Episode 5

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05Four celebrities who hope they know everything there is to know

0:00:05 > 0:00:07about their specialist subjects.

0:00:07 > 0:00:10But can they cut it on television's toughest quiz?

0:00:11 > 0:00:13They've agreed to put themselves in the hot seat

0:00:13 > 0:00:16for their chosen charity,

0:00:16 > 0:00:19and only one person can be the winner.

0:00:19 > 0:00:23Who will be crowned tonight's Celebrity Mastermind?

0:00:40 > 0:00:44Our first celebrity in the spotlight tonight is the actress Adele Silva.

0:00:44 > 0:00:48Her specialist subject, the children's books of Roald Dahl.

0:00:48 > 0:00:50Television doctor Chris Van Tulleken

0:00:50 > 0:00:53has chosen Sir Ranulph Fiennes as his subject.

0:00:53 > 0:00:55The 1st Earl of Durham is the specialist subject

0:00:55 > 0:00:58of the agony aunt Denise Robertson.

0:00:58 > 0:01:00And the comedian Milton Jones.

0:01:00 > 0:01:03His subject? Potatoes.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06APPLAUSE

0:01:14 > 0:01:19Hello. I'm John Humphrys and welcome to Celebrity Mastermind.

0:01:19 > 0:01:23As ever, our contenders have agreed to put their reputations on the line

0:01:23 > 0:01:25by answering one-and-a-half minutes of questions

0:01:25 > 0:01:27on their specialist subject,

0:01:27 > 0:01:29and two minutes on general knowledge

0:01:29 > 0:01:32in the bold attempt to earn the kudos

0:01:32 > 0:01:37of becoming Mastermind Champion and taking home this elegant trophy.

0:01:37 > 0:01:41So, let's ask our first contender to join us, please.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49- It's very quiet.- Very quiet.

0:01:49 > 0:01:51- And your name is?- Adele Silva.

0:01:51 > 0:01:54- Your chosen charity? - The Alzheimer's Society.

0:01:54 > 0:01:58- And your chosen subject? - The children's stories of Roald Dahl.

0:01:58 > 0:02:01The children's stories of Roald Dahl in 90 seconds. Here we go.

0:02:01 > 0:02:04What is the name of Matilda's formidable headmistress

0:02:04 > 0:02:07at Crunchem Hall Primary School, who was once a famous athlete?

0:02:07 > 0:02:08- Agatha Trunchbull.- Indeed.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11What architectural feature is missing from the structure

0:02:11 > 0:02:12of the home of Mr and Mrs Twit?

0:02:15 > 0:02:16- No windows.- No windows.

0:02:16 > 0:02:17In George's Marvellous Medicine,

0:02:17 > 0:02:19what does George's mother see towering over him

0:02:19 > 0:02:22when she returns from doing her shopping in the village?

0:02:22 > 0:02:24- Grandma.- A gigantic hen.

0:02:24 > 0:02:27The Grand High Witch orders all the other witches

0:02:27 > 0:02:30to resign from their jobs and buy what type of business?

0:02:30 > 0:02:31- Sweet shops.- Yes.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34Which classic novel is the first book that Mrs Phelps the librarian

0:02:34 > 0:02:36chooses for Matilda to read after

0:02:36 > 0:02:38she's finished all the children's books?

0:02:38 > 0:02:40- Great expectations?- Yes.

0:02:40 > 0:02:41In Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,

0:02:41 > 0:02:43what is the name of the fat nine-year-old boy

0:02:43 > 0:02:45who finds the first golden ticket?

0:02:45 > 0:02:47- Augustus Gloop.- Yes.

0:02:47 > 0:02:49Which brand of shampoo is the first ingredient

0:02:49 > 0:02:52that George put into his marvellous medicine?

0:02:52 > 0:02:54- Pass.- When the Twits are out shopping,

0:02:54 > 0:02:57the monkeys and the birds put all their furniture on the ceiling,

0:02:57 > 0:02:59making the house appear to be upside down.

0:02:59 > 0:03:03What are the items they're shopping for?

0:03:03 > 0:03:04Pass.

0:03:04 > 0:03:07Which animal did Veruca Salt try to take without permission,

0:03:07 > 0:03:10only to find herself attacked by 100 of them?

0:03:10 > 0:03:11- Squirrel.- Yes.

0:03:11 > 0:03:12Matilda's father is mean

0:03:12 > 0:03:15when she wants to eat her supper in the dining room and read a book.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17What does she put in his hat to punish him?

0:03:17 > 0:03:18- Superglue.- Yes.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20In the Witches, it's rumoured the American witches

0:03:20 > 0:03:23can turn kids into an item of food in order to trick parents

0:03:23 > 0:03:26into eating their own children! What food is it?

0:03:26 > 0:03:27- Pass.- What special ingredient

0:03:27 > 0:03:30does Mrs Twit add to the spaghetti in her husband's lunch

0:03:30 > 0:03:33in revenge after he put a frog in her bed?

0:03:33 > 0:03:36- Worms.- Yes. Big, long worms, to be precise.

0:03:36 > 0:03:39You had three passes.

0:03:39 > 0:03:43- It was hot dogs...- Oh! - ..they turned them into.

0:03:43 > 0:03:47Shotguns, the Twits were out buying - or at least trying to buy.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49And Golden Gloss was the hair shampoo

0:03:49 > 0:03:52- in the first ingredient in the marvellous medicine.- OK.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55- You have, Adele, eight points. - Oh! Thank you.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58APPLAUSE

0:04:03 > 0:04:05And our next contender, please.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13- And your name is? - Christopher Van Tulleken.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15- Your chosen charity?- Merlin.

0:04:15 > 0:04:19- And your chosen subject?- The life and achievements of Ranulph Fiennes.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21Ranulph Fiennes in 90 seconds.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23In May 2009, Fiennes became the first person

0:04:23 > 0:04:25to have crossed both polar ice caps

0:04:25 > 0:04:27and to reach the summit of which mountain?

0:04:27 > 0:04:28- Mount Everest.- Yes.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30In what vehicle did he lead an expedition

0:04:30 > 0:04:32up the length of the Nile in 1968?

0:04:32 > 0:04:34- Canoes.- Hovercraft.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36Whom did Fiennes achieve the first unsupported crossing

0:04:36 > 0:04:39of the Antarctic continent in 1992-93,

0:04:39 > 0:04:41the longest recorded polar journey in history?

0:04:41 > 0:04:43- Mike Stroud.- Yes.

0:04:43 > 0:04:45What regiment did he join in 1966,

0:04:45 > 0:04:47becoming the youngest captain in the Army?

0:04:47 > 0:04:48- The Special Air Service.- Yes.

0:04:48 > 0:04:51In spite of his fear of heights and limited climbing experience,

0:04:51 > 0:04:54he did climb the north face of which Alpine peak in 2007.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56- The Eiger.- Yes.

0:04:56 > 0:04:57What was the name of his Jack Russell

0:04:57 > 0:04:59who holds the distinction of being the only dog

0:04:59 > 0:05:02to have cocked his leg at both the North and South Poles?

0:05:02 > 0:05:03- Buffy.- Yes.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05Which actor provides background commentary

0:05:05 > 0:05:07to the film To The Ends Of The Earth,

0:05:07 > 0:05:08a Fiennes trans-globe expedition?

0:05:08 > 0:05:11- Richard Burton.- What physical feat did he complete

0:05:11 > 0:05:15between October 26th and November 2nd 2003,

0:05:15 > 0:05:17having fought his way back from a heart attack?

0:05:17 > 0:05:20Seven marathons in seven days in seven continents.

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Fiennes was dismissed from the SAS for a prank

0:05:22 > 0:05:25that involved blowing up part of the set of a film

0:05:25 > 0:05:28after hearing local villagers didn't like it. Name the film.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31- Dr Doolittle.- What name was given to Fiennes' ship

0:05:31 > 0:05:33for his trans-globe expedition?

0:05:34 > 0:05:35The Benjamin Bowring.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38In his autobiography, Fiennes shows his family tree

0:05:38 > 0:05:40going back to which major historical figure,

0:05:40 > 0:05:41who died in the year 814?

0:05:44 > 0:05:46- Hugh Stitch Fiennes. - It was Charlemagne.

0:05:46 > 0:05:49Which inventor sponsored Fiennes

0:05:49 > 0:05:52on his solo expedition to the Antarctic in 1966?

0:05:52 > 0:05:56He produced a special edition Antarctic Vacuum Cleaner

0:05:56 > 0:05:57sold in aid of charity?

0:05:57 > 0:05:59- James Dyson. - James Dyson is correct.

0:05:59 > 0:06:02Chris, you have no passes, ten points.

0:06:02 > 0:06:04APPLAUSE

0:06:10 > 0:06:12And our next contender, please.

0:06:19 > 0:06:22- And your name is?- Denise Robertson.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25- Your chosen charity? - The Bubble Foundation.

0:06:25 > 0:06:29- And your chosen subject?- John George Lambton, 1st Earl of Durham.

0:06:29 > 0:06:311st Earl of Durham in 90 seconds.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34What nickname was given to John Lambton, 1st Earl of Durham,

0:06:34 > 0:06:37because of his support for parliamentary reform,

0:06:37 > 0:06:38including the secret ballot?

0:06:38 > 0:06:40Radical Jack.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42When Durham decided to join the army in 1809,

0:06:42 > 0:06:44he got a commission with a regiment

0:06:44 > 0:06:46often called the Prince Of Wales's Own.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48- Which regiment? - The 10th Hussars.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51After his victory in the 1814 by-election,

0:06:51 > 0:06:52Durham made his maiden speech

0:06:52 > 0:06:55in the House of Commons on what subject?

0:06:55 > 0:06:57Sweden was going to take over Norway.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59Exactly, that will do it.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01In which street was Durham's London address,

0:07:01 > 0:07:03where the 1830 committee of four,

0:07:03 > 0:07:05consisting of Durham, John Russell,

0:07:05 > 0:07:06Sir James Graham and Lord Duncannon

0:07:06 > 0:07:09met to draw up a bill on parliamentary reform?

0:07:09 > 0:07:10Cleveland Row.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13Which fellow MP gave him the nickname The Angry Boy?

0:07:13 > 0:07:14Creevey.

0:07:14 > 0:07:16Durham spent some of his childhood

0:07:16 > 0:07:17with which Bristol physician

0:07:17 > 0:07:19who supervised his early education?

0:07:19 > 0:07:20Dr Beddoes.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22In 1838, Durham was appointed Governor-in-Chief

0:07:22 > 0:07:25of a country where serious protests were taking place

0:07:25 > 0:07:28against continuing British rule. What was the country?

0:07:28 > 0:07:29- Canada.- In December 1816,

0:07:29 > 0:07:31Durham married Louisa Elizabeth,

0:07:31 > 0:07:34daughter of which future Whig Prime Minister?

0:07:34 > 0:07:36- Earl Grey.- With whom did Durham fight a duel

0:07:36 > 0:07:37after being called a liar

0:07:37 > 0:07:39when supporting a fellow Whig candidate

0:07:39 > 0:07:41in a neighbouring constituency?

0:07:41 > 0:07:42Beaumont.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44In 1833, Durham entertained the young Princess Victoria

0:07:44 > 0:07:46at Cowes with a firework display

0:07:46 > 0:07:49that included his family motto. What is it?

0:07:49 > 0:07:51"Le jour viendra."

0:07:51 > 0:07:53In which seaside resort did Durham die,

0:07:53 > 0:07:56probably from tuberculosis on July 28th, 1840?

0:07:56 > 0:07:58- Cowes.- The architects who turned Lambton Hall

0:07:58 > 0:08:00into a castle, complete with turrets,

0:08:00 > 0:08:03were a father and son. What was their surname?

0:08:03 > 0:08:05- Bonomi.- Bonomi is correct. No passes.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07You got them all right. 12 points.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10APPLAUSE

0:08:19 > 0:08:21And our final contender, please.

0:08:21 > 0:08:23JOHN LAUGHS

0:08:23 > 0:08:26They'll be well-rubbed, your hands.

0:08:26 > 0:08:27Your name is?

0:08:27 > 0:08:29Milton Jones. LAUGHTER

0:08:29 > 0:08:33- Your chosen charity?- Club Capernaum.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36- And your specialist subject? - Potatoes.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38Potatoes, in 90 seconds, here we go.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40Potatoes were first brought to Europe

0:08:40 > 0:08:42in the 16th century by the Spanish.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44From which continent did they bring them back?

0:08:44 > 0:08:46- South America.- On which of the Channel Islands

0:08:46 > 0:08:48is the celebrated Royal New Potato grown?

0:08:48 > 0:08:51- Jersey.- Which long-running American television series,

0:08:51 > 0:08:53- set during the Korean War...- MASH.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55shares its name with a form of cooked potato

0:08:55 > 0:08:56used to top a shepherd's pie?

0:08:56 > 0:08:57Still MASH.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00What was the name of the Dutch post-impressionist artist

0:09:00 > 0:09:02who painted The Potato Eaters in 1885?

0:09:02 > 0:09:03Van Gogh.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05Which 1995 animated film and its sequels

0:09:05 > 0:09:08features Mr Potato Head as a character?

0:09:08 > 0:09:10In the second film in the series,

0:09:10 > 0:09:12he is joined by Mrs Potato Head.

0:09:12 > 0:09:13Toy Story.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15In 1992, on a visit to a school,

0:09:15 > 0:09:17the American Vice President Dan Quayle

0:09:17 > 0:09:20suggested a student had misspelled the word potato.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23What letter did he encourage him to add to the end of it?

0:09:23 > 0:09:25- E.- The man who first promoted

0:09:25 > 0:09:27the growing and eating of potatoes in France

0:09:27 > 0:09:30has a station on the Paris Metro named after him.

0:09:30 > 0:09:33It also gives his name to many potato dishes. Who was he?

0:09:33 > 0:09:34Parmentier.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36Which British nickname for the potato

0:09:36 > 0:09:38is shared by a type of digging and weeding tool

0:09:38 > 0:09:41and originally meant a short knife or dagger?

0:09:41 > 0:09:43- Spud.- What well-known variety of potato,

0:09:43 > 0:09:45introduced in 1902,

0:09:45 > 0:09:48is named after the British monarch of the time?

0:09:48 > 0:09:49King Edward.

0:09:49 > 0:09:50What name was given

0:09:50 > 0:09:52to the poor quality variety of potato

0:09:52 > 0:09:55imported into Ireland from Scotland in the 1800s?

0:09:55 > 0:09:57It was the main variety grown in Ireland

0:09:57 > 0:09:58before the famine.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00- Lugger?- Lumper.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03What name from the Italian for "knot of wood"

0:10:03 > 0:10:05is used for little dumplings, often made with potato flour,

0:10:05 > 0:10:07cooked in boiling water

0:10:07 > 0:10:09and served with sauces and cheese?

0:10:09 > 0:10:11- Gnocchi.- Gnocchi is correct.

0:10:11 > 0:10:14No passes, Milton. You have ten points.

0:10:14 > 0:10:18APPLAUSE

0:10:21 > 0:10:26A good high-scoring round there. Let's have a look at the scores.

0:10:26 > 0:10:28In fourth place, eight points, Adele Silva.

0:10:28 > 0:10:30Joint second place, ten points apiece,

0:10:30 > 0:10:33Chris Van Tulleken and Milton Jones.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36In the lead with 12 points, Denise Robertson.

0:10:36 > 0:10:37APPLAUSE

0:10:39 > 0:10:41So it is the General Knowledge round now

0:10:41 > 0:10:44and if there's a tie at the end of it, then the number of passes

0:10:44 > 0:10:48is taken into account and the person with the fewer passes is the winner.

0:10:48 > 0:10:53So let's get on with it and ask Adele to join us again, please.

0:10:53 > 0:10:59- And you did quite a long time in Emmerdale, didn't you?- I did, yes.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02And now you're doing something that requires you to improvise.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05- Is that a bit scary?- Erm, I love it.

0:11:05 > 0:11:06I went to drama school,

0:11:06 > 0:11:09so improvisation I used to love in drama classes,

0:11:09 > 0:11:11so when I got a call from my agent saying,

0:11:11 > 0:11:16"You've got a part in this new crime drama, but everything's improvised,"

0:11:16 > 0:11:17I was really excited.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20Obviously, the plot is all worked out ahead of time,

0:11:20 > 0:11:22so you know how it's going to begin and end.

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Yeah, you're given a breakdown for each scene,

0:11:24 > 0:11:28which would say, for example, "John is behind his booth."

0:11:28 > 0:11:31"Scene Two, John finds out that all the questions have been stolen."

0:11:31 > 0:11:33"Scene Three, he looks to the audience

0:11:33 > 0:11:35"to find out who he thinks it might be."

0:11:35 > 0:11:39- That kind of thing. - And what character do you play?

0:11:39 > 0:11:42I played Moira Young, who stole people's identities

0:11:42 > 0:11:45and then...another naughty girl.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48- Another?- Yeah, I usually play the bad girls for some reason.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50- I don't know why - I'm so nice! - Well, quite!

0:11:50 > 0:11:54There must be something about you that they've spotted that we...

0:11:54 > 0:11:58I know. Or maybe I'm just a really good actress.

0:11:58 > 0:12:00- That'll be it.- Yeah.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02Now, you have eight points

0:12:02 > 0:12:05and this is the General Knowledge round now,

0:12:05 > 0:12:06and there's two minutes of it.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09Here we go, two minutes, General Knowledge, starting now.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11Cashew and pistachio are both types of what food?

0:12:11 > 0:12:13- Nut.- Which actress from Sex And The City

0:12:13 > 0:12:16is often known by her initials SJP?

0:12:16 > 0:12:17Sarah Jessica Parker.

0:12:17 > 0:12:20The formal end-of-year dance and social gathering

0:12:20 > 0:12:21in an American high school or college

0:12:21 > 0:12:23is known by what name?

0:12:23 > 0:12:24- Prom.- In which musical

0:12:24 > 0:12:26do Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly avoid prison

0:12:26 > 0:12:28and end up in vaudeville

0:12:28 > 0:12:30through the efforts of the lawyer Billy Flynn?

0:12:30 > 0:12:31- Chicago. - What type of headache

0:12:31 > 0:12:34is characterised by visual disturbance, nausea

0:12:34 > 0:12:35and sensitivity to light?

0:12:35 > 0:12:36Migraine.

0:12:36 > 0:12:37Which '80s pop group

0:12:37 > 0:12:41had hits with Manic Monday and Eternal Flame?

0:12:41 > 0:12:42- The Bangles.- Which contest,

0:12:42 > 0:12:44involving two teams pulling at opposite ends of a rope

0:12:44 > 0:12:47until one drags the other over a centre line

0:12:47 > 0:12:49was an Olympic sport from 1900 to 1920?

0:12:49 > 0:12:50Tug of war.

0:12:50 > 0:12:54Lionel Shriver's Orange Prize-winning novel of 2005

0:12:54 > 0:12:56is called We Need To Talk About whom?

0:12:58 > 0:12:59- Kevin.- In which romantic comedy

0:12:59 > 0:13:01does Charles, played by Hugh Grant,

0:13:01 > 0:13:03jilt Duckface at the altar

0:13:03 > 0:13:04when his true love, Carrie, turns up

0:13:04 > 0:13:07and says that she and her husband have separated?

0:13:07 > 0:13:08Four Weddings And A Funeral.

0:13:08 > 0:13:09What name, derived from

0:13:09 > 0:13:12the Greek words for "out" and "oath",

0:13:12 > 0:13:14is given to the act of expelling evil spirits

0:13:14 > 0:13:15through certain ceremonies?

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Exorcism.

0:13:17 > 0:13:18Curly and flat-leafed

0:13:18 > 0:13:20are the two main types of a herb related to celery

0:13:20 > 0:13:22and one of the most commonly used in cookery.

0:13:22 > 0:13:23Which herb is it?

0:13:23 > 0:13:25Parsley.

0:13:25 > 0:13:26What does the letter E stand for

0:13:26 > 0:13:29in the television series abbreviated to TOWIE?

0:13:29 > 0:13:30Oh, Essex.

0:13:30 > 0:13:33In the Bible, which vessel was made of gopher wood

0:13:33 > 0:13:37and measured 300 cubits long, 50 wide and 30 high?

0:13:37 > 0:13:39- Ark.- Yes, Noah's Ark.

0:13:39 > 0:13:42In which Asian country are the holiday destinations

0:13:42 > 0:13:44of Koh Samui and Chiang Mai?

0:13:44 > 0:13:45- Thailand. - Which bird has a train

0:13:45 > 0:13:47of metallic green tail feathers?

0:13:47 > 0:13:50Each feather is tipped with a brightly coloured eye spot.

0:13:51 > 0:13:52- Parrot.- Peacock.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55What is the name of David and Victoria Beckham's daughter,

0:13:55 > 0:13:57born in Los Angeles in July 2011?

0:13:57 > 0:13:58Harper.

0:13:58 > 0:13:59Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood

0:13:59 > 0:14:02are the judges on which BBC2 cookery competition?

0:14:02 > 0:14:05Oh, The Great Bake Off. Great British Bake Off.

0:14:05 > 0:14:07What non-profit organisation was founded in 1992

0:14:07 > 0:14:10to help farmers and other workers in poorer countries

0:14:10 > 0:14:13market their produce in the wider world?

0:14:13 > 0:14:14BEEP

0:14:14 > 0:14:15I would have passed on that one.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17You would have... Well, you can.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19You can pass and I'll give you the answer,

0:14:19 > 0:14:22cos it is the Fair Trade Foundation...

0:14:22 > 0:14:24- Oh, of course! - ..which you knew anyway.

0:14:24 > 0:14:27- But look, you did brilliantly, you got 24 points.- Oh!

0:14:27 > 0:14:29APPLAUSE

0:14:36 > 0:14:40And now, Chris, again please.

0:14:40 > 0:14:45And, erm, the sort of essence of your job, at least a big part of it,

0:14:45 > 0:14:47seems to me to be highly improbable,

0:14:47 > 0:14:53because you're a doctor who goes with explorers to dangerous places,

0:14:53 > 0:14:55and yet they're BBC programmes.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Now, I know health and safety at the BBC,

0:14:57 > 0:15:00and they won't let you climb a ladder or cross a road

0:15:00 > 0:15:03unless you sign 19 different forms.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06The people who make us do that aren't out on the Arctic ice

0:15:06 > 0:15:10and, of course, I write the risk assessments, which makes it easier.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12So you say, "Just a walk in the park."

0:15:12 > 0:15:15- Yeah, I'm not going to be doing any more of these.- No, that's it now.

0:15:15 > 0:15:18You just destroyed your career!

0:15:18 > 0:15:20What are the dangers? What are the real risks?

0:15:20 > 0:15:23Polar bears, falling in the sea, drowning, hypothermia,

0:15:23 > 0:15:27exposure, dehydration, frostbite.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29- It's quite a long list. - Sounds a barrel of laughs.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Haemorrhoids, I mean, most of...

0:15:31 > 0:15:33Enough, already!

0:15:34 > 0:15:37So, an obvious question - why do it?

0:15:37 > 0:15:40Because for every sort of 20 days that you end up suffering,

0:15:40 > 0:15:42you get five minutes that make it all worth it.

0:15:42 > 0:15:45You see some extraordinary sight, or some beautiful animal,

0:15:45 > 0:15:47or some amazing sunset that make it worth it,

0:15:47 > 0:15:51and when you come home and you're not doing that thing anymore,

0:15:51 > 0:15:54- you appreciate the things back home that much more.- But only briefly.

0:15:54 > 0:15:58- Then you have to go back.- And then you have to go back, exactly!

0:15:58 > 0:16:00Right, well, you've got 10 points already.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03Let's see if you can beat 24 with your General Knowledge.

0:16:03 > 0:16:05Two minutes, starting now. In which American state

0:16:05 > 0:16:07are the cities of San Diego and San Francisco?

0:16:07 > 0:16:11- California.- How many sides does an octagon have?

0:16:11 > 0:16:12Eight.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Which '90s television show

0:16:14 > 0:16:18presented Gotcha Oscars to its celebrity victims?

0:16:18 > 0:16:19Pass.

0:16:19 > 0:16:20Seismology is the science and study

0:16:20 > 0:16:23of what natural occurrences and their causes and effects?

0:16:23 > 0:16:25- Earthquakes. - Which six-foot-tall

0:16:25 > 0:16:28Australian model and actress is nicknamed The Body?

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Elle Macpherson.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33Who lost to Roger Federer in the Wimbledon Final

0:16:33 > 0:16:34but beat him in straight sets

0:16:34 > 0:16:36to win the Men's Singles Gold Medal

0:16:36 > 0:16:38at the 2012 Olympics?

0:16:38 > 0:16:40- Andy Murray.- According to popular legend,

0:16:40 > 0:16:41what was Archimedes doing

0:16:41 > 0:16:43when he discovered the principle of buoyancy

0:16:43 > 0:16:45and ran naked into the street shouting, "Eureka?"

0:16:45 > 0:16:46Having a bath.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48Which children's television character

0:16:48 > 0:16:51has a bulldozer named Scoop, a cement mixer called Dizzy

0:16:51 > 0:16:53- and a crane called Lofty? - Bob...- Er...

0:16:53 > 0:16:54..The Builder.

0:16:54 > 0:16:55What title is reserved exclusively

0:16:55 > 0:16:57for the heir apparent to the British throne

0:16:57 > 0:16:59and is bestowed only by the monarch?

0:17:02 > 0:17:03The Prince Of Wales?

0:17:03 > 0:17:05Jarvis Cocker is the lead singer with which band,

0:17:05 > 0:17:08whose hits include Disco 2000 and Common People?

0:17:08 > 0:17:12- Pulp.- Which scientist opened the 2012 London Paralympics

0:17:12 > 0:17:13with a big bang?

0:17:15 > 0:17:17- Brian Cox.- Stephen Hawking.

0:17:17 > 0:17:18What name, of Aztec origin,

0:17:18 > 0:17:22is the more common name for the prairie or barking wolf?

0:17:22 > 0:17:25- Coyote.- Which Oscar-winning American actor

0:17:25 > 0:17:28starred in Saving Private Ryan, Big and The Green Mile?

0:17:28 > 0:17:29- Tom Hanks.- What name is given

0:17:29 > 0:17:31to the ten administrative divisions

0:17:31 > 0:17:34that, along with three territories, make up Canada?

0:17:35 > 0:17:36Provinces.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38Which of Shakespeare's tragedies,

0:17:38 > 0:17:40about a prince exacting revenge,

0:17:40 > 0:17:42is set mainly in Elsinore Castle in Denmark?

0:17:42 > 0:17:44- Hamlet.- For what purpose

0:17:44 > 0:17:47is ethylene glycol used in car radiators...?

0:17:47 > 0:17:49- Anti-freeze. - Anti-freeze is correct.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51Ian Fleming took the name of a Bond villain

0:17:51 > 0:17:52from a school friend at Eton

0:17:52 > 0:17:55whose son is now a well-known radio cricket commentator.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57What's the name of the villain?

0:17:59 > 0:18:00Pass.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02What two-word phrase of Latin origin

0:18:02 > 0:18:04means "the other way round?"

0:18:04 > 0:18:07BEEP

0:18:07 > 0:18:09- Vice versa.- Yes.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11That was an important point as well,

0:18:11 > 0:18:14but you'll be very cross you didn't say this one,

0:18:14 > 0:18:16because the name of the Bond villain,

0:18:16 > 0:18:18cricket commentator, Blofeld.

0:18:18 > 0:18:23And the Gotcha Oscars, Noel's House Party.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26- But you got, Chris, 25 points. - Fabulous.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28APPLAUSE

0:18:34 > 0:18:38And now Milton Jones again, please.

0:18:39 > 0:18:43And, Milton, you do one-man shows

0:18:43 > 0:18:46and you're on stage for sometimes 90 minutes or more.

0:18:46 > 0:18:49- Yes.- Endless one-liners.- Yes.

0:18:49 > 0:18:52And I can see you doing that for a few minutes,

0:18:52 > 0:18:53but 90 minutes of one-liners?

0:18:53 > 0:18:56Yeah, after a while you can see blood coming out of people's ears.

0:18:56 > 0:19:01I think I do one-liners cos I've got attention deficit...

0:19:01 > 0:19:03Oh, look at those lights.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05LAUGHTER

0:19:05 > 0:19:06Quite. Go on, give us a few.

0:19:06 > 0:19:09My Auntie Marge has been ill for so long,

0:19:09 > 0:19:12we've changed her name to I Can't Believe She's Not Better.

0:19:12 > 0:19:14LAUGHTER

0:19:16 > 0:19:18I was walking along the other day

0:19:18 > 0:19:21and on the road I saw a small dead baby ghost.

0:19:21 > 0:19:23Although thinking about it...

0:19:23 > 0:19:25it might have been a handkerchief.

0:19:25 > 0:19:27LAUGHTER

0:19:30 > 0:19:34One more, I mean, this is addictive. I could go on.

0:19:34 > 0:19:38If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel

0:19:38 > 0:19:42then onto a little see-saw then jump through a hoop of fire.

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Cos they train for that.

0:19:47 > 0:19:50I've started so I'll finish.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52You never can finish!

0:19:52 > 0:19:56But do you not ever find yourself on stage and think,

0:19:56 > 0:19:58"I can't think of another one?"

0:19:58 > 0:20:01Yeah, sort of, but then you just say, "Hey, where are you all from?"

0:20:01 > 0:20:04You know, you speak to someone and then eventually you remember

0:20:04 > 0:20:07- what you were going to say in the first place.- That's it, is it?

0:20:07 > 0:20:10If the bloke on stage says, "Hey, where you all from then?"

0:20:10 > 0:20:11you'll know he's...

0:20:11 > 0:20:14Yeah, if he does that about seven times you'll know he's got amnesia.

0:20:14 > 0:20:16LAUGHTER

0:20:18 > 0:20:21Well, you have ten points. The score to beat now is 25.

0:20:21 > 0:20:25So, let's see if you can do it with your General Knowledge.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27Two minutes, starting now.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29Which planet is sometimes known as the Red Planet?

0:20:29 > 0:20:31- Mars. - In Robert Browning's poem,

0:20:31 > 0:20:33who gets rid of the rats in the town of Hamelin?

0:20:33 > 0:20:35- Pied Piper. - Which French engineer

0:20:35 > 0:20:37is best known for the tower in Paris

0:20:37 > 0:20:39- that bears his name?- Eiffel.

0:20:39 > 0:20:41What is the common name for the bulge in the neck

0:20:41 > 0:20:42formed by the thyroid cartilage

0:20:42 > 0:20:44that is particularly prominent in adult men?

0:20:44 > 0:20:45Adam's apple.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47The Australian tribute band Bjorn Again

0:20:47 > 0:20:49play the songs of which group?

0:20:49 > 0:20:52- Abba.- Who plays Lee Mack's best friend and landlord

0:20:52 > 0:20:53in the television series Not Going Out?

0:20:53 > 0:20:56His brother Jeremy's a television and Radio 2 presenter.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58- Tim Vine.- Which fictional vampire lands at Whitby

0:20:58 > 0:21:01in the shape of a wolf running from a beached ship

0:21:01 > 0:21:02called the Demeter?

0:21:02 > 0:21:04- Pass.- Butternut is a variety of which vegetable

0:21:04 > 0:21:06believed to be native to the New World

0:21:06 > 0:21:08and related to marrows and pumpkins?

0:21:08 > 0:21:10- Squash. - What catastrophic event

0:21:10 > 0:21:12began on the 2nd of September 1666

0:21:12 > 0:21:13at the house of the king's baker

0:21:13 > 0:21:15in Pudding Lane near London Bridge?

0:21:15 > 0:21:17- Fire of London.- "Four legs good, two legs bad"

0:21:17 > 0:21:20is a quotation from which George Orwell novel?

0:21:20 > 0:21:21- 1984?- Animal Farm.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23Which comedian who worked as a psychiatric nurse

0:21:23 > 0:21:25before turning to show business

0:21:25 > 0:21:27began her career on the stand-up comedy circuit

0:21:27 > 0:21:28under the name the Sea Monster?

0:21:28 > 0:21:30- Jo Brand.- A bowler, a beanie and a beret

0:21:30 > 0:21:31are all types of...?

0:21:31 > 0:21:33- Hat.- According to the New Testament,

0:21:33 > 0:21:35who lived in the desert on locusts and honey

0:21:35 > 0:21:36wearing a robe made from camel's hair

0:21:36 > 0:21:38and preaching the coming of the Messiah?

0:21:38 > 0:21:41- John the Baptist.- What word for the intense white light

0:21:41 > 0:21:42once used as theatre stage lighting

0:21:42 > 0:21:45has come to mean the centre of public attention?

0:21:45 > 0:21:47- Limelight. - Which country singer

0:21:47 > 0:21:48is played by Joaquin Phoenix

0:21:48 > 0:21:51in the 2005 film Walk The Line?

0:21:51 > 0:21:53Johnny...

0:21:53 > 0:21:54Cash.

0:21:54 > 0:21:56In 1911, a man with a wooden leg called Bumper Harris

0:21:56 > 0:21:57was employed to ride

0:21:57 > 0:21:59on a newly-installed piece of machinery

0:21:59 > 0:22:01at the Earls Court Underground Station

0:22:01 > 0:22:02to demonstrate its safety.

0:22:02 > 0:22:03What was it?

0:22:03 > 0:22:04- Tube?- Escalator.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06The long cylindrical grissini

0:22:06 > 0:22:07served in many Italian restaurants

0:22:07 > 0:22:10is sometimes known by what English name?

0:22:10 > 0:22:11- Spaghetti?- Breadsticks.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14Which London theatre, well-known for variety shows,

0:22:14 > 0:22:16opened in 1910 on Argyll Street in Soho?

0:22:16 > 0:22:19- Pass.- In which ship did the Pilgrim Fathers

0:22:19 > 0:22:22succeed in sailing from England to America in 1620?

0:22:22 > 0:22:24Er, pass.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26Which little black dog who always gets into trouble

0:22:26 > 0:22:29lives at Donaldson's Dairy, according to the first title

0:22:29 > 0:22:32in the children's picture book series by Lynley Dodd?

0:22:32 > 0:22:33BEEP

0:22:33 > 0:22:34Er...

0:22:35 > 0:22:39Is it The Book About The Little Black Dog?

0:22:39 > 0:22:42It's not, actually, no. It's Hairy Maclary.

0:22:42 > 0:22:44Yep, I know. Me neither.

0:22:44 > 0:22:47The other passes, the Pilgrim Fathers sailed in the Mayflower.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49The Palladium is that theatre,

0:22:49 > 0:22:54and Dracula was the vampire who landed at Whitby and so on.

0:22:54 > 0:22:55Milton, you got 23 points.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57APPLAUSE

0:23:03 > 0:23:06And finally, Denise again please.

0:23:08 > 0:23:16And, erm, you've been an agony aunt on telly for 20 years?

0:23:16 > 0:23:21- Erm, about 27, 28.- 28 years.

0:23:21 > 0:23:25So what is the - if there is such a thing - the sort of classic problem?

0:23:25 > 0:23:27There isn't a classic problem,

0:23:27 > 0:23:30but there's a classic element to almost every problem.

0:23:30 > 0:23:33It's low self-esteem.

0:23:33 > 0:23:37It's the belief that I deserve what has happened to me,

0:23:37 > 0:23:38or I deserve this treatment.

0:23:39 > 0:23:43And one of the things that I can do is make them feel

0:23:43 > 0:23:47that I think they can do the things that they need to do.

0:23:47 > 0:23:49And are you ever surprised?

0:23:49 > 0:23:52After all these years, do you open a letter or get an email or whatever

0:23:52 > 0:23:55and think, "Good heavens, haven't come across that before?"

0:23:55 > 0:23:58Well, when I started at BBC Breakfast Time,

0:23:58 > 0:24:01there was a joke there that said I had never opened a letter

0:24:01 > 0:24:05without saying, "Oh, I remember when that happened to me."

0:24:05 > 0:24:09- To you?!- To me, yes. That's how I became an agony aunt.

0:24:09 > 0:24:14I had a lot of agony, and I used to write feature articles about it

0:24:14 > 0:24:15and people started writing to me.

0:24:15 > 0:24:18- So I was an agony aunt at the kitchen table.- Right.

0:24:18 > 0:24:24But on the whole, I like human nature better now than I did when I started.

0:24:24 > 0:24:30I very seldom get a letter that makes me cross because it's selfish.

0:24:30 > 0:24:33That very, very seldom happens.

0:24:33 > 0:24:35Well, that's all rather reassuring, isn't it?

0:24:35 > 0:24:38Right, so let's see how you do with your General Knowledge now

0:24:38 > 0:24:41and 25 is now the score to beat.

0:24:41 > 0:24:42Here we go.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44Two minutes of General Knowledge.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46Tortoise shell and tabby are adjectives

0:24:46 > 0:24:49used to describe the colour of which domestic animal?

0:24:49 > 0:24:50Cats.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52Who plays Detective Inspector Jack Frost

0:24:52 > 0:24:54in the television series A Touch of Frost?

0:24:54 > 0:24:56David...Jensen...

0:24:56 > 0:24:57Jason. Prince Albert was the consort

0:24:57 > 0:24:59of which British monarch?

0:24:59 > 0:25:01- Queen Victoria.- Which star sign in the Zodiac

0:25:01 > 0:25:03has a name that means "the Archer?"

0:25:03 > 0:25:04- Er, Aries.- Sagittarius.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06What was the surname of the sisters

0:25:06 > 0:25:09Anne, Charlotte and Emily, all of whom were 19th century novelists?

0:25:09 > 0:25:10- Bronte.- Which football club

0:25:10 > 0:25:14has played their home games at Goodison Park since 1892?

0:25:14 > 0:25:15Everton.

0:25:15 > 0:25:18What branch of alternative medicine originated in China

0:25:18 > 0:25:19consists of inserting needles

0:25:19 > 0:25:21into precise points on the body

0:25:21 > 0:25:23- to cure illness or ease symptoms?- Acupuncture.

0:25:23 > 0:25:24A traditional Eve's pudding

0:25:24 > 0:25:27consists of a layer of sponge over a base of which fruit?

0:25:27 > 0:25:29- Apple.- Who returned to the UK singles charts

0:25:29 > 0:25:31with a re-recording of his first hit,

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Your Song, in July 2002

0:25:33 > 0:25:35in a duet with Alessandro Safina?

0:25:35 > 0:25:37- Pass. - Which East Midlands city

0:25:37 > 0:25:38is renowned for the manufacture

0:25:38 > 0:25:41of cigarettes, bicycles, pharmaceuticals and lace?

0:25:41 > 0:25:42- Pass.- In politics,

0:25:42 > 0:25:44what do the letters MEP stand for?

0:25:44 > 0:25:46Member of the European Parliament.

0:25:46 > 0:25:47Which musical by Lerner and Loewe

0:25:47 > 0:25:50is an adaptation of George Bernard Shaw's play Pygmalion?

0:25:50 > 0:25:52- My Fair Lady. - By what collective name

0:25:52 > 0:25:54are Lakes Superior, Huron, Erie, Michigan

0:25:54 > 0:25:55and Ontario usually known?

0:25:55 > 0:25:57- The Great Lakes. - Who won her second Oscar

0:25:57 > 0:25:59playing Martha opposite her real-life husband

0:25:59 > 0:26:02in the 1966 film Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

0:26:02 > 0:26:04- Elizabeth Taylor.- The flowers of the common shrub Forsythia

0:26:04 > 0:26:06are usually what colour?

0:26:06 > 0:26:07- Yellow.- The holder of which Holy office

0:26:07 > 0:26:10is traditionally elected by the Sacred College of Cardinals?

0:26:10 > 0:26:13- The Pope.- Which Rodgers and Hart song opens with the line,

0:26:13 > 0:26:14"She gets too hungry for dinner at eight,

0:26:14 > 0:26:16"She loves the theatre but never comes late"?

0:26:16 > 0:26:18That's Why The Lady Is A Tramp.

0:26:18 > 0:26:20What name is given to a device for pricking the side of a horse

0:26:20 > 0:26:21in order to urge it forward?

0:26:21 > 0:26:24It consists of a small spike attached to the rider's heel.

0:26:24 > 0:26:28- Spur.- Which chef had his rough-haired Jack Russell terrier, Chalky,

0:26:28 > 0:26:30at his side in many of his television programmes?

0:26:30 > 0:26:31- Pass.- The Jupiter

0:26:31 > 0:26:34is the 41st and last symphony by which composer

0:26:34 > 0:26:36who died aged 35 in 1791?

0:26:36 > 0:26:38- Gustav Holst.- Mozart.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40The favourite pastime of an Irish matriarch,

0:26:40 > 0:26:42created and played by Brendan O'Carroll,

0:26:42 > 0:26:44is interfering in the lives of her children

0:26:44 > 0:26:47and drinking with her friend Winnie McGoogan.

0:26:47 > 0:26:50- What is her name? - Mrs Brown.- Yes.

0:26:50 > 0:26:53Is correct. Those passes, first of all.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55The chef in question was Rick Stein.

0:26:55 > 0:26:59Nottingham is where they make cigarettes, bikes and so on,

0:26:59 > 0:27:03and the singer who came back into the singles chart was Elton John.

0:27:03 > 0:27:07However, Denise, you have scored 27 points.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09APPLAUSE

0:27:18 > 0:27:22Well, she did it. Let's have a look at all of the scores.

0:27:22 > 0:27:25In fourth place with 23 points, Milton Jones.

0:27:25 > 0:27:28Third place with 24 points, Adele Silva.

0:27:28 > 0:27:32Second place with 25 points, Chris Van Tulleken - all high scores.

0:27:32 > 0:27:35But with 27 points, Denise Robertson.

0:27:35 > 0:27:37APPLAUSE

0:27:46 > 0:27:48Denise.

0:27:54 > 0:27:55Congratulations.

0:27:57 > 0:27:59So, next time somebody writes to you and says,

0:27:59 > 0:28:01"Dear Agony Aunt, should I go on Mastermind?"

0:28:01 > 0:28:03- You will say...- Definitely not.

0:28:03 > 0:28:05LAUGHTER

0:28:05 > 0:28:08Well, you couldn't have done any better, could you? Congratulations.

0:28:08 > 0:28:12Thank you all for watching, do join us again for more Masterminds.

0:28:12 > 0:28:13Goodnight.

0:28:13 > 0:28:15APPLAUSE

0:28:15 > 0:28:17You don't have to be a celebrity

0:28:17 > 0:28:19to take part in the regular Mastermind programme.

0:28:19 > 0:28:21So, if you'd like to appear

0:28:21 > 0:28:23in the next series of Mastermind on BBC Two,

0:28:23 > 0:28:27then do visit us online at bbc.co.uk/mastermind.

0:28:31 > 0:28:33Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd