Episode 9

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04One rule - touch the prize, win the prize.

0:00:07 > 0:00:09But doing that takes a whole load of this...

0:00:09 > 0:00:11SIREN BLARES

0:00:14 > 0:00:16..a ridiculous amount of this...

0:00:20 > 0:00:23..and absolutely masses of this.

0:00:24 > 0:00:25MAN SCREAMS

0:00:32 > 0:00:32This...

0:00:32 > 0:00:34is Can't Touch This!

0:00:49 > 0:00:51Hello, and welcome to Can't Touch This.

0:00:51 > 0:00:53- I'm Zoe Ball.- And I'm Ashley Banjo.

0:00:53 > 0:00:56And right now, our gargantuan Can't Touch This course is

0:00:56 > 0:01:00spotlessly clean, pristine, and untouched by human hands.

0:01:00 > 0:01:02But shortly, an awful lot of human hands will be

0:01:02 > 0:01:05entering its domain and attempting to do plenty of touching as

0:01:05 > 0:01:08they battle to win some fantastic prizes,

0:01:08 > 0:01:10including a brand-new car.

0:01:10 > 0:01:14Yes, our cleaners might not like it, but we love it.

0:01:14 > 0:01:17As does our co-host and commentator, Sue Perkins,

0:01:17 > 0:01:20whose first duty is to introduce tonight's Can't Touch This

0:01:20 > 0:01:21crew of contestants.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Sue, over to you.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27Yes, let's meet tonight's contestants.

0:01:27 > 0:01:29They are brave, they are bold,

0:01:29 > 0:01:31they're heavily sedated.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34Tonight, these mighty warriors will attempt to make their families,

0:01:34 > 0:01:35if not their country, proud.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Within their ranks we have

0:01:37 > 0:01:40a marine biologist from Devon who's easily startled,

0:01:40 > 0:01:43a violinist from London who likes to point at her missing violin,

0:01:43 > 0:01:45and a bearded biker.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48He can do what he likes. Would you argue with him?

0:01:48 > 0:01:53They are all hoping they can touch this tonight.

0:01:53 > 0:01:54And it starts here.

0:01:54 > 0:01:57The catapult sends our contestants on a short

0:01:57 > 0:01:59but exhilarating flight into a foam pit.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02Then it's on to the travelator.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04They borrowed this one from my bathroom.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06High above is the first touch-point.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08Touch it and bank a romantic trip to Paris,

0:02:08 > 0:02:10which is French for Paris.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12Also on the travelator, touch-point 2,

0:02:12 > 0:02:14which banks a set of four mountain bikes,

0:02:14 > 0:02:17which is French for four mountain bikes.

0:02:17 > 0:02:20But one foul step on the travelator and you'll be in the drink.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22Then it's a short trip to Stack Em High.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24Just build a tower to reach touch-point number 3

0:02:24 > 0:02:26and bank a laptop,

0:02:26 > 0:02:28just like the one you're watching this on.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31Then take the mighty pole across the water to the beam.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34Dodge the swinging punch bags to reach the fourth touch-point

0:02:34 > 0:02:36and bank a very fancy tablet.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38You'll need tablets if those hit you.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41Next, it's down the slide to the two swinging touch-points.

0:02:41 > 0:02:43They bank you a suitcase and some garden furniture

0:02:43 > 0:02:47because you never know when you may need to pack your garden furniture.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50The last touch-point stops the clock and banks a coffee machine,

0:02:50 > 0:02:52because that's exactly what your heart needs at the end of this -

0:02:52 > 0:02:54caffeine.

0:02:54 > 0:02:56Each touch-point they miss, they get a 30-second penalty.

0:02:56 > 0:02:58And whoever gets through to the end of the show

0:02:58 > 0:03:00gets the chance to win what they have banked.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Don't blame me. I normally do documentaries.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06We are just moments away from the start of Round 1.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Which means we are even fewer moments away

0:03:08 > 0:03:10from discovering who is up first.

0:03:10 > 0:03:11Let's find out.

0:03:16 > 0:03:18First up is Gary from Glasgow.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21He wants to open his own art gallery.

0:03:21 > 0:03:23Gary, you're an art enthusiast,

0:03:23 > 0:03:25so paint us a picture of how your performance is going to go tonight.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28Well, I'm hopefully going to have a performance

0:03:28 > 0:03:31that's a masterpiece this evening, Zoe.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33- Ah, no less.- No less.

0:03:33 > 0:03:34That's what we expect from you.

0:03:34 > 0:03:37- Off to the catapult. Good luck. - Thank you.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40The artist formerly known as Gary in the catapult there.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42Will he have a brush with death?

0:03:42 > 0:03:44That's an art joke. I'm here for an hour.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46Start the clock!

0:03:46 > 0:03:48SIREN BLARES, GARY SHOUTS

0:03:48 > 0:03:54MUSIC: Ooh Aah... Just a Little Bit by Gina G

0:03:54 > 0:03:57Well, he's out of the foam and onto the travelator.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00The first touch-point banks a trip to Paris.

0:04:00 > 0:04:01Go on, yes!

0:04:01 > 0:04:04- Ooh!- Ooh! He's going to have a bit of a bruised bum.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06Louvre-ly! Well done!

0:04:08 > 0:04:11Oh, my bloody God!

0:04:11 > 0:04:13LAUGHTER

0:04:13 > 0:04:16The second touch-point banks a set of four mountain bikes.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19Although, it might be two tandems. Not sure.

0:04:25 > 0:04:26Bye!

0:04:26 > 0:04:28Well, he probably couldn't ride a bike now,

0:04:28 > 0:04:29even if he did win one.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37Stack Em High. This third touch-point banks the computer.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40All Gary needs to do is build a tower to touch it.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43MUSIC: Macarena by Los Del Rio

0:04:43 > 0:04:45Oh, thank God!

0:04:45 > 0:04:46In the bank!

0:04:47 > 0:04:49And now to climb the admittedly melodramatic

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Wall of Doom!

0:04:51 > 0:04:53DRAMATIC MUSICAL FLOURISH

0:04:53 > 0:04:56Mmm, coincidence. That's the ring tone for my ex.

0:04:56 > 0:04:57I've got no...

0:04:57 > 0:05:00Gary taking a minimalist approach here.

0:05:01 > 0:05:02Don't give up yet.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05Yes, yes. Yes.

0:05:05 > 0:05:06Yes, thank you.

0:05:06 > 0:05:12MUSIC: Witch Doctor by Cartoons

0:05:12 > 0:05:13- Oh!- Look at that.

0:05:13 > 0:05:15Loving your sculpture, Gary.

0:05:15 > 0:05:16Thank you.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18- Modern art, darling.- Modern art!

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Truly a masterstroke.

0:05:22 > 0:05:26He's triumphed over the wall, but now faces the pole vault.

0:05:26 > 0:05:27Oh, come on!

0:05:27 > 0:05:30Now, I don't know art, but I know what I like...

0:05:30 > 0:05:32I'm going to fall.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34And I don't like that.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48Well done, Gary!

0:05:48 > 0:05:50You all right?

0:05:50 > 0:05:51I'm fine.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53"I'm fine!"

0:05:53 > 0:05:54Ah, Gary, you're amazing.

0:05:56 > 0:05:59Gary's onto the beam. Isn't that a pretty picture?

0:05:59 > 0:06:00The touch-point is just underneath the beam

0:06:00 > 0:06:02and it banks a fancy tablet.

0:06:02 > 0:06:09MUSIC: I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) By The Proclaimers

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Oh, he's got it!

0:06:18 > 0:06:21Oh, no!

0:06:21 > 0:06:23Ooh, that punch bag nearly took his ear off...

0:06:23 > 0:06:24Van Gogh joke.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27I don't have much to work with here.

0:06:27 > 0:06:29Oh, this is horrible!

0:06:33 > 0:06:36Please, Lord, let the horror end!

0:06:36 > 0:06:39Lucky for him, it nearly has.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42The only thing between Gary and the end of the course

0:06:42 > 0:06:45is a giant slide and two swinging touch-points

0:06:45 > 0:06:47which bank a suitcase and the garden furniture.

0:06:47 > 0:06:50Though, I imagine the last thing on his mind right now

0:06:50 > 0:06:51is jazzing up the patio.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55And he's got the suitcase!

0:06:55 > 0:06:57Stops the clock and banks the coffee machine.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00You done well. You banked yourself a trip to Paris,

0:07:00 > 0:07:03laptop, tablet, garden furniture, and coffee machine.

0:07:03 > 0:07:05But I don't actually get them now, do I?

0:07:05 > 0:07:07- No.- I have to win them. - You've got to win them later on.

0:07:07 > 0:07:10- He knows the rules.- You swines.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12Thank you, Gary, for the well-timed explanation.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15We add two 30-second penalties, one for each touch-point missed,

0:07:15 > 0:07:17giving the Artist formerly known as Gary a grand total

0:07:17 > 0:07:19of 6 minutes, 23 seconds.

0:07:20 > 0:07:25Next up is Nick, whose interests include ruling the galaxy.

0:07:25 > 0:07:27Nick, you're a huge Star Wars fan.

0:07:27 > 0:07:31The end of Round 1 is far, far away. Do you think you'll make it?

0:07:31 > 0:07:33I'm going all the way to the dark side.

0:07:33 > 0:07:34Oh, fantastic. OK.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Well, may the course be with you.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39- Off to the catapult.- Thank you. - I know, I'm sorry.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42Cue the royalty-free music.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44STAR WARS-LIKE MUSIC

0:07:44 > 0:07:46- IMITATES DARTH VADER: - Darth Griffin launches...

0:07:46 > 0:07:48- SHE CLEARS THROAT - Sorry.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50Darth Griffin launches like a laser from the Death Star.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54- Boom!- Trooper.

0:07:54 > 0:07:56He Jar Jar banks it.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58Oh! Look at that running.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01That is like Daniel Craig Bond running.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05Mm, the Dark Side is strong with this one.

0:08:05 > 0:08:08Let's see if we can find a Jedi princess to battle him.

0:08:10 > 0:08:11No, not a wookie.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13Oh, that's more like it.

0:08:14 > 0:08:17Say hello to Kate, a business owner from Little Hampton.

0:08:17 > 0:08:20She has three kids, loves netball, but forget all of that

0:08:20 > 0:08:23because she's going to pretend she's a flying Princess Leia.

0:08:27 > 0:08:29SHE SCREECHES

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Sounds a little bit like angry Chewbacca.

0:08:33 > 0:08:34HE IMITATES CHEWBACCA

0:08:38 > 0:08:39For the mountain bikes and...

0:08:39 > 0:08:42Ooh, no.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Ooh.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Kate...

0:08:48 > 0:08:49- Kate...- Come on.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51Use the force, Kate.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57Yes!

0:08:58 > 0:09:00That was amazing!

0:09:00 > 0:09:04- She deserves those mountain bikes. - Ah, Kate, you are my hero.

0:09:04 > 0:09:05She worked hard for them.

0:09:05 > 0:09:08Meanwhile, in the Stack Em High Quadrant,

0:09:08 > 0:09:09they both bank a laptop.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11- Ah!- Ooh!

0:09:13 > 0:09:16The path of the Jedi is apparently just up over the Wall Of Doom.

0:09:16 > 0:09:18- OK, ready?- Go.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20- IMITATES YODA:- Do well on this course he must,

0:09:20 > 0:09:22to win the car he will.

0:09:22 > 0:09:23Yes!

0:09:23 > 0:09:25I've always wanted to do Yoda on telly.

0:09:25 > 0:09:27Oh, man!

0:09:29 > 0:09:32Where's the Millennium Falcon when you need it?

0:09:32 > 0:09:34Yeah...

0:09:34 > 0:09:36not down there.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39Right, Nick at the pole now.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41MUSIC STOPS

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Pain, he must feel.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49- Now the beam. - SOUND OF LIGHTSABERS SWISHING

0:09:49 > 0:09:51I see the sound effects guys have brought their toys in.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53It's like Christmas for them.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08Yes!

0:10:11 > 0:10:12Yes, he done it!

0:10:21 > 0:10:24And yes! Jedi Kate clears the beam!

0:10:24 > 0:10:26She's good, she's good, she's good, she's good, she's good.

0:10:26 > 0:10:28- IMITATES DARTH VADER:- Your evilness

0:10:28 > 0:10:30has clouded your judgment, Darth Griffin.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32Into the foam pit with you.

0:10:32 > 0:10:34- No!- Boo! After all that!

0:10:38 > 0:10:39Right, this is it.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42If Jedi Kate can get those two swinging touch-points,

0:10:42 > 0:10:45she will save the galaxy. No pressure.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48OK. Guess the galaxy's going to have to wait.

0:10:48 > 0:10:52She stops the clock with a time of 6.23, including penalties.

0:10:55 > 0:10:58And the empire strikes back, Nick banks the suitcase,

0:10:58 > 0:11:01defeats his foe and clocks a well-earned time

0:11:01 > 0:11:03of 4.27, including penalties.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07Nick, how was that for you?

0:11:07 > 0:11:11That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

0:11:11 > 0:11:14- Ah! That's freezing!- It's freezing cold, isn't it?- It's really cold.

0:11:14 > 0:11:18Now, Heera has a secret and he doesn't want us to mention it.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20And, of course, the thing you can count on us for

0:11:20 > 0:11:22is absolute discretion.

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Now, Heera, I've heard a careless whisper

0:11:24 > 0:11:26that your guilty pleasure is a little bit of George Michael.

0:11:26 > 0:11:28I was wishing you didn't say that.

0:11:28 > 0:11:30Ashley obviously didn't get that e-mail.

0:11:30 > 0:11:33Time to Wham your way through the course, Heera.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37MUSIC: Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham!

0:11:38 > 0:11:41Heera he comes!

0:11:42 > 0:11:44And there he goes.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50Oh, that was a good dunk!

0:11:53 > 0:11:56Someone really wants those bikes.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58There's so many of them, you could set up a shop.

0:12:01 > 0:12:03No mountain bikes for Heera.

0:12:03 > 0:12:05Do you know any George Michael songs?

0:12:05 > 0:12:08Touch a different corner and we never would have met.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10- Is that a George Michael song? - Yeah. Yeah.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12Different Corner - it's like a proper smoochy one.

0:12:12 > 0:12:13It's one of my favourites.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15Ah, this is one of my favourites.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17- Yes!- Boom!- Laptop.

0:12:17 > 0:12:19Laptop there for Heera.

0:12:19 > 0:12:21Now the Wall Of Doom.

0:12:21 > 0:12:22Gotta have faith, Heera.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24Also, upper body strength helps.

0:12:24 > 0:12:27MUSIC: Faith by George Michael

0:12:27 > 0:12:29- Oh!- Oh!

0:12:30 > 0:12:32- Oh, yes. Can he?- Go on.

0:12:32 > 0:12:35- Come on, Heera.- Use the big bit of cheese.- Leg up, leg up.

0:12:35 > 0:12:38Oh. Oh, so close. Oh, this is frustrating.

0:12:38 > 0:12:40I think he can do it. Can he do it? Can he do it?

0:12:40 > 0:12:43So while we're holding on for a Heera,

0:12:43 > 0:12:44let's have a look at Fiona.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47She likes playing in the water.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50- Now, Fiona, you have a degree in marine biology.- I do.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52Are you going to be all at sea today?

0:12:52 > 0:12:54I think I'm probably going to be

0:12:54 > 0:12:55like a fish out of water, to be honest.

0:12:55 > 0:13:00More like a fish straight out of a catapult.

0:13:00 > 0:13:01Which is exactly where we find her.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04Wonder if she'll find any signs of life down there.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07At least she'll be able to name them, classify them.

0:13:07 > 0:13:10Oh, she's been regurgitated by the foam pit.

0:13:10 > 0:13:13MUSIC: Under The Sea from The Little Mermaid

0:13:13 > 0:13:16Now, the trip to Paris is just within reach.

0:13:16 > 0:13:17Trip to Paris!

0:13:17 > 0:13:19- Yeah!- Oh la la!

0:13:19 > 0:13:21That's going to smart!

0:13:21 > 0:13:23Oh, no. She's in the water.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25Oh, possibly happy about that.

0:13:25 > 0:13:28Now the small matter of four mountain bikes.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30SHE SHRIEKS

0:13:30 > 0:13:32Quick dolphin impression there from Fiona.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Just reminding us of her credentials.

0:13:34 > 0:13:37Fiona floated straight to the top of Stack Em High

0:13:37 > 0:13:39and banked the tablet.

0:13:39 > 0:13:43We know she has no fear of water, but what about the massive pole?

0:13:45 > 0:13:46Straight down it.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Any signs of marine life down there, Fiona?

0:13:50 > 0:13:52I'm an octopus.

0:13:52 > 0:13:53I think that's concussion.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55Let's go back to Heera.

0:13:57 > 0:14:00Mm, go back to Fiona.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03Fiona's on the beam.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Cue Jaws-type music.

0:14:05 > 0:14:09JAWS-TYPE MUSIC

0:14:09 > 0:14:11- Ooh!- Ooh!

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Wow!

0:14:13 > 0:14:16- She's going to have to get flat. Get...!- Oh!

0:14:16 > 0:14:17Oh, she gets it!

0:14:17 > 0:14:20She gets it again and again

0:14:20 > 0:14:22right on the tush.

0:14:25 > 0:14:27Just the slide now into water

0:14:27 > 0:14:30or 'the office', as she calls it.

0:14:34 > 0:14:37And our little mermaid banks the suitcase and the garden furniture,

0:14:37 > 0:14:40and stops the clock at 6.37, including penalties.

0:14:40 > 0:14:43Your technique on the travelator there was awesome.

0:14:43 > 0:14:47You weren't giving up, you did go splat.

0:14:47 > 0:14:49You did a nice head-first into the water,

0:14:49 > 0:14:51but you did manage to bank the trip to Paris.

0:14:51 > 0:14:52Oh!

0:14:52 > 0:14:53Meanwhile...

0:14:53 > 0:14:55HE SCREAMS

0:14:55 > 0:14:57..Heera is having a tough time of it.

0:14:57 > 0:15:01MUSIC: Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me by Elton John

0:15:01 > 0:15:02He's Whammed.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16He banks the suitcase... Just got time for a quick back stroke.

0:15:17 > 0:15:20And with a time of 6.16, including penalties,

0:15:20 > 0:15:22I bet he's glad that song is over.

0:15:22 > 0:15:25I thought you'd forgotten the last touch-point there for a moment.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28- That is hard. - It is so hard, isn't it?

0:15:28 > 0:15:30- Oh!- Yeah.- Did you enjoy any of it?

0:15:30 > 0:15:32Eh...

0:15:33 > 0:15:36Here comes Fireman Stu.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39He once won the prestigious title of London's Fittest Firefighter.

0:15:39 > 0:15:41I've got the calendar.

0:15:41 > 0:15:44Stuart, you came first in a competition to find

0:15:44 > 0:15:45London's fittest firefighter.

0:15:45 > 0:15:47So, are you all fired up for tonight?

0:15:47 > 0:15:50Yeah, that was a long time ago, Ashley, to be fair,

0:15:50 > 0:15:52but, hopefully, I've still got what it takes

0:15:52 > 0:15:54to set the course on fire and burn it up.

0:15:54 > 0:15:55We'll do the jokes, Stu.

0:15:55 > 0:15:56Eventually.

0:15:56 > 0:16:01Oh! So, one of London's fittest firemen.

0:16:01 > 0:16:02I've got high hopes for him.

0:16:02 > 0:16:06And it's a speedy start for Fireman Stu. He's on fire!

0:16:06 > 0:16:09Boom! Trip to Paris banked

0:16:09 > 0:16:10and the bikes, too.

0:16:10 > 0:16:12See? What did I tell you? Easy.

0:16:15 > 0:16:20MUSIC: Disco Inferno by The Trammps

0:16:20 > 0:16:22Onto Stack Em High.

0:16:22 > 0:16:26Just imagine there's a stranded cat up there, Stu.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32Would you let him save you from a burning building, Zoe?

0:16:32 > 0:16:34Oh, yes, I would.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38Fireman Stu hardly even noticed the wall.

0:16:38 > 0:16:41It's almost like you've come across walls before, Stu.

0:16:41 > 0:16:44Now, surely a fireman can handle a pole.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46Oh! You've let your profession down.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48He's had a lot of practice at that.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56Fireman Stu fired up, out of the water and onto the beam.

0:16:56 > 0:16:58- Ooh!- Ooh! Look at that!

0:16:58 > 0:17:01A fantastic effort and no massive punch bag

0:17:01 > 0:17:02can extinguish that flame.

0:17:04 > 0:17:06Oh, look at that. Banked the tablet.

0:17:06 > 0:17:10MUSIC: Relight My Fire by Take That

0:17:10 > 0:17:12Apart from that massive punch bag.

0:17:13 > 0:17:15Let's see what his ladder work is like.

0:17:15 > 0:17:17Excellent.

0:17:17 > 0:17:20Look at that. That's how firemen do it.

0:17:23 > 0:17:26He's quicker up the ladder than most people are across the beam.

0:17:26 > 0:17:28Good time here from Stu.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31He's banked them both. Great effort, Fireman Stu.

0:17:31 > 0:17:34Hope we didn't put you out.

0:17:34 > 0:17:37As he stops the clock with a time of 2.38, including penalties.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40Stuart, you are on fire. All the prizes banked for you.

0:17:40 > 0:17:42Out of everything, what excites you the most?

0:17:42 > 0:17:44- The trampoline and the garden furniture.- OK.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46Cos we need both. My little girl will love the trampoline.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49- Oh, fantastic. Poppy, isn't he cool? - Poppy.- Your dad's amazing.

0:17:49 > 0:17:52- Nice ladder work there. - Thank you very much.- OK, well done.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54I thought Zoe spent more time with him than the others.

0:17:54 > 0:17:57Anyway, let's go to the Round 1 leaderboard.

0:17:57 > 0:18:02Amazing work by Fireman Stu with top spot and a blazing time of 2.38.

0:18:02 > 0:18:04Meanwhile, our Little Mermaid Fiona

0:18:04 > 0:18:05sinks to the bottom with 6.37.

0:18:07 > 0:18:09Still to come on Can't Touch This,

0:18:09 > 0:18:13a cheerleader, a boy racer, a yogi

0:18:13 > 0:18:17and, holy game show, that lad's big!

0:18:17 > 0:18:21Will any of them make the top six and go on to leap for that car?

0:18:23 > 0:18:27This is Sophie. She's a classical musician.

0:18:27 > 0:18:30And this is Michael. He's a classic rock musician.

0:18:30 > 0:18:31I know what you're thinking.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34You're wondering which style of music is better on the pole.

0:18:34 > 0:18:37Well, there's only one way to find out.

0:18:37 > 0:18:41MUSIC: Dueling Banjos by Eric Weissberg and Steve Mandell

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Assuming actually they make it to the pole, that is.

0:18:48 > 0:18:49Ooh!

0:18:49 > 0:18:51Ooh!

0:19:02 > 0:19:04Oh! Classic pole. My...

0:19:04 > 0:19:06Ooh!

0:19:09 > 0:19:11SHE CHUCKLES

0:19:15 > 0:19:18Michael's next. Lovely frog's legs.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22Ah! Ah!

0:19:22 > 0:19:24- You all right, Michael?- Yeah, good.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26- A tiny bit winded. - A little bit winded, but it's...

0:19:26 > 0:19:28And I may never have children.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30I think we'll call that a no-score draw. No winners here.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33Sophie doesn't make the cut at 9.49,

0:19:33 > 0:19:37but music man Michael's on the leaderboard with 5.23.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39How did you find the pole, guys?

0:19:39 > 0:19:40- Slightly sore.- Slightly sore.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42Maybe a little bit winded from the pole vault?

0:19:42 > 0:19:44Very slightly, yeah.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48- I think it's just when you're so wet.- Yes.

0:19:48 > 0:19:51It's so slippery and your muscles are, like, gone already.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53Your muscles must be quite strong from playing the violin

0:19:53 > 0:19:55- and holding up... I imagine you're...- Only one.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58- Oh, just the one side. - Just the right arm.

0:20:01 > 0:20:03Meet Nathan.

0:20:03 > 0:20:04He feels the need,

0:20:04 > 0:20:07the need for speed.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09Nathan, you love a bit of Formula 1,

0:20:09 > 0:20:11so what's your formula for getting through our course?

0:20:11 > 0:20:14Speed is a big thing, so let's go out there and smash it.

0:20:14 > 0:20:15KLAXON

0:20:15 > 0:20:16NATHAN SCREAMS

0:20:20 > 0:20:22It's up there in my top five favourite catapult entrances.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25Definitely. He stayed seated the whole way.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28- Go on, Nathan.- Right, here we go, Formula 1 speed.- Oh!

0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Oh!- Look at him!

0:20:30 > 0:20:33Ooh, he's up, he's down, he's up, he's down.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Once had a pair of culottes like that.

0:20:37 > 0:20:38Oh!

0:20:42 > 0:20:43- I like it!- Boom!- Wow!

0:20:43 > 0:20:45Banked the mountain bike.

0:20:45 > 0:20:46He's on his feet.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49The Boy Racer's going to make the leap!

0:20:49 > 0:20:50Oh...

0:20:50 > 0:20:53SCREECHING AND BANGING

0:20:53 > 0:20:55Well, that's one way to get a flat stomach.

0:20:55 > 0:20:58Nathan is burning rubber, giving Fireman Stu a run for his money.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01Really motoring through it. Look at him. Look at that!

0:21:01 > 0:21:03Banked himself a laptop.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05Good old reliable Nathan.

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Oh! Look at that.

0:21:07 > 0:21:08Oh, my goodness.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10Nathan's now in pole position.

0:21:10 > 0:21:13MUSIC: Greased Lightning

0:21:13 > 0:21:14Oooh!

0:21:14 > 0:21:17Oh, and a very painful pole position.

0:21:17 > 0:21:19That was about four different impacts.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22- Face...- Boomf, boomf, boomf, boomf!- ..area.

0:21:23 > 0:21:26He might need a pit stop after this. That was like one of them cartoons,

0:21:26 > 0:21:30- he was getting hit from all angles. Boomf, boomf...- Whack, boom!

0:21:30 > 0:21:33Right. High beams on. Here goes the Boy Racer.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37How did he manage that?

0:21:37 > 0:21:39Banks a tablet and a sponsorship deal.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44He might just be the Lewis Hamilton of our course.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47Fastest lap so far and only the slide left.

0:21:50 > 0:21:52Oh, no, missed both touch-points

0:21:52 > 0:21:54and Nathan races past the finishing line

0:21:54 > 0:21:57- with a time of 3:17 after penalties. - KLAXON

0:21:57 > 0:22:00Do you think you've done enough to get yourself into pole position?

0:22:00 > 0:22:03Hopefully. Obviously I didn't touch the last two so

0:22:03 > 0:22:06hopefully I've made good enough time to get through to the second stage.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08A seriously good effort, I really enjoyed that.

0:22:08 > 0:22:09I think one of my favourites. Brilliant!

0:22:09 > 0:22:12I'm not allowed favourites. Completely impartial. Well done.

0:22:12 > 0:22:15Zoe spent quite a bit of time with him too.

0:22:15 > 0:22:17I'm noticing a pattern here.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20Can anyone hold a candle to fiery Fireman Stu?

0:22:20 > 0:22:21Well, not yet.

0:22:21 > 0:22:25Boy Racer Nathan takes second place, Music Man Michael takes fourth,

0:22:25 > 0:22:28and The Artist formerly known as Gary slips to the bottom spot.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32This peace-loving mum from Manchester is Jen.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35Jen once performed gymnastics for the Queen.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Who hasn't?! She didn't ask me.

0:22:37 > 0:22:40Jen, you've recently taken up yoga. Namaste.

0:22:40 > 0:22:42Do you think the course might be a bit of stretch for you today?

0:22:42 > 0:22:45Ah-ha-ha, Zoe, yo-got me there.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47Oh. So good, boom!

0:22:47 > 0:22:49And enough of that.

0:22:50 > 0:22:54Gymnastic Jen banked the trip to Paris, and a nice restful bath.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56There she goes.

0:22:56 > 0:22:57But she's right back at it.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59Come on, Jen!

0:22:59 > 0:23:00She's just liquidized her thighs.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03While Jen's meditating on her next moves,

0:23:03 > 0:23:05let's meet Sarah, a 28-year-old from Essex

0:23:05 > 0:23:08who's obsessed with a saucier form of gymnastic exercise.

0:23:08 > 0:23:10Not that.

0:23:10 > 0:23:12- Sarah, you go to pole dancing classes for fitness.- I do.

0:23:12 > 0:23:15It's very difficult stuff. I've tried it before in the past.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17Keep that a secret. So, we've got our own pole.

0:23:17 > 0:23:20- Are you looking forward to having a dance on it?- The difference

0:23:20 > 0:23:23between that pole and the pole that I do is the fact that it moves.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25Really? If that's the only difference then you're doing

0:23:25 > 0:23:27some very exotic pole dancing. Launch it!

0:23:27 > 0:23:28KLAXON

0:23:28 > 0:23:32- SHE SCREAMS - Oh, she's a screamer.

0:23:32 > 0:23:33SCREAM REPEATS

0:23:33 > 0:23:36Let's give our party-loving Polecat something to dance to.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38MUSIC: Just Can't Get Enough by Depeche Mode

0:23:38 > 0:23:39Ooof!

0:23:39 > 0:23:41- Paris!- Trip to Paris.

0:23:41 > 0:23:42Along with a face plant.

0:23:42 > 0:23:44Now Sarah is a mad keen cyclist

0:23:44 > 0:23:48and nothing on this earth is going to stop her getting those bikes.

0:23:48 > 0:23:49Oh, well.

0:23:49 > 0:23:53She's already got a bike. Probably.

0:23:53 > 0:23:55Things seem kind of more peaceful with yoga-loving Jen.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58That's the wobbly toddler pose, I believe.

0:23:58 > 0:24:01Oh, my God, are you serious?

0:24:01 > 0:24:03- Come on, Jen.- Go on, Jen.

0:24:03 > 0:24:06- Come on.- She can do, she can do it. Go on, a little,

0:24:06 > 0:24:09a little sort of jumpy bump.

0:24:09 > 0:24:10Go.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12- Boom!- Woohoo!

0:24:13 > 0:24:16- You do a bit of yoga, don't you? - I've done a bit of yoga in my time.

0:24:16 > 0:24:19You have? Oh, yeah, show us a move. Do the tree.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21MUSIC: Vogue by Madonna

0:24:23 > 0:24:25Nice. Oh, look at that.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27Oh, yeah, look. It's not bad.

0:24:27 > 0:24:28I went to Pilates once.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30I love the Greek Islands.

0:24:30 > 0:24:32Now, Jen, come over here, show us how it's done.

0:24:32 > 0:24:34Oh, that's right, sorry,

0:24:34 > 0:24:37you're in the middle of a televised assault course. Carry on.

0:24:41 > 0:24:42There we go.

0:24:42 > 0:24:45And now for Sarah's moment in the sun.

0:24:45 > 0:24:48I've been looking forward to this. I don't mind telling you.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50She is, after all, an expert on the pole.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53MUSIC: We Found Love by Rihanna

0:24:53 > 0:24:55- This is your moment. - It's a pole of a different kind.

0:24:55 > 0:24:58- Show us what you can do with a pole. - Any moves you want to show us,

0:24:58 > 0:24:59Sarah, then we'll all be very impressed.

0:24:59 > 0:25:02If anyone can do the pole it's...

0:25:02 > 0:25:03Not you.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07I don't know that I'd pay to see that.

0:25:12 > 0:25:13Back to Jen on the pole...

0:25:13 > 0:25:15It's all good.

0:25:15 > 0:25:18MUSIC: We Got The Funk by Positive Force

0:25:18 > 0:25:20SHE MUTTERS

0:25:20 > 0:25:22# Jen's got the funk

0:25:22 > 0:25:24# She's got the funk, yeah. #

0:25:26 > 0:25:28Right, here we go, the pole vault.

0:25:28 > 0:25:30- Oh...- Come on, Jen!

0:25:30 > 0:25:33Ooh.

0:25:38 > 0:25:41Seems like we're having a bit of bother today with the water.

0:25:41 > 0:25:45Give her minute, everyone, give her a minute.

0:25:45 > 0:25:46I think it might be time for...

0:25:46 > 0:25:48PIANO PLAYS

0:25:50 > 0:25:52Having trouble on the Can't Touch This Course?

0:25:52 > 0:25:54Odds are you've spent some time in the water.

0:25:54 > 0:25:57Luckily, you can count on Sue to help you wade your way through.

0:25:57 > 0:26:00I'm Sue.

0:26:00 > 0:26:03Firstly and most importantly, don't get wet in the first place.

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Water is slippery...

0:26:06 > 0:26:07SHE SCREAMS

0:26:10 > 0:26:12..and it's cold...

0:26:12 > 0:26:14Oh, my God!

0:26:15 > 0:26:17Oh, that's freezing!

0:26:17 > 0:26:19The water is freezing, definitely.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21..and disorientating.

0:26:25 > 0:26:30But if you do get wet, here are some important things to remember.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32Don't land head first.

0:26:35 > 0:26:36Don't breathe in the water.

0:26:38 > 0:26:41Don't let it dampen your resolve to win.

0:26:43 > 0:26:45And do it in style, because, when you're wet,

0:26:45 > 0:26:49you better believe we'll replay it in slow motion.

0:26:50 > 0:26:52Keep these tips in mind next time

0:26:52 > 0:26:54you're on a high-impact television assault course,

0:26:54 > 0:26:56and you might just come home dry.

0:26:56 > 0:26:59I mean, it's unlikely but you might.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01Now, let's get you out of those wet things.

0:27:01 > 0:27:03Jen and Sarah couldn't make the leaderboard,

0:27:03 > 0:27:06and Fireman Stu's still on top of the pole.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08All of which means The Artist formerly known as Gary

0:27:08 > 0:27:10is the one to beat.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13Is Chloe up to the challenge?

0:27:14 > 0:27:16Chloe, you are a gymnastic cheerleading coach.

0:27:16 > 0:27:19So, at the end of this course, are you going to be cheering

0:27:19 > 0:27:22- and more importantly leading?- I hope that I'm going to be cheering.

0:27:22 > 0:27:24I hope I'm going to be doing both all the way down the slide.

0:27:24 > 0:27:27Oh, I hope so! Let's skip ahead and find out if she does.

0:27:27 > 0:27:29- Where's the remote? - MUSIC: Benny Hill Theme

0:27:29 > 0:27:31MUSIC: Chariots Of Fire Theme

0:27:31 > 0:27:34Oh, my, that's a graceful jump. Sorry, distracted there.

0:27:34 > 0:27:37MUSIC: Benny Hill Theme

0:27:40 > 0:27:43I tell you what, for a petite girl she's got some reach.

0:27:43 > 0:27:46- Yes!- What a technique, she's got something banked.

0:27:48 > 0:27:49Stop, stop, stop! Look!

0:27:49 > 0:27:51Look at the size of that thing she's lifting!

0:27:51 > 0:27:54It's astounding. Right, we can carry on.

0:27:57 > 0:28:00Over the pole, and onto the beam...

0:28:02 > 0:28:03..and...

0:28:03 > 0:28:05ZOE GASPS

0:28:05 > 0:28:08MUSIC: The Washington Post March by John Philip Sousa

0:28:12 > 0:28:14That was quite a fall, wasn't it?

0:28:16 > 0:28:18And here's the moment we've all been waiting for.

0:28:18 > 0:28:22MUSIC: The Stars And Stripes Forever by John Philip Sousa

0:28:22 > 0:28:23What? No cheer?

0:28:23 > 0:28:25I feel cheated.

0:28:25 > 0:28:26KLAXON

0:28:26 > 0:28:29Chloe, how did you find that?

0:28:29 > 0:28:31That was so tough, it's just so cold...

0:28:31 > 0:28:34- Come in, come in.- ..and you can't breathe properly.- Use my warmth.

0:28:34 > 0:28:36- Thank you.- Do you think you've done enough

0:28:36 > 0:28:37to get through to the next round?

0:28:37 > 0:28:39I don't know, I'll just have to wait and see.

0:28:39 > 0:28:41Oh, and Chloe wishes she'd pressed fast forward.

0:28:41 > 0:28:44Her final time of 7:13 knocks her out of contention.

0:28:46 > 0:28:47This bad boy is Steve.

0:28:47 > 0:28:51He has a beard and also lots of tattoos. Bad!

0:28:51 > 0:28:52Squaring up against him is Andy.

0:28:52 > 0:28:56He has one of those stubbly beards, but also lots of tattoos.

0:28:56 > 0:28:57Semi-bad.

0:28:57 > 0:28:59It's a battle of Beard vs Designer Stubble.

0:28:59 > 0:29:00I've got both.

0:29:00 > 0:29:02- KLAXON - Start the clocks!

0:29:04 > 0:29:06KLAXON

0:29:07 > 0:29:09Star jump!

0:29:09 > 0:29:12MUSIC: Jump by Van Halen

0:29:12 > 0:29:14Designer Stubble Andy makes the leap...

0:29:15 > 0:29:17..and only dunks one toe!

0:29:17 > 0:29:18Ooof, very manly!

0:29:18 > 0:29:20Here we go.

0:29:20 > 0:29:22Oh, go on. Rolling, rolling! Go on!

0:29:22 > 0:29:24Oh, we got a slam dunk.

0:29:24 > 0:29:25Keep going. Go on, Andy!

0:29:25 > 0:29:27- Yes!- Yes!

0:29:27 > 0:29:30- Ah, right.- Let's go over, don't get wet.- Can he...?

0:29:30 > 0:29:34- Oh, ow. He didn't get wet. - Can he power jump it?- Skills!

0:29:34 > 0:29:37- Skills.- Come on.- Come on, Andy. - Come on.

0:29:37 > 0:29:39Oh, yes!

0:29:46 > 0:29:47Here comes Steve with the Beard.

0:29:47 > 0:29:50Banked the Paris trip, skids...

0:29:50 > 0:29:51and rolls.

0:29:51 > 0:29:54- That looked... He stayed... Ah, yes.- Stopped himself.- Skills.

0:29:54 > 0:29:56Can he bank the bikes?

0:29:57 > 0:29:58Ooh, no.

0:29:58 > 0:30:02Wouldn't get that beard wet, you won't be able to lift your head.

0:30:02 > 0:30:06The pole and Designer Stubble Andy is up and...

0:30:09 > 0:30:10Oh.

0:30:13 > 0:30:14Straight into the wall there.

0:30:14 > 0:30:17Perhaps we should play some heavy metal as inspiration.

0:30:17 > 0:30:19HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS

0:30:19 > 0:30:21No, didn't help.

0:30:21 > 0:30:23He was like a little koala bear there.

0:30:24 > 0:30:26The beam! And whose beard will win out?

0:30:28 > 0:30:31- Oh, no.- Ooof, straight to the pelvis.

0:30:32 > 0:30:35MUSIC: Enter Sandman by Metallica

0:30:39 > 0:30:41Oh, neither beard wins.

0:30:41 > 0:30:42Close shave though.

0:30:47 > 0:30:49But they're back up at the slide,

0:30:49 > 0:30:51Designer Stubbly Andy misses the swinging touch-points

0:30:51 > 0:30:54- but he stops the clock at 5:05. - KLAXON

0:30:57 > 0:31:00But Beardy Steve cleverly banks them both and stops his clock

0:31:00 > 0:31:03- at 4:46 with penalties. - KLAXON

0:31:05 > 0:31:07The course is designed to be tough. I know you love motorbikes -

0:31:07 > 0:31:10you're a bit of an adrenaline junkie. How was it for you?

0:31:10 > 0:31:13- Way tough.- Way tough?- Way tough!

0:31:13 > 0:31:15Do you think you've done enough?

0:31:15 > 0:31:16No, I don't think so.

0:31:16 > 0:31:17But he has!

0:31:17 > 0:31:20Steve and Andy have roughed their way into fourth and fifth place.

0:31:20 > 0:31:22Musical Michael slipped into the bottom.

0:31:22 > 0:31:24Sadly, time for some goodbyes.

0:31:24 > 0:31:27MUSIC: See You Later, Alligator by Bill Hayley & His Comets

0:31:27 > 0:31:30Mandy, you came and you gave without taking, but we sent you away.

0:31:32 > 0:31:34So long, cheerful Chloe,

0:31:34 > 0:31:36Heera, who went "Wham!",

0:31:36 > 0:31:38Sarah the Polecat,

0:31:38 > 0:31:40and The Artist formerly known as Gary.

0:31:42 > 0:31:44Sophie, the violins are playing for you.

0:31:44 > 0:31:47Gymnastic Jen and Jedi Kate.

0:31:47 > 0:31:49Farewell, Can't Touch This compatriots.

0:31:49 > 0:31:51It's been emotional.

0:31:51 > 0:31:52We're nearly at the end of Round One

0:31:52 > 0:31:55and nobody's extinguished Fireman Stu's flame.

0:31:55 > 0:31:58Think it's safe to say he's got that top spot well and truly...

0:31:58 > 0:32:01Hang on a minute, what the massive man-hunk is this?

0:32:01 > 0:32:04MUSIC: Forget You by CeeLo Green

0:32:04 > 0:32:06MUSIC WINDS TO A HALT

0:32:06 > 0:32:10- Toby, you're a member of the GB bobsleigh team?- Yeah.

0:32:10 > 0:32:13So how do you feel about bobbing and weaving around our course?

0:32:13 > 0:32:16Bobtastic, and a little bit unbe-weavable.

0:32:16 > 0:32:18THEY LAUGH

0:32:18 > 0:32:20KLAXON

0:32:20 > 0:32:22MUSIC: Ski Sunday Theme

0:32:23 > 0:32:24Look at him go.

0:32:27 > 0:32:30Toby bobbling along, making great time there.

0:32:32 > 0:32:34Boom, banks the trip to Paris.

0:32:34 > 0:32:36Yes, Toby, I'd be delighted to come.

0:32:44 > 0:32:45- Oh!- Ooh!

0:32:45 > 0:32:48And hydroplaning only seems to help our champion bobsledder,

0:32:48 > 0:32:52who's now banked the first two prizes without even trying.

0:32:53 > 0:32:55But, wait, here comes the leap!

0:33:01 > 0:33:04Oh, we might have to get another one of those.

0:33:04 > 0:33:06He's going to break the course if he's not careful.

0:33:06 > 0:33:07Stack Em High now.

0:33:08 > 0:33:12- Oh, never, one...- Just one? - ..one block?- Yeah, come on.

0:33:12 > 0:33:13- Never.- Come on.

0:33:16 > 0:33:18Come on, Toby!

0:33:18 > 0:33:21- Oh, that's slightly hysterical. - Laptop in the bank!

0:33:23 > 0:33:25- Ah, ooh.- Ooh, right.

0:33:25 > 0:33:29This is where power to weight plays, power to weight plays a part here.

0:33:29 > 0:33:31Shut up, Ashley.

0:33:31 > 0:33:33Yeah, shut up, Ashley. Toby's the man.

0:33:33 > 0:33:35He's my man. (Toby.)

0:33:35 > 0:33:37Are you going to do it, Toby?

0:33:40 > 0:33:41He's not the man.

0:33:45 > 0:33:46You do it, then.

0:33:46 > 0:33:48- He's not the man.- Oh...

0:33:48 > 0:33:50- There's only one set of muscles here, Toby.- Was that fun, Toby?

0:33:50 > 0:33:52- And they're right here. - Yeah, it was awesome!

0:33:52 > 0:33:54- Want to do that again. - ZOE LAUGHS

0:33:54 > 0:33:56He wants to do it again!

0:33:56 > 0:33:58And now to the beam.

0:34:00 > 0:34:02Even the bean bag wants a hug with him.

0:34:02 > 0:34:04Ooh, Toby, that was unbelievable!

0:34:04 > 0:34:07- Nicely done, Toby. - Man-handled the course there.

0:34:07 > 0:34:08Oh, no!

0:34:14 > 0:34:16Just missing a dancer's touch there, Toby.

0:34:21 > 0:34:24All right, Toby, this is it. Three touch-points away.

0:34:28 > 0:34:29And he's got all three

0:34:29 > 0:34:32with a time of 4 minutes, 10 seconds after penalties.

0:34:32 > 0:34:34Not enough to take Fireman Stu's top spot

0:34:34 > 0:34:37but he does slide into impressive third place.

0:34:37 > 0:34:39Oh, hello. Zoe's got him cornered.

0:34:39 > 0:34:41That was ridiculous. Ridiculous.

0:34:41 > 0:34:43This is a man who does bobsleighing,

0:34:43 > 0:34:45and you're saying this is ridiculous.

0:34:45 > 0:34:47Bobsleighing is way more easier than this!

0:34:47 > 0:34:49- Bobsleighing is easier?- Yes!

0:34:49 > 0:34:51Stand up, stand up, I just want to stand next to you

0:34:51 > 0:34:54and just like... Oh, wow, hi.

0:34:54 > 0:34:55LAUGHTER

0:34:55 > 0:34:58I'm just holding on to the side here for a little minute.

0:34:58 > 0:34:59Yeah.

0:34:59 > 0:35:00Get in line, Zoe.

0:35:06 > 0:35:08- Well, well, well.- Well, well.

0:35:08 > 0:35:10- Impressive skills today from many of our contestants.- Yep.

0:35:10 > 0:35:12Good travelator action.

0:35:12 > 0:35:15Big Toby with the big slip, he nearly broke the course.

0:35:15 > 0:35:18- That's got to hurt.- If you've got some padding, it might help.- OK.

0:35:18 > 0:35:21- But it's not nice.- Some great getting up from Stack Em High

0:35:21 > 0:35:24- to the pole vault.- Yeah. Some really scary moments.

0:35:24 > 0:35:27Sophie went back and she managed to save herself, good landing, Sophie.

0:35:27 > 0:35:30But, right now, there's only one thing on everyone's mind.

0:35:30 > 0:35:32Who has made it through to Round Two?

0:35:32 > 0:35:33Let's take a look.

0:35:33 > 0:35:36Stuart's Chariot of Fire crosses the end in first place.

0:35:36 > 0:35:38Boy Racer Nathan rolls in second.

0:35:38 > 0:35:40Big Toby claims third.

0:35:40 > 0:35:43Nick's Dark Side forces him into fourth place.

0:35:43 > 0:35:46Both Steve and his own beard share the fifth spot

0:35:46 > 0:35:49and Designer Stubbly Andy clings onto number six.

0:35:54 > 0:35:57So after getting soaked, running, falling, jumping

0:35:57 > 0:35:58and getting soaked some more,

0:35:58 > 0:36:01what can our contestants expect from Round Two?

0:36:01 > 0:36:04Oh, more of the same, I'm pleased to tell you.

0:36:04 > 0:36:07And it all kicks off on spinning platforms which -

0:36:07 > 0:36:09yup, you guessed it - have started spinning.

0:36:09 > 0:36:12From the platforms, contestants move on to Clamber Crossing.

0:36:12 > 0:36:14They clamber across the crossing, to a set of touch-points,

0:36:14 > 0:36:16which bank the trampoline.

0:36:16 > 0:36:18But there are only five touch-points,

0:36:18 > 0:36:20so one contestant will miss out and leave the game.

0:36:20 > 0:36:22After a quick sit down, they're off again

0:36:22 > 0:36:25through the water and up the uneven stairs to the rings.

0:36:25 > 0:36:27As they attempt to make their way to the four touch-points

0:36:27 > 0:36:29and bank a fridge freezer.

0:36:29 > 0:36:32Five into four don't go, so another contestant will be eliminated

0:36:32 > 0:36:34before they set off again to the Dropping Ropes.

0:36:34 > 0:36:36It's an odd but apt name, since for a laugh

0:36:36 > 0:36:38not all the ropes are connected.

0:36:38 > 0:36:41Contestants must choose the right one to swing across the pontoon,

0:36:41 > 0:36:42otherwise they drop.

0:36:42 > 0:36:46Finally, contestants make their way to the end podium and bank a TV.

0:36:46 > 0:36:48But there are only three touch-points,

0:36:48 > 0:36:50which means another contestant will be eliminated,

0:36:50 > 0:36:51leaving our final three.

0:36:52 > 0:36:56Look at them spinning away like monstrous ballerinas.

0:36:56 > 0:36:58That's not weird at all.

0:36:58 > 0:37:01I don't think they can take much more, Ashley, do something.

0:37:01 > 0:37:03Don't worry, I'm all over it. Cue the klaxon.

0:37:03 > 0:37:05KLAXON

0:37:05 > 0:37:07Off they go!

0:37:07 > 0:37:10Nathan using speed and insanity there to his advantage.

0:37:10 > 0:37:13MUSIC: Blitzkrieg Bop by The Ramones

0:37:13 > 0:37:15Oooh!

0:37:15 > 0:37:17It is an absolute brawl in there.

0:37:17 > 0:37:19Look at them go.

0:37:19 > 0:37:22Reminds me of a experimental dance production of Hamlet I was in.

0:37:22 > 0:37:23Didn't rate.

0:37:24 > 0:37:27Nathan's first, he banks the trampoline.

0:37:27 > 0:37:28Stubbly Andy's in second.

0:37:28 > 0:37:31And Toby's just touching everything he can, and why not?

0:37:31 > 0:37:33Steve with the Beard and Fireman Stu are the last two

0:37:33 > 0:37:37which means Darth Nick will not be conquering the galaxy any time soon.

0:37:38 > 0:37:40Wow, these men mean business.

0:37:40 > 0:37:43I bet they're thinking of manly things like dirt, and steel,

0:37:43 > 0:37:44and Nick Knowles.

0:37:44 > 0:37:48MUSIC: Witch Doctor by Cartoons

0:37:48 > 0:37:50- Tip the chairs! - KLAXON

0:37:57 > 0:37:58Oh, yeah, it's Nathan.

0:37:58 > 0:38:00Followed by Andy.

0:38:00 > 0:38:01Oh, my Lord!

0:38:04 > 0:38:09Stubbly Andy following Nathan there. Probably after beard tips.

0:38:09 > 0:38:12Oh, big Toby, you little snake, you.

0:38:12 > 0:38:15Boy Racer Nathan is first again and banks the fridge freezer!

0:38:17 > 0:38:18Those bad boys are at it again.

0:38:18 > 0:38:21Just time for Andy to do a quick baby orang-utan impression

0:38:21 > 0:38:23and then we'll continue.

0:38:23 > 0:38:25ORANG-UTAN SCREECHES

0:38:25 > 0:38:27Fireman Stu is through!

0:38:27 > 0:38:29So is Steve with the Beard.

0:38:29 > 0:38:31Who's going to be in the final chair?

0:38:33 > 0:38:36Is Andy hanging on there? We're nearly losing Andy.

0:38:36 > 0:38:38- Andy...- He's coming back! - ..he saved himself!

0:38:38 > 0:38:39And Toby's up!

0:38:39 > 0:38:41Yes, it's Toby the champion.

0:38:43 > 0:38:46And Stubbly Andy is out.

0:38:46 > 0:38:48Oh, tough luck, tough guy.

0:38:50 > 0:38:54There were six, there are four and soon only three will remain.

0:38:56 > 0:38:58Don't forget about the ropes.

0:38:59 > 0:39:01That looks precarious.

0:39:01 > 0:39:02KLAXON

0:39:02 > 0:39:05That's a lot a big men in a tiny pool.

0:39:05 > 0:39:07MUSIC: Indiana Jones Theme

0:39:07 > 0:39:11Boy Racer Nathan first to the ropes and the first to the water.

0:39:11 > 0:39:13Fortunately for him, he's not the last.

0:39:15 > 0:39:17That's a lot of splashing going on.

0:39:23 > 0:39:26And they're all in the drink except...

0:39:26 > 0:39:27Toby.

0:39:28 > 0:39:29Oh, Toby!

0:39:29 > 0:39:32Man mountain Toby made it!

0:39:33 > 0:39:37When Big Toby's in front of you, you can't actually see the touch-points.

0:39:39 > 0:39:40Big Toby first over the beam,

0:39:40 > 0:39:43and the first to bank the TV.

0:39:47 > 0:39:48Fireman Stu's next.

0:39:48 > 0:39:51And Boy Racer Nathan takes third.

0:39:51 > 0:39:54Which means, I'm sorry to say, Steve with Beard got trimmed.

0:39:54 > 0:39:58I've loved it, I've absolutely loved it. It's been great.

0:39:58 > 0:40:00I'm a little bit disappointed I didn't get through.

0:40:00 > 0:40:02The better men won.

0:40:02 > 0:40:04MUSIC: Send In The Clowns by Frank Sinatra

0:40:04 > 0:40:06So close, but so far away.

0:40:06 > 0:40:08I wanted to do really well.

0:40:08 > 0:40:10I'm proud of myself for getting this far but

0:40:10 > 0:40:13obviously a little bit disappointed.

0:40:13 > 0:40:17And it's time for Darth Nick to go to a galaxy far, far away.

0:40:17 > 0:40:21I'm very disappointed, yeah. But I gave it my all, tried my best.

0:40:21 > 0:40:23Just bad luck, I think.

0:40:26 > 0:40:29Our three remaining contestants are currently waiting patiently

0:40:29 > 0:40:31in Spin Mountain base camp.

0:40:31 > 0:40:34But that's all about to change. It's time to climb.

0:40:39 > 0:40:42Yes, Spin Mountain.

0:40:42 > 0:40:44The game that separates the men from...

0:40:44 > 0:40:45their lunch.

0:40:46 > 0:40:50Each contestant has to find their three uniquely coloured discs,

0:40:50 > 0:40:55and return them to their podiums in order, from three rotating rings.

0:40:55 > 0:40:57Only then can they climb up Spin Mountain,

0:40:57 > 0:40:59which is also spinning, to touch the touch-point,

0:40:59 > 0:41:02bank the smartphone, and go on to leap for that car.

0:41:02 > 0:41:06But watch out, some of those handholds are on bungee cords.

0:41:07 > 0:41:09Nathan's spotting, Toby's squatting...

0:41:11 > 0:41:13..and Stu just looks happy to be out of the house.

0:41:13 > 0:41:14Cue the klaxon!

0:41:14 > 0:41:17- KLAXON - And they're off.

0:41:17 > 0:41:19And they're down.

0:41:19 > 0:41:21Fireman Stu out for an early morning jog there.

0:41:21 > 0:41:23Nothing to see here.

0:41:23 > 0:41:25Boy Racer Nathan takes the lead!

0:41:25 > 0:41:27MUSIC: Miserlou by Dick Dale And The Deltones

0:41:27 > 0:41:29Stuart still jogging.

0:41:29 > 0:41:30Well done, Stu.

0:41:30 > 0:41:32Ooh, but Toby's got a disc! Champion.

0:41:36 > 0:41:39I think they're making this look harder than it actually is. I mean,

0:41:39 > 0:41:43it's only three oppositely spinning platforms, for goodness' sake(!)

0:41:49 > 0:41:51Hang on! Nathan - he's off to the mountain.

0:41:51 > 0:41:53And back to Toby.

0:41:53 > 0:41:55And back to Nathan.

0:41:55 > 0:41:57And back to Toby.

0:41:57 > 0:41:59Back to Nathan. Oh, hi, Stu! Fancy meeting you here.

0:41:59 > 0:42:01Toby's at the mountain

0:42:01 > 0:42:03but it's Nathan who reaches the summit,

0:42:03 > 0:42:06banks the smartphone and claims victory over his manly foes.

0:42:06 > 0:42:07(I love you, Toby.)

0:42:08 > 0:42:10I didn't think I was going to win there.

0:42:10 > 0:42:11There's two good lads there.

0:42:11 > 0:42:14Commiserations to them as well. They've done really well.

0:42:14 > 0:42:16We must point your spotting, right from the off,

0:42:16 > 0:42:19- your spotting was incredible. - Yeah, my missus taught me that.

0:42:19 > 0:42:21She's a dancer, you've always got to do that when you're spinning.

0:42:21 > 0:42:23- That's where you got it from. - Inside knowledge.

0:42:23 > 0:42:26I knew there had to be some dancer knowledge in there somewhere.

0:42:26 > 0:42:29How do you now fancy trying to win all the prizes that you banked?

0:42:29 > 0:42:30I want to win them all.

0:42:30 > 0:42:32So, the results are in,

0:42:32 > 0:42:34Boy Racer Nathan is our winner.

0:42:34 > 0:42:36Nathan, you took our breath away!

0:42:36 > 0:42:39- I think the best man did win at the end cos he was quick.- Yeah.

0:42:39 > 0:42:43- So...- He was in the zone.- Yeah! - Definitely in the zone.- Yeah.

0:42:44 > 0:42:46Get the car, mate, get all the prizes as well.

0:42:46 > 0:42:49- Get all the prizes, win the car, definitely.- Yeah.

0:42:53 > 0:42:56- So currently Nathan has banked a smartphone.- Mountain bikes.

0:42:56 > 0:42:59- Laptop.- A tablet.- Coffee machine. - Trampoline.- Fridge freezer.

0:42:59 > 0:43:01- TV.- And the trip to Paris.

0:43:01 > 0:43:04Zut alors! And all those prizes are for the winning.

0:43:04 > 0:43:06But the winning is going to take some doing.

0:43:06 > 0:43:08Now, I've been very busy.

0:43:08 > 0:43:11I've hung all the prizes Nathan banked in the previous rounds

0:43:11 > 0:43:13above this fast-moving travelator.

0:43:13 > 0:43:16Nathan has 60 seconds to touch as many of them as he can.

0:43:16 > 0:43:19And, of course, everything he touches he wins.

0:43:21 > 0:43:25Nathan, it's quite literally time to get your hands on all those prizes.

0:43:25 > 0:43:27- What are you thinking?- I think it's been hard to get here,

0:43:27 > 0:43:30but, looking at that, it's going to be really hard work,

0:43:30 > 0:43:32and I'm willing to do it, so let's go.

0:43:32 > 0:43:34- The travelator awaits. Good luck. - Thank you.

0:43:38 > 0:43:41So, there they are, all Nathan's banked prizes,

0:43:41 > 0:43:43so near and yet so far.

0:43:46 > 0:43:49- Cue the klaxon. - KLAXON

0:43:49 > 0:43:50Oh, look at that!

0:43:50 > 0:43:52And he's off to a quick start.

0:43:52 > 0:43:53Got the tablet.

0:43:53 > 0:43:56Go, go, yes. Go on!

0:43:56 > 0:43:57Go on, get there!

0:43:57 > 0:44:00Double hit on the fridge and the trip to Paris!

0:44:01 > 0:44:04He is so quick! Look at him go.

0:44:05 > 0:44:07- Yes!- He's got the mountain bikes as well!

0:44:09 > 0:44:11Crosses the divide and wins the TV.

0:44:13 > 0:44:15- He's got the laptop.- Yes!

0:44:15 > 0:44:16That's the smartphone.

0:44:18 > 0:44:21Ooh, so close! Just missed the trampoline and the coffee machine.

0:44:22 > 0:44:25- Got the trampoline. Yes! - Come on, get the coffee machine.

0:44:25 > 0:44:27Go on, Nathan. Pace it, pace it.

0:44:27 > 0:44:29Oh, he's missed the coffee machine again! He needs caffeine.

0:44:29 > 0:44:3120 seconds to go.

0:44:31 > 0:44:33Oh, and he's down. Come on, Nathan. Don't give up.

0:44:33 > 0:44:35- 15.- Still got the telly, 15 seconds.

0:44:38 > 0:44:40Ten seconds, ten seconds.

0:44:40 > 0:44:41- Eight...- Oh.- ..seven...

0:44:41 > 0:44:43BOTH: ..six, five

0:44:43 > 0:44:45four, three

0:44:45 > 0:44:47two, one.

0:44:47 > 0:44:48KLAXON

0:44:48 > 0:44:50Oh, that's it.

0:44:50 > 0:44:53He's put in the effort, and it's definitely paid off.

0:44:53 > 0:44:55- Well done, mate. - That was incredible.

0:44:55 > 0:44:58- That was hard work.- Yeah?- That was really hard, my legs are killing.

0:44:58 > 0:45:00- Burning.- I'm not surprised.

0:45:00 > 0:45:02I'm not surprised, they were absolutely motoring.

0:45:02 > 0:45:05You totally masked it, you were like "Just a little light jog,

0:45:05 > 0:45:07"on the travelator, having a lovely time."

0:45:07 > 0:45:10- No, it was sore, really sore. - And you banked eight prizes.

0:45:10 > 0:45:12- Oh, brilliant.- It's quite a hoard. Are you ready for the list?- Yeah.

0:45:12 > 0:45:15Nathan has won a smartphone, mountain bikes, laptop,

0:45:15 > 0:45:18tablet, trampoline, fridge freezer, TV and the trip to Paris!

0:45:18 > 0:45:21- Yes! Get in.- Tres magnifique.

0:45:21 > 0:45:24But you haven't come all this way to stop there, have you, Nathan?

0:45:24 > 0:45:26- No, I'm going to keep going. - Course you are.- That car is mine.

0:45:26 > 0:45:29Oh, this is the exciting bit, of course. You have it.

0:45:29 > 0:45:32So let's put the key in the ignition and start the final round.

0:45:32 > 0:45:34Jump for the car.

0:45:35 > 0:45:37If Nathan can make one more fantastic leap,

0:45:37 > 0:45:40and touch the car, he can drive it away...

0:45:40 > 0:45:43once he's detached it from our lighting rig.

0:45:43 > 0:45:46So, Nathan, we're up here. Let's have a little look at that beauty.

0:45:46 > 0:45:49- Can you see yourself in that car? - I can, yeah, yeah.

0:45:49 > 0:45:51- Can you see...?- That's mine. That's my car.

0:45:51 > 0:45:54- That is your car. This is the right attitude.- Yes.

0:45:54 > 0:45:56- I think you can do it, you can totally do it.- Yes, it's mine.

0:45:56 > 0:45:58- Good luck...- Thank you. - ..my darling.

0:45:58 > 0:46:00- Thanks very much.- There you go.

0:46:01 > 0:46:05So this is it - the very final chapter.

0:46:05 > 0:46:09One contestant, one car, one giant leap.

0:46:11 > 0:46:15Nathan, I wish you the best of luck.

0:46:15 > 0:46:18And, in your own time, jump for the car.

0:46:26 > 0:46:28One jump.

0:46:28 > 0:46:29One chance.

0:46:29 > 0:46:31One car.

0:47:15 > 0:47:16He did it!

0:47:16 > 0:47:19Nathan's won himself a brand-new car!

0:47:19 > 0:47:21Cue the endless slow motion repeats!

0:47:21 > 0:47:24Oh, I'm going to watch that again and again.

0:47:24 > 0:47:28MUSIC: Hero by Enrique Iglesias

0:47:36 > 0:47:38And enough.

0:47:38 > 0:47:40Come on, I've a warm Toby to get to.

0:47:46 > 0:47:48Oh, triumphant!

0:47:48 > 0:47:50THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

0:47:50 > 0:47:52- How does it feel? You won the car! - That was amazing.

0:47:52 > 0:47:55Honestly, last minute I didn't think I was going to get it.

0:47:55 > 0:47:57But literally just got my fingertips on it.

0:47:57 > 0:47:59- It's just overwhelming. I don't even...- You did it!- Yeah, wow!

0:47:59 > 0:48:01- Amazing, thank you.- Unbelievable.

0:48:01 > 0:48:03What do you think your fiance is going to say when she sees this?

0:48:03 > 0:48:06She's going to be so proud. Love you both, love you loads.

0:48:06 > 0:48:08- Aw!- Well done. You've been such an incredible contestant.

0:48:08 > 0:48:11- We've loved having you on the show. And you were the top.- Thank you.

0:48:11 > 0:48:13- Brilliant. Well done.- Thank you. - Champion.

0:48:13 > 0:48:15It couldn't have gone better! That's it for tonight.

0:48:15 > 0:48:18Join us again next time for more cars,

0:48:18 > 0:48:20catapults, clamber crossings and more.

0:48:20 > 0:48:23Till then, stay in touch. Say goodbye, Sue!

0:48:23 > 0:48:25Bye!

0:48:25 > 0:48:27Now, where's Toby?