Episode 5

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0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains adult humour

0:00:31 > 0:00:32Oh, yeah.

0:00:32 > 0:00:34I'm a love god.

0:00:40 > 0:00:43So, welcome to How To Be A Love God.

0:00:43 > 0:00:46I will be your God, Jonny Nash.

0:00:46 > 0:00:50You guys are in for a real treat tonight. Do you know why?

0:00:50 > 0:00:53Cos you're going to learn some secret, classified shit,

0:00:53 > 0:00:57that's going to take you from stud to dud.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Oh, sh... It's the other way round, innit?

0:01:02 > 0:01:04We want to get with her, not repel her, man.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07It's going to turn you from dud to stud, from zero to hero,

0:01:07 > 0:01:09from geek to elite.

0:01:09 > 0:01:14No more bashing the bishop, choking the chicken, jerking the gherkin,

0:01:14 > 0:01:17dating Rosie Palmer and her five sisters - forget that shit.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20It's time for women and that's what we're going to learn about today.

0:01:20 > 0:01:21WOMEN! Let me hear you say "women".

0:01:21 > 0:01:23- ALL:- Women.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26Hi, my name is Dorota.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28I'm Exclusive Lady.

0:01:28 > 0:01:33I am with my husband, er... I am with my husband Atonu.

0:01:33 > 0:01:38Today I present my skill as a actress, in dilemma scene.

0:01:42 > 0:01:46Alice is a married woman and one day,

0:01:46 > 0:01:50when she was checking her e-mail, she suddenly becomes very excited.

0:01:50 > 0:01:55- SHE LAUGHS - Wow!

0:01:55 > 0:01:56WOW!

0:01:56 > 0:02:01And the husband goes to find out what she is so thrilled about.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03- SHE LAUGHS - Wow.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08What you are so thrilled about? What is here?

0:02:08 > 0:02:11- I can see a very long image. - This is my private e-mail.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13No, you are my wife

0:02:13 > 0:02:16and I must read that what other people are writing to you.

0:02:16 > 0:02:20"Let me introduce myself, I am Rainbow, please.

0:02:20 > 0:02:24"If you are in Dubai I will fly with you on my private planes,

0:02:24 > 0:02:28"I'll take you to my yacht for dinner with candle," with candle? No.

0:02:28 > 0:02:32- Wow. Wow!- No, this is not happen when I'm alive.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34I'm very, very angry.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37"I'll give you 10 servants and a Ferrari car."

0:02:37 > 0:02:42My goodness he's so arrogant with his money.

0:02:42 > 0:02:44I'm very, very angry. Very, very.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46SHE LAUGHS

0:02:46 > 0:02:49Hi my name's Cream, means Cash Rules Everything Around Me.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51Don't forget that.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00Yo-yo-yo, you know your boy Cream

0:03:00 > 0:03:02is setting off on a worldwide tour next week,

0:03:02 > 0:03:05but before then, I'm going to be doing a more local tour

0:03:05 > 0:03:08in my new part-time job as a tour guide.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10Gangsta style!

0:03:10 > 0:03:13And, also, I've gotta pay my mum this month's rent,

0:03:13 > 0:03:15I can't forget that, or she's going to kill me.

0:03:24 > 0:03:28Yo, you see this church, right here? It's real old.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31See this wall, right here? I like to take my honeys up against that

0:03:31 > 0:03:33after the clubs are closed, you know what I'm saying?

0:03:33 > 0:03:36I also got a application to make this into a nightclub,

0:03:36 > 0:03:40it's going to be more of a titty bar though, you know what I'm saying?

0:03:41 > 0:03:45It's going to be called Cream Girls. It's going to be off the chain.

0:03:46 > 0:03:50Yo, if you like kitchen roll, this store across the road

0:03:50 > 0:03:54has a great variety of different brands, gangsta style.

0:03:54 > 0:03:58If you look to your right this is where I first start to freestyle.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00If you look to the left,

0:04:00 > 0:04:03this is where I got shot five times on a drive by.

0:04:03 > 0:04:06That was a crazy day, baby, I swear to God.

0:04:06 > 0:04:08Hello, Joel The Dog Spotter here.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11We start at my usual location - dog spotting.

0:04:11 > 0:04:16Today we're looking for the Chihuahua. Please enjoy.

0:04:16 > 0:04:21# Snoop doggy dog. #

0:04:21 > 0:04:24# Nasty Dog. Doggie Dog. #

0:04:33 > 0:04:35A DOG BARKING

0:04:40 > 0:04:44So, for this first technique, I'm going to need a volunteer.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Perfect. What's your name?

0:04:47 > 0:04:49- Simos.- Simos. Come up.

0:04:49 > 0:04:53You are going to be the lady in this one. Beautiful, sexy baby.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56A glamour girl, you know, or a stripper or something, like, glamorous

0:04:56 > 0:04:59cos that's what the gods go for, top of the food chain.

0:04:59 > 0:05:03I'll come in, and you'll see... you're noticing me.

0:05:03 > 0:05:04Oh, hello.

0:05:04 > 0:05:07Oh, how are you? Good?

0:05:07 > 0:05:08Yeah.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14- Are you OK?- Oh, oh, sorry.

0:05:14 > 0:05:15Oh, my God!

0:05:15 > 0:05:19Oh, my God. Oh, sorry.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21- Do you want to sit down? - Ah, you're...you're such a nice girl.

0:05:21 > 0:05:25Yeah, please, er, come keep me company.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27Oh, yeah. Ooh, sorry about this.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Hey, what's your name? - Simone.- Simone?

0:05:30 > 0:05:33Jonny Nash. It's a pleasure. You see that?

0:05:33 > 0:05:37Putty in my hands. Some Florence Nightingale shit, right there.

0:05:37 > 0:05:42He's here, he's queer, he takes it up the rear, it's gotta be Ali.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53Just move the paper over it, no-one'll know.

0:05:53 > 0:05:57"Alan couldn't believe he had just been sent to prison again.

0:05:57 > 0:06:00"He just hoped he wouldn't be sharing a cell with a large black man

0:06:00 > 0:06:02"called Big Daddy, all over again.

0:06:02 > 0:06:05"His last stay had been absolutely exhausting

0:06:05 > 0:06:07"and he hadn't been able to ride a bike for weeks."

0:06:07 > 0:06:09Ooh, memories.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12"'You're in here,' said the Warden, with a snarl,

0:06:12 > 0:06:15"shoving him into the new cell with a kick up the rear from his boot

0:06:15 > 0:06:18"and slamming the door behind him with a clank.

0:06:18 > 0:06:21"As his keys jangled away down the corridor,

0:06:21 > 0:06:23"Alan's eyes adjusted to the gloom

0:06:23 > 0:06:26"and saw, sitting on the bunk, his chest bursting

0:06:26 > 0:06:30"out of a tight blue denim shirt, his blonde hair falling softly

0:06:30 > 0:06:34"over his tanned face, the most beautiful prisoner he had ever seen.

0:06:34 > 0:06:39"His cell mate smiled, revealing a full mouth of dazzling white teeth.

0:06:39 > 0:06:43"As he shifted his legs apart, revealing a..."

0:06:47 > 0:06:52Yo, listen up, for real, this is, what we call in the UK, a bus queue.

0:06:52 > 0:06:55This what rappers do in a bus queue.

0:06:55 > 0:06:57PLAYS HIP-HOP MUSIC ON HIS PHONE You know what I'm saying?

0:06:57 > 0:07:00HE BEAT BOXES

0:07:02 > 0:07:04You know what I'm saying? It's what we do.

0:07:08 > 0:07:12See this place, right here? This is real important in Cream's life.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15This is where I get my food on.

0:07:15 > 0:07:17Without this place I would, literally, die.

0:07:23 > 0:07:25May my sperm bidding be done.

0:07:25 > 0:07:27May my sperm bidding be done.

0:07:27 > 0:07:31SO MAY IT BE DONE!

0:07:34 > 0:07:37Hum, bulum, bulum, bulum, bulum, bulum, ting.

0:07:44 > 0:07:47- Oh, Kev.- Good morning. - Come in, take a seat.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56- A couple of plans I'd like to discuss with you. - Certainly, yes.

0:07:56 > 0:08:01I'm actually the High Priest of Living Witches in this country.

0:08:01 > 0:08:08- OK.- And we're looking at building a 30 foot temple in the town centre.

0:08:08 > 0:08:11- Right.- And what I've got here...

0:08:13 > 0:08:16..they're the details of the plan

0:08:16 > 0:08:20and it's, basically, going to be erected to the Dark Lord.

0:08:20 > 0:08:23- OK.- And you'll find that the whole perimeter, here,

0:08:23 > 0:08:28will be circled by an invisible barbed wire fence.

0:08:28 > 0:08:32- OK.- So people will see the scratches but they won't see the fence.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34- Right.- Then there's this bit,

0:08:34 > 0:08:37that'll be the stairway down to the dungeon.

0:08:37 > 0:08:40Erm, that's where the virgins will be kept.

0:08:40 > 0:08:45I mean there are so many reasons why, you know, as a business,

0:08:45 > 0:08:46- it couldn't work.- Yes, yes.

0:08:46 > 0:08:50I mean, not withstanding that the sacrifice aspects of it,

0:08:50 > 0:08:52I don't think that would be, erm,

0:08:52 > 0:08:55I don't think that's going to be acceptable, you know, in any, sort of, borough...

0:08:55 > 0:08:57- Right, oh.- ..to be perfectly honest.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02- SHE LAUGHS - Wow!

0:09:02 > 0:09:06Wow. I leaving you for better life.

0:09:06 > 0:09:07- I...- Unbelievable.

0:09:08 > 0:09:10Because I am fed up with this gloomy weather.

0:09:10 > 0:09:14But you promised me love for ever, so what happened to this love?

0:09:14 > 0:09:15I don't care.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21Bye. Bye-bye, I leaving for Dubai.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23I am very upset.

0:09:24 > 0:09:26My goodness.

0:09:27 > 0:09:28Stay...

0:09:29 > 0:09:31..or go?

0:09:33 > 0:09:34Stay...

0:09:36 > 0:09:37..or go?

0:09:43 > 0:09:45I decide stay.

0:09:45 > 0:09:46Oh, I'm so relieved.

0:09:46 > 0:09:50You have made the right choice and you will not regret it ever.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54DUBSTEP MUSIC PLAYING

0:10:01 > 0:10:04Life is going just swimmingly.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07Do bubbles carry love songs inside them?

0:10:13 > 0:10:19# Somewhere beyond the sea

0:10:19 > 0:10:23# Somewhere waiting for me

0:10:23 > 0:10:28# My lovers dance on golden sands

0:10:28 > 0:10:34# And watches the ships that go sailing

0:10:34 > 0:10:40# It's far beyond the stars

0:10:40 > 0:10:45# It's now beyond the moon

0:10:45 > 0:10:49# I know beyond a doubt

0:10:49 > 0:10:55# My heart will lead me there soon

0:10:55 > 0:11:00# Me beyond the shore

0:11:00 > 0:11:04# Will kiss just as before

0:11:04 > 0:11:10# Happy we'll be beyond the sea

0:11:10 > 0:11:17# And never again I go sailing. #

0:11:21 > 0:11:25Time for the finger of awesomeness and the thumb of power.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32Let's improvise, let's get busy, let's use the kitchen to exercise.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34What are we going to do with a plate?

0:11:34 > 0:11:36Let's use it intelligently, OK?

0:11:36 > 0:11:38So we're going to come down, arms above our head,

0:11:38 > 0:11:41squat down, bend the arms and extend above your head.

0:11:41 > 0:11:42Power Up!

0:11:42 > 0:11:43Improvise.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45UNLEASH your imagination.

0:11:45 > 0:11:47Discover the child within.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50And, don't forget, you can always take your dog for a walk.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56I might have to resort to a spell route to change your mind.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58OK. You could certainly try.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01HE CHANTS WORDLESSLY

0:12:01 > 0:12:03SANDMAN BE GONE!

0:12:05 > 0:12:08- You've changed your mind, haven't you?- Er, no, not really.

0:12:08 > 0:12:12There are a lot of risks involved about not giving planning permission.

0:12:12 > 0:12:17Right, erm, I mean, that's an awkward situation to be in,

0:12:17 > 0:12:20but I still think even, sort of, given, you know, given the gravity of what you're saying,

0:12:20 > 0:12:23I still think you would find it pretty much impossible

0:12:23 > 0:12:25to get the planning permission that you're looking for.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27That is the other thing I will have to talk to you about

0:12:27 > 0:12:29is the gravity above the town

0:12:29 > 0:12:33because, obviously, our broomsticks need to levitate higher,

0:12:33 > 0:12:35so we will have to adjust the gravity

0:12:35 > 0:12:39and you might find that other people are walking down the road about their business

0:12:39 > 0:12:41and suddenly they start floating,

0:12:41 > 0:12:44but we'd take great effort there to make sure any dog walkers

0:12:44 > 0:12:48- don't let their dog dump from a great height on anybody.- Yeah.

0:12:48 > 0:12:50I mean, that would be a fantastic sensation,

0:12:50 > 0:12:51I'd love to experience that.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53What, being dumped on?

0:12:53 > 0:12:56No, being, you know, floating. I wouldn't want to be dumped on.

0:12:56 > 0:13:00Hi, my name is Dorota. I am Exclusive Lady.

0:13:00 > 0:13:04This evening I present my singing skill.

0:13:04 > 0:13:09I sing, er, one song for my husband, Happy Birthday.

0:13:13 > 0:13:18# Today is your birthday I send you wishes from my heart

0:13:18 > 0:13:22# Today is your birthday I send you love from my heart

0:13:22 > 0:13:24# Today is your birthday

0:13:24 > 0:13:27# Let sun it shine on you

0:13:27 > 0:13:32# Today is your birthday You wait for me 100 years. #

0:13:36 > 0:13:38So the setting here is a restaurant, yeah?

0:13:38 > 0:13:42We walk past the restaurant, we see a hot chick dining by herself.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44That's what we like to refer to as, "the target,"

0:13:44 > 0:13:47so what we're going to do is we're going to initiate a two man technique

0:13:47 > 0:13:49that's going to make me look like a rock star.

0:13:49 > 0:13:51So what we do is, you go in

0:13:51 > 0:13:54and then, when I give you the wave, you start choking.

0:13:56 > 0:14:00Oh, my God, he's choking! Won't someone help him?

0:14:00 > 0:14:03No-one's going to help him? Looks like then it's down to me.

0:14:03 > 0:14:04Come on! Come on.

0:14:04 > 0:14:08Bend down, bend down, bend down, bend down.

0:14:08 > 0:14:12Come on, get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14Ah, uh, ah, there you go.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16It's out, it's out. Are you OK there, sir?

0:14:16 > 0:14:19- Yeah, cheers, brother. Cheers man.- Well, yeah.

0:14:19 > 0:14:22- Cool.- Ooh, sorry, baby. - Wow, you're a hero.

0:14:22 > 0:14:24It really takes it out of me, man.

0:14:24 > 0:14:28Whoa, I just happened to be at the right place at the right time.

0:14:28 > 0:14:32So what's a beautiful girl like you dining alone in a place like this?

0:14:32 > 0:14:34I know, I ask myself the same thing.

0:14:34 > 0:14:39Do you see that? I didn't just save his life, I've saved yours as well.

0:14:40 > 0:14:47See that, she's, again, putty in my hands cos chicks love a hero.

0:14:47 > 0:14:48Great job.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50# Express yourself

0:14:53 > 0:14:54# Express yourself

0:14:55 > 0:14:57# Oh, do it

0:14:57 > 0:15:01# See it's not what you look like... #

0:15:01 > 0:15:03CAR CRASHING

0:15:17 > 0:15:20- Hi.- Hello, how are you?

0:15:20 > 0:15:21I'm good, how are you?

0:15:21 > 0:15:23- Very well, thank you.- Good.

0:15:23 > 0:15:26- What a nice, uh, jeweller shop. - Thank you.

0:15:26 > 0:15:30I'm just wondering, do you, uh, sometimes sell...

0:15:30 > 0:15:33recyclable jewellery?

0:15:33 > 0:15:34No.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36I'm in the right place at the right time.

0:15:36 > 0:15:40By the way, may I introduce myself as Afro-British Gaga?

0:15:40 > 0:15:43- OK.- A designer from another planet.

0:15:43 > 0:15:44That's a good introduction.

0:15:44 > 0:15:48- So may I show you what I have got here?- Yeah, of course, yeah.

0:15:48 > 0:15:51Right - kitchen utensils.

0:15:53 > 0:15:55Ah...

0:15:55 > 0:15:57- Soothers, baby soothers.- OK.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00I've got some earrings here, right.

0:16:04 > 0:16:08If you have got a nosebleed, you can simply pluck one Tampax

0:16:08 > 0:16:11and then stop the blood from your nosebleed,

0:16:11 > 0:16:14so it's not only for women, not only for women.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17This is an interesting concept here.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19This is definitely an unusual one.

0:16:19 > 0:16:20Oh, you've got more.

0:16:20 > 0:16:24Yeah, this one, now that's the necklace which goes with the...

0:16:24 > 0:16:26Wow.

0:16:26 > 0:16:29Let me have a look at the necklace in its full glory.

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Yeah, there's plenty there.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33Yes, they are unique products, as you can see.

0:16:33 > 0:16:36These are £100 each.

0:16:36 > 0:16:40I don't know if I'll be able to sell them for that much.

0:16:40 > 0:16:44- The earrings and the necklace, they are £200.- OK.

0:16:44 > 0:16:48We can try something of everything, yeah, and see how it goes, you know,

0:16:48 > 0:16:52and hopefully we'll make a good partnership and, you know...

0:16:52 > 0:16:54- Thank you very much. - I can sell some things for you.

0:16:54 > 0:16:58MUSIC: "Zadok the Priest"

0:17:19 > 0:17:21Still waiting.

0:17:23 > 0:17:27MUSIC: "Feel The Love" by Rudimental

0:17:31 > 0:17:32Are you all right? Is it Talina?

0:17:32 > 0:17:35- Oh, hi, how are you?- Not bad.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37- What's your name?- My name's Louis.

0:17:37 > 0:17:39OK, Louis, I'm Talina.

0:17:39 > 0:17:40How are you today?

0:17:40 > 0:17:43Not bad at all. Have you been up to anything nice lately?

0:17:43 > 0:17:46No, not really. Actually, I just woke up.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49- It's all right, come on.- Sorry? - Don't be nervous, it's fine.

0:17:49 > 0:17:53- No, I'm fine.- I'm not going to bite you, relax, no stress.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55- So where are you from? - I'm from Bexley Heath.

0:17:55 > 0:17:58- Where is this?- Sort of Kent, on the borders of the South East.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00Near Kent, and do you live in Kent?

0:18:00 > 0:18:02Well, sort of the borders, sort of on the edge of London.

0:18:02 > 0:18:05- Do you live in London or do you live in Kent?- Kent.

0:18:05 > 0:18:06So you still live in Kent?

0:18:06 > 0:18:08Yeah, I still live in Kent, yeah.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11- OK, so how do you treat a girl? - How to treat a girl?

0:18:11 > 0:18:13I'll show you if like.

0:18:13 > 0:18:18Ah, you can tell me, I mean, you can explain, that's fine.

0:18:18 > 0:18:22DANCE MUSIC

0:18:23 > 0:18:26No, you can keep your private space.

0:18:45 > 0:18:48Guys, can I have security please?

0:18:48 > 0:18:51Security, 991, we need some help here.

0:19:02 > 0:19:06OK, honey, I told you I'm not interested.

0:19:06 > 0:19:09Seriously, it's really not my cup of tea.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16- What do you think, back to your house?- No.

0:19:16 > 0:19:20Hey, yo, what's up, Boom Town? It's your boy Cream once again

0:19:20 > 0:19:24waiting for you to purchase your tickets for my O2 concert next week,

0:19:24 > 0:19:27but right now I'm issuing some tickets of my own

0:19:27 > 0:19:31in my brand new job as a traffic warden,

0:19:31 > 0:19:32gangsta style.

0:19:32 > 0:19:35Also to pay my mom this month's rent,

0:19:35 > 0:19:36can't forget that.

0:19:38 > 0:19:42Damn, that's a badass set of wheels right there.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44That's what I'm talking about.

0:19:44 > 0:19:47Damn, I could get all of my bitches in the back of that rig.

0:19:47 > 0:19:51Mm-hmm, but unfortunately

0:19:51 > 0:19:55it's contravening the Parking and Traffic Act 1988,

0:19:55 > 0:20:00which requires me to put a parking ticket on this bad boy.

0:20:02 > 0:20:06You've got 30 days to pay up, boy, or I'll put a cap in your ass.

0:20:14 > 0:20:16Could be a long day, Ronnie.

0:20:20 > 0:20:21# Get hyper! #

0:20:32 > 0:20:34Front elevation,

0:20:34 > 0:20:36side elevation,

0:20:36 > 0:20:37plan.

0:20:37 > 0:20:41Brand new installation, it's never been seen afore,

0:20:41 > 0:20:45it's thought-provoking, it's intense,

0:20:45 > 0:20:47it's called Man on Man.

0:20:53 > 0:20:55This should bring the crowds in.

0:20:55 > 0:21:01Biblical, Romans, present day,

0:21:01 > 0:21:03what's your problem, man?

0:21:05 > 0:21:09Yeah, nice arch there, nice curve.

0:21:10 > 0:21:14The angles of desire waiting for the human touch.

0:21:14 > 0:21:15Yeah, that works, that.

0:21:16 > 0:21:18Beautiful, beautiful.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23OK, guys, it's time for your afternoon bingo.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25So just give my balls a shake.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27Not for the first time this afternoon.

0:21:29 > 0:21:31An hour lunch, doesn't take me long.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37Oh, Gert's age, 90.

0:21:38 > 0:21:39Not long now.

0:21:42 > 0:21:45I met him online, number nine.

0:21:50 > 0:21:52Two hard dicks, 66.

0:21:56 > 0:21:59Oh, one in the arse, number seven.

0:21:59 > 0:22:02DRAMATIC CHORAL MUSIC

0:22:12 > 0:22:15- You didn't leave the iron on today, did you?- Um, no, not this time, no.

0:22:15 > 0:22:18You'd better not have. Remember last time? You burnt the house down.

0:22:18 > 0:22:19I didn't burn the house down.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22- I nearly burnt it down, but I didn't actually.- No, you nearly did,

0:22:22 > 0:22:25but I had to go and buy a load of new clothes. You burnt the clothes.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27I promise I've left it off this time. I'm more aware this time.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32# You'd better back up, back up before I slap up, slap up

0:22:32 > 0:22:35# Another ticket on your car for being too far

0:22:35 > 0:22:40# Away from the kerbside even though you've got a nice ride

0:22:40 > 0:22:42# Yeah, you want to get away with this ticket

0:22:42 > 0:22:44# Put a £50 in my side. #

0:22:46 > 0:22:48HE BEATBOXES

0:23:03 > 0:23:06This one's called Time Out.

0:23:06 > 0:23:11It's all about de-stressing meself from modern day life,

0:23:11 > 0:23:18which can become a pain, and I just look at the dot on the wall

0:23:18 > 0:23:20and it just brings me back to reality.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33- Let me hear you say women! - ALL: Women.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35- Women!- ALL: Women!

0:23:35 > 0:23:38- Women!- ALL: Women!

0:23:38 > 0:23:41To get a woman, you need to understand a woman.

0:23:41 > 0:23:43I will show you what a woman wants.

0:23:43 > 0:23:46- OK.- When a woman's looking this damn good,

0:23:46 > 0:23:49they want a man to, like, be confident, pick 'em up,

0:23:49 > 0:23:54put 'em on that pedestal and worship the goddamn ground they walk on.

0:23:54 > 0:23:55What are we?

0:23:55 > 0:23:57ALL: Love gods!

0:23:57 > 0:23:59That's it. That's it. You need to come in here,

0:23:59 > 0:24:01you need to show that you're the man.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03You need to put me on there, and we'll be like, "Whoa!"

0:24:03 > 0:24:05- Oh, aren't you the man, huh? - Yes, I am.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08Can't you manhandle a naughty girl like me, yeah?

0:24:08 > 0:24:10- Ooh, I like it.- Oh, thanks.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12Cos women, they want to know

0:24:12 > 0:24:15that you're a great student of the art of muff diving,

0:24:15 > 0:24:17smack clams, munch rugs,

0:24:17 > 0:24:19dine at the one pink taco stand.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21Write that down.

0:24:24 > 0:24:26Still waiting for the chihuahua.

0:24:33 > 0:24:35Hey, guys, I'm glad you're here.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37I'm just trying to get myself in the zone,

0:24:37 > 0:24:39and to do that I'd like to introduce you to two of my friends,

0:24:39 > 0:24:43the finger of power and the thumb of awesomeness. Give it a go!

0:24:45 > 0:24:48Here I am flying my remote control plane.

0:24:48 > 0:24:49It's just like flying a real plane,

0:24:49 > 0:24:53but if you flew into the side of a building, no-one would get killed.

0:24:53 > 0:24:55Power up!

0:24:55 > 0:24:56Hi, I am Dorota.

0:24:56 > 0:24:58I am Exclusive Lady.

0:24:58 > 0:25:04Today I present one song which I call...Sunshine After The Sky.

0:25:05 > 0:25:06After The Rain.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08Rain, yeah, Sunshine After The Rain?

0:25:08 > 0:25:09Sunshine After The Rain.

0:25:09 > 0:25:14So, today I present one song which is Sunshine After The Rain.

0:25:26 > 0:25:29# I want to see the sunshine after the rain

0:25:29 > 0:25:35# I want to see bluebirds flying over the mountains again

0:25:36 > 0:25:42# Where is the silver lining shining at the rainbow end?

0:25:43 > 0:25:46# I want to see the sunshine after the rain

0:25:46 > 0:25:52# I want to see bluebirds flying over the mountain again

0:25:53 > 0:25:59# Where is the silver lining shining at the rainbow end? #

0:26:03 > 0:26:04Ah-ooh!

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Ah-ooh.

0:26:06 > 0:26:09- Ooh.- Oh...

0:26:09 > 0:26:12Women relate great dancing to great sex.

0:26:14 > 0:26:16Show 'em a little taster of what's to come.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21Every woman likes a big thruster.

0:26:47 > 0:26:51LEATHER SQUEAKS

0:26:52 > 0:26:54Oh.

0:26:56 > 0:26:59THEY LAUGH

0:27:09 > 0:27:11Still waiting.

0:27:16 > 0:27:17That's the dog.

0:27:17 > 0:27:19That's the chihuahua.

0:27:19 > 0:27:20Please enjoy.

0:27:28 > 0:27:32# I want to see the sunshine after the rain

0:27:32 > 0:27:37# I want to see bluebirds flying over the mountain again

0:27:39 > 0:27:45# Where is the silver lining shining at the rainbow end?

0:27:53 > 0:27:56# I want to see, I want to...

0:27:56 > 0:27:59# I want to... I want to...

0:28:00 > 0:28:03# I want to see the sunshine after the rain

0:28:03 > 0:28:06# I want to see the sunshine after the rain

0:28:06 > 0:28:10# I want to see the sunshine after the rain

0:28:20 > 0:28:23# I want to see the sunshine after the rain

0:28:23 > 0:28:27# I want to see the sunshine after the rain

0:28:27 > 0:28:30# I want to see the sunshine after the rain

0:28:30 > 0:28:33# I want to see the sunshine after the rain. #

0:28:33 > 0:28:36Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd