0:00:02 > 0:00:05Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Because he was dead.
0:00:07 > 0:00:08LAUGHTER
0:00:08 > 0:00:11Don't laugh - it happens, you know.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13MUSIC: "Nessun Dorma"
0:00:13 > 0:00:16# Diluegua, o notte
0:00:16 > 0:00:21# Tramontate, stelle... #
0:00:21 > 0:00:23- It's a cheap lighter, Nina. - LAUGHTER
0:00:23 > 0:00:26If it was a cheap lighter, you'd be able to blow out the flame.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29LAUGHTER
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Now is the winter of our discontent,
0:00:32 > 0:00:35- made glorious summer...- What's that?
0:00:35 > 0:00:38It's just some shit I wrote when I was locked in a room with a typewriter.
0:00:38 > 0:00:46# Vince-e-e-ero. #
0:00:46 > 0:00:50- Thank you very much. - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:50 > 0:00:53'I don't know if the story I want to tell you is factual
0:00:53 > 0:00:56'because, by its nature, it demands a certain addition to reality.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58'I mean, I'm talking to puppets.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00'But people have asked, "Is it a documentary?"
0:01:00 > 0:01:04- Is it a documentary, Nina? - Well, I don't know.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07- There are no lies - it all happened. - So it's factual?
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Well, yeah. Here are the basic facts.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12I've been a ventriloquist for about ten years
0:01:12 > 0:01:14because of a man called Ken Campbell.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17HE DRONES IN HIS THROAT
0:01:17 > 0:01:20- Who's Ken Campbell, Nina? - Well, he's impossible to describe.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23- Google him then.- He was indefinable. He, kind of, broke all boundaries.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26He worked underground in the British theatre scene.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29Under the actual ground, Nina?
0:01:29 > 0:01:35No, he was massively influential, but in a... In a subterranean way.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37- What are you on about? - With proper actors.
0:01:37 > 0:01:41If you worked with Ken - if you were lucky enough to work with Ken -
0:01:41 > 0:01:44it did mark you for life. It did. LAUGHTER
0:01:44 > 0:01:47From now on, our lives are going to be either
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Before Campbell or After Campbell.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53- You had a relationship with him. - What?- With sex and everything.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57He was 60, you were 26. I mean, tell us about that, Nina.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59- Shut up, monkey.- Go on.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01I'm not after it sounding...
0:02:01 > 0:02:05He was a writer, he was a director, but what he was really astounding at
0:02:05 > 0:02:07was playing God with other people.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Like a deranged demiurge.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Well, he was a truffle pig for other people's talents.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15He could snort out forgotten art forms and find you something batty
0:02:15 > 0:02:17that you didn't even realise you'd be good at.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20And for me, that was ventriloquism.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Look at you standing there,
0:02:22 > 0:02:24trying not to move your mouth. What an arsehole.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Now it's time for Nina Conti.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32But ten years on now, I'm wondering if this art form has its limitations
0:02:32 > 0:02:35and there always seems to be a certain section of the audience
0:02:35 > 0:02:38that despairs as soon as they see I'm a ventriloquist.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42So, uh... What exactly are you trying to say, Nina?
0:02:42 > 0:02:45I don't know. I mean, I don't know how much money we can make -
0:02:45 > 0:02:48for how long I can keep this up with you, Monkey.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Um, I mean, we could go on...
0:02:50 > 0:02:52We could go like this...
0:02:53 > 0:02:57And I'd rather leave it when we were doing well.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25"This is the last will and testament of me, Kenneth Victor Campbell,
0:03:25 > 0:03:28"aka Henry Pilk,
0:03:28 > 0:03:30"Prettyboy Tentringer
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- "and The Acorn Pig."- The Acorn Pig.
0:03:33 > 0:03:38"I give to Nina Conti all my ventriloquist's manikins -
0:03:38 > 0:03:41"also referred to as dolls, dummies or puppets -
0:03:41 > 0:03:44"together with all my collection books
0:03:44 > 0:03:46"relating to the art of the ventriloquist
0:03:46 > 0:03:51"and any material contained in or recorded on other media relating to the same."
0:03:51 > 0:03:56- Oh, my God. - So it's definitely yours.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59MUSIC: "Simple Twist Of Fate" by Bob Dylan
0:04:03 > 0:04:06So, at the very time when I was about to put away my one puppet,
0:04:06 > 0:04:09I suddenly became responsible for a load more.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Dog was Ken's main puppet. He seemed particularly taciturn.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Well, it took me a while to get a word into any of them.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20- There was Crow... - A kind of daft glove.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- Owl.- Owl? You thought long and hard about these names, Nina.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27A blokey granny who I remember Ken using
0:04:27 > 0:04:30in the role of the American novelist Gertrude Stein...
0:04:31 > 0:04:34- ..and Jack.- The archetypal cliche
0:04:34 > 0:04:36of a horror-movie ventriloquist's manikin.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40But most formidable of all was the puppet of Ken himself.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42# Felt and emptiness inside
0:04:42 > 0:04:47# To which he just could not relate
0:04:47 > 0:04:50They're such uniquely bereaved objects.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52They lose their voices.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58I felt as if something was expected of me.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02I started looking through Ken's notes and books for clues...
0:05:02 > 0:05:04# Hunts her down By the waterfront docks
0:05:04 > 0:05:07# Where the sailors all come in. #
0:05:07 > 0:05:09..when suddenly, hidden amongst it all,
0:05:09 > 0:05:13I found this long forgotten note from Ken insisting that I go
0:05:13 > 0:05:16to the World Ventriloquists' Convention in Kentucky.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19# This simple twist of fate. #
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Now, this was the place where Kenneth bought
0:05:22 > 0:05:26the Teach Yourself Ventriloquism kit that got me started,
0:05:26 > 0:05:29but also, I found these photos of an extraordinary-looking place
0:05:29 > 0:05:33called Vent Haven, which seemed to be a graveyard
0:05:33 > 0:05:35for puppets of dead ventriloquists.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Only in America, Nina.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41So I decided to go on one last Ken-inspired adventure.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46I'm going to go to Kentucky
0:05:46 > 0:05:49and I'm going to donate Ken's dog puppet to Vent Haven.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53Vent Haven - where dummies can go and rest.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56I'm also going to time my visit with the convention
0:05:56 > 0:05:58so that I can meet lots of ventriloquists
0:05:58 > 0:06:01and lots of their puppets and give this art form
0:06:01 > 0:06:03- one last thorough going over. - Freak.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05It's a laying to rest of sorts,
0:06:05 > 0:06:09because I feel I'm coming to the end of my ventriloquism caper.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16We're going to go to Kentucky for a week in July
0:06:16 > 0:06:20and, uh, we're going to film the ventriloquist convention
0:06:20 > 0:06:24and take all Ken's puppets and she's going.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26That sounds good.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30- Well, that went well. - Yeah, that went well.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33That's great. When... Am I going? Can I come?
0:06:35 > 0:06:36No.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43You'll never get away with this. Never, never, never.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Oh, shut up.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Oh, quite cosy.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53- OK?- Have you got my pills?
0:06:53 > 0:06:57Yes, your pills are here and I'm going to pack them as well.
0:06:57 > 0:07:02Cos they go into separate containers for every day.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06- Mm-hmm. I know.- Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday - you know?
0:07:06 > 0:07:10If you get it wrong, all hell breaks loose.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14OK. No, your pills are fine and you're fine
0:07:14 > 0:07:17and I'll see you on the other side.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Oh, your nose.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22See you in Kentucky.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29- Ow!- Ow!- Ow! - SHE LAUGHS
0:07:36 > 0:07:41- Are we nearly there yet? - I think it's quite cosy.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45- I need a drink.- Hell yeah. - Oh, no - my finger's stuck.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49- I think so.- A whole flight and no peanuts.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51No film either.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00- Oh, dear.- Oh, hell. - That was a bit of a bump.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02This is barbaric.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04- We're here! - Yeah, we're here - we did it.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08# We're all going On a summer holiday.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Or so we said at customs.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13- How was it?- Yeah, touch and go, but it was good, it was good.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16It's fine. Lots of layers of customs.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20Just made me think it's all done, they've taken your fingerprints...
0:08:20 > 0:08:22You then have to re-check your luggage.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24- Jesus Christ. Heavy-handed.- Yeah.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27And those customs guys are something else, you know.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Like beefcakes, you know, full of law.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Really? Really your kind of guys.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35The Drawbridge Inn. Here it is. Very exciting.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Hello. Have you got a room for Nina Conti?
0:08:39 > 0:08:42- How do you do.- He's not listed.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- You didn't list me?- No. - How dare you.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47- Here it is.- Thank you. - We just need ID and...- Oh, right.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50For a payment. Here's your room number.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53- Just go down this main hallway. - OK.- Is there a window?
0:08:53 > 0:08:56- Mm-hmm. There's a window in your room.- Great.- All right.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59- Have a great day.- Complementary nuts?- Have a good time.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11Here in Britain, sadly, ventriloquism has gone.
0:09:11 > 0:09:16It's gone. But it's huge in America.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19- A convention?- Yes, we have the ventriloquist convention going on
0:09:19 > 0:09:21and so people are, like, moving around,
0:09:21 > 0:09:23so you're going to see some strange things.
0:09:23 > 0:09:29It's about 300, 500 or something ventriloquists of all sorts.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34And they're real Americans, not like in the movies -
0:09:34 > 0:09:37peculiar, specially-bred Americans -
0:09:37 > 0:09:39these are proper, roaring great arse...
0:09:47 > 0:09:50- Sorry, Monk - you're a bit squashed there.- It's OK.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54- What do you reckon, Monkey? - Depressing as hell.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57- What's wrong with it? - It's corporate.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01- Is this Vent Haven? - No, this is the hotel room.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05- Is Vent Haven as shitty as this? - OK, Jack.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07- This is the room.- Hellhole.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11You're not American. You're not Dog.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14You're not getting the hang of this, are you?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Oh, it reminds me of the old folks' home.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20I'll sit here and write a wee letter, shall I?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Do you mind sleeping in a half-open drawer?
0:10:22 > 0:10:27- Oh, not really - I'm not very fussy. I'd like a pillow.- Yeah.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Oh, my ironing.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34- Oh, I forgot you.- Hello.- Hello.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37- You're jolly. - I'm the only jolly one.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41- Why are you jolly?- I don't know. Do you want any quick advice?
0:10:41 > 0:10:44Yeah, how do I jolly these others up?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46- Have a beer.- OK.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48- Actually, no.- What?
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Inflate Ken's balls.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Nice when you're quiet anyway, bitch.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13- I'm winning.- Up yours.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19Oh, dear. Actually smells of him.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22You won't resurrect him this way.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- Get beer.- Thanks, Crow. Yes, I'm going to.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Can I come?- Yes, Crow, yes, Monkey - you can both come.
0:11:36 > 0:11:41We'll leave the others to get some rest. Oops, nearly got your beak.
0:11:48 > 0:11:53I can't help feeling slightly disappointed by the hotel.
0:11:53 > 0:11:58And that this great, promisingly colourful event
0:11:58 > 0:12:05takes place in this dreary, sort of, Ibis-style motel by the freeway.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Yeah, it's truly dire.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Not truly dire, but it's a bit grim.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15- Yeah, truly dire. - But we'll make it fun, you know.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18We'll have to, just, have good chats in the hotel room and...
0:12:18 > 0:12:23Oh, no - there's a fly on the inside of my beer.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Drink it. Drink it.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Um... You're not going to speak, are you?
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Not while you're drinking.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35# Oh, buffalo gals Won't you come out tonight
0:12:35 > 0:12:37# Can't you come out tonight Can't you come out tonight
0:12:37 > 0:12:42# And dance By the light of the moon. #
0:12:42 > 0:12:47- Look what I'm reading, Monkey. - Problems Of The Self. Good choice.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09That stupid, big puppet in the corner.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12Don't talk about Ken like that.
0:13:12 > 0:13:16He doesn't live, you know?
0:13:16 > 0:13:21Cumbersome. How am I ever going to get him around?
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- I don't know.- I can't make him talk.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28- Why do you think that is? - I don't feel worthy.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31- What about the others? - Well, Gran's very comforting.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34- In fact, I've made you all rather comforting.- Not Jack.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37No, Jack's not comforting.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39And Owl is a halfwit.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Don't say that. This feels silly.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46Talking in an empty room in the middle of the night
0:13:46 > 0:13:49in Kentucky to an imaginary monkey?
0:13:49 > 0:13:51- Yeah.- You don't like it any more?
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Don't you? You don't like it any more?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00No, I don't like it any more.
0:14:02 > 0:14:07Who dared to put wet fruit-bat poo in our dead mummy's bed?
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Was that you, Verity?
0:14:09 > 0:14:13You should be able to say, "Who dared to," without moving your lips at all.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Have a go now. "Who dared to. Who dared to," yeah, fine.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18"Put, put," not so easy and that's because of the P.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21The P is an explosion of air.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25Hump the back of your tongue into the soft palate up above
0:14:25 > 0:14:28to explode air through right at the back.
0:14:28 > 0:14:33Puh. It's "puh". So, "Who dared to...put", you see?
0:14:35 > 0:14:39Do you remember, Ken, that you were the only director
0:14:39 > 0:14:42to ever looked me in the eye when you gave me a direction?
0:14:42 > 0:14:48I've done a few TV shows and directors don't tend to do that.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51They give all the direction to Nina.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53You did that, so I appreciate that.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57He "akkreciates" that, Ken - do you hear that?
0:14:57 > 0:15:01Yeah. The P is a K.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03You taught us that.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06- VOICE BREAKING:- And, um...
0:15:07 > 0:15:09..thanks.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13- CRYING:- Thanks for, "Who dared to put wet fruit-bat turd
0:15:13 > 0:15:15"in our dead mummy's bed?
0:15:15 > 0:15:18"Was that you, Verity?"
0:15:41 > 0:15:43You are...my...
0:15:45 > 0:15:48..idea of heaven.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51- Dog, meet dog.- Pleased to meet you.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Nice to meet you too - you're so small.
0:15:53 > 0:15:57Yeah, I can't believe what's going on here. It's so exciting.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59It is a little crazy, isn't it?
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Nice to meet you. What's your name?
0:16:02 > 0:16:06- Oh, you're winking over there. - Yeah, my name is Corky.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08He's corky, I'm Cookie.
0:16:08 > 0:16:13- What happened? - Oh, well they call me Roadkill.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Oh, no - Roadkill?
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Hi, I'm Squirrely Shirley.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21Squirrely Shirley, we're all getting quite intimate here, aren't we?
0:16:21 > 0:16:25- You're a real star.- No, you're the star, honey. I want to be you.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27- SHE LAUGHS - That's very nice.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29# I want to be you I want to be me. #
0:16:39 > 0:16:41I hate parties.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Oh, look - time for me to go and get lunch.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46- OK, well, nice to meet you. - Was it something I said?
0:16:55 > 0:16:58THUNDERCLAP
0:16:58 > 0:17:00RAIN HISSES
0:17:06 > 0:17:09- This is Kentucky, then.- Yeah. - It was all going so well.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14What happened to all the ventriloquists?
0:17:14 > 0:17:16I thought you said it would be sunny in Kentucky.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the executive director
0:17:19 > 0:17:22of the Vent Haven International Ventriloquist Convention,
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Mr Mark Wade.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26APPLAUSE
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Hey, everybody. We're going to have a tremendous convention.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Are you ready to have a tremendous convention with us out here?
0:17:35 > 0:17:39MUSIC BOX CHIMES "POP GOES THE WEASEL"
0:17:43 > 0:17:45LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Well, who the hell were you expecting?
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Bozo the freakin' clown?
0:17:52 > 0:17:55LAUGHTER
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- Karen, what's your favourite colour? - I like orange.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01- LAUGHTER - I LOVE orange.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- I think I like orange, too. - LAUGHTER
0:18:10 > 0:18:14# How much is that doggy In the window? #
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Drop dead.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20VULTURE YODELS
0:18:23 > 0:18:26EXTENDS LAST NOTE
0:18:26 > 0:18:28APPLAUSE
0:18:28 > 0:18:33There's a new word that I learned this week at the ventriloquist convention called "bifurcating".
0:18:33 > 0:18:35Your lips do one thing, your tongue does the other,
0:18:35 > 0:18:39so I keep the ventriloquism the same as though we were talking
0:18:39 > 0:18:42and keep it the same way, however then I can take the liberty
0:18:42 > 0:18:44and have the lips do something different,
0:18:44 > 0:18:47but I can't really look at you while I'm doing it, cos I have to think
0:18:47 > 0:18:50so hard about what my lips are doing so that I can have them
0:18:50 > 0:18:52go one way and have the tongue go the other way
0:18:52 > 0:18:56and still articulate it and make it work simultaneously,
0:18:56 > 0:18:59which is a little scary.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03- How do you wrap your brain around it? - Don't worry about it.- OK.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06What inspired you to become a ventriloquist?
0:19:06 > 0:19:08I don't know, I think I was very shy when I was little
0:19:08 > 0:19:10so having a little puppet and, you know,
0:19:10 > 0:19:13getting away with saying things that, you know,
0:19:13 > 0:19:17- normally I'd get in trouble for. - Like poo-poo and potty!- Yeah.
0:19:17 > 0:19:21The personality that I have in life is slightly bland and I'm surprised I've chosen it.
0:19:21 > 0:19:27I find myself eager to please and... I don't know, falsely gauche
0:19:27 > 0:19:30and then you come out with what I'm really thinking
0:19:30 > 0:19:33and you just, I think...
0:19:33 > 0:19:36You give me an extra dimension.
0:19:36 > 0:19:40Basically, I'm shy
0:19:40 > 0:19:42and I think that, uh...
0:19:42 > 0:19:45- Hey, hey - the hand.- Sorry. I think that has a lot to do with it.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49I don't know about all ventriloquists but I was very shy as a kid.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52I, kind of, always kept it in the closet because I made the mistake
0:19:52 > 0:19:55when I was about second-grade of taking it into school
0:19:55 > 0:19:59for show and tell one day and I got labelled "The Kid Who Plays With Dolls".
0:19:59 > 0:20:03When I'd gotten about to seventh or eighth grade, they said I played with dolls.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06I said, "No, I didn't," and I threw him in the closet
0:20:06 > 0:20:09and didn't get him out till after high school.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Yeah, my parents said I'd grow out of it. And...
0:20:12 > 0:20:15- Here you are.- Here I am.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17MUSIC: "Skip To My Lou" by Leadbelly
0:20:17 > 0:20:19# Lost my partner Skip to my Lou
0:20:19 > 0:20:21# Lost my partner Skip to my Lou
0:20:21 > 0:20:23# Skip to my Lou, my darling
0:20:23 > 0:20:25# I'll get another one Prettier than you
0:20:25 > 0:20:28# I'll get another one Prettier than you
0:20:28 > 0:20:29# I'll get another one Prettier than you
0:20:29 > 0:20:32# Skip to my Lou, my darling
0:20:32 > 0:20:34# Hey, hey, skip to my Lou
0:20:34 > 0:20:36# Hey, hey, skip to my Lou
0:20:36 > 0:20:39# Hey, hey, skip to my Lou
0:20:39 > 0:20:40# Skip to my Lou, my darling.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42# Hey, hey, skip to my Lou
0:20:42 > 0:20:44# Hey, hey, skip to my Lou
0:20:44 > 0:20:45# Hey, hey, skip to my Lou
0:20:45 > 0:20:47# Skip to my Lou, my darling.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49# Hey, hey, skip to my Lou
0:20:49 > 0:20:51# Hey, hey, skip to my Lou
0:20:51 > 0:20:52# Hey, hey, skip to my Lou
0:20:52 > 0:20:54# Skip to my Lou, my darling. #
0:20:59 > 0:21:01We have a T-shirt from our friend Bob Hamilton.
0:21:01 > 0:21:05The T-shirt says, "The voices you're hearing in your head are mine."
0:21:05 > 0:21:07"Hey."
0:21:09 > 0:21:11My mentor was a man called Ken Campbell.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15He came here in 2000 and he remembers you,
0:21:15 > 0:21:17I don't know if you remember. He was a bald English actor...
0:21:17 > 0:21:19- Yeah, I remember him. - Do you remember him?
0:21:19 > 0:21:22- He had big bushy eyebrows, right? - Yeah!- Right?
0:21:24 > 0:21:27The word comes from the Latin word "vientre".
0:21:27 > 0:21:29"Vientre" is "stomach".
0:21:29 > 0:21:31"Loquis" - "to speak".
0:21:31 > 0:21:36So throwing your voice really means you're getting the sound
0:21:36 > 0:21:41from the stomach and through the throat,
0:21:41 > 0:21:45and so you've modified the sound of it.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Over here, Bob!
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Over here.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53They say throwing your voice, but I'm fooling your hearing.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56So, I can do something like, I throw my voice in here.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01But I'm not really throwing it. It's misdirection. So I said hello, see?
0:22:01 > 0:22:04"Hello." See?
0:22:04 > 0:22:06So, it's things like... "Hey, let me out."
0:22:06 > 0:22:08There's nothing in there,
0:22:08 > 0:22:11but I'm just using this to show you different...
0:22:11 > 0:22:13You're directing your attention here.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16CUP SQUEAKS Well, there you go.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20SQUEAKING CONTINUES
0:22:24 > 0:22:26See, it's a whistle.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Hello? "Hello."
0:22:28 > 0:22:33See? There again, I'm doing the same thing with the whistle.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36BOTTLE HISSES
0:22:41 > 0:22:43HISSING STOPS That's a good one.
0:22:43 > 0:22:48Jump, I'll catch you in here, OK? One, two, three, jump. "No way."
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Come on. "OK." Come on.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53And then I use the whistle, like... WHISTLING DESCENT
0:22:53 > 0:22:56BOTTLE RATTLES Very good. Are you OK?
0:22:56 > 0:22:59"Oh, I hurt my head." I'm sorry.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07- Where've you been, upstart? - I was out.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Did you talk to anyone from Vent Haven?
0:23:11 > 0:23:14- No.- You didn't?
0:23:14 > 0:23:15I did, but I forgot to mention it.
0:23:19 > 0:23:24Why are we here? Why are we here sitting in the hotel room?
0:23:24 > 0:23:29You're drinking. My destiny is in jeopardy.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34KEN CAMPBELL: 'Human beings are all actually barmier
0:23:34 > 0:23:37'and crazier than they try to let it be known.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41'What they develop through their educational processes
0:23:41 > 0:23:44'and growing up and whatnot, and just being around,
0:23:44 > 0:23:49'is that you've got to guard against your own insanity.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52'Once your insanity starts to leak, right?
0:23:52 > 0:23:55'That's when you're put away.
0:23:55 > 0:24:00'However, the ventriloquated doll is the device
0:24:00 > 0:24:06'which allows us access to the insanity of the ventriloquator.'
0:24:07 > 0:24:09You not saying anything?
0:24:12 > 0:24:15I'm waiting till you're listening.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Stop laughing.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22Ken. You're letting him down.
0:24:22 > 0:24:27What have you done with him over there, on the floor?
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Headless.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31- Hmm?- What?
0:24:32 > 0:24:35You haven't got my voice.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38You haven't got it.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40You haven't got anyone's.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44It's disgusting to bring Ken out here.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48You can't attempt Ken.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52It's tantamount to psychic necrophilia.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Psychic necrophilia, Nina.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03You disgust me. You've turned a purported tribute
0:25:03 > 0:25:07into a tart's holiday. A tart's holiday. You're a...
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Urgh, you're horrible.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Oh, dear.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18Don't drink and do ventriloquism, I think, is the moral of this evening.
0:25:34 > 0:25:39I just realised that in this film I can do my own voice-over.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Right now.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47So if this was a shot of me just...
0:25:48 > 0:25:51looking at the ceiling, for example,
0:25:51 > 0:25:53then it would be..
0:25:54 > 0:25:58..like this. That's quite weird. I like it.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02I've really started talking to myself now.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05There's no point in this. There really isn't.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Well, just continue with it. See where it goes.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Interview myself? What would be the point of that?
0:26:12 > 0:26:14Stall the madness.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Have you tried doing a seance?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Why would I do a seance?
0:26:20 > 0:26:22To try and conjure up Ken.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Ken?
0:26:32 > 0:26:33I'm dead.
0:26:38 > 0:26:39Ken?
0:26:39 > 0:26:45Do you remember what I told you about Tuvan chanting?
0:26:45 > 0:26:48I've forgotten The Tuvan chanting a bit.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51SHE DRONES IN HER THROAT
0:27:01 > 0:27:04I never quite got that down.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07I was much better at the ventriloquism.
0:27:07 > 0:27:13- Don't give up.- Can I really go on doing it for ever, Ken?- Yeah.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17When I'm old and ugly...
0:27:19 > 0:27:20..will I still get gigs?
0:27:20 > 0:27:23You're already old and ugly.
0:27:26 > 0:27:31The old and the ugly can get plenty of gigs
0:27:31 > 0:27:34as long as they're funny.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36It'll work out.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42- Bored now.- Screw you.
0:28:12 > 0:28:16- I've got a rather clacky mouth. - You have.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19Yes, it, uh... It's something I've tried to...
0:28:20 > 0:28:24..tried to minimise and yet I haven't so far managed.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33- Your pipe's empty.- Don't I know it.
0:28:34 > 0:28:37Oh, you're the person with the little monkey, aren't you?
0:28:37 > 0:28:40- LAUGHING:- Yeah, I am. Hello.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Hello, hello. How are you?
0:28:42 > 0:28:45- You're very good. - Oh, thank you, thank you.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48This was the maker of Ken.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51There he is! Look, look - that's him.
0:28:51 > 0:28:55He's actually having a laugh, this guy.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58I think you are missing a trick with the one upstairs.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00Goodness, he looks like your ex-boyfriend.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03The less said about him the better.
0:29:03 > 0:29:04Oh, my God. He does.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09I came here with six bereaved puppets.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12- You don't say?- Yeah.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14- How are they?- They're fine.
0:29:14 > 0:29:17Have you taken them to Vent Haven?
0:29:17 > 0:29:21- I haven't yet but I'm going to do it tomorrow.- You don't say.
0:29:21 > 0:29:25I think they might feel rather, um... Warm, I'm hoping.
0:29:25 > 0:29:28You know, they might feel rather reassured
0:29:28 > 0:29:31by so many other puppets who have been through
0:29:31 > 0:29:35- the same traumatic experience. - Well, honey - I hate to say this,
0:29:35 > 0:29:38but I think you're taking this whole thing too seriously.
0:29:39 > 0:29:43This is just clothes. Maybe there's a swimsuit for Gran.
0:29:43 > 0:29:45She wants to swim.
0:29:49 > 0:29:53It's just, it's a manipulation of this scissor movement
0:29:53 > 0:29:56with the hands back and forth then I'm going to take this one
0:29:56 > 0:29:59and I want to have her push her hair up a little bit.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01See how that wrist - that flexible wrist -
0:30:01 > 0:30:03makes that look much more realistic.
0:30:05 > 0:30:09- Urgh...- Orson? Orson, what's the matter?- I don't know.
0:30:09 > 0:30:12What do you do in a situation like this?
0:30:12 > 0:30:17- You die.- All right, hang on. I'll try mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
0:30:17 > 0:30:18You do and you're dead!
0:30:18 > 0:30:20Urgh!
0:30:20 > 0:30:24Stop! Ow, stop! Settle down.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26All right, sit there a second.
0:30:26 > 0:30:29- Just calm down. Try to catch your breath.- All right.
0:30:29 > 0:30:34- OK. What is that?- CPR.- OK.
0:30:34 > 0:30:38- Yes, I'm quite skinny.- Hopefully it's not too painful for you.
0:30:38 > 0:30:42I'm hoping it'll be worth it. Oh, I see...
0:30:42 > 0:30:45There is actually. You know, you could...
0:30:45 > 0:30:49- There's enough arm there. - Are you going to try?
0:30:49 > 0:30:52- Do you want to sit on the stand? - Well, I don't know the, em...
0:30:52 > 0:30:55- OK.- Oh Nina, what are you doing? This is no good!
0:30:55 > 0:30:57Sorry!
0:30:57 > 0:31:00- No, I don't want it like this.- No.
0:31:00 > 0:31:05No, no, bring him forward a bit. I don't mean to get personal with you there, Monkey.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08No, it's this halfwit on the left here.
0:31:08 > 0:31:12To start out with, OK, put the hands together, bring him so that they come together.
0:31:12 > 0:31:15And then just push him, so that he's sitting with them in his lap.
0:31:15 > 0:31:18- OK.- Then we are going to just...
0:31:18 > 0:31:21We're just going to try manipulating one hand.
0:31:21 > 0:31:26And we're going to, you know, reach up and do a little scratch and then bring it down.
0:31:26 > 0:31:31I've been waiting to scratch that itch all these years. Thank you, Dan.
0:31:31 > 0:31:33- You couldn't get your arm up there, right?- No, I couldn't.
0:31:33 > 0:31:36But one of the things is I use a stand that's black.
0:31:36 > 0:31:41- I'm dressed in black. It sort of helps the rods disappear.- Yeah.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44Then the idea of course is to get it all co-ordinated.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46So we're going to conduct a little orchestra here.
0:31:48 > 0:31:54I am very interested in the idea that puppets can say things that humans can't say.
0:31:54 > 0:31:57Yes, that's for sure. But I'm not going to do that right now.
0:31:57 > 0:32:00LAUGHTER
0:32:00 > 0:32:03So, em... And I was was interviewing lots of ventriloquists
0:32:03 > 0:32:09about when their puppets have surprised them by bringing out the side of their personality...
0:32:09 > 0:32:13- ..that they didn't know they had. - Yeah. Finishing my sentences? - Someone's got to.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16Every time on stage when anything is not working...
0:32:16 > 0:32:20Or we get heckled. I always side with the heckler!
0:32:20 > 0:32:22LAUGHTER
0:32:22 > 0:32:29So yeah, I found that a very useful comedic, um, what do you call it?
0:32:29 > 0:32:31- What, vessel?- Vessel, maybe.
0:32:31 > 0:32:34- Um...- I have to give her the words - this is really weird!
0:32:34 > 0:32:37LAUGHTER
0:32:37 > 0:32:41I find it quite useful to have any self-doubt.
0:32:41 > 0:32:44I'm sure we're all riddled with it. You've got voices in your head
0:32:44 > 0:32:47telling you you're stupid, you said that wrong, why are you standing like that?
0:32:47 > 0:32:52- All that.- All that, I say. And you love it!
0:32:52 > 0:32:54They lap it up when I insult you.
0:32:54 > 0:33:00Do you think that ventriloquism helps you to access a more spontaneous part of your brain?
0:33:00 > 0:33:05That's a lot of big words! That's a lot of big words!
0:33:05 > 0:33:08- Um... - I think you could answer that one.
0:33:08 > 0:33:10Access a spontaneous part of my brain?
0:33:10 > 0:33:14- Yeah, when you have a figure on, do you think it helps? - Oh gosh, yes, yeah.
0:33:14 > 0:33:18Because I'm, you know... Eh, yeah!
0:33:18 > 0:33:23Even though I know I'm on stage alone, you know,
0:33:23 > 0:33:27subconsciously I rely on something to take the attention off me.
0:33:27 > 0:33:30There have been times when I just want to...
0:33:30 > 0:33:33I don't even realise I want to say something to this person,
0:33:33 > 0:33:34then she'll say it and do this.
0:33:34 > 0:33:39I can get away and say pretty much anything. What are you going to say to THAT?
0:33:39 > 0:33:44The ability to have your character say something really awful, and before it's turned on you,
0:33:44 > 0:33:47before they say, "Wait a minute, it was that guy that said it",
0:33:47 > 0:33:49I'm already apologising to the person.
0:33:49 > 0:33:52I'm already saying, "Listen, he really didn't mean it. He's just..."
0:33:52 > 0:33:57You immediately defuse it. You're apologising for something he said
0:33:57 > 0:34:00when you said it. I mean, it's almost like, "OK, I know the rules."
0:34:00 > 0:34:04"And you're right. I'll forgive him." We've already put it in third person.
0:34:04 > 0:34:07You know? We've already not only said it, not taken credit for it,
0:34:07 > 0:34:09but dismissed it and apologised for it, you know.
0:34:09 > 0:34:12It's complete schizophrenia gone awry, you know.
0:34:13 > 0:34:17We are nuts! I take my sign down. I thought we were good. We are nuts.
0:34:17 > 0:34:23At least we know the rules of insanity better than everyone else.
0:34:25 > 0:34:32I was stuck in a drawn crave lost. Forgotten why we're here, tarty.
0:34:32 > 0:34:38Dog... and Vent Haven. Ow!
0:34:39 > 0:34:46What do you think you might do with your puppet when you are no longer with us?
0:34:46 > 0:34:49My puppets, yes, they will probably go to the Vent Haven Museum.
0:34:49 > 0:34:54I guess I'm going to be amongst a lot of friends. Well, you wouldn't talk much!
0:34:54 > 0:34:57He'll probably end up at Vent Haven in the museum, more than likely.
0:34:57 > 0:35:02- Vent Haven is certainly an option. - I would love to give one to the Vent Haven.
0:35:02 > 0:35:05I think it's an honour to be in Vent Haven and to have a figure there.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08- To send them to Vent Haven. - To Vent Haven.
0:35:14 > 0:35:22- So, eh, what exactly is Vent Haven? - Vent Haven is a place where...
0:35:22 > 0:35:26..people leave their puppets and bequeath their puppets to,
0:35:26 > 0:35:28because they'll be well looked after there.
0:35:28 > 0:35:31And it is also open as a museum.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34- As a memorial? - Yeah, and a museum.
0:35:34 > 0:35:39And so, can you see... can you see in the coffins?
0:35:39 > 0:35:42It's not coffins.
0:35:42 > 0:35:44So are we going to leave the dog there now?
0:35:44 > 0:35:50I'll keep him with us until we possibly can, um...
0:35:51 > 0:35:54Cos it would be sad to do that before time.
0:36:02 > 0:36:07DIRGE-LIKE MUSIC
0:37:51 > 0:37:55Hang on, I'm just referring to my notes.
0:37:55 > 0:38:00- Um... can we go back a bit? - No, it's fine. I'll carry on.- OK.
0:38:00 > 0:38:03What chemistry did you have with Ken, Nina?
0:38:05 > 0:38:09Um, there was definitely a chemistry there.
0:38:09 > 0:38:14I think he had... great, um, hopes for me.
0:38:14 > 0:38:18- So we're going to meet Ken now.- Yes.
0:38:18 > 0:38:22- And he is going to tell us our ideas - his ideas. - Our ideas?- No, his ideas.
0:38:22 > 0:38:25You said our ideas.
0:38:25 > 0:38:27I mean, I was quite young when I knew him.
0:38:27 > 0:38:29I did say stupid things.
0:38:29 > 0:38:33There only exists one video of me with him.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35And he's telling such an interesting story.
0:38:35 > 0:38:39And I pick up on the stupid details and throw him off the point.
0:38:39 > 0:38:43I was a bit of an asshole - bit of a naive asshole.
0:38:43 > 0:38:49I never got to thank him well enough for having given me a whole career.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54I was planning to do something in his lifetime
0:38:54 > 0:38:57and I ended up doing something after it, which was really annoying.
0:39:05 > 0:39:10Are you sure you are up for it? Are you ready?
0:39:10 > 0:39:13As ready as I will ever be, dear.
0:39:13 > 0:39:16- You only live once, eh?- Yes.
0:39:16 > 0:39:20So, um, do you want to go in in this?
0:39:20 > 0:39:22No, I don't want to get it wet, dear.
0:39:22 > 0:39:25- Gently, dear.- I'm sorry, I can't do it gently.
0:39:25 > 0:39:28I've got to just really yank it.
0:39:28 > 0:39:32Oh no, gently, you're breaking my arm, dear.
0:39:32 > 0:39:35It's cos your hands are bigger than the sleeves.
0:39:35 > 0:39:38- Oh!- Sorry. OK, now pull your arm.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41I can't, I haven't the strength, dear.
0:39:41 > 0:39:47- In your underwear, are you all right?- Oh yes. Protect my modesty, dear.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49I don't want to frighten the horses.
0:39:49 > 0:39:51Oh, look at that!
0:39:51 > 0:39:55- They're naturally buoyant. - That's true.
0:39:55 > 0:39:59Oh look, I'm floating. I'm floating!
0:39:59 > 0:40:02- I didn't know you'd float.- No!
0:40:02 > 0:40:05That's mystifying. Look at that, dear.
0:40:05 > 0:40:11Oh.... Oh, it's the nicest thing I've ever felt.
0:40:11 > 0:40:13It's better than flying, dear.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15Oh, I can feel it seeping in.
0:40:15 > 0:40:19- What do you mean? - I think my legs are expanding.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23Oh yes, they're getting wider and heavier.
0:40:23 > 0:40:27Ah, the stars of Kentucky.
0:40:28 > 0:40:32- Do you want to go under? - Is it safe?- Uh-huh.
0:40:32 > 0:40:37- You have to hold your nose. - I can't do that, dear.
0:40:37 > 0:40:42- Can you fold your nose?- Yes. - Do that then. Yeah, like that.
0:40:42 > 0:40:46Take a deep breath first, OK, and then go under.
0:40:46 > 0:40:49INHALES
0:41:12 > 0:41:15EXHALES
0:41:15 > 0:41:21- You OK? - That was too much, dear.- I'm sorry.
0:41:21 > 0:41:24You held me down too long. It's shocking.
0:41:24 > 0:41:32It filled my mouth and my ears and my nose and my throat, and it was horrible.
0:41:32 > 0:41:36- Take me out now.- OK. - A rum job, dear, a rum job.
0:41:36 > 0:41:39You have to wring me dry.
0:41:41 > 0:41:46- Oh, never again.- You were having such a lovely time.- Never again.
0:41:50 > 0:41:55I'm gonna hit town later, get me some sweet Kentucky ass.
0:41:55 > 0:41:59- Excuse me? You're a dog. - They ain't fussy!
0:42:02 > 0:42:05I don't know about this side to you - you're getting all horny.
0:42:05 > 0:42:08I was thinking about it, Vent Haven,
0:42:08 > 0:42:11I'm going to be God-darn celibate.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15Probably a good thing.
0:42:16 > 0:42:17I don't want to go anymore.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20That is absurd.
0:42:20 > 0:42:24- This whole trip has been about you going to Vent Haven.- Why?
0:42:24 > 0:42:27Because you are the man's best friend,
0:42:27 > 0:42:31that's what you were always said to be.
0:42:31 > 0:42:34Yeah, but I don't mean nothing to you.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37So, you get rid of me? That's too easy.
0:42:49 > 0:42:51- Say, Nina?- Yeah?
0:42:51 > 0:42:55What's all this about you giving up ventriloquism?
0:42:55 > 0:42:57SHE LAUGHS
0:42:57 > 0:42:59Don't laugh.
0:42:59 > 0:43:02That's your career. What are you going to do?
0:43:05 > 0:43:09- I'm giving it a good go, Ken. - What do you mean?
0:43:09 > 0:43:12- Well this is a last hurrah, you know?- Last hurrah...
0:43:14 > 0:43:16Nina?
0:43:16 > 0:43:18Yeah?
0:43:21 > 0:43:23So you had an abortion, didn't you?
0:43:25 > 0:43:29Then about seven months later,
0:43:29 > 0:43:32on the day it should have been born,
0:43:32 > 0:43:36Monkey arrived, is that right?
0:43:39 > 0:43:41Almost to the day.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46Yeah.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49Well, don't you think that's a bit of a coincidence?
0:43:51 > 0:43:52Don't know.
0:43:53 > 0:43:56Doesn't that make him your son?
0:44:00 > 0:44:04Are you going to put your son in a box
0:44:04 > 0:44:08and leave him there for the rest of your life?
0:44:14 > 0:44:17But Ken, don't they know I'm not real?
0:44:17 > 0:44:21- No, because in some sense, you are real.- Right.- Yeah?
0:44:21 > 0:44:24Here's what Schiller said -
0:44:24 > 0:44:29'There is a watcher at the gate of the mind
0:44:29 > 0:44:32'and it's the watcher which stops you being creative.
0:44:34 > 0:44:38'Because creation and insanity are almost the same thing.'
0:44:42 > 0:44:46- Monkey, it's your job. She can't do it.- Yes.
0:44:46 > 0:44:51But you, you can kill off the watcher of the gate of the mind.
0:44:51 > 0:44:53- Yes, I get you.- So that we get...
0:44:53 > 0:44:59We go raw, and into spontaneous imagination and creation.
0:45:00 > 0:45:04- You not nervous? - No, not particularly.
0:45:10 > 0:45:13Are you thinking this might be our last gig?
0:45:19 > 0:45:22Talk to me, Nina. Say something.
0:45:22 > 0:45:26I enjoy when a ventriloquist takes ventriloquism to the next level.
0:45:26 > 0:45:29This little box that has been stuck in with tradition
0:45:29 > 0:45:35and consistency of conservativity - why be conservative?
0:45:35 > 0:45:36Why think like everyone else does?
0:45:36 > 0:45:39Why do the corny jokes with the wooden heads?
0:45:39 > 0:45:40Be your own character.
0:45:40 > 0:45:44I give you the talents of Nina Conti.
0:45:44 > 0:45:46APPLAUSE
0:45:48 > 0:45:50Hi!
0:45:52 > 0:45:54Do you want to say hello?
0:45:54 > 0:45:57Hello. Where are we?
0:45:57 > 0:45:59We're at the ventriloquist convention.
0:45:59 > 0:46:01Everybody here's a ventriloquist.
0:46:01 > 0:46:03- No pressure, then?- No(!)
0:46:03 > 0:46:04LAUGHTER
0:46:07 > 0:46:08- Oh, are you all right? - Take it off.
0:46:08 > 0:46:10- How?- Just twist it.
0:46:12 > 0:46:13Oh, no, don't twist it.
0:46:13 > 0:46:15SHE GIGGLES
0:46:15 > 0:46:17- I'm going to count from three to one...- Yeah?
0:46:17 > 0:46:19When I get to one, you'll be asleep.
0:46:19 > 0:46:22Three... You're suddenly feeling quite tired.
0:46:23 > 0:46:26Two... Your eyes are beginning to close.
0:46:27 > 0:46:31One... You are now in a deep level of trance.
0:46:38 > 0:46:40LAUGHTER
0:46:49 > 0:46:51LAUGHTER
0:47:00 > 0:47:01Ow!
0:47:01 > 0:47:02LAUGHTER
0:47:02 > 0:47:05I can't talk to this. It's too skeletal and it's freaking me out.
0:47:05 > 0:47:09OK, then. Put his hand down by your side, but I'm still here.
0:47:11 > 0:47:14- Where are you now?- I'm in your mind.
0:47:14 > 0:47:16MAN LAUGHS
0:47:16 > 0:47:19The laughter's got a bit uneasy.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21It's OK, we're nearly done.
0:47:21 > 0:47:24LAUGHTER
0:47:24 > 0:47:27- What do I do now? - Are you ready for the final step?
0:47:27 > 0:47:29No - what's the final step?
0:47:29 > 0:47:33- I need to use your mouth. - No, no, no, no.
0:47:33 > 0:47:35- And your face.- No, no, stay where you are.- Here I come.
0:47:35 > 0:47:38Here I come, here I come, here I am!
0:47:38 > 0:47:42Oh, at last I'm in this stupid girl!
0:47:43 > 0:47:47And you're all a bit freaked out now, aren't you?
0:47:48 > 0:47:50Quite a sweet voice on a little monkey,
0:47:50 > 0:47:53but within a dress, it's bloody sinister!
0:47:54 > 0:47:57Thank you. Thank you, and good night.
0:47:57 > 0:47:59APPLAUSE
0:48:07 > 0:48:09Thank you very much.
0:48:14 > 0:48:17That performance was stunning. I can't imagine someone can get
0:48:17 > 0:48:20that kind of expression out of that little puppet.
0:48:20 > 0:48:23- You were really good with that ape. - Thank you.
0:48:23 > 0:48:25- You were awesome. - You were really good.
0:48:25 > 0:48:27The act was freaky but funny.
0:48:42 > 0:48:47Do get the feeling that ventriloquism is downgraded -
0:48:47 > 0:48:51people despair as soon as they see it's going to be ventriloquism?
0:48:51 > 0:48:52That's my feeling.
0:48:52 > 0:48:54I think it's given to you,
0:48:54 > 0:48:56it's the possibility, which is good fun,
0:48:56 > 0:49:01to raise up this discarded artform.
0:49:02 > 0:49:05I'm happy to say, Christ, this is a thing, this is better.
0:49:08 > 0:49:13OK, Nina. Well, I propose that you stage my death.
0:49:13 > 0:49:14What?!
0:49:14 > 0:49:19In order to investigate how you really feel about a life without me.
0:49:23 > 0:49:24Yeah...
0:49:25 > 0:49:27OK, Nina. Action!
0:49:30 > 0:49:32OK, Nina, drop the monkey.
0:49:36 > 0:49:38CAR ENGINE REVS
0:49:38 > 0:49:40And action, car.
0:49:41 > 0:49:42Jesus...
0:49:42 > 0:49:44Monkey! MONKEY!
0:49:44 > 0:49:46SHE SCREAMS
0:49:46 > 0:49:48What happened?
0:49:48 > 0:49:49SHE SCREAMS AND SOBS
0:49:49 > 0:49:53- Holy cow!- He's dead. - Move your car! Move your car back!
0:49:53 > 0:49:55I'm getting in the car!
0:49:55 > 0:49:57SHE SOBS
0:50:02 > 0:50:04- I'm sorry.- I...
0:50:04 > 0:50:10I was just going to take a pastor to his church.
0:50:10 > 0:50:14Do you want him to have his last rites?
0:50:14 > 0:50:17I don't... I don't understand.
0:50:17 > 0:50:19You brought nothing into this world.
0:50:19 > 0:50:22Certainly, we can take nothing with us.
0:50:22 > 0:50:25What else can we say but earth to earth,
0:50:25 > 0:50:27ashes to ashes,
0:50:27 > 0:50:29dust to dust.
0:50:29 > 0:50:31The body we live with is kindred on us,
0:50:31 > 0:50:33in spirit we live with God.
0:50:33 > 0:50:35Amen.
0:50:40 > 0:50:41- I'm just so sorry.- I know.
0:50:43 > 0:50:44Thank you.
0:50:46 > 0:50:48Can I try to get you another monkey or something?
0:50:51 > 0:50:54I feel so bad. I mean, I don't know what to do.
0:50:54 > 0:50:58Man, we're both ventriloquists.
0:50:58 > 0:50:59I would have been the same.
0:50:59 > 0:51:02I hope nobody thinks I did that deliberate
0:51:02 > 0:51:05just to knock out one of my competitions.
0:51:08 > 0:51:11- The Lord specialises in heavy hearts. - Yeah.
0:51:17 > 0:51:18SHE SOBS
0:51:23 > 0:51:27One of the great ways of making a love story audience cry...
0:51:30 > 0:51:32..is to part the lovers
0:51:34 > 0:51:37and then unite them by chance, like all of a sudden. Yeah?
0:51:38 > 0:51:40Bang!
0:51:40 > 0:51:43That gets the folk.
0:52:01 > 0:52:05I suppose you're wondering why we're out here?
0:52:08 > 0:52:13I'm really sorry I never said thank you enough in your lifetime.
0:52:13 > 0:52:15And...
0:52:17 > 0:52:21I'm really grateful for the adventures
0:52:21 > 0:52:26and ventriloquism and I'm sorry I was such a vapid, stupid idiot.
0:52:29 > 0:52:33And I really loved you,
0:52:33 > 0:52:37but I kept my distance.
0:52:37 > 0:52:42I was scared of the shouting and the age difference.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46Age difference?
0:52:47 > 0:52:49Look at us now -
0:52:49 > 0:52:52we're immortal!
0:53:16 > 0:53:21It was a good job you brought my understudy along.
0:53:21 > 0:53:22Yes, wasn't that a good job.
0:53:22 > 0:53:26I couldn't have done that scene under the car - Jesus!
0:53:26 > 0:53:28No...
0:53:28 > 0:53:33That lady who run him over, wow, like her.
0:53:37 > 0:53:39Was she lady, Nina?
0:53:40 > 0:53:42Yes!
0:53:42 > 0:53:44- Are you sure?- Yeah.
0:53:46 > 0:53:48- She sounds like a lady.- Yeah.
0:53:49 > 0:53:52- She's tall for a lady.- Mm.
0:53:55 > 0:53:58She's lady.
0:54:07 > 0:54:11- Feeling good after your swim, Gran? - Oh yes, it did me wonders.
0:54:12 > 0:54:14That's terrific.
0:54:14 > 0:54:17Dog's just told me he doesn't want to go to Vent Haven anymore.
0:54:17 > 0:54:18Oh, really?
0:54:18 > 0:54:21So no-one's going to go to Vent Haven after all.
0:54:21 > 0:54:23That's not right.
0:54:23 > 0:54:24Why not?
0:54:24 > 0:54:27Someone's got to go.
0:54:27 > 0:54:29We've come all this way.
0:54:32 > 0:54:33Yes, we just...
0:54:33 > 0:54:38I was interested in whether it would be possible to donate
0:54:38 > 0:54:41a puppet to you guys and to the museum.
0:54:43 > 0:54:45Yes, I can bring it over today.
0:54:48 > 0:54:51Brilliant, thank you very much. OK, bye.
0:54:58 > 0:55:02- Gran, we're here.- Kentucky? - We're at Vent Haven.
0:55:02 > 0:55:08- Kentucky?- Yes, we're here now. Are you ready?- Yes, dear.
0:55:08 > 0:55:11So, um, I just want to say goodbye.
0:55:11 > 0:55:13Well done, dear.
0:55:13 > 0:55:18You've been lovely. I really like you and I'll come and visit.
0:55:18 > 0:55:21- Right you are.- OK.
0:55:21 > 0:55:24Bye, Gran. So good of you.
0:55:24 > 0:55:27- No, it's no trouble, dear.- OK.
0:55:28 > 0:55:32- So, are you going to be warm enough? - Yes, I'll be fine.- OK.
0:55:58 > 0:56:00What are you thinking, Nina?
0:56:00 > 0:56:03I'm thinking that when Ken bought me
0:56:03 > 0:56:05that first Teach Yourself Ventriloquism kit
0:56:05 > 0:56:10I had no idea that it was going to change the course of my life
0:56:10 > 0:56:14and that I'd end up probably going to a ventriloquists' convention
0:56:14 > 0:56:19every year, just like Christmas or a birthday.
0:56:19 > 0:56:22You mean you're going to carry on doing ventriloquism?
0:56:23 > 0:56:25I somehow think we are.
0:56:26 > 0:56:29That's cool.
0:56:35 > 0:56:40# The other night, dear As I lay sleeping
0:56:40 > 0:56:46# I dreamed I held you in my arms
0:56:46 > 0:56:51# But when I awoke, dear I was mistaken
0:56:51 > 0:56:57# And I hung my head and I cried
0:56:57 > 0:57:02# You are my sunshine My only sunshine
0:57:02 > 0:57:08# You make me happy When skies are grey
0:57:08 > 0:57:13# You'll never know, dear How much I love you
0:57:13 > 0:57:18# Please don't take my sunshine away. #
0:57:31 > 0:57:35- I was wondering if you'd like this puppet?- I would love it!
0:57:35 > 0:57:38Would you really? Cos I'm no good at it,
0:57:38 > 0:57:40and I've been trying so hard
0:57:40 > 0:57:43- and I just thought you were so great and you're so promising.- Thank you.
0:57:43 > 0:57:48So that's from me, and I think it's going to a great home, so...
0:57:48 > 0:57:50- Thank you.- You're welcome. Good luck with him.
0:57:50 > 0:57:54# I think you played the game right from the start
0:57:54 > 0:57:58# This toy heart was broken when parting words were spoken
0:57:58 > 0:58:02# Darling, you toyed with a toy heart
0:58:02 > 0:58:05# Now darling you know you've done me wrong
0:58:05 > 0:58:09# Your love for me has passed and gone
0:58:09 > 0:58:13# I'll find somebody new I hope that they'll be true
0:58:13 > 0:58:16# Darling you toyed with a toy heart
0:58:16 > 0:58:19# Darling you toyed with a toy heart
0:58:19 > 0:58:23# I think you played the game right from the start
0:58:23 > 0:58:27# This toy heart was broken when parting words were spoken
0:58:27 > 0:58:31# Darling you toyed with a toy heart. #
0:58:41 > 0:58:45- Hello.- Hello.- Hello.
0:58:46 > 0:58:50- Hello, welcome back. - Welcome back.- Did you miss me?
0:58:50 > 0:58:52Yes. Very much.
0:58:52 > 0:58:54Good.
0:59:10 > 0:59:13Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd