0:00:00 > 0:00:00- Subtitles
0:00:00 > 0:00:02- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- May God keep you safe.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44- May God also keep you safe.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53- It's a big day tomorrow.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56- For the three of us.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10- Hello, this is Gwyn John - from Jones the Box.
0:01:11 > 0:01:16- Can I confirm the details of Heather - and Mark Evans's funeral tomorrow?
0:01:16 > 0:01:19- At eleven o'clock. Yes, that's fine.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21- Yes - busy day.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23- Yes, it'll be strange.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27- But there we are, - we must all go eventually.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31- Yes. I'll see you - around a quarter to eleven.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33- Right. Bye.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50- Hello, Jac.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52- A pint and a chaser, please.
0:02:03 > 0:02:04- Am I in it?
0:02:06 > 0:02:09- I always told my family - that I didn't want a fuss.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11- I bet they made a splash.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- A melodramatic double-page spread.
0:02:14 > 0:02:15- Well, we did go out with a bang.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17- Well, we did go out with a bang.- - It was an accident.
0:02:17 > 0:02:18- It kept fusing. I told you.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21- It kept fusing. I told you.- - It could have happened to anyone.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24- You should have paid an electrician.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27- You should have paid an electrician.- - Did Last Gasp win the 3.10 at Ascot?
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- I've got it in a double.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32- Typical! You and your gambling.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33- Typical! You and your gambling.- - Thank you.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36- Did you order crisps or nuts - with your drink?
0:03:00 > 0:03:03- Gwyn, you really must cut down - on the drinking.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10- KNOCKING
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- MUSIC
0:03:19 > 0:03:20- This is the one!
0:03:20 > 0:03:22- Oh!
0:03:35 > 0:03:38- Hey! Great news.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41- Last Gasp won the 3.10 at Ascot.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45- If Kick The Bucket wins tomorrow, - I'll win 150.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49- I'll go halves with you - if you'll collect my winnings.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52- What's going on here?
0:03:53 > 0:03:55- Who are you? Tell me the truth.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- Who are you? Tell me the truth.- - Cool down! Don't be so uptight.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01- Who are you? - I want to know right now!
0:04:01 > 0:04:03- You know who we are.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- You filled in the forms - with our details on them.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08- You have neat handwriting.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- What are you doing here?
0:04:10 > 0:04:12- What are you doing here?- - Isn't it obvious? We're dead.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17- How did you get in? - I've got an alarm, and a fence.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21- Read these, if you don't believe us.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- I'm Heather Evans, 59 years old.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29- Date of birth, 3 January 1956. - Nine stone two pounds.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32- And I'm Mark Evans, 64 years old.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36- Date of birth, 26 February 1951.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38- But no way am I 14 stone!
0:04:39 > 0:04:40- How do you do?
0:04:42 > 0:04:43- You can talk!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46- Yes, but she talks more than me.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- Always has, since the day we met.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- Always has, since the day we met.- - But I don't play with electrics.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53- You can't talk and be dead.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55- Why not?
0:04:55 > 0:04:56- Why not?- - Why not? Why not?
0:04:57 > 0:05:00- You have a tendency - to repeat questions.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01- It's a bad sign.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04- Shut up!
0:05:04 > 0:05:06- Shut up!- - There's no need to shout.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- If you came here to steal, - you're wasting your time.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12- There's nothing here.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- There's nothing here.- - We're not here to cause trouble.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17- How long - have you been an undertaker?
0:05:18 > 0:05:19- For 20 years.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22- You've never talked to dead people?
0:05:22 > 0:05:24- You've never talked to dead people?- - No. Never.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- You told me - about your fat neighbour...
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- ..who plays John Ac Alun songs - all the time.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34- Then you moaned about insects - eating your geraniums.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38- Yes, well, I may talk - to some dead people sometimes.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43- There you go then. - What's the problem?
0:05:43 > 0:05:47- It's one thing for me - to talk to them... you... them.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50- You're not meant to answer me!
0:05:50 > 0:05:55- Typical man! You expect us to listen - to you, but you moan when we talk.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59- I don't know who you are - and I don't want to know either.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01- I want you to leave right now.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03- I want you to leave right now.- - Hey! Hold on.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12- One question and we'll leave.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16- Why do you talk to dead people - every now and then?
0:06:18 > 0:06:20- It's something everyone does.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25- Mechanics talk to cars, - gardeners talk to plants...
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- ..and I talk to corpses.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33- So it's got nothing to do - with the fact you're lonely.
0:06:35 > 0:06:36- No.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38- I'm not lonely.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43- You've asked your question. - Go back to wherever you came from.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44- I thought - you wanted nothing to do with us.
0:07:44 > 0:07:45- Stop it!
0:07:45 > 0:07:47- Ignore him.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49- How do you feel?
0:07:49 > 0:07:50- How do you feel?- - I've been better.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53- He suggested we were thieves.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- Yes. Sorry about that.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58- I'm a lot of things, - but I'm definitely not a thief.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01- You've made your point. - Nobody's perfect.
0:08:02 > 0:08:03- Two words.
0:08:03 > 0:08:04- Electrics and conservatory.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08- Exactly! Now, shut up!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12- What can I do for you?
0:08:12 > 0:08:14- Please tell me what's going on.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23- We want to ask you a favour.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28- Would you mind not burying us?
0:08:29 > 0:08:31- LAUGH
0:08:31 > 0:08:33- What's so funny?
0:08:33 > 0:08:38- I'm talking to two dead bodies - who don't want me to bury them...
0:08:38 > 0:08:39- ..and you ask me what's funny?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41- ..and you ask me what's funny?- - I know it's a lot to ask.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45- I promise you can bury us - at some point, but not now.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46- Why?
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- Why?- - We have things to do in this world.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- I'm not 65 yet. - I've got years ahead of me.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- Not really. You're dead!
0:08:55 > 0:09:00- Sorry, I didn't mean to sound - heartless, but that's the truth.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02- People live to be over 100 nowadays.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- People live to be over 100 nowadays.- - Yes, but you're not one of them.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08- That's life. Nobody can control it.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12- I'll take that as a no then.
0:09:12 > 0:09:13- Yes.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15- Yes.- - Please reconsider.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17- It would only be temporary.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- It would only be temporary.- - I can't.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21- Why not?
0:09:21 > 0:09:23- Why not?- - I have to bury you tomorrow.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26- It's my last chance. I'm selling up.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27- It's my last chance. I'm selling up.- - Take it off the market.
0:09:27 > 0:09:28- I can't.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32- I've got a prospective buyer - calling any minute.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34- DOORBELL
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- I can't help you. I'm selling up.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39- After five o'clock tomorrow...
0:09:39 > 0:09:42- ..I won't have a licence - to bury anyone.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45- I've got to go. See you.
0:09:52 > 0:09:52- .
0:09:57 > 0:09:57- Subtitles
0:09:57 > 0:09:59- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:10:02 > 0:10:04- Come in. Take a seat.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07- Would you like a tea or a coffee?
0:10:07 > 0:10:09- No, thank you.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12- Sorry about the mess.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16- The cleaning lady's gone on holiday.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18- The cleaning lady's gone on holiday.- - Very nice. Where?
0:10:20 > 0:10:21- Where?
0:10:22 > 0:10:23- To...
0:10:23 > 0:10:24- To...
0:10:24 > 0:10:25- To...- - Well? Answer him!
0:10:26 > 0:10:28- To...
0:10:29 > 0:10:31- ..Indonesia.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33- Yes - to Indonesia.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35- Wow! Different.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- Now then, where were we?
0:10:49 > 0:10:51- The company history.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54- It was established - over 80 years ago.
0:10:54 > 0:10:59- My late wife and I - bought the company 15 years ago.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- I did a five-year apprenticeship - prior to that.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06- It's always been a happy company.
0:11:06 > 0:11:11- When I say happy, I don't mean - we're happy to bury people.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13- A funeral is a sad occasion.
0:11:15 > 0:11:20- I've always felt we give people - dignity during difficult times.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22- Sad times.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28- Do you have any questions?
0:11:28 > 0:11:30- Do you have fleas here?
0:11:30 > 0:11:31- Do you have fleas here?- - No.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33- I don't think we have fleas.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37- But not every dead body - is in perfect condition.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38- Hey!
0:11:38 > 0:11:40- Hey!- - What about the accounts?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42- Can I take a look at the books?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44- Can I take a look at the books?- - Yes, of course.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48- I'm a firm believer - in being organized.
0:11:50 > 0:11:51- Problem?
0:11:54 > 0:11:57- I've just remembered something.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00- The latest figures - are with my accountant.
0:12:01 > 0:12:06- I can show you the figures for the - last quarter on these spreadsheets.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10- They're on my computer.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15- Are you alright?
0:12:15 > 0:12:16- Are you alright?- - Yes.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19- But the computer isn't working.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22- Power cut.
0:12:22 > 0:12:23- Power cut.- - Power cut?
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- Yes. Come through to the workshop.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34- We renovated it five years ago.
0:12:43 > 0:12:48- After those big storms, we put - a new slate roof on the building.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- There's a two-inch layer - of insulation in the walls.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55- This place is like an oven, - even in winter.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00- We can come to some arrangement - about the furniture.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- Some of it - has been here since the start.
0:13:03 > 0:13:08- Was it these two who died - in the conservatory explosion?
0:13:08 > 0:13:09- Yes.
0:13:10 > 0:13:11- How's their dog?
0:13:11 > 0:13:13- How's their dog?- - Still in shock.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15- Poor dab.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19- Yes, but it's stopped shaking now, - apparently.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22- That's good news.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28- Did you know them?
0:13:29 > 0:13:32- No, but everyone says - they were really lovely people.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38- A new roof?
0:13:39 > 0:13:40- There must be...
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- Thank you for your time, - but I'm not interested.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- Wait! You don't understand.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49- I can explain.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51- DOOR CLOSES
0:13:53 > 0:13:54- Heather! Mark!
0:13:59 > 0:14:00- What do you think you're doing?
0:14:00 > 0:14:03- What do you think you're doing?- - That man had dirty ears.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07- If he can't care for his ears, - he can't care for a business.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09- I hate to say this, but she's right.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11- I hate to say this, but she's right.- - I'm always right.
0:14:11 > 0:14:12- I wouldn't go that far.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14- I wouldn't go that far.- - I would.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- You scared that man on purpose.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19- You scared that man on purpose.- - I wouldn't trust him to bury my dog.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23- Listen, Mark and I - have been talking.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28- We can't ask you to do such a thing - without giving anything in return.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- So, why don't we help you - run the business?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35- We'll have a six-month trial period.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37- We'll have a six-month trial period.- - You helping me?
0:14:38 > 0:14:39- It's better than lying in a hole.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41- It's better than lying in a hole.- - And I'm claustrophobic.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46- You sent him packing so that you - can get your hands on this place?
0:14:47 > 0:14:48- How selfish can you be?
0:14:49 > 0:14:50- We were thinking of you too.
0:14:51 > 0:14:56- You're far too young to retire. - What will you do with your time?
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- There are lots of things - I want to do.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00- Lots of things.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02- Travelling?
0:15:02 > 0:15:05- In-In-Indonesia is very popular!
0:15:05 > 0:15:06- In-In-Indonesia is very popular!- - Yes, I may travel.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10- And I want to spend more time - in the garden.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13- Your geraniums died in a week.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14- Cooking then.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18- I'd like to learn - how to bake a banana cake.
0:15:18 > 0:15:19- Banana cake?
0:15:19 > 0:15:21- Banana cake?- - I'm not sure what I'll do yet.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24- But I'll enjoy doing nothing - for a while.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26- Listen.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- You'll be bored in a week.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33- Things aren't the same any more.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- Things aren't the same any more.- - No, but people are still dying.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40- Yes, but small businesses - don't stand a chance these days.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44- We can help you - take a fresh look at things.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47- You know nothing about funerals.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50- You know nothing about funerals.- - No, so we'll have some fresh ideas.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54- Coffin Of The Month. - Buy one plot, get one free.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58- I'm running a service, - not a supermarket.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00- A supernatural market!
0:16:00 > 0:16:02- It'll be perfect.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06- We'll rebrand the company - and create a new logo.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09- Three heads are better than one.
0:16:09 > 0:16:10- Three heads are better than one.- - Two of those are dead!
0:16:11 > 0:16:13- It's just a six-month trial.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18- If you're not happy with things, - you can bury us...
0:16:18 > 0:16:20- ..without a single complaint.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22- Well?
0:16:32 > 0:16:35- Are you responsible for these two?
0:16:35 > 0:16:39- I always said - you had a strange sense of humour.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42- What do you want me to do, Gwen?
0:17:03 > 0:17:05- ALARM
0:17:51 > 0:17:52- What the...?
0:17:52 > 0:17:54- What the...?- - Good morning to you too!
0:17:54 > 0:17:56- We need an answer.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00- I never make any decisions - until I've had coffee and toast.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- That marmalade is two months - past its sell-by date.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06- It tastes better that way.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09- Muesli or porridge - would be healthier.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11- What is he? A bear?
0:18:11 > 0:18:15- I'll do what I want in my own house.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17- Are you always this jolly?
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- Only when I find two corpses - in my cupboard.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25- If this partnership's - going to work...
0:18:25 > 0:18:26- I haven't agreed to anything.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28- I haven't agreed to anything.- - But you've got to!
0:18:29 > 0:18:32- Why are you so determined - not to be buried?
0:18:33 > 0:18:35- It comes to us all in the end.
0:18:35 > 0:18:36- It comes to us all in the end.- - I know.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40- We're frightened.
0:18:43 > 0:18:44- Just like you.
0:18:46 > 0:18:47- Nonsense.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53- I'm going to have a shower.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57- That's that. - We may as well eat something.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01- That marmalade's mouldy.
0:19:01 > 0:19:06- We're being buried in three hours, - so who cares about fluffy marmalade?
0:19:17 > 0:19:20- I know that Mark isn't perfect...
0:19:21 > 0:19:24- ..but he feels guilty - about the explosion...
0:19:24 > 0:19:27- ..and he deserves a second chance.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30- That may be true, - but it's not my job to play God.
0:19:31 > 0:19:36- It's my job to help your family - say goodbye to you properly.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- Do you want me to con them?
0:19:39 > 0:19:40- They won't be any the wiser.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42- They won't be any the wiser.- - No, but I will.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45- You're an honest man, Gwyn...
0:19:45 > 0:19:49- ..but sometimes you have to listen - to your heart and break the rules.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54- Stop this sentimental rubbish. - It has no effect on me.
0:19:55 > 0:20:00- Gwyn, if you're not careful, - you'll find the horse has bolted.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22- Wil Evans put 75p in the collection - and he's filthy rich.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24- What a swine.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26- Thank you. I know it wasn't easy.
0:21:26 > 0:21:27- Thank you. I know it wasn't easy.- - No, it wasn't easy.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29- You won't regret it.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33- 75p is an insult - and we should teach him a lesson.
0:21:33 > 0:21:37- No, Mark. - That's not why we stayed here.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40- No, I know.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42- But 75p? What a cheek!
0:21:42 > 0:21:44- But 75p? What a cheek!- - Hush!
0:21:45 > 0:21:47- Gwyn! Turn on Radio 5 Live.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52- "The winner was Kick The Bucket."
0:21:52 > 0:21:54- "The winner was Kick The Bucket."- - Yes! That's 150!
0:21:54 > 0:21:55- I'm a genius with these horses.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58- I'm a genius with these horses.- - Remember we're going halves.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- It's going in the business account.
0:22:01 > 0:22:02- It's going in the business account.- - But I won it.
0:22:02 > 0:22:03- You and your gambling.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06- You and your gambling.- - It's a bit of fun. It does no harm.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09- Hey! Stop this bickering.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13- We're partners now, - so I can bicker if I like.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15- I'm the brains, so I'm the boss.
0:22:15 > 0:22:16- I'm the brains, so I'm the boss.- - I'm the oldest.
0:22:16 > 0:22:21- Yes, but I'm the only one - who's still alive, so I'm the boss.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23- Do you know what?
0:22:23 > 0:22:27- I think the next six months - are going to be fun!
0:22:28 > 0:22:29- # That's the way to live
0:22:30 > 0:22:32- # That's the way to live #
0:22:54 > 0:22:56- S4C subtitles by Eirlys A Jones
0:22:56 > 0:22:56- .