0:00:08 > 0:00:15This programme contains strong language.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03WOMAN SINGING IN THE DISTANCE
0:02:15 > 0:02:19- #- ..That's our last night
0:02:19 > 0:02:24- #- My Lili of the lamplight
0:02:24 > 0:02:29- #- My own Lili Marlene.- #
0:02:29 > 0:02:33GEORGE'S LOUD LAUGHTER CONTINUES
0:02:55 > 0:02:59# Bei mir bist du schon,
0:02:59 > 0:03:02# Please let me explain
0:03:02 > 0:03:06# Bei mir bist du schon Means that you're grand... #
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Rungs!
0:03:12 > 0:03:18Well, what do you think of it, Philip? Bit of all right? Eh?
0:03:18 > 0:03:21UNCLE JOHN: Let's hear it, Dad.
0:03:21 > 0:03:26- Mournful,- I- call it. Lift the lid up properly.
0:03:26 > 0:03:33Blimey, you DO keep on! Well, the nipper won't have seen it, will he?
0:03:33 > 0:03:38He won't have seen nothing like that in them bleedin' trees.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Come on, Philip. Look at this.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- Good, yunnit?- Oh arrr!
0:03:47 > 0:03:48John!
0:03:48 > 0:03:53Only pulling his leg, eh? > Watch the hole, Philip.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Always keep your eyes on the hole.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00John! Depends whose, don't it?
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Stop that!
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Look, see the hole in the middle,
0:04:04 > 0:04:10round and round to the hole in the middle, and hey presto...!
0:04:11 > 0:04:17- What do you think of the gramophone? - It's good, yunnit?- Yunnit?!
0:04:17 > 0:04:22You don't come from 'Ammersmith, by any chance?
0:04:22 > 0:04:27- He's very broad sometimes. - I can't understand him!
0:04:27 > 0:04:32I byunt going to talk much. I byunt going to talk at all.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Some of the things he says!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42You won't get far by pointing!
0:04:42 > 0:04:47He didn't want to come. I don't think he likes the idea of London.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50It's the best place there is.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54- Not like whum though, be it? - What's he say?
0:04:54 > 0:05:01- He says it's not like home.- There yunt no place like the forest. Where cost thou up here?
0:05:01 > 0:05:08Where be the trees? The oaks and the elms and the beech? You tell I that!
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Ravenscourt Park, there's a couple of trees there.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15And Barnes Common.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18I can't understand a word he says.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Show him the gas taps.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24He might shove his head in the oven!
0:05:24 > 0:05:28Show him. It's new, all new. Open his eyes, it will.
0:05:28 > 0:05:34- And the flush. No burying shit in the garden here.- Language!
0:05:34 > 0:05:38If he don't hear no worse than that...
0:05:38 > 0:05:41What about the trolley buses?
0:05:41 > 0:05:47And the underground. Trains running under the ground. It's true!
0:05:50 > 0:05:52The way that boy looks at you!
0:05:52 > 0:05:58- He doesn't blink.- Philip! It's rude to stare. Stop it.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02You'll be able to go to the pictures and everything.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06Now the V-2s have stopped coming over.
0:06:06 > 0:06:12He'll be a proper little Londoner in time. Do you like football?
0:06:13 > 0:06:17Eh? What cat got your tongue?
0:06:17 > 0:06:23- Philip, answer when you're spoken to.- When's Our Dad coming?
0:06:27 > 0:06:29When?
0:06:29 > 0:06:33(What are you going to say, Betty? What are you going to tell him?)
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Soon.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Soon, Philip.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47WHEN?
0:06:47 > 0:06:50Soon. Sometime soon.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54..I expect.
0:07:51 > 0:07:56'A good detective doesn't go by the book. No, sir.
0:07:56 > 0:08:02'But he has to have a few rules to help him chew the cup-cake.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04'First off, never...
0:08:04 > 0:08:07'Never trust your client.'
0:08:56 > 0:09:00Listen, God, I promise to be good if you'll let I off.
0:09:00 > 0:09:08I'll be without nern a spot and without nern a sin. I didn't mean to do it, God. Honest!
0:09:08 > 0:09:11'Honest.'
0:09:32 > 0:09:37- They come and go, don't they? - We don't talk about that, do we?
0:09:37 > 0:09:43Why not? Is the working assumption here that none of us is mortal?
0:09:44 > 0:09:47< Nurse!
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Please...a word, nurse.
0:09:50 > 0:09:51Listen.
0:09:51 > 0:09:57If that squad of people had got to him 30 seconds earlier,
0:09:57 > 0:10:02- would it have made any difference? - Who knows?
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Nurse! >
0:10:06 > 0:10:10Oh, Nurse Mills. Sweet Nurse Mills.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12I'd love...
0:10:51 > 0:10:54'Oy! Oy!
0:10:54 > 0:10:56'Charlie!'
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Fag.
0:11:00 > 0:11:05'Ere, I'm dying for one, I tell you.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Sorry about that, George.
0:11:18 > 0:11:23- Sorry, George.- Still talking to yourself, are you, Philip?
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Who's George?
0:11:25 > 0:11:33Of course, I do. It's more civilised than the conversations I used to have. Why are you here?
0:11:33 > 0:11:37- What a disgusting disease. - Thank you.
0:11:37 > 0:11:42- You look like a scabby leper. What's all that grease?- It's from a garage.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45- They said you were getting better. - I am.
0:11:45 > 0:11:52- What do you want? Why are you here? - I'm not sure. Perhaps I've just come to gloat.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56- It isn't the visiting hour. - I know.- They let you in?
0:11:56 > 0:12:01Well, they didn't seem to mind... much. I smiled very sweetly.
0:12:01 > 0:12:05- As ever.- What do you mean?
0:12:05 > 0:12:12There was a patient in here and his wife wanted to visit him after SHE had swallowed 364 aspirins.
0:12:12 > 0:12:19- This was at 6.20. They asked her to wait ten minutes.- What?
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Visiting time is at 6.30.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Oh, I see. A joke.
0:12:26 > 0:12:31Sit down, by all means. Keep the laughs coming.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35- I did come once before.- Yes. - They told you?
0:12:35 > 0:12:41- I wasn't really asleep. I knew you were there.- I see.
0:12:41 > 0:12:46You know, Nicola, you are, without any shadow of a doubt,
0:12:46 > 0:12:52an exceptionally beautiful woman, at the very peak of her nubility.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54That sounds like a death sentence.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58- It IS a death sentence. - Listen to me.
0:12:58 > 0:13:06- I've been in here for three months. Guess how you spend that time, flat on your back?- Go off your head?
0:13:06 > 0:13:09- You THINK.- But about what?
0:13:09 > 0:13:13- Everything.- But...- But what?
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Do you think about us?
0:13:19 > 0:13:22- Us?- You and me.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Sex, do you mean?
0:13:25 > 0:13:29Amongst other things, yes. If you like.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Sex.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35It has been known to happen between us.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41And I miss it. With you, I mean.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Nicola.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Yes?
0:13:51 > 0:13:59The plain fact is that you are a filthy, predatory and totally wanton bitch who is always on heat.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03I do not wish to see you, ever.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06What if I said I loved you?
0:14:06 > 0:14:11- Liar.- What if I said I wanted you back?- Liar.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14There are some things to discuss.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- No.- You're hard up.
0:14:17 > 0:14:22You haven't got a penny. You haven't put pen to paper for 15 months!
0:14:22 > 0:14:26- I know that. - I don't need a pen or paper.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29- You write on water(!)- Shut up!
0:14:29 > 0:14:31God!
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Go, will you? Just bloody well go!
0:14:34 > 0:14:42A film production company wants to take out some sort of option on that first book of yours.
0:14:42 > 0:14:47- What?- The one about the detective that sings in the dance band.
0:14:47 > 0:14:53- Al Pacino and Max Bygraves will star in it(?)- This is serious!
0:14:53 > 0:15:01Options! That means they offer you a pittance now for the right to rip you off later on!
0:15:01 > 0:15:04They're very keen, apparently.
0:15:04 > 0:15:11- What has this got to do with you? What do you know about it?- I want you to be able to support yourself.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- You what?- I'm worried about you.
0:15:14 > 0:15:20- Ah, I see. You still consider that I owe you money.- No, I don't.
0:15:20 > 0:15:28- I imagine that it would work out at £200 a screw, the top rate for hookers nowadays.- I wouldn't know.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Tell me,
0:15:35 > 0:15:39who ARE you sleeping with at the moment?
0:15:39 > 0:15:43- Myself, mostly.- Mostly?
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Mostly. Yes.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Mostly means not always.
0:15:48 > 0:15:53- If you want it to be that precise, yes, it does.- Nicola, please!
0:15:56 > 0:15:58No. Don't.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Please, I was trying to say...
0:16:03 > 0:16:06just go away. Just piss off!
0:16:06 > 0:16:08You bet.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Bitch! Bitch!
0:16:21 > 0:16:26I have talked to the Consultant. I have talked to the Registrar.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29They say you should try to work.
0:16:29 > 0:16:34You can be moved to a side ward, away from people,
0:16:34 > 0:16:39but only if you show signs of being a little less introspective.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Philip, it's up to you now.
0:16:43 > 0:16:48- Look at me!- What are you up to? What's your game?
0:16:48 > 0:16:55- For goodness sake!- You're a bad actress on the box and even worse in real life.- Thank you.
0:16:55 > 0:17:00- It's called The Singing Detective.- Yes, that's it!
0:17:00 > 0:17:05- And it has nothing to do with you.- I didn't say it had.
0:17:05 > 0:17:10- I have been working, turning it into something else.- How?
0:17:10 > 0:17:16- In my head.- Oh! In your head! Yes.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Sorry, but it's time for your drug.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Open.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34There, all gone.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Who's a good boy, then?
0:17:39 > 0:17:42'One of you.'
0:17:45 > 0:17:50One nasty, dirty, wicked, little boy, >
0:17:50 > 0:17:54for I cannot believe it was one of the girls!
0:17:54 > 0:17:58One of you boys waited until after school,
0:17:58 > 0:18:04waited, then sneaked back in and did this horrible...
0:18:04 > 0:18:11horrible, filthy, disgusting thing, right in the middle of this table.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14MY table!
0:18:16 > 0:18:19And I will tell you this.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24I will tell you this.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29I will tell you here and now,
0:18:30 > 0:18:33he won't get away with it,
0:18:33 > 0:18:36WHOEVER it is.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42I'll make sure of that.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Ab-so-lute-ly sure.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Who?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Who is it?
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Who?
0:19:17 > 0:19:26Who...is..the nasty, dirty, shameless little BEAST?!
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Harold? Yes? Was it you?
0:19:29 > 0:19:33No, Miss. You, was it? No, Miss.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Did you come back after school? No, Miss.
0:19:36 > 0:19:41Are you quite sure? I didn't, Miss.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45Did you come back in here and climb up on to my desk?
0:19:45 > 0:19:50< Did you let down your trousers and do that disgusting thing?
0:19:50 > 0:19:54No, Miss. Do you know who did?
0:19:54 > 0:19:57No, Miss.
0:20:07 > 0:20:11Cows do it in the fields and know no better.
0:20:11 > 0:20:18Dogs do it on the road and know no better. Pigs do it in their sties and know no better.
0:20:18 > 0:20:26They can't speak. They can't reason. They know not the difference between right and wrong. They are animals.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28But...
0:20:28 > 0:20:30But we are NOT animals.
0:20:32 > 0:20:37God has given us all a sense of good and of bad.
0:20:37 > 0:20:42God allows us to tell the difference between the clean and the dirty.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46And God is going to help me now
0:20:46 > 0:20:49find out who did this thing.
0:20:49 > 0:20:54ALL of you, in a moment, are going to close your eyes
0:20:54 > 0:20:57and place your hands together.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00We are going to say a prayer.
0:21:00 > 0:21:06We are going to ask Almighty God, ALMIGHTY God, himself.
0:21:06 > 0:21:11We are going to BESEECH Almighty God, himself.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15HE is going to point His Holy finger.
0:21:15 > 0:21:20ALMIGHTY God will tell us who did this wicked deed.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24And then, we shall know.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Let us pray.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44'In my head.'
0:21:44 > 0:21:49In my head. The worst thing about a detective story is the plot.
0:21:49 > 0:21:59In fact, it's the only thing. You work it all out in your head. That's what I've been trying to do.
0:21:59 > 0:22:05- But you already know what is going to happen.- Think I'm cuckoo, do you?
0:22:05 > 0:22:08- No, but...- You think I'm bananas.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11- It seems...- Where's that screenplay?
0:22:11 > 0:22:18- What screenplay?- The one I wrote years ago and put in the shoe box.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21- Shoe box?!- Yes, the shoe box!
0:22:23 > 0:22:25Philip.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29I know. I know.
0:22:31 > 0:22:36You should write something new. Write something else.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38- Like what?- Like this.
0:22:38 > 0:22:43- What has happened to you. Like REAL things.- Pooh.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47- USE your talent, Philip.- Bugger it!
0:22:47 > 0:22:54Write about real things in a realistic way, real people, real joys, real pains.
0:22:54 > 0:22:59- Not these silly detective stories. Something more relevant.- Solutions.
0:22:59 > 0:23:04- What?- All solutions and no clues, that's what the dumbheads want.
0:23:04 > 0:23:09Bloody novels - "He said," "She said," and descriptions of the sky!
0:23:09 > 0:23:17I'd rather it was the other way round. That's the way things are - plenty of clues, no solutions.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20What about this option?
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Well, it's not grand or...
0:23:22 > 0:23:28- But it would be a way for you to earn some money again...- How much?
0:23:28 > 0:23:31Well, it's no huge...
0:23:31 > 0:23:37- I think it's about 2,000 for twelve months.- Ten cents a dance.
0:23:37 > 0:23:42But if they actually made a film of it,
0:23:42 > 0:23:45YOU would get 2% of the budget.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48So, a ten million dollar film...
0:23:48 > 0:23:51..Up to a ceiling of 100,000.
0:23:51 > 0:24:00- How come you know all this? How do you know the figures? What is it to do with you?- The point is...
0:24:00 > 0:24:05The point is you know these details and I don't. I'm in the dark.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09- You've been getting into my flat... - That stinking hole!
0:24:09 > 0:24:15OR you were party to the offer in the first place. What's going on?
0:24:15 > 0:24:23Still the same, aren't you? The same paranoid old Philip. Do you WANT my help, or don't you?
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Do I want YOU to help ME?
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Think about it.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35- Piss off!- Philip.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37You are a barbarian.
0:24:37 > 0:24:42You will always bite the hand that tries to feed you!
0:24:42 > 0:24:46Answer the question, you interfering cow!
0:24:46 > 0:24:52- The noise that fellow makes!- NICOLA! - The total lack of consideration.
0:24:52 > 0:24:58It beggars description. And I choose my words more carefully than most.
0:24:58 > 0:25:03- NICOLA, COME HERE! - I mean, listen to him.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Reginald? What?
0:25:06 > 0:25:12Could you put your hand on your heart and say you were good company?
0:25:12 > 0:25:17What? < See what I mean. It's a good story.
0:25:17 > 0:25:22What's it about? You already asked. > I'm asking again.
0:25:22 > 0:25:27I don't know yet, do I? I haven't finished it yet, have I?
0:25:46 > 0:25:50No luck, full stop. No good, full stop.
0:25:53 > 0:25:58Talk about difficult, exclamation mark.
0:26:00 > 0:26:06I had to give it up because he was getting very suspicious, full stop.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15No luck. No good. Talk about difficult!
0:26:15 > 0:26:23- I had to give it up because he was getting VERY suspicious. - Binney! That bastard!
0:26:23 > 0:26:25She says it's Binney.
0:26:25 > 0:26:31But you'll try again? I mean, he'll see you again?
0:26:31 > 0:26:35- I don't know.- The thing is, Nicola, I can't wait for too long.
0:26:35 > 0:26:40- You have no idea how nasty he can be.- Haven't I just!
0:26:40 > 0:26:46I don't want us to be... We could be sued for misrepresentation.
0:26:46 > 0:26:52- Don't worry. I'll manage. - Jesus! I wish we'd...- Stop it!
0:26:52 > 0:26:54I'll deliver. I said I would.
0:26:54 > 0:27:01- He looks terrible.- Don't feel sorry for him. Think about the half million dollars.
0:27:01 > 0:27:06I don't feel sorry for him. I hope it gets right down into his bones.
0:27:06 > 0:27:13Ah! You look TERRIFIC when you're angry. Zzzzz. Like a wasp caught in Tabasco.
0:27:13 > 0:27:19That is what Marlow used to say. You sound just like Marlow.
0:27:37 > 0:27:43# It's a lovely day tomorrow
0:27:43 > 0:27:48# Tomorrow is a lovely da-a-ay.
0:27:48 > 0:27:54# Come and feast your tear-dimmed eyes
0:27:54 > 0:28:00# On tomorrow's clear blue skies.
0:28:00 > 0:28:06# If today your heart is weary
0:28:06 > 0:28:12# If every little thing looks grey
0:28:12 > 0:28:16# Just forget your troubles
0:28:16 > 0:28:19# And learn to say
0:28:19 > 0:28:24# Tomorrow is a lovely day. #
0:28:33 > 0:28:40'It's always the least likely character who turns out to be the killer.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43'Got to obey the rules.
0:28:43 > 0:28:45'This must be him.
0:28:45 > 0:28:50'This must be the one. Old Noddy here.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52'Definitely.
0:28:52 > 0:28:58'Noddy did it. You hear that, Nicola? You get that?
0:28:59 > 0:29:01'It can't be me, that's for sure.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05- 'It can't be me.- I- didn't do it.'
0:29:10 > 0:29:15They won't find out who it was. Na, they'll never, ever find out,
0:29:15 > 0:29:20not if they give I the worst Chinese burn ever.
0:29:20 > 0:29:28Or they can tie I down on a hill of cruel, poisonous black ants, and they'll NEVER find out.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30Not if I keep my mouth shut.
0:29:32 > 0:29:35O, Lord God, who loves and saves
0:29:35 > 0:29:42and watches and admonishes all of us miserable and unworthy sinners.
0:29:42 > 0:29:49O, Lord God, look down on us now in Thy Awful Majesty.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52Search out our hearts,
0:29:52 > 0:29:58look into our heads, seize hold of our innermost thoughts. Dear Lord,
0:29:58 > 0:30:02YOU can see. YOU know.
0:30:04 > 0:30:08You are looking down now upon one boy,
0:30:08 > 0:30:13one particular boy, one boy in this room.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17You are entering the bones.
0:30:17 > 0:30:21You are peering into the space between the bones.
0:30:21 > 0:30:26Dear God, Almighty God,
0:30:26 > 0:30:33terrible in wrath, with the stars to guide, with the whole earth to turn, with the flowers to grow,
0:30:33 > 0:30:40with the rain to make fall, the sun to make shine, with all this, all of these things,
0:30:40 > 0:30:43You stop, You look,
0:30:43 > 0:30:46You watch.
0:30:46 > 0:30:53All of these things, the weight of the mountains, the deep of the oceans, the day and the night,
0:30:53 > 0:30:59the cares and troubles of the whole, slow spin of the whole world, ALL.
0:30:59 > 0:31:04ALL of these things, You, O God,
0:31:04 > 0:31:09Thee, O God, Almighty and Awful Creator,
0:31:09 > 0:31:14You leave for the moment to point down at the one.
0:31:26 > 0:31:28Who?
0:31:28 > 0:31:30Who?
0:31:30 > 0:31:32Which one?
0:31:34 > 0:31:37Who is it?
0:32:18 > 0:32:23'Who? Which one? Who is it? That is the question.'
0:32:51 > 0:32:54Achtung, Amanda!
0:33:21 > 0:33:23Achtung, Amanda!
0:33:49 > 0:33:54'You can throw a long shadow. You can cast a short one.
0:33:54 > 0:33:58'And you know the mistake people make?
0:33:58 > 0:34:05'They think the size has something to do with what's inside them. Am I right? Or am I right?'
0:34:07 > 0:34:09Shadows.
0:34:17 > 0:34:22- Doesn't any of it seem peculiar to you?- No.
0:34:22 > 0:34:29- It gives me the creeps. I feel as if he's out there looking at me. - Shadows.
0:34:29 > 0:34:35He knows too much. He's got hold of too many details. What's his game?
0:34:35 > 0:34:38- Parrot.- What?!
0:34:38 > 0:34:41I just made a parrot.
0:34:41 > 0:34:43Am I talking to myself here?
0:34:43 > 0:34:47I like moody men.
0:34:47 > 0:34:49I simply ADORE moody men!
0:34:49 > 0:34:55Two years and more I had of that shit with Marlow -
0:34:55 > 0:35:03black looks, mysterious silences, sulks for no reason and PARANOIA. Think about it.
0:35:03 > 0:35:08It's Marlow I'm thinking about. He's on to me.
0:35:08 > 0:35:12- What do you mean? - I feel it. I sense it.
0:35:12 > 0:35:15Oh, no, not again.
0:35:15 > 0:35:20- He's never actually set foot in this house, has he?- Of course not.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23- In his script...- YOUR script.
0:35:23 > 0:35:27- Let's be accurate.- No, consistent.
0:35:27 > 0:35:34- OK, as far as the outside world is concerned.- Half a million says you'd better believe it.
0:35:34 > 0:35:41I don't mean that. I mean this dog-eared, messy, food-stained script we hope he's forgotten.
0:35:41 > 0:35:46It still stinks of tobacco and something that well...
0:35:46 > 0:35:53- smells to me like old cabbage stumps.- It smells of something worse than that.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56- It smells of sulphur.- What?
0:35:58 > 0:36:01Nicola, I know this sounds crazy.
0:36:01 > 0:36:05I feel almost as though he has made all this up.
0:36:07 > 0:36:10My God! I do pick them.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12Nicola, think about it, please!
0:36:12 > 0:36:17- I'm talking about the actual script he wrote!- Years ago.
0:36:17 > 0:36:20- Yes...- Before I even knew you.
0:36:20 > 0:36:24- Yes, but... Well, true. - Well, then.
0:36:25 > 0:36:30But... But isn't that what makes it all so...creepy?
0:36:32 > 0:36:36Now, look...
0:36:36 > 0:36:44You're working yourself up because what we're doing is criminal. Right?
0:36:44 > 0:36:50I mean, we are stealing his script and passing it off as yours. Right?
0:36:50 > 0:36:52- Right.- Mm.
0:36:52 > 0:36:54Right.
0:36:54 > 0:36:59- Right.- And this is because I intercepted the offer to him.
0:36:59 > 0:37:04- They don't know him from Adam. But you've got cold feet.- No. No.
0:37:04 > 0:37:09Then WHY are you jangling your nerves like this?
0:37:09 > 0:37:15You do know we're talking about coincidence, don't you? Mark?
0:37:15 > 0:37:18Don't you?
0:37:18 > 0:37:19I suppose so.
0:37:21 > 0:37:24Come on, use your head!
0:37:24 > 0:37:29If he didn't know of your existence when he wrote that book.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32- If- I- didn't know you, even.
0:37:32 > 0:37:37If he'd never been here, never seen you.
0:37:42 > 0:37:47- What's the matter with you? - This is the matter, in here.
0:37:47 > 0:37:53- Listen. In here, the story is the same, OK.- It had better be.
0:37:53 > 0:37:57- The settings are different! - For Christ's sake.- ..And the names.
0:37:57 > 0:38:05- So he changed his mind.- He changed the setting of the client's house from New Cavendish St to this Mall.
0:38:05 > 0:38:11- The murdered girl floats under Hammersmith Bridge! - It's public property.
0:38:11 > 0:38:16He's changed the name of the client from Haynes to Binney. ONE letter.
0:38:16 > 0:38:19So what?
0:38:19 > 0:38:24Binney to Finney is too close. If he'd changed it to anything else...
0:38:24 > 0:38:29- How about Walley? - Mark Finney! Me! Right?!
0:38:29 > 0:38:35- How do you do.- Mark Binney! In this script that we've purloined!
0:38:35 > 0:38:40Mark Finney to Mark Binney is as close as...as close as...
0:38:47 > 0:38:49I have this awful, dash.
0:38:51 > 0:38:57He stops himself, comma, and all but shudders, full stop.
0:38:57 > 0:39:01Darling, dash, question mark.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04I have this awful...
0:39:04 > 0:39:06Darling - ?
0:39:06 > 0:39:09..Premonition.
0:39:10 > 0:39:14I have this awful premonition.
0:39:20 > 0:39:23Nicola, why are you doing that?
0:39:23 > 0:39:25What?
0:39:25 > 0:39:27Nicola!
0:39:27 > 0:39:32Look, a rabbit! Don't you think that looks like a rabbit, Mark?
0:39:34 > 0:39:36I thought I could only do parrots.
0:39:39 > 0:39:44HEAVY RAIN AND THUNDER
0:39:56 > 0:40:01He followed the stupid cow. He bloody well followed her.
0:40:01 > 0:40:06It happens. He called out some kraut word.
0:40:06 > 0:40:09And she had to go and react.
0:40:09 > 0:40:13She's not even a bloody Hun. There you are.
0:40:13 > 0:40:20These tarts. Brains in their bleedin' nipples. He's clever, though.
0:40:20 > 0:40:26Not once she'd shown herself. It was in the manual then. Easy!
0:40:26 > 0:40:29Watched her arse all the way home.
0:40:29 > 0:40:33But he's clever. Go on, admit it.
0:40:33 > 0:40:35Yeah.
0:40:38 > 0:40:42Who'd have thought it? I mean, a warbler!
0:40:42 > 0:40:47A bloody warbler! Thought they were all Nancy-boys.
0:40:47 > 0:40:50There you are. Shut up!
0:40:50 > 0:40:53Right you are.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00We'll have to go in there.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02Eventually.
0:41:02 > 0:41:04But not together.
0:41:04 > 0:41:09I don't want to go to a dance with another bloke.
0:41:09 > 0:41:14I mean, what would people say? No, no, nor me.
0:41:16 > 0:41:19Have you got the gun? What do you think?
0:41:19 > 0:41:26I killed the tart with it, didn't I? Amanda. Yeah.
0:41:26 > 0:41:29Pity that. Pity, really.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31Shut up.
0:41:31 > 0:41:34Right you are.
0:41:40 > 0:41:45- #- I get along without you very well
0:41:45 > 0:41:48- #- Of course I do
0:41:48 > 0:41:52- #- Except when soft rains fall
0:41:52 > 0:41:56- #- And drip from leaves then I recall
0:41:56 > 0:42:02- #- The thrill of being sheltered in your arms.
0:42:02 > 0:42:05- #- What a guy!
0:42:05 > 0:42:09- #- What a fool am I!
0:42:09 > 0:42:16- #- To think my breaking heart Could kid the moon
0:42:16 > 0:42:19- #- What's in store?
0:42:19 > 0:42:23- #- Should I fall once more?
0:42:23 > 0:42:30- #- No, it's best That I stick to my tu-u-ne
0:42:31 > 0:42:35- #- I get along without you very we-ll
0:42:35 > 0:42:38- #- Of course, I do
0:42:40 > 0:42:42- #- Except perhaps in spring
0:42:42 > 0:42:47- #- But I should never think of spring
0:42:47 > 0:42:53- #- For that would surely Break my heart in two-o-o.- #
0:42:53 > 0:42:56MUSIC CONTINUES
0:43:26 > 0:43:28Grapes!
0:43:30 > 0:43:35Why people insist on bringing them into hospitals, I don't know.
0:43:40 > 0:43:44The grape, Reginald, is a very irritating fruit.
0:43:44 > 0:43:49Especially if you have the misfortune to wear dentures.
0:43:51 > 0:43:56The skin which, on the whole, is more bitter than it should be...
0:43:56 > 0:44:01The skin, the bloody skin sticks on the teeth.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05Or between the teeth.
0:44:06 > 0:44:09And as for the pips...
0:44:09 > 0:44:12The pips, Reginald...
0:44:15 > 0:44:19You! That's what you do, do you know that?
0:44:19 > 0:44:23What? You give me the pip.
0:44:23 > 0:44:26What's wrong, Mr Hall?
0:44:26 > 0:44:28What's wrong? What's WRONG?!
0:44:28 > 0:44:31That's what I said.
0:44:31 > 0:44:34Sundays. Mm?
0:44:34 > 0:44:37Sundays, that's what's wrong.
0:44:37 > 0:44:43Oh, how I hate this day of rest, this sabbath, this...
0:44:45 > 0:44:50Even outside, Reginald, at the best of times. But in here...
0:44:50 > 0:44:54It's like the two longest days of the week rolled into one.
0:44:54 > 0:44:57Quieter, though. A bit of peace.
0:45:00 > 0:45:02Hello.
0:45:09 > 0:45:14Hello, please take one. You'll be able to follow the words.
0:45:20 > 0:45:25Hello, please take one, you'll be able to follow the words.
0:45:25 > 0:45:30Hello. If I could have your kind attention, please.
0:45:30 > 0:45:35My name is Dr Finlay and may the Lord Jesus Christ be with you.
0:45:35 > 0:45:39- Oh, no-o.- Let me introduce ourselves to you,
0:45:39 > 0:45:47if introductions are necessary. Hello, please take one, you'll be able to follow the words.
0:45:48 > 0:45:53Or perhaps you'd prefer just to listen.
0:45:55 > 0:45:58Yes, well. Jesus loves you.
0:46:02 > 0:46:08- Please take one, you'll be able to follow the words.- No. STUFF it.
0:46:08 > 0:46:11- ..That is all we ask.- Stuff it!
0:46:11 > 0:46:17Yes...This morning, we go from ward to ward to invite you
0:46:17 > 0:46:25- to share the infinite joy and comfort we have ourselves received. - Bugger off and leave us in peace.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29Nurse Godfrey has given out...
0:46:29 > 0:46:31F-fu-fuf-g-g...
0:46:31 > 0:46:35- If I could have your attention... - F-f...
0:46:36 > 0:46:42We ask you to join us in fellowship and in the love of Jesus,
0:46:42 > 0:46:47to celebrate what is good in our lives and to ask for help
0:46:47 > 0:46:51in understanding what seems to be less than happy in the world.
0:46:51 > 0:46:55Now, you have been given a printed booklet
0:46:55 > 0:47:02- with the words of the hymns...- Hey! You!- We hope you will feel able...
0:47:02 > 0:47:07- Hey, you!- Yes, what do you wish to say, my rather loud friend?
0:47:07 > 0:47:10What if we don't "feel able"?
0:47:10 > 0:47:16I'm sure that if you suspend your prejudice and join with us...
0:47:16 > 0:47:19This is a principle, not a prejudice.
0:47:19 > 0:47:24- If you would kindly... - We don't want this crap.
0:47:24 > 0:47:32Shut your mouth. Those who do not want to take part in celebrating our Lord Jesus Christ do not have to,
0:47:32 > 0:47:38but they should remain quiet so that others can enjoy the service
0:47:38 > 0:47:45and partake in the peace that comes from the love of our Saviour, Lord Jesus Christ.
0:47:45 > 0:47:51And afterwards, we can all pick up our beds and walk out of here.
0:47:51 > 0:47:55Switch on the organ, Eric.
0:47:55 > 0:47:57Let us begin. >
0:47:57 > 0:48:04We ask you to spend this time in reflection, in praise and comfort.
0:48:07 > 0:48:09Thank you.
0:48:09 > 0:48:17On your word sheets, you'll find the words of the hymn, Be In Time. Good and urgent advice,
0:48:17 > 0:48:24expressing our personal hope in Jesus and our wish to tell you the good news.
0:48:24 > 0:48:27Join with us. Do not hesitate!
0:48:28 > 0:48:32# Life at best is very brief
0:48:32 > 0:48:35# Like the falling of a leaf
0:48:35 > 0:48:39# Like the binding of a sheaf Be in time!
0:48:39 > 0:48:42# Fleeting days are telling fast
0:48:42 > 0:48:46# That the die will soon be cast
0:48:46 > 0:48:50# And the fatal line be passed Be in time!
0:48:50 > 0:48:55# Be in time! Be in time!
0:48:55 > 0:49:00# While the voice of Jesus calls you Be in time!
0:49:00 > 0:49:03# If in sin you longer wait
0:49:03 > 0:49:06# You may find no open ga-a-te
0:49:06 > 0:49:12# And your cry be just too late Be in time!
0:49:12 > 0:49:17# Fairest flowers soon decay Youth and beauty pass away
0:49:17 > 0:49:21# Oh, you have not long to stay Be in time!
0:49:21 > 0:49:24# While God's spirit bids you come
0:49:24 > 0:49:29# Sinner, do not longer roam
0:49:29 > 0:49:33# Lest you seal your hopeless doom Be in time!
0:49:33 > 0:49:39# Be in time! Be in time!
0:49:39 > 0:49:44# While the voice of Jesus calls you Be in time!
0:49:44 > 0:49:47# If in sin you longer wait
0:49:47 > 0:49:52# You may find no open ga-a-a-a-a-te
0:49:52 > 0:49:58# And your cry be just too late Be in time! #
0:49:58 > 0:50:03TEACHER: '..the weight of the mountains and the deeps of the oceans,
0:50:03 > 0:50:09'the cares and troubles of the whole slow spin of the whole big world.
0:50:09 > 0:50:15'You, O God. Thee, O God, Almighty and Awful Creator,
0:50:15 > 0:50:21'You leave for the moment to point down at the one.
0:50:21 > 0:50:24'Who?'
0:50:24 > 0:50:26Who?
0:50:30 > 0:50:32Which one?
0:50:34 > 0:50:36Who is it?
0:50:38 > 0:50:41CHILD SOBS
0:50:48 > 0:50:51Philip Marlow.
0:51:02 > 0:51:04Yes, Miss?
0:51:04 > 0:51:08Come out to the front.
0:51:09 > 0:51:13Come out to the front! Do you hear what I say? Come here!
0:51:35 > 0:51:38Philip.
0:51:38 > 0:51:40Miss?
0:51:48 > 0:51:51I want you to look at something.
0:51:55 > 0:51:57Now.
0:51:58 > 0:52:00D'you see that?
0:52:00 > 0:52:05D'you see that THING in the middle of the table?
0:52:05 > 0:52:08Well? Do you see it?
0:52:08 > 0:52:11Yes, Miss.
0:52:11 > 0:52:15Did YOU do it?
0:52:17 > 0:52:21You did it, didn't you? DIDN'T you?
0:52:21 > 0:52:26- No.- If you didn't do it, you know more about it than is good for you.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28- Miss?- You didn't do it?- No, Miss.
0:52:28 > 0:52:33I would have been very surprised if a clever boy like you...
0:52:33 > 0:52:39So you know, do you? You know who did this filthy thing?
0:52:43 > 0:52:45Yes, Miss.
0:52:45 > 0:52:49Then you'd better tell me, my boy. You had better tell me.
0:52:49 > 0:52:52- Don't like to.- What?
0:52:52 > 0:52:54I don't like to, Miss.
0:52:54 > 0:52:57Oh, you don't like to.
0:52:58 > 0:53:01What a pity? What a terrible shame.
0:53:04 > 0:53:10That means that you will have to stand here for the rest of the day,
0:53:10 > 0:53:14absolutely still, not moving a single muscle,
0:53:14 > 0:53:19looking at that THING on the table until you decide to be sensible.
0:53:19 > 0:53:26When the bell rings at the end of the day, and you still have not told me what I want to know,
0:53:26 > 0:53:28do you know what will happen then?
0:53:28 > 0:53:31You don't want to know?
0:53:31 > 0:53:34Very well, I'll tell you.
0:53:34 > 0:53:41I shall take hold of your ear, and I shall lead you through to Mr Hopper in the big room.
0:53:41 > 0:53:49He will take the big cane and give you the biggest thrashing anybody in this school has ever had.
0:53:49 > 0:53:56And he will keep on doing it, little boy, until you DO decide to tell me what you know.
0:53:56 > 0:53:58Understand?
0:53:58 > 0:54:01DO you understand?
0:54:01 > 0:54:04- (Yes, Miss.)- Very well.
0:54:06 > 0:54:09Think about all that I have said.
0:54:09 > 0:54:11Think about the stick, my lad.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14And tell me, who did it?
0:54:14 > 0:54:16Mmm? Who?
0:54:17 > 0:54:20'Don't like to say, Miss.'
0:54:24 > 0:54:31'Some Duke or other with a name like a boot said, "Never explain, never apologise."
0:54:31 > 0:54:35'They should write that over the gates of Wormwood Scrubs.
0:54:35 > 0:54:39'But the way things were looking for yours truly,
0:54:39 > 0:54:43'they were about to write it on my gravestone.'
0:54:43 > 0:54:46- #- Latch on To the affirmative
0:54:46 > 0:54:48- #- Don't mess with Mr In-between
0:54:48 > 0:54:53- #- You got to spread joy Up to the maximum
0:54:53 > 0:54:57- #- Bring gloom Down to the minimum
0:54:57 > 0:55:00- #- Have faith Or pandemonium
0:55:00 > 0:55:03- #- Liable to Walk upon the scene... #
0:55:03 > 0:55:06FEMALE VOICES: # To illustrate his last remark
0:55:06 > 0:55:09# Jonah in the whale Noah in the ark
0:55:09 > 0:55:12# What did they do-o-o
0:55:12 > 0:55:16# Just when everything Looked so dark? #
0:55:16 > 0:55:22DOCTOR FINLAY: # Man, they said we'd bettah Accen-tchuate the positive
0:55:22 > 0:55:25# Elim-inate the negative
0:55:25 > 0:55:29# Latch on To the affirmative
0:55:29 > 0:55:32# Don't mess with Mr In-between
0:55:32 > 0:55:36# You've got to spread joy Up to the maximum
0:55:36 > 0:55:40# Bring gloom Down to the minimum
0:55:40 > 0:55:43# Have faith Or pandemonium
0:55:43 > 0:55:46# Liable to Walk upon the scene.
0:55:46 > 0:55:49# To illustrate his last remark
0:55:49 > 0:55:53# Jonah in the whale Noah in the ark
0:55:53 > 0:55:56# What did they do
0:55:56 > 0:55:59# Just when everything Looked so da-a-ark?
0:55:59 > 0:56:05# Man, they said we'd bettah Accen-tchuate the positive
0:56:05 > 0:56:08# Elim-inate the negative
0:56:08 > 0:56:12# Latch on To the affirmative
0:56:12 > 0:56:14# Don't mess with Mr In-between
0:56:14 > 0:56:18# No, do not mess with Mr In-between. #
0:56:18 > 0:56:21Do you hear me?
0:56:23 > 0:56:27# Oh, listen to me, chil'un And you will hear
0:56:27 > 0:56:31# About the eliminatin' of the negative And the accent on the positive.
0:56:31 > 0:56:34# Gather round me chil'un If you will and sit tight
0:56:34 > 0:56:41# While I start reviewing The attitude of doin' Ri-i-i-ight.
0:56:41 > 0:56:45# You've got to spread joy Up to the maximum
0:56:45 > 0:56:49# Bring gloom Down to the minimum
0:56:49 > 0:56:54# Otherwise, pandemonium Liable to walk upon the scene.
0:56:54 > 0:56:56# To illustrate... # Well, illustrate.
0:56:56 > 0:56:59# My last remark
0:56:59 > 0:57:02# Jonah in the whale Noah in the ark
0:57:02 > 0:57:07# What did they say When everything looked so da-a-rk?
0:57:07 > 0:57:12# Man, they said we'd better Accen-tchuate the positive
0:57:12 > 0:57:16# Elim-inate the negative
0:57:16 > 0:57:19# Latch on to the affirmative
0:57:19 > 0:57:22# Don't mess with Mr In-between
0:57:22 > 0:57:27# No, don't mess With Mr In-betwee-ee-een. #
0:57:30 > 0:57:32God.
0:57:32 > 0:57:36Let it come. Pandemonium.
0:57:36 > 0:57:38# Be in time!
0:57:38 > 0:57:44# If in sin you longer wait You may find no open gate... #
0:57:44 > 0:57:48- #- Accentuate the positive Elim-inate the negative
0:57:48 > 0:57:51- #- Latch on To the affirmative
0:57:51 > 0:57:55- #- Don't mess With Mr In-between
0:57:55 > 0:57:59- #- No, do not mess With Mr In-between.- #
0:58:03 > 0:58:07# Oh, listen to me, chil'un And you will hear
0:58:07 > 0:58:13# About the eliminatin' of the negative And the accent on the positive...#
0:58:13 > 0:58:18Are you going to wait for the number to finish, or what?
0:58:18 > 0:58:21That is so.
0:58:21 > 0:58:25Only he's a good target now, a sitting duck.
0:58:26 > 0:58:29My glass. Look at it.
0:58:29 > 0:58:35I'd say it was empty. What would you say? The same.
0:58:35 > 0:58:39What? I'd say it was empty too.
0:58:46 > 0:58:49All right.
0:58:49 > 0:58:51The same again, thank you.
0:58:53 > 0:58:57We draw the same expenses, me and you.
0:58:57 > 0:59:04Who's got the shooter? Who does the shooting? That'll go down nicely, ta.
0:59:04 > 0:59:10You go and see what Marlow does when this bleedin' tune is over.
0:59:10 > 0:59:13Then he's HAD it.
0:59:29 > 0:59:32A leaf,
0:59:32 > 0:59:34boys and girls.
0:59:34 > 0:59:38A leaf may not seem all that much to you.
0:59:38 > 0:59:41Only a leaf, you might say.
0:59:41 > 0:59:49Green in the summer, and then going brown and dry, falling off the tree and rotting away. That's all.
0:59:49 > 0:59:53But look again and you will be surprised!
0:59:53 > 0:59:57A leaf, like you, has a rib.
0:59:59 > 1:00:02A leaf, like you, has...
1:00:02 > 1:00:05veins.
1:00:05 > 1:00:07A leaf, like you...
1:00:07 > 1:00:10breathes.
1:00:10 > 1:00:12If you look at the leaf,
1:00:12 > 1:00:20if you hold it up to the light, you will see the rib running right through the middle of it.
1:00:27 > 1:00:32From the bottom of the leaf at the stem, right through...
1:00:32 > 1:00:35to the tip of the leaf. Keep still!
1:00:35 > 1:00:38Eyes front!
1:00:38 > 1:00:45And if you look even more closely, you will see that coming out from this rib,
1:00:45 > 1:00:49there are VEINS. You see? Like this.
1:00:49 > 1:00:56Now, if you were to shine a very strong, a very powerful torch
1:00:56 > 1:01:03through this leaf, you would see that there is a very fine pattern in between these veins.
1:01:03 > 1:01:07Some of this pattern shows up as green,
1:01:07 > 1:01:14and some of this pattern shows up, under the bright light of the torch, as white.
1:01:14 > 1:01:22The white stuff is tougher than the green. It is like the bones of the leaf. George.
1:01:22 > 1:01:28- Miss? - I said there were two colours in the what?
1:01:28 > 1:01:33Leaf, miss. Yes, but in WHAT in the leaf? >
1:01:34 > 1:01:41In the PATTERN of the leaf. TWO colours, I said. What were they, George?
1:01:41 > 1:01:46Green, Miss. Yes, green, I said. AND? >
1:01:48 > 1:01:52NO, thank you, Barry.
1:01:52 > 1:01:54Black, Miss.
1:01:54 > 1:01:58Quiet! George, here.
1:01:58 > 1:02:00At once! >
1:02:09 > 1:02:17I saw you picking at the wood on your desk. I knew you were not paying attention.
1:02:17 > 1:02:21Fetch me the stick. Oh, Miss!
1:02:21 > 1:02:25FETCH me the stick. Yes, Miss.
1:02:32 > 1:02:35Hold out your hand.
1:02:49 > 1:02:52Pay attention, next time.
1:02:53 > 1:02:59Pay attention, ALL of you. Green, I said, green and WHITE.
1:02:59 > 1:03:06Count yourself lucky, George, that you only had three strokes across your hand.
1:03:06 > 1:03:11In just over ten minutes time, all of you in Standard Three
1:03:11 > 1:03:15will join Standard One, Standard Two and Standard Four
1:03:15 > 1:03:20to see a caning that not one of you will ever forget. Philip.
1:03:20 > 1:03:25- Yes, Miss?- You DO know that you will have to have the big stick?
1:03:25 > 1:03:31- AND across your behind, and in front of the whole school?- Yes, Miss.
1:03:31 > 1:03:33Unless...
1:03:33 > 1:03:36You understand? UNLESS...
1:03:36 > 1:03:38(Miss.)
1:03:39 > 1:03:41The leaf!
1:03:41 > 1:03:47When you pick up a fallen leaf from the ground,
1:03:47 > 1:03:51you will soon see that it is the green part,
1:03:51 > 1:03:57the green pattern that is the first part that rots away, that dies.
1:03:57 > 1:04:00But look closely at this leaf,
1:04:00 > 1:04:07the leaf you have picked up from the soft floor of the forest, and you will also see...
1:04:21 > 1:04:23There, there.
1:04:24 > 1:04:30You have been very brave in sticking up for the wicked boy who did it.
1:04:30 > 1:04:35I am sorry you will have to be punished, and punished so very hard.
1:04:36 > 1:04:38Here, blow.
1:04:42 > 1:04:46I think we've had enough of this, don't you?
1:04:46 > 1:04:48Yes, Miss.
1:04:48 > 1:04:55- I think the time has come to tell me what you know, hasn't it?- Yes, Miss.
1:04:58 > 1:05:01Stand up here.
1:05:04 > 1:05:07Who did it? Tell me.
1:05:07 > 1:05:10There's a good boy.
1:05:43 > 1:05:48Mark Binney, Miss. It was Mark Binney.
1:07:11 > 1:07:15Subtitles by Dorothy Moore BBC Scotland - 1986
1:07:15 > 1:07:19E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk