0:00:02 > 0:00:06Four celebrities who hope they know everything there is to know about their specialist subject...
0:00:06 > 0:00:11but can they cut it on television's toughest quiz?
0:00:11 > 0:00:13They've agreed to put themselves in the hot seat
0:00:13 > 0:00:15for their chosen charity,
0:00:15 > 0:00:18but only one person can be the winner.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22Who will be crowned tonight's Celebrity Mastermind?
0:00:39 > 0:00:43First in the spotlight tonight, the former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith.
0:00:43 > 0:00:47Her subject is the world's longest running soap, The Archers.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51The actor Nathaniel Parker on the comic genius of the Marx Brothers,
0:00:51 > 0:00:54comedian Jason Manford takes on the idiosyncrasies
0:00:54 > 0:00:58of the time travelling sci-fi series Quantum Leap
0:00:58 > 0:01:00and Strictly star Erin Boag,
0:01:00 > 0:01:02she'll be tackling the history of New Zealand.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03APPLAUSE
0:01:14 > 0:01:18Hello, I'm John Humphrys and welcome to Celebrity Mastermind.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21As always, we're joined by four contenders
0:01:21 > 0:01:24who will each face two vigorous question-and-answer rounds,
0:01:24 > 0:01:27but only one can be tonight's Celebrity Mastermind.
0:01:27 > 0:01:32Before we find out who, there is one and a half minutes of questions on their specialist subject
0:01:32 > 0:01:34and then two minutes on their general knowledge.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37The winner will take home this fine trophy,
0:01:37 > 0:01:40much more importantly the title of Mastermind.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43So, let's get on with it and ask our first contender to join us, please.
0:01:50 > 0:01:55- And your name is?- Jacqui Smith. - Your chosen charity?- Eaves.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59- And your chosen subject?- The Archers from 1980 to the present day.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02The Archers in a minute and a half, starting now.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Listeners were stunned when which long-serving character died
0:02:05 > 0:02:09falling off the roof of his house, Lower Locksley Hall, in January 2011?
0:02:09 > 0:02:10- Nigel Pargetter.- Yes.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12What's the name of the department store in Borchester,
0:02:12 > 0:02:15one of the earliest stockists of Bridge Farm's organic dairy products?
0:02:15 > 0:02:17- Underwoods.- Yes. Lynda Snell has three llamas,
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Wolfgang and Constanza are two of them, what's the name of the third?
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- Salieri.- Yes. What was the nationality by birth of Laura Wilson,
0:02:23 > 0:02:25who married Dan Archer's brother Frank
0:02:25 > 0:02:28and lived in Ambridge Hall until her death in 1985?
0:02:28 > 0:02:29- Australian?- New Zealander.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30What was the name of the doctor who left
0:02:30 > 0:02:33after having had a brief and scandalous affair with Shula,
0:02:33 > 0:02:36whose son was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis?
0:02:36 > 0:02:40- Richard Locke.- Yes. For what crime was Susan Carter sent to prison in 1993?
0:02:40 > 0:02:41Harbouring her brother.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Perverting the course of justice, but same thing.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46What is the name of the nursing home near Ambridge
0:02:46 > 0:02:48whose current residents include Jack Woolley?
0:02:48 > 0:02:49- The Laurels.- Yes.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Fallon Rogers is the singer with which band?
0:02:51 > 0:02:52- Little White Lies.- Correct.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54What is the name of Eddie Grundy's older brother
0:02:54 > 0:02:57who has spent time at Her Majesty's pleasure?
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- Alf.- Yep. Marjorie Antrobus was a breeder,
0:02:59 > 0:03:01exhibitor and owner of which breed of dog?
0:03:01 > 0:03:02Her last one was called Bettina.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04- Afghans.- Yes. What's the name of the child
0:03:04 > 0:03:07born to Tony and Pat Archer's only daughter Helen
0:03:07 > 0:03:09who became pregnant by a sperm donor in 2010?
0:03:09 > 0:03:10- Henry.- Yeah.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14Which retired architect did Julian Pargetter marry in May 2005,
0:03:14 > 0:03:16just a few months before she died?
0:03:16 > 0:03:17- Lewis Carmichael.- Correct.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20From which of her aunts did Schula buy the stables in 2001?
0:03:20 > 0:03:22- Christine Barford.- Yes.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Kate and Lucas Madikane have two children,
0:03:24 > 0:03:27their daughter is called Noluthando, Nolly for short,
0:03:27 > 0:03:28what's is the name of their son?
0:03:28 > 0:03:31- Sipho.- Yes. The Duchess of Cornwall recently appeared at Grey Gables
0:03:31 > 0:03:33- in a role as president of the National... - BEEP
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Finish the question, ..of the National Osteoporosis Society.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Which charity was Princess Margaret supporting
0:03:39 > 0:03:41when she appeared in 1984?
0:03:41 > 0:03:43- NSPCC.- Is correct.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45No passes, Jacqui Smith,
0:03:45 > 0:03:48indeed a perfect round, you got them all right, 14 points!
0:03:48 > 0:03:50APPLAUSE
0:03:59 > 0:04:01And our next contender, please.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- And your name is?- Nathaniel Parker.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- Your chosen charity? - The Young Epilepsy.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14- And your chosen subject? - The Marx Brothers films.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17The Marx brothers, in a minute and a half, starting now.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20In Horse Feathers, which of the Marx Brothers plays Frank Wagstaff,
0:04:20 > 0:04:22the son of Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff?
0:04:22 > 0:04:23- Zeppo.- Yes.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Which noted African explorer does Groucho play in Animal Crackers?
0:04:26 > 0:04:29- Captain Spaulding.- Yeah, what is the profession of Groucho's character,
0:04:29 > 0:04:33Wolf J Flywheel in The Big Store?
0:04:33 > 0:04:34- Detective.- Yes.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37A production of which Opera, at the New York Opera House,
0:04:37 > 0:04:39provides the setting for the climax of A Night At The Opera?
0:04:39 > 0:04:40- Il Trovatore.- Yes.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Which statuesque actress was the butt of Groucho's humour
0:04:43 > 0:04:46in several of the films as well as his love interest in some of them?
0:04:46 > 0:04:47- Margaret Dumont.- Correct.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50In Horse Feathers, at his inauguration as college president,
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Professor Wagstaff, played by Groucho Marx,
0:04:52 > 0:04:54sings Whatever It Is, I'm Against It,
0:04:54 > 0:04:56what's the name of the college?
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- Huxley.- Yes.
0:04:58 > 0:04:59Which actress plays Christine Marlowe,
0:04:59 > 0:05:02who finds a possible backer for the play being produced in Room Service?
0:05:02 > 0:05:03- Lucille Ball.- Yes.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07In Duck Soup, Rufus T firefly is appointed as the leader of which mythical Republic?
0:05:07 > 0:05:08- Freedonia.- Yep.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Who wrote both the music and lyrics
0:05:10 > 0:05:14of the songs used in The Cocoanuts?
0:05:14 > 0:05:15- Irving Berlin.- Yes.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18The action in Room Service centres on an attempt
0:05:18 > 0:05:20to put together a production of the play Hail And Farewell
0:05:20 > 0:05:23by a producer and his cast based in which hotel in New York?
0:05:23 > 0:05:24- Whiteway.- Correct.
0:05:24 > 0:05:29Who appears as the nightclub singer Gil Stewart in A Day At The Races?
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- Erm, Allan Jones.- Yes.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34In A Night In Casablanca what number comes up three times in succession for Rusty
0:05:34 > 0:05:37on the hotel's roulette wheel, so breaking the bank?
0:05:37 > 0:05:38- Five?- Yes!
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Which circus puts on a show in the grounds of Mrs Dukesbury's mansion
0:05:41 > 0:05:43when she is expecting a symphony orchestra?
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- A Day At The Circus.- Sorry? - A Day At The Circus?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- No, Wilson's Wonder. In Monkey Business... - BEEP
0:05:48 > 0:05:53..whose stolen passport do the stowaways try in turn to use to get off the ship?
0:05:53 > 0:05:54I'm sorry, could you say that again?
0:05:54 > 0:05:57I'm afraid we're out of time now, so I can't.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- Oh, I know, Maurice Chevalier!- You've got it!
0:06:00 > 0:06:01You see, you didn't need me to tell you again.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05Anyway, no passes and 13 points.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07APPLAUSE
0:06:13 > 0:06:15And our next contender, please.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22- All right, no pressure! - Absolute pressure. Oh!
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Don't worry about it.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- Your name?- Pass!
0:06:26 > 0:06:28LAUGHTER
0:06:28 > 0:06:31- It is a requirement. - Jason Manford.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34- Your chosen charity? - The Children's Adventure Farm.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- And your chosen subject? - The TV series Quantum Leap.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Quantum leap, in a minute and a half, starting now.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42In Quantum Leap, Dr Sam Beckett is a physicist
0:06:42 > 0:06:44who becomes lost in time following an experiment
0:06:44 > 0:06:47and temporarily becomes other people, who plays Beckett?
0:06:47 > 0:06:49- Scott Bakula.- Correct.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51The top secret Quantum Leap Project facility
0:06:51 > 0:06:53is based in Stallion's Gate in which American state?
0:06:53 > 0:06:54- New Mexico.- Yes.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56In Honeymoon Express, the opening episode of the second series,
0:06:56 > 0:06:59the funding for the Quantum Leap Project is secured
0:06:59 > 0:07:03after Sam makes sure his new bride passes which exams?
0:07:03 > 0:07:04- The Bar.- Yep.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07What is the name of the young man with Down syndrome
0:07:07 > 0:07:10whom Sam becomes twice, once in season two and again in season five?
0:07:10 > 0:07:11- Jimmy.- Yes.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13What food analogy do the characters repeatedly use
0:07:13 > 0:07:15to refer to the holes in Sam's memory?
0:07:15 > 0:07:16- Swiss cheese.- Yes.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Sam eventually finds out that his mission had not been
0:07:18 > 0:07:20to prevent the assassination of President Kennedy,
0:07:20 > 0:07:23but to prevent Lee Harvey Oswald from killing whom?
0:07:23 > 0:07:25- Jackie Kennedy.- Yes.
0:07:25 > 0:07:26What's the title of the episode
0:07:26 > 0:07:29in which Sam leaps and becomes a woman for the first time?
0:07:30 > 0:07:31Pass.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34In Double Identity, what is Theresa's favourite phrase?
0:07:34 > 0:07:36It roughly means, I'm telling the truth.
0:07:36 > 0:07:37Erm...
0:07:39 > 0:07:40- If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'.- Yes!
0:07:40 > 0:07:42In the episode entitled The Wrong Stuff,
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Sam finds himself wearing nappy when he has become what animal?
0:07:45 > 0:07:47- A chimpanzee.- Yes.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49When Sam becomes Marilyn Monroe's chauffeur in Goodbye Norma Jean
0:07:49 > 0:07:53he keeps her alive long enough so that she can make which film?
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- The last one she did? - The film?
0:07:55 > 0:07:58- I can't member what it's called, sorry.- All right, we'll take it as a pass.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00In Last Dance Before An Execution,
0:08:00 > 0:08:02the second bullet had not been found in the church
0:08:02 > 0:08:04because it was hidden behind what?
0:08:04 > 0:08:06- A picture of Madonna.- Yes.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08What reason does Angelita the Guardian Angel
0:08:08 > 0:08:12- give for stating that Al will never get to heaven? - BEEP
0:08:12 > 0:08:14- Pass.- Well, I'll tell you because you are out of time.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17There's a dress code in heaven, apparently!
0:08:17 > 0:08:21And that other one about Sam becoming Marilyn Monroe's chauffeur,
0:08:21 > 0:08:25he keeps alive long enough so that she can make The Misfits.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28And the title of the episode in which some becomes a woman for the first time,
0:08:28 > 0:08:31What Price Gloria? Jason, three passes, nine points.
0:08:31 > 0:08:32APPLAUSE
0:08:38 > 0:08:39DROWNED BY APPLAUSE
0:08:39 > 0:08:41And our final contender, please.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52- And your name is?- Erin Boag. - Your chosen charity?- ChildLine.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56- And your chosen subject?- The history of New Zealand 1642 to 1872.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59New Zealand in 90 seconds, here we go.
0:08:59 > 0:09:03Which Dutchman was the first European to discover New Zealand in 1642?
0:09:03 > 0:09:04- Abel Tasman.- Correct.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05What's the meaning of the word Maori,
0:09:05 > 0:09:07which came into common use in the 1860s?
0:09:07 > 0:09:10It was used to distinguish them from the newcomers.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14- Pass.- Who was appointed the first British resident in 1833?
0:09:14 > 0:09:17His major achievement was the design of Maori flag for shipping.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- James Busby.- Yes.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22According to legend, what did Captain Cook give to Horeta Te Taniwha
0:09:22 > 0:09:24when he was a small boy?
0:09:24 > 0:09:25Pass.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Which fearsome warlord went to London in 1820
0:09:27 > 0:09:30where he managed to meet George IV?
0:09:30 > 0:09:31- Hongi Hika.- Yes. What breed of sheep
0:09:31 > 0:09:34was the first to be imported on a large scale into New Zealand,
0:09:34 > 0:09:39arriving in Nelson in the early 1840s?
0:09:39 > 0:09:42- Pass.- Which French explorer entered New Zealand waters
0:09:42 > 0:09:46at the same time as Captain Cook in his ship the St Jean-Baptiste?
0:09:47 > 0:09:48- Jean Surville.- Yes.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51What name is given to the incident in June 1843
0:09:51 > 0:09:53when both Europeans and Maoris were killed
0:09:53 > 0:09:55in a clash between armed New Zealand company settlers
0:09:55 > 0:09:58and the Ngati Toa?
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- The Flagstaff War? - No, the Wairau Dispute.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05By what name are the intertribal wars, fought between about 1815 and 1840,
0:10:05 > 0:10:08commonly known because of the weapons used?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- The Musket War.- Yes.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14Who chopped down the British flag above Kororareka now known as Russell,
0:10:14 > 0:10:19several times before sacking the town in 1845?
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Er...
0:10:21 > 0:10:22- Hone Heke?- Yes.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25In 1867, while exiled in the Chatham Islands,
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Te Kooti experienced a spiritual awakening,
0:10:27 > 0:10:31- by what name did his new faith come to be known? - BEEP
0:10:31 > 0:10:35- Pass.- Well, I can tell you cos your time is up. Ringatu.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36And your other passes,
0:10:36 > 0:10:41it was Marino sheep that were the first to be imported on a large scale.
0:10:41 > 0:10:46According to legend, Captain Cook gave Horeta Te Taniwha a nail when he was a small boy
0:10:46 > 0:10:49and the meaning of the word Maori, normal.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52Four passes, Erin, six points.
0:10:52 > 0:10:53Thank you.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54APPLAUSE
0:11:00 > 0:11:03Well, some very high scores there. Let's have a look at all the scores.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06In fourth place, with six points, Erin Boag.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Third place, nine points, Jason Manford.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11Second place, 13 points, Nathanial Parker.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14In the lead with a very big 14 points, Jacqui Smith.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16APPLAUSE
0:11:21 > 0:11:24So, round two now, general knowledge,
0:11:24 > 0:11:26and if there is a tie at the end of it,
0:11:26 > 0:11:28then the number of passes get taken into account
0:11:28 > 0:11:30and the person with the fewer passes is the winner.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34Let's get on with it and ask Erin to join us again, please.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40- It was a big subject, New Zealand, wasn't it?- Yes, it was, 230 years!
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Well, exactly!
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Anyway, Strictly, that's what people want to know about, isn't it?
0:11:45 > 0:11:48I've always been intrigued, you don't get usual partners, do you?
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- No, no, we don't get to choose our partners.- You are told?- We are told.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55So, what if you are partnered with some horrible, slimy, smelly...you know.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59- Did you ever say, "Urgh, not him!" - No, actually, I've had, erm...
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Well, nine partners now and they've all been wonderful
0:12:01 > 0:12:03and they've all smelt great!
0:12:03 > 0:12:04LAUGHTER
0:12:04 > 0:12:07- You'd have to say that, wouldn't you?- They have! LAUGHTER
0:12:07 > 0:12:11- You could do it next year. - I have been invited, and...
0:12:11 > 0:12:16HE LAUGHS We could have a little try-out here.
0:12:16 > 0:12:17No.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18LAUGHTER
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Look, I'm up for most things, but not...
0:12:21 > 0:12:24I mean, that's kind of humiliation I can do without.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27- No, you do, you dance well. - I can dance well in my dreams.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Do you reckon you know who's going to win, him or her?
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Well, I think you have a fair idea, maybe not who's going to win,
0:12:32 > 0:12:35but you have a fair idea who is probably going to do well.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38And can you really, you as the partner, can you really improve them?
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Well, I'd like to think so, yeah!
0:12:41 > 0:12:44With got to coach them, sometimes you've got to counsel them because...
0:12:44 > 0:12:47- Counsel them? - Well, you see their every emotion.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50I've seen men weep because it's quite scary.
0:12:50 > 0:12:55- Would he give us a few names of the weepers? Go on!- No. LAUGHTER
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Let's get to the business. You've got six points,
0:12:57 > 0:12:59let's see how you do with your general knowledge.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Two minutes this time, starting now.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Which member of the horse family, native to Africa,
0:13:04 > 0:13:06has a distinctive striped coat?
0:13:06 > 0:13:07Pass.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09What name is usually given to songs
0:13:09 > 0:13:12that are intended to soothe babies and send them to sleep?
0:13:12 > 0:13:13- Lullaby.- Yes.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Nicole Scherzinger, a judge on the American version of the X Factor,
0:13:16 > 0:13:19was formerly a member of which girl band?
0:13:19 > 0:13:20- Pussycat Dolls.- Yes.
0:13:20 > 0:13:2446 Albert Square, Walford, is the address of which television pub?
0:13:24 > 0:13:25Erm...
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Er...erm... Eastenders?
0:13:30 > 0:13:32- Albert Square? - No, the Queen Vic.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35What is the capital of the Australian state of New South Wales?
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Erm...
0:13:37 > 0:13:39LAUGHTER
0:13:42 > 0:13:46- Come on.- Canberra! - Nearly, it's Sydney, but it was close.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Which star of the television series ER plays Governor Mike Morris,
0:13:49 > 0:13:54an American presidential hopeful in the 2011 film The Ides Of March?
0:13:54 > 0:13:55- George Clooney?- Yes.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57The cynical and disillusioned teenager Holden Caulfield
0:13:57 > 0:14:00is the hero of which classic novel by JD Salinger?
0:14:00 > 0:14:01Pass.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04Which thick stew-like North American soup
0:14:04 > 0:14:07is usually made with fish or seafood, especially clams?
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Erm, a...fish chowder.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13Yes. In which ballet, with music by Tchaikovsky, does the Sugar Plum Fairy
0:14:13 > 0:14:15dance in the Kingdom Of Sweets?
0:14:15 > 0:14:16Erm...
0:14:18 > 0:14:19Pass.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Which R&B singer who had a hit with Umbrella
0:14:21 > 0:14:25and topped the charts in October 2011 with We Found Love
0:14:25 > 0:14:27was born in Barbados in 1988?
0:14:27 > 0:14:28- Rihanna.- Yes.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Where on a rattle snake's body are the horny plates
0:14:31 > 0:14:33that it shakes to warn off enemies?
0:14:33 > 0:14:34- Tail.- Yes.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38Which ill-fated Queen who died in Paris in October 1793,
0:14:38 > 0:14:40was the wife of King Louis XVI of France?
0:14:40 > 0:14:41Pass.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45In which Caribbean country did both ska and reggae music originate?
0:14:45 > 0:14:46- Jamaica?- Yes.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50What name is given to the simple instrument consisting of a magnetised needle
0:14:50 > 0:14:53used in navigation to find directions?
0:14:53 > 0:14:54- A compass.- Yes.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Which Hollywood actor stars in Mr And Mrs Smith,
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Fight Club and the Curious Case Of Benjamin Button?
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- Brad Pitt.- Yes. In which country did Fidel Castro... - BEEP
0:15:02 > 0:15:03I'll finish the question.
0:15:03 > 0:15:08..permanently hand over power to his brother Raul in February 2008?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11- Pass.- Well, I'll tell you cos your time's up. It was Cuba.
0:15:11 > 0:15:16And your other passes, Marie Antoinette was that ill-fated Queen,
0:15:16 > 0:15:20the Nutcracker was the Tchaikovsky ballet,
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Catcher In The Rye was JD Salinger's book
0:15:23 > 0:15:28- and the horse family with the striped coat, zebra.- Oh!
0:15:28 > 0:15:29LAUGHTER
0:15:31 > 0:15:36- But, look, you did very well, you now have a total of 15 points.- Hey!
0:15:36 > 0:15:38- There you go! - APPLAUSE
0:15:38 > 0:15:39Thanks.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49And now Jason Manford again, please.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52- Have you recovered now?- Yeah.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53- Good.- All right now.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Well, we'll talk a bit about comedy before we ask the questions
0:15:56 > 0:15:58cos, I mean, what's extraordinary is the way that
0:15:58 > 0:16:01people are turning out in huge numbers at live shows
0:16:01 > 0:16:03and we have a recession on.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Yeah, I think that actually plays a part, to be honest.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08The last time there was a boom was, sort of, in the '80s.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12You know, unemployment, and minor strikes, and Thatcher and that.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14I think there's similar things happening now.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17- Cos the audiences are huge, aren't they?- Absolutely, absolutely.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19I suppose is a guaranteed good night, isn't it?
0:16:19 > 0:16:23If you already like that person then you know you're going to have a good time.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27Isn't a big audience less frightening than a relatively small one?
0:16:27 > 0:16:31Because if 10% of 10,000 people laugh, that's 1,000 people.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34If 10 percent of 500 people laugh it's only a handful.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Yeah, I mean, there is an element of that
0:16:36 > 0:16:40and also there's a sort of pack mentality as well, I think,
0:16:40 > 0:16:43where, you know, laughter, and sometimes you see people laughing and they don't even get the joke,
0:16:43 > 0:16:46they just think, "I'd better not be left out here!
0:16:46 > 0:16:49"Oh, yeah, good one! I'll Google that when I get in."
0:16:49 > 0:16:53- LAUGHTER - Anyway, you survived this ordeal so far and you've got nine points,
0:16:53 > 0:16:56let's see how you do with your general knowledge. Two minutes, starting now.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59In which film does Cliff Richard play a London mechanic
0:16:59 > 0:17:01who travels across Europe with three friends
0:17:01 > 0:17:03in a converted double-decker bus?
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Erm... Oh, that holiday one.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09- Yes, but...- Oh, what's it called, now?
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Oh...it's gone out me head.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14All right, we'll make it... I'll tell you, it's Summer Holiday.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16According to legend, which Swiss national hero
0:17:16 > 0:17:17was ordered by the Austrian government
0:17:17 > 0:17:20to shoot an apple from his own son's head with a crossbow?
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- William Tell.- Yes. What word, originally referring to a wooden device used by clowns
0:17:23 > 0:17:27to make a smacking noise, is now used for other type of knockabout comedy?
0:17:27 > 0:17:28- Slapstick?- Yes.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30"Cooking doesn't get any tougher than this."
0:17:30 > 0:17:34that's a frequently heard expression on which television show?
0:17:34 > 0:17:36- Saturday Kitchen? - MasterChef Goes Large.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38The plot of which Shakespeare play
0:17:38 > 0:17:40centres on the confusion caused by the presence in the same town
0:17:40 > 0:17:43of to sets of identical twin brothers?
0:17:45 > 0:17:46Pass.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Who lost his 100 metres World Athletics title
0:17:48 > 0:17:52after false starting in the final in August 2011?
0:17:52 > 0:17:53- Usain Bolt?- Yes.
0:17:53 > 0:17:54Whose recording of Love Is All Around
0:17:54 > 0:17:58from the film Four Weddings And A Funeral spent 15 weeks at number one in '94?
0:17:58 > 0:18:00- Bill Nighy.- Wet Wet Wet!
0:18:00 > 0:18:02At a Burns Night Supper,
0:18:02 > 0:18:06which food item's addressed as, "Great chieftain of the pudding race"?
0:18:06 > 0:18:08- Sorry, can you say that again?- No!
0:18:08 > 0:18:10At a Burns Night Supper, which food item's addressed
0:18:10 > 0:18:12as, "Great chieftain of the pudding race"?
0:18:12 > 0:18:13I didn't know the first time,
0:18:13 > 0:18:15I just wanted to hear you say it again!
0:18:15 > 0:18:17- Yeah, well, I did it straight that time.- I don't know.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21Who was president of The National Union of Mineworkers from 1982 to 2002,
0:18:21 > 0:18:24leading them into the great strike of 1984?
0:18:24 > 0:18:26- Arthur Scargill.- Yes.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Astigmatism is an irregularity affecting what part of the body?
0:18:29 > 0:18:31- Hands?- The eyes.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35The Soviet Union's foreign intelligence and domestic security agency,
0:18:35 > 0:18:40established in 1954, was known by what three-letter abbreviation?
0:18:40 > 0:18:42- CIA?- KGB.
0:18:42 > 0:18:43The Birmingham toolmaker Joseph Hudson
0:18:43 > 0:18:46produced the first effective type of what object,
0:18:46 > 0:18:50still used today by football referees?
0:18:50 > 0:18:51- The whistle.- Yes.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55Which chart-topping single by Wings features the bagpipes and drums
0:18:55 > 0:18:57- of the Campbeltown Pipe Band? - BEEP
0:18:57 > 0:19:01- Mull of Kintyre? - Mull of Kintyre is correct.
0:19:01 > 0:19:02You had two passes.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04- The haggis, of course. - Oh, yeah, of course.
0:19:04 > 0:19:09- And that Shakespeare play, Comedy of Errors.- Oh, right.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13- You've got now, Jason, 15 points. - That'll do, I'll take that! APPLAUSE
0:19:19 > 0:19:22And now, Nathaniel Parker again, please.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31- The Inspector Lynley Mysteries.- Yes.
0:19:31 > 0:19:36Very well known as a result of it, but now you're playing a baddie on telly, in Merlin.
0:19:36 > 0:19:41- Oh, it's overused word, baddie. Misunderstood.- Misunderstood.- Yeah.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45- What, he's a nice guy really? - Nice guy, hard childhood.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47- Lovely to children?- Yeah. He's a sweetheart.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Yes, well, they thought,
0:19:48 > 0:19:51"Who can we have with black hair rides a black horse
0:19:51 > 0:19:53"and wears black clothes and has a deep voice?"
0:19:53 > 0:19:54- So they got me.- So they got you.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Actually, I'm just desperately trying not to be Alan Rickman, that's what it is!
0:19:57 > 0:20:01LAUGHTER Because it would be... He sets the bar, he is fantastic.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03The baddies fandom, really, isn't he?
0:20:03 > 0:20:05He's brilliant at it. I'm doing some comedy now.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09Well, some people talk about Inspector Lynley as comedy, but... LAUGHTER
0:20:09 > 0:20:12I think you've got, you know, it's lovely to be able to be bendy and plastic like that.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16It's the whole point of the game, that's why we went into it, really.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Let's see how you do with your general knowledge now.
0:20:18 > 0:20:2013 points already, here we go.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Which plant is said to be lucky
0:20:22 > 0:20:25when it has four leaves instead of the normal three?
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- Clover.- Yes. On 27 April 1992 Betty Boothroyd became the first woman
0:20:28 > 0:20:30to be elected to which post in the House of Commons?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32- Speaker of the House.- Yes.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Who wrote the series of seven Narnia stories for children?
0:20:34 > 0:20:36- Lewis Carroll.- CS Lewis.- Oh!
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Which long-handled tool with a curved blade,
0:20:38 > 0:20:40often associated with the Grim Reaper,
0:20:40 > 0:20:42was one of the implements used for cutting grass
0:20:42 > 0:20:44before the invention of the lawnmower?
0:20:44 > 0:20:45- Scythe.- Yes. In Japanese cuisine,
0:20:45 > 0:20:48what name is given to a dish of seafood or vegetables
0:20:48 > 0:20:50deep-fried in a light batter?
0:20:50 > 0:20:53- Sashimi? No, tempura! - Tempura.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56Mick Hucknall was the lead singer with which band,
0:20:56 > 0:20:57formed in the mid-80s?
0:20:57 > 0:21:00- Pass.- The famous illuminations in which seaside town
0:21:00 > 0:21:04date from this display put up to celebrate the visit of Princess Louise in 1912?
0:21:04 > 0:21:05- Blackpool.- Yes.
0:21:05 > 0:21:10What was the first Bond film with Daniel Craig in the title role?
0:21:10 > 0:21:11Pass.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Which 18th-century Scottish political economist and philosopher
0:21:14 > 0:21:16wrote the Wealth of Nations,
0:21:16 > 0:21:19laying down the philosophical foundations of modern capitalism
0:21:19 > 0:21:20and the modern market economy?
0:21:20 > 0:21:22- Jings.- No, Adam Smith.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Which disease is transmitted to humans
0:21:24 > 0:21:26by the female Anopheles mosquito?
0:21:26 > 0:21:27Erm...
0:21:29 > 0:21:30Calm.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35- Oh, pass! I know it! - All right, you pass.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37What day is called Poisson D'Avril in France
0:21:37 > 0:21:39and Gowkie Day in Scotland?
0:21:39 > 0:21:40Don't know, pass.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43In classical music, what term for a large orchestral work,
0:21:43 > 0:21:45typically divided into three or four movements,
0:21:45 > 0:21:47comes from the Greek for "sound together"?
0:21:47 > 0:21:48- Symphony.- Yes.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Which popular houseplant that has large, leathery, glossy leaves,
0:21:51 > 0:21:52gets its name from its milky sap
0:21:52 > 0:21:55that can be made into a low-grade elastic substance?
0:21:55 > 0:21:59- Rubber.- Yep. What is known as "Kensington Gore" in theatrical slang?
0:21:59 > 0:22:00- Blood.- Fake blood.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04In which country did the 2010 football World Cup Finals take place?
0:22:04 > 0:22:06- South Africa.- Yes.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10In which 2011 film starring Matt Damon, Kate Winslet and Jude Law among others,
0:22:10 > 0:22:13do a team of doctors attempt to deal with a new deadly virus?
0:22:13 > 0:22:15- Contagious.- I'll give you that.- Contagion!- Contagion.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17According to the authorised version of the New Testament,
0:22:17 > 0:22:19who wrote letters to the Galatians, Thessalonians,
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Corinthians and Romans amongst others?
0:22:21 > 0:22:23- Paul.- Yes. Which fish... - BEEP
0:22:23 > 0:22:24Started so I'll finish,
0:22:24 > 0:22:26..found in the Amazon and Orinoco basins in South America
0:22:26 > 0:22:31is capable of reducing a shock strong enough to stun a human?
0:22:31 > 0:22:34The stinging fish of South Africa, South America!
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Nearly, but not quite, it's the electric eel, in truth.
0:22:37 > 0:22:38Four passes.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42- Poisson D'Avril and Gowkie Day is April Fools' Day!- Right.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46- Malaria is what you get...- Yes, yes! - Yes, by a mosquito and all that.
0:22:46 > 0:22:51Casino Royale was the first Daniel Craig Bond film and Mick Hucknall -
0:22:51 > 0:22:52Simply Red.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56So, you have now rocketed up to 24 points.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59APPLAUSE More than I thought, oh, right.
0:23:07 > 0:23:11And finally, Jacqui Smith, again, please.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16And it's not going to be possible to talk to you
0:23:16 > 0:23:21without mentioning THAT business when you were Home Secretary
0:23:21 > 0:23:24and expenses and all that sort of stuff.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26What's interesting about it, in a way,
0:23:26 > 0:23:29is that you didn't just, sort of, but your tail between your legs,
0:23:29 > 0:23:34you went on Radio 5 Live and made a show called Porn Again.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38Kind of, reminding everybody about what had happened to you. Why?
0:23:38 > 0:23:41Well, there's two ways of dealing with this.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45You know, similarly as I decided to fight my seat in the general election
0:23:45 > 0:23:47when quite a few people said to me,
0:23:47 > 0:23:50"Well, why get you just go off now and not go through that?"
0:23:50 > 0:23:53In the same way, I thought, "Well, I want to actually take this issue,
0:23:53 > 0:23:56"that everybody has got all these weird ideas
0:23:56 > 0:23:57"and prejudices and views about,"
0:23:57 > 0:24:01and it was so interesting to be able to go and talk to people
0:24:01 > 0:24:03on all sides of the argument
0:24:03 > 0:24:06and come to a conclusion and I hope to be doing some more of them.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08What do you miss most out of politics?
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Cos you were there for quite a long time
0:24:10 > 0:24:12and you rose to a very high office.
0:24:12 > 0:24:16Do you know, I miss our early morning, you know, how can I put it?
0:24:16 > 0:24:18- Jousting, I suppose is a nice way to put it.- Yes, we had a few.- We did.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22Some of them more friendly than others, as I recall.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24I don't remember the friendly ones, actually!
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- You'll have to send me the recordings of those ones!- Mmm!
0:24:26 > 0:24:31I miss some of the comradeship of people, some of the people,
0:24:31 > 0:24:34I was there in Parliament with,
0:24:34 > 0:24:36but I don't miss it as much as I thought I would miss it.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38What you think about this coalition government?
0:24:38 > 0:24:41We'll just have a little bit of the old Jacqui Smith politics interview!
0:24:41 > 0:24:44What do you think of them?
0:24:44 > 0:24:45Well, I didn't vote for them
0:24:45 > 0:24:48and the sooner they are not the government any more the better,
0:24:48 > 0:24:50- as far as I'm concerned.- Now, why did I think you were going to say that?
0:24:50 > 0:24:54Right, the top score at the moment is 24 points,
0:24:54 > 0:24:57you already have 14, here we go, two minutes, starting now.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59The little dog Toto belongs to the heroin Dorothy
0:24:59 > 0:25:01in which 1939 classic film?
0:25:01 > 0:25:02- The Wizard of Oz.- Yes.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04The fresh leaves of which herb
0:25:04 > 0:25:06are crushed with pine nuts and olive oil to make traditional pesto?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08- Basil.- Yes. In Roman mythology,
0:25:08 > 0:25:11who was the god of the sea, usually depicted holding a Trident?
0:25:11 > 0:25:13- Neptune.- Yes. The title music for the television series The Apprentice
0:25:13 > 0:25:16comes from a ballet by which Russian composer?
0:25:17 > 0:25:20- Pass.- Who was sworn in as American President
0:25:20 > 0:25:22on board the presidential plane Air Force One
0:25:22 > 0:25:24after the assassination of John F Kennedy?
0:25:26 > 0:25:28- Truman.- Johnson!
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Which a boy band represented the United Kingdom
0:25:30 > 0:25:33at the 2011 Eurovision Song Contest with this song I Can?
0:25:33 > 0:25:34- Blue.- Yes.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37On the Royal Coat of Arms the shield is supported by a lion representing England
0:25:37 > 0:25:40and which mythical animal representing Scotland?
0:25:40 > 0:25:42- Dragon?- Unicorn.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45What mountain range contains most of the world's highest peaks, including Everest?
0:25:45 > 0:25:48- Himalayas.- Yes. Which comedian and actor's literary works include
0:25:48 > 0:25:52The Liar, The Hippopotamus and Moab Is My Washpot?
0:25:52 > 0:25:56- Pass.- In August 1941, a German spy a named Josef Jacobs
0:25:56 > 0:26:01became the last person to be executed at which historic London landmark?
0:26:01 > 0:26:05- Erm... Tower, the Tower of London.- Yes.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07In 1961 the International Council for Bird Preservation
0:26:07 > 0:26:10chose which bird, commonly seen in Winter Gardens,
0:26:10 > 0:26:12as Britain's national bird?
0:26:12 > 0:26:13- Robin?- Yes.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Which former Today presenter now hosts Radio 4's The Reunion,
0:26:15 > 0:26:18bringing together people who have lived through an important moment
0:26:18 > 0:26:20of recent history?
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Sue... Pass.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Which scientific instrument gets its name
0:26:25 > 0:26:28from the Greek words for "at a distance" and "to look"?
0:26:28 > 0:26:32- Telescope?- Yes. What literary prize did Julian Barnes describe as,
0:26:32 > 0:26:35"posh bingo," before he finally won it in 2011?
0:26:35 > 0:26:36- Booker.- Yes.
0:26:36 > 0:26:37Which musical family, brought up as Mormons,
0:26:37 > 0:26:41first entered the UK top 10 with Crazy Horses in November 1972?
0:26:41 > 0:26:42- Osmonds.- Yes.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Which English archaeologist discovered the tomb
0:26:44 > 0:26:47of the ancient Egyptian King Tutankhamen in 1922?
0:26:50 > 0:26:51- Hastings?- No, Carter.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54What was the name of Britain's first offshore pirate radio station,
0:26:54 > 0:26:56which started broadcasting in March '64?
0:26:56 > 0:27:00- Caroline?- Yes. In which North Yorkshire seaside resort... - BEEP
0:27:00 > 0:27:02..is the Stephen Joseph Theatre, where most of
0:27:02 > 0:27:05Alan Ayckbourn's plays are first performed?
0:27:05 > 0:27:07- Scarborough?- Is correct.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Three passes. Sue MacGregor!
0:27:09 > 0:27:11- She'll be so upset!- I know, I know! LAUGHTER
0:27:11 > 0:27:15Stephen Fry wrote Moab Is My Washpot and all of those,
0:27:15 > 0:27:21and Prokofiev wrote the music for The Apprentice.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24And you'll never live down the Johnson one, will you?
0:27:24 > 0:27:26- But I got Blue!- You did! - The Eurovision Song Contest!
0:27:26 > 0:27:32How about that? How about that? And here's the point, you got 26 points.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34APPLAUSE
0:27:44 > 0:27:47Well, how close was that? Let's have a look at all the scores.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50In joint third place, with 15 points apiece,
0:27:50 > 0:27:52are Jason Manford and Erin Boag.
0:27:52 > 0:27:56In second place, with 24 points, Nathaniel Parker.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59In first place, with 26 points, Jacqui Smith.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02APPLAUSE
0:28:10 > 0:28:11Jacqui!
0:28:15 > 0:28:20- Congratulations.- Thank you very much.- Well done. How does...
0:28:20 > 0:28:22How does winning that compare with winning an election?
0:28:22 > 0:28:25- You can be honest. - Well, I lost the last election,
0:28:25 > 0:28:27so this is a massive, big improvement, thank you very much!
0:28:27 > 0:28:30Well done, well done!
0:28:30 > 0:28:31Thanks to all very much indeed for watching,
0:28:31 > 0:28:35do join us again for more Celebrity Mastermind.
0:28:35 > 0:28:36Good night.
0:28:36 > 0:28:39APPLAUSE
0:28:44 > 0:28:47You don't have to be a celebrity to appear on the show.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50So, if you would like to appear in the next series on BBC Two,
0:28:50 > 0:28:58then do visit us online at bbc.co.uk/mastermind.
0:29:04 > 0:29:07Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:29:07 > 0:29:10E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk