Episode 8

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04Four celebrities who hope they know everything there is to know

0:00:04 > 0:00:07about their specialist subject.

0:00:07 > 0:00:10But can they cut it on television's toughest quiz?

0:00:11 > 0:00:13They've agreed to put themselves in the hot seat

0:00:13 > 0:00:16for their chosen charity.

0:00:16 > 0:00:18And only one person can be the winner.

0:00:19 > 0:00:22Who will be crowned tonight's Celebrity Mastermind?

0:00:40 > 0:00:42Our first celebrity in the spotlight tonight

0:00:42 > 0:00:44is the comedian and actor Steve Punt.

0:00:44 > 0:00:47His specialist subject, the great Tony Hancock.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49The Proms presenter Clemency Burton-Hill

0:00:49 > 0:00:50is next in the firing line.

0:00:50 > 0:00:52Her specialist subject, Downton Abbey.

0:00:52 > 0:00:56The actor Michael Obiora takes on Arsenal Football Club.

0:00:56 > 0:00:58And the BBC weatherman John Hammond

0:00:58 > 0:01:02has chosen Status Quo as his specialist subject.

0:01:02 > 0:01:06APPLAUSE

0:01:15 > 0:01:18Hello. I'm John Humphrys and welcome to Celebrity Mastermind.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21Tonight, four famous folk have chosen to put themselves

0:01:21 > 0:01:24in the hot seat for their chosen charities.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26They will have to answer one and a half minutes

0:01:26 > 0:01:28of questions on their specialist subject

0:01:28 > 0:01:30and two minutes on general knowledge.

0:01:30 > 0:01:34What they get if they win is this handsome trophy

0:01:34 > 0:01:36and, infinitely more importantly, the huge honour

0:01:36 > 0:01:40of becoming one of the nation's Masterminds.

0:01:40 > 0:01:42So let's put them out of their misery

0:01:42 > 0:01:44and ask our first Contender to join us, please.

0:01:51 > 0:01:52And your name is?

0:01:53 > 0:01:54Your chosen charity?

0:01:55 > 0:01:56And your specialist subject?

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Tony Hancock in 90 seconds.

0:02:00 > 0:02:03In which city was the English comedian Tony Hancock born in May 1924,

0:02:03 > 0:02:06though his family moved to Bournemouth when he was three?

0:02:06 > 0:02:08- Birmingham.- In his sketch The Blood Donor,

0:02:08 > 0:02:09when he was told to give a pint of blood,

0:02:09 > 0:02:11what is his much-quoted response after saying,

0:02:11 > 0:02:13"I don't mind giving a reasonable amount,

0:02:13 > 0:02:14"but a pint..."?

0:02:14 > 0:02:16"That's very nearly an armful!"

0:02:16 > 0:02:18In which area of Greater London is 23 Railway Cuttings,

0:02:18 > 0:02:21Hancock's address in his radio and television shows?

0:02:21 > 0:02:22East Cheam.

0:02:22 > 0:02:26After failing to get into the Entertainments National Service Association,

0:02:26 > 0:02:28Hancock got his break when the leader of The Gang Show

0:02:28 > 0:02:31asked him to join his entertainment group. Who was he?

0:02:31 > 0:02:32Er, Ralph Reader.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34In which film does Hancock play an artist

0:02:34 > 0:02:36who tells his landlady he is from the Impressionist school,

0:02:36 > 0:02:38to which she replies "Well, it doesn't impress me"?

0:02:38 > 0:02:40Er, The Rebel.

0:02:40 > 0:02:43Hancock's Half Hour, which first aired on radio in November 1954,

0:02:43 > 0:02:45was written by Ray Galton and which other writer

0:02:45 > 0:02:47whom he met when they were teenagers in a sanatorium?

0:02:47 > 0:02:48Alan Simpson.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Which episode of Hancock's Half Hour

0:02:50 > 0:02:52begins with him saying, "Oh dear, Oh dear, oh dear.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55"Cor dear me. Stone me, what a life. What's the time?"

0:02:55 > 0:02:56Um, Sunday Afternoon At Home.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59In which 1965 film comedy does Hancock appear

0:02:59 > 0:03:01as the scatter-brained inventor, Harry Popperwell?

0:03:01 > 0:03:04Um... Er, The-The-The...

0:03:04 > 0:03:06The Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08In which television episode of Hancock's Half Hour

0:03:08 > 0:03:10does Hancock, as the foreman of a jury, ask,

0:03:10 > 0:03:13"Does Magna Carta mean nothing to you? Did she die in vain?"?

0:03:13 > 0:03:14Twelve Angry Men.

0:03:14 > 0:03:17Which Lancashire-born comedian, who died in July 2012,

0:03:17 > 0:03:20wrote many of Hancock's lines in Educating Archie?

0:03:20 > 0:03:22Oh! Eric... Eric Sykes.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Tony's appearance on a television programme in 1960

0:03:24 > 0:03:26was later described by his brother, Roger,

0:03:26 > 0:03:28as "the biggest mistake he ever made"

0:03:28 > 0:03:31as he was forced to answer searching questions about himself.

0:03:31 > 0:03:32- What was the programme? - BEEP

0:03:32 > 0:03:33Face To Face.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35With John Freeman, which is exactly right.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37No passes, Steve - you got them all right!

0:03:37 > 0:03:3811 points.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41APPLAUSE

0:03:47 > 0:03:49And our next Contender, please.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53That's quite a tough act to follow!

0:03:53 > 0:03:55- JOHN CHUCKLES - No pressure.

0:03:55 > 0:03:56No pressure now(!)

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Your name is?

0:03:58 > 0:03:59Your chosen charity?

0:04:00 > 0:04:02And your specialist subject?

0:04:02 > 0:04:04Downton Abbey in 90 seconds.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06Which Oscar-winning writer created Downton Abbey?

0:04:06 > 0:04:08Julian Fellowes.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11In the opening episode, the Earl of Grantham reads of a major disaster

0:04:11 > 0:04:13with far-reaching consequences for his family.

0:04:13 > 0:04:14What is the disaster?

0:04:14 > 0:04:15The sinking of the Titanic.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18What is the full name of the solicitor from Manchester

0:04:18 > 0:04:20who, as a distant cousin of the Earl,

0:04:20 > 0:04:22becomes the heir to the Downton Estate?

0:04:22 > 0:04:23Matthew Crawley.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25Who is the cook at the Abbey?

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Her failing eyesight causes a problem for dinner guests

0:04:27 > 0:04:29when she sprinkles salt rather than sugar

0:04:29 > 0:04:30over the raspberry meringue.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32Mrs Patmore.

0:04:32 > 0:04:35Which house and estate does the newspaper proprietor Sir Richard Carlisle buy

0:04:35 > 0:04:37to live in with Lady Mary once they are married?

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Haxby Park.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41What is the name of the Turkish attache

0:04:41 > 0:04:44whose death in Lady Mary's bedroom threatens to cause a scandal?

0:04:44 > 0:04:45Kemal Pamuk.

0:04:45 > 0:04:46In the first episode,

0:04:46 > 0:04:49what modern convenience does the Dowager Countess

0:04:49 > 0:04:50say that she could not have in her house

0:04:50 > 0:04:52as she "wouldn't sleep a wink"?

0:04:52 > 0:04:53Electricity.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56Lady Sybil becomes an auxiliary nurse during the First World War.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58In which city does she do her training course?

0:04:58 > 0:04:59York.

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Mr Bates is imprisoned for poisoning his first wife.

0:05:02 > 0:05:03What was her name?

0:05:03 > 0:05:04Vera.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06After his fight with Matthew, Sir Richard Carlisle

0:05:06 > 0:05:09tells the Dowager Countess that he is leaving

0:05:09 > 0:05:10and doubts they will meet again.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12What is her tart reply?

0:05:12 > 0:05:13"Do you promise?"

0:05:13 > 0:05:16While Mr Bates is not working at Downton,

0:05:16 > 0:05:19which other member of staff tries to get closer to Anna,

0:05:19 > 0:05:22giving her a book and hoping to discuss their views on it together?

0:05:22 > 0:05:23She eventually tells him

0:05:23 > 0:05:26that her feelings are still too strong for Bates.

0:05:26 > 0:05:27Molesley.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30Who plays Cora's brash American mother, Martha Levinson,

0:05:30 > 0:05:34who visits Downton for the wedding of Lady Mary to Matthew Crawley?

0:05:34 > 0:05:35Shirley MacLaine. BEEP

0:05:35 > 0:05:38Correct. And you got them all right as well.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40And you have 12 points.

0:05:40 > 0:05:46APPLAUSE

0:05:48 > 0:05:50And our next Contender, please.

0:05:53 > 0:05:54And the pressure's building.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58Pfft, I'm telling you. JOHN CHUCKLES

0:05:58 > 0:05:59Your name?

0:06:00 > 0:06:01Your chosen charity?

0:06:03 > 0:06:04And your chosen subject?

0:06:06 > 0:06:08The Arsenal. 90 seconds.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10For how many games did Arsenal go unbeaten

0:06:10 > 0:06:13from the 7th of May 2003 to the 24th of October '04,

0:06:13 > 0:06:15to set a new Premier League record?

0:06:15 > 0:06:1649.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Which player captained The Invincibles in the '03-'04 season

0:06:18 > 0:06:21and scored the winner in Arsenal's 2-1 defeat

0:06:21 > 0:06:24of Leicester City in the last game of the season?

0:06:24 > 0:06:25Patrick Vieira.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27Against which team did Thierry Henry's brace of goals

0:06:27 > 0:06:30break Ian Wright's scoring record for the club

0:06:30 > 0:06:32in a Champions League match in October '05?

0:06:32 > 0:06:33Sparta Prague.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35What landmark did Arsene Wenger achieve

0:06:35 > 0:06:36when Norwich City visited the Emirates

0:06:36 > 0:06:38in the penultimate game of the '11-'12 season?

0:06:40 > 0:06:41Pass.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44Who captained Arsenal for the first time in a Third Round FA Cup tie

0:06:44 > 0:06:47against Plymouth Argyle in January '09?

0:06:47 > 0:06:48Thierry Henry.

0:06:48 > 0:06:49No, Robin van Persie.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52Jens Lehmann was given a straight red card

0:06:52 > 0:06:53in the 2006 Champions League Final

0:06:53 > 0:06:55when he brought down which player?

0:06:57 > 0:06:58Samuel Eto'o.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01Arsenal won their last major trophy in 2005 when they won the FA Cup.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04how many times have they won that trophy?

0:07:04 > 0:07:05- 13.- 10.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Who joined Arsenal on a free transfer in July 2001,

0:07:08 > 0:07:10played for the club for five years

0:07:10 > 0:07:13and briefly returned again in January 2010 at the age of 35?

0:07:17 > 0:07:18Pass.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20In what year did Arsene Wenger's signings include

0:07:20 > 0:07:23Philippe Senderos, Gael Clichy and Cesc Fabregas?

0:07:23 > 0:07:25Er...

0:07:25 > 0:07:262004.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28Ah, 2003.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31Which team did Arsenal beat 1-0 in the 2003 FA Cup Final

0:07:31 > 0:07:33to lift the trophy for the second year in succession?

0:07:33 > 0:07:34Southampton.

0:07:34 > 0:07:37Who awarded Manchester United a controversial penalty

0:07:37 > 0:07:38in the game at Old Trafford,

0:07:38 > 0:07:42- when the Gunners' 49-match unbeaten run came to an end? - BEEP

0:07:42 > 0:07:43Howard Webb.

0:07:43 > 0:07:44It was Mike Riley.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46- But it's close.- It was close.

0:07:46 > 0:07:48Yeah, very close.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50Your two passes - it was Sol Campbell

0:07:50 > 0:07:53- who went away and came back. - Of course he did.

0:07:53 > 0:08:00And that Arsene Wenger landmark was the 900th game in charge as manager.

0:08:00 > 0:08:02You have, Michael, 5 points.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06APPLAUSE

0:08:11 > 0:08:13And our final Contender, please.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18So the pressure's off you a little bit, John.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22And your name is?

0:08:22 > 0:08:23Your chosen charity?

0:08:23 > 0:08:26And your chosen subject?

0:08:26 > 0:08:28The greatest boogie rock band in the world.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30Otherwise known as?

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Status Quo, in 90 seconds, starting now.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35Which guitarist joined the newly-named Status Quo in 1967?

0:08:35 > 0:08:37He'd previously been in the Highlights.

0:08:37 > 0:08:38Rick Parfitt.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41What is the title of the first single they released?

0:08:41 > 0:08:43It reached the UK top ten in February 1968.

0:08:43 > 0:08:44Pictures Of Matchstick Men.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47In 1990, Status Quo began their 25th anniversary tour

0:08:47 > 0:08:49with a special show at the holiday camp

0:08:49 > 0:08:51where Rick Parfitt and Francis Rossi had first met.

0:08:51 > 0:08:52Which holiday camp?

0:08:52 > 0:08:53Butlins.

0:08:53 > 0:08:56After Status Quo left the record company Pye,

0:08:56 > 0:08:59which progressive rock subsidiary of the Philips Record Company

0:08:59 > 0:09:02did they sign with in the summer of 1972?

0:09:02 > 0:09:03Vertigo.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05With which song did Status Quo kick off

0:09:05 > 0:09:08the '85 Live Aid concert at Wembley Stadium?

0:09:08 > 0:09:09Rockin' All Over The World.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12Status Quo had their second top ten hit in '68

0:09:12 > 0:09:13with the song Ice in the Sun,

0:09:13 > 0:09:17written by Ronnie Scott and which pop star who found fame in the '50s?

0:09:17 > 0:09:18Marty Wilde.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21Which band member had to be represented by a life-size puppet

0:09:21 > 0:09:23for the video promoting the single Rockin' All Over the World

0:09:23 > 0:09:25as he was living in Australia when it was shot?

0:09:25 > 0:09:28- Alan Lancaster. - What was the band's earlier name

0:09:28 > 0:09:30when they released their first single,

0:09:30 > 0:09:33a recording of the Leiber and Stoller song called I Who Have Nothing?

0:09:33 > 0:09:34The Spectres.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37At which city's airport were Parfitt, Rossi and Lancaster

0:09:37 > 0:09:40arrested in May '76 following an incident?

0:09:40 > 0:09:42It led to a night in prison.

0:09:42 > 0:09:43Er...

0:09:43 > 0:09:44Hamburg?

0:09:44 > 0:09:46Vienna. Which single gave Status Quo

0:09:46 > 0:09:49their first and so far only UK number one in January '75?

0:09:49 > 0:09:50Down Down.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52At which city's Apollo Theatre

0:09:52 > 0:09:54had the '77 double album Status Quo Live!

0:09:54 > 0:09:57been recorded the previous October?

0:09:57 > 0:09:58Glasgow.

0:09:58 > 0:09:59In which television soap opera

0:09:59 > 0:10:01did Francis Rossi and Rick Parfitt

0:10:01 > 0:10:05- appear as themselves for three episodes in 2005? - BEEP

0:10:05 > 0:10:06- Coronation Street.- Is correct.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08No passes, John.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10- You have 11 points.- Thank you.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14APPLAUSE

0:10:19 > 0:10:21Well, that's a high-scoring round.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23Let's have a look at all of the scores.

0:10:23 > 0:10:26In third place, with 5 points, Michael Obiora.

0:10:26 > 0:10:31Second place, 11 points apiece, are Steve Punt and John Hammond.

0:10:31 > 0:10:36In the lead, 12 points, Clemency Burton-Hill.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39APPLAUSE

0:10:40 > 0:10:42So it's the General Knowledge Round now

0:10:42 > 0:10:44and if there is a tie at the end of it,

0:10:44 > 0:10:46then the number of passes is taken into account

0:10:46 > 0:10:48and the person with the fewer passes is the winner.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51So let's get on with it and ask Michael to join us again,

0:10:51 > 0:10:52if he would.

0:10:52 > 0:10:56And, um, you started in acting very young.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58You were in Grange Hill at...nine, was it?

0:10:58 > 0:11:00- Yeah, that's right. Yeah. - What was it like?

0:11:00 > 0:11:03I mean, being a child on telly - going back to and people saying,

0:11:03 > 0:11:04"Ooh..." You know?

0:11:04 > 0:11:06Yeah, it was strange. It had pros and cons.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09It had its pros and cons, but I wouldn't change a thing.

0:11:09 > 0:11:10It was such a great experience.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13I see those five years I spent on Grange Hill

0:11:13 > 0:11:14as the best youth club in the world.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17- It's good fun.- And now you're in Casualty.- Yes, I am.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20Another great institution to be proud of, proud to be part of.

0:11:20 > 0:11:23You write - you write novels. At least, you've written A novel.

0:11:23 > 0:11:25I have written a novel, called Black Shoes, yeah.

0:11:25 > 0:11:26Yeah? Why?

0:11:26 > 0:11:28I've always been into books and stories.

0:11:28 > 0:11:32And, being an actor, I appreciate how important words are.

0:11:32 > 0:11:36And, just in between scenes, I started jotting down some ideas

0:11:36 > 0:11:38and, lo and behold, I had a novel.

0:11:38 > 0:11:42So you've got a choice, right - a few years' time -

0:11:42 > 0:11:45- between an Oscar for your acting... - Mm-hm.

0:11:45 > 0:11:47..or the Nobel Prize for your books.

0:11:47 > 0:11:51Ooh, it's tough, it's tough. I would say I'd always go for the Oscar.

0:11:51 > 0:11:53Acting is what I enjoy most.

0:11:53 > 0:11:54And to have, you know,

0:11:54 > 0:11:59your peers and hopefully people you respect acknowledge what you did,

0:11:59 > 0:12:01um...I think it would just be a lovely feeling.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04Right, let's see how you do with your General Knowledge Round.

0:12:04 > 0:12:05Two minutes, starting now.

0:12:05 > 0:12:08Which country issued its Declaration of Independence

0:12:08 > 0:12:09on the 4th of July 1776?

0:12:11 > 0:12:12Australia.

0:12:12 > 0:12:13- JOHN LAUGHS - America.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15The United States of America.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17Knackwurst, Bratwurst and Weisswurst

0:12:17 > 0:12:20are German varieties of what food?

0:12:20 > 0:12:21Sausages.

0:12:21 > 0:12:24What is the name of the Hong Kong-born actor and martial arts expert,

0:12:24 > 0:12:25who starred as Chief Inspector Lee

0:12:25 > 0:12:27in the Rush Hour series of films?

0:12:27 > 0:12:28Jackie Chan.

0:12:28 > 0:12:31Will.i.am is a judge on the television show The Voice

0:12:31 > 0:12:33and a member of which pop group?

0:12:33 > 0:12:34The Black Eyed Peas.

0:12:34 > 0:12:35What name is given to a straight line

0:12:35 > 0:12:38from one side of a circle to the other, passing through its centre?

0:12:38 > 0:12:40- Circumference.- Diameter.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43In September 2012, which British Formula One racing driver

0:12:43 > 0:12:45announced he was leaving McLaren

0:12:45 > 0:12:46to join Mercedes for the 2013 season?

0:12:46 > 0:12:48Lewis Hamilton.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Since 1937, Fort Knox in Kentucky has been home

0:12:51 > 0:12:53to America's reserves of what?

0:12:53 > 0:12:55- Oil.- Gold.

0:12:55 > 0:12:58Prince Andrew abseiled from the 87th floor

0:12:58 > 0:13:02of which new London landmark in 2012 to raise money for charity?

0:13:04 > 0:13:05- Nelson's Column.- The Shard.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08What completes the title of the West End comedy play,

0:13:08 > 0:13:09'No Sex, Please, We're.....'?

0:13:09 > 0:13:11Married. Oh!

0:13:11 > 0:13:13- British! - LAUGHTER

0:13:13 > 0:13:15- Who reprises...? - JOHN LAUGHS - Yours is funnier.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18Who reprises the role of Alfred, the faithful butler to Bruce Wayne,

0:13:18 > 0:13:20in The Dark Knight Rises?

0:13:20 > 0:13:21Michael Caine.

0:13:21 > 0:13:24What name is given to the tendons of the three long, spindle-shaped muscles

0:13:24 > 0:13:26on the back of the thigh?

0:13:26 > 0:13:28Footballers are often injured by pulling them.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30- Achilles.- Hamstrings.

0:13:30 > 0:13:33Which 2012 BBC drama series, set in England's first department store,

0:13:33 > 0:13:37is based on Emile Zola's Au Bonheur Des Dames?

0:13:37 > 0:13:39- Trollied.- The Paradise.

0:13:39 > 0:13:40The rapper Stephen Paul Manderson,

0:13:40 > 0:13:43who topped the charts with the single Read All About It,

0:13:43 > 0:13:45is better known by what name?

0:13:45 > 0:13:46Pass.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48At the 2012 Games, Nicola Adams from Leeds

0:13:48 > 0:13:52became the first woman to win an Olympic Gold medal in which sport?

0:13:52 > 0:13:53Boxing!

0:13:53 > 0:13:57What snack is made by heating the kernels of certain varieties of maize

0:13:57 > 0:13:59until they swell up and burst?

0:13:59 > 0:14:01- Marshmallows.- Popcorn.

0:14:01 > 0:14:02Who wrote the play Look Back In Anger?

0:14:02 > 0:14:05It premiered at the Royal Court in London in 1956

0:14:05 > 0:14:07- and made him the first of the so-called Angry Young Men? - BEEP

0:14:09 > 0:14:11- Pass. - Well, that was John Osborne.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13I can tell you that, cos you're out of time.

0:14:13 > 0:14:16And that rapper - Professor Green.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18- Don't like him. - Oh, well, there we are.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21Two passes, Michael, you've got a total of 11 points.

0:14:21 > 0:14:24APPLAUSE

0:14:30 > 0:14:33And now, Steve Punt again, please.

0:14:33 > 0:14:37And I described you in the introduction as "actor and comedian",

0:14:37 > 0:14:40- but maybe satirist would be better? - "Satirist"?

0:14:40 > 0:14:43- Ooh, that sounds posh, doesn't it? - It does, doesn't it?

0:14:43 > 0:14:45I've ended up doing a lot of topical comedy.

0:14:45 > 0:14:48Topical comedy isn't necessarily satirical.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50So it's about the news and about politics,

0:14:50 > 0:14:54but that doesn't necessarily mean it challenges very much

0:14:54 > 0:14:57and I think real satire should challenge people a bit,

0:14:57 > 0:14:58which it often doesn't.

0:14:58 > 0:15:00But if you listen to The Now Show,

0:15:00 > 0:15:05which obviously all intelligent people do, you do challenge, you...

0:15:05 > 0:15:10Well, challenge - you poke fun at institutions, individuals, ideas.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12Well, I think, er...

0:15:12 > 0:15:15We try to do the jokes upwards.

0:15:15 > 0:15:19- So... To institutions that are powerful...- Yes.

0:15:19 > 0:15:21Things that have control over people's lives -

0:15:21 > 0:15:24things that I think you're entitled to have an opinion about

0:15:24 > 0:15:27if you are a taxpayer and a voter,

0:15:27 > 0:15:29rather than directing the jokes downwards

0:15:29 > 0:15:32at people who can't really answer back.

0:15:32 > 0:15:34Quick thought - how often are you wrong about a joke?

0:15:34 > 0:15:37- I'm wrong about jokes all the time. - Really?

0:15:37 > 0:15:40Um, there are always jokes, every week, where everyone's going,

0:15:40 > 0:15:43"Mm, not sure about that," which are great.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46And then there are other jokes, everyone thinks,

0:15:46 > 0:15:48"Yeah! That's a certainty!" And it's...

0:15:48 > 0:15:49HE WHISTLES SOFTLY

0:15:49 > 0:15:52Really? So the brilliant thing about it is, you can never tell.

0:15:52 > 0:15:56- That's quite reassuring. - You can never tell, yeah.- Yeah.

0:15:56 > 0:15:57Right, Steve, you have 11 points.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00We're testing you on your general knowledge. Two minutes, here we go.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03The television series Bergerac was set on which island?

0:16:03 > 0:16:04Jersey.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07What was the name of the French currency before the introduction of the Euro?

0:16:07 > 0:16:08The franc.

0:16:08 > 0:16:11Which Royal broadcast was first made in 1932?

0:16:11 > 0:16:13it was written by Rudyard Kipling and began,

0:16:13 > 0:16:16"I speak now from my home and from my heart to you all"?

0:16:16 > 0:16:17The Christmas Message?

0:16:17 > 0:16:22The Imagine mosaic in New York's Central Park is a memorial to whom?

0:16:23 > 0:16:24Er, John Lennon.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27Who famously went on the pitch at half-time during a Norwich City game

0:16:27 > 0:16:30to encourage the crowd to give the home team more support,

0:16:30 > 0:16:32shouting, "Where are you? Let's be having you!"

0:16:32 > 0:16:33Delia Smith.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35Which gas, produced by digestion in cattle,

0:16:35 > 0:16:38is thought by many to be a significant factor in global warming?

0:16:38 > 0:16:39Methane.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42Major Dennis Bloodnok, Henry Crun and Minnie Banister

0:16:42 > 0:16:44were characters in which 1950s radio comedy series?

0:16:44 > 0:16:45The Goon Show.

0:16:45 > 0:16:48Who was Edwina Currie referring to when she wrote in her diary,

0:16:48 > 0:16:51"I wish my flat was filled with one big man in his blue underpants"?

0:16:51 > 0:16:53Ooh. Pass.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56In Greek mythology, the people of which city took in a wooden horse

0:16:56 > 0:16:58left for them by the besieging Greek army?

0:16:58 > 0:17:01- Troy. - Which rock star, who's said to have influenced

0:17:01 > 0:17:04Bradley Wiggins's style and dress sense, is known as The Modfather?

0:17:04 > 0:17:05Paul Weller.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07Before 1979 the capital of China, Beijing,

0:17:07 > 0:17:09was more familiarly known in English by what name?

0:17:09 > 0:17:11Peking.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13Whose marriage to the playwright Arthur Miller in 1956

0:17:13 > 0:17:15led to the headline "Egghead weds Hourglass"?

0:17:15 > 0:17:16Marilyn Monroe.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19What is the name of the collection of comedy shows,

0:17:19 > 0:17:20originally conceived by John Cleese,

0:17:20 > 0:17:23that have been raising funds for Amnesty International since the '70s?

0:17:23 > 0:17:25The Secret Policeman's Ball.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27Uggie the Jack Russell terrier is one of the stars

0:17:27 > 0:17:29of which award-winning silent film set in 1927?

0:17:29 > 0:17:31The Artist.

0:17:31 > 0:17:34What is measured in amperes or amps in relation to electricity?

0:17:34 > 0:17:35Er, current.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38Which American travel writer, who wrote several books

0:17:38 > 0:17:40while living in the Yorkshire Dales,

0:17:40 > 0:17:41was born in Des Moines, Iowa?

0:17:41 > 0:17:43Um, Bill Bryson?

0:17:43 > 0:17:45The founder of a company famous for making a particular condiment

0:17:45 > 0:17:47is said to have declared the amount left

0:17:47 > 0:17:49on the side of the plate made his fortune.

0:17:49 > 0:17:50What's the condiment?

0:17:50 > 0:17:53- Um...Lea & Perrins? - Mustard.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55What word for a list of matters to be discussed at a meeting

0:17:55 > 0:17:57comes from the Latin for "things to be done"?

0:17:57 > 0:17:59Agenda.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01- In 1875, Captain Matthew Webb became the first person... - BEEP

0:18:01 > 0:18:05..to swim across which stretch of water without a buoyancy aid?

0:18:05 > 0:18:07- The English Channel. - Is correct.

0:18:07 > 0:18:09You had one pass, and you will regret this, Steve,

0:18:09 > 0:18:14I have to tell you, partly because you make me say it again.

0:18:14 > 0:18:16And once was enough, really.

0:18:16 > 0:18:19Edwina Currie - "I wish my flat was filled with one big man

0:18:19 > 0:18:22"in his blue underpants" - was referring to John Major.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25- John Major. Ah!- Yeah.

0:18:25 > 0:18:26Eurgh!

0:18:26 > 0:18:28- Well, there you go - your fault! - LAUGHTER

0:18:28 > 0:18:32Anyway, anyway, anyway, allowing for that one pass, you got 28 points.

0:18:32 > 0:18:36APPLAUSE

0:18:42 > 0:18:44And now John Hammond again, please.

0:18:44 > 0:18:47And I'd like to talk to you about the weather, John,

0:18:47 > 0:18:51because obviously you're to blame for it, or your lot, clearly.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54BUT I have to talk to you about Status Quo.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56Of course.

0:18:56 > 0:18:58Yeah. Well, tell us why - I mean, you've met them.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01You went into the green room, you're a fan, you're nuts for them.

0:19:01 > 0:19:02Been a fan since I was 11, 12.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04- And you said... - I said, "I really love you."

0:19:04 > 0:19:07- "I want to play my guitar with you." - Exactly right.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09And instead of saying, "Clear off..."

0:19:09 > 0:19:12I meekly went back to my office and carried on doing the weather

0:19:12 > 0:19:15and then, the next day, the manager emailed me and said,

0:19:15 > 0:19:19"No, Francis would really love to play guitar with you. At Wembley."

0:19:19 > 0:19:22- It was the greatest moment of my life, John, honestly.- I bet!

0:19:22 > 0:19:24Did you actually stand on stage with Status Quo

0:19:24 > 0:19:25and play guitar at Wembley?

0:19:25 > 0:19:26I did.

0:19:26 > 0:19:30Not during the concert, folks, but during the sound check.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32- Well, there you go.- But to me it's the pinnacle of my life.

0:19:32 > 0:19:35Better than any weather forecast I ever do.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37As you say, we always get it wrong.

0:19:37 > 0:19:40- The trouble is, we only remember when you get it wrong.- Of course.

0:19:40 > 0:19:43Yeah, but what I don't like, John, is these people who,

0:19:43 > 0:19:46just before we're going to go on air, want a free forecast, asking,

0:19:46 > 0:19:48"Will there be any rain for my garden?"

0:19:48 > 0:19:49I'm looking at you, sir.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51- Do they really do that on the Today programme?- Yes, you do.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53LAUGHTER

0:19:53 > 0:19:57- And one other one - look, is the weather changing?- Yes. Seriously.

0:19:57 > 0:20:02I mean, the weather has changed in the last, let's say, 10 to 20 years.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05And it does tie in with the theory of climate change, global warming.

0:20:05 > 0:20:09But does that mean the UK's going to get warmer? Not necessarily.

0:20:09 > 0:20:10Wetter?

0:20:10 > 0:20:12Er, the theory at the moment is that we are likely to get

0:20:12 > 0:20:16a series of wetter summers, and quite possibly colder winters.

0:20:16 > 0:20:17So there you go, folks.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20- Well, thanks for cheering us up(!) - LAUGHTER

0:20:20 > 0:20:24- Right. 11 points. 28 is the score to beat now.- OK.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27Hm, that's a big ask, as they say. Here we go.

0:20:27 > 0:20:28Which Disney cartoon elephant

0:20:28 > 0:20:31was delivered to his mother on a circus train by a stork?

0:20:31 > 0:20:33Pass.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35What name is given to the strip of tarmac or other hard material

0:20:35 > 0:20:37from which aircraft take off or land at an airport?

0:20:37 > 0:20:40- Runway. - Who is the Patron Saint of Scotland?

0:20:40 > 0:20:41His feast day is the 30th of November.

0:20:41 > 0:20:42Saint Andrew.

0:20:42 > 0:20:45In which city does The G-Mex Exhibition Centre

0:20:45 > 0:20:47occupy the site of the former Central Railway Station?

0:20:47 > 0:20:51- Manchester. - In cheese-making, what name is given to the watery part

0:20:51 > 0:20:53of the coagulated milk after the removal of the curds?

0:20:53 > 0:20:54Er, rennet?

0:20:54 > 0:20:55Whey.

0:20:55 > 0:20:59Who was appointed as England's Test Cricket captain in August 2012?

0:20:59 > 0:21:01Alastair Cook.

0:21:01 > 0:21:03Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story

0:21:03 > 0:21:06is the autobiography of which actor turned politician?

0:21:06 > 0:21:07Arnold Schwarzenegger.

0:21:07 > 0:21:10What name for a series of interconnected rabbit burrows

0:21:10 > 0:21:13originally meant a plot of land where rabbits, hares and other game were bred?

0:21:13 > 0:21:14Warren.

0:21:14 > 0:21:18Whose 1972 album, Transformer, was co-produced by David Bowie

0:21:18 > 0:21:20and includes Walk on the Wild Side?

0:21:20 > 0:21:22Um... Lou Reed.

0:21:22 > 0:21:24Which great Asian mountain range has a name

0:21:24 > 0:21:27that is thought to come from the Sanskrit for "abode of snow"?

0:21:27 > 0:21:28Himalayas.

0:21:28 > 0:21:31In physics what term is used for a space completely empty of matter?

0:21:31 > 0:21:32Vacuum.

0:21:32 > 0:21:35When Roy Hodgson became the England football manager,

0:21:35 > 0:21:37he appointed a former Man United defender

0:21:37 > 0:21:40and current TV analyst to his coaching team. Who is he?

0:21:40 > 0:21:41Gary Neville.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43Which adviser to Lord Sugar on The Apprentice

0:21:43 > 0:21:47took over from Jeff Stelling as the presenter of Countdown in January 2012?

0:21:47 > 0:21:48Pass.

0:21:48 > 0:21:51Which country did Germany invade on the 1st of September 1939?

0:21:51 > 0:21:53It led to Britain and France declaring war.

0:21:53 > 0:21:54Poland.

0:21:54 > 0:21:56Which punk rocker from the Sex Pistols

0:21:56 > 0:21:59was played by Gary Oldman in a film about his life and early death?

0:21:59 > 0:22:00Sid Vicious.

0:22:00 > 0:22:03What is the first of the series of books by Arthur Ransome

0:22:03 > 0:22:05featuring the adventures of the Walker and Blackett children?

0:22:05 > 0:22:08- Pass. - Which Italian-style village in North Wales,

0:22:08 > 0:22:10created by the architect Sir Clough Williams-Ellis,

0:22:10 > 0:22:14provided the setting for the '60s television series The Prisoner?

0:22:16 > 0:22:18P-P-P-P-Pass.

0:22:18 > 0:22:20Fry, parr, smolt and grilse

0:22:20 > 0:22:23are successive stages in the development of which fish?

0:22:24 > 0:22:25Pass.

0:22:25 > 0:22:29Which inert or noble gas takes its name from the Greek for "hidden"?

0:22:29 > 0:22:30BEEP

0:22:30 > 0:22:33N-N-N-N-N-Nitrogen?

0:22:33 > 0:22:35Krypton.

0:22:35 > 0:22:36I thought it was only Superman who...

0:22:36 > 0:22:38Anyway, there we are - Krypton.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41And your passes - fry, parr, smolt and all that

0:22:41 > 0:22:43are stages in the development of salmon.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46- Portmeirion.- Yeah! - Yeah, when you were saying, "P-P..."

0:22:46 > 0:22:48I thought you were going to say it and you said, "Pass."

0:22:48 > 0:22:52Swallows And Amazons was Arthur Ransome. Yes.

0:22:52 > 0:22:55Nick Hewer was the adviser to Alan Sugar.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57And Dumbo?

0:22:57 > 0:22:58I know.

0:22:58 > 0:23:01I know. That's it, you see - it's the black chair, I tell you.

0:23:01 > 0:23:04Anyway, you did very well. Not quite well enough - 23 points.

0:23:04 > 0:23:05Thank you.

0:23:05 > 0:23:09APPLAUSE

0:23:12 > 0:23:16And finally, Clemency again, please.

0:23:16 > 0:23:19I'm not quite sure how to, um... describe you.

0:23:19 > 0:23:22I mean, you're a violinist, a musician, a presenter.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25I mean, you do all sorts of stuff. And you seem to be rather good at all of it.

0:23:25 > 0:23:29What made you want to play the violin so badly when you were little?

0:23:29 > 0:23:32Normally, it's the parents saying to the child, "You must play the violin!"

0:23:32 > 0:23:35Such a weirdo. I mean, such a little freak.

0:23:35 > 0:23:37Clearly, my mum was like, "What does this mean?"

0:23:37 > 0:23:39Cos she, by her own admission, is tone deaf.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42My two older half-brothers, who I grew up with,

0:23:42 > 0:23:45neither of them either learnt an instrument, so who knows what it was?

0:23:45 > 0:23:47It was a great mystery.

0:23:47 > 0:23:49And you did the Suzuki Method?

0:23:49 > 0:23:53Yeah, I was incredibly lucky - my mum heard about this organisation

0:23:53 > 0:23:56and had rung, you know, endless motorcycle dealerships

0:23:56 > 0:23:59and then she was about to give up and say, "Right, that's it."

0:23:59 > 0:24:01Hang on, she rang endless motorcycle...?

0:24:01 > 0:24:03Someone said, "There's this thing called Suzuki,"

0:24:03 > 0:24:05she looked it up in the phone book -

0:24:05 > 0:24:08endless motorcycle dealerships, she was thinking, "This is clearly a run to nothing."

0:24:08 > 0:24:11And then got through to this absolutely magical woman

0:24:11 > 0:24:14called Helen Brunner, who really, totally changed my life.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16And Helen's philosophy is just that, you know,

0:24:16 > 0:24:19you learn when you're very young cos it's like a language

0:24:19 > 0:24:20and music is like a language.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22And if you learn it when you're little

0:24:22 > 0:24:24and you're learning how to speak and communicate,

0:24:24 > 0:24:27then music will be part of your life, all your life.

0:24:27 > 0:24:29And did you ever see yourself as the...

0:24:29 > 0:24:33- you know, the great soloist on the, er...?- Oh, goodness, no.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36No, no. And I always was interested in other things.

0:24:36 > 0:24:37There you go.

0:24:37 > 0:24:40Now, you won the first round - you got 12 points.

0:24:40 > 0:24:42- Now, you've got to do rather well. - It's all downhill from now!

0:24:42 > 0:24:45- 28 still the score to beat.- I know! - A big score.- Unbelievably.

0:24:45 > 0:24:47Let's see if you can do it. Here we go.

0:24:47 > 0:24:49Mayfair and Park Lane are the most expensive properties

0:24:49 > 0:24:51in the standard British version of which game?

0:24:51 > 0:24:53- Monopoly. - In which Italian city

0:24:53 > 0:24:56is Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet principally set?

0:24:56 > 0:24:57Verona.

0:24:57 > 0:24:59Whom did Barack Obama beat in November 2012

0:24:59 > 0:25:01to win a second term as the American president?

0:25:01 > 0:25:02Mitt Romney.

0:25:02 > 0:25:05With which boy band did Justin Timberlake begin his career

0:25:05 > 0:25:07before going solo in 2002?

0:25:07 > 0:25:08'N Sync.

0:25:08 > 0:25:09According to her poem,

0:25:09 > 0:25:11what does the children's writer Rose Fyleman

0:25:11 > 0:25:12have at the bottom of her garden?

0:25:15 > 0:25:16Don't know.

0:25:16 > 0:25:17Tom Cruise and John Travolta

0:25:17 > 0:25:20are among the famous members of which controversial movement?

0:25:20 > 0:25:22- Scientology. - In the Tour de France,

0:25:22 > 0:25:25what colour jersey is awarded to the overall leader of the race?

0:25:25 > 0:25:26Yellow.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28Which composer's five Oscars include the film scores

0:25:28 > 0:25:31for Born Free, Dances With Wolves and Out of Africa?

0:25:31 > 0:25:34He also wrote the title songs for several Bond Films.

0:25:34 > 0:25:35Er, John Barry.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38What name was given to the dress designed by Coco Chanel

0:25:38 > 0:25:42and launched in 1926 that became a staple in women's fashion?

0:25:42 > 0:25:43Don't know.

0:25:43 > 0:25:46In which television comedy series, written by Richard Curtis,

0:25:46 > 0:25:49do the parishioners worship at St Barnabas's Church?

0:25:49 > 0:25:50- Rev.- The Vicar Of Dibley.

0:25:50 > 0:25:52The so-called "Mud Pie" dessert,

0:25:52 > 0:25:54made principally with chocolate,

0:25:54 > 0:25:55is named after which river?

0:25:55 > 0:25:56Mississippi.

0:25:56 > 0:25:59In what parliamentary role did John Bercow

0:25:59 > 0:26:00succeed Michael Martin in 2009?

0:26:00 > 0:26:01Speaker of the House of Commons.

0:26:01 > 0:26:04Which capital city is the largest in Africa,

0:26:04 > 0:26:06with an estimated urban population of ten million?

0:26:07 > 0:26:09- Nairobi?- Cairo.

0:26:09 > 0:26:12In which opera by Puccini does the Japanese heroine

0:26:12 > 0:26:13marry Lieutenant Pinkerton?

0:26:13 > 0:26:15Madam Butterfly.

0:26:15 > 0:26:18What name is given to wallpaper that has a raised velvety pattern

0:26:18 > 0:26:20produced by applying fibres of wool?

0:26:22 > 0:26:23Don't know.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26Michael Gambon, Kristin Scott Thomas, Maggie Smith and Helen Mirren

0:26:26 > 0:26:29are among the cast members of which 2001 murder mystery film

0:26:29 > 0:26:32set in an English country house in 1932?

0:26:33 > 0:26:34Pass.

0:26:34 > 0:26:37Which rock star married the model Jerry Hall

0:26:37 > 0:26:39and had children called Elizabeth, James, Georgia and Gabriel?

0:26:39 > 0:26:40Mick Jagger.

0:26:40 > 0:26:42Which tragic heroine, created by Tolstoy,

0:26:42 > 0:26:45is played in a 2012 film by Keira Knightley?

0:26:45 > 0:26:46Anna Karenina.

0:26:46 > 0:26:49The theatre awards for the best plays and musicals on Broadway,

0:26:49 > 0:26:52instituted in 1947, are known by what name?

0:26:52 > 0:26:55- The Tonys.- The Tonys. That is correct.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58You had four passes - Gosford Park, as you now know,

0:26:58 > 0:27:01was the name of that film with Michael Gambon, et cetera.

0:27:01 > 0:27:02Flock is the name of the wallpaper.

0:27:02 > 0:27:06Little black Dress, the LBD.

0:27:06 > 0:27:11And at the bottom of Rose Fyleman's garden were fairies.

0:27:11 > 0:27:13Of course.

0:27:13 > 0:27:16Didn't quite make it, Clemency - 25 points.

0:27:16 > 0:27:19APPLAUSE

0:27:26 > 0:27:29Well, he held on to that lead. Let's have a look at all of the scores.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32In fourth place, 11 points, Michael Obiora.

0:27:32 > 0:27:35Third place, 23 points, John Hammond.

0:27:35 > 0:27:38Second place, 25 points, Clemency Burton-Hill.

0:27:38 > 0:27:41First place, 28 points, Steve Punt.

0:27:41 > 0:27:44APPLAUSE

0:27:58 > 0:28:01Steve, come and get it.

0:28:03 > 0:28:06- Congratulations.- I am...honoured.

0:28:06 > 0:28:08- There we are.- Thank you very much.

0:28:08 > 0:28:11Means you'll never be able to poke fun at Mastermind on The Now Show, doesn't it?

0:28:11 > 0:28:13It's true, actually. Yes, that is true.

0:28:13 > 0:28:16- Exactly. Well, well done. - Thank you.

0:28:16 > 0:28:18And thank you all for watching.

0:28:18 > 0:28:21And do join us again for more Celebrity Masterminds.

0:28:21 > 0:28:22Goodnight.

0:28:22 > 0:28:24- Steve.- Thank you very much.

0:28:24 > 0:28:26APPLAUSE

0:28:26 > 0:28:28You don't have to be a celebrity to take part

0:28:28 > 0:28:30in the regular Mastermind programme.

0:28:30 > 0:28:33So if you'd like to appear in the next series of Mastermind

0:28:33 > 0:28:38on BBC Two, then do visit us online at bbc.co.uk/mastermind.

0:28:41 > 0:28:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd