0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains some strong language.
0:01:24 > 0:01:30Mum, I can't find my shoes. Don't know where I left them before.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32- Where's my iPod? - Adam!
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Melissa! Come on, guys.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Help me out today, please.
0:01:40 > 0:01:46'On the day before his 40th birthday, Hector awoke with one thing in mind.
0:01:47 > 0:01:48'Connie.'
0:01:51 > 0:01:54For a moment, he luxuriated in the memory of her.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58But then he made his resolve.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00To sort things out.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:02:24 > 0:02:27MUSIC GETS LOUDER
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Hey, I'm up.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34HE SWITCHES MUSIC OFF
0:02:34 > 0:02:38- Hey, I was listening to that. - No.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40It's got to be Satchmo today.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47SAXOPHONE MUSIC STARTS
0:02:47 > 0:02:50- Slow.- Very slow.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12We've got people arriving in three hours.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16Well, you can do a ring round. Tell 'em I got the flu.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Stay home, drink champagne, fuck.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21I'm marinating meat, see.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24I could do with some marinating.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29Oh, if you're looking for your cigarettes... I've chucked them.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Say that again.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Er, you said you were giving up.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36I am, tomorrow.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Oh, fine well they're right there in the bin.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45(BOY) No, it's my game...
0:03:45 > 0:03:48- (GIRL) Dad, dad. - All right, you win.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52I'm going in nicotine free.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54If I don't come back you know who's to blame.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57- You need to give me a turn. - No.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Come on, come on we've talked about this.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03You need to share with your sister.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06She's a baby. She can't play properly.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- Can so.- Adam, let her play, mate.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10TYRES SCREECH
0:04:10 > 0:04:13She called me a fat pig.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Where'd you get these bloody chips? Jesus, Adam.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22What is wrong with you? It's breakfast time.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23This is not breakfast food.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29Mate, all I'm saying it's a beautiful day, go outside and get some fresh air, huh?
0:04:29 > 0:04:30Whatever.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36It's all yours, sweetheart.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38But I wanted to play with Adam.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Well, you'll just have to play by yourself.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Why don't you just play alone for a little while
0:04:45 > 0:04:49and I guarantee that if you just sit there doing nothing,
0:04:49 > 0:04:53- minding your own business, Adam will be back wanting to join in. How about that?- OK.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Hmm?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01I don't know whether it's him or me.
0:05:01 > 0:05:02Just get in the shower.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26- So are you OK now?- Yes.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31PHONE RINGS, ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS
0:05:31 > 0:05:32'Hector?'
0:05:42 > 0:05:44What's she saying?
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Oh, Mum's just got meat she wants to bring.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- Our fridge is full of meat. - I've already told her that.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Well, maybe I'll pick it up and tell her again.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52MACHINE BLEEPS OFF
0:05:52 > 0:05:54- Oh, I'll call her later. - Yeah.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Hey, er have you got any Valium?
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Er it's already 10:30 and I'd have to pick some up, I don't want to do it.
0:06:06 > 0:06:07Well, I've still got to go to Harry's, get the barbie,
0:06:07 > 0:06:10I could swing past your surgery on the way back.
0:06:10 > 0:06:15I've...I've...
0:06:15 > 0:06:20- I've got plenty of time. - No, listen.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Is the idea of this party really so awful that you need to get bombed?
0:06:23 > 0:06:28I just thought I ought to be prepared for when Mum starts breaking my balls.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32- It's not balls she's going to break. - So I'm taking care of you then, Aish.- Yeah...
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Look, it's on my way, I'll be in and out.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- You look like a bum. - Yes, but a very handsome bum.
0:06:39 > 0:06:40Mm? You sure?
0:06:42 > 0:06:47- All right. But Rosie's getting here at 12, I want you here, too.- Done.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52Well, remember get some ice and ring your mum.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18'Hector made a bargain with himself.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21If the traffic lights stayed green
0:07:21 > 0:07:25he'd forget his resolution for today, drive straight on through to Harry's
0:07:25 > 0:07:29and put off talking to Connie until tomorrow.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Oh, shit.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36TYRES SCREECH
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Can I have one?
0:07:45 > 0:07:48I didn't know you smoked.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49Just sometimes.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING
0:08:12 > 0:08:13This music's beautiful.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Yeah. Yeah, it is.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Well, here we are.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Aisha already paid you all right?
0:08:47 > 0:08:49So you're babysitting next Wednesday, usual time?
0:09:13 > 0:09:16'Hector considered what might happen
0:09:16 > 0:09:19if he allowed things to go any further with Connie.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Public humiliation, divorce,
0:09:23 > 0:09:27loneliness, despair, suicide.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Just got to pop through.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56DOGS YAP
0:09:56 > 0:09:57Erm, I'll call you back in five, OK?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00DOGS YAP
0:10:00 > 0:10:03What are you doing here?
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Aisha asked me to drop by and pick up some Valium.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Oh, they're in the consult room.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- Oh, if Brendan's with someone I can...I can wait. - Oh, no, I can get it. Yeah.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Is this enough?
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Yeah, plenty, thanks.
0:10:21 > 0:10:26Listen, Connie I was thinking...erm, you OK to leave the desk a minute?
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Totally, I... I'd kill for a cigarette.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37Better keep an eye out for Brendan because if he catches me smoking he'll go nuts.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Supposed to be giving up.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59You should. I'm only going to smoke till I'm 21.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02HE COUGHS
0:11:03 > 0:11:04What?
0:11:06 > 0:11:07Nothing.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21What did you want to talk about?
0:11:24 > 0:11:26We're having a party this arvo.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Maybe you should come.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30Do you want me to come?
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Why do you think I'm here?
0:11:33 > 0:11:35PHONE RINGS
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Such a prick.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Such a fucking prick.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Hogarth Road vet clinic - how can I help you?
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Yeah.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56Erm, er, do you mind holding? I better get back to it.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59- Yeah. Listen - the party.- Yeah, I finish like 1pm, I could be there like 1:30, so...
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Hello, yeah.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15You bastard. You bastard.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Come on, come in, it's hot.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18No, I've got to move mate.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19Why?
0:12:19 > 0:12:23- We've got people coming. - Oh, you're pussy whipped.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Mate, the barbie's going to take five minutes to load.
0:12:28 > 0:12:29Hey!
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Ah, mate, you're ripped.
0:12:37 > 0:12:38Well, well,
0:12:38 > 0:12:43public servant makes a quick decision. There's a first time for everything.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44Fucker.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52My cousin, 40 years old.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56- Yeah.- Unbelievable. - Not 40 yet, mate.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58- Yeah, well.- Not 40 yet.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06Yeah, well enjoy while you can, cuz. You know what, you only live once. Don't forget that.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Here he comes. Here he is. Come on,
0:13:12 > 0:13:13show me what you got.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Nice bomb.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21- Hey, Uncle Hector, happy birthday. - Thanks, mate.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Look at you two, bobbing in there like a pair of pickles.
0:13:24 > 0:13:25Here, babe.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31- Oh, Sandi, I've got to move. - Come on, it's your birthday, just a quick drink.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34Hey, you're still 39, remember?
0:13:34 > 0:13:35Happy birthday.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44- That's dry.- So he's watching TV - Pinocchio or something
0:13:44 > 0:13:48and all of a sudden he's P-L-A-Y-I-N-G with it.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51All kids do. You'd be worried if he didn't.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54WOMEN LAUGH
0:13:57 > 0:13:59But to Pinocchio?
0:13:59 > 0:14:03Ah! Adam used to play with himself in front of Playschool.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Oh, you can't blame him, that Jemima's a sexy minx.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Hey, Gazza.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Hey, Hector the birthday boy.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15- How's it going mate?- Good.- You know you don't look a day over 39 and a half, three quarters maybe.
0:14:15 > 0:14:20- Yeah, you'll be there soon, mate. - Mmmm. Happy birthday for tomorrow.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25I was about to send out a search party.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Oh, barbie was buried under junk.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Had to empty half of Gary's garage to get it out.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34- Mate, do you want a beer?- Mm, thank you.- Right I'm going to have a quick shower
0:14:34 > 0:14:35and then I'll put the calamari on.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38- Oh, I'll do it. - No you've done enough, sweetheart.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Calamari is mine.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Might just give that a rest now, hey, mate?
0:15:05 > 0:15:07KNOCKING
0:15:07 > 0:15:12I bring the meat. Where's my boy, where's my Hector?
0:15:12 > 0:15:14There's certainly a lot.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16It's better too much, darling.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18If there's any left you have for dinner tomorrow.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Dinner? Bloody hell we can open a deli.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23I told you not to bring...
0:15:31 > 0:15:35Koula, maybe I'm going to put some of this in the laundry for now.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38No darling, laundry is too dirty. Plenty of room here, let me fix it.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41- Mum let... let Aish... let Aish handle it, OK?- No, no, no.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45- That one's staying on there cause that's what this birthday needs. - Dad...
0:15:45 > 0:15:49Look at all this beautiful food.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53Thank you.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58I think you're going to make my son into a fatty, huh?
0:15:58 > 0:16:03- If Mum couldn't manage it, I don't think Aisha has a chance. - Hey, Lizzie. Are you good?
0:16:03 > 0:16:06If this government cared more about social services
0:16:06 > 0:16:08and started hiring again, I'd be better.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11What's the point of complaining?
0:16:11 > 0:16:14None at all, but don't let that stop you.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16- Koula. Hi.- Hi. - How about I put some of this aside
0:16:16 > 0:16:19and just leave the stuff that comes out after dinner?
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Yes, Rosie, but first, let me take some of this cakes for the children.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25No more for my kids, Mum. Please!
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Oh, it weighs a ton!
0:16:36 > 0:16:40Jesus, for the record, your laundry's cleaner than my kitchen!
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- I thought you were going to call them.- Shit, I forgot the ice.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Oh, I've been up since 6am, cooking, cleaning...
0:16:46 > 0:16:50- OK, OK, but was I right, or was I right?- You're definitely right.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- Later, OK.- Are you two doing drugs?
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Yeah. Baklava! Want some? Do you want to score?
0:16:56 > 0:16:57Grow up!
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Come on! Come on! Aaaagh!
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Hey, I forgot, while I was at the clinic I invited Connie.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06- Really? She won't know anyone. - Well, Brendan's coming.- Brendan?
0:17:06 > 0:17:11Brendan's 20 years older than her. They work together, but what will they talk about?
0:17:11 > 0:17:14I thought it was rude not to. She's been doing a great job baby-sitting.
0:17:14 > 0:17:18Oh, you always have to be Mr Popular.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27Hey, Adam, you want to lend a hand, help get this thing off here?
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- Do I have to?- No, you don't HAVE to.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32I just thought you might want to help.
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Oh, Jesus, Dad!
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Er, is the last one, I forgot in the boot.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Hey, I help you.
0:17:43 > 0:17:44HE LAUGHS
0:17:44 > 0:17:48How you tie 'em on? Lucky the bloody thing didn't fall off by itself!
0:17:48 > 0:17:52- Yeah, well, it didn't, did it? - Right-o.- Oompah.- On three. OK.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55- One, two, three.- Hey, wait!
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Let it go, we've got it!
0:17:57 > 0:18:01Adam, move your fat arse and help your grandfather! Now!
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- It's all right, son. - Are you all right?- It's all right.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07It's my bad knee.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Well, if it's been such a problem,
0:18:15 > 0:18:17why the hell are you shifting barbeques?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Hey, mate? You OK?
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Listen I, er...I got a scare.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45I thought Papa was going to really hurt himself.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48But still, I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm sorry.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52OK? Come here.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Hey, how about we get the barbie lit?
0:18:57 > 0:18:59We haven't done one together for yonks.
0:18:59 > 0:19:00- OK.- Yeah? Come on.
0:19:01 > 0:19:06Hector, your father's knees is swelling like a balloon.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Last month I made him an appointment to get it checked out.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11- You think he turned up? - Doctors can't do nothing.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15If the leg is gone, you put the dog down, eh, Aishimo?
0:19:15 > 0:19:18I think the dog's got a few years left in him yet.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Hector!
0:19:21 > 0:19:25Your father and me, we've got you a present for your birthday.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29- Do you want to do it now? - Yes, it's a very special present.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36There you are.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38It's for the whole family.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41We all go together to Greece.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Mum, you can't afford this.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46- The whole family?- Yes.- So what am I? - You go to Greece last year.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50Hector, he hasn't been to Greece since his children were born.
0:19:50 > 0:19:51We can't accept this.
0:19:51 > 0:19:55It's for us too, so that we can spend the holiday all together,
0:19:55 > 0:19:57with the grandchildren.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59It's too much, but thank you.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15It's incredibly generous. Thank you. And I'm just, er...
0:20:15 > 0:20:18I'm wondering about Bali.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20- What Bali?- Oh, we already have a holiday booked.
0:20:20 > 0:20:21We discussed it, Koula.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24You said you'd take the kids while we were away.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Forget Bali. If you go to Bali,
0:20:26 > 0:20:29they put a bomb on you. This is Greece.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33- It's our anniversary.- So what? You can have anniversary in Greece.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36There's a way we can work this out. I mean, can't we do both?
0:20:36 > 0:20:38- There's a week between. - It's four days.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Mum, Dad, we are blown away, this is so generous
0:20:41 > 0:20:44and the Bali thing, we'll sort it out, it won't be a problem.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Isn't that right, Aish?
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Yeah, I'm...
0:20:47 > 0:20:49I'm just going to check the oven.
0:21:00 > 0:21:05Right. So... Greece, hey?
0:21:06 > 0:21:08I reckon we better barbecue to celebrate.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14Adam, you want to start scraping?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Ah, she'll be fine.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Mate, we need some paper towels.
0:21:34 > 0:21:35I already said I'll sort it out.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Hey, Hector!
0:21:37 > 0:21:40Oh, mate! Bloody good to see you.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- Happy birthday, mate. - Oh, thanks, mate.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47- Yassou, Manolis. - Hello, Terry! How you going, eh?
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Dad, his name's Bilal now.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53No, it's cool, I answer to all sorts of things.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56- And we got you a card, the kids made it themselves.- Oh! Gee!
0:21:56 > 0:21:59Oh, well, that certainly says it all.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Hey, Terry, you want a drink, eh?
0:22:01 > 0:22:04- Light beer, like me.- Light, heavy, I can't do it any more, Manolis.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Let me grab you a Coke, eh?
0:22:06 > 0:22:09- Sorry about that. - No, it's all right.
0:22:09 > 0:22:14- I WAS always pissed.- What are you going to do? We were young, right?
0:22:14 > 0:22:17- I'm glad that's all over. - Oh, mate, are you serious?
0:22:17 > 0:22:20The bands, the chicks...
0:22:20 > 0:22:22I just prefer what I've got now.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Yeah. Yeah.
0:22:26 > 0:22:27Yeah. Now's good, too.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35We can't do both trips.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38- The leave entitlements won't cover it.- I can take unpaid time.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41I'm in private practice, it was hard to swing Bali.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Brendan'll cover if you ask him.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Brendan? He hasn't had a holiday in over a year
0:22:45 > 0:22:48and now he's supposed to cover while I have two in a row?
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Oh, we're getting old, Aish.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Maybe we'll look back and wish we'd made this a priority.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57I can't remember the last time we had a holiday, just the two of us without the kids.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Don't you think that's a priority too?
0:23:02 > 0:23:04- All right, I hear you.- OK?
0:23:04 > 0:23:08Don't look now, but I think we have a celebrity in the house!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10CHILDREN SHOUT EXCITEDLY
0:23:10 > 0:23:13- She brought him!- Who?
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Anouk's beau, the soap star.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18I never believe you did the murder, never.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20- Oh.- I always know you innocent.
0:23:20 > 0:23:25- Oh, thanks for the compliments, Mrs Sossidis.- You better go.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Rhys, I don't usually watch soaps.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29No offence, they're just not my style.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32- But I really do love your work. - Oh, thank you, thank you.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36- Can I take your picture?- Yeah, of course.- It's a very good show.
0:23:36 > 0:23:42- Very good issue, you know?- Hey, Anouk! Hi, how are you? Good to see.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45- Ah you must be Rhys, right?- Yeah. - Yeah, I'm Hector.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48- Oh, happy birthday, Hector. - Thanks, mate.- Happy birthday.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51- Hey you look like a man who could use a drink.- Yeah.- Make that two.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Come inside I've got a couple with your names on 'em.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57- Excuse me a minute. - I'd love to talk later, Rhys,
0:23:57 > 0:24:01about a drama group for the homeless I'm trying to organise.
0:24:01 > 0:24:02Oh, OK.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04I guess you must get that all the time?
0:24:04 > 0:24:09- No.- What he normally gets is teenage girls posting him their G-strings.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Koula looked like she was about to rip her knickers off and throw 'em at ya.
0:24:12 > 0:24:16- Rosie!- Don't worry, mate, I promise you that is not going to happen on my watch.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25So it's great to finally meet you, Rhys.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31- Oh, cheers.- Cheers, cheers.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Great to meet you all, I've heard so much about you.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37- We heard nothing about you. - Oh, really?
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Well, I didn't want to throw you to the Piranha Sisters over here.
0:24:40 > 0:24:44- Good call.- Oh, we're not that bad, are we?- It's all right, I can swim.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49You do look quite different in real life.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58I wouldn't agonise for too long if I were you.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01- To most people, all jazz sounds the same.- Hey, it's my party.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05I hear you're giving up smoking.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07You ought to do the same
0:25:07 > 0:25:09if you're going to keep up with wonder boy over there.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17You better be nice or I might not give you your birthday present.
0:25:17 > 0:25:18I'm always nice.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Remember Charlie?
0:25:22 > 0:25:24If you want it.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42What's going on?
0:25:42 > 0:25:46- He bit me.- He did it for no reason! - Really? Let me see. Oh, I'm...
0:25:46 > 0:25:49- I'm sure he didn't mean it, darling. - He bit me on purpose.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51- Look the teeth marks in my arm. - How can you bite?
0:25:51 > 0:25:54- What is going on here?- He bit me...
0:25:54 > 0:25:57- Quiet, quiet!- Oh, sweetheart.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00- Boobie, I want boobie. - Oh, my sweetheart.
0:26:03 > 0:26:04Boobie!
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Adam, you show some respect to our guests or I'll swear I'll...
0:26:09 > 0:26:13- be in your room.- Why do I always get blamed?- He didn't do anything.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16- Hugo bit me.- Why do you think, Adam? - What's going on?
0:26:16 > 0:26:20- Oh, the little brat bit Sava.- Why? - Fighting over the TV.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23- Well, then, switch it off. - Oh, Jesus, they'll go nuts.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27- Oh, can you help me out just this once?- What's that supposed to mean?
0:26:27 > 0:26:28Boobie!
0:26:31 > 0:26:32Adam, I'm not blaming you, mate,
0:26:32 > 0:26:35but you're the oldest and Hugo's the youngest.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38- I'm trusting you to look out for him, understood?- Whatever.
0:26:58 > 0:26:59KNOCKING
0:26:59 > 0:27:04- Hello. You just leave the door unlocked like that?- Ah.
0:27:04 > 0:27:08- Ah Naots ou pousti, ah. - Happy birthday, Grandpa. Eh.- Hey.
0:27:08 > 0:27:14- Say happy birthday.- Rocco.- Hey mate. - Hi.- How are you little buddy?
0:27:14 > 0:27:17- All right?- Yeah, good. - Hello, how are you?
0:27:17 > 0:27:21Who's this, who's this Popa boy oma gallah.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24Come on. Rocco, I've got a new game controller.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28Wow, look at that spread! Did Aish do that all by herself?
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Mum did the salads, but other than that, yeah.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Yeah, of course, man there's a feast.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Caterers couldn't do better than that.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36- Put this in the...inside?- Yeah.
0:27:36 > 0:27:40It's beautiful. She's a good woman. I'll go say hi.
0:27:46 > 0:27:50- Oh.- Sorry, it's just me. - Been sweating like a pig.
0:27:50 > 0:27:54I just wanted to say - what you've done out there, it's incredible.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Yeah, and if a starving football team shows up,
0:27:57 > 0:27:59it might even get eaten.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02- Did you talk to your parents. - About what?- Greece.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04It doesn't have to be sorted out now, does it?
0:28:04 > 0:28:07The longer you leave things, the harder it gets.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10- So you've decided we're not going? - It's our anniversary.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13- They didn't know that.- Your mother knew what she was hijacking.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16- She doesn't forget an anniversary. - Why are you riding me today, Aisha?
0:28:16 > 0:28:19- Riding you?- First I'm in the doghouse for running late,
0:28:19 > 0:28:22- then you undercut me with the kids. - Bullshit!
0:28:22 > 0:28:25Now it's my parents in trouble, because they bought us a dream trip.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29Dragging two kids around a country where I don't speak the language,
0:28:29 > 0:28:32- visiting all of your 550 fucking cousins is not my dream! - Fine, you win.
0:28:32 > 0:28:36I never wanted a big party either, but you pushed that through too
0:28:36 > 0:28:37just like you push everything.
0:28:37 > 0:28:40Now you got your big party, can't you at least let me enjoy it?
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Have a ball.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46Fuck!
0:28:46 > 0:28:49Aisha.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55Oh, Hugo, no, those aren't for kids.
0:28:59 > 0:29:02No, no, no, no, no...
0:29:03 > 0:29:07HE CONTINUES SCREAMING
0:29:23 > 0:29:24Aisha.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29I'm so sorry for what I said about the party. I'm...
0:29:29 > 0:29:32- Please, I'm ashamed of myself. - Just forget it. We've got guests.
0:29:32 > 0:29:36- I'm trying to apologise.- I'm saying, just get on with it. OK?
0:29:36 > 0:29:37Jesus.
0:29:52 > 0:29:55'Hector fantasized about walking out
0:29:55 > 0:29:58'and flying to Latin America without even leaving a note.
0:30:03 > 0:30:06'Then he reconsidered. A note would be good,
0:30:06 > 0:30:09'outlining what a controlling bitch she was,
0:30:09 > 0:30:12'how patient he'd been, and how much he'd suffered.'
0:30:18 > 0:30:25- 'Hello, Hector?'- Hi, how's it going? - 'Where are you?'- Why, where are you?
0:30:25 > 0:30:28'In the back yard, I've been looking everywhere for you.'
0:30:28 > 0:30:30Ah I'm just inside, I'll, er, be out in a minute.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42You look like you're going to smash someone.
0:30:42 > 0:30:44You going to dance with me?
0:30:44 > 0:30:47- Actually, mate, I might serve out some snacks.- Ah, pussy.
0:30:55 > 0:30:56Movin' up, Hector.
0:30:56 > 0:31:00- Come on, get into it then, hey? - I might sit this one out.- Oh, weak.
0:31:06 > 0:31:07Hector! Hector!
0:31:09 > 0:31:10It's too loud, it's too loud.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12You wanted something up-tempo.
0:31:12 > 0:31:15Don't embarrass me.
0:31:15 > 0:31:17Do my best.
0:31:25 > 0:31:29- Hey.- Hi.
0:31:29 > 0:31:31Can you grab me one?
0:31:33 > 0:31:34Thanks.
0:31:35 > 0:31:40So, er...brought your boyfriend?
0:31:40 > 0:31:45- Richie?- Yeah.- He's not my boyfriend. - What is he then?
0:31:45 > 0:31:49He's just someone I brought along so that I'd have someone to talk to.
0:31:49 > 0:31:51You've got me to talk to.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58Are you jealous?
0:32:00 > 0:32:02What do you think?
0:32:07 > 0:32:11MUSIC STOPS
0:32:11 > 0:32:14Richie's waiting for his beer.
0:32:20 > 0:32:23Heroin dealers made a demand, does that make it OK?
0:32:23 > 0:32:28- It's just television, Gary. - It's absolute bullshit. Look...
0:32:28 > 0:32:31- Hey, Hector. You tell us, is Anouk wasting her time?- Hey?
0:32:31 > 0:32:34Anouk on that stupid soap opera? She's wasting her talent, right?
0:32:34 > 0:32:39No, I... I think she's got a lot of talent, she could do a lot of different things.
0:32:39 > 0:32:42- Actually, she's already started on a...on a novel.- Shut up, Rhys.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44- Yeah.- Really?- Wow.
0:32:44 > 0:32:48Well, I don't read too many books but you know what? I like that show.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50- What do you like about it? - You know, sometimes,
0:32:50 > 0:32:53you just want to veg out to something, you know?
0:32:53 > 0:32:56- That's all you want sometimes. - And you're very good in it, Rhys.
0:32:56 > 0:33:00- How... How... How is he good in that?- He is good in it. He is...
0:33:00 > 0:33:04Last year in those scenes where you were accused of murder, I...
0:33:04 > 0:33:07- I believed you were innocent. - Yeah, same.- Thank you.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10You shot a man in Vermont, eh? Just to watch him die.
0:33:10 > 0:33:13Ha, ha, ha, ha.
0:33:13 > 0:33:18- I don't get it. - It's a line from a Johnny Cash song.
0:33:18 > 0:33:19I still don't get it.
0:33:19 > 0:33:22I'm acknowledging the tortured artist in our midst.
0:33:22 > 0:33:24Gary's a tortured artist, too. Our most tortured.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28- Well, I'm a labourer and you know that.- Oh, that's just his day job.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31Really he's a painter. A visual artiste.
0:33:31 > 0:33:34Come on, guys, let's not argue, we all got to work.
0:33:34 > 0:33:37I mean, you know, Rhys is an actor, Harry's a mechanic,
0:33:37 > 0:33:39I push paper, what are you going to do?
0:33:44 > 0:33:47What was that?
0:33:47 > 0:33:49- Eh?- What did you just say?
0:33:50 > 0:33:54- I was just saying that some Malaka needs to make a speech.- Hey.
0:33:54 > 0:33:59- Hey, speech.- Hey, everyone, it's speech time, come out.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05Boys, come over here for a second.
0:34:05 > 0:34:08Today, my cousin Hector turns 40.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12- CHEERING - Bravo!
0:34:12 > 0:34:16That is the reason for this great spread that you see here today,
0:34:16 > 0:34:18this beautiful food, the wonderful hospitality.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21Thank you, Hector. And thank you, Aisha.
0:34:24 > 0:34:27OK now, er, er, I'll try and keep it short,
0:34:27 > 0:34:29I'm not very good at these things.
0:34:29 > 0:34:33- Hector's the brains in this family. - HECTOR BURPS
0:34:33 > 0:34:34Oh, Hectora.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38He's the charmer. He's the charmer round here.
0:34:41 > 0:34:44This guy here, this Malaka, I've known him all my life.
0:34:44 > 0:34:47He's more like a brother to me than a cousin. Right, he's a good man.
0:34:47 > 0:34:50Right, and I'll tell you why he's a good man,
0:34:50 > 0:34:54cos these two people right here, Thea Manoli and Thea Koula,
0:34:54 > 0:34:57the love and the support that they've given Hector,
0:34:57 > 0:35:00I think that's the reason why he's such a...
0:35:00 > 0:35:02such a good husband and a good father.
0:35:02 > 0:35:06- And of course because of Aisha as well, right?- Yay!
0:35:06 > 0:35:10- I know the wops can bust your balls, I know.- Yep.
0:35:10 > 0:35:14But I'm glad you hung in there because, I don't know, he's going a bit, er...
0:35:14 > 0:35:18- He was going a bit weird before he met you.- Blame university, mate.
0:35:18 > 0:35:23- Oh, I do mate, don't you worry. But thank God he met Aisha, right?- Yeah.
0:35:23 > 0:35:27Thanks for straightening him out. Look at you two, re poustides?
0:35:27 > 0:35:31Are they not the most gorgeous couple that you've seen or what?
0:35:31 > 0:35:34- Hey?- Yeah.- Come on. - CHEERING
0:35:35 > 0:35:40Ah, I just want to propose a toast. Everyone lift your glasses, please.
0:35:40 > 0:35:44Hector, long life, Miya, congratulations,
0:35:44 > 0:35:47nata catra, thesis, I love you, brother.
0:35:47 > 0:35:51- Happy birthday, Hector. - ALL: Happy birthday.
0:35:56 > 0:35:58Jump up!
0:35:58 > 0:36:01- Speech, speech.- Thank you, Harry.
0:36:01 > 0:36:07- Erm, you're dead right, I... I do owe everything to Mum and Dad. - Hugo. Darling.
0:36:07 > 0:36:10- Hugo!- You know, their support over the years.
0:36:10 > 0:36:14- Don't pull those out of the garden. - And of course, er... And, er...
0:36:14 > 0:36:16you know Aisha and she's, er supported me...
0:36:16 > 0:36:20- Don't pull the flowers up.- Wouldn't be here...- Don't do that.- ..today...
0:36:20 > 0:36:23- Listen, listen. You know what you're doing.- No, no!
0:36:23 > 0:36:27- Destroying the garden bed, mate! - But, er...- No!- Come here.- No!
0:36:27 > 0:36:29Like Harry said, I'm a lucky guy.
0:36:29 > 0:36:33So I just want to thank everyone for coming and, er, please...
0:36:33 > 0:36:35- Put me down! - ..eat, drink and enjoy yourselves.
0:36:38 > 0:36:40- Cheers.- Cheers, Hector.
0:36:40 > 0:36:44- Happy birthday, Hector. - I want boobie.- Hold on, my sweet.
0:36:55 > 0:36:59SHOUTING
0:37:05 > 0:37:08- He smashed the controller! - What, what now?
0:37:08 > 0:37:11I let him join in just like you said and now he's broken it.
0:37:11 > 0:37:14- He smashed it on purpose.- All right, all right.- He's young, guys.
0:37:14 > 0:37:18He's impatient to play with you boys. It's all right, darling.
0:37:19 > 0:37:23- What's going on, Rocco?- He lost it because he wasn't winning.- Rocco!
0:37:23 > 0:37:27- It's so fucking unfair.- Rocco, go in Adam's room now. Come on, out here.
0:37:27 > 0:37:29Into his room.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32Is he going to be punished? I would be if I did this.
0:37:33 > 0:37:38- Sorry your controller got broken, but Hugo's not my son.- But I am.
0:37:44 > 0:37:47I wanted to play with it and they didn't let me play with it.
0:37:51 > 0:37:52Five.
0:37:52 > 0:37:55- I don't believe you. - He blows my mind!
0:37:57 > 0:37:59It's time these kids got some exercise.
0:37:59 > 0:38:03Oh, initiative, that's good to see! About time.
0:38:08 > 0:38:10Richie, right?
0:38:10 > 0:38:13Could you organise cricket for these kids? They're climbing the walls.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15- I'm not a cricket guy. - It's all right.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18As long as they're out of the house. I'll save that for you.
0:38:18 > 0:38:21- Want to help?- OK, guys. You are with Richie here.
0:38:21 > 0:38:24He's going to teach you some mad cricket skills.
0:38:24 > 0:38:28- I appreciate it. Have fun, guys.- Yay.- Play hard.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33- Now who's... who's batting?- Me, me.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35All right, I'll bowl, I'll bowl.
0:38:38 > 0:38:41- Do you want one?- No, no - giving up, remember?- Are you sure?
0:38:41 > 0:38:44Yeah, you go ahead.
0:38:52 > 0:38:53< All right.
0:38:57 > 0:39:01OK, Hugo, remember if you hit the ball and someone catches it, you're out.
0:39:29 > 0:39:33- Come on, Hugo, smash 'em. - Let it get in the way.
0:39:33 > 0:39:38Listen, I don't really want to put my kid through a private school, OK?
0:39:38 > 0:39:43So you're saying that everyone has to be able to afford to be able to put 'em in good education...
0:39:43 > 0:39:46and anyone who gets there just leaves the system...
0:39:46 > 0:39:49If I'd known it was your birthday, I'd've got you a present.
0:39:49 > 0:39:52But it's tomorrow, isn't it, so I can still get you something.
0:39:54 > 0:39:56I want you, that's what I want.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04- Yes, he's out!- Yeah!
0:40:04 > 0:40:06No. Yeah, he's out. LBW!
0:40:06 > 0:40:09Oh, he doesn't know what that means.
0:40:09 > 0:40:11I don't care! If he wants to play, he's got to follow the rules.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14- No, it's not out. - Give me the bat.- No.- Hugo!
0:40:14 > 0:40:17Give him the bat, mate, you're out. I'll explain why later.
0:40:17 > 0:40:18- Hugo, give me the bat.- No.
0:40:18 > 0:40:21- Hugo.- Hugo, now! Hugo, give me the bat, please?
0:40:21 > 0:40:24- Hugo, put the bat down. - Hugo, give me the bat, please?
0:40:24 > 0:40:27- No!- Give me the bat. Put the bat down.- No.- You're out.
0:40:27 > 0:40:29Get away, Rocco!
0:40:31 > 0:40:33Hey, hey, that's enough. OK, no more!
0:40:33 > 0:40:36Do you understand?
0:40:38 > 0:40:40You animal. Fuckin' animal.
0:40:40 > 0:40:45- Come here! Hey! Touch my kid! - He deserves it.
0:40:45 > 0:40:49- He hit him in the ear.- He deserved it.- You fucking bastard.
0:40:49 > 0:40:51That's it. Let's all go inside.
0:40:51 > 0:40:56Hey, you know what? I don't blame him though, I don't blame him. I blame his pisspot mum and dad.
0:40:56 > 0:41:00- No. That is abuse. That is child abuse.- Espito.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03SHOUTING
0:41:03 > 0:41:05- Speak in English, huh? - Nothing, mate, OK? Just relax.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07Well, say it in English!
0:41:07 > 0:41:09I'm not scared of this faggot.
0:41:09 > 0:41:11You fucking monster.
0:41:11 > 0:41:15- I'm not leaving for him.- Stop it. - You are gone, mate, you are gone.
0:41:15 > 0:41:17You are finished. All right? All right? That's it.
0:41:17 > 0:41:19I want everyone's numbers, I...
0:41:19 > 0:41:22I'm calling the cops, you're all witnesses. What?
0:41:22 > 0:41:25- Listen! Let's take our children home.- Does he hit you too?
0:41:25 > 0:41:27Does that animal hit you too? Does he? Huh?
0:41:28 > 0:41:30You pig!
0:41:32 > 0:41:34Listen to me. I've got everyone's details.
0:41:34 > 0:41:37Let's go inside, forget about this and go home.
0:41:37 > 0:41:41Sandi's right, take the children home. Let's just get everyone inside.
0:41:54 > 0:41:56Let's go and see Rosie.
0:41:56 > 0:41:59- Let's go and see Hugo. - Yeah.- Let's go and find them.
0:42:17 > 0:42:19CRYING
0:42:19 > 0:42:21Rosie?
0:42:21 > 0:42:25Anouk said she'll, er, drive you home whenever you're ready to go.
0:42:25 > 0:42:29Good, I just want to get out of this house.
0:42:30 > 0:42:33If there's anything I can do, anything at all, just let me know.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44I can't believe he hit that child.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47- What kind of an arsehole can do that?- Connie.
0:42:47 > 0:42:51- It's bad enough people hitting their own children. - Connie, please...
0:42:51 > 0:42:55This, er... this thing we've been doing, I'm really sorry
0:42:55 > 0:42:59if I've been leading you on but we've got to stop now.
0:42:59 > 0:43:00Do you understand?
0:43:02 > 0:43:03Do you understand?
0:43:03 > 0:43:06Of course I understand.
0:43:06 > 0:43:09Look, I think you're very special, but I love Aisha.
0:43:10 > 0:43:13Don't you know I do as well?
0:43:13 > 0:43:17I hate what we're doing, it's disgusting.
0:43:17 > 0:43:18OK.
0:43:20 > 0:43:23So to protect Aisha it's best if we never say anything about this.
0:43:23 > 0:43:25- OK?- Don't worry.
0:43:25 > 0:43:30This thing's so twisted, I wouldn't want anyone to know, ever.
0:43:32 > 0:43:36I mean, we... nothing really happened between us.
0:43:36 > 0:43:40So disgusting, and old and weird-looking.
0:43:41 > 0:43:44I just don't know why you bothered inviting me.
0:44:05 > 0:44:08PANTS
0:44:18 > 0:44:20- You OK?- Yeah. You?
0:44:20 > 0:44:21- Yeah.- Thank you for lunch.
0:44:21 > 0:44:25- I think mine are asleep in the car anyway...- Lucky you.- Yeah.
0:44:40 > 0:44:42Hector! I am really, really sorry.
0:44:42 > 0:44:45- Christ, you scared the shit out of me.- Sorry, it's...
0:44:45 > 0:44:47This thing with Hugo. I didn't mean it.
0:44:47 > 0:44:50- I don't know anything about cricket, I...- Richie. Slow down.
0:44:50 > 0:44:53- It wasn't your fault, mate. - I just can't stop thinking.
0:44:53 > 0:44:56- What if that boy's traumatised? - Nothing's happened,
0:44:56 > 0:44:58and it wouldn't be your fault even if it had.
0:44:58 > 0:45:00- It's all good, honestly.- Good.
0:45:00 > 0:45:03Er, can I do something? I could help clean.
0:45:03 > 0:45:06No, mate, go home, go out, whatever you were planning on doing.
0:45:06 > 0:45:09Leave the cleaning up to us old farts.
0:45:10 > 0:45:11Right.
0:45:22 > 0:45:27Hey, Aish, thanks, you did good, hosing that one down.
0:45:27 > 0:45:31- Oh, is that how you see it? A little squirt of water, spot fire, it's all OK?- No.
0:45:31 > 0:45:34I just meant that it got pretty heated out there, Jesus.
0:45:34 > 0:45:37Your cousin hit a child in our house, of course it did.
0:45:37 > 0:45:39OK, but there are two sides to it, Aish.
0:45:39 > 0:45:42- If we're going to argue, I want the children in bed.- I'm not.
0:45:42 > 0:45:46- Can you put them to bed, please? - It's nine o'clock. - Can you do this one thing?
0:46:23 > 0:46:24You all right?
0:46:26 > 0:46:28Want to talk?
0:46:28 > 0:46:30No, I'm good.
0:46:35 > 0:46:36OK.
0:46:45 > 0:46:49Well, I don't know if they're asleep, but, er, they're in bed.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52I want you to know, I'm sick of everyone excusing that man.
0:46:52 > 0:46:55Because he's your cousin he thinks he can get away with murder.
0:46:55 > 0:46:57All right, I agree with you, Aisha.
0:46:57 > 0:47:00Harry shouldn't have hit the boy.
0:47:00 > 0:47:02You say anything to end a fight.
0:47:02 > 0:47:08He was wrong. Pure and simple, and I shouldn't have defended him, OK?
0:47:08 > 0:47:11I'm so sorry that your party got all fucked up.
0:47:11 > 0:47:16I mean, you put so much work in, it wasn't...just wasn't fair.
0:47:16 > 0:47:22- And I'll sort the Greece thing out tomorrow, I promise.- Will you?
0:47:22 > 0:47:26Yeah, maybe I'll talk to Brendan first about the dates
0:47:26 > 0:47:29and see if we can arrange something.
0:47:29 > 0:47:32Yeah. All right.
0:47:43 > 0:47:45Want that Valium now?
0:47:45 > 0:47:48No, I don't want the fucking Valium.
0:47:49 > 0:47:51Ooh!
0:48:03 > 0:48:05The kids won't be asleep yet.
0:48:05 > 0:48:08- Oh, we'll be quiet.- No, we won't!
0:48:08 > 0:48:10SHE SQUEALS
0:49:00 > 0:49:02Yeah, I understand, I just...
0:49:04 > 0:49:06I thought that maybe you'd...
0:49:06 > 0:49:08you'd want to sleep first and then clear your head.
0:49:11 > 0:49:15Rosie, how do you think I feel, something like that happening to you in our house?
0:49:17 > 0:49:21Yeah, yeah, you know I will. Do whatever you need.
0:49:22 > 0:49:24'Hector was an atheist,
0:49:24 > 0:49:29'but he thanked God anyway for all that had happened that afternoon.
0:49:29 > 0:49:33'The slap had saved him from a disastrous mistake.
0:49:33 > 0:49:36'A mistake which he would have forever regretted.'
0:49:42 > 0:49:44It's my last one. Really.
0:49:56 > 0:50:00Rosie's called the police. She says they're going to press charges.
0:50:00 > 0:50:02Oh, shit.
0:50:11 > 0:50:13It's after midnight.
0:50:14 > 0:50:16Happy birthday!
0:50:23 > 0:50:25Wow.
0:50:28 > 0:50:30I want you to be kinder to Adam.
0:50:37 > 0:50:39I won't be so hard on him.
0:50:40 > 0:50:41I promise I'll change.
0:50:47 > 0:50:53# Mmm, someday
0:50:53 > 0:50:57# You'll be sorry... #
0:51:04 > 0:51:07Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:51:07 > 0:51:10E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk