0:00:21 > 0:00:25Now, as I'm sure we're all aware, Britain has started flooding
0:00:25 > 0:00:28quite often these days. A couple of reasons for this.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31One, a lot of people these days are buying Toyota Prius's
0:00:31 > 0:00:35which of course is pulling the world down and that's causing more rain.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40AND a lot of houses are being built on flood plains
0:00:40 > 0:00:42so there's nowhere for the water to go.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Yes, and because of this, we are
0:00:44 > 0:00:47forever seeing pictures of towns that have been flooded.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Tewkesbury, Haywards Heath, Doncaster, they've all been hit and whenever
0:00:50 > 0:00:55we look at these pictures, we can always see lots of marooned cars.
0:00:55 > 0:00:56And this got us thinking.
0:00:56 > 0:01:00Is there some simple way that cars could be kept mobile
0:01:00 > 0:01:04even when the street is under three feet of water?
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Now, obviously you can't simply fit an outboard motor to the back
0:01:07 > 0:01:10like we did with our cross-Channel Nissan pick-up truck
0:01:10 > 0:01:15because the propeller would snag submerged obstacles around towns,
0:01:15 > 0:01:19and you can't really use oars because that would be exhausting.
0:01:19 > 0:01:23Mm. It all looked hopeless, but then I had an idea.
0:01:34 > 0:01:40I think this is the ideal transport for a flooded town such as Doncaster
0:01:40 > 0:01:46or Tewkesbury because a hovercraft simply glides over road signs,
0:01:46 > 0:01:49railings, cows, just about everything, really.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Gentlemen, I give you...
0:01:57 > 0:01:59- the future.- Is it?
0:01:59 > 0:02:04Are you suggesting that if you live in a town that might flood,
0:02:04 > 0:02:07you go everywhere on a hovercraft in preparation for that day
0:02:07 > 0:02:09- when it does flood, IF it does.- No.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12OK, you have a hovercraft for when it floods, but I'm saying
0:02:12 > 0:02:16we put wheels on the bottom of this and then it's a normal car!
0:02:16 > 0:02:19No, it isn't! It's a hovercraft with wheels on the bottom.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21OR, this is my other plan.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25We get a car and turn it into a hovercraft like this.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27- Oh, for God's sake.- No, no.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30He's on to something, because, well, if you think about it,
0:02:30 > 0:02:32a car already has an engine and wheels
0:02:32 > 0:02:35and space for the passengers and space for the luggage
0:02:35 > 0:02:39so all you need to do is add to that another engine to provide
0:02:39 > 0:02:42- the lift and another engine to provide the thrust.- There you go.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44And some skirts around the bottom.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46It's going to have to be quite big, this car.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49There's a lot of big cars! Mercedes S-Class, that's big.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51- Rolls-Royce Phantom, that's massive.- It's expensive.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Maserati Quattroporte, you can pick those up for next to nothing.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57You could put three engines in that, skirts and everything.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00While Hammond went off to find a suitable car,
0:03:00 > 0:03:05I spent some time becoming even more expert at driving a hovercraft.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09Oh, that's... I wasn't expecting that.
0:03:09 > 0:03:13And James headed off to Top Gear's secret amphibious engineering centre
0:03:13 > 0:03:16in the Yorkshire town of Penistone.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Just off St Mary's Street, behind Tesco's.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24While Jeremy hangs around in the children's playground out there,
0:03:24 > 0:03:28I'll go through a few hovercraft absolute basics for you.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31If you imagine looking at it from the front, you have
0:03:31 > 0:03:33- this is very basic - a platform, you know,
0:03:33 > 0:03:35wherever you sit and all the rest.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39There's a huge fan inside which blows air downwards to form
0:03:39 > 0:03:42a cushion underneath.
0:03:42 > 0:03:43Now, the clever thing is,
0:03:43 > 0:03:47this is contained by a flexible skirt around the edge,
0:03:47 > 0:03:50and for this reason, it's sort of self-regulating because a
0:03:50 > 0:03:54certain amount of this cushion of air escapes out of the sides...
0:03:56 > 0:03:58..floating about pointlessly
0:03:58 > 0:04:00so propulsion you have generally another...
0:04:00 > 0:04:04Sadly, before James had a chance to finish his interesting lecture,
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Hammond arrived with his car.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21- It's not really a car, is it?- No!
0:04:21 > 0:04:24It's a Ford Transit van and it's perfect. Let me talk you through.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27OK, what we've got here at the front, an engine,
0:04:27 > 0:04:29to power the front wheels and drive it along.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33Behind that, seats, room for us. Behind that, room for our luggage.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Here, room for an engine to provide lift,
0:04:36 > 0:04:41and at the back, room for another engine to provide thrust.
0:04:41 > 0:04:42What?!
0:04:42 > 0:04:46It's practically a hovercraft already! I can see it! It's...
0:04:46 > 0:04:47It's what we need.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51'With the van parked in the workshop...'
0:04:51 > 0:04:52And stop.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58'Richard set to work mounting the two motorcycle engines that would
0:04:58 > 0:05:00'provide lift and thrust.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06I, meanwhile, was making good progress with the skirts,
0:05:06 > 0:05:08until the expert hover pilot arrived...
0:05:11 > 0:05:14- Sorry.- Thank you!
0:05:14 > 0:05:17'..and immediately started to complain that we wouldn't
0:05:17 > 0:05:19'have enough power.'
0:05:19 > 0:05:20THAT is not big enough.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22- It is!- It isn't, it's titchy.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25It's a 90 horsepower engine and this is doing just the lift.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29I've got another 90 horsepower engine to do the thrust. That's a lot.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- How much power has this got?- 35.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33- And that's got to do both the lift AND the thrust.- Yes.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34I've got two engines.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Well, fire it up and I'll show you what that can do.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- All done.- Right, now that's...
0:05:47 > 0:05:53- See?- So, we've got...- We've got many times that.- We've got 35 doing both.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57- You've got 180.- Yeah, exactly right. The equivalent of 180 to your 35.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00That is plenty.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02With the power issues settled, we went to work.
0:06:12 > 0:06:17Then, out on the proving ground, I uncovered a problem.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18What are you doing?
0:06:18 > 0:06:24Well, it turns out there are some surfaces where it doesn't work.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26It's all right on the wood and it's all right on the water.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28But this is because...think of scale.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32This is small, these rocks by comparison are enormous.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34If you scale that up,
0:06:34 > 0:06:36- a full size one would find this easy. - Well, if you think about it,
0:06:36 > 0:06:42our hovercraft is going to need to go over, you know, churches.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Not a whole church!
0:06:45 > 0:06:48But despite my concerns, the work continued.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54My plan is to drive the van normally from the normal seats over
0:06:54 > 0:06:58there and then you switch to THIS seat for hover mode.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Soon, the engines were fitted,
0:07:00 > 0:07:06unnecessarily heavy items had been removed, and our van was ready.
0:07:06 > 0:07:14DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:07:36 > 0:07:42- Gentlemen, Christopher Cockerell, Barnes Wallis...- Fred Whittle.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44- You mean Frank.- Whatever.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47They will all now be shivering in the cold dark
0:07:47 > 0:07:51- shadow of our magnificence. - It's utterly, utterly brilliant.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Let me talk you through this thing, because along the side
0:07:54 > 0:07:56you'll see here are the skirts ready to be deployed
0:07:56 > 0:07:57when we switch to hover mode.
0:07:57 > 0:08:02Then, at the back, if we look in here, you can see mounted amidships.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05That's the second engine that's powering the lift.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Here, at the back, the third engine. That's powering the thrust.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11The fans, the rudder. It's actually quite beautiful.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18BUT would it work?
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Well, to find out, we took it onto the streets of Penistone.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29What I think is critical is that for 364 days a year,
0:08:29 > 0:08:33- this has to just be a car, does it not?- Yep.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Just something you would use for shopping,
0:08:36 > 0:08:40taking the children to school, and it's absolutely perfect at that.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42I mean, we're driving around Penistone.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46And there's nothing to tell me there's anything unusual about this.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51What they don't realise is that when the River Penis
0:08:51 > 0:08:56- bursts its banks, we're ready, in a way that no-one else is.- Yep.
0:08:59 > 0:09:03Hey, what about a name? We haven't thought of a name.
0:09:03 > 0:09:04Bob.
0:09:04 > 0:09:10- Transit Fan.- Transit Fan? - Yeah.- I like that.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14OR, we could just call it the Hovervan.
0:09:14 > 0:09:15Hovervan sort of says what it does.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19- It does what it says on the tin, doesn't it?- Yeah, Hovervan!
0:09:20 > 0:09:24Having established that it worked well on the road,
0:09:24 > 0:09:27we found a nearby reservoir where we could test it on the water.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- This is ideal.- This will do.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38After just 90 minutes, the skirts were deployed,
0:09:38 > 0:09:41the engine waterproofing system was in place,
0:09:41 > 0:09:46and the three of us had ticked all the BBC health and safety boxes.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52- It's quite exciting.- It is, now I'm switching to the hover seat.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54I can't walk.
0:09:56 > 0:10:01As a massive crowd gathered, we began.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05- Richard Hammond.- Yes?! - Engage hover mode.- Oh, this is it!
0:10:05 > 0:10:08- Right, so this is the lift engine going on first.- Yes.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16- Yes!- We are rising!- We are in a hovercraft.- We are hovering.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19- Engage thrust mode!- Here we go.
0:10:22 > 0:10:28- Thrust engine is running!- Yes!- Oh!
0:10:30 > 0:10:37- I'm aware we're moving! We ARE moving.- Oh-ho-ho! It works!
0:10:37 > 0:10:41- We're going in.- And now the transition from land to water.
0:10:44 > 0:10:49- Oh, hang on.- More lift, Hammond, more lift! Hammond, more lift!
0:10:49 > 0:10:56- I'm giving it all it's got!- Hammond, more, more... Hammond, more lift!
0:11:03 > 0:11:09- Hang on!- Why did that happen? We've got to save it. Save it!
0:11:09 > 0:11:12- OK, we've got a bit of flooding back here.- A bit?
0:11:12 > 0:11:16When I say a bit, I mean quite a lot. Was that full power?
0:11:16 > 0:11:19- That was all it had! - You didn't give it enough lift.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22It was your controls. You went in quickly, it swamped.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26Right, and with that, back to the drawing board.
0:11:32 > 0:11:38This is the £650,000 Porsche 918. It is insanely fast.
0:11:38 > 0:11:43It's rammed full of technology and most importantly, it is a hybrid.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47In many ways then, exactly the same as the McLaren P1 that Jeremy
0:11:47 > 0:11:50fell in love with a few weeks back.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54- The big question though, is it any good?- No!
0:12:01 > 0:12:07When Jeremy tested the P1, he took it to the Spa racetrack in Belgium.
0:12:07 > 0:12:12My F1 track may not have that pedigree, but at this place,
0:12:12 > 0:12:15at least the fun doesn't stop when the sun goes down.
0:12:39 > 0:12:44The Abu Dhabi Circuit is also famed for having a 1.2KM straight,
0:12:44 > 0:12:48one of the longest anywhere. It seems like a good place to start.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50Let's make some noise.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Oh! That is breathtaking!
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Oh, ho-ho-ho!
0:13:06 > 0:13:109,000 rpm! Boom!
0:13:13 > 0:13:18Yah! Big speed, 280.
0:13:21 > 0:13:22Braking.
0:13:24 > 0:13:29Oh, that is acceleration unlike anything else.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31I know Jeremy's head was blown off by the speed of that P1
0:13:31 > 0:13:37but I absolutely cannot believe it felt any faster than this.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39It can't have done.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47Like the McLaren, the 918 has a joint strike force of petrol engine
0:13:47 > 0:13:50and electric motors working together.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56It's that electric power that gives it so much punch off the line.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03I have 500 ft-lbs of torque, at 800 rpm. 800!
0:14:03 > 0:14:09A 458 doesn't have 500 torques at any rpm! It just wakes up.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12It's like a sprinter, falling out of bed
0:14:12 > 0:14:14and going straight into a world record while all the others
0:14:14 > 0:14:18are still eating cornflakes and thinking about having a poo.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21The petrol engine, which sounds ungodly through those
0:14:21 > 0:14:29top mounted exhausts, is a 612 horsepower, 4.6 litre V8.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37On the topic of power and performance,
0:14:37 > 0:14:41the 918 and the P1 can trade punches all day long.
0:14:45 > 0:14:50The 918 can't match the P1's top speed, 218 compared to 211,
0:14:53 > 0:15:00but I get to 60 quicker. 2.6 seconds to his sluggish 2.8.
0:15:00 > 0:15:06I'm on 875 brake horsepower, the P1 has 903 but more torque.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13And on and on and on it goes. It's King Kong versus Godzilla.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27There are some areas though, where the
0:15:27 > 0:15:32918 definitely has the P1 on the ropes.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35It can retrieve energy generated by braking
0:15:35 > 0:15:38and feed it back into the batteries.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41The roof lifts out so you can enjoy some open-top cruising.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46And inside, you get some actual creature comforts
0:15:46 > 0:15:50like electric seats and an 11 speaker sound system.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54You don't get either of those on a P1.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57I'm not one to gloat but hello?
0:15:57 > 0:15:58Glove box! Yeah!
0:15:58 > 0:16:00And then this centre console from where
0:16:00 > 0:16:04I can control the top screen - that does many things up there,
0:16:04 > 0:16:06and then over 800 functions can be
0:16:06 > 0:16:10controlled from the touch-sensitive screen down here.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11Maybe I can go online
0:16:11 > 0:16:15and order Jeremy a set of spanners to adjust the seat on his P1.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Look up "old-fashioned" for me.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24In addition to the wealth of on-board amusements,
0:16:24 > 0:16:28the 918 also has many driving modes.
0:16:29 > 0:16:34Right now, I'm in fully electric mode
0:16:34 > 0:16:40and I can whisper around like this for 18 miles, compared to the P1's 7.
0:16:40 > 0:16:46But if I go down here, I can select hybrid, and that allows it to
0:16:46 > 0:16:50alternate between petrol and electric in the most efficient way.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54Or we've got sport mode, where we have petrol power all the time.
0:16:55 > 0:16:59BUT I'm here on this race track so let's go one further
0:16:59 > 0:17:03and put it in race mode.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Now, the petrol engine is top dog
0:17:08 > 0:17:11and the electric motors are acting as its wing.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15It's time to attack some corners.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Hell's bells!
0:17:25 > 0:17:27That grip!
0:17:33 > 0:17:38This thing corners and I'm going flat. Totally flat.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45And there's none of that bottom-clenching terror Jeremy
0:17:45 > 0:17:46talked about in the P1.
0:17:52 > 0:17:56Partly that's because where the P1 is rear drive only,
0:17:56 > 0:18:01the 918 has four wheel drive and four wheel steering.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06I think in essence, yes,
0:18:06 > 0:18:10the P1 is more proper fighter pilot seat-of-the-pants stuff,
0:18:10 > 0:18:13this is altogether more civilised,
0:18:13 > 0:18:16but that does not mean it's boring, because it just isn't.
0:18:19 > 0:18:25The back end breaks away like a rear wheel drive car.
0:18:29 > 0:18:30What a thing!
0:18:38 > 0:18:43But even though the 918 is more grown up than the P1,
0:18:43 > 0:18:46it can still boast some pretty exciting achievements.
0:18:48 > 0:18:53The fact is, this car has lapped the Nurburgring in six minutes,
0:18:53 > 0:18:5857 seconds. That's faster than any other road legal production car.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02To put it into context, a hardcore Lexus LFA did it in seven minutes,
0:19:02 > 0:19:0814 seconds. The mighty Nissan GT-R was almost half a minute slower.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11As for the P1, well, McLaren are saying it has gone
0:19:11 > 0:19:17round in under seven minutes, but they're not saying an actual time.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20I don't know, maybe they lost the piece of paper it was written on.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Or something.
0:19:39 > 0:19:44With daylight coming, I locked up, left the keys to the circuit
0:19:44 > 0:19:47under the mat, and went in search of breakfast.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54Full of awe for this incredible machine.
0:19:54 > 0:20:02Here I am with 875 BHP, a 4.6 litre V8 that sounds like that,
0:20:02 > 0:20:07and yet the CO2 emissions are lower than a Toyota Prius,
0:20:07 > 0:20:09and certainly much lower than a P1.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14I don't know, this is just all round a more impressive achievement.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16It's more of its time.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18To put it in another way,
0:20:18 > 0:20:23McLaren have used hybrid technology to liven up a supercar today.
0:20:23 > 0:20:28Porsche have used hybrid technology to save the supercar for tomorrow.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32This is an important car.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Benedict Cumberbatch!
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Hello.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54- Very well, very well.- Nice.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56- Nice to meet you. - Hello, hello, hello.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58- Have a seat!- Wow.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Wow wow wow. Thank you very much.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04Now, that was a welcome.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08That was a welcome from a lot of people who want to know
0:21:08 > 0:21:10how you're not dead.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Well, erm, when I jump off,
0:21:12 > 0:21:15there's a helicopter with Mycroft in it dressed as a woman
0:21:15 > 0:21:19and an inflatable skirt and then he takes a pill which basically
0:21:19 > 0:21:22means that the helicopter's... I'm not going to tell anyone. I can't.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Oh, no, I was really enjoying that.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Because it was obviously one of the most written about
0:21:28 > 0:21:31and talked about events in modern television history.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35And I wasn't here. I sort of missed it. The furore at home.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39I was abroad but I heard that it went on for weeks and...
0:21:39 > 0:21:44- You actually fell off a building and then you're not dead.- Yeah.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45We saw you dead but anyway,
0:21:45 > 0:21:48so, when do we find out how that had been achieved?
0:21:48 > 0:21:51I think it's going to be some time near the end of this year or
0:21:51 > 0:21:53the beginning of next year. That's what we're aiming for.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56- More recently, we've seen you in the new Star Trek movie.- Yeah.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00Do you find yourself being approached by those
0:22:00 > 0:22:02of a Trekkie disposition?
0:22:02 > 0:22:05The ones I have met are remarkably normal and it is a bit like
0:22:05 > 0:22:08- 'eh-erm, I'm quite a Trekkie fan actually.'- YOU are?
0:22:08 > 0:22:11- No, no, no, but that was me pretending to be one, but thank you. - Oh, OK.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14You're such a big actor that I thought you actually were one.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18I fooled you there, Jeremy, I fooled you there. I mean I wasn't actually.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19I wasn't a Trekkie. I watched the first film
0:22:19 > 0:22:21and was very into that
0:22:21 > 0:22:24and then I obviously did a little bit of research as far as what
0:22:24 > 0:22:27I was about to do in the canon and I really got into it.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28It was great to be part of it.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31Do you sometimes worry about saying that you like Star Trek?
0:22:31 > 0:22:35I've always liked it, ever since it was Kirk and Spock, Jean-Luc Picard.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38- Yeah, it's a great relationship. - Yeah.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41I don't see that relationship. What relationship?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Between Kirk and Spock and Bones. I think those three... No.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46If I talk about relationship between two men in a drama,
0:22:46 > 0:22:48- they're immediately at it. - Well, yeah.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51The worldwide interlie will basically go splat,
0:22:51 > 0:22:53there's a load of fan fiction which has me
0:22:53 > 0:22:57and John Watson floating in space on a bed handcuffed to one another.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02- Not just with handcuffs either. - I could write that tonight.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06- It would be fun. You're from an acting family.- I am.
0:23:06 > 0:23:10My mum and dad are both actors. Both actually.
0:23:10 > 0:23:11My car history sort of begins with them.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14- I was introduced into cars by them. - Well, that's interesting.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17- We've got a photograph of your mum here, look.- Yep.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21Now, my mum didn't have a car like that. That's quite cool.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24- It's very cool. - Is that from a Gerry Anderson show?
0:23:24 > 0:23:27- It is, it's from UFO, yeah.- No! She was in UFO?- Yeah, she was in UFO.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29So that obviously wasn't her car.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Er, no, but she did drive it and it was driveable.
0:23:31 > 0:23:36She had an MGT - an MGB I should say, a hatchback.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38- Not a hatchback, sorry, a soft top.- Yeah.
0:23:38 > 0:23:39But all cars before I was born.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41When I was born it got a bit sensible.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45She had a Mini, which was great, because that was my first car.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47- Was it?- Yeah. I borrowed my mother's Mini.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Your first car was a proper Mini then? Crash it?
0:23:49 > 0:23:53No, but I did reverse after a night out over a very
0:23:53 > 0:23:55large rock on a driveway and the gearstick just when 'phunk!'
0:23:55 > 0:23:58Right through the chassis of the car.
0:23:58 > 0:24:02- So, next car was a... - A Golf Mitsubishi Colt from 1982.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05- Hatchback white rust bucket. - A Golf?- Yeah.
0:24:05 > 0:24:06No, not a Golf, sorry, a Mitsubishi Colt.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- So your own GT and a Golf Mitsubishi.- Yep.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13I'm cross-splicing in some future world of cars.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16- Yeah, there's a lot of car jumbling up.- There is.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18It's a good job I don't do your job. I'd be rubbish at it.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Well, it's a good job I don't do yours,
0:24:20 > 0:24:24I've no idea how to fly a spaceship OR punch anyone, OR act.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- That can be taught. I got taught that.- What, how to punch?
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Yeah, Hollywood Fu, it was great fun.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Do you punch like... do you punch with that side of your hand?
0:24:32 > 0:24:35- What are you doing? - When you punch.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37You look like you're trying to wipe a windscreen or something.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40No, when you punch somebody. I've often... you sometimes...
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Well, normally you're quite tight and it's all from the waist but
0:24:43 > 0:24:46you have to sell it a bit more for cameras so you arc it round a bit.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48But why don't you just end up punching someone...
0:24:48 > 0:24:50Shall we try a fake punch?
0:24:50 > 0:24:52AUDIENCE: YEAH!
0:24:52 > 0:24:56- What if it turns into a real one? - Well, I'll give and you receive.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02I like being the dominant one. So, where's a... there's a camera.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04- Facing me would be good. - You're actually directing now.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06I'm facing you. Am I ready for this punch?
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Yeah, yeah, When I get to about there, you can move your head.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11But what if I don't?
0:25:12 > 0:25:15- I'm not going to do that.- Is anybody there? Your dry cleaning bills when
0:25:15 > 0:25:19- my nose just bursts... All right. - You ready?- Yes.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- OK, and...- Ooof!
0:25:22 > 0:25:26- Did that look good?- Did that look all right? He knows. They know.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Erm, we've had many actors on the show over the years sitting
0:25:32 > 0:25:36- there, but we've never had one who's been carjacked before.- Oh, really?
0:25:36 > 0:25:39- That's good.- It is, but you were genuinely carjacked.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42- I was genuinely carjacked, yeah. - How did it happen?
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Not a pleasant road trip. Erm, it was very scary.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48I mean I have to emphasise not just because I love South Africa
0:25:48 > 0:25:51and South Africans, but it was a small event in a very big country.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52We were very lucky.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55We were on a sort of bumpy dirt track and we got onto the M2,
0:25:55 > 0:25:58the sort of major trunk road down the east coast,
0:25:58 > 0:26:03and front right tyre blew and these guys surrounded us,
0:26:03 > 0:26:06stuff went on with belongings and we were pushed about a bit.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09I was put in the boot of the car though at one point
0:26:09 > 0:26:11and that was interesting.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13I thought "oh, maybe I could diffuse the break lights
0:26:13 > 0:26:14"and then a policeman..."
0:26:14 > 0:26:17No policemen in South Africa were going to pull over a car
0:26:17 > 0:26:21full of men at midnight to question a broken tail light.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23But it was very scary.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27And when they got you out again, did they not put a duvet over your head?
0:26:27 > 0:26:30At one point, stuff was being thrown out the car.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33We were underneath this underpass and these juggernauts were just
0:26:33 > 0:26:37charging over and the sound cover would be sort of perfect for a quiet
0:26:37 > 0:26:40pop, then this duvet got thrown out and just went over our head.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42I thought again, it's just the pillow thing.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44It's going to be a muffler for a gunshot.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47So, I kind of came to terms with mortality
0:26:47 > 0:26:51and dying on my own about four times in the space of half an hour.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53And the whole thing went on for about two hours.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55- But we mustn't put people off South Africa.- No.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58- It's a big, beautiful place.- It is. So we can just ignore all that.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Yeah, cut it. Cut that.
0:27:00 > 0:27:04- Anyway, so, you came down here to do your lap.- Oh,- BLEEP.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08- And how was it out there? - It was really good fun.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10I mean, the first couple of laps, I couldn't see
0:27:10 > 0:27:12the wood for the trees, but then as it went on, I think I got...
0:27:12 > 0:27:15I bettered my times later on, so I was obviously learning something.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18- How do you know? - People would go "hmm!".
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Oh, just from people's "hmm!" face.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24I'm told you did more laps than any guest we've had down here for years.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28- Oh, that's so shaming!- Who would like to see the fastest lap?
0:27:28 > 0:27:30AUDIENCE: YES!
0:27:30 > 0:27:33- Let's have a look.- OK.
0:27:33 > 0:27:34Oh, yes.
0:27:36 > 0:27:40- We are away.- Yippee-ki-yay,- BLEEP!
0:27:41 > 0:27:43A fan of The Hangover is here.
0:27:44 > 0:27:48Look at it grip the mighty tech line with a lifetime warranty.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54- That's not bad.- Is that all right? - Yeah, that's great.
0:27:54 > 0:27:58It is hot in here. That's no excuse, come on.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01- Did he have the air conditioning off or on?- No, off.- Off, good man!
0:28:01 > 0:28:04Really trying... bit wide through there, maybe costing half a second.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Gear change, gear change, gear change, gear change.
0:28:07 > 0:28:13- Boom.- Yeah, like the Sundance Kid there. Very quick mover.- Oh, God.
0:28:14 > 0:28:18Hmm, a bit slow but at least not skidding about.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21You haven't really used all of the track or indeed any of it.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24- AS OBI-WAN KENOBI:- Use the track, Benedict.
0:28:26 > 0:28:30Ladies and gentlemen, Alec Guinness in the reasonably priced car.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33Moved those, that was well done.
0:28:33 > 0:28:36- And now, here it is, second to last corner.- Oh, holy crap.
0:28:36 > 0:28:39- This is scary.- No. That is pretty much perfect.- Is it?
0:28:39 > 0:28:42That really is perfect. Gambon. Oh, fast.
0:28:42 > 0:28:46Oh, fast but not Jimmy Carr, across the line!
0:28:49 > 0:28:53- Ah, not bad.- That looks all right. That looked all right.
0:28:56 > 0:28:57These are the times we have
0:28:57 > 0:29:00- so far in our new reasonably priced car.- Oh, crikey.
0:29:00 > 0:29:04- Where do we think? - I don't know, I don't know.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06Maybe faster than Warwick. I'd be happy with that.
0:29:06 > 0:29:11- Faster than Warwick at 146.8, that's where you're aiming.- I don't know.
0:29:11 > 0:29:12That's very high, isn't it?
0:29:12 > 0:29:15Benedict Cumberbatch, you are leaning forwards.
0:29:17 > 0:29:20Won't make my time faster, will it?
0:29:20 > 0:29:24- I haven't got much space left on here.- Then shorten the time.
0:29:25 > 0:29:26You did it in one-
0:29:28 > 0:29:2940-
0:29:35 > 0:29:37seven...
0:29:37 > 0:29:42- point eight.- Oh.- So you're not faster but you did go...
0:29:42 > 0:29:45That's all right. That's OK.
0:29:46 > 0:29:49- I can live with that. - It's in the middle.
0:29:49 > 0:29:53What I've got here is a list of all the other people who've
0:29:53 > 0:29:56appeared on Star Trek and if it makes you feel any better,
0:29:56 > 0:30:00- Jean-Luc Picard, 1.50, dead. - Oh, dear.
0:30:00 > 0:30:04So, you're faster than he was. But the previous baddie in the last
0:30:04 > 0:30:09- film, Eric Bana, 1.47.5, and that was in the wet.- Wow.
0:30:09 > 0:30:10So Eric Bana is faster.
0:30:10 > 0:30:13I can't really find any comfort at all for you.
0:30:13 > 0:30:14You've got to invite me back.
0:30:14 > 0:30:18- I've basically brought you down here and ruined your day.- Yeah, yeah.
0:30:18 > 0:30:19Well, I do apologise for that
0:30:19 > 0:30:22because it has been an enormous pleasure having you.
0:30:22 > 0:30:24- Likewise, thank you very much. - Best of luck with the new Sherlock.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26Ladies and gentlemen, Benedict Cumberbatch.
0:30:26 > 0:30:29Thanks, everyone.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36Now, for three years,
0:30:36 > 0:30:40we've known that Jaguar was working on a new small sports car.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42We've known that it's going to be called the F-Type,
0:30:42 > 0:30:45but we had a pretty good idea of what it would be like.
0:30:45 > 0:30:49Yeah, we knew that it would be quiet and comfortable and restrained
0:30:49 > 0:30:52and that the interior would be full of traditional leather
0:30:52 > 0:30:55and wood and moss.
0:30:55 > 0:30:56So, were we right?
0:31:20 > 0:31:25In short, no. We were NOT right.
0:31:33 > 0:31:40It's an X-rated, hardcore monster for the terminally unhinged.
0:31:46 > 0:31:50It's got such a wide range of intoxicating noises!
0:31:50 > 0:31:53When you change up, it snorts like a hippo,
0:31:56 > 0:32:03and then when you put your foot down, it bellows, and THEN when you take it off again...
0:32:03 > 0:32:06Honestly, have you ever heard a soundtrack like that?
0:32:08 > 0:32:12THAT is the sound of the '60s, right there.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18And if you push this little button here,
0:32:18 > 0:32:23you engage the sports exhaust system, which makes it even louder!
0:32:30 > 0:32:32It's not all bark and no bite either.
0:32:33 > 0:32:37The 3 litre V6 engine is supercharged,
0:32:37 > 0:32:42and delivers 375 fire-spitting horsepowers.
0:32:43 > 0:32:50Does 0-60 in 4.8 seconds. Top speed? 171.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00And THIS isn't even the fast version.
0:33:02 > 0:33:06If you want, Jaguar will sell you a 488 horsepower V8.
0:33:07 > 0:33:11I wouldn't bother though, because at no point while I've been driving
0:33:11 > 0:33:15this have I thought "yeah, but I wish it was a bit more exciting."
0:33:20 > 0:33:24Now, you would imagine that a car this loud and this brutal
0:33:24 > 0:33:28wouldn't be as luxurious as a Methodist's coal house. But no.
0:33:39 > 0:33:43The roof can be raised or lowered, even when you're going at 30mph.
0:33:46 > 0:33:51The switches are bronzed. The seats are electric.
0:33:56 > 0:34:01And you can choose what shade of mood lighting you'd like.
0:34:05 > 0:34:07The interior then, is nicely thought out,
0:34:07 > 0:34:11but it is NOTHING compared to the exterior.
0:34:14 > 0:34:18I think this is one of the best looking cars ever made.
0:34:22 > 0:34:27So, it's beautiful and mad and thrilling and loud,
0:34:27 > 0:34:30and there's more.
0:34:30 > 0:34:34A lot of cars these days feel like laptops, but this doesn't.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36Yes, you can go into the computer
0:34:36 > 0:34:39and alter the characteristics of the gearbox and the engine
0:34:39 > 0:34:42and the steering and the suspension, but that said,
0:34:42 > 0:34:47there's no double clutch gearbox, it's just a smooth eight-speed auto.
0:34:47 > 0:34:49There's no six-way traction control,
0:34:49 > 0:34:52there's no complicated folding metal roof.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54It's much simpler than that.
0:34:56 > 0:35:01Engine at the front, drive to the rear, and a big smiling piece of meat in the middle.
0:35:06 > 0:35:11The chassis is epic, and so are the brakes, and so is the steering.
0:35:11 > 0:35:14And you've got tonnes of locks so if you do get it out of shape,
0:35:14 > 0:35:16it's easy to get it back again.
0:35:18 > 0:35:22In many ways, it puts me in mind of a BMW M3
0:35:22 > 0:35:25and that is high praise.
0:35:28 > 0:35:32Except it's not a BMW. It's a Jag.
0:35:35 > 0:35:39And I wish I could end it there, but unfortunately,
0:35:39 > 0:35:42there are one or two issues that need mentioning.
0:35:51 > 0:35:53Just done my weekly shop.
0:35:53 > 0:35:59I bought some jam, some milk,
0:36:01 > 0:36:05some sugar, and some butter.
0:36:06 > 0:36:10Sadly, I wasn't able to buy any more than that, because if you
0:36:10 > 0:36:16buy your Jag with a spare wheel, THIS is what the boot looks like.
0:36:18 > 0:36:23How could they have a meeting and decide that THAT was acceptable?
0:36:23 > 0:36:28It's just madness! AND there's another problem. The price.
0:36:30 > 0:36:35I was expecting the V6 version to cost around £50,000.
0:36:35 > 0:36:40But actually, it's almost £68,000,
0:36:40 > 0:36:43and the V8 is an eye-watering £80,000.
0:36:45 > 0:36:50But the biggest problem by a country mile is the ride.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53This road appears to be completely smooth,
0:36:53 > 0:36:55but it feels like I'm driving....
0:36:55 > 0:36:56Not driving,
0:36:56 > 0:37:01it feels like I'm roller skating over a piece of corrugated iron.
0:37:01 > 0:37:02It's just oh-oh-oh,
0:37:02 > 0:37:05and it's even worse when you're going slowly in a town.
0:37:05 > 0:37:11That's just unbearably harsh! And there's no need for it!
0:37:11 > 0:37:15When you've got a chassis this good, you don't need hard suspension.
0:37:15 > 0:37:17What were they thinking of?!
0:37:25 > 0:37:30Happily, however, the ride does get better the faster you go,
0:37:30 > 0:37:35which means there is a way round the problem.
0:37:35 > 0:37:37Don't drive slowly...
0:37:38 > 0:37:40Drive fast.
0:37:45 > 0:37:51Let's be honest, in a car that looks this good and sounds this fantastic,
0:37:51 > 0:37:55and goes this well, that's no hardship.
0:38:00 > 0:38:02That is no hardship at all.
0:38:16 > 0:38:21Now, earlier on, we built a Hovervan which sank.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23Yeah, it worked perfectly well as a van,
0:38:23 > 0:38:26it just didn't really work as a hovercraft.
0:38:26 > 0:38:28But no-matter, because we've had another go,
0:38:28 > 0:38:30ladies and gentlemen, and here it is!
0:38:34 > 0:38:40Now, in the back, I have replaced the two 90 horsepower engines with these.
0:38:40 > 0:38:44For the lift, we have the engine from a Yamaha R1 superbike, and for
0:38:44 > 0:38:50the thrust, a compact, lightweight 2.4 litre V8 from a radical track car.
0:38:50 > 0:38:53All of which means, in the back of this van,
0:38:53 > 0:38:58- there is now 600 horsepower.- Oh, yes.
0:38:58 > 0:39:01I, meanwhile, have been fitting these new, bigger,
0:39:01 > 0:39:07tougher skirts which you just lower in a jiffy like so.
0:39:07 > 0:39:10And I've also added on top of those,
0:39:10 > 0:39:11these inflatable rubber tubes
0:39:11 > 0:39:13which make it a bit less sinky.
0:39:22 > 0:39:26We're so confident that the mark two Hovervan will work that we
0:39:26 > 0:39:31shall be testing it in our home clothes, but not on a reservoir.
0:39:31 > 0:39:36Instead, we shall be testing it here, on the mighty Avon.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41With overhanging branches, submerged shopping trolleys
0:39:41 > 0:39:42and many obstacles,
0:39:42 > 0:39:46the Avon more realistically represents a flooded street.
0:39:47 > 0:39:50If our van works here, it will work in your town,
0:39:50 > 0:39:57when the torrent comes. Right, listen. I'm going to drive.
0:39:57 > 0:40:00- Hammond, you're in charge of the engine room.- Right.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02And James, you're the navigator.
0:40:04 > 0:40:05Brimming with confidence,
0:40:05 > 0:40:09we initiated the launch procedure.
0:40:09 > 0:40:11Fire up the lift engine!
0:40:11 > 0:40:12Aye aye, Clarkson.
0:40:18 > 0:40:22- Fire up the thrust engine.- I love all the things we have to say. I love that. Right.
0:40:22 > 0:40:25Here it comes. I'll give it a bit of juice.
0:40:30 > 0:40:32You have it, you have thrust.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40- And we're moving! We are going! - No, we're going right! Go left!
0:40:40 > 0:40:44- We're going sideways!- Go to port! Here we go!- 600 horsepower.
0:40:44 > 0:40:51- Unleash it!- Here we go.- Oh, my God. - Whoa!- Wow!- Navigating thrust.
0:40:51 > 0:40:56- It works!- It only flipping works...! - We're afloat, oh,- BLEEP- I'm drowning!
0:40:56 > 0:40:58- There is quite a lot of water coming in.- I'm turning it!
0:40:58 > 0:41:01- Windscreen wipers.- Turn more or we're going to hit the bank!
0:41:01 > 0:41:04- Hard to starboard. Hard to starboard.- Jeremy, turn right!
0:41:04 > 0:41:09- Turn right!- You can't do that! - Of course it can!- We're crashing!
0:41:09 > 0:41:13- We've crashed!- Full thrust. We're a bit stuck.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15This is the sort of practice you should have been doing
0:41:15 > 0:41:18while we were busy fitting engines and building this thing.
0:41:18 > 0:41:22In my defence, hovercrafts have no brakes, no reverse,
0:41:22 > 0:41:26extremely haphazard steering, and if you cut the lift engine,
0:41:26 > 0:41:29it can't be restarted on water.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31- You're heading for the other bank now.- Ready?
0:41:31 > 0:41:33I'm coming back on the power!
0:41:33 > 0:41:37- Aaaargh! No! Crash!- Come on!
0:41:37 > 0:41:38Steer that way!
0:41:40 > 0:41:43- This river's too narrow. - Well, it's river-shaped.
0:41:43 > 0:41:45They tend to be long and thin.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47Here we go, I'm going to give it full beans for a turn.
0:41:47 > 0:41:51Too much, too much! Our bits are working. Steer it!
0:41:51 > 0:41:56- James, I am one of the world's best hovercrafters.- I can see that!
0:41:56 > 0:42:01- Is that why we're in a nettle bush? - Oh, yes. Oh-ho! Look at that!
0:42:03 > 0:42:10- There's a man fishing. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's all...- Tree! Tree!
0:42:10 > 0:42:17- Tree!- Oh, huge tree.- Aaarrrghhh! - There's no brakes! Relax!
0:42:17 > 0:42:20- What have we got to be bloody worried about?- We're in the trees!
0:42:20 > 0:42:27- How can that be in the van?! Argh! Crash!- Oh, no, we broke the window.
0:42:27 > 0:42:32- For God's sake, Clarkson!- We've actually broken the windscreen.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35- Yes, you have.- You've made a complete horse's arse of that!
0:42:35 > 0:42:39We can edit this out. Nobody need know this has happened.
0:42:39 > 0:42:43- Is there a boat hook, James?- Yes. - Push us off.- I'll come over.
0:42:43 > 0:42:47- You keep an eye on that. Don't let it go over eight.- Eight?
0:42:47 > 0:42:51Mind your elbow! Your elbow nearly killed the lift. Push!
0:42:53 > 0:42:58- That's more like it.- That's it. - There you go. Go, go, go, go, go!
0:42:58 > 0:43:05- Wipers, James, wipers! - They're broken.- Richard?- Yes?
0:43:05 > 0:43:09- I think I've got the hang of it now. - Brilliant, well, let's go refuel.
0:43:09 > 0:43:13- What?!- What?!- We're going to stop for fuel. We're running out.
0:43:13 > 0:43:14We've only been going ten minutes!
0:43:14 > 0:43:16Well, yeah, I know, but we've used it all.
0:43:16 > 0:43:19There's 600 horsepower back there, it needs a lot of fuel.
0:43:19 > 0:43:23- How big's the tank? - Two gallons.- Two?!- Yeah.
0:43:25 > 0:43:28On that bombshell, we headed back to the bank.
0:43:28 > 0:43:31Hammond, get ready to kill those engines and James,
0:43:31 > 0:43:36get ready to start up the other one. Hammond, kill the engines now! Kill!
0:43:36 > 0:43:40- Killed.- Road engine's not starting. - What?!
0:43:40 > 0:43:42- WHY is the starter not working? - Because it's wet.
0:43:42 > 0:43:46- Why didn't you waterproof it?- Well, I didn't...- Why are we still shouting?
0:43:48 > 0:43:51Fortunately, getting it out of the water was no bother at all.
0:43:59 > 0:44:03But as we were refuelling, we received an unpleasant surprise.
0:44:05 > 0:44:10- Hammond?- What? - It's the gold envelope.- What?
0:44:10 > 0:44:12I wasn't expecting...
0:44:12 > 0:44:17"You will drive your Hovervan from here in Stratford-Upon-Avon to
0:44:17 > 0:44:21"Tewkesbury, one of the most frequently flooded towns in the UK.
0:44:21 > 0:44:24"Once there, you will show off your invention to the local residents."
0:44:24 > 0:44:29- How far is that? - It's got to be 50 miles.- 50?!
0:44:29 > 0:44:35- How far have we just done?- 50 yards? - It's a lot of refuelling.- Er, right.
0:44:39 > 0:44:40'Having saddled up...'
0:44:40 > 0:44:43I feel like Daisy Duke.
0:44:43 > 0:44:45'..we set off for Tewkesbury.'
0:44:45 > 0:44:52Engaging power to do a full left turn. Oh, are we good or what?
0:44:54 > 0:44:58Excellent work. Continue as you are, Captain Clarkson.
0:44:58 > 0:45:02It feels good every time! I love this!
0:45:02 > 0:45:03This is a great machine.
0:45:03 > 0:45:06It's a brilliant machine, I mean it really is.
0:45:06 > 0:45:09With everything going well, we settled down for what
0:45:09 > 0:45:12we hoped would be an uneventful maiden voyage.
0:45:22 > 0:45:26BUT as we arrived in the tranquil suburbs of the historical
0:45:26 > 0:45:28Stratford-Upon-Avon,
0:45:28 > 0:45:31we became conscious that there was an issue with noise.
0:45:37 > 0:45:42- And then, there was the spray. - Bend to the left.
0:45:44 > 0:45:49Sorry, everybody, I do apologise. I'm so sorry. Sorry!
0:45:51 > 0:45:54- How far have we come so far? - 300 yards.- Excellent.
0:45:54 > 0:45:57- How long's it taken? - Er, about 20 minutes.
0:46:03 > 0:46:06Eventually, we arrived in the centre of Stratford,
0:46:06 > 0:46:09and encountered our first obstacle.
0:46:13 > 0:46:18- At the bridge, you need to know that the bridge is from 1480.- Yep.
0:46:18 > 0:46:24- Grade 1 listed, so don't break it. - Here we go. Wipers. Look out for...
0:46:24 > 0:46:27- Oh, yes! This is actually working! - No, it's not. You're going to hit it.
0:46:27 > 0:46:30- We've crashed. We've crashed a bit. - The priceless bridge.
0:46:30 > 0:46:33You're almost there. I'm bloody drenched, you idiot.
0:46:34 > 0:46:36Having made a bit of a mess of THAT bridge,
0:46:36 > 0:46:40I came up with a cunning plan for the next one.
0:46:40 > 0:46:43I'm aiming for the "no entry" on the basis that the hovercraft...
0:46:43 > 0:46:45That's the last place you'll go.
0:46:45 > 0:46:49No, if you aim for something, you'll not go there.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52'Unfortunately, my plan didn't work.'
0:46:52 > 0:46:54It's gone where I aimed it!
0:46:54 > 0:46:57- Yeah, but is it going to clear it? - I'm not...- Oh, my God.- Oh, oh, oh...
0:46:57 > 0:46:59Oh, it's going to get a bit scrapey!
0:46:59 > 0:47:02Oh. My God, it's going to bring us down.
0:47:02 > 0:47:06Give it the beans, give it the beans!
0:47:06 > 0:47:09- That's amazing!- We did a thing!
0:47:09 > 0:47:15- We did a thing!- Look at... Oh, God. Rowers.- Concentrate!
0:47:16 > 0:47:19- Left, left, left!- Oh, jings! There's a man in a boat!
0:47:19 > 0:47:21- Yeah, you've got to miss him! - There's a man in a boat!
0:47:21 > 0:47:26- Oh, look, that's the RSC.- There's a man in a boat!- Miss him! Left, left!
0:47:26 > 0:47:32- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.- Where is he?
0:47:32 > 0:47:35- He's here, he's here.- Oh.
0:47:35 > 0:47:38- Sir, I'm really sorry. - Sorry.- Sorry, mate.
0:47:40 > 0:47:42We're probably not that welcome here.
0:47:43 > 0:47:47We therefore decided it would be best to get out of town.
0:47:49 > 0:47:54But, in our haste, we became tangled in the wash from the camera boat.
0:47:54 > 0:47:57This is not good. We've lost all steering.
0:47:57 > 0:48:01- We are in deep- BLEEP- here. - Brace, brace, brace.- Brace, brace.
0:48:03 > 0:48:10- Hold tight, hold tight. Kill, kill, kill.- What happened?
0:48:10 > 0:48:13The thing with hovercrafting is it's "brilliant, brilliant,
0:48:13 > 0:48:14- "brilliant, disaster."- Yeah.
0:48:17 > 0:48:20'Having apologised to the owners of the boats we'd hit,
0:48:20 > 0:48:23'and the man who'd fallen in...'
0:48:23 > 0:48:26- James May, consult the map. Which way?- To the left?
0:48:26 > 0:48:30'..we refuelled and were soon on the move again.
0:48:30 > 0:48:35'And in the next village, we decided to stop for some lunch.'
0:48:35 > 0:48:39I see a rather nice little restaurant here. Yes!
0:48:39 > 0:48:43Check this out! "Private mooring for use by restaurant customers only."
0:48:43 > 0:48:47- But we are restaurant customers, so we can.- We're coming for lunch!
0:48:47 > 0:48:52At this point, we discovered that Jeremy hadn't learned how to park.
0:48:52 > 0:48:55There we go. Oh, God, hang on!
0:49:01 > 0:49:04- No, no, no.- Missed again! - Wrong, wrong!
0:49:06 > 0:49:08I think you've overdone it.
0:49:08 > 0:49:10Which way are you going to park?
0:49:10 > 0:49:14- Why can't you just park it, for God's sake?!- Sorry.- Sorry, sorry.
0:49:14 > 0:49:19- Oh, I'm not hungry.- Why don't we just make a sign that says "sorry"?
0:49:22 > 0:49:25We decided to abandon lunch at this point and instead...
0:49:28 > 0:49:32see how fast our Hovervan could run away.
0:49:32 > 0:49:34OK, Hammond, give me a read-out on the thrust.
0:49:34 > 0:49:357,500. 8,000.
0:49:39 > 0:49:42We are seriously moving now, gentlemen!
0:49:44 > 0:49:45James, how fast are we going?
0:49:45 > 0:49:48I can work it out with this piece of knotted rope
0:49:48 > 0:49:51- like they did on HMS Victory. - Go for it.
0:49:51 > 0:49:57- This is looking good now, we are in the grooves.- Right, that'd be...
0:49:57 > 0:50:00Hang on, hang on. 20 in, 30...
0:50:00 > 0:50:06We're doing 120 knots in an hour which is 138mph.
0:50:06 > 0:50:08138?! We are shifting now.
0:50:11 > 0:50:14And the great thing is of course Hovervans cause no wash,
0:50:14 > 0:50:17so don't damage the wildlife or the banks.
0:50:19 > 0:50:23We're like a breeze. Just a little gust.
0:50:23 > 0:50:24Oh, no! We're stopping. What's happened?
0:50:24 > 0:50:27You've dropped the... you've dropped the... we're sinking.
0:50:27 > 0:50:33We've gone down. That was...something went wrong.
0:50:33 > 0:50:36I think that was the skirt collapsed at the front.
0:50:36 > 0:50:40This meant we had to initiate our emergency crash procedure.
0:50:40 > 0:50:44Do you know what I think this calls for, gentlemen? A hit of oxygen.
0:50:44 > 0:50:49Ooh, yes. A good idea. Let's cheer ourselves up.
0:50:50 > 0:50:54- Ye-hay!- Aaah.
0:50:54 > 0:50:56Hang on a minute, why's yours so small?
0:50:59 > 0:51:02Why have they given you that one?
0:51:02 > 0:51:05They've given you a sparkler canister from a Watneys Party Seven.
0:51:05 > 0:51:08One more push and it'll be out.
0:51:08 > 0:51:10Chaps, do you realise what we've just done?
0:51:10 > 0:51:12We've exhausted the air supply.
0:51:12 > 0:51:17We've used all our oxygen for fun while sitting in a sinking van.
0:51:18 > 0:51:25This is Hovervan 1 calling Avon rescue. Avon calling. Avon calling.
0:51:25 > 0:51:26Help.
0:51:29 > 0:51:32Happily, because we'd only covered four of our 50 miles,
0:51:32 > 0:51:34the crane didn't have far to come.
0:51:35 > 0:51:38And after we'd fixed the skirt and refuelled again,
0:51:38 > 0:51:40we were back on the road.
0:51:40 > 0:51:42- Happy?- Yup.
0:51:42 > 0:51:46- All is going well in the engine. - And relax.
0:51:49 > 0:51:52Sadly though, the relaxing didn't last long.
0:51:52 > 0:51:54Oh, God. There's a lock!
0:51:54 > 0:51:56- You've got to go through the lock. - Can you...- A lock!
0:51:56 > 0:52:00Can you go through locks in a hovercraft? Do they let hovercrafts in?
0:52:00 > 0:52:03To make matters worse, there was no lock keeper.
0:52:03 > 0:52:07- Do you two know how to do a lock? - I've never done one.
0:52:07 > 0:52:08Never done one in my life.
0:52:08 > 0:52:11We've got to get the water level, but don't shilly-shally,
0:52:11 > 0:52:14because I'm going to be all by myself out here.
0:52:14 > 0:52:17'With Richard and James ashore...'
0:52:17 > 0:52:19Go, go, go! Get off!
0:52:19 > 0:52:21'..I was a multitasking machine.'
0:52:21 > 0:52:22Well, this is tricky.
0:52:22 > 0:52:26I'm having to drive and do all the engine stuff.
0:52:26 > 0:52:32I am Mr Sulu, Scotty and Spock all rolled into one here.
0:52:32 > 0:52:35Hang on, the water in the lock has got to be the same
0:52:35 > 0:52:38- level as the boat.- So we've got to let...- So let's go down that end.
0:52:38 > 0:52:43- No, no, no, no, no.- Yes.- No, really. I've got a 2 gallon fuel tank.
0:52:43 > 0:52:49- Take your time.- It's quite loud when you're not on it, isn't it?
0:52:49 > 0:52:52People probably will have to get used to the idea
0:52:52 > 0:52:56when people have Hovervans that canals are a little less
0:52:56 > 0:52:59tranquil than they have been historically.
0:52:59 > 0:53:00It's a natural progression, really.
0:53:00 > 0:53:03You had the pony when canals first began...
0:53:03 > 0:53:07- Superhuman effort!- Yes!
0:53:07 > 0:53:10..then internal combustion came and boats got diesel engines.
0:53:10 > 0:53:16Now, this is the future. Here we go. Going in.
0:53:19 > 0:53:21Yes, a bit of power!
0:53:21 > 0:53:23Power solves all things, as we know.
0:53:27 > 0:53:32- Yes!- Right, if you wind, I'll push.
0:53:32 > 0:53:36Oooh! Look at this now!
0:53:39 > 0:53:42- Right. Are we locking down...- I don't know!- We're locking down.
0:53:42 > 0:53:44Keep the boat forward... What the hell is that?
0:53:44 > 0:53:47- The boat will go wherever it goes! Look!- Close all the paddles.- Yes.
0:53:47 > 0:53:49- What's a paddle? - What are they doing?!
0:53:49 > 0:53:53Honestly, my dog would know how to work a lock.
0:53:53 > 0:53:58- Look at them!- Sorry. You're going to have to do the winding.
0:53:59 > 0:54:04- No, it's down.- What?- It's down. - Hammond! What are you doing?!
0:54:04 > 0:54:09- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHO'S DRIVING?!- Oh,- BLEEP!
0:54:09 > 0:54:13- I thought it would stay there! - Well, of course it won't!
0:54:13 > 0:54:19- The hovercraft has run a mock in a lock.- Get back on board! You go off!
0:54:19 > 0:54:22To try and capture our errant Hovervan,
0:54:22 > 0:54:25Hammond and I formed a pincer movement.
0:54:25 > 0:54:30But sadly as I climbed on board, the pincer movement went a bit wrong.
0:54:32 > 0:54:36Oh, no! Oh, no! I can't breathe!
0:54:47 > 0:54:50I can't breathe! I can't breathe!
0:54:50 > 0:54:56- Have you fallen in?- No! I'm the wettest a human being has ever been!
0:54:56 > 0:55:00- Sitrep. We've er...- Ruined it.
0:55:00 > 0:55:02Well, we've knocked a man out of his boat,
0:55:02 > 0:55:04now we've jammed up the whole of the River Avon.
0:55:04 > 0:55:08Right, now, here's what we must do. We must get it out of the lock.
0:55:08 > 0:55:12And then we'll get a tow, and then we can edit all of this out.
0:55:13 > 0:55:17'Having done all of that, we were back on the move...'
0:55:17 > 0:55:19James, is this a...
0:55:19 > 0:55:22- Which way is it here?- Keep right.
0:55:22 > 0:55:27'..and reflecting on the many positives that had come out of our journey so far.'
0:55:27 > 0:55:31- We have had some calamities. - A couple.- But they're not bad ones.
0:55:31 > 0:55:33- Not really.- It weren't for us.
0:55:33 > 0:55:37I mean, apart from the broken windscreen,
0:55:37 > 0:55:44the Hovervan is working just as well as it ever has. Yes, it's expensive.
0:55:44 > 0:55:46I don't think we'd be able to sell this for much less than
0:55:46 > 0:55:50- a quarter of a million pounds. - Realistically, no.- BUT...
0:55:50 > 0:55:52It's money well spent.
0:55:52 > 0:55:55..when you're up to here, in the sitting room and you could've made your
0:55:55 > 0:56:00escape, you could've done, and you chose not to buy one of these vans.
0:56:00 > 0:56:02That is, I think, the essence of it.
0:56:04 > 0:56:10- Hang on a minute.- What? - Hang on.- What?- What?
0:56:10 > 0:56:13- Which way did you go back there? - You said right.- I said left.
0:56:13 > 0:56:18- No, you didn't, James, you said right.- Wow, what's that?
0:56:18 > 0:56:19Is that a weir?
0:56:26 > 0:56:28- Turn it round. - Turn it round.- Turning, turning!
0:56:28 > 0:56:29Go the other way.
0:56:31 > 0:56:34Yamaha, give me every single rev that Yamaha engine's got.
0:56:37 > 0:56:41- Give it more!- It's on the limit and there is no more!
0:56:41 > 0:56:47- That's all there is!- We're being sucked! I'm going to turn it round.
0:56:47 > 0:56:49What?! Why are you turning round now?!
0:56:49 > 0:56:52- Do you want to go over backwards? - I don't want to go over at all!
0:56:52 > 0:56:59- No, he's right. Go over forwards. It's better.- Holy- BLEEP BLEEP!
0:56:59 > 0:57:02Hammond, I want every bit of lift you can manage.
0:57:04 > 0:57:08- I'm giving it everything it's got!- We are going over! We are going down!
0:57:08 > 0:57:13- Oh, my God!- Oh, my God!- Aargh!
0:57:13 > 0:57:17- Aargh! Aaaargh!- Aaaaaargh!
0:57:17 > 0:57:24- Yes!- Oh, God, we're through!- It worked! It worked!- We did it!
0:57:24 > 0:57:27- We went down a weir! - And we're alive!- What a machine!
0:57:27 > 0:57:30- That's the best thing I've ever survived!- Unbelievable!
0:57:30 > 0:57:33- I knew that would be all right! - Did you?- I've got to go back up.
0:57:33 > 0:57:37- You what?!- No, no! - Don't be bloody stupid!- Oh, come on!
0:57:37 > 0:57:38We only just survived.
0:57:38 > 0:57:41- You couldn't turn it round up there, it's not going to go back up!- Yes!
0:57:41 > 0:57:42Come on, Hovervan.
0:57:42 > 0:57:46In the Shakespearian style, "horsepower, horsepower,
0:57:46 > 0:57:49- "my kingdom for some horsepower." - It won't go up!- It will!
0:57:49 > 0:57:53- It's not going to work!- It won't go up! You can't give it that many revs!
0:57:53 > 0:57:54Full power!
0:58:00 > 0:58:05- Power! Come on!- Jeremy, that's too much! Oh, my God!- What's that smoke?
0:58:05 > 0:58:09- You've ruined the engine!- You've blown the engine up!- Come on! Power!
0:58:09 > 0:58:15- You've killed it!- Oh.- You pillock!
0:58:21 > 0:58:23With that, back to the studio.
0:58:31 > 0:58:34When Chuck Yeager crashed that Starfighter,
0:58:34 > 0:58:36nobody called HIM a pillock!
0:58:36 > 0:58:39No, but it was because of you that we didn't make it to Tewkesbury.
0:58:39 > 0:58:42Well, it doesn't matter. Everybody's seen the film now.
0:58:42 > 0:58:46They know that our Hovervan is an unqualified success.
0:58:46 > 0:58:47Yes, yes, it is.
0:58:47 > 0:58:52Apart from the noise, the spray, the terrible danger,
0:58:52 > 0:58:56impracticality, unreliability, total uncontrollability,
0:58:56 > 0:58:58catastrophic fuel consumption, terrible expense
0:58:58 > 0:59:03- and disastrous damage we caused to Warwickshire with it, yes!- Yeah.
0:59:03 > 0:59:07Apart from those fundamental flaws, which render it completely
0:59:07 > 0:59:11useless, it is genuinely a world-class machine.
0:59:11 > 0:59:16We have done something right. And on that bombshell, it's time to end.
0:59:16 > 0:59:18Thank you so much for watching. Good night!