0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language
0:00:05 > 0:00:07- Have you got loads of it? - Just a loft full!
0:00:07 > 0:00:11- I've got me meeting at half 11. - Do you still go to that? - More than seven years on the wagon.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14What the hell's going on? What's happened to me dad?
0:00:14 > 0:00:15Don't untie him.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21PHONE BUZZES
0:00:21 > 0:00:25# You can dance, you can jive
0:00:25 > 0:00:29# Having the time of your life
0:00:29 > 0:00:33# Oooh-oh-oh, see that... #
0:00:33 > 0:00:36- Hello? - 'Rose, it's Mandy.'
0:00:36 > 0:00:39I'm sorry, Mandy. I can't understand what you're saying.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42- Who is it?- 'We might have won the lottery.'- Mandy!
0:00:42 > 0:00:44- 'Are you there?' - Yeah, I'm still here.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47- 'We might have won the lottery.' - Right.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51- Hello?- Alan, it's Helen. I'm pretty certain we've won the Euro Lottery.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54- She can't find it?- 'If Mandy kept my numbers and Becky hadn't lost it...'
0:00:54 > 0:00:59- She can't have lost it.- Who's that? - 'It's Sean.'
0:00:59 > 0:01:03- Does Rose know? - OK, well look, thanks for telling me.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- And let me know if you find it. - Keep me posted.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12- Ah! Ah!- We've only gone and won the bleedin' lottery!
0:01:12 > 0:01:15We've won the Euro Lottery! Ah!
0:01:15 > 0:01:18- Ah-ha! Oh, me knees! Me knees! Me knees!- Are you all right?
0:01:18 > 0:01:21- Me knees! Oh, yeah. - What are we going to do?
0:01:21 > 0:01:26Oh! I don't know! I don't know. Maybe... Get dressed.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30Have some breakfast, bloody celebrate! Hey, shall I roll us a fat one?
0:01:30 > 0:01:33No, no! We've got to keep our brains together.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35- She hasn't found the ticket yet. - She will.
0:01:35 > 0:01:40Oh, my God, look at the state of me! Oh, I'll have to go home.
0:01:40 > 0:01:47- Why?- Well, got to make sure everything's all right and get changed.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50- What for? You look all right. - I've got to go to work.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53- I'm on earlies. - You've still got three hours yet.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57- Hey, and if we've won the lottery, you'll never have to work again! - Stop it! Don't!
0:01:57 > 0:01:59We mustn't build our hopes up like last time.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02No, no, no, you're right. I tell you what,
0:02:02 > 0:02:04I could run you into work if you like.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08No, I can't go in work in the same clothes as I had on last night.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12- Why not?- Because everybody'll know I didn't go home.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16- So, you're a grown woman.- I don't want people talking about me.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Only thing people are going to talk about is us winning the bloody lottery.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21She thinks we've got five numbers.
0:02:21 > 0:02:26- That's a big lump of money. - All right, how about a bacon butty, then I'll drive you home?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Eh, no. I'll get the bus.
0:02:29 > 0:02:34Are you, er, are you all right about what happened last night?
0:02:34 > 0:02:39Er, yeah. Yeah. It's just, I don't want everybody knowing, that's all.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43Right. Of course. What happens in the doobie bubble,
0:02:43 > 0:02:46- stays in the doobie bubble. I get it.- We work together.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50- And I've got my family to think of. - No need to explain.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52This never happened.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55I didn't mean that. I meant...
0:02:55 > 0:03:00- Yeah.- I don't know what I meant.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03I better go.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18# All or nothing
0:03:18 > 0:03:21# All or nothing
0:03:21 > 0:03:23# I guess I'll sing it to myself
0:03:23 > 0:03:25# All or nothing
0:03:25 > 0:03:31# Yeah, for you, yeah. #
0:03:31 > 0:03:34CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS
0:03:36 > 0:03:40So, what are you going to say if they ask you where you were
0:03:40 > 0:03:42when you heard we'd won 72 million?
0:03:42 > 0:03:45At home, in bed. Why what are you going to say?
0:03:45 > 0:03:47We could tell the truth.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50And be a laughing stock? Why would we do that?
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Here we go...
0:03:52 > 0:03:56So, we don't mention Helen, unless they bring it up, right?
0:03:56 > 0:03:58That's right, they may have got wind of it or not,
0:03:58 > 0:04:00we don't really know.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02But, as far as you're concerned,
0:04:02 > 0:04:06you always thought there were only ever five members in the syndicate.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- That's the truth. - And we stick to that.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10There was only five of us in the syndicate.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Alan, what are you doing?
0:04:12 > 0:04:13What do you mean?
0:04:13 > 0:04:15I thought you were on the wagon.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17It's just a few bubbles to celebrate, that's all.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20They just want a couple of comments from each of you
0:04:20 > 0:04:21and some photographs.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23It should all be over and done with in half an hour.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Right, has everybody got some champagne?
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Alan, you need a little top up.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Mandy and Becky, as you are the official winner
0:04:33 > 0:04:35and the organiser of the syndicate, would you mind holding
0:04:35 > 0:04:38the cheque with one hand and raising your glasses with the other?
0:04:38 > 0:04:39That's fine
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Well, we better get a move on,
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Look North's going to be starting soon.
0:04:51 > 0:04:52I saw you on the news.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Oh, now then. What you up to?
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Getting petrol. You were on Look North.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02I always said I'd be rich one day, you just never believed me.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Well, maybe you can pay the money back I lent you now.
0:05:05 > 0:05:10Yeah, I'll do that, I'll give you interest and all. How's kids?
0:05:10 > 0:05:12It was Kieran's 21st, you forgot.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16Oh, shit, I'll send him sommat.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19You'd better send it to Kingston University Campus cos that's where he's living now.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Oh right, I didn't know.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22God, you're pathetic.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24If you hadn't bad-mouthed me, they might've...
0:05:24 > 0:05:27I never bad-mouthed you, they've got eyes and ears,
0:05:27 > 0:05:28they made up their own mind.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31I've tried phoning him, but he must've changed his number.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Number four, please, mate.
0:05:40 > 0:05:45Bloody hell, are you the... the one in the paper, him there...
0:05:45 > 0:05:47it's you, you won the lottery.
0:05:47 > 0:05:48That's right, 14 million.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Shit, man, Euro Lottery, wasn't it?
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Yeah. Yeah.
0:05:52 > 0:05:53And pump four's your car?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55- What's wrong with me car?- It's old.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57- It's a classic.- It's orange.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58It's still a classic.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Anyway, money doesn't come in till tomorrow
0:06:00 > 0:06:04and then I'm going to buy meself a mint E-Type Jag, 1967.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05£41.74.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07Okey dokey... There you go.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11It must be a fantastic feeling to know you can have anything you want.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Yeah... Yeah, it is, yeah.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17I tell you what, give us a bottle of vodka, as well.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21We're having a "last night of being skint bash" and I don't want to go empty-handed.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23And can you put it in a bag for me, as well?
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Sure. That'll be another 18 pounds.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29There you go... Keep the change.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Cheers mate, I'll buy me lottery ticket with this.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35There you go... Have you got an e-mail address or a phone number for our Kieran?
0:06:35 > 0:06:37I'll have to ask him if I can give it you first.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39You don't have to ask him, he's me son.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41It's not up to me, I'll let you know.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43When am I going to get me seven and a half grand back?
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Well, money comes into bank tomorrow, so I'll let you know.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- I'll be in touch.- Can't wait.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52PHONE RINGS
0:07:01 > 0:07:03PHONE KEEPS RINGING
0:07:05 > 0:07:07ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS
0:07:07 > 0:07:10'Hi Alan, it's me Colin, I've been trying to get hold of you, mate.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13'I didn't want to say anything yesterday at Odsal, but you've
0:07:13 > 0:07:16'missed a couple of meetings and I just wondered if you're on track.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18'Give us a ring back, mate.'
0:07:22 > 0:07:23I'll get them back to you.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Who's told you that?
0:07:25 > 0:07:27GENERAL CHATTER
0:07:30 > 0:07:33I've never been to Asia, I've only ever been on holiday in Europe.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Oh, you'd love it, you'd love it.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Now I've got the money I want to go back
0:07:37 > 0:07:39for a couple of months, but it's no fun on your own.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Not got a girlfriend?
0:07:41 > 0:07:43No, I wish I had, Tracy, I wish I had.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46I thought I was in with a chance, a woman I work with.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48What are you doin'?
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Watering it down or I get gut rot.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53I've known her for years.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55To be honest with you,
0:07:55 > 0:07:59she's not really the type I usually go for, you know,
0:07:59 > 0:08:01she's older than me, but I liked her.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Any road, it all went pear-shaped.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07I don't know what I do, I manage to scare 'em all off.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Why don't you ask your son or daughter to go to Thailand with you?
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Me son's at university now.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17So, what I'd really like is somebody who's free and single,
0:08:17 > 0:08:20wants to see a bit of the world and doesn't mind sharing a bed...
0:08:20 > 0:08:24I'm joking, forget that last bit, it'd be nice, but not essential.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27So what do you think?
0:08:27 > 0:08:29About what?
0:08:29 > 0:08:31You and me, Thailand, airfare,
0:08:31 > 0:08:36hotel and I'll even chuck in five grand spending money.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38What do you think I am?!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Bloody hell, what did I say?
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Your friend's either pissed or he's a pervert.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Can't be pissed.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49He doesn't drink and he's not a pervert.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Really? He just offered me five grand to go on holiday
0:08:51 > 0:08:55with him, like I'm some sort of bloody prostitute. Tosser!
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Shit. Excuse me...
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Are you all right, mate?
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Apart from dripping in red wine, yeah(!)
0:09:04 > 0:09:05What did you say to Natalie's sister?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Nowt, I said I was planning on going to Thailand
0:09:07 > 0:09:11and was lookin' for someone to come with me. I think she took it t'wrong way.
0:09:11 > 0:09:12What are you drinking?
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Orange juice.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29KNOCKING ON DOOR
0:09:35 > 0:09:38So what do I owe this to?
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Me being pissed off cos you've not rung me back.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45Yeah, well, I've been a bit busy, what with winning lottery and that!
0:09:49 > 0:09:50Have you been drinking?
0:09:50 > 0:09:52After what I've been through. Are you mental?
0:09:52 > 0:09:53Why would I do that?
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Cos you're an alcoholic.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57No, I haven't been drinking.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58You missed two meetings.
0:09:58 > 0:09:59Like I said, I've been busy.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02You can tell me... I slipped, twice. I'm powerless over alcohol.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05What's your wife think about you out at this time of night? Go home!
0:10:05 > 0:10:08One sip and that's me done for. We all fall off the wagon, Alan.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11I haven't fallen off the wagon. I've got your number if I need you.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14You told me your 13-year-old son found you in a heap of shite
0:10:14 > 0:10:15and vomit and phoned 999.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Don't keep bringing that up. You're worse than my ex-wife.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21He saved your life, Alan, you were two drinks away from being dead.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23- I wish I'd never told you. - No, you don't.
0:10:23 > 0:10:24I've not been drinking.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27I can smell the booze oozing out of your pores, mate.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30That's because some bird chucked a glass of red wine over me.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Where's the bottle, Alan?
0:10:31 > 0:10:33I haven't got a bottle.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Drunk it all have we? Is it in the bin?
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Shall I look in the bin, or have you dumped it somewhere else?
0:10:39 > 0:10:41You're really on one, aren't you?
0:10:41 > 0:10:44Funny is it? Well let's see if your son thinks it's funny.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47Do you ever stop to think what it must've been like for him
0:10:47 > 0:10:49to see his father like that?
0:10:49 > 0:10:52You scarred him, he's got to live with that for the rest of his life.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55I'm going to bed.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57If you want to stay here and rant, drop the latch when you leave.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59I'm your mate, Alan, I'm here for you.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03Don't make the mistake of thinking you're invincible now you've won the lottery,
0:11:03 > 0:11:04cos God knows you're not.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Go home to your wife, Colin!
0:12:01 > 0:12:06I missed our Kieran's 21st so I thought I might take him
0:12:06 > 0:12:09and Ellie to Thailand when they break up for their holidays.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13So when I got back from yours I went online and punched in Thai and all
0:12:13 > 0:12:18these amazing, shit-hot beautiful women popped up, you should see 'em.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Mind you don't get ripped off.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21What do you mean?
0:12:21 > 0:12:23I don't know, who are they?
0:12:23 > 0:12:24Don't know, don't care.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26What do they want?
0:12:26 > 0:12:27A man, someone to look after 'em.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30They are different from English girls, dead straightforward.
0:12:30 > 0:12:31They know what they want.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32Your money.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36No. Company that sets it all up want their cut, obviously.
0:12:36 > 0:12:37How much?
0:12:37 > 0:12:39A couple of grand... Five.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41- You're a mug.- Why?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43I'm sick of bein' on me own, you don't know what it's like.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45I've really struggled, you know.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48If I'm going to stay off the booze, I need to meet somebody fast.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50And now I've got the money, I want someone to share it with.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Buying yourself someone's not the answer.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Well, what is?
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Anyway I'm not buying her, they're just introducing me
0:12:56 > 0:12:58to some women, that's all.
0:12:58 > 0:12:59They saw you coming.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Anyway, I've already punched in me credit card details.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04And I'm talking to three of 'em tonight, and If I like any of 'em
0:13:04 > 0:13:07I'm going to take our Kieran and Ellie over there to meet her.
0:13:07 > 0:13:08Good luck.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Sorry. Sorry. Shit! I didn't know you were in there.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25It's OK, I've got it. Don't worry.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Oh, I'm sorry. Are you all right?
0:13:27 > 0:13:29- Yeah, OK.- Sorry.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Oh, ta.
0:13:32 > 0:13:33Have you been drinking?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35No.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Well, you smell as if you have.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38It's me new aftershave.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Oh yeah, what's it called - Smirnoff?
0:13:41 > 0:13:43No, it's called 14 million.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- What's in that bottle?- Water.
0:13:48 > 0:13:49- Give it here.- Stuff off.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51- No, if it's just water... - That's my bottle!
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Get off me. I'm going to report you to...
0:13:53 > 0:13:55- You are getting beyond a joke... - Get off my arm!
0:13:55 > 0:13:56What the hell's going on?
0:13:58 > 0:14:01It's Nurse Dolan's job to report any member of staff
0:14:01 > 0:14:03she feels is under the influence of alcohol.
0:14:03 > 0:14:04- For God's sake.- Thank you.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07She's been a complete bitch since we won the lottery
0:14:07 > 0:14:09and decided not to give her any of us winnings, ask Tom.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11I'd rather not get involved.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13You grabbed my wrist and wouldn't let go of it. That's assault!
0:14:13 > 0:14:16That's because you made a grab for my water bottle
0:14:16 > 0:14:18and I said you couldn't have it. That's theft!
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- Nurse Bedford witnessed the whole incident.- Not all of it.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23When I came out of the office, I saw Alan grab hold of her wrist.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25- And push me against the wall. - I didn't see that
0:14:25 > 0:14:28I was tryin' to stop you nickin' me water, you stupid cow.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30OK, can we all calm down.
0:14:30 > 0:14:31And where's that water now, Alan?
0:14:31 > 0:14:33I drank it and chucked bottle away.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35- That's very convenient. - I've heard enough.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37If he's got nothing to hide, maybe you could take a blood test?
0:14:37 > 0:14:39I'm not taking any bloody tests.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Could you write up a version of the incident for future reference?
0:14:42 > 0:14:44I've already done that.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50There'll be some kind of disciplinary meeting next week.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52OK, that's all for now, you can go.
0:14:52 > 0:14:53Cheers.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Not you, Alan.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02So, this is going to be your third written warning.
0:15:02 > 0:15:03How come?
0:15:03 > 0:15:06The body left outside the canteen on...
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Oh, shit, I were rushed off me feet, starving.
0:15:09 > 0:15:10I hadn't had chance to have lunch.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13I popped into canteen to get a bacon butty and I got an emergency
0:15:13 > 0:15:17call from A&E on me bleeper and I forgot, anyone could forget.
0:15:17 > 0:15:22No, Alan, only somebody that's pissed could forget a dead body.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24How many times do I have to tell you, I wasn't drinking, OK.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27I swear on me kid's life I was on the wagon.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Sunday the 14th, Nurse Dolan had to report you for drinking
0:15:29 > 0:15:32champagne on the premises during working hours.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35We all were, we'd won the friggin' lottery, we were celebrating.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37What are you going to do, sack us all!
0:15:37 > 0:15:41I'm sorry Alan, I'm going to have to suspend you... Only until...
0:15:41 > 0:15:43All right you know what? Sod it.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Sod the disciplinary, I'm out of here anyway.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47I'm off to Thailand in two weeks,
0:15:47 > 0:15:50I was only staying here long enough to get things sorted.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53There you go... Stick your 12 grand a year up your arse.
0:15:53 > 0:15:57# Sweet leaf of the north
0:15:57 > 0:16:00# You go back and forth
0:16:00 > 0:16:05# A little brown star
0:16:05 > 0:16:07# To guide us on our way
0:16:07 > 0:16:11# Sweet leaf of the north
0:16:11 > 0:16:13# Go back and forth... #
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Hey, there's a couple of hundred quid here, pal!
0:16:26 > 0:16:27Thanks for coming, love.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30No problem, everything all right?
0:16:30 > 0:16:32No. Not really.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Shittin' hell, what've you done?
0:16:36 > 0:16:40It's all right, he fell, he's not dead, he's sedated.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Jesus Christ, I thought...
0:16:42 > 0:16:43He broke his leg.
0:16:43 > 0:16:44So ring an ambulance.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47It's not as straightforward as that.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50I'd been giving him Diazilum and he'd been drinking.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52When you say you'd been giving him Diazilum...
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Putting in his beer. He didn't know he was havin' it.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56Right.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58The thing is he's got an impacted fracture
0:16:58 > 0:17:02and his leg needs a good yank to align the bone.
0:17:02 > 0:17:03I need someone strong.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Oh no, I'm no good at stuff like that.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Please, Alan.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Look, why don't we get him in the car now and drive him to A&E.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14And what if he says he went dizzy, and they check his blood
0:17:14 > 0:17:17and they'll find out he's packed full of sedatives.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19I need to set his leg here myself.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23I need some rolls of four-inch plaster bandage.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Hey... Everythin' all right, mate?
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Yeah, not bad...
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Just taking these down to A&E, they've run out.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39They accepted my offer on that house by the way.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40Two point four.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43And I have written up what happened, you should be all right.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45It don't matter, I'm leaving anyway.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Right.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50Go on then.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52I feel a bit sick.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Just yank it as hard as you can.
0:17:54 > 0:17:55What if he wakes up.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57He won't... Right, one,
0:17:57 > 0:17:59two...three!
0:17:59 > 0:18:00Aaaaaagh!
0:18:00 > 0:18:04That's for the crack you gave me the other day.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Bastard!
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Aaaaaaagh!
0:18:12 > 0:18:14DIALLING TONE
0:18:14 > 0:18:17My name is Sulim and I'm 28,
0:18:17 > 0:18:22and I live with my mother and father and two sisters.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25You don't look 28. You look about 19.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Thank you, Mr Alan.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30It's just Alan, you don't have to say Mr.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32It's just Alan to you.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Alan.
0:18:34 > 0:18:39I like how you say that. You make it sound nice.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Thank you, Alan.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44I'm sorry you can't see me,
0:18:44 > 0:18:48I think the camera on me computer must be on the blink.
0:18:48 > 0:18:49Sorry.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52DIALLING TONE
0:18:52 > 0:18:54'Hello. Can you see me?'
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Yes, I can see you.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Mr Alan, I cannot see you.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04Sorry about that, I've still not got it fixed.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09I'm going to get myself one of these fancy new laptops now I've won
0:19:09 > 0:19:13the lottery, and then you'll be able to see me.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16You are funny, Mr Alan.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20Maybe you have the camera turned off on your computer?
0:19:20 > 0:19:24Yeah, well, I wouldn't know, I'm not very good with technical stuff.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28When I come to Thailand, maybe you can show me what to do.
0:19:28 > 0:19:29(No... You know what, I think...)
0:19:29 > 0:19:31'Or I could come to England.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34'I've always wanted to go to England.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38'I would like to see Liverpool where the Beatles live
0:19:38 > 0:19:41'and London City, where the Queen lives
0:19:41 > 0:19:43'and the Houses of Parliament
0:19:43 > 0:19:48'and red buses and all the fashion.'
0:19:48 > 0:19:51I've been down to the travel agents today and they've got
0:19:51 > 0:19:55plenty of tickets, you can fly into Manchester or you can fly
0:19:55 > 0:20:01into Heathrow and then get another flight up here to Leeds Bradford.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02We'll have to get you a passport.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04Now, that could take anything up to a month.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06'I have passport.'
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Oh good, that's saved me a job.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12Now, have you any idea when you'd like to come?
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Saturday or Sunday.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18OK.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Me girlfriend's coming over from Thailand soon,
0:20:20 > 0:20:24she's 28, seriously gorgeous, so I really...
0:20:24 > 0:20:26I mean, she's younger than me obviously,
0:20:26 > 0:20:28I want a look a bit more modern.
0:20:28 > 0:20:33Her name's Sulim. She's gorgeous and, you know, she's never seen me yet...
0:20:33 > 0:20:34So, err... Aaaahhhh!
0:20:34 > 0:20:38Bloody hell! Do you have to rip it off like that?
0:20:42 > 0:20:44How's that for you, sir?
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Wow!
0:20:47 > 0:20:49It's quite a difference.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51That's £240 then, please.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55Bloody hell! It was only a fiver last time I went t'barbers.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57There you go. Keep the change.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Shit a brick!
0:21:04 > 0:21:06You didn't have to bother coming over, love.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09Don't be silly, I just wanted to make sure you were all right.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11- Sit yourself down.- Ta.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Hey, I'm sorry to hear you lost your job.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Oh, don't worry, I was going to quit anyway.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18More importantly, how are you?
0:21:18 > 0:21:19Terrible.
0:21:19 > 0:21:23I can hardly look me family in the face and I'm not sleeping.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25I'll drop a couple of doobies round if you like,
0:21:25 > 0:21:26they'll help you sleep.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31I miss our Friday nights.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35You're looking very smart.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Thank you.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41There was never any chance that we could...
0:21:41 > 0:21:44No. I know, it was never going to work.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46It was just something that happened, that's all.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Do you fancy a cup of tea, love?
0:21:51 > 0:21:53You haven't got anything stronger, have you?
0:21:53 > 0:21:55I know. I know. It's only a blip.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58I'll get myself straightened out, I promise.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07Hiya, it's me, Alan.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12I'm Alan, you must be Sulim.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14PHONE RINGS
0:22:17 > 0:22:18RINGING STOPS
0:22:18 > 0:22:20OK, let's do this.
0:22:31 > 0:22:32Oh, shit.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35Oh!
0:22:35 > 0:22:36TYRES SCREECH
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Aagh!
0:22:41 > 0:22:44- Bloody hell, I'm sorry, mate. - You stupid pillock!
0:22:44 > 0:22:47- I didn't see you. Are you all right? - You drove straight into me.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50You just came from nowhere. Are you sure you're all right?
0:22:50 > 0:22:51Oh, bollocks!
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Everybody all right?
0:22:53 > 0:22:56He's been here over an hour and he's still blowing red.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00I've screwed up, mate. Her flight got in 20 minutes ago.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03She'll be sat at the airport wondering where the bloody hell I am.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07I can't go yet, mate, there's only me and two agencies here.
0:23:07 > 0:23:11Mandy and Rose are both on sick and it's Becky's day off.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14Look, if you can get her to the hotel, there's a room booked
0:23:14 > 0:23:18under my name, I don't know what time I'll get there. I'll call you.
0:23:18 > 0:23:19Doctor's here.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22MUSIC PLAYS ON TANNOY
0:23:22 > 0:23:26# Kept me warmer
0:23:26 > 0:23:29# You gave my life to me
0:23:31 > 0:23:33# Set me free
0:23:33 > 0:23:37# Set me free... #
0:23:37 > 0:23:38Excuse me, are you Sulim?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Alan?
0:23:40 > 0:23:44No, I'm Tom a friend of his, pleased to meet you.
0:23:44 > 0:23:45Pleased to meet you.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47He asked me to pick you up and take you to the hotel.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49HE GRUNTS LIFTING HER HEAVY CASE
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Come on then.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53He'll meet you there, he won't be long.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Did you have a long flight?
0:23:55 > 0:23:57- Yes, it was. - I bet it were.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Cheers. Ta.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Is she all right?
0:24:03 > 0:24:06- ON PHONE:- Fine, she's in your room, the penthouse.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Yeah, well, I'm trying to make an impression, mate
0:24:09 > 0:24:12I mean, you've seen what she looks like.
0:24:12 > 0:24:16Something's got to go right for me tonight. Oh, hold that.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17There we go.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Yeah.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Er, yes?
0:24:34 > 0:24:36It's me. Er, Alan.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Oh, yes, please come in.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42I'm sorry I wasn't there to meet you.
0:24:42 > 0:24:46It's OK, Tom explained. Is everything all right?
0:24:46 > 0:24:49It is now that I'm here... And you're here.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54I bet you thought, "Great start!"
0:24:54 > 0:24:57No, I thought you would be upset not to be there.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59I was.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04Tom was very kind, very helpful.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08This is a beautiful room.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12Well, I didn't want to take you back to my shithole.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14I'm thinking of buying another place,
0:25:14 > 0:25:17somewhere a bit more upmarket.
0:25:17 > 0:25:22No, I thought I'd show you a bit of England while you're here
0:25:22 > 0:25:25and we'd stay in some nice hotels.
0:25:25 > 0:25:30God, you're even more beautiful in the flesh.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32You like?
0:25:32 > 0:25:35I do, you're bloody lovely, you're way out of my league.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Sorry?
0:25:37 > 0:25:40You're gorgeous. I like what I see.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Thank you.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46So shall we crack open the bar?
0:25:48 > 0:25:53Drinks, drinks... Now, we've got white fizz, pink fizz, wines,
0:25:53 > 0:25:55spirits, what do you fancy?
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Do you have juice? Fruit juice?
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Yes... Yes, indeed.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01I like fruit juice.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Yes, it's very good for you.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05And you?
0:26:05 > 0:26:07I am going to stick with the, er, the vodka.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11So how come you look like that
0:26:11 > 0:26:15and you haven't got a husband or a boyfriend?
0:26:15 > 0:26:18I prefer English man.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Right, well, I tick that box.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26How long've you been on that dating site?
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Oh, it isn't a dating site.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31It's a proper agency for you to find a wife.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Oh, no, yes, no, no. I know that's the general idea,
0:26:34 > 0:26:38but it's just everything's happened so quickly.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41We need to know if we're right for each other.
0:26:41 > 0:26:45Of course, that's why I come here, so not to waste your time.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48Well, I'm glad you did.
0:26:48 > 0:26:49Cheers.
0:26:49 > 0:26:50Cheers.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00So how do you like how I look?
0:27:00 > 0:27:02You have a kind face.
0:27:02 > 0:27:03Great.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05And you're very handsome.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Ah, well, now you're lying.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10I used to be, I could have me pick of whoever I wanted,
0:27:10 > 0:27:15but I don't know what happened.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18- I ordered some chocolates and flowers...- Yes.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21And... Ha-ha, this is for you.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Here you go.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Oh, thank you
0:27:25 > 0:27:26Open it.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30I didn't know what size you were, so I got small,
0:27:30 > 0:27:33but I've kept the receipt in case it doesn't fit.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Oh.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Oh.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42- It's beautiful. - Ah.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45So, er... Do I get a kiss?
0:28:01 > 0:28:03- SHE SHOUTS - No, it's too soon!
0:28:03 > 0:28:05I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
0:28:05 > 0:28:08- We have to get to know each other first. - I know, I know, I know!
0:28:08 > 0:28:10I'm not a bargirl or a prostitute who fucks for money.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12No, I didn't...
0:28:12 > 0:28:14I am a special woman.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16I know, I know. It's just you're so...
0:28:16 > 0:28:17You insult me.
0:28:17 > 0:28:18I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21Listen, you call the shots in this department, OK?
0:28:21 > 0:28:24Whenever you're ready, just let me know. OK? OK?
0:28:26 > 0:28:27Thank you.
0:28:31 > 0:28:36Do you want to go down for dinner or we could just stay in the room
0:28:36 > 0:28:38and get to know each other?
0:28:38 > 0:28:41We don't have to go to the do, Becky won't mind,
0:28:41 > 0:28:43I've given her something towards the table.
0:28:43 > 0:28:44I would like to go for dinner.
0:28:46 > 0:28:49We have a long time to get to know each other
0:28:49 > 0:28:51and I would like to meet your friends.
0:28:53 > 0:28:56OK, right, I'll get ready then and maybe afterwards
0:28:56 > 0:29:01we could come back to the room and have a chat, you know chill out.
0:29:02 > 0:29:04We will not make love tonight, Alan.
0:29:06 > 0:29:10OK. Right, well, that's put the kibosh on that.
0:29:10 > 0:29:11I'll just go and put my suit on.
0:29:13 > 0:29:16We're looking for somewhere for the dance academy.
0:29:16 > 0:29:19Me mam wants to buy somewhere, so we don't have to rent.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22Bloody hell, Alan, I hardly recognised you!
0:29:22 > 0:29:26Cheers. Sorry we're a bit late, this is Sulim, everybody.
0:29:26 > 0:29:28- Pleased to meet you. - Hello.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30We've already met.
0:29:30 > 0:29:31Nice to meet you.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33There we go. How's your mam?
0:29:33 > 0:29:35All right, I think. Yeah.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39So are you a friend of Alan's?
0:29:39 > 0:29:41Yes.
0:29:41 > 0:29:43We've known each other a while, we've been chatting online.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46And I gather Tom picked you up from the airport?
0:29:46 > 0:29:47Yes.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49This lad drove his bike straight into me car.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51I had to wait for police.
0:29:51 > 0:29:53So how long are you here for, Sulim?
0:29:53 > 0:29:56- We don't really know. - I'm not sure.
0:29:56 > 0:29:59It depends if Alan thinks I will make him a suitable wife.
0:30:02 > 0:30:06She's joking, it's not up to me.
0:30:16 > 0:30:17Ta.
0:30:17 > 0:30:18I tell you what.
0:30:18 > 0:30:23Me back's killing me from that sofa. I haven't slept a wink all night.
0:30:23 > 0:30:24I'm sorry.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26No, it's my fault.
0:30:26 > 0:30:31I should have checked you were prepared to share a bed before I booked it.
0:30:31 > 0:30:33There we go.
0:30:35 > 0:30:39Right, off we go.
0:30:41 > 0:30:43Have you been to London many times?
0:30:43 > 0:30:46Oh, aye. Well, once, when the kids were little.
0:30:46 > 0:30:49We took them to see the Lion King.
0:30:49 > 0:30:51Have you ever heard of the Lion King?
0:30:51 > 0:30:53- Yes.- Yes.
0:30:53 > 0:30:57CHANTS TRIBALLY
0:30:57 > 0:30:59# Hakuna Matata
0:30:59 > 0:31:01# All the rest of my days. #
0:31:01 > 0:31:02SHE GIGGLES
0:31:04 > 0:31:07I booked us a suite at the Ritz.
0:31:07 > 0:31:11It cost me an arm and a leg, but I think you're worth it.
0:31:11 > 0:31:14I can change it for two singles if you like?
0:31:14 > 0:31:15What do you think?
0:31:15 > 0:31:17Erm...
0:31:17 > 0:31:19Can I decide later?
0:31:19 > 0:31:22Yes, of course you can. I don't think they're booked up.
0:31:22 > 0:31:25I'm supposed to be meeting someone at 6.30pm,
0:31:25 > 0:31:29so we can go for something to eat or a drink first if you like.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32Oh! You should have a watch like that.
0:31:32 > 0:31:33What's good about it?
0:31:33 > 0:31:38It's so beautiful and elegant. You can try it.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41Let's do that when we come back.
0:31:41 > 0:31:42Let's get a drink first, shall we?
0:31:42 > 0:31:44Come, come.
0:31:44 > 0:31:47The watch is from our bespoke collection
0:31:47 > 0:31:50designed exclusively by Monsieur Gerald Genta
0:31:50 > 0:31:52for Ritz fine jewellery.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55Would you like to try it on?
0:31:55 > 0:31:58Oh, it's very beautiful, but I meant the one for the man, for Alan.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed that it was...
0:32:01 > 0:32:02Try it on.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04Oh, no. It's OK.
0:32:04 > 0:32:05Yes, try it on.
0:32:10 > 0:32:11Oh.
0:32:15 > 0:32:19Let me do that, the clasps are always a bit tricky when it's new.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21Thank you.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23So, how much do these sell for?
0:32:23 > 0:32:27The collection ranges from £17,000 up to £100,000.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30Depending on if you want it with or without diamonds.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32As you can see this one is with diamonds.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40And you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen,
0:32:40 > 0:32:42so we're going to have to have it.
0:32:42 > 0:32:47Oh! No, Alan, I couldn't take it. Not for anything in the world.
0:32:47 > 0:32:49Absolutely not.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51She'll keep it on.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53That's two years' wages.
0:32:53 > 0:32:54Please, we can take it back.
0:32:54 > 0:32:56No, I'm not saying it to make you feel bad.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58It's just a fact of life, that's all.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00- Here we go. Thank you very much. - Thank you.
0:33:00 > 0:33:01You're very welcome.
0:33:01 > 0:33:05So I thought we'd stay down here for a few days and see the sights
0:33:05 > 0:33:07and then we'd go up to Liverpool.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09Oh, where the Beatles live.
0:33:09 > 0:33:10Well, they don't live there now,
0:33:10 > 0:33:12but I can show you where they played and stuff
0:33:12 > 0:33:16and then I'll have to head back to Bradford for my court hearing.
0:33:16 > 0:33:19Buckingham Palace. That's where the Queen lives.
0:33:19 > 0:33:20That's right, yeah.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22Sometimes you see the Queen?
0:33:22 > 0:33:25You can see her sometimes. They come and wave on the balcony.
0:33:25 > 0:33:27Oh, it's Parliament House.
0:33:27 > 0:33:28That's right.
0:33:28 > 0:33:30- Oh, Big Ben.- Big Ben.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35What are you thinking?
0:33:35 > 0:33:37I'm just thinking about my lad.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39After we took him to see the Lion King,
0:33:39 > 0:33:41we went on a boat trip down the Thames.
0:33:41 > 0:33:42Kieran loved that.
0:33:45 > 0:33:47That's a beautiful memory.
0:33:47 > 0:33:48Yeah.
0:34:00 > 0:34:02- Thank you. - You're welcome.
0:34:02 > 0:34:03Cheers.
0:34:03 > 0:34:05So we just call you when we're ready to go, do we?
0:34:05 > 0:34:07Of course, sir.
0:34:07 > 0:34:09Thanks very much.
0:34:09 > 0:34:12Nice car that, I might get myself one.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15That was fun, I really enjoy it.
0:34:15 > 0:34:17Oh. Hey, look at that, a bar on a boat.
0:34:17 > 0:34:19You don't get those in Bradford.
0:34:19 > 0:34:21Where I live, there are many boats.
0:34:21 > 0:34:23Ah, it must be the posh end then.
0:34:23 > 0:34:29No! We live above a shop, it's very small and we pay a lot of rent.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32Who pays that then, you mam and dad?
0:34:32 > 0:34:34No, me and my friend.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36But I thought you lived with your family?
0:34:38 > 0:34:44The agency, they tell us to say that to the men.
0:34:44 > 0:34:47Oh, right. Is there anything else I need to know?
0:34:47 > 0:34:49You not married with three kids, are you?
0:34:49 > 0:34:51No. I'm sorry, Alan.
0:34:54 > 0:34:57It's all right. If the agency told you to say it.
0:34:59 > 0:35:00Hey, look at that beauty.
0:35:01 > 0:35:07It's for sale as well and look what it's called - The Winner.
0:35:07 > 0:35:09And you're a winner.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11I know I am.
0:35:11 > 0:35:14Do you know what, I don't care about your life back in Thailand,
0:35:14 > 0:35:17you're here now, with me, that's all that matters.
0:35:19 > 0:35:21I'm going to ring that number.
0:35:35 > 0:35:391.8, but I reckon they'd take a million cash.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41We could sail it round the world.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43Would you like to take the wheel, Mr Walters?
0:35:43 > 0:35:45Oh, er... I'll give it a go.
0:35:45 > 0:35:47I'll just get you a refill from the bar.
0:35:47 > 0:35:49- She's got a bar? - There's not much she doesn't have.
0:35:49 > 0:35:52Music to my ears, mate, music to my ears.
0:35:52 > 0:35:54No ice, just a splash of tonic, please.
0:35:54 > 0:35:56If you just make your way to the helm.
0:35:56 > 0:35:58Are you OK?
0:35:58 > 0:36:00Yeah, just need to get me sea legs.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02Just keep going straight, sir.
0:36:02 > 0:36:04Okey dokey, I'm sure I can do that.
0:36:04 > 0:36:08Come on, Sulim, we can do this together.
0:36:08 > 0:36:09Ah!
0:36:11 > 0:36:14Feel how windy it is.
0:36:14 > 0:36:15- It's fun.- OK.
0:36:17 > 0:36:19I'll just leave it in here for you.
0:36:19 > 0:36:22Cheers. Lovely jubbly. Hey, I'm a natural.
0:36:22 > 0:36:24Do you think he'd take a million for her?
0:36:24 > 0:36:28He's already reduced it to 1.5 and it's a top of the range Sunseeker.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31But you could have a go though, couldn't you?
0:36:31 > 0:36:33I'm talking cash, I don't need to get finance.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37Would you like to look at the living accommodation?
0:36:37 > 0:36:38As soon as possible.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43Be careful, the steps can be slippy from the spray.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45Is this the way to the bar?
0:36:47 > 0:36:49Can you moor her up please, captain?
0:36:49 > 0:36:50Right you are.
0:36:53 > 0:36:57So, this is the saloon area with the bar and the lower helm.
0:36:57 > 0:36:58It's incredible.
0:36:59 > 0:37:01How many bedrooms has it got?
0:37:01 > 0:37:03It's a six-berth boat.
0:37:03 > 0:37:07This is the VIP suite with it's own VIP bathroom.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10This will be yours, angel face.
0:37:10 > 0:37:13And this is the master suite.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15My pad.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18We're still getting to know each other.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21Is there anything else you'd like to see?
0:37:21 > 0:37:22This glass full again.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27So if I were to phone my bank and arrange to have the money
0:37:27 > 0:37:30sent to your account, could me and Sulim spend the night here?
0:37:30 > 0:37:33It would be your yacht, Mr Walters, you can do whatever you like.
0:37:33 > 0:37:35Right, let's see if he'll accept 1.3.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39Did you see his face when the money went through?
0:37:39 > 0:37:41He was shocked.
0:37:41 > 0:37:45Yeah, he thought I was bullshitting, thought I didn't have the dosh.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47Right, so as soon as the court hearing's over,
0:37:47 > 0:37:50we'll come straight back here with all us stuff, right?
0:37:50 > 0:37:52And live on the yacht?
0:37:52 > 0:37:55Yeah. Yeah, till we get sick of it.
0:37:55 > 0:37:57What's the matter, don't you like the idea?
0:37:57 > 0:38:00We can have a house as well.
0:38:01 > 0:38:02Is it kids?
0:38:02 > 0:38:06Now, I know we haven't talked about it and I know I'm a bit older than you,
0:38:06 > 0:38:07but I've thought about it
0:38:07 > 0:38:10- and if it's something that you really want...- No, it's not.
0:38:10 > 0:38:13Oh good, because I didn't fancy changing nappies
0:38:13 > 0:38:15and getting up in the middle of the night again.
0:38:20 > 0:38:26- So I'll get us luggage sent over and cancel that suite, right?- OK.
0:38:26 > 0:38:31Ah, there he is. Ah, now then, son.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33Thanks for meeting me.
0:38:33 > 0:38:36- How you doing? - Yeah, not bad.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38This is Kieran. Kieran, this is my girlfriend Sulim.
0:38:38 > 0:38:40- Hello. - Pleased to meet you.
0:38:40 > 0:38:43She's from Thailand. Have you got a drink?
0:38:43 > 0:38:44Yeah, I'm fine.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46What you having, Sulim, a fruit juice?
0:38:46 > 0:38:48Just water, please.
0:38:48 > 0:38:49Cheap round.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52Show him your new watch, have a look at this it's a one-off.
0:38:52 > 0:38:55I didn't want him to buy it, but he did it anyway.
0:38:55 > 0:38:58Right. So how long've you known me dad?
0:38:58 > 0:39:00We met on the internet.
0:39:00 > 0:39:04- And he told you he'd won the lottery then, did he?- Yes.
0:39:04 > 0:39:08Hello, is that The Ritz? Yeah, I need to cancel a room.
0:39:08 > 0:39:12And so you decided to jump on a plane and fly straight over here.
0:39:12 > 0:39:13Funny that.
0:39:13 > 0:39:15No.
0:39:15 > 0:39:19Alan wanted to come to Thailand, but I wanted to come here first,
0:39:19 > 0:39:20make sure he likes me.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22Course he's going to like you, look at you.
0:39:23 > 0:39:26Here we go.
0:39:26 > 0:39:30There you go, my darling. What do you think of that watch?
0:39:30 > 0:39:31Nice, in't it?
0:39:31 > 0:39:33Yeah, it's great.
0:39:33 > 0:39:36So, you're looking well, better than last time I saw you.
0:39:36 > 0:39:38Yeah, well there was a reason for that.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41You back on the booze then?
0:39:41 > 0:39:45Just a little relapse to get over the shock of winning £14 million quid.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49I can handle it, though, I'm not the way I used to be.
0:39:49 > 0:39:52This is mostly tonic, plus there's lime in there,
0:39:52 > 0:39:53so it's one of me five a day!
0:39:54 > 0:39:56You're an alcoholic, Dad.
0:39:56 > 0:39:59All right, well I'm going to pack it in after next week.
0:39:59 > 0:40:01Sulim's going to help me, aren't you, darling?
0:40:01 > 0:40:05Your son, he no like me.
0:40:05 > 0:40:07Don't be daft, no.
0:40:07 > 0:40:08He doesn't even know you.
0:40:08 > 0:40:13It's me he doesn't like, in't that right, Kieran?
0:40:13 > 0:40:16I put him through shit when he was a kid, that's why I wanted
0:40:16 > 0:40:19to meet him, to say how sorry I am for screwing up his life.
0:40:19 > 0:40:23Yeah, well, I got myself straightened out,
0:40:23 > 0:40:26I haven't touched a thing since I went back to college.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31You don't know, do you?
0:40:31 > 0:40:32Know what?
0:40:33 > 0:40:35I was on heroin.
0:40:37 > 0:40:41Shit, no. No, I didn't know.
0:40:43 > 0:40:45I'm sorry...
0:40:48 > 0:40:55Hey, guess what - I've just bought myself a yacht.
0:40:59 > 0:41:01What's up with you? Kieran?
0:41:01 > 0:41:03Go after him.
0:41:03 > 0:41:04Alan!
0:41:08 > 0:41:10- Kieran! Kieran! - What?
0:41:10 > 0:41:12I tell you I was a heroin addict and all you want to tell me
0:41:12 > 0:41:14is what you've bought!
0:41:14 > 0:41:16I don't give a shit about what you've bought!
0:41:16 > 0:41:18- I don't care about what you've bought.- I'm sorry.
0:41:18 > 0:41:21You can't just come waltzing back into my life with some Thai chick
0:41:21 > 0:41:23you've picked up off the internet and expect everything to be fine.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25I shouldn't have brought her, I'm sorry.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28Stop saying you're sorry and listen to me, Dad!
0:41:28 > 0:41:30I am listening. Tell me what to do and I'll do it.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33- What can I do to make things better between us? - Pack in the booze in for a start.
0:41:33 > 0:41:37- I'll definitely do that. - Try and spend some time on your own with me and not tag me
0:41:37 > 0:41:40on the end of your yacht-buying spree to impress your new girlfriend.
0:41:40 > 0:41:42I didn't come down here to buy a yacht, I came to see you.
0:41:42 > 0:41:44Yeah, yeah, sure. Like I'm that important to you.
0:41:44 > 0:41:46Yeah. You are.
0:41:46 > 0:41:48Look, I promise it'll change.
0:41:48 > 0:41:51I promise the next time you see me I'll be back on the wagon,
0:41:51 > 0:41:54otherwise I'm going to end up falling overboard, aren't I?
0:41:54 > 0:41:56It's not funny, Dad, it's not funny, it's sick.
0:41:58 > 0:42:01And it makes me really sad to see you like this all over again.
0:42:01 > 0:42:02I'm not pissed, I'm just a bit merry,
0:42:02 > 0:42:04I've won the lottery for Christ's sake!
0:42:04 > 0:42:06Ring me when you're back off the booze.
0:42:06 > 0:42:08All right, but listen... Wait. Wait.
0:42:08 > 0:42:10I've got you something.
0:42:10 > 0:42:11What is it?
0:42:11 > 0:42:14It's a watch. I missed your birthday.
0:42:14 > 0:42:16You'll never be skint while you've got that on you wrist.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18I've paid your university fees.
0:42:18 > 0:42:21And there's a few bob in there to see you through.
0:42:24 > 0:42:25I don't want your money.
0:42:25 > 0:42:27Take it, what's the point of having it
0:42:27 > 0:42:30if you can't make your kids' lives better?
0:42:32 > 0:42:35- Don't let her fleece you, Dad. - Sulim?
0:42:35 > 0:42:37No, no, no, she's kosher, she just wants me to be happy.
0:42:37 > 0:42:39I bought the watch for you.
0:42:39 > 0:42:41I've got a watch.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43Don't be like that, Kieran. Come here.
0:42:43 > 0:42:46I love you, son, and I meant it
0:42:46 > 0:42:49when I said about being sorry for everything I've put you through.
0:42:49 > 0:42:51I was lost, I didn't know what I was doing.
0:42:51 > 0:42:55Look, I know I make a joke sometimes, but that's just my way.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57Yeah?
0:42:57 > 0:43:01Jesus, it kills me when I think about what I did to you.
0:43:01 > 0:43:05But you're still doing it though, Dad! You're still doing it. Yeah?
0:43:10 > 0:43:11I'll see you.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13Take the money and the watch, please.
0:43:13 > 0:43:15When you're sober.
0:43:15 > 0:43:19All right. We'll spend proper time together, me and you, yeah?
0:43:19 > 0:43:24We'll go sailing? You'll always be my lad!
0:43:24 > 0:43:26I'll ring you!
0:43:41 > 0:43:44Do you know what I've decided, after I finish this bottle,
0:43:44 > 0:43:46I'm packing in the booze.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49And you're going to help me because there's meetings for people like you.
0:43:49 > 0:43:51What kind of meetings?
0:43:51 > 0:43:53For friends and family of people like me,
0:43:53 > 0:43:55people that like booze a bit too much.
0:43:57 > 0:44:05Alan, I think you like booze because you have nothing else in your life.
0:44:05 > 0:44:09Do you know what, you have hit the nail right on the head.
0:44:09 > 0:44:13Not only are you bloody beautiful, you're bloody clever as well.
0:44:13 > 0:44:17- And now I've got you, I don't need this.- Yay!
0:44:17 > 0:44:20Oh, shit! What did I do that for?
0:44:20 > 0:44:22Don't worry, I'm here for you.
0:44:28 > 0:44:31Do you think we could get to know each other a bit better?
0:44:33 > 0:44:34Hmm?
0:44:36 > 0:44:39Oh! Hey bed's comfy!
0:44:40 > 0:44:43Oh, I didn't buy any...
0:44:46 > 0:44:48I haven't got anything with me, Sulim.
0:44:53 > 0:44:54You don't need anything.
0:44:56 > 0:44:58Tell me I've died and gone to heaven.
0:45:00 > 0:45:02You find me attractive?
0:45:03 > 0:45:05Come here and I'll show you.
0:45:20 > 0:45:21You're perfect.
0:45:49 > 0:45:54POLICE SIRENS WAIL IN BACKGROUND
0:45:56 > 0:45:59Alan, I'm sorry.
0:45:59 > 0:46:01Don't worry. It's fine, it's my fault I should have asked.
0:46:01 > 0:46:05I'll grab a cab, you can stay here, I'll sort something out.
0:46:05 > 0:46:06Alan, I am a woman.
0:46:06 > 0:46:08Yeah, I'm sure you think you are.
0:46:08 > 0:46:10I can have the operation.
0:46:10 > 0:46:14Oh, look, it's not just a question of chopping your dick off, it's...
0:46:14 > 0:46:18Look, I really like you as a person, Sulim,
0:46:18 > 0:46:21and you're lovely looking, you could've fooled anybody.
0:46:21 > 0:46:22I wasn't trying to fool you.
0:46:22 > 0:46:24Well, you could have been straight with me,
0:46:24 > 0:46:26like, said something before you jumped on the plane!
0:46:26 > 0:46:28You're angry with me.
0:46:28 > 0:46:31- Yeah, I am a bit because I feel like a bloody idiot.- Why?
0:46:31 > 0:46:32Because I fell for you
0:46:32 > 0:46:36and all you wanted was some rich mug to pay for your operation.
0:46:36 > 0:46:37No, that's not true.
0:46:37 > 0:46:39You know what, let's just leave it. Leave it.
0:46:39 > 0:46:42I don't want to mess you about and I know you think I'm a shit
0:46:42 > 0:46:45and I am, but I've got enough problems of my own.
0:46:45 > 0:46:47I'd never be able to go there.
0:46:47 > 0:46:50Whatever you did, whether you have it chopped off,
0:46:50 > 0:46:54turned inside out, upside down, I'd always know what you really are.
0:46:54 > 0:46:56What I saw with my own eyes.
0:46:56 > 0:46:59Jesus Christ, you're bigger than me!
0:46:59 > 0:47:02I am a woman born into a man's body.
0:47:02 > 0:47:04Yeah, you know what?
0:47:04 > 0:47:07I've heard all that before, I saw a programme on the telly once.
0:47:07 > 0:47:10I wouldn't be able to get beyond it, Sulim, I'm sorry.
0:47:10 > 0:47:12I'm just telling the truth, right?
0:47:12 > 0:47:14There you go.
0:47:14 > 0:47:15There's a few grand in there,
0:47:15 > 0:47:18that should pay for your operation - you can keep the watch.
0:47:18 > 0:47:20Please!
0:47:20 > 0:47:23I'll let you know when I've sorted out your flight back.
0:47:25 > 0:47:27SHE SOBS
0:47:38 > 0:47:40- Bradford please, mate. TAXI DRIVER:- Bradford-upon-Avon?
0:47:40 > 0:47:42No, Bradford-upon-Yorkshire.
0:47:42 > 0:47:45And can we stop at the first off-licence we see? Cheers, bud.
0:47:45 > 0:47:48HE GROANS
0:47:57 > 0:47:59KNOCKING
0:47:59 > 0:48:00Mandy!
0:48:07 > 0:48:09BANGING CONTINUES
0:48:15 > 0:48:16Hiya, love.
0:48:16 > 0:48:19I've been knocking on t'front door, I've got to talk to someone,
0:48:19 > 0:48:21otherwise I'm going to go off me head.
0:48:21 > 0:48:23I met this woman on t'internet...
0:48:23 > 0:48:27I'm sorry, love, our Becky's just come home and found me downstairs with her dad.
0:48:27 > 0:48:28He's not still in the cellar, is he?
0:48:28 > 0:48:31Yeah, but I'm leaving him tomorrow so...
0:48:31 > 0:48:34Dad! What are you doing? Dad! Dad, don't!
0:48:34 > 0:48:36I'm going to kill you, you bitch!
0:48:36 > 0:48:39Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing, man?!
0:48:39 > 0:48:43- Get off her! Get off her! - Get off her, stop it!
0:48:43 > 0:48:46Get off her, right.
0:48:46 > 0:48:48Think you're clever, do you?
0:48:48 > 0:48:49Alan, do something!
0:48:49 > 0:48:52- Jesus Christ! - I'm going to kill you.
0:48:52 > 0:48:54Alan, do something!
0:48:54 > 0:48:56HE SHOUTS IN PAIN
0:49:00 > 0:49:01Are you OK, Mam?
0:49:01 > 0:49:04Mandy, are you all right? Get her a glass of water.
0:49:04 > 0:49:06SHE GASPS AND SPLUTTERS
0:49:06 > 0:49:10Ambulance. 4 Ingram Road, quick as you can.
0:49:11 > 0:49:13SIRENS STUTTER
0:49:36 > 0:49:39HE SIGHS HEAVILY
0:49:42 > 0:49:45'Hi, it's me again, Colin. Look, I'm sorry about coming on
0:49:45 > 0:49:47'all heavy with you, I just want to make sure...'
0:49:47 > 0:49:49MACHINE BEEPS
0:49:49 > 0:49:53'Hi, Alan. It's Rose, I'm just wondering if you're all right.
0:49:53 > 0:49:57'Mandy rang from the hospital and told me what happened.
0:49:57 > 0:49:59'Oh, God, she's in a right old state.
0:49:59 > 0:50:02'Anyway, will you ring me when you get this message?'
0:50:31 > 0:50:36MUSIC: "Wild World" by Cat Stevens
0:50:44 > 0:50:48# Now that I've lost everything to you
0:50:48 > 0:50:51# You say you wanna start something new
0:50:51 > 0:50:55# And it's breaking my heart you're leaving
0:50:55 > 0:50:57# Baby, I'm grieving
0:50:57 > 0:51:01# But if you wanna leave take good care
0:51:01 > 0:51:04# I hope you have a lot of nice things to wear...#
0:51:07 > 0:51:09I just can't get me head around you drugging me dad.
0:51:09 > 0:51:11Just the odd Diazilum.
0:51:13 > 0:51:15I wouldn't have had to if he'd let me leave.
0:51:15 > 0:51:16What were you thinking, Mam?
0:51:16 > 0:51:18You're going to be in such big trouble.
0:51:18 > 0:51:20And Dad's going to tell 'em what happened.
0:51:20 > 0:51:23He hasn't done so far, he's just gone along with what I said.
0:51:27 > 0:51:29What were Alan doing at our house anyway?
0:51:29 > 0:51:34I don't know, he was upset about some woman he met on the internet.
0:51:34 > 0:51:37# Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
0:51:39 > 0:51:44# And I'll always remember you like a child, girl...#
0:51:47 > 0:51:48FLAMES CRACKLE
0:51:54 > 0:51:57So these bloods are going to tell a sorry tale.
0:51:57 > 0:51:59Diazilum, Seredone, Rivotril.
0:52:00 > 0:52:02It's up to you what I do with them.
0:52:03 > 0:52:05How much this time?
0:52:35 > 0:52:38DOORBELL RINGS A JOLLY TUNE
0:52:38 > 0:52:42Alan! Alan!
0:52:42 > 0:52:44Alan, open the door, Alan!
0:52:44 > 0:52:47Alan, it's... Oh, God, you gave me a fright!
0:52:47 > 0:52:50Sorry, love, I heard you shouting. I'm Colin, I'm a mate of his.
0:52:50 > 0:52:53I've just been round t'back to see if there's a window open.
0:52:53 > 0:52:55Right. I'm Rose, I work with him.
0:52:55 > 0:52:56Yeah, I met you at Odsal.
0:52:56 > 0:52:57Yeah, that's right.
0:52:57 > 0:53:00- I've been ringing him. - Yeah. So have I.
0:53:00 > 0:53:02His car's here.
0:53:02 > 0:53:06I know. Do you think he's all right? I think I smelt smoke before?
0:53:06 > 0:53:07I'm not sure, can you smell it?
0:53:07 > 0:53:09- You stay here, I'll go round back again.- All right.
0:53:12 > 0:53:18Alan! Open the door! Alan!
0:53:18 > 0:53:22HE KICKS THE DOOR IN
0:53:22 > 0:53:27Alan! Alan, Open the door!
0:53:32 > 0:53:34There's something on fire.
0:53:34 > 0:53:37He's in the loft! I know it. I know it.
0:53:37 > 0:53:39He's in the loft. Alan!
0:53:39 > 0:53:41SHE COUGHS
0:53:41 > 0:53:42Alan!
0:53:42 > 0:53:45THEY COUGH AND CHOKE
0:53:45 > 0:53:47Colin, come on, he's up here.
0:53:47 > 0:53:53COUGHING AND CHOKING
0:53:53 > 0:53:56Oh, God, Alan!
0:53:56 > 0:54:00I've found him! Colin, he's here.
0:54:05 > 0:54:08- Alan! - I'm right behind you.
0:54:08 > 0:54:09Alan!
0:54:09 > 0:54:11COUGHING
0:54:11 > 0:54:16Come on, Alan, come on! Alan! Alan, come on.
0:54:16 > 0:54:20Alan, come on! Alan!
0:54:20 > 0:54:25SHE CHOKES
0:54:30 > 0:54:31I've got him.
0:54:34 > 0:54:36Have you got him, Colin?
0:54:36 > 0:54:38- Yes, come on, mate. - Come on, Alan.
0:54:41 > 0:54:44He's coming round, he's coming round.
0:54:44 > 0:54:47Have you got him? Careful.
0:54:47 > 0:54:50ALL COUGH AND SPLUTTER
0:54:50 > 0:54:55Come on, mate, I've got you, nearly there, nearly there.
0:54:57 > 0:54:58Come on, love!
0:54:58 > 0:55:00No, get Alan out. I can manage.
0:55:00 > 0:55:02Get him out.
0:55:02 > 0:55:05No. Come on swing yourself round. I've got you.
0:55:05 > 0:55:08Give me your foot. Give me your foot.
0:55:12 > 0:55:15Come on, love.
0:55:15 > 0:55:16HE COUGHS AND CHOKES
0:55:18 > 0:55:22Come on, mate. Come on, mate!
0:55:23 > 0:55:25Lean, lean.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28It's all right, Alan, we've got you. We've got you.
0:55:33 > 0:55:35Take some deep breaths.
0:55:35 > 0:55:36How are you feeling, love?
0:55:36 > 0:55:39Bit of a pain in me chest and a thumping headache,
0:55:39 > 0:55:43but I'm still alive, thanks to you two.
0:55:43 > 0:55:46I knew there was something wrong when you didn't ring me back, not like you.
0:55:46 > 0:55:50Oh, he never rings me back, I just don't give up.
0:55:50 > 0:55:52I'm sorry I didn't ring either of you back.
0:55:53 > 0:55:55I'm back on the booze, Colin.
0:55:55 > 0:55:58I know you are, mate, but we'll get you sorted.
0:55:58 > 0:56:01In fact, I feel a bit light-headed myself.
0:56:01 > 0:56:03- That's 'cos you're stoned. - What?
0:56:03 > 0:56:06In fact, half of the estate is.
0:56:06 > 0:56:10HE LAUGHS
0:56:13 > 0:56:14Thanks, Rose.
0:56:15 > 0:56:18You don't have to thank me.
0:56:18 > 0:56:20You were there for me when I needed you.
0:56:21 > 0:56:24So who's this Thai woman then?
0:56:26 > 0:56:29Oh, her.
0:56:29 > 0:56:30Who told you?
0:56:30 > 0:56:32Our Bethany.
0:56:32 > 0:56:35You took her to Bradford Bulls do.
0:56:35 > 0:56:37To tell you truth, it's all a bit of a mess.
0:56:37 > 0:56:39I'll have to sort it.
0:56:39 > 0:56:41I think I just panicked.
0:56:41 > 0:56:45After I got sacked I thought, "What am I going to do with me life?"
0:56:47 > 0:56:52I know it's weird, but before, when I had no money,
0:56:52 > 0:56:56all I had to worry about was getting laid and paying the bills.
0:56:56 > 0:57:00Now I've got money, all I worry about is being on me own and dying.
0:57:01 > 0:57:03You're not going to be on your own.
0:57:03 > 0:57:05People love you, Alan.
0:57:06 > 0:57:09Colin and me were there for you cos we care about you.
0:57:11 > 0:57:13- Do you? - Course we do.
0:57:17 > 0:57:18I get things wrong sometimes.
0:57:20 > 0:57:21We all do.
0:57:27 > 0:57:30Listen, you can stay at mine tonight if you like.
0:57:30 > 0:57:34Just till you get yourself sorted. I've got a blow-up mattress.
0:57:34 > 0:57:36Can I ask you something?
0:57:36 > 0:57:38Course you can.
0:57:38 > 0:57:40Do you want me to stay at yours?
0:57:43 > 0:57:45Yes, I do.
0:58:14 > 0:58:16DC Turner and PC Philips. We have a search warrant.
0:58:16 > 0:58:19You're a nurse, people put their wellbeing in your hands.
0:58:19 > 0:58:21- Are you two..? - No!- Yeah.
0:58:21 > 0:58:23Why do you always do it? You ruin everything!
0:58:23 > 0:58:26I hope I haven't dropped Mandy in it.
0:58:26 > 0:58:28We've been given a chance of a new life now we've won the lottery.
0:58:38 > 0:58:40Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd