0:00:07 > 0:00:10This programme contains adult humour
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Forget Casanova, I'm the Nashanova.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Let's talk about sex! #
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Oh, grief! Oh, man!
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Sorry, sorry, sorry.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50My bad. Sorry, sorry.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52That's... God, that's all right. Wow, whirlwind.
0:00:52 > 0:00:57There are moments in life that have defound history.
0:00:57 > 0:01:02Man walking on the moon, Obama being President, me hitting puberty.
0:01:02 > 0:01:07And today is as different as any other day, but it's not.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Cos today is the defining moment in sex.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14This I call the Nash Basher.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Modelled on the great man himself.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Now, I'm known for my art of muff-diving.
0:01:21 > 0:01:26To smack clam, munch rug, dine at the one pink taco stand,
0:01:26 > 0:01:30take it to the car wash, air dry that Chevy.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Wax it, you know the deal.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36So what this one is, this is designed for the ladies.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39So what we have is we have an extending, vibrating tongue.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Oh, God, that's the worst thing I've ever seen.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44- Moving on, then.- OK.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49I call this range Whip-Nash. Standard bondage gear.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Edgy gimp mask, yeah.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57And the best thing is, my Whip-Nash will be a seasonal package.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Everything rolled into one for a kinky weekend.
0:02:05 > 0:02:06Right...
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Whip-Nash.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12Time for the finger of awesomeness and the thumb of power.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15# Let's get physical, physical! #
0:02:15 > 0:02:19Fancy a drink? Well, why not go to the pub?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22And remember, if it's alcohol you want, don't have too much
0:02:22 > 0:02:24or you might end up drunk.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Unless, of course, that's what you want.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30Power up! Smoking's really bad for your health.
0:02:30 > 0:02:35Don't do it. But, if you have to, go outside cos that's the law.
0:02:35 > 0:02:40May my spell and bidding be done, may my spell and bidding be done.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Fomabedoes!
0:02:52 > 0:02:55- Hello. - Hello, mate, need any help?
0:02:55 > 0:02:57I'm looking for a new familiar.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01- Basically my last one was shot, um, flying over London.- OK.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05- Do you sell any blood-sucking bats? - No.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09- Fire-breathing dragons? - We do bearded dragons.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11- Do they breathe fire? - No.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- No? Ah. Hell hounds? - No.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16- Cat fish? - Yeah, we do cat fish.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Do they meow in foreign languages?
0:03:19 > 0:03:21I mean, have you got an Arabian speaking one?
0:03:21 > 0:03:22I couldn't tell you.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- No? So you've never heard... - No, I've never heard of them.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Would you by any chance have anything like this?
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Quite a rare creature.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- No, I can't help you there. - Nothing at all like that at all?- No.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38Or perhaps you'd have the kind of hindquarters and the head
0:03:38 > 0:03:42in different creatures that I could, um, kind of zam together?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45No, that wouldn't work.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47What other sorts of pets have you got
0:03:47 > 0:03:50that I could actually have as a familiar?
0:03:50 > 0:03:52- As a familiar? - Wild elephant?
0:03:52 > 0:03:55No. Hamsters?
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- Do they talk?- No.- No?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Well, I'd better have a think about this.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02I'm going to communicate with the Great God now, Amun Ra.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03See what he says next.
0:04:03 > 0:04:08Amun Ra!
0:04:12 > 0:04:15I'm not getting the communication through.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16It's the wiring up here, you see.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19- Yeah, they just don't make the telepathic goods any more.- No.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35I'd like it all pink but I don't know about you.
0:04:35 > 0:04:36- I'm not having it all pink.- Why?
0:04:36 > 0:04:39I'll tell you what, we can have the walls pink
0:04:39 > 0:04:40but nothing else is being pink.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43No. Everything's pink. I want everything to be pink.
0:04:43 > 0:04:44Oh, I can't have it pink.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46The curtains, blinds, carpets. Why?
0:04:46 > 0:04:49I can't be waking up in a pink room every morning.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- I think it should be quite good. - It's depressing.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56He's here, he's queer, he takes it up the rear, it's got to be Ali.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03# Don't stop the par-tay! #
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Afternoon, guys. Afternoon. I'm all happy, happy, happy,
0:05:06 > 0:05:10cos guess what day it is? It's my birthday.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13It was your birthday last week.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16No, that's where you're mistaken actually, Jean.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18It's my birthday this week and we're going to have a party,
0:05:18 > 0:05:20and we're going to play party games.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23We're going to start off with musical statues, OK?
0:05:23 > 0:05:26So, everyone take a position.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29OK, take a position and stay in it for as long as possible.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Come on, you can do it.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34I'm afraid you're out, Bert. You're disqualified.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38Beryl, sit back down, please. You're shaking too much.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41And you, Boris, I can see your eyelids moving and you're wobbling.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Jean, you're out. You're wobbling.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45I can see your hands shaking on the chair.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Oh, look at you, Jim. Oh, nearly there.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49That's the furthest you've stood in months.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Ooh, maybe you're going to win. Maybe, but maybe not.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53I am the winner. I win.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56I win and that's good, cos it's my birthday.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57I win so I get a sweet.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00You all moved, you're all disqualified,
0:06:00 > 0:06:02you're all out, unfortunately.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Could be a long day, Ronnie.
0:06:14 > 0:06:15# Get hyper! #
0:06:15 > 0:06:20Front elevation, side elevation, plan.
0:06:20 > 0:06:28This installation is called Engaging De-Engaging.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36This should bring the crowds in.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40This is what's happening in my industry.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43There's nobody engaging in conversation no more.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47Engage! Engage!
0:06:47 > 0:06:51Come in! A pub, a cafe! Embrace it!
0:06:51 > 0:06:55Embrace the landlord, engage!
0:06:55 > 0:07:00Engage! Let's get back to basics. Let's get back to reality, please!
0:07:00 > 0:07:06You get the idea about this one, don't you? And it's brilliant.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Hi, my name is Dorota, I am exclusive lady.
0:07:09 > 0:07:14Today I present my acting skill in my act, Mermaid.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31Now I'm Stanley, I'm a ship building engineer.
0:07:31 > 0:07:38When one day he was working on a vessel, Mermaid spotted him.
0:07:38 > 0:07:43He had an accident. He fell from the ship into the ocean.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48His head hit a rock and he lost his consciousness.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Stanley...
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Stanley...
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Wake up...
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Stanley, wake up.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Stanley, wake up.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Stanley, wake up.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10The sun is shining over you.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17What a beauty!
0:08:17 > 0:08:21How grateful I am that you have saved my life.
0:08:21 > 0:08:26How, beauty, what is your name, my beauty?
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Melody!
0:08:28 > 0:08:32Melody? I will stay with you forever.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- You want to keep your eye on that one if I were you.- OK.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46It's a nasty piece of work.
0:08:46 > 0:08:50It's actually a seventh king, from the seventh circle in hell.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Conquered all sorts of different dimensions.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55He sliced the heads off from a million different victims
0:08:55 > 0:08:58from atop his black steed.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02And the main thing he liked was sacrificial virgins.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05I could use somebody like that in my coven.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07# Express yourself
0:09:10 > 0:09:13# Express yourself
0:09:13 > 0:09:18# See it's not what you look like...#
0:09:18 > 0:09:21CRASH
0:09:31 > 0:09:33# I was born this way
0:09:33 > 0:09:35# I'm on the right track, baby
0:09:35 > 0:09:37# I was born this way. #
0:09:37 > 0:09:42That's one of my favourites. The pegs, there.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46I really like this outfit because if she can swim with that,
0:09:46 > 0:09:48she can catch a little fish.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Instead you cannot say catch, but peg a little fish.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53It's really interesting, I love that.
0:09:53 > 0:09:58Now we've got another one, which is very interesting.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00As you can see these are just table mats.
0:10:00 > 0:10:05So whenever you have your breakfast, lunch, supper,
0:10:05 > 0:10:08with your table mats, that's another outfit
0:10:08 > 0:10:10which you can actually think of.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Oh, dish towels.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19That's household material, what else can you say?
0:10:22 > 0:10:25All right, guys, I hope you're all enjoying my party as much as I am.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28What we're going to do now, we're going to do my favourite party game.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30We're going to play hide and seek.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34Cover your eyes. Cover your eyes, everybody. Close your eyes.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38MAN SNORES
0:10:38 > 0:10:42One, two, three,
0:10:42 > 0:10:45four, nine-ten.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47OK, ready or not, come and get me.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Eh, no, no-one found me.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Sorry, eh, I'm afraid that you're all out, OK?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02So I win that, unfortunately for you,
0:11:02 > 0:11:04so I get to have a sweet from the sweetie jar.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08# Happy birthday to me
0:11:08 > 0:11:10# Happy birthday to me,
0:11:10 > 0:11:13# Happy birthday, dear Ali
0:11:13 > 0:11:15# Happy birthday to me. #
0:11:15 > 0:11:17PARTY POPPER POPS Ooh!
0:11:20 > 0:11:21Hi, my name's Cream,
0:11:21 > 0:11:23means Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Don't forget that.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36As always, I'm surrounded by good-looking bitches.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41Next week, I'm on tour with my boy Snoop Doggy Dog,
0:11:41 > 0:11:45but this week, I'm actually snooping with some real dogs in my new
0:11:45 > 0:11:49part-time job as a dog sitter, gangsta-style.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Also to pay my mum her rent.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Stop trying to hump each other. Damn.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Walking all these dogs, that ain't no challenge for a gangsta like me.
0:12:00 > 0:12:01Where'd they go?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Where's my bitches at?
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Come on, bitch, come back here. Damn.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10You're supposed to have my back, not run away from me, girls.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15All the realest gangsters wear real fur, you know what I'm saying?
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Yeah, this is my bitch.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23Sammy Day, come on.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25DOG BARKS Come on.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Don't run away from me, girl.
0:12:32 > 0:12:33That's what I'm talking about.
0:12:35 > 0:12:36Yeah.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43You know what, I need some "me" time.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Come here, stapler.
0:12:45 > 0:12:51Tense and squeeze, tense and squeeze, tense and squeeze, awesome.
0:12:51 > 0:12:52Improvise.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58In a shopping centre waiting for your girlfriend to choose a new top?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Bored? Why not try walking up the escalator in the wrong direction?
0:13:01 > 0:13:02Watch.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Power up.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14See, you have a lot of products here.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16I think what you need is more, like, books.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19I have the next bestseller for you.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Autobiography on myself...
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- Good grief. - ..of how I became who I am today.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28Well that, yeah, no, that's going to be a fascinating read.
0:13:28 > 0:13:33Allow me to present to you the first copy of Fifty Shades Of Jonny Nash.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36I'm going to read you a paragraph from my erotic non-fiction.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37OK.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41HE CLEARS THROAT
0:13:41 > 0:13:45I used her thighs as ear muffs, as I smacked her clams
0:13:45 > 0:13:49and munched her rug in the sen-sensual art of muff diving.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Grabbing hold of the Nash Basher,
0:13:53 > 0:13:57out squirted the lube as I slipped that satisfactory guaranteed
0:13:57 > 0:14:02toy inside her like a lumberjack feeding a hungry beaver some wood.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05My lubricated hand gave her two in the pink, one in the stink,
0:14:05 > 0:14:08two in the goo, one in the poo,
0:14:08 > 0:14:10two in the kitty, one in the shitty,
0:14:10 > 0:14:13two in the gutter, one in the turd cutter.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14No, God, right...
0:14:19 > 0:14:21- Right, sir, your salmon. - Lovely. Thank you.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24There you go. A little touch of black pepper, olive oil, vinegar?
0:14:24 > 0:14:28Yeah. This, this fish has just told me that it wasn't humanely killed.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31It's telling me that it was actually strangled.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Is it OK if I perform the last rites for him?
0:14:37 > 0:14:38If you like to, yes, please.
0:14:40 > 0:14:45Rest in peace, oh mighty fish, but now I devour thee.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49- THUNDER CLAPS - Thank you, the Gods, for this meal on this day.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53I'll try a chip.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56MUSIC: "Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites" by Skrillex
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Let's play crosswords.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09The greatest wonder of them all,
0:15:09 > 0:15:11in French it rhymes with glamour.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Amour.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20L-o-v-e.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Love!
0:15:25 > 0:15:30# L is for the way you look at me
0:15:30 > 0:15:35# O is for the only one I see
0:15:35 > 0:15:40# V is very, very extraordinary
0:15:40 > 0:15:45# E is even more than anyone but you alone can...
0:15:45 > 0:15:50# Love is all that I can give to you
0:15:50 > 0:15:54# Love is more than just a game for two
0:15:54 > 0:15:57# Two in love can make it
0:15:57 > 0:15:59# Take my heart and please don't break it
0:15:59 > 0:16:04# Love was made for me and you
0:16:04 > 0:16:10# Love was made for me and you. #
0:16:21 > 0:16:25Maud couldn't be with us this afternoon, she's up in her room
0:16:25 > 0:16:28cos I've stolen her glasses for one of my props, OK?
0:16:30 > 0:16:33"Oh, hello there, Jean." "Hello, Bert."
0:16:34 > 0:16:37"Oh, I would run after you but I can't.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41"I can't because my limbs don't work, not since 1962."
0:16:41 > 0:16:44"Oh, that's a shame, because you can't have your glasses,
0:16:44 > 0:16:46"I'm taking them to Mr Alan.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49"Why don't we ask Maurice what he thinks?"
0:16:49 > 0:16:54"Oh, he is fantastic, I wish he was our dad and he was born years ago."
0:16:54 > 0:16:58"But that could never happen, Mr Alan is far too gorgeous."
0:16:58 > 0:17:01"But we too could look like him if we was younger."
0:17:01 > 0:17:03"No, we couldn't." "Why's that, Jean?"
0:17:03 > 0:17:05"Because I've already seen your photos of
0:17:05 > 0:17:07"when you was younger, Bert.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09"You know that black and white one in your room?
0:17:09 > 0:17:11"You look like the back end of a bus."
0:17:11 > 0:17:14"And I've also seen your photo, Jean, yes.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16"Yes, yes, I was an ugly duckling
0:17:16 > 0:17:19"and I wouldn't touch you with two shitty sticks."
0:17:19 > 0:17:22"Oh, that's fair enough, Jean, cos I would batter you with those
0:17:22 > 0:17:25"two shitty sticks if you come near me for a snog."
0:17:25 > 0:17:27"Oh, but I-I give good snogs, I have no teeth."
0:17:34 > 0:17:38England caps, what else can you say?
0:17:38 > 0:17:41You can support England.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44A short skirt, as well, you can cover up your bits.
0:17:44 > 0:17:50Right, well, well. You look very fantastic.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51How are you feeling today?
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Exciting.
0:17:53 > 0:17:54These creations,
0:17:54 > 0:17:57they are an inspiration to everyone in this library.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02So as you can see, right, the models are very happy.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07Are you really enjoying, eh, using, uh...wearing your outfit?
0:18:07 > 0:18:11No I-I-I live here, I do things here
0:18:11 > 0:18:13and everyone's staring at me, it's really awkward.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16And what do you think about your outfit?
0:18:16 > 0:18:18I would not wear this in public.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Eh, you won't wear it in public. But if it was actually, eh,
0:18:20 > 0:18:24made up of, eh, a real, clothing material,
0:18:24 > 0:18:26would you buy it in a shop and wear it?
0:18:26 > 0:18:29- No, no. - Why wouldn't you wear it?
0:18:29 > 0:18:31I get recognised and stared at too much
0:18:31 > 0:18:33in public with my big breasts as it is.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37That's really... Oh, that was very wonderful. I love that.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Tonight we've got a very, very special event.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46It's controversial,
0:18:46 > 0:18:47it's out there,
0:18:47 > 0:18:50it's thought-provoking
0:18:50 > 0:18:55and it's called Man, and I've got a live audience in as well -
0:18:55 > 0:18:57me pub regulars.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Are they going to be in for a treat?
0:19:07 > 0:19:08This should bring the crowds in.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Good evening.
0:19:14 > 0:19:19Front elevation, side elevation, plan.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24Tonight, we're going to be talking about Man.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30The Man, the pig, both dirty animals.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Um, the pig, not as dirty.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Man will kill the planet.
0:19:38 > 0:19:42Man will fuck it up.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Man will kill the human species.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50We've got the pig.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55The pig's placenta, the umbilical cord, the baby.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58Is this the way forward?
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Thought-provoking,
0:20:03 > 0:20:06realism, this...
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Whoa!
0:20:09 > 0:20:11What can you say,
0:20:11 > 0:20:14but this could be the end result?
0:20:15 > 0:20:16Man.
0:20:18 > 0:20:19# Get hyper. #
0:20:25 > 0:20:26# I'm a heartbreaker
0:20:26 > 0:20:28# I'm a heart...
0:20:28 > 0:20:30# Ah, ah, ah, I'm a heartbreaker
0:20:30 > 0:20:32# I'm a... #
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Hey, sorry I kept you waiting so long.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42My name is J to the O to the N-N-Y with a Nash at the end
0:20:42 > 0:20:43cos I'm motherfucking fly.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45What do you do for a living?
0:20:45 > 0:20:46What don't I do for a living?
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Is it like parrot?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Is this what you call parrot from where you're from?
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Do you have anything else behind your sleeve?
0:20:54 > 0:20:56I have something I could definitely whip out later
0:20:56 > 0:20:57if the night goes well.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00OK, Jonny, what do you do for a living?
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Didn't I just say what I did?
0:21:02 > 0:21:04- No.- I'm a love god.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08- Ah.- International. - What is it about?- This?
0:21:08 > 0:21:10- Yes.- What do you like?
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Roses, chocolates, or diamonds, handbags,
0:21:13 > 0:21:15you look like a gift kind of girl?
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Oh.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Eh, excuse me, what is it you have?
0:21:24 > 0:21:26It's empty, yeah?
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Let's see what I can get out of here for you.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Oh, oh, look at that. Oh.
0:21:35 > 0:21:36- Um.- What else is in here?
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Oh, and that one too.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Listen, sweetheart, I can tell you're really true,
0:21:43 > 0:21:47it's nothing funny at all, and I'm really very bored.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Something here... Oh, here we go.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50One more.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54I'm telling you now, it can work in a circus and you can
0:21:54 > 0:21:56make some money.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00Russia's known for many, like, sort of, its unique studies
0:22:00 > 0:22:03and art forms, I happen to be a student of all arts as well.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07I don't like modern art, but I like old-fashioned art.
0:22:07 > 0:22:08Mm-hm.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11The art form I study has been around for many, many years.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14I studied the great American art of muff diving.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Do you know that one?
0:22:16 > 0:22:20To smack clam, munch rug, dine at the one pink taco stand,
0:22:20 > 0:22:24take it to the car wash, you know, wax that shit.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Air dry it, air dry it.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Good with the hands.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Why did you show me your tongue, it's not sexy?
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Oh, you want to see my tongue, eh?
0:22:32 > 0:22:34I can't control it.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36I can't control it.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40It's got a mind of its own.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Bye. He knows a bit of discipline.
0:22:44 > 0:22:45Have you finished?
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Do you like discipline?
0:22:47 > 0:22:49If there's anything else you can show me
0:22:49 > 0:22:52before I will walk away in the next three seconds.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Oh, look at that. Ah, ah, ah.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Hi, my name is Dorota. This is my husband Atonu.
0:23:03 > 0:23:04Today, I show you my
0:23:04 > 0:23:10ABC book for children, present my illustrator skill.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17Today is Princess's birthday
0:23:17 > 0:23:21and she has got a beautiful present -
0:23:21 > 0:23:22ABC book.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40A is for Apple.
0:23:40 > 0:23:41- TOY HAMSTER:- A for Apple.
0:23:45 > 0:23:46B is for Bear.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50C for Cat.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52- TOY HAMSTER:- C for Cat, C for Cat.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Eh, hold, hold on a minute, hold on a minute,
0:23:54 > 0:23:57because hamster repeating too long... TOY HAMSTER MAKES INDISTINCT NOISES
0:23:57 > 0:23:59What? We don't need.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02Only when it's A, A, B, B. TOY HAMSTER MAKES INDISTINCT NOISES
0:24:02 > 0:24:03But, but you are talking too much,
0:24:03 > 0:24:06just A for Apple, B for Bird, C for Cat.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- OK. I see, mm-hm. - So go, go on this way, huh?
0:24:09 > 0:24:11TOY HAMSTER MAKES INDISTINCT NOISES
0:24:11 > 0:24:14A for Anteater.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16- TOY HAMSTER:- A for Anteater.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17A for Apple.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25C for Cat.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27- TOY HAMSTER:- C for Cat.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29- TOY CAT:- I love looking pretty.
0:24:29 > 0:24:30C for Cake.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Once again because it's stopped talking.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37- TOY CAT:- I love looking pretty. - C for Cat.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38- TOY HAMSTER:- C for Cat.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42- TOY CAT:- I love looking pretty. - C for Cake.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44- TOY HAMSTER:- C for Cake.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50H is for Horse.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52- TOY HAMSTER:- H is for Horse.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54House and Hedge-cog.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Hedgehog.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59H is for Horse, House and Hedge-cog.
0:25:02 > 0:25:03Hog.
0:25:03 > 0:25:08Yeah. H is for Horse, House, Hedge-cog.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10SHE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE
0:25:10 > 0:25:11Hedge-cog? Hedgehog.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16SHE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE
0:25:18 > 0:25:20- Hedge-cog.- Hedgehog.- Hedgehog.
0:25:20 > 0:25:21Hog.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24H is for Hedge-cog, Horse.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27SHE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE
0:25:27 > 0:25:30- Hedgehog.- Hedgehog.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32I could show you many things.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35But I'll save the best for last.
0:25:35 > 0:25:39I'm about to show you my sexual dance of seduction, baby.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Would you like some of this?
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Blah, blah, blah, boring.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Eh, sit down.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02OK, Jonny, it was really lovely to meet you
0:26:02 > 0:26:05and I hope I will see you in a different life.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08I don't think you'll be that lucky, baby.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18'I hope I will see you in a different life.'
0:26:23 > 0:26:25# Yeah, we live in Boom Town
0:26:25 > 0:26:27# Where? Yo, we live in Boom Town
0:26:27 > 0:26:33# Yeah, yo, we live in Boom Town, yeah
0:26:33 > 0:26:36# It's the B to the O to the O-M Town,
0:26:36 > 0:26:39# Crazy-ass people all around
0:26:39 > 0:26:41# Jump around to the funky sound
0:26:41 > 0:26:43# Girls looking fine as we get down
0:26:43 > 0:26:46# Now, welcome, everybody, to my city
0:26:46 > 0:26:49# Now, let's get down, hell, to the nitty-gritty
0:26:49 > 0:26:52# And give you all something spanking
0:26:52 > 0:26:54# The shows and the girls and the money I'll be banking
0:26:54 > 0:26:57# Look at me, baby, they call me cutie
0:26:57 > 0:27:00# Cos it is my duty to cream that booty
0:27:00 > 0:27:02# Don't get vexed when I begin to flex
0:27:02 > 0:27:05# Cos, girls, you'll be paying me for my phone sex
0:27:05 > 0:27:07# I sometimes walk around in the nude
0:27:07 > 0:27:10# Got a zillion, trillion hits on YouTube
0:27:10 > 0:27:13# Stills that we got are too hot for you now
0:27:13 > 0:27:16# Where nothing seems real when you live in Boom Town
0:27:16 > 0:27:19# It's the B to the O to the O-M Town
0:27:19 > 0:27:22# Crazy-ass people all around
0:27:22 > 0:27:24# Jump around to the funky sound
0:27:24 > 0:27:29# They call me J to the O to the N-N-Y
0:27:29 > 0:27:32# With a Nash at the end cos I'm pretty fly
0:27:32 > 0:27:34# My name is known all over town
0:27:34 > 0:27:37# By all the foxy ladies that let me go down
0:27:37 > 0:27:39# I'm going down in history
0:27:39 > 0:27:42# As the baddest mo-fo that you ever will see
0:27:42 > 0:27:45# When it comes to the sex, ladies, put away the cash
0:27:45 > 0:27:48# Cos you ain't gotta pay for that legendary Nash Bash
0:27:48 > 0:27:51# It's the B to the O to the O-M Town
0:27:51 > 0:27:53# Crazy-ass people all around
0:27:53 > 0:27:56# Jump around to the funky sound
0:27:56 > 0:27:59# Girls looking fine as we get down
0:27:59 > 0:28:01# Yeah, yo, we live in Boom Town
0:28:01 > 0:28:04# Yeah, yo, we live in Boom Town
0:28:04 > 0:28:07# Yeah, yo we live in Boom Town
0:28:07 > 0:28:08# Yeah
0:28:08 > 0:28:10# Now. #
0:28:10 > 0:28:12GIRLS LAUGH
0:28:12 > 0:28:14Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd