23:02"tongue chafing against tongue,
0:23:02 > 0:23:05"limb thrusting upon limb,
0:23:05 > 0:23:09- "skin rubbing at skin..." - Oink, oink.
0:23:09 > 0:23:14"Faces contort and stretch into a helpless leer,
0:23:14 > 0:23:19- "organs spurt out smelly stains and sticky betrayals."- Oink, oink.
0:23:19 > 0:23:24"This is the sweaty farce out of which we are born.
0:23:24 > 0:23:31"We are implicated without choice in the slippery catastrophe of the copulations
0:23:31 > 0:23:33"which splatter us into existence.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36"We are spat out of fevered loins.
0:23:36 > 0:23:43"We are the by-blows of grunts and groans and pantings in a rumpled and creaking bed.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45"Welcome."
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Yeah.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50The Milk of Paradise.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Good. Now we can talk.
0:24:56 > 0:25:01What was it Kipling said about women and cigars? Never mind.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04How would you know?
0:25:04 > 0:25:07WHAT do you know?
0:25:10 > 0:25:12How much do you know?
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Oh, I'm sorry.
0:25:16 > 0:25:23I'm afraid this could make a very nasty burn and you've such lovely skin, Sonia. Like porcelain.
0:25:23 > 0:25:28Do you know the origin of the word "porcelain"?
0:25:30 > 0:25:33No, of course not. Why should you?
0:25:33 > 0:25:37Doesn't it disgust you, what you do?
0:25:37 > 0:25:43Being paid to stretch out and let a stranger enter you.
0:25:45 > 0:25:50The NKVD must have trained you well. I do know who you work for.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08This is the dead time, isn't it?
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Dead time in a dead city.
0:26:12 > 0:26:19Feel the nothingness pressing down, pressing down on the whole dirty place.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22It's cold out there.
0:26:22 > 0:26:27The river looks as though it's made of tar, sludging along.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30Full of filth.
0:26:37 > 0:26:42- There's two men out there. Who are they?- Are you sure?
0:26:42 > 0:26:47It's half past four in the morning. They can't be there by accident.
0:26:47 > 0:26:51- Is there a back way?- What? - Another way out?
0:26:51 > 0:26:57- Who are they? What do they want? - Way out, quick!- Who are they after?
0:26:57 > 0:27:00- Let go.- Who are they?- Let me go!
0:27:00 > 0:27:03You're not going anywhere.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Oh!
0:27:08 > 0:27:14I wasn't quite fully dressed, you see. I couldn't go after her.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18- I think she wasn't quite right in the head.- Who is?
0:27:18 > 0:27:21Well, there you are, who is?
0:27:21 > 0:27:24Who, indeed?
0:27:24 > 0:27:28Why should she butt you like that? What did she say?
0:27:28 > 0:27:33She was too frightened to speak. She gabbled something in Russian.
0:27:33 > 0:27:40- Where did you pick up that lingo? - The army. I interviewed Red Army soldiers at the end of the war.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43- You're not in the army now?- No.
0:27:43 > 0:27:48Six months ago, you were interviewing the comrades,
0:27:48 > 0:27:55- then that Russian dame went missing. Did she know something about you?- I don't know.
0:27:55 > 0:28:02- You're wasting my time. - I REALLY don't know. Mr Marlow, I swear before God...
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Swear on something you BELIEVE in.
0:28:05 > 0:28:12I swear on my mother's grave that Sonia was alive and unharmed when she left my place.
0:28:12 > 0:28:20- Who says different?- I think I'm going to be arrested. The police have told me not to leave town.
0:28:20 > 0:28:25They don't believe there were two men outside the house that night.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29It seems the girl never went back to her flat.
0:28:29 > 0:28:34- Where's that?- Queensway. She lives with Amanda.- Who's she?
0:28:34 > 0:28:38- The girl in the nightclub. - Another whore?- Well...
0:28:38 > 0:28:41- How would you put it?- Not that way.
0:28:41 > 0:28:48Dog shit smells foul and sticks to the bottom of your shoe no matter what you call it.
0:28:48 > 0:28:56Don't be mealy-mouthed around me. You've stepped in something nasty and you want me to clean it up.
0:28:56 > 0:29:02- I'm the brush and shovel. - I want somebody to find that girl.
0:29:02 > 0:29:08Or to find these two men, or to prove nothing nasty happened to her from my hands.
0:29:08 > 0:29:13- But it did.- What?!- Something nasty did happen to her at your hands.
0:29:13 > 0:29:17- I'm telling the truth. - I didn't say you weren't.
0:29:17 > 0:29:25- But something nasty did happen when she was with you. Isn't that what her mother would think?- Her mother?
0:29:25 > 0:29:31- For God's sake!- You just swore on your own mother's grave.
0:29:31 > 0:29:38Mr Marlow, aren't you being unduly censorious for this day and age?
0:29:38 > 0:29:42- What's the day? What's the age? - I'll pay you well.
0:29:42 > 0:29:47You don't know how much I want yet. I'm not as cheap as I look.
0:29:47 > 0:29:54I'll pay whatever you ask but I'm not paying you to make me feel small.
0:29:54 > 0:29:58You don't have to. That's thrown in without charge.
0:30:02 > 0:30:04Hey, man, this is bad.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08You have got this bad.
0:30:08 > 0:30:11Thank you. Thank you very much.
0:30:11 > 0:30:14- What bring this on?- Camay.
0:30:14 > 0:30:18- What?- Camay. That perfume worth a guinea an ounce.
0:30:27 > 0:30:29I tell you something for free.
0:30:29 > 0:30:36- Yeah, be like the Health Service used to be.- Hey, listen, this is serious business.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42Don't eat tomatoes. D'you read me?
0:30:42 > 0:30:48- I hears you.- You try it. You'll see. No tomatoes. I'm telling you.
0:30:48 > 0:30:52- I'll try.- Do you ever shit?
0:30:52 > 0:30:57- What?- D'you ever shit? - Ehm... Well...occasionally.
0:30:57 > 0:31:01Yeah?! Well, you look back at it after tomatoes.
0:31:02 > 0:31:05It's the pips.
0:31:06 > 0:31:09They're there, man, ready to grow!
0:31:09 > 0:31:12The pips in your poop.
0:31:12 > 0:31:14Waste not, want not.
0:31:14 > 0:31:21Lay off them love apples, man, they are NO good. D'you register?
0:31:21 > 0:31:25- Registered. Yes. Thanks very much. - Good.
0:31:25 > 0:31:27- Be seeing you.- Bye-bye.
0:31:31 > 0:31:33Tomatoes!
0:31:33 > 0:31:38Yes, of course. Why didn't I think of that?
0:31:45 > 0:31:48Right, come on, George. Come on.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50Oh!
0:31:50 > 0:31:55Gawd! Somebody must have poured boiling fat over that one.
0:31:55 > 0:32:02We don't make those sort of remarks in here. Shut your mouth, George.
0:32:02 > 0:32:10- This will be your bed. Nice clean sheets, George. - I won't get in. I won't stay.
0:32:10 > 0:32:13Now, now, Mr Adams. Best place, George.
0:32:13 > 0:32:20I've never been ill in me life and I'm not ill now. You're not getting me in that bed.
0:32:20 > 0:32:23It's my life, not nobody else's.
0:32:23 > 0:32:31- I'll draw the curtains, then you can undress in privacy. - In what?- In your new pyjamas.
0:32:31 > 0:32:37I'm not wearing bleedin' pyjamas. You're not getting them on me!
0:32:37 > 0:32:41- Hot! - < Stop it, George.
0:32:41 > 0:32:48- No more messing about!- You can't bloody wait, can you?- George! - You just can't wait.
0:32:48 > 0:32:56- You'll be in the first carriage, right behind the bleedin' hearse, laughing your head off.- George!
0:32:56 > 0:33:00- Stop mucking me about.- Oh! - Gently does it!
0:33:00 > 0:33:07I'll bloody haunt you, I will. I'll be back, muvver, I'll be back!
0:33:07 > 0:33:09Hot.
0:33:09 > 0:33:16What sort of bloody pillow is this? Put your head on that and you'll suffocate.
0:33:16 > 0:33:20- Leave me alone! - George, I'm warning you...
0:33:20 > 0:33:27- There's no need for all this fuss. - Git off of me, you bloody old cow! Leave me alone.
0:33:27 > 0:33:31- Mrs Adams! What on earth?! - You bloody 'urt me.
0:33:31 > 0:33:35It's the only way, Sister. Give 'im one.
0:33:35 > 0:33:43It's the only way to deal with him. I know. I've 'ad it for too long, years and years of it.
0:33:45 > 0:33:50Give 'im one. He's not strong enough to give you one back.
0:33:51 > 0:33:54Not now, he ain't.
0:33:54 > 0:34:01GEORGE'S SOBBING CONTINUES, MIXED WITH BIRDSONG
0:34:38 > 0:34:43Our Father, which art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy name,
0:34:43 > 0:34:47Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, On earth as it is in Heaven.
0:34:47 > 0:34:50Give us this day our daily bread,
0:34:50 > 0:34:55And forgive us our trespasses As we forgive them Who trespass against us...
0:34:55 > 0:35:00BING CROSBY AND THE ANDREWS SISTERS: # Oh, give me land, lots of land
0:35:00 > 0:35:02# Under starry skies above
0:35:02 > 0:35:06# Don't fence me in
0:35:06 > 0:35:12# Let me ride through the wide open country that I love
0:35:12 > 0:35:16# Don't fence me in.
0:35:16 > 0:35:22# Let me be by myself in the evening breeze
0:35:22 > 0:35:27# And listen to the murmur of the cotton wood trees
0:35:27 > 0:35:30# Send me off for ever,
0:35:30 > 0:35:36# But I ask you, please - Don't fence me in
0:35:36 > 0:35:43# Just turn me loose, Let me saddle my old saddle Underneath the western sky
0:35:45 > 0:35:51# On my kayoose Let me wander over yonder
0:35:51 > 0:35:55# Till I see the mountains rise
0:35:55 > 0:36:02# I want to ride to the ridge Where the west commences... #
0:36:02 > 0:36:06Put thick racket off, ut?
0:36:07 > 0:36:10Tis, yunnit. Get on thee wick.
0:36:10 > 0:36:16# ..And I can't stand fences. Don't fence me in. #
0:36:32 > 0:36:38- I like the Andrews Sisters. I like Bing Crosby.- Oh, ay. Well. And I do.
0:36:40 > 0:36:44GRANCHER TAKES A COUGHING FIT
0:36:52 > 0:36:54GRANCHER SPITS
0:36:54 > 0:37:00Lovely bit of plum. Thou cosin't buyt plum, not for jam.
0:37:00 > 0:37:03A plum don't like cooking.
0:37:03 > 0:37:11Him a' got too much skin. Give I stro'bry any day. I'd rather have stro'bry jam any day of the week.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27- God Almighty!- What?
0:37:28 > 0:37:33- What's the matter?- How can anybody eat with that going on?!
0:37:33 > 0:37:36What's up wi' her NOW?
0:37:36 > 0:37:44Him can't help it. It's no joke, that coal dust in the lungs, what's our Dad supposed to do?
0:37:44 > 0:37:48- What? - He can go outside if we're eating.
0:37:48 > 0:37:54Have him got to go outside for a bit of a cough in his own home?!
0:37:54 > 0:38:01You call that a bit of a cough? More like a bleedin' avalanche!
0:38:21 > 0:38:24MRS MARLOW: You know it turns me right off!
0:38:24 > 0:38:28GRAN: Fuss, fuss, fuss!
0:38:28 > 0:38:33Where's thou been, our Philip? Tea's been ready half hour ago.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35It's not fuss. It turns me up!
0:38:35 > 0:38:40- Then thou knows what thou can do.- Now, our Mam.
0:38:40 > 0:38:45"Now, our Mam," why don't you stick up for me for once? Christ almighty!
0:38:45 > 0:38:48GRAN: Language!
0:38:48 > 0:38:53Whose house is it? That's all I da want to know. Whose furniture?
0:38:53 > 0:39:00Have Dad and me got to be told what to do and what not to do at our time of life in our own place?
0:39:00 > 0:39:06Is that all you can say? Can't you change the bloody tune sometimes?
0:39:06 > 0:39:12- - No cussing. - I won't have that in me own home. - Mam!
0:39:12 > 0:39:17We never wanted this to happen. Never wanted to end up like this.
0:39:17 > 0:39:22Let's have our bit of tea. I be sick at heart with this squabbling.
0:39:22 > 0:39:27Where have you been? Why are you always late for your tea?
0:39:27 > 0:39:31- Where've you bin? - Didn't you hear me calling?- No.
0:39:31 > 0:39:37- You bin mooching about in them woods again?- Chunt natural.
0:39:37 > 0:39:44I wanted you to go to the shop. I've a good mind you won't get any tea at all.
0:39:44 > 0:39:48Oh, him got to have his little bit of tay.
0:39:48 > 0:39:54Got to put some gristle in them arms, antcha, o'butty?
0:39:54 > 0:39:57Sit up at table. There's a good boy.
0:39:57 > 0:40:01Make a soldier of tha. I'll decide that!
0:40:01 > 0:40:04He's my son!
0:40:04 > 0:40:07Philip, no tea for you.
0:40:07 > 0:40:12Betty, him's got to have his bit of tea.
0:40:12 > 0:40:14You gutless bugger!
0:40:19 > 0:40:24I've never heard the like before! Bist thou going to put up with that?
0:40:24 > 0:40:27< I'd smack her one, I 'ood.
0:40:27 > 0:40:32Shut up! Keep out of it, you interfering old cow!
0:40:33 > 0:40:36Get out.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40Get theeself out!
0:40:40 > 0:40:44- Get out of this house! - Don't, our Mam.
0:40:44 > 0:40:49- I would if your son was any sort of a man!- Betty.
0:40:49 > 0:40:56It's his job to find us a place, instead of being squashed up in this pokey hole!
0:40:56 > 0:41:01'It's me. It's my fault, mine. Me, it's all my doing.
0:41:01 > 0:41:06'It's me, my fault, mine. It's me. It's all my doing.'
0:41:13 > 0:41:16Hey.
0:41:21 > 0:41:24Hey, please.
0:41:25 > 0:41:27Please, hey...call the...
0:41:27 > 0:41:29Hey.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33Please, I need the...nurse.
0:41:38 > 0:41:44- MR MARLOW: - # I'm as restless as a willow in a wind-storm
0:41:44 > 0:41:48# I'm as jumpy as a puppet on a string.
0:41:50 > 0:41:54# I'd say that I had spring fever
0:41:55 > 0:41:59# But I know it isn't spring.
0:41:59 > 0:42:05# I am starry-eyed and vaguely discontented,
0:42:05 > 0:42:10# Like a nightingale without a song to sing.
0:42:11 > 0:42:16# Oh, why should I have spring fever
0:42:16 > 0:42:21# When it isn't even spring?
0:42:22 > 0:42:27# I keep wishing I was somewhere else...
0:42:28 > 0:42:32# Walking down a strange new street
0:42:33 > 0:42:37# Hearing words That I have never heard
0:42:37 > 0:42:42# From a girl I've yet to meet
0:42:43 > 0:42:48# I'm as busy as a spider spinning daydreams.
0:42:48 > 0:42:53# I'm as giddy as a baby on a swing
0:42:54 > 0:42:58# I haven't seen a crocus or a rosebud
0:42:58 > 0:43:04# Or a robin on the wing
0:43:04 > 0:43:09# But I feel so gay In a melancholy way
0:43:09 > 0:43:15# That it might as well be spring
0:43:15 > 0:43:22# It mi-ght as we-ll be spring
0:43:47 > 0:43:53# I'm as busy as a spider spinning daydreams
0:43:53 > 0:43:59# I'm as giddy as a baby on a swing
0:43:59 > 0:44:05# I haven't seen a crocus or a rosebud
0:44:05 > 0:44:10# Or a robin on the wing
0:44:10 > 0:44:15# But I feel so gay in a melancholy way
0:44:15 > 0:44:20# That it might as well be spring
0:44:20 > 0:44:25# Oh, it mi-ght as well be-e...
0:44:25 > 0:44:29# Spri-i-ing. #
0:44:49 > 0:44:57There yunt nobody round here as can hold a candle to thee father as far as the warbling is concerned, boy.
0:44:57 > 0:45:03Him's too good to be down the pit. Him ought to be up there in lights.
0:45:03 > 0:45:06You see if I byunt right.
0:45:21 > 0:45:23Bist thou all right, o' but?
0:45:23 > 0:45:25Aye.
0:45:29 > 0:45:34Order! Order! Come on now, let's have a bit of order.
0:45:34 > 0:45:39We've heard the husband, now for his missis. Mrs Marlow will now play...
0:45:39 > 0:45:42"The Rustle Of Spring".
0:45:42 > 0:45:46And that chunt nern a cowboy song, mind!
0:45:46 > 0:45:50CLASSICAL MUSIC
0:46:21 > 0:46:23< Pay attention.
0:46:23 > 0:46:27I want you to look at my finger.
0:46:27 > 0:46:32Mr Adams, please give me your attention. Look at my finger.
0:46:32 > 0:46:35What for?
0:46:35 > 0:46:38It's just a routine test.
0:46:38 > 0:46:43Hold my finger with your eyes. JUST your eyes. That's it.
0:46:45 > 0:46:47Up.
0:46:47 > 0:46:49Down.
0:46:52 > 0:46:57Time for your greasing, Mr Marlow. Sorry to disturb you.
0:47:02 > 0:47:05< Just your eyes, Mr Adams.
0:47:05 > 0:47:07< Look at my finger!
0:47:15 > 0:47:18Now, relax your legs.
0:47:18 > 0:47:20Hoy, you bloody hit me!
0:47:20 > 0:47:25- Of course, I didn't hit you. - You bloody did. Ow!
0:47:25 > 0:47:31- Bleedin' 'ammers on my bloody knee. - I am simply testing your reflexes.
0:47:31 > 0:47:34I'll have the law on you!
0:47:34 > 0:47:39We've got a right one here, by the sounds of it.
0:47:43 > 0:47:47..Her first name? Your wife's first name is?
0:47:47 > 0:47:53- What's her name? Her Christian name, Mr Adams?- I'm buggered if I know.
0:47:53 > 0:48:01But you... Surely you... What do you call her? You must call her something.
0:48:01 > 0:48:03Yeah. And I'm not telling you what.
0:48:03 > 0:48:08- I'll be done after this. - What, no tablets?
0:48:08 > 0:48:10- Sorry?- What sort of doctor are you?!
0:48:10 > 0:48:16Just tell me, if you would be so kind, what name you give your wife.
0:48:16 > 0:48:24- < Come on, what do you call her? What name do you use when you want her attention?- What?
0:48:24 > 0:48:28Do you say, "Mary, may I have some tea?"
0:48:28 > 0:48:30Oh-ho.
0:48:30 > 0:48:32Her name, what do you call her?
0:48:32 > 0:48:35Mum. I call her Mum.
0:48:37 > 0:48:41What the bleedin' hell else should I call her?
0:48:47 > 0:48:52Life is a Cabaret, old chum. In here, it is.
0:48:52 > 0:48:54- Drink.- Hang about.
0:48:54 > 0:48:57- Drink.- Are you in pain?
0:48:57 > 0:49:00Are you in much pain?
0:49:00 > 0:49:03Do you understand what I'm saying?
0:49:03 > 0:49:05Mr Marlow?
0:49:10 > 0:49:14- You must drink, there's a good boy.- (Piano...)
0:49:14 > 0:49:17- Pain, did you say?- On the piano.
0:49:17 > 0:49:19Never mind the piano, drink this.
0:49:20 > 0:49:22Philip, drink.
0:49:22 > 0:49:27- I'm going to fetch your doctor. Come along, now.- Spring.
0:49:27 > 0:49:31- No, it's tap water. - "The Rustle Of Spring."
0:49:31 > 0:49:34- Mr Marlow?- Spring.
0:49:50 > 0:49:53Yeah...water.
0:50:03 > 0:50:05Hello.
0:50:07 > 0:50:09Guess.
0:50:28 > 0:50:31Caught us, have you, Marlow?
0:50:31 > 0:50:34Philip!
0:50:34 > 0:50:38Hey, why don't you join us, then? Come on.
0:50:38 > 0:50:41Hey, don't be a spoilsport!
0:50:41 > 0:50:43Philip!
0:50:43 > 0:50:46Hey, come back! Don't be silly!
0:50:47 > 0:50:49Come back!
0:50:49 > 0:50:51Phi-lip!
0:50:52 > 0:50:54Phi-lip!
0:51:00 > 0:51:04'Why is it only THIS boy who knows the answer?
0:51:04 > 0:51:09'Why is it only Philip who has his hand up? Always Philip.
0:51:09 > 0:51:11'The capital of Iceland?'
0:51:11 > 0:51:17- Reykjavik, Miss.- Correct. Good boy. You put the others to shame.
0:51:17 > 0:51:26'Who can tell me the name of the very brave and good man who wrote the "Pilgrim's Progress"? Nicola?
0:51:26 > 0:51:28John Bunyan. 'Correct. Good girl.
0:51:28 > 0:51:31'You put the others to shame.'
0:51:31 > 0:51:35'The new President of the United States of America?
0:51:35 > 0:51:38'Harry S Truman, Miss.'
0:52:11 > 0:52:16Clever Dick! Clever Dick! Makes me sick!
0:52:16 > 0:52:20Clever Dick! Clever Dick! Give her arse a lick!
0:52:20 > 0:52:24Clever Dick! Clever Dick! Makes me sick!
0:52:24 > 0:52:28Clever Dick! Clever Dick! Give her arse a lick!
0:52:28 > 0:52:32Clever Dick! Clever Dick! Makes me sick!
0:52:32 > 0:52:36Clever Dick! Clever Dick! Give her arse a lick!
0:52:36 > 0:52:38CHILDREN'S LAUGHTER
0:53:17 > 0:53:24When I grow up, I'm going to be the first man to live for ever and ever.
0:53:24 > 0:53:31In my opinion, you don't have to die, not unless you want to. And I byunt never going to want to.
0:53:31 > 0:53:37When I grow up, I be going to leave the light on ALL NIGHT, I be!
0:53:37 > 0:53:44I be going to have books, on shelves, mind. Shelves just for books.
0:53:44 > 0:53:51When I grow up, I'm going to have a whole tin of evaporated milk on a whole tin of peaches, I be.
0:53:51 > 0:53:55I bloody be. I bloody damn buggering well be!
0:53:55 > 0:53:58Oy! And I shall cuss.
0:53:58 > 0:54:03D'you know, tell thou what, when I grow up,
0:54:03 > 0:54:07everything, EVERYTHING will be all right.
0:54:07 > 0:54:10Won't it? Won't it, God, eh?
0:54:10 > 0:54:15Thou's like me a bit, doesn't, God?
0:54:15 > 0:54:18When I grow up, I'm going to be...
0:54:18 > 0:54:21a detective.
0:54:22 > 0:54:29'I'll find out things. I'll find out. I'll find out who done it!'
0:54:29 > 0:54:31Cuck-oo.
0:54:32 > 0:54:34Cuck-oo.
0:54:37 > 0:54:44MR MARLOW WHISTLES "BIRDSONG AT EVENTIDE"
0:56:48 > 0:56:50I...
0:56:50 > 0:56:53can't seem to...
0:56:53 > 0:56:57I can't clap my hands. I can't.
0:56:57 > 0:57:00Not even for my dear old dad.
0:57:02 > 0:57:05Ah, but thou doesn't want to, dost?
0:57:05 > 0:57:10- Don't want to?- You byunt interested in clapping thee father now, be ya?
0:57:10 > 0:57:17- Thou never give him credit when he was alive! Got too big for thee boots.- What do you mean?
0:57:17 > 0:57:21Thou knows very well what I mean, you cocky bugger.
0:57:21 > 0:57:24Are you trying to say...
0:57:24 > 0:57:29- Listen, are you saying that my dad is dead?- Dead?!
0:57:31 > 0:57:37Aye! 'Course him is! Dead and gone, and nobody to care yuppence.
0:57:38 > 0:57:40No.
0:57:41 > 0:57:46I have so much to say to him. I need to speak to him very badly.
0:57:47 > 0:57:51Don't be stupid! He can't be! Not my Dad.
0:57:51 > 0:57:54Oh, him's dead.
0:57:54 > 0:57:58Him's dead all right, dead and buried long since.
0:57:58 > 0:58:05Listen! That WAS him, wasn't it? That was my dad doing the birds?
0:58:05 > 0:58:07That was my dad up on the platform?
0:58:09 > 0:58:13Dad! Dad! Over here, o'butty! Over here!
0:58:13 > 0:58:17Thou knowest how much I care about tha.
0:58:24 > 0:58:27But he was here. I saw him.
0:58:29 > 0:58:32My lovely, dear old Dad...
0:58:33 > 0:58:37That was him whistling. I heard him.
0:58:38 > 0:58:41I heard him.
0:58:45 > 0:58:50All the birds in the trees. All the love in the world.
0:58:51 > 0:58:54I heard it. I heard HIM.
0:58:56 > 0:59:00What's that? What are you saying, old chap?
0:59:00 > 0:59:03What are you trying to say?
0:59:03 > 0:59:05I heard it.
0:59:06 > 0:59:08He sung.
0:59:08 > 0:59:11All the birds they...
0:59:11 > 0:59:14this song.
0:59:15 > 0:59:20Nothing. Just a babble. But he's more or less asleep now.
0:59:20 > 0:59:26You did right to call me. He'll sleep for a while. Leave him be.
0:59:26 > 0:59:30Shall I close the curtains? Yes, good idea.
0:59:43 > 0:59:47# Cruising down the river
0:59:47 > 0:59:51# On a Sunday afternoon
0:59:51 > 0:59:54# With one you love
0:59:54 > 0:59:57# The sun above
0:59:57 > 1:00:01# Waiting for the moo-oon.
1:00:01 > 1:00:04# The old accordion playing
1:00:04 > 1:00:09# A sentimental tu-une
1:00:09 > 1:00:13# Cruising down the river
1:00:13 > 1:00:17# On a Sunday afternoon.
1:00:18 > 1:00:22# The birds above All sing of love
1:00:22 > 1:00:26# A gentle, sweet refrain... #
1:00:26 > 1:00:33'I like to snap my eyes around the hall when I'm crooning this sort of stuff.
1:00:33 > 1:00:38'You can learn a lot about life when you size up ballroom dancers.
1:00:38 > 1:00:45'It helps my think-box to send out sparks. And my head has got to fizz on this case.'
1:00:45 > 1:00:48# Cruising down the river
1:00:48 > 1:00:52# On a Sunday afternoo-oon. #
1:00:58 > 1:01:01'This ol' river I'm cruising down.
1:01:01 > 1:01:04'I knew they'd fished out a body.
1:01:04 > 1:01:12'And I knew it wasn't a mermaid. But there was something fishy about it, that's for sure.
1:01:12 > 1:01:17'Yes, sir, the Thames can be all sleaze and no flow.
1:01:17 > 1:01:23'And talking of flotsam and jetsam, who were the guys watching Binney?
1:01:23 > 1:01:31'And is he playing a game with me? What's this with the Russianski lingo? Is it "Da" or is it "Nyet"?
1:01:36 > 1:01:39'I had some visiting to do.
1:01:39 > 1:01:44'To the sort of places where you don't leave a calling card.'
1:01:44 > 1:01:47KNOCKING AT DOOR
1:01:48 > 1:01:51All right! All right! All right!
1:01:51 > 1:01:53Do you want to break the door down?
1:01:57 > 1:01:59Who are you? What do you want?
1:02:00 > 1:02:05- The police found her this morning.- What?
1:02:05 > 1:02:10Your little piece of fluff. Your harmless bit of fun.
1:02:10 > 1:02:15In the river. Naked. Not even her knickers on.
1:02:15 > 1:02:20What did you do with her clothes? Especially the fur coat.
1:02:20 > 1:02:27- Do you know how much sable is worth?- Who are you? What are you playing at?
1:02:27 > 1:02:34You make me laugh. Clowns. I know who you are. It's written all over you.
1:02:34 > 1:02:39Don't keep us on the step. I'd advise you not to do that.
1:02:43 > 1:02:47Now, now, now, Mr B. That's not very friendly, is it?
1:02:47 > 1:02:53- All right, you'd better come in. We'll talk it over.- Thank you.
1:02:53 > 1:02:55Thank you, sir.
1:03:07 > 1:03:12Goodness me. Look at this. What would you call this?
1:03:12 > 1:03:18That is what I would call a provocative picture. I'm provoked.
1:03:18 > 1:03:23It tells us a great deal about the woman. A slut, I'd say.
1:03:23 > 1:03:31It also tells us a great deal about the man who put it there, surely? A pimp would be my guess.
1:03:31 > 1:03:34It's a decoration for the wall.
1:03:34 > 1:03:38A very attractive girl, as a decoration for a wall.
1:03:38 > 1:03:41Splendid breasts, though.
1:03:43 > 1:03:45Yes.
1:03:45 > 1:03:47Splendid.
1:03:52 > 1:03:58NURSE MILLS: He's running a very high temperature but it's back under control now.
1:03:58 > 1:04:00The skin, you see.
1:04:00 > 1:04:06I'm afraid he had to be sedated and he's been asleep most of the day.
1:04:06 > 1:04:10Don't waken him if he needs to...
1:04:10 > 1:04:12Oh, my God!
1:04:12 > 1:04:17I had no idea he looked as bad as this.
1:04:17 > 1:04:21It's at its peak now. It's a hundred per cent.
1:04:21 > 1:04:26Surely something can be done. Heavens above, this is ghastly!
1:04:26 > 1:04:29It looks as if he's been scalded.
1:04:29 > 1:04:34They're trying him on a new drug. But you'd know that, of course.
1:04:34 > 1:04:36Of course.
1:04:36 > 1:04:41Mr Marlow! A visitor. I'm not sure we should wake him.
1:04:41 > 1:04:46He'll only send me away with a mouthful of abuse.
1:04:46 > 1:04:52They wanted to know if and when you came, the doctors, I mean.
1:04:52 > 1:04:56They're not here now, but Sister would like to see you.
1:04:56 > 1:05:01Well, I'm not so sure that I do want to get too...
1:05:01 > 1:05:06Got to speak to somebody, I suppose. At least I won't get a lot of abuse.
1:05:06 > 1:05:08Sorry?
1:05:08 > 1:05:13When this one wakes up and sees me, you'll find out why.
1:05:13 > 1:05:18In fact, I can't face it. I don't want it.
1:05:18 > 1:05:23I shouldn't have come. I shouldn't even have tried.
1:05:30 > 1:05:33Farewell, my lovely(!)
1:05:37 > 1:05:39Nicola, come here!
1:05:39 > 1:05:43Come back, you bitch.
1:05:43 > 1:05:45Nicola!
1:05:45 > 1:05:47Come here! Come back, you bitch!
1:05:47 > 1:05:52Nicola! Come here, you filthy little slut!
1:05:53 > 1:05:55You disgusting tramp, Nicola!
1:05:55 > 1:06:00You two-bit, rutting WHORE, Nicola! COME HERE!
1:06:00 > 1:06:03You heartless bitch!
1:06:03 > 1:06:05NICOLA!
1:06:05 > 1:06:10Who are you opening your legs for now, you RUTTING BITCH?
1:06:10 > 1:06:14You filthy bag of filth, NICOLA!
1:06:14 > 1:06:21You whore! Come here! You STINKING, HEARTLESS, RUTTING piece of...
1:06:23 > 1:06:28Mr Marlow! What on earth do you think you are doing?!
1:06:28 > 1:06:35You want to wash his mouth out with soap and water, dirty bleeder.
1:06:35 > 1:06:39- What... What's going on? - YOU! That's what.
1:06:39 > 1:06:44What do you think you are doing? Where do you think you are?
1:07:02 > 1:07:05- HE SINGS FEEBLY: - # Cruising down the river
1:07:05 > 1:07:10# On a Sunday afternoon
1:07:12 > 1:07:16# With one you love, the sun above
1:07:16 > 1:07:21# Waiting for the moo-oon. #
1:07:24 > 1:07:26That's all, folks.
1:08:32 > 1:08:36Subtitles by Dorothy Moore BBC Scotland - 1986
1:08:36 > 1:08:40E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk