0:00:18 > 0:00:19Thank you.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21Now...
0:00:21 > 0:00:23we start tonight on our track.
0:00:23 > 0:00:28This is a place of screaming engines and tyre smoke.
0:00:28 > 0:00:33It is a cathedral to the god of thunder and the mistress of power.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36The natural home, then, for James May.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45That is a selection of sporty Astons.
0:00:54 > 0:01:01All of them neatly demonstrating exactly what's wrong with modern sports cars - handling.
0:01:03 > 0:01:09The people who make sports cars are absolutely obsessed with it, to the exclusion of everything else,
0:01:09 > 0:01:14like comfort, refinement. They just give you a racket, a load of smoke and a bad back.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16ENGINE ROARS
0:01:16 > 0:01:20That is the noise made by idiots - full of sound and fury
0:01:20 > 0:01:22and signifying nothing.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27The reason these Astons are so unnecessarily hard core
0:01:27 > 0:01:32is this because of this place - the Nurburgring.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36As soon as a car company comes here to develop a new model,
0:01:36 > 0:01:39they forget about everything else except lap times,
0:01:39 > 0:01:43and that is the ruination of a car.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Of course, those of you who know your Astons will be saying,
0:01:49 > 0:01:55"But there is a model for you - the DB9, the most grown-up and least sporty Aston of them all."
0:01:55 > 0:02:00The trouble with this, though, is, it isn't shaking my teeth out
0:02:00 > 0:02:04and it's not sending me into a boiling rage about handling,
0:02:04 > 0:02:06but it isn't really giving me the fizz, either.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10I think this has now gone a bit too far the other way.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14There's a slight whiff of old fart about it.
0:02:14 > 0:02:19So, what I need is the comfort of the DB9
0:02:19 > 0:02:22infused with some of the power of the red-hot DBS.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27And it looks like my prayers may have been answered...
0:02:28 > 0:02:30..with this, the new Virage.
0:02:31 > 0:02:36At first glance, it looks the same as any of the current Astons.
0:02:36 > 0:02:41But take a second look and you'll see that nearly all the body panels are new,
0:02:41 > 0:02:46as are the front grille and the streamlined headlights.
0:02:46 > 0:02:51But does it fill the gap between the DB9 and the DBS?
0:02:53 > 0:02:58Now, the DBS has 510 horsepower,
0:02:58 > 0:03:06the DB9 over there has 470, and the Virage, that has 490.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Logically, then, the Virage should be the second fastest.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12I wonder how we can find that out.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15ENGINES ROAR
0:03:16 > 0:03:21Well, come on, we've got a runway and three Astons. What do you expect us to do?
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Go!
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Taking the DB9...
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Only just. It's very close.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Oh, yes, yes, yes!
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Yes!
0:03:44 > 0:03:47The car in the middle of the power range
0:03:47 > 0:03:50came in the middle of the race. How about that?
0:03:50 > 0:03:56The Virage uses the same 6-litre V12 you'll find in the DB9 and the DBS,
0:03:56 > 0:04:00but, again, it's a sort of in-the-middle version.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06It's tuned differently from the DBS engine.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10Now it gives 85% of maximum torque...
0:04:10 > 0:04:14it does 1,500 RPM...
0:04:14 > 0:04:19and it will go on to 186 miles an hour!
0:04:20 > 0:04:25And when all this gets a bit much, you have ceramic brakes as standard.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27So...
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Phwoar.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Nice.
0:04:33 > 0:04:38As for the handling - surprise, surprise - it's sharper than the DB9
0:04:38 > 0:04:42but not as aggressive as a DBS.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45So let's move on to the price.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47The DBS is £170,000.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51The DB9 is £125,000.
0:04:51 > 0:04:56The new Virage is £150,000. You see - in the middle.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03So far, then, it's shaping up well, and it gets better.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06This is probably the best-looking of all the Astons
0:05:06 > 0:05:09and it has the nicest interior.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13The stitching is all done by one seamstress to keep the weave constant.
0:05:14 > 0:05:19And, joy of joys, the useless Volvo sat nav of other Astons
0:05:19 > 0:05:21has been ditched for one that works.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25However, before I can give this car a clean bill of health,
0:05:25 > 0:05:29I have to address the elephant in the room.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33The worry is, they've made another track monster.
0:05:33 > 0:05:38They've fallen for the same old trick - it's got to go round the Nurburgring, etc, etc.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41So I've decided to do something radical -
0:05:41 > 0:05:46leave the track and go for a potter round our airfield.
0:05:46 > 0:05:53My idea here is to go on something a bit like a real road and see what the ride is actually like,
0:05:53 > 0:05:59and it will allow me to show you all the bits of the Top Gear test track that you never normally see.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02That's actually our studio. This is Nigel's garage.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04He's a lovely chap.
0:06:04 > 0:06:09Unfortunately, viewers, I then had to cancel the rest of the tour
0:06:09 > 0:06:13because, after just a few hundred yards, I was too cross to carry on.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16My God, I don't believe it. They've done it.
0:06:16 > 0:06:22I've got everything turned off, I've got sport off, the firm suspension off, but it's still too jiggly.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24HE SIGHS
0:06:24 > 0:06:27It's been ruined by the ride. Listen.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31Rattle, rattle, bang, bang. That is not necessary.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38The Virage, then, is a missed opportunity.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42It could, and should, have been a comfortable gentleman's express.
0:06:42 > 0:06:47Instead, it's just another pointless bone-shaking racing car.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55APPLAUSE
0:06:55 > 0:07:00This is the Nissan Pixo and it is the cheapest car on sale in the UK right now.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03It costs just £6,995.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06It sounds fantastic, but is it?
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Jeremy decided to find out.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Well, here it is.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19It's built in India and it has a one-litre, three-cylinder engine,
0:07:19 > 0:07:21so it's very slow.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26Also, it doesn't look very nice, it isn't very spacious
0:07:26 > 0:07:30and it comes with less equipment than a cave.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34You do get power steering and anti-lock brakes.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Argh, ducks!
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Missed them. Thank you, anti-lock brakes. Working well there.
0:07:39 > 0:07:44You also get a radio, and a dial!
0:07:45 > 0:07:48But if you want to get the window down,
0:07:48 > 0:07:52you have to move this lever in an anti-clockwise direction.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56To get it up again, you move it in a clockwise direction.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00And it's a similar story with the door mirrors.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02They're operated by these funny prongs.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05You don't even get any carpets.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07But if you pay an extra £37,
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Nissan will sell you what they call
0:08:09 > 0:08:14luxury velour textile floor mats.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17If you spend £3 on top of that,
0:08:17 > 0:08:21they will give you a Nissan-branded toggle bag,
0:08:21 > 0:08:25containing both a sponge and a sachet of car shampoo.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Of course, you might say that for less than £7,000,
0:08:30 > 0:08:35you should expect to do without speed and space and looks
0:08:35 > 0:08:38and electric windows and carpets.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40But do you have to?
0:08:40 > 0:08:44Because what does £6,995 buy you
0:08:44 > 0:08:48if you're prepared to ferret around on the second-hand market?
0:08:49 > 0:08:51This, for a kick-off.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57This is a Bentley Turbo R.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02It's 23 years old, it's done 122,000 miles
0:09:02 > 0:09:09and this actual car is for sale right now for £6,995.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11For all this!
0:09:11 > 0:09:13I mean, look at it!
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Not a Nissan, no.
0:09:15 > 0:09:20What it is is a Bentley that I'm in, for the same money.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24It's got five more cylinders than the Nissan and a turbocharger,
0:09:24 > 0:09:26so it is MUCH faster.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30And the luxury lambswool mats are included in the price.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33If I operate this button,
0:09:33 > 0:09:35my window goes up and down.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38With this button, I can move my seat backwards and forwards.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41With this button, I adjust my horns. I can have a twin horn.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42HORN BEEPS
0:09:42 > 0:09:46Very nice. Or a single one. No. I'll just have a twin one.
0:09:49 > 0:09:55Back in 1988, this car cost someone £79,000.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59Here we are now and you can buy it for less than a tenth of that.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02I mean, look!
0:10:02 > 0:10:07Leather, leather, leather, leather. Wood. Leather, leather, leather.
0:10:07 > 0:10:12Leather. Leather. Leather.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15It is genuinely unbelievable
0:10:15 > 0:10:19that that car costs exactly the same as this car.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Of course, we're not thick. Well, he is.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26But even he knows that the Bentley was hand-made in England
0:10:26 > 0:10:30and saying something was hand-made in England is just a way of saying
0:10:30 > 0:10:31the door's going to fall off.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34This isn't going to be as reliable as the Nissan.
0:10:34 > 0:10:39When stuff does go wrong with this, the bills are going to be ma-hoo-sive.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41They are, they are. Don't worry, though.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45It turns out there are many, many alternatives.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49All of the cars here are on the market right now
0:10:49 > 0:10:53for less than the price of that Nissan Pixo.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59The Honda S2000, for example.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03This one is now for sale with 47,000 miles on the clock
0:11:03 > 0:11:06for £6,500.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08And you could have a Mazda RX8.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12Look, four doors, like the Nissan Pixo.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14This one has done 28,000 miles.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18It's new! It's a brand-new car!
0:11:18 > 0:11:22Subaru Impreza, in budget, in the correct blue and gold alloys. Lovely.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23- WRX, this one.- It is.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Could you get an STI in budget?
0:11:25 > 0:11:28- No.- P1.- No.- RB5.- Now you're just saying letters and numbers.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30- SK1? - That's the postcode for Stockport.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32It's done 37,000 miles.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34What?
0:11:34 > 0:11:36It's only done 37,000?
0:11:36 > 0:11:39It's got everything on it.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42- Electric mirrors, air-con. - Air conditioning.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43£6,500.
0:11:43 > 0:11:44That's fantastic.
0:11:44 > 0:11:50Of course, some of the cars we found are cheap because they're rubbish.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54But most aren't, like this Alpha, this Jag,
0:11:54 > 0:11:55or these BMWs.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58We even found a Porsche.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06It's done 88,000 miles and it feels tight as a drum
0:12:06 > 0:12:08and you are driving about in a convertible Porsche.
0:12:08 > 0:12:09That's what worries me.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- Do you think we look a bit...- Manly.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15- No.- Tough. No, the opposite of those things.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Hello there.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19We're talking about football.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21I'm just going to spit out of the window.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Can we go and have a look at some fighter jets?
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Ready, go, go, go.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33ENGINE BLARES
0:12:33 > 0:12:36There. It just does a sort of raaaaah.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40It makes a great noise, they are incredibly well balanced.
0:12:40 > 0:12:45It is hard to think of a better car for £6,500, or £6,900, than this.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50That gave us an idea for a challenge.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54Which one of us could buy the most amazing car
0:12:54 > 0:12:56for the price of a Nissan Pixo?
0:13:02 > 0:13:03This is my choice.
0:13:04 > 0:13:11A Mercedes CL which I found on the internet for £6,995.
0:13:13 > 0:13:18What makes that price particularly extraordinary
0:13:18 > 0:13:21is that this is the top-of-the-range model, the V12.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23It comes with just about everything.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26It has a television, it has radar-guided cruise control
0:13:26 > 0:13:29that maintains a set distance to the car in front.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31It has voice-activated controls.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35It has seats that massage you as you drive along.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38If you bought the equivalent of this car today,
0:13:38 > 0:13:41it would cost you £161,000.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45And that makes this the bargain of the century.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46No, it isn't.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47Because THIS is.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49The BMW 850ci.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53It, too, has a V12 engine. Not the lesser V8-engined 840.
0:13:53 > 0:13:58But what makes this car better than Jeremy's is...
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Pop-up headlamps.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01Simple as that.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05- How much did you pay for this? - £6,700. Yours?
0:14:06 > 0:14:11- £6,995.- Less!- How old is it? - '94... 17 years old.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14- Ahem, nine.- Really?
0:14:14 > 0:14:18- Nine years old. - How many miles has it done?- 127.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- 54,000.- Rubbish!
0:14:21 > 0:14:25Why does it have casters from a sofa instead of wheels?
0:14:25 > 0:14:29OK, it's period. They were that size in those days.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32What are they? 17? 16? 16-inch.
0:14:32 > 0:14:3316-inch wheels.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35And you know full well
0:14:35 > 0:14:38that means fatter tyres and that means a better ride.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41It's got Smarties for wheels. And is that ruched leather?
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Oh, yes. Yes, it is.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Why do people from Birmingham like a ruche?!
0:14:48 > 0:14:50To find out which of us
0:14:50 > 0:14:54had bought the best car, we decided to conduct a series of tests,
0:14:54 > 0:14:57starting, not unsurprisingly, with speed.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02This is a 1.8-mile runway
0:15:02 > 0:15:06and all we wanted to know is who'd get to the far end first.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12Of course, what matters most of all in a race like this is power
0:15:12 > 0:15:14and the simple fact is I have more of it.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16A lot more. And more torque.
0:15:18 > 0:15:22Because my car has pop-up headlamps, it is sleeker at the front,
0:15:22 > 0:15:27more aerodynamic and, in a race like this, aerodynamics matter.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31Three, two, one, go!
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Yeah! Oh...
0:15:37 > 0:15:39And that is goodbye, Hammond.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43His car is limited, top speed 155.
0:15:43 > 0:15:48BMW, not limited. Top speed, 156.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53(I can still whisper. 130 miles an hour.
0:15:55 > 0:15:56(140.)
0:15:56 > 0:16:01He's ahead, yes, but soon he will hit the limiter
0:16:01 > 0:16:03and I will surge past.
0:16:03 > 0:16:07155 miles an hour.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10But that surging thing didn't happen.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11Kack!
0:16:12 > 0:16:15What a machine!
0:16:15 > 0:16:18We pulled over for a post-race chat.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19MOBILE RINGS
0:16:19 > 0:16:24- Hello!- Hello! Can I just say, what happened there?
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Well, obviously the BM lost.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30The weirdest thing was, as we crossed the finishing line at the end,
0:16:30 > 0:16:32mine changed up,
0:16:32 > 0:16:37so I think given a longer runway, like 50 miles longer...
0:16:37 > 0:16:39- Yes, yes, yes.- I would have won.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42- Have you ever run a race while carrying a television?- No.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46- And a sideboard.- I've got a television and a sideboard in here.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Can I also say I want one of these phones on a cord in my car.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52HE LAUGHS
0:16:54 > 0:16:57To try and understand why Hammond's car was so slow,
0:16:57 > 0:17:01we put it on a machine that would reveal how many horsepowers
0:17:01 > 0:17:02had escaped over the years.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04There's no need to tether it.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Got to shackle this beast down.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09- It took nearly an hour to get down that runaway.- No, it didn't.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Soon the machine gave us an answer.
0:17:15 > 0:17:16- How many was it? - 296 when it was new.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19296 horsepower for your five-litre engine.
0:17:19 > 0:17:24- How many years old?- 17 years old. - 269 at the flywheel.
0:17:24 > 0:17:2627 horses have escaped.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29- Less than two a year.- You could eat that many horses a year.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Perhaps you're just a rubbish driver.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35We then decided to test the Mercedes.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39- Jet noise.- That's not the car!
0:17:39 > 0:17:45- To start with, 362 brake horse power.- Yes.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Today, after nine years... Yes.
0:17:47 > 0:17:48352.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50352.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53So my car has lost fewer horsepower than yours,
0:17:53 > 0:17:55is faster than yours,
0:17:55 > 0:17:59has much more equipment than yours.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03It hasn't got pop-up headlamps and the leather is NOT ruched!
0:18:05 > 0:18:08We then checked out our cars' interiors,
0:18:08 > 0:18:12using our old friend, Mr Manlove and his team of forensic experts.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16You know the last time we tested cars like this on Top Gear?
0:18:16 > 0:18:20- Didn't we find that yours was all full of blood and mucus?- Yeah.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21And faeces.
0:18:23 > 0:18:28After a microscopic examination, Manlove was ready with the results.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Why don't we go Hammond first, since you usually lose these?
0:18:31 > 0:18:32All right, then.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35With the BMW, first of all, we are lacking faeces this time.
0:18:35 > 0:18:36- No faeces.- Yes! No faeces!
0:18:36 > 0:18:41No faeces. We do have plenty of saliva, which you would expect.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45It is on the carphone. When you talk, little spatters of saliva coem out.
0:18:45 > 0:18:51We also had a lot of material which looks like rolled nasal mucus again.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55- What nasal mucus?- Rolled. - Rolled nasal...- As in...
0:18:55 > 0:18:59- Picking and flicking.- Absolutely.
0:18:59 > 0:19:04- Finally, there was an odour of urine.- Somebody in there has wet themselves?
0:19:04 > 0:19:09- It was a general, pervading aroma. - I need another lavatory!- Right.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11The Mercedes.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Um, there was some white powder found on tapings
0:19:14 > 0:19:20as was some herbal material that looked like it had been cut or chopped.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22- We didn't do any further testing on that.- White powder...
0:19:22 > 0:19:25- So that is talc.- Yes. It could be talcum powder.- Or flour.
0:19:25 > 0:19:30And moving on to the front passenger seat. There was a rhinestone.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32And then we had chemical reactions with that
0:19:32 > 0:19:35we would frequently find if we were examining different
0:19:35 > 0:19:39types of cases on potentially vagina swabs, present.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41- Vaginal... - Material on the passenger seat.
0:19:47 > 0:19:52- So, mine was a drooling businessman flicking bogeys, wet himself. Yours...- Was an interesting bloke.
0:19:52 > 0:19:57- Could the rhinestone have come from a vajazzle?- What's that?
0:19:57 > 0:20:00A vajazzle. They don't have them in Herefordshire. Don't worry.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- I'm seeing a magic stick that you wave at things.- No, it isn't that.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07With Manlove's test complete,
0:20:07 > 0:20:12we took our cars onto the road to see what they're like on the...road.
0:20:16 > 0:20:21Oh, yeah. Headlamps popping up. Ooh, yeah.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23I'll put them away.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Just feels great.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29It doesn't feel old-fashioned, outdated or second-hand.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33There's just not a clue that this is anything other
0:20:33 > 0:20:34than an incredibly expensive car.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38Rear roller blind, yep, that's working well.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42Put it in sport mode, that works.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46Raise the suspension up, lower it, turn the traction control off.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Cruise control.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51In some ways, it's not really a rival for the Nissan Pixo,
0:20:51 > 0:20:53but it is a rival for a brand-new Mercedes.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56You do have to ask, why would you buy one?
0:20:56 > 0:21:00Let me just try the linguatronic, make sure that's working OK.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Radio Two.
0:21:04 > 0:21:11- 'Capital. Radio 4. News Direct. - Cancel.'
0:21:11 > 0:21:13That's working brilliantly.
0:21:13 > 0:21:18Exactly like every linguatronic system I've ever encountered.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Total disobedience!
0:21:21 > 0:21:25Soon, we pulled over in the town of Market Harborough
0:21:25 > 0:21:28to conduct a little experiment.
0:21:28 > 0:21:34- This Mercedes, V12, how much do you reckon?- 20, 25.- 20 or 25.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36- 27 grand.- 27 grand?
0:21:36 > 0:21:39- 12 or 13.- 12 or 13?
0:21:39 > 0:21:42It's a V12 BMW, what would you think that was for sale for
0:21:42 > 0:21:44if it was for sale today?
0:21:44 > 0:21:46- About 12,000.- 12,000?
0:21:46 > 0:21:4840 to 50,000.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50What about this car, sir?
0:21:50 > 0:21:52It's a V12 also. It's done 54,000 miles.
0:21:52 > 0:21:5420, something like that.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56If your neighbour put that on the drive,
0:21:56 > 0:21:58you'd think, "They've done all right."
0:22:01 > 0:22:02It's as we thought.
0:22:02 > 0:22:07People think these cars are worth far more than we actually paid.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11So what we have here are two V12 super coupes,
0:22:11 > 0:22:14blasting through the heart of England
0:22:14 > 0:22:19silently, quickly, comfortably and cheaply.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29If the Nissan's done one thing for us,
0:22:29 > 0:22:34it's let us know that these cars are out there for that kind of money.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38It's a complete no-brainer.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Matt Le Blanc!
0:22:55 > 0:22:57CHEERING
0:23:03 > 0:23:04Have a seat.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06He's here!
0:23:06 > 0:23:11CHEERING CONTINUES
0:23:11 > 0:23:13That's a good welcome.
0:23:13 > 0:23:14Now, first of all,
0:23:14 > 0:23:18hearty congratulations on your Golden Globe. Last week, wasn't it?
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Last week or the week before, I don't know, I had to fly...
0:23:21 > 0:23:24I came back here after Christmas...
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Is it easier to win an award or lose one
0:23:26 > 0:23:29in terms of getting your face right? I'm never quite sure.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32If you win, you've got to look proud, but not smug,
0:23:32 > 0:23:34and that's a tricky thing to do.
0:23:34 > 0:23:40- I've got a lot of practice at the losing face.- The losing face?- Yes.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42The camera sits at your table and stays on you
0:23:42 > 0:23:44and the guy's halfway through his speech
0:23:44 > 0:23:46and they still have a camera on you, so you...
0:23:46 > 0:23:48LAUGHTER
0:23:48 > 0:23:51He deserved it, yeah.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54We lost spectacularly last week to a programme called This Morning.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58- You know this?- No. - It's a programme...- Fix! Fix!
0:23:58 > 0:24:03Well, no, it's a programme where men put their fingers in other men.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06LAUGHTER
0:24:06 > 0:24:10They did! And as a result of that, we were blown out of the water.
0:24:10 > 0:24:14The viewing public likes that more. So well done, This Morning.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19You won your Golden Globe for Episodes.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21I don't know if anybody here has seen Episodes.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24- I think it is just brilliant. - Thank you.- You've just done the second series,
0:24:24 > 0:24:29- which is why you're here. - We finished a few days ago.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Talk us through the plot.
0:24:31 > 0:24:36OK, it's a show about a fictitious show that starts in the UK
0:24:36 > 0:24:40and it's bought by the American networks to be revamped and remade in the States.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43They promise them the world and one by one,
0:24:43 > 0:24:46every promise is broken, including the fact that they keep
0:24:46 > 0:24:51their lead actor played by Richard Griffiths and they tell him,
0:24:51 > 0:24:54"No, can't have him. You're going to hire Matt Le Blanc."
0:24:54 > 0:24:58So I play this weird, bizarre version of myself.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02Of course, Episodes has not yet become the huge hit.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05What you're best known for is... Well, I tell you what,
0:25:05 > 0:25:09let's show you a clip of you in your best role. Here it is.
0:25:09 > 0:25:13This is Bob Seger, obviously. Night Moves.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17This was the video shot in 1994, and if we look very carefully,
0:25:17 > 0:25:23here's the heroine and...whoa! Wait a minute! Who is that?!
0:25:26 > 0:25:29That was '94. Friends had already started in '94,
0:25:29 > 0:25:33so you were moonlighting in Seger videos.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36A friend of mine directed that and he called me
0:25:36 > 0:25:39and said, "Hey, I'm doing a video for Bob Seger for Night Moves.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42"Do you want to be the hero guy?" And I said, "Sure, yeah."
0:25:42 > 0:25:46So I go down there and they get in the little trailer to get ready,
0:25:46 > 0:25:49we're at this drive-in theatre, and someone knocks on the door
0:25:49 > 0:25:53and says, "Bob Seger would like to see you in his motor home."
0:25:53 > 0:25:56So I go over into the motor home and he starts talking me through
0:25:56 > 0:25:59what it was like when he was young and going to the drive-in
0:25:59 > 0:26:03and trying to pick up girls and he breaks out a bottle of tequila.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Next thing I know, we down a whole bottle of tequila,
0:26:06 > 0:26:10Bob Seger and I, and then they knock on the door,
0:26:10 > 0:26:13"Ready for you on set!" So I'm drunk in the whole video.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17And it wasn't just that. You were also in a Tom Petty video.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20Drunk in that one, too.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23- Drunk today? - Hmm, yeah.- A little bit.
0:26:23 > 0:26:29Now, cars. I know you are what we call a petrol head,
0:26:29 > 0:26:33I think you call a gear head. We know this... I've got an inkling of it,
0:26:33 > 0:26:36because when I was watching Episodes,
0:26:36 > 0:26:39we've got a clip here which gives us a bit of an insight.
0:26:39 > 0:26:40Let's just run this.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44- Tell me that's not yours! - You like?- Oh!
0:26:44 > 0:26:47- I read there was only three in the whole world.- Yes.
0:26:47 > 0:26:54- Me, the Sultan Of Brunei and some drug guy.- Oh, it's magnificent.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Here.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00- And that's while I was never picked. Really?- Go for it!
0:27:00 > 0:27:04I am SO happy.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Oh!
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Oh!
0:27:10 > 0:27:11Oh!
0:27:11 > 0:27:13- Get a room!- Can I?
0:27:13 > 0:27:15I wish I knew how to drive.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26That's an Alfa 8C convertible. That's a very rare car.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28You end up in an XK in that first series.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31Right. That was a funny story about that car because
0:27:31 > 0:27:35when they agreed to let us use it in the show, it hadn't been sold yet.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37By the time we needed it, someone had bought it,
0:27:37 > 0:27:41so it showed up with its own security team and everything else.
0:27:41 > 0:27:45- I got to drive it maybe five feet. - YOU did?- Yeah.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Steve drove it further than I did.
0:27:47 > 0:27:52This year, it's Ron Dennis's personal Mercedes SLR he loaned us.
0:27:52 > 0:27:56- What was that like?- I didn't get to drive that one either!
0:27:56 > 0:28:00You're the only one crazy enough to let me behind the wheel, apparently.
0:28:00 > 0:28:06- Now, your car history is chequered, isn't it?- At best, yes.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08You had an Audi 5000, which we'd call 100.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11That was the one that had the unintended acceleration stories.
0:28:11 > 0:28:15Yeah, not the one I had, but I heard about that.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18It was like a crap shoot.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21And then there was a Fiat X/19 that came,
0:28:21 > 0:28:24which is like a motorised vajazzle, I always think, the X1/9.
0:28:24 > 0:28:28Yeah, that was probably a mistake. I bought it at a used car lot.
0:28:28 > 0:28:31I was driving by and, you know, "Ooh!
0:28:31 > 0:28:34"That looks like a good waste of money right there."
0:28:34 > 0:28:37You used to have a Porsche Turbo, didn't you?
0:28:37 > 0:28:41Yeah, I had a 2000 996 turbo.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43As I understand it, you modified that,
0:28:43 > 0:28:45cos when we buy cars in Europe, BMWs or Porsches
0:28:45 > 0:28:48or whatever they might be, that's what they're like,
0:28:48 > 0:28:50whereas in the States,
0:28:50 > 0:28:53there seems to be a culture of you buy a car
0:28:53 > 0:28:56and then you take it to a shop and somebody tweaks it and fiddles with it.
0:28:56 > 0:29:00- Right.- Is that something you just feel you have to do?
0:29:00 > 0:29:05Well, for me, it's like, if someone who doesn't know anything about cars
0:29:05 > 0:29:07can just go down to the store and get the same car,
0:29:07 > 0:29:09that's not right.
0:29:09 > 0:29:13I mean, I love cars, so mine should go a LITTLE faster, I think.
0:29:13 > 0:29:15What did you do to the turbo?
0:29:15 > 0:29:18The turbo, I had a gimbal, a computer programme put in it
0:29:18 > 0:29:22and an exhaust, and tech art suspension loaded and then
0:29:22 > 0:29:26I took it in to have... The mass air sensor was starting to go.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29- This is probably super-boring for most people.- No, it isn't.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32This is Top Gear so for once, you are allowed to talk like this.
0:29:32 > 0:29:35The Tonight Show wouldn't let me talk about any of this!
0:29:35 > 0:29:37Are you a man who goes and drives on circuits?
0:29:37 > 0:29:41Occasionally, yeah, mostly with the bikes.
0:29:41 > 0:29:45- I know that's a sore subject with you.- No, you can talk about bikes. You've got three seconds.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49And they're up.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51So, have you ever driven round Laguna Seca,
0:29:51 > 0:29:54which is your nearest track, I guess?
0:29:54 > 0:29:57Yeah, Willow Springs is probably closer,
0:29:57 > 0:30:01but Laguna Sega is such a beautiful facility. You know, the Corkscrew there.
0:30:01 > 0:30:04The Corkscrew is a corner that I just find impossible
0:30:04 > 0:30:06to get round without crashing.
0:30:06 > 0:30:11Six stories I think it drops. It's left, right, it's six stories.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13Yeah, it's not my idea of fun. Our track is much easier.
0:30:13 > 0:30:18I know you took your trip down here quite seriously,
0:30:18 > 0:30:21because you told our researcher, you were asking about the Kia
0:30:21 > 0:30:25and the roll cage, which you said, "Ah, that'll make it more rigid."
0:30:25 > 0:30:28We've never had any of this before from a guest, somebody that keen.
0:30:28 > 0:30:31That's probably the best handling Kia there is.
0:30:31 > 0:30:35- Pretty nice little car.- Who here would like to see Matt's lap?
0:30:35 > 0:30:39- AUDIENCE CHEERS IN ASSENT Me too, yeah!- Let's have a look.
0:30:43 > 0:30:46Just don't use the brake as much, that's all.
0:30:46 > 0:30:49No, you're going to need the brakes there.
0:30:49 > 0:30:51Were you OK with having a stick-shift on your left?
0:30:51 > 0:30:54Yeah, I missed a couple of shifts here and there, but...
0:30:54 > 0:30:58- Well, that looks, that's the sort of tidy corner.- Sloppy at best.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01We're keeping it tidy through there.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04The more boring it looks, the faster it often is.
0:31:04 > 0:31:09That's, well, very boring indeed through there. Hammerhead.
0:31:09 > 0:31:13Almost got the front wheel off the ground there, but not quite.
0:31:13 > 0:31:16That's very tight on the way out.
0:31:20 > 0:31:22HE WHISTLES
0:31:22 > 0:31:25It was obviously boring you to death as well out there.
0:31:25 > 0:31:28Flat through there, yeah, no lifting.
0:31:31 > 0:31:34Your heart is beating once every three hours.
0:31:35 > 0:31:40You're going to cut this one. Yeah, that's very cut. Gambon, cut it.
0:31:42 > 0:31:45Oh, yes, very cut. And there we are, across the line.
0:31:52 > 0:31:56- What do you reckon?- Um...
0:31:56 > 0:32:01- Well, hopefully in the top half somewhere.- Hopefully in the top half.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04Well, often when laps look that drama-less, as it were,
0:32:04 > 0:32:06they can be quite fast.
0:32:06 > 0:32:11So there's the board. Rowan Atkinson currently leading 1.42.2.
0:32:11 > 0:32:14- That's quick. - Yes, 1.42.2 is unbelievably quick.
0:32:14 > 0:32:18Halfway would put you with Bob Geldof, 1.48.1.
0:32:18 > 0:32:22You did it, Matt Le Blanc, in one minute...
0:32:23 > 0:32:25..40...
0:32:27 > 0:32:29..two...
0:32:29 > 0:32:31AUDIENCE GASPS
0:32:31 > 0:32:32..one.
0:32:32 > 0:32:35RAPTUROUS CHEERING
0:32:41 > 0:32:44Fastest ever!
0:32:46 > 0:32:49- Fastest ever!- That's not bad.
0:32:53 > 0:32:54Now, moving on.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57There was a poll recently to find the most important
0:32:57 > 0:33:00car from the 20th century.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03And I went for the Golf GTI.
0:33:03 > 0:33:07Because it was fast, and practical, and classless.
0:33:07 > 0:33:11And it has been much the same story with all the models that have
0:33:11 > 0:33:13come along subsequently.
0:33:13 > 0:33:14But none of them
0:33:14 > 0:33:19have ever managed to capture somehow the magic of the original.
0:33:19 > 0:33:20Until now.
0:33:28 > 0:33:32Now, I'll admit, it is not actually a GTI.
0:33:32 > 0:33:36Or a Golf. Or even a Volkswagen.
0:33:36 > 0:33:41What it is is a BMW, the new 1M.
0:33:45 > 0:33:50What BMW has done to create this is take a standard One series
0:33:50 > 0:33:52and pump it up a bit.
0:33:52 > 0:33:54The wheel arches are flared.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56The car is slightly lowered and, at the back,
0:33:56 > 0:33:59there are extra poo chutes.
0:34:01 > 0:34:06Inside, there's a splash of suede on the dash with some orange stitching.
0:34:06 > 0:34:10Otherwise, it's humdrum. Normal. Not showy at all.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15Apart from the orange paint,
0:34:15 > 0:34:18you simply wouldn't guess that it can do this.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21ENGINE ROARS
0:34:24 > 0:34:27Oo-ooh! Whoo, yes!
0:34:28 > 0:34:30Blimey, this is good.
0:34:30 > 0:34:31HE CHUCKLES
0:34:33 > 0:34:35So, what have we got here?
0:34:35 > 0:34:38Well, there's a straight-six engine at the front...
0:34:39 > 0:34:43..a manual gearbox in the middle and drive goes to the back.
0:34:45 > 0:34:50That's page one, chapter one from the petrosexual handbook.
0:34:56 > 0:35:00It just feels so... beautifully balanced.
0:35:03 > 0:35:07Of course, all BMW M cars feel this way, they just feel...
0:35:07 > 0:35:12better than Mercs, better than Audis, better than pretty much anything.
0:35:14 > 0:35:18And just when you think it can't possibly get any better than this,
0:35:18 > 0:35:21you push the little M button on the steering wheel...
0:35:23 > 0:35:25..and the whole car shimmies.
0:35:25 > 0:35:27It's like a shiver of excitement.
0:35:27 > 0:35:35The feeling you get if someone suddenly gave you permission to set fire to Piers Morgan. Ooh, yes! Ooh!
0:35:38 > 0:35:41In M mode, it's even more of a tyre-smoking mentalist.
0:35:49 > 0:35:51Honestly, I haven't driven anything
0:35:51 > 0:35:54this sort of perfect since...
0:35:54 > 0:35:57I don't know, since the original Golf GTi, in fact.
0:36:02 > 0:36:09And what makes that quite surprising is that the 1M is like a turkey curry on Boxing Day.
0:36:09 > 0:36:12It's made from leftovers.
0:36:13 > 0:36:16The door mirrors are from the current M3,
0:36:16 > 0:36:20the rear axle is from the old one,
0:36:20 > 0:36:22the engine is from a Z4.
0:36:22 > 0:36:26It's a recipe that shouldn't work, but it does.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28As we shall now see.
0:36:30 > 0:36:38What we have here is a new, lighter, more powerful Porsche, the Cayman R.
0:36:38 > 0:36:43And this is the new supercharged Lotus Evora S.
0:36:43 > 0:36:47Both these no-compromise ground-huggers are purpose-built
0:36:47 > 0:36:53to go like hell, so they should cream the sit-up-and-beg Beemer.
0:36:53 > 0:36:58However, while the three-litre engine in this is from a Z4,
0:36:58 > 0:37:03it's boosted to 340 horsepower with two tiny little turbochargers.
0:37:10 > 0:37:13So, let's see how we get on.
0:37:24 > 0:37:29So, £50,000 Porsche, £60,000 Lotus,
0:37:29 > 0:37:36and the £40,000 BMW is showing them its many poo chutes! Ho-ho-ho!
0:37:42 > 0:37:45A bit depressing if you've just bought a Lotus.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50And there's more.
0:37:50 > 0:37:56The Porsche and the Lotus are effectively two-seaters and there's hardly any luggage space at all.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59You get the speed at a price.
0:37:59 > 0:38:03But there's no price to pay with the 1M.
0:38:03 > 0:38:09There's space in the back for two children, and room in the boot for two more.
0:38:09 > 0:38:12It's a family saloon.
0:38:14 > 0:38:22This, then, does to today's sports cars what the original Golf GTi did to the MG and the Triumph Spitfire.
0:38:22 > 0:38:25It renders them...pointless.
0:38:28 > 0:38:30Drawbacks?
0:38:31 > 0:38:34Pfff, erm...
0:38:34 > 0:38:40Maybe the sat-nav screen is a bit far away, and perhaps the ride
0:38:40 > 0:38:47is a tad firm, but that said it's not as uncomfortable as my AMG Mercedes.
0:38:47 > 0:38:52Actually, falling down a flight of stairs isn't as uncomfortable as my Mercedes.
0:38:52 > 0:38:57Sustained machine-gun fire would be better than popping to the shops in that.
0:38:58 > 0:39:03And anyway, you won't really notice the stiff suspension, partly because the seats
0:39:03 > 0:39:09are so comfortable and partly because you'll be having such a good time.
0:39:12 > 0:39:17This is a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant car.
0:39:19 > 0:39:23And that's all, really, I've got to say. The end.
0:39:42 > 0:39:45Now, in this country we like to do everything
0:39:45 > 0:39:49we possibly can to make life more pleasant for disabled people.
0:39:49 > 0:39:51We have pelican crossings that beep,
0:39:51 > 0:39:56and ramps in front of public buildings, and buses that kneel down.
0:39:56 > 0:39:59Yes, and there is even a range of off-road mobility scooters
0:39:59 > 0:40:03so people with disabilities can get into the countryside and do rambling.
0:40:03 > 0:40:07The problem is they don't look very off-roady to us.
0:40:07 > 0:40:10This is hardly a Toyota Land Cruiser, is it?
0:40:10 > 0:40:15- And they are fantastically expensive.- This one is £6,500.- Yes.
0:40:15 > 0:40:16And that gave us an idea.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19Could we do something genuinely worthwhile for once?
0:40:19 > 0:40:25Could we build an off-road mobility scooter that doesn't cost a fortune?
0:40:25 > 0:40:29Well, the producers told us we should go and do exactly that
0:40:29 > 0:40:34and then meet up in Wales for a series of tests.
0:40:34 > 0:40:36This is exactly the sort of damp,
0:40:36 > 0:40:40muddy countryside that ramblists love.
0:40:40 > 0:40:42Ideal conditions to test our machines.
0:40:44 > 0:40:48This is what I have created. I built this from two scooters,
0:40:48 > 0:40:51so I have ended up with two engines, four-wheel-drive -
0:40:51 > 0:40:54the four at the back - and four-wheel steering -
0:40:54 > 0:40:55the four at the front.
0:40:55 > 0:40:59It's got chunky off-road lawnmower tyres, a sound system,
0:40:59 > 0:41:04and binoculars for birdwatching. With that in mind, check this out.
0:41:04 > 0:41:08This is a hide that fits over the top of the scooter,
0:41:08 > 0:41:12so I can sneak up silently without frightening even
0:41:12 > 0:41:17the most timid birds, a bird such as the pied wagtail, and the...
0:41:18 > 0:41:20..the coot. Crikey!
0:41:22 > 0:41:24Stephen Hawking has arrived.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28- Were you not listening to the challenge?- Yes.
0:41:28 > 0:41:31It said, "mobility scooters, off-road".
0:41:31 > 0:41:34Well, forgive me for taking it maybe a bit too seriously,
0:41:34 > 0:41:36but as far as I can make out,
0:41:36 > 0:41:39mobility scooters are for people who have difficulty walking.
0:41:39 > 0:41:42I am concerned with people who have no choice but to be in this,
0:41:42 > 0:41:45which is a wheelchair.
0:41:45 > 0:41:49Why shouldn't people in wheelchairs be able to go rambling?
0:41:49 > 0:41:52Right. I was with some disabled children the other day
0:41:52 > 0:41:55and they are all confined to wheelchairs, all electric.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58And they all say they wished they were a bit more "spunky",
0:41:58 > 0:42:01was the word they used. "Fast" was actually the word they used.
0:42:01 > 0:42:04This isn't fast. But it is versatile. That is the idea.
0:42:04 > 0:42:07It can go anywhere. Once you get into the countryside...
0:42:07 > 0:42:10- Don't do that. - You have a coffee machine!
0:42:10 > 0:42:15Yes, I've got everything. I've got drinks, satnav and comms, an electronic tablet.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18- You mean an iPad?- Exactly.
0:42:19 > 0:42:20What's on the back?
0:42:20 > 0:42:24A gravel dispenser that puts gravel under the wheels. I got the idea from railways.
0:42:24 > 0:42:28- If you're a bit stuck... - What is this handle for?
0:42:28 > 0:42:31That is very clever, you see. When you are going up a steep part,
0:42:31 > 0:42:34but want to remain level, that changes the angle of seat.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37Then the peace of the morning was shattered
0:42:37 > 0:42:39by the arrival of the local boy.
0:42:39 > 0:42:41ENGINE RUMBLES
0:42:41 > 0:42:45- That is him making that noise, isn't it?- He looks like an idiot.
0:42:45 > 0:42:49He is an idiot. He has built a half-track.
0:42:49 > 0:42:51Hello!
0:42:52 > 0:42:53I know.
0:42:53 > 0:42:56Surely it is supposed to be A - electric,
0:42:56 > 0:42:58and B - not for invading France?
0:42:58 > 0:43:01Where did it say that it is supposed to be electric?
0:43:01 > 0:43:02Isn't it in the regulations?
0:43:02 > 0:43:05No, it isn't. Let me talk you through this.
0:43:05 > 0:43:08The chassis is composed of two different vehicles.
0:43:08 > 0:43:10A mobility trike here at the front end.
0:43:10 > 0:43:14Then it is mated to one of those powered wheelbarrows builders use
0:43:14 > 0:43:17for carting huge amounts of stuff over rugged terrain.
0:43:17 > 0:43:20Obviously that gives it tremendous off-road capability,
0:43:20 > 0:43:24- and in such an environment, you will need extras so I fitted a winch.- Yes.
0:43:24 > 0:43:28Not again! Have you mounted it to the front wings?
0:43:28 > 0:43:31No, it is to the chassis this time. I have learned.
0:43:31 > 0:43:32I have an inclinometer
0:43:32 > 0:43:36because this can achieve incredible angles of lean.
0:43:36 > 0:43:37This way and that way.
0:43:37 > 0:43:41- Jerry cans for extra fuel.- Can I just say - this is actually important -
0:43:41 > 0:43:44we not only had to build machines that worked better
0:43:44 > 0:43:48than what you could buy off-the-shelf off-road, but were cheaper.
0:43:48 > 0:43:53This is the most important thing. Mine, all in, £2,700.
0:43:53 > 0:43:56£2,400.
0:43:56 > 0:43:591,200 for the trike, 1,200 for the wheelbarrow,
0:43:59 > 0:44:01the rest was just sweat and work.
0:44:01 > 0:44:07- Interesting.- What was yours?- 2,000, so that represents a massive saving.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09There we are.
0:44:09 > 0:44:15If you were disabled and wanted to go into the countryside... Exactly.
0:44:15 > 0:44:19Obviously we would test our machines in the hills later
0:44:19 > 0:44:23but first we had to make sure they worked in town.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27This is very important.
0:44:27 > 0:44:30A Range Rover doesn't just work in the countryside.
0:44:30 > 0:44:34It has to work in the city as well. And so must this.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39LOUD RUMBLING
0:44:43 > 0:44:48I will do what I normally do in town which is go to the bakers'.
0:44:48 > 0:44:51Good morning. Do you have an iced finger?
0:44:53 > 0:44:56Morning.
0:44:56 > 0:45:00There are many regulations, as you would imagine,
0:45:00 > 0:45:03this being Britain, governing the use of mobility scooters,
0:45:03 > 0:45:06and this meets almost all of them.
0:45:06 > 0:45:11I am good for width, good for length, and good for speed.
0:45:11 > 0:45:15But I do have a problem with weight, and so does my scooter.
0:45:17 > 0:45:21Excuse me. I hate to do this, because...
0:45:21 > 0:45:25I am trying to get down there and I am a bit stuck. So sorry.
0:45:27 > 0:45:32Sorry, sorry. It is not quite as easy as it looks. Sorry. Goodbye.
0:45:32 > 0:45:34STAFF: Goodbye.
0:45:36 > 0:45:38Policeman. I have to be careful of the speed limit.
0:45:38 > 0:45:42I'm only allowed to do 4mph in built-up areas.
0:45:43 > 0:45:46- That is more than four! - Feel the speed!
0:45:46 > 0:45:49The speed!
0:45:49 > 0:45:514mph, officer.
0:45:51 > 0:45:53You look really uncomfortable.
0:45:53 > 0:45:55- It is my first time. - Well, there you go.
0:45:55 > 0:45:57I have done that a few times.
0:45:57 > 0:46:00- Your feet are going like this all the time, aren't they?- Yes.
0:46:00 > 0:46:03But it is all on this little wizard's hat thing.
0:46:03 > 0:46:08Just down there? Come on! All right. OK, OK.
0:46:08 > 0:46:12Three, two, one... Go!
0:46:12 > 0:46:13Ha!
0:46:15 > 0:46:16Oh, come on!
0:46:19 > 0:46:21That's all I've got.
0:46:21 > 0:46:25Here is the big test. Will it fit in a disabled lavatory?
0:46:26 > 0:46:28Yep.
0:46:28 > 0:46:29HE GASPS
0:46:29 > 0:46:32Morning. Just browsing.
0:46:33 > 0:46:36Oh, that's bad. Agh! I'm sorry!
0:46:36 > 0:46:39ENGINE ROARS
0:46:42 > 0:46:44Despite the mishaps...
0:46:46 > 0:46:51..we decided our machines worked well in an urban environment.
0:46:51 > 0:46:57So we headed back out to the fields, where my half-track was even better.
0:46:57 > 0:47:02It seems able to tackle quite steep slopes, which is potentially good.
0:47:02 > 0:47:06Easy. Plenty of torque from that petrol engine.
0:47:07 > 0:47:10Adaptive suspension is working. Look at that.
0:47:10 > 0:47:12That has just climbed up there as if it wasn't there.
0:47:12 > 0:47:16Check my wildlife screen. I think that is a blackbird.
0:47:16 > 0:47:19OK, I am driving now in stealth mode.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21Of course, you can't see that
0:47:21 > 0:47:25because I am so well camouflaged, and silent.
0:47:26 > 0:47:28I have to say the four-wheel-drive system
0:47:28 > 0:47:30is working magnificently well.
0:47:30 > 0:47:34The ride is good. The grip is good. I have built a Land Rover, here.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39Oh, no! I have run over my hide.
0:47:39 > 0:47:42Since the hide clearly needed more work...
0:47:42 > 0:47:44HE SHOUTS
0:47:44 > 0:47:45BLEEP!
0:47:45 > 0:47:50..the producers told me to get rid of it and then gave us a challenge.
0:47:50 > 0:47:52You will now report to...
0:47:53 > 0:47:56ATTEMPTS TO SAY WELSH PLACE NAME
0:47:56 > 0:47:57- No.- It's a Welsh name.
0:47:57 > 0:48:00CLARKSON GAGS IN ATTEMPT TO SAY NAME
0:48:00 > 0:48:03It is not clearing up, that, is it?
0:48:03 > 0:48:06...where you will take part in an off-road race.
0:48:06 > 0:48:09- Hey, hey!- Hang on. It gets worse.
0:48:09 > 0:48:13You will work as a team against a group of wounded servicemen
0:48:13 > 0:48:16who will be using the off-the-shelf off-road scooters.
0:48:18 > 0:48:21The terrain we would have to cross was brutal.
0:48:21 > 0:48:24Wet grass, mud and steep, wooded slopes.
0:48:24 > 0:48:28The finish line was on a mountain 3km away
0:48:28 > 0:48:31and this is who we were up against.
0:48:34 > 0:48:35You're Nick.
0:48:35 > 0:48:37- Mark.- Mark.
0:48:37 > 0:48:38- Ben.- Ben.
0:48:38 > 0:48:41So, let's just get the wounds worked out.
0:48:41 > 0:48:43- Spinal injuries.- Spinal injury.
0:48:43 > 0:48:46- Right leg blown, amputee. - Right leg... so that's nothing.
0:48:46 > 0:48:49- There's... - Yeah, kick as much as you want.
0:48:49 > 0:48:53- Gone. And you are? - Left arm, right leg.
0:48:53 > 0:48:57- Left arm, right leg?- Yeah. - How did you do that?
0:48:57 > 0:48:59As I was spinning down, I landed on the ground,
0:48:59 > 0:49:01landing on my arm first,
0:49:01 > 0:49:03- which just crumbled. - Was it a bomb?- Yeah.
0:49:03 > 0:49:06Despite their injuries, though, they were feeling confident.
0:49:06 > 0:49:09- Do you think you're going to beat us?- Definitely.- Yeah.
0:49:09 > 0:49:13- Just playing mental games with us, don't listen.- Put some beers in it.
0:49:13 > 0:49:16- All right then.- How many? - A case of beers.
0:49:16 > 0:49:18- A case of beers. - I was going to say three!- Cheers.
0:49:18 > 0:49:20A case of beers. A case of beers.
0:49:20 > 0:49:24'The military boys used their orienteering skills
0:49:24 > 0:49:27'to map out a manageable route for their scooters.'
0:49:27 > 0:49:32Take it easy on the rocky bit, then burn up when we can.
0:49:32 > 0:49:35'We, however, were so confident in our engineering,
0:49:35 > 0:49:38'we decided to go as the crow flies.'
0:49:38 > 0:49:42We're being started with a traditional Welsh hunting horn.
0:49:42 > 0:49:46REVVING
0:49:51 > 0:49:53FEEBLE TOOT
0:49:53 > 0:49:55- Go!- Yeah!
0:49:56 > 0:49:58Yes!
0:49:58 > 0:49:59Yes!
0:49:59 > 0:50:01Go, go, go.
0:50:03 > 0:50:07Come on! James, we're a team!
0:50:07 > 0:50:09This is full speed!
0:50:09 > 0:50:13I hate it when they make us do a race. I should have known.
0:50:13 > 0:50:14All right, boys?
0:50:14 > 0:50:16THEY LAUGH
0:50:16 > 0:50:19Let's get up this hill. Go, go, go.
0:50:20 > 0:50:24There's no question mine is faster than yours.
0:50:24 > 0:50:26And quieter. Ah!
0:50:26 > 0:50:29Ha, ha, ha!
0:50:29 > 0:50:31Oh, no, my steering's jammed.
0:50:31 > 0:50:34I'm losing traction completely.
0:50:34 > 0:50:37Go forward, go forward. Do a bit of convoy formation here, lads.
0:50:37 > 0:50:38- That's a good effort.- Go!
0:50:38 > 0:50:41Yes! All right, now I can just...
0:50:42 > 0:50:46..engage seat angle alteration.
0:50:50 > 0:50:52Oh.
0:50:52 > 0:50:56CHAIR BEEPING
0:50:56 > 0:51:01'While Sir Randolph May was stuck, I went to help the orang-utan.'
0:51:01 > 0:51:04Try and get the bodywork off the wheel.
0:51:04 > 0:51:07If you try and turn the wheel to the left.
0:51:07 > 0:51:10- This is teamwork now, isn't it? - We're actually doing teamwork.
0:51:10 > 0:51:12What am I thinking of?
0:51:12 > 0:51:14I've got my gravel system to deploy.
0:51:14 > 0:51:16Watch this.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19Pulling the string dispenses gravel from the hopper
0:51:19 > 0:51:22in front of the wheels, improving traction.
0:51:22 > 0:51:24Deploy...
0:51:27 > 0:51:28Hang a right.
0:51:28 > 0:51:30Right, go, go, go!
0:51:32 > 0:51:34Having mended Jeremy's scooter,
0:51:34 > 0:51:37Thunderbird One then had to rescue me.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes!
0:51:40 > 0:51:44- Oh, this is just...glorious. - Tremendous!
0:51:46 > 0:51:47Stop it.
0:51:49 > 0:51:51Ow!
0:51:59 > 0:52:01They're down there, look. There.
0:52:01 > 0:52:03WHISTLE
0:52:03 > 0:52:05- Losers.- How did you get there?
0:52:07 > 0:52:09We'll see you at the end.
0:52:09 > 0:52:12I feel a crate of beer coming on.
0:52:12 > 0:52:14Who the... Hammond!
0:52:14 > 0:52:15They're ahead of us!
0:52:15 > 0:52:17Go.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20Left here, Ben! Go on, go, go, go.
0:52:20 > 0:52:23'Worried by the progress of our rivals,
0:52:23 > 0:52:26'Hammond and I stopped to discuss our colleague.'
0:52:26 > 0:52:29I mean, look at him. He's pretty pointless.
0:52:29 > 0:52:31CHAIR BEEPING
0:52:31 > 0:52:32There is a bit of a...
0:52:32 > 0:52:34a bit of a rise in the terrain, there.
0:52:36 > 0:52:37Nope.
0:52:37 > 0:52:39CHAIR BEEPING
0:52:39 > 0:52:44- Do we, in these unique circumstances, merely leave him?- Mm-hm.
0:52:44 > 0:52:45Or shoot him and leave him?
0:52:45 > 0:52:48'Because we were working as a team,
0:52:48 > 0:52:51'we decided to just leave him.'
0:52:51 > 0:52:54I feel bad. I do. I feel bad.
0:52:54 > 0:52:56I'm getting better.
0:53:00 > 0:53:01Right...
0:53:01 > 0:53:03I think...that way.
0:53:05 > 0:53:08The Pro Rider Road King is doing well here.
0:53:08 > 0:53:11A moment of actual progress.
0:53:12 > 0:53:15Mate, we're rolling.
0:53:15 > 0:53:17'I was rolling, too,
0:53:17 > 0:53:20'and had left Jeremy far behind.'
0:53:20 > 0:53:22It's getting very muddy now, but that's OK.
0:53:22 > 0:53:26This is where tracks are absolutely perfect.
0:53:27 > 0:53:32JEREMY WHEEZES
0:53:33 > 0:53:37BANGING
0:53:39 > 0:53:42SCREAMS
0:53:42 > 0:53:44Bloody Nora!
0:53:44 > 0:53:46- Nav check.- Be careful, man.
0:53:46 > 0:53:49That was that road we saw on top of the ridge.
0:53:49 > 0:53:52We're doing well, we're doing well.
0:53:52 > 0:53:55- It's going to get tricky up there, them contour lines.- Yeah.
0:53:55 > 0:53:57Keep doing what we're doing.
0:53:58 > 0:54:01Sportster, this is Pro Rider Road King, come in.
0:54:01 > 0:54:04'I may need your winch a tiny bit.'
0:54:04 > 0:54:06Oh, God.
0:54:06 > 0:54:10'Once again, I had to abandon my pursuit of our rivals
0:54:10 > 0:54:12'to go and rescue the orang-utan.'
0:54:12 > 0:54:14What have you done?
0:54:14 > 0:54:16Let it rock.
0:54:16 > 0:54:17Go on!
0:54:18 > 0:54:20Yeah, that's much better.
0:54:20 > 0:54:22That isn't. Oh, no!
0:54:23 > 0:54:25Lovely jubbly!
0:54:25 > 0:54:28Go, go, go.
0:54:28 > 0:54:31'The Pro Rider was eventually righted.'
0:54:31 > 0:54:33Ha, ha, ha!
0:54:33 > 0:54:36'But this teamwork nonsense wasn't getting us anywhere.'
0:54:36 > 0:54:38Ram me.
0:54:44 > 0:54:45Jeremy...
0:54:45 > 0:54:48Go. It's going to be dark by the time I get there.
0:54:48 > 0:54:50- Mate, I'm going to.- Go.
0:54:50 > 0:54:54- Be the team.- For the team. - And beat the soldiers.
0:54:54 > 0:54:57- On the Top Gear thing that has suddenly become.- Yes.
0:54:57 > 0:55:00I'm not giving in, but I don't want you to wait any more.
0:55:02 > 0:55:04So long, Pro Rider.
0:55:04 > 0:55:07'Obviously, the servicemen were in the lead,
0:55:07 > 0:55:10'but they were still taking the long way round.'
0:55:10 > 0:55:13If I'm going to stand a chance of preserving my team's honour,
0:55:13 > 0:55:15I'm going to have to go straight up.
0:55:15 > 0:55:17Come on.
0:55:18 > 0:55:22'To help me, my rivals were starting to struggle.'
0:55:24 > 0:55:26Oh!
0:55:26 > 0:55:28Mate... And my leg's fallen off.
0:55:34 > 0:55:35We're through.
0:55:35 > 0:55:39Lesser vehicles would have been just stumped by that.
0:55:40 > 0:55:41- Are you stuck?- Agh!
0:55:41 > 0:55:43THUMP
0:55:43 > 0:55:45SIGHS
0:55:45 > 0:55:47Landed right on my GPS.
0:55:47 > 0:55:49LAUGHTER
0:55:49 > 0:55:52'Meanwhile, much further back...'
0:55:52 > 0:55:55Now that my weight is on the back wheels,
0:55:55 > 0:55:57I have traction.
0:55:57 > 0:55:59Oh, yeah.
0:55:59 > 0:56:01I'm surfing now.
0:56:01 > 0:56:03If we bend it outwards.
0:56:03 > 0:56:06'Mark's control panel had snapped off in the fall,
0:56:06 > 0:56:09'and getting it fixed again had cost them precious time.'
0:56:09 > 0:56:12- Did you hear that? - Yeah, I can hear some engine.
0:56:12 > 0:56:14- I can hear Hammond.- Hammond?
0:56:14 > 0:56:18- There's no- BLEEP- way he could have got up here that fast.- Go, go.
0:56:21 > 0:56:25Come on, don't stop, old Sportster!
0:56:25 > 0:56:28I've got to pick my lines, keep it as level as I can.
0:56:30 > 0:56:33- That's it, the summit's there. - That's it, that's the summit.
0:56:33 > 0:56:34Wahey!
0:56:34 > 0:56:36It's a race to the finish line.
0:56:38 > 0:56:40That's got to be the summit up there.
0:56:42 > 0:56:43Come on! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
0:56:45 > 0:56:46Last push now, boys.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51I'm going to make it!
0:56:51 > 0:56:55- Keep going, keep going.- Go, go, go. Last little bit.
0:56:56 > 0:56:58Yes! This is it.
0:56:58 > 0:57:00This is the summit.
0:57:00 > 0:57:01LAUGHS
0:57:02 > 0:57:04Oh.
0:57:05 > 0:57:08- All right, lads?- Welcome.
0:57:08 > 0:57:11- Well done, mate. - Well done, well done.
0:57:11 > 0:57:13It's just me.
0:57:13 > 0:57:16'Meanwhile, far, far away...'
0:57:16 > 0:57:18Now, look at this.
0:57:18 > 0:57:20It's a 17th-century pub.
0:57:20 > 0:57:22And look at that step there.
0:57:22 > 0:57:25If you were in a normal conventional electric wheelchair,
0:57:25 > 0:57:29that would be game over and no pint.
0:57:29 > 0:57:31But now, watch this.
0:57:33 > 0:57:34Full power.
0:57:37 > 0:57:38Hang on.
0:57:38 > 0:57:42CHAIR BEEPING
0:57:49 > 0:57:51Oh, cock.
0:57:51 > 0:57:52'Still, could be worse.'
0:57:54 > 0:57:56Fenton! Fenton!
0:57:58 > 0:58:00Fenton!
0:58:00 > 0:58:01Oh, Jesus Christ!
0:58:04 > 0:58:06APPLAUSE
0:58:06 > 0:58:08Mine was terrible.
0:58:08 > 0:58:11I'm glad I pushed it down the hill and made Fenton jokes about it.
0:58:11 > 0:58:15- Because it was rubbish.- I'm sorry. - What?- Mine was a lot worse.
0:58:15 > 0:58:17I don't know.
0:58:17 > 0:58:20- I have to say, mine was brilliant. - Er, it wasn't!- It was.
0:58:20 > 0:58:21I was the only one who made it.
0:58:21 > 0:58:23I don't think you were, Hammond,
0:58:23 > 0:58:25because you were beaten by these chaps.
0:58:25 > 0:58:26I was, I was.
0:58:26 > 0:58:29So, James, have you got something for them?
0:58:29 > 0:58:31Yes, it is an absolute pleasure, gentlemen,
0:58:31 > 0:58:33to give you, as promised, beer.
0:58:33 > 0:58:37- APPLAUSE Well done, guys.- Well done, chaps. You've earned it.
0:58:39 > 0:58:43Now, can I just ask, because, as you know,
0:58:43 > 0:58:46Top Gear is famous throughout the world for its consumer advice,
0:58:46 > 0:58:49so which one of these three would you say was the best?
0:58:49 > 0:58:51- This one wins hands down. - The trike?
0:58:51 > 0:58:54- But that's still expensive. What is it, five...- £5,000.
0:58:54 > 0:58:58- It's £5,000.- I think I've got the answer to this, actually.
0:58:58 > 0:59:01It's carmakers. Because you know how they are always branching out
0:59:01 > 0:59:03and they make things like trendy designer kettles
0:59:03 > 0:59:06and overpriced carbon-fibre mountain bikes,
0:59:06 > 0:59:09why don't they just stop all that and concentrate on making
0:59:09 > 0:59:12an affordable, off-road wheelchair or scooter that works?
0:59:12 > 0:59:15If you think about it, this is a really good idea.
0:59:15 > 0:59:18Carmakers making wheelchairs. It's a good idea.
0:59:18 > 0:59:21It is a good idea. And it's on Top Gear.
0:59:21 > 0:59:25And that IS a bombshell, so let's end, quickly. See you next week.
0:59:25 > 0:59:26Take care, good night!
0:59:28 > 0:59:32Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd.