Episode 6

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0:00:13 > 0:00:15Hello, I'm Robert Webb.

0:00:15 > 0:00:18Welcome to Great TV Mistakes.

0:00:18 > 0:00:22Over the next half hour, we'll be revealing the worst howlers ever broadcast.

0:00:22 > 0:00:26Mistakes my crack team of square-eyed OCD numpties

0:00:26 > 0:00:30refuse to rest until they have managed to show you the foul-ups

0:00:30 > 0:00:31they didn't want you to see.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34"They" meaning them, not you.

0:00:35 > 0:00:37Coming up - mistakes from:

0:00:44 > 0:00:45..and many, many more!

0:00:45 > 0:00:48SOUND problems are very common in television,

0:00:48 > 0:00:52partly because it would be impossible to control all the sounds around us

0:00:52 > 0:00:57and partly because most sound men are tone-deaf alcoholics whose only hope of noticing a pin drop

0:00:57 > 0:01:02is if you pull it out of a live grenade in front of them and throw it in their stupid faces.

0:01:02 > 0:01:06We in telly call the process of replacing sounds "dubbing" or "ADR",

0:01:06 > 0:01:09which stands for automatic dialogue replacement.

0:01:09 > 0:01:14Mind you, looking at these next clips, you'd think it stood for awful dialogue replacement!

0:01:14 > 0:01:16HE GUFFAWS EXAGGERATEDLY

0:01:21 > 0:01:24It's Dr Izzie Stevens in Grey's Anatomy,

0:01:24 > 0:01:28who can say "ooh" without moving her lips. No really, she can.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30- Look.- Oh, ooh!

0:01:30 > 0:01:33Oh, I like that. Again?

0:01:33 > 0:01:37- Ooh!- Oh, go on then. Once more!

0:01:37 > 0:01:38- Ooh!- Ooh!

0:01:38 > 0:01:43- Are you allowed to eat a cupcake in a sterile environment? - Are you still working with Meredith?

0:01:45 > 0:01:49Ah, yes. Meredith, AKA Dr Grey herself.

0:01:49 > 0:01:51But don't stand on ceremony, she hates that.

0:01:51 > 0:01:53Dr Grey.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55- Meredith.- Meredith.

0:01:55 > 0:01:57We heard it, but we didn't see it.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00That man did not say "Meredith".

0:02:00 > 0:02:03- Or did he?- Meredith.- No, he did not.

0:02:03 > 0:02:05At least not at the time.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08Maybe he hates the name Meredith and refused to say it.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11"Ah," they thought, "We'll just stick that on later in the edit."

0:02:11 > 0:02:12And they did. Badly.

0:02:12 > 0:02:16- Because I stayed in the OR to save a life.- Meredith.

0:02:18 > 0:02:21- Very good.- What have you got there?

0:02:21 > 0:02:23Pride and Prejudice, and keep your eyes and ears

0:02:23 > 0:02:25on that fine actress Alison Steadman.

0:02:25 > 0:02:29There she is, famous for her performance in Abigail's Party

0:02:29 > 0:02:32and loads of other parts that have been quite similar.

0:02:32 > 0:02:37But hark, only an actress with Alison's vocal skills could say different words than her own mouth.

0:02:37 > 0:02:41Lord knows I have no desire to be always going here and there at night.

0:02:41 > 0:02:46Oi, Steadman! Your mouth's writing cheques your voice can't cash! That doesn't make any sense.

0:02:46 > 0:02:49I have no desire to be always going here and there at night.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51But neither does poor-quality dubbing.

0:02:53 > 0:02:56# For Jesus Christ our saviour... #

0:02:56 > 0:02:59More Pride and Prejudice, and Mary's depressing everyone

0:02:59 > 0:03:03with her piano playing like some 19th-century Dido.

0:03:03 > 0:03:08But look, there in the back of shot, Maria's singing without moving her lips.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10- Maybe she's singing out of her... - HE WHISTLES

0:03:10 > 0:03:15- Now, you might call that a mistake but I call it some of the finest... - HE WHISTLES

0:03:15 > 0:03:17..singing I've ever heard.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22Everyone, I just wanted to say it really means a lot to me

0:03:22 > 0:03:26- that all of you came.- In this episode of Desperate Housewives,

0:03:26 > 0:03:29Carlos is giving a speech to friends about leaving to go to jail.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33But when they cut to a shot of Susan and Julie listening,

0:03:33 > 0:03:37we see Carlos isn't talking despite the fact we can still hear him.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40And when a man goes away to jail...

0:03:40 > 0:03:42- Now, he hasn't got a... - HE WHISTLES

0:03:42 > 0:03:46- ..so maybe he's talking out of his "ah-huh-huh". In which case, respect.- So, thanks.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51I wondered what it'd be like to be a dude,

0:03:51 > 0:03:54walking through the halls in jeans and a ratty T-shirt...

0:03:54 > 0:03:58It's One Tree Hill, another one of those American shows full of cute people

0:03:58 > 0:04:02who've got everything they need. Except a good slap in the face!

0:04:02 > 0:04:04Maybe I'm into girls.

0:04:04 > 0:04:05SILENCE

0:04:05 > 0:04:08Whoa! Rachel just said that last line twice. No, really. Look.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11Maybe I'm into girls.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13- MIMICS:- Maybe I'm into girls.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15I think it's time for that slap in the face.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Just give me a straight yes or no.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21Why should I give you...

0:04:21 > 0:04:24It's Only Fools and would you Adam and Eve it,

0:04:24 > 0:04:26Del Boy is about to put his plates of meat

0:04:26 > 0:04:32right in it and say something a bit apples and bassist, or whatever racist is in Cockney.

0:04:32 > 0:04:37What are the odds on you picking the only genuine weight watcher in London?

0:04:37 > 0:04:41Del's original line was "the only Provo weight watcher in London".

0:04:41 > 0:04:45- By the time the show aired, "Provo" had been overdubbed with the word...- Genuine...

0:04:45 > 0:04:49..which wouldn't be offensive to the people of Ireland or the IRA.

0:04:49 > 0:04:53Believe me, it doesn't take much to get THEM writing in to Points Of View.

0:04:55 > 0:05:01At the top of the show, what you might call "the beginning", we saw a clip montage,

0:05:01 > 0:05:03what you might call a "collection",

0:05:03 > 0:05:06in which the camera crew accidentally found themselves in shot.

0:05:06 > 0:05:09What you might call "shocking unprofessionalism".

0:05:09 > 0:05:14Not all such unscheduled on-screen appearances are easy to spot.

0:05:14 > 0:05:19Shop windows, car doors, and poorly-placed mirrors are all catnip to the careless cameraman.

0:05:19 > 0:05:23Yes, nothing has the power to confuse and confound

0:05:23 > 0:05:26these highly-trained industry professionals

0:05:26 > 0:05:28like a reflection, or their own shadows!

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Which don't do that.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34You know what Eurisko means?

0:05:34 > 0:05:35Back on those X Files,

0:05:35 > 0:05:39Dave and Gill are about to be shown a mysterious video tape,

0:05:39 > 0:05:42which is what people in the past had instead of DVDs.

0:05:42 > 0:05:46It was like a roll of black ribbon in a box. Trust me, it was rubbish.

0:05:46 > 0:05:49Anyway, look what happens before it starts to play.

0:05:49 > 0:05:52Oh dear, once more, the mysterious effect

0:05:52 > 0:05:54of what some people call "a reflection"

0:05:54 > 0:05:56catches out another entire telly crew.

0:05:56 > 0:05:59- Let me show you something. - We've seen enough, thank you.

0:06:01 > 0:06:0480s classic Knight Rider will always be remembered

0:06:04 > 0:06:07less for its high production standards

0:06:07 > 0:06:09and more for being a pile of arse.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12How's that for a shadow? Not the best shot in the series, but if you

0:06:12 > 0:06:16look carefully, you can see one of the soundmen doing a shadow puppet

0:06:16 > 0:06:18of a crocodile eating a sausage.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20So not a complete disaster.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25- No, but can you?- Two Pints Of Lager.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Here's Gaz and Donna on their way to visit Donna's mum,

0:06:28 > 0:06:30but they're not the only visitors.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32Keep your eye on the bay window.

0:06:32 > 0:06:36Peepo! That's either a cameraman or Will Mellor's stalker.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38SHE LAUGHS

0:06:38 > 0:06:40Don't laugh. They don't always follow celebrities.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45..party, not a shareholders' meeting.

0:06:45 > 0:06:46I love Arrested Development.

0:06:46 > 0:06:50Although, admittedly, this isn't the best bit.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52Watch Jeffrey Tambor's fetching shades.

0:06:52 > 0:06:55Because, you know what sunglasses do? They reflect.

0:06:55 > 0:06:56I knew it was against the law!

0:06:56 > 0:07:00Ooh! There's the entire Arrested Development crew!

0:07:00 > 0:07:03Hi guys, great show, bad shot!

0:07:05 > 0:07:07We're just getting a breath of fresh air.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09Now, who wants to see

0:07:09 > 0:07:11what the third assistant director on Skins looks like?

0:07:11 > 0:07:14Ready? There he is!

0:07:14 > 0:07:17Bless! There's his little face reflected in the taxi window.

0:07:17 > 0:07:19Bet he got into trouble for that one.

0:07:19 > 0:07:22Don't worry, though, he's still working in the TV industry,

0:07:22 > 0:07:25putting up satellite dishes in the Solihull area.

0:07:28 > 0:07:32Now, who wants to see what the rest of the Skins crew looks like?

0:07:32 > 0:07:35There they are, merrily dollying along the pavement,

0:07:35 > 0:07:37reflected in the bay windows.

0:07:37 > 0:07:39Didn't even wave!

0:07:42 > 0:07:45Vicky Pollard is thrown out of a shop,

0:07:45 > 0:07:47and oh, there's the reflection of the camera crew.

0:07:47 > 0:07:53Standing around, wondering what's about to happen next.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56Is it that? Yes, it was that.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03More crew caught out by cars in 24.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06Cooee, Mr Cameraman.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09Whose stupid idea was it to polish that vehicle?

0:08:09 > 0:08:12Don't worry, Jack Bauer's got 24 hours to find them.

0:08:12 > 0:08:14And some more consonants for his surname.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19Is that you?

0:08:19 > 0:08:21Here's a heart-rending scene

0:08:21 > 0:08:25from Dr Who, as Micky has an emotional reunion with his grandma.

0:08:25 > 0:08:29And the boom mic operator, reflected in Granny's sunglasses.

0:08:29 > 0:08:32A lovely moment.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37This is a cracker. The housewives are desperate,

0:08:37 > 0:08:40but when it comes to reflections,

0:08:40 > 0:08:43the crew are just plain stupid. OK, fair play.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46This shot's all right, no reflections in the car window there.

0:08:46 > 0:08:50But just look what happens when Susan pulls away.

0:08:50 > 0:08:55Ooh! That is one dirty great camera, and one dirty great cameraman.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57Time for a Twinkie!

0:09:02 > 0:09:06Back on Wisteria Lane, Gaby's Maserati is about to be repossessed,

0:09:06 > 0:09:11but oh, dear, whenever I see a shiny object on a TV show, I always fear the worst.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13And here's why.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16Where there's a boom pole, there's a sound man.

0:09:16 > 0:09:22Eva Longoria has been in 128 episodes of Desperate Housewives. And the crew have been in about 12!

0:09:22 > 0:09:25You call this a paint job?

0:09:27 > 0:09:32Only Fools, and here's Del Boy with Mike and Boycie and Trigger

0:09:32 > 0:09:34and the shadow of an enormous camera.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36Altogether now - "You plonker!"

0:09:38 > 0:09:44When TV crews aren't wandering in, or crawling through, or squatting down in the back of shot,

0:09:44 > 0:09:50ruining the hard work of so many others, they're forgetting to clear away their filthy bits of gear.

0:09:50 > 0:09:54And I'm not just talking about flasks of tea or copies of Warhammer magazine.

0:09:54 > 0:09:59I'd like to say that these next clips were memorable for their excellent dialogue or performances,

0:09:59 > 0:10:03but instead, I'm forced to report that they were all but destroyed

0:10:03 > 0:10:06by the unwanted presence of poorly-positioned TV kit.

0:10:06 > 0:10:10Lights, cameras, are just two of the items you'll see. Here's the clips.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Years ago, trucker named Bubba.

0:10:14 > 0:10:18Ah, Dawson's Creek. Look, there's tiny Katie Holmes-y,

0:10:18 > 0:10:20back when she was only trapped in a TV soap

0:10:20 > 0:10:22and not in a marriage to Tom Cruise.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Wait a second! That's either Katie's radio mic

0:10:25 > 0:10:29or the box by which Tom Cruise controls her every movement.

0:10:29 > 0:10:30No, she hadn't met Tom back then.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32She does have one now, though.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Another clip from Pride And Prejudice,

0:10:38 > 0:10:40starring dishy Colin Firth,

0:10:40 > 0:10:43and a scene oozing with sexual tension. Hardly surprising.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46Look at that dancing! That is hot.

0:10:46 > 0:10:47But hang on a minute, what's that?

0:10:47 > 0:10:50An electric light in the early 19th century?

0:10:50 > 0:10:52Oh, I hate anachronistic errors!

0:10:52 > 0:10:55I daren't think what Jane Austen's going to make of that when she sees it.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00She's the real deal.

0:11:00 > 0:11:02Joey told you about the leg?

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Now, as we know, sound men often

0:11:04 > 0:11:10use a boom pole to record sound so the microphone won't get into shot.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13Except sometimes when a sound man has had a very busy morning on set

0:11:13 > 0:11:19or an even busier lunch down the pub, the boom does drop into shot.

0:11:21 > 0:11:25D'oh! There it is, did you see it?

0:11:25 > 0:11:28Oh, wake up you sandal-wearing lush!

0:11:30 > 0:11:34Another clip from Friends and proof that firing the boom operator

0:11:34 > 0:11:37isn't the answer because in all likelihood,

0:11:37 > 0:11:39the next one will be just as bad.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41D'oh, hello!

0:11:44 > 0:11:46Of course.

0:11:46 > 0:11:48Here's a scary scene from Supernatural.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50Two men reading a book?

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Ooh, someone could get a paper cut or an overdue library fine.

0:11:53 > 0:11:57Hey, there's something behind that lampshade. It's a television camera.

0:11:57 > 0:12:01Oh, it doesn't get any more exciting than this.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04Oh, it does.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09Stir up a hornets' nest.

0:12:09 > 0:12:14The Wire. A flawless show in every respect. Well, mostly.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17Look, the cameraman moves back too far and, bang,

0:12:17 > 0:12:21that enormous TV light has just been seen by millions of viewers.

0:12:21 > 0:12:24Well, at least the ones that sit three inches from the screen

0:12:24 > 0:12:29staring at the extreme right of frame instead of at the action, like me.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31GUNFIRE

0:12:33 > 0:12:34He's in here.

0:12:37 > 0:12:41Two Pints Of Lager, and Donna has dragged Gaz to meet her family.

0:12:41 > 0:12:44And this boom mic.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47Hello, there you go, short and sweet, a bit like me.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50Apart from the short bit, obviously.

0:12:50 > 0:12:51He works away a lot.

0:12:53 > 0:12:56She tastes of lard.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58More pints of light comedy lager,

0:12:58 > 0:13:01and stand by for another brief cameo from the boom mic,

0:13:01 > 0:13:05instantly upstaging Ralf Little, and the other one,

0:13:05 > 0:13:06by being twice as funny.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10Peepo! Peep! Peep!

0:13:10 > 0:13:12Thanks, Mr Boom Mic Operator.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14We owe you a drink.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16No, I just kissed her.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20You have absolutely no sense of humour, do you?

0:13:20 > 0:13:23Fawlty Towers, a truly great sitcom

0:13:23 > 0:13:25that wasn't afraid to break the rules.

0:13:25 > 0:13:29Like the one about not leaving monitor screens lying around in the back of shot.

0:13:29 > 0:13:34There it is. You can even make out the very same shot of Basil running

0:13:34 > 0:13:39into the kitchen on the screen, and if you look at the monitor on the monitor, you can even ...

0:13:39 > 0:13:43Actually I'll stop there before or I go mad and start insulting some Germans.

0:13:46 > 0:13:50It's the live EastEnders, and as Bradley lies dying,

0:13:50 > 0:13:53everyone crowds into the Square. Even the boom mic.

0:13:55 > 0:13:57Hell, take my daughter for example.

0:13:57 > 0:14:01The wonderful Arrested Development, and it's time to be

0:14:01 > 0:14:06perfectly honest, of all the "boom mic in shot" shots I've seen, this has to be in my favourite 50.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09A glorious Sunday afternoon. She won't tell me.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12Wotcha! I think you'll agree that was worth waiting for.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14What play?

0:14:16 > 0:14:19Editing is, of course, the simplest of all the jobs

0:14:19 > 0:14:22that people do in television that nobody really cares about.

0:14:22 > 0:14:26All an editor has to do is sit in a room with a producer or director

0:14:26 > 0:14:30and cut out of the stuff that didn't work and stick together all the stuff that did.

0:14:30 > 0:14:35But as we've already seen, mistakes get made, especially in a busy edit suite where teas

0:14:35 > 0:14:39and coffees have to be ordered and lunch menus read from cover to cover.

0:14:39 > 0:14:42Yes, between them, producers, directors and editors can make some

0:14:42 > 0:14:47pretty surprising decisions when it comes to selecting which shots to use and which to throw away.

0:14:47 > 0:14:51Take, for example, the decision to re-shoot all of my links here today

0:14:51 > 0:14:55instead of using the ones I recorded myself yesterday in the shower. Ridiculous.

0:14:59 > 0:15:03Here's a clip from American series Bones, and the perennial question,

0:15:03 > 0:15:06how do you pass the time on a long trip through the desert?

0:15:06 > 0:15:10I know. How about looking at the back projection and trying to spot

0:15:10 > 0:15:16when the cyclorama suddenly changes from flat scrub to mountainscape in a split second. Are we there yet?

0:15:16 > 0:15:20There we are. Your turn.

0:15:20 > 0:15:21And...cut.

0:15:21 > 0:15:25Great work, everybody. Who wants to play I-spy?

0:15:25 > 0:15:30I spy with my little eye something beginning with C.

0:15:30 > 0:15:31It's Crap FX, isn't it?

0:15:35 > 0:15:36Its Skins, and lovely Tony

0:15:36 > 0:15:39is about to tuck into a delicious tuna sandwich.

0:15:39 > 0:15:42Mmm, I love sandwiches. Conversely, most directors hate them.

0:15:42 > 0:15:46They're a continuity nightmare.

0:15:46 > 0:15:50And we're off. Bite one to the left.

0:15:50 > 0:15:52Which is now two bites big.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54That'd really put a dampener on your day.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57And whole again. First bite again to the left.

0:15:57 > 0:15:59Look what you're doing to your mate.

0:15:59 > 0:16:00He doesn't know what day it is.

0:16:00 > 0:16:04- But now multiple bites to left and right.- Have some tuna sandwich.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07- It'll make you feel better.- Are you sure? I'm feeling a bit dizzy.

0:16:07 > 0:16:09No, no, no, leave it.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11Leave it. He's at it as well.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14Tony is back to a one-bite sandwich. Two bites.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17Bites right and left.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19No, two bites to the left.

0:16:19 > 0:16:23- Hi, Tony.- Oh, beat it, kids, I'm trying to concentrate.

0:16:23 > 0:16:25Multiple bites again right and left.

0:16:25 > 0:16:28Oh, I've changed my mind, I hate tuna sandwiches.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32So the chair's a write-off?

0:16:32 > 0:16:37Miranda and Carrie are in the city taking a break from all that sex

0:16:37 > 0:16:40to enjoy a nice sit-down and... Oh, dear, cupcakes.

0:16:40 > 0:16:44Carrie's cupcake continuity is immaculate, but in a moment,

0:16:44 > 0:16:50Miranda's muffin goes from well-eaten to cake-o intacta.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52Actually, that wasn't too bad.

0:16:52 > 0:16:54Tony from Skins, pay attention.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59You got a whacking lot of doughnuts.

0:16:59 > 0:17:03Yes, food is a continuity nightmare, especially on Skins.

0:17:03 > 0:17:07Look, Pandora dives into this bag of doughnuts and grabs one with yellow icing.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10Takes a couple of bites, one, two.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12Now it's half-gone.

0:17:12 > 0:17:15Suddenly, it's all gone.

0:17:15 > 0:17:16Takes a pink one.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18Which is now yellow.

0:17:18 > 0:17:23And back to pink with two bites out of it.

0:17:23 > 0:17:25Then just one bite.

0:17:25 > 0:17:26And now it's gone.

0:17:26 > 0:17:28Hello.

0:17:28 > 0:17:30And back again!

0:17:30 > 0:17:34- That's doughnut madness. - Effie. So glad to meet you.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39In telly, one of the jobs of the director, besides shouting

0:17:39 > 0:17:41and drinking coffee, is blocking,

0:17:41 > 0:17:45which means telling the cameras and actors where to stand,

0:17:45 > 0:17:47though not always in the right place.

0:17:47 > 0:17:51Look, as Jenna goes to wake Gan, who's that loitering in the background?

0:17:51 > 0:17:56It's either an alien or Vila, arms folded, looking bored.

0:17:56 > 0:17:57Gan, come on, wake up.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59- What's wrong, Jenna? - And cue Vila.

0:17:59 > 0:18:02- Something's happened to them. - Where is he?

0:18:02 > 0:18:05If the future turns out to be anything like Blake's 7,

0:18:05 > 0:18:07- I'm going to be so disappointed. - What are you up to now?

0:18:09 > 0:18:11Go on, my son, go on, go on!

0:18:11 > 0:18:15Classic comedy from Only Fools And Horses, with some less-than-classic

0:18:15 > 0:18:19"standing around waiting for a cue" work from actor Lennard Pearce.

0:18:19 > 0:18:23Here it comes. Wait for it, Lennard.

0:18:23 > 0:18:25Oh, Lennard!

0:18:25 > 0:18:29I blame the director. It's not really Granddad's fault.

0:18:29 > 0:18:32He's so old. He's probably just stuck to the lino.

0:18:34 > 0:18:37It's Friends in Vegas.

0:18:37 > 0:18:42Here comes Chandler. He sees Monica having fun with another fellow,

0:18:42 > 0:18:45and all melancholy, he turns to leave.

0:18:45 > 0:18:51And leave again. You might think they just used the same shot twice, and you'd be right.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55You will not be better until they've...

0:18:55 > 0:18:59In this clip from the first series of Red Dwarf, Craig Charles

0:18:59 > 0:19:04is enjoying Craig Ferguson's lines and big acting so much, he joins in.

0:19:04 > 0:19:06I don't know, is it some place near Uruguay?

0:19:06 > 0:19:08Oh, you missed it, didn't you?

0:19:08 > 0:19:11Try again and keep your eyes on little Craig.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14- HIGH-PITCHED:- "I don't know, is it some place near Uruguay?"

0:19:14 > 0:19:16Lovely bit of close-harmony acting.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21Just let her go.

0:19:21 > 0:19:25- Go ahead, shoot.- Agent Mulder is in a stand-off with a villain.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28He's probably an alien in disguise, they usually are.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31Like all good FBI agents, though, he's got his earpiece in so that

0:19:31 > 0:19:34he can listen to Chris Moyles and fight the alien hordes.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36Which is harder? You decide.

0:19:36 > 0:19:40This scene is crying out for a close-up of Mulder wrestling with his conscience

0:19:40 > 0:19:42and finally shooting the baddie.

0:19:42 > 0:19:46Unfortunately, they didn't get one, so they had to film it later

0:19:46 > 0:19:48when he wasn't wearing an earpiece.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50Embarrassed in front of millions.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52Sorry, Dave.

0:19:55 > 0:19:59Mulder and Scully are pursuing a suspect.

0:19:59 > 0:20:03Either that, or another dissatisfied guest is leaving the FBI hotel

0:20:03 > 0:20:05via this half-open window.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08Oh, it's fallen on him.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10No, it hasn't.

0:20:12 > 0:20:15- Get your hands up!- Yeah, he will if you sort that window out.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Max?

0:20:19 > 0:20:20It's Mulder again,

0:20:20 > 0:20:24and he's spotted something odd about this enormous tree trunk.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27Wait a minute, I think I know what it is.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32One minute, it's big with no green and no hand, but in close-up,

0:20:32 > 0:20:37it's suddenly much smaller and gained a pointy hand and some green.

0:20:37 > 0:20:41- I've never seen a ring like that before.- Me neither. Rubbish, wasn't it?

0:20:45 > 0:20:47Here's the lovely Jennifer Ehle

0:20:47 > 0:20:49in Pride And Prejudice, playing the piano.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52Except she isn't, because when we see inside,

0:20:52 > 0:20:54none of the hammers are moving.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57Although, she's definitely got my hammers moving,

0:20:57 > 0:20:58if you know what I mean.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01Actually, I'm not sure if even I know what that means.

0:21:03 > 0:21:08This party's rocking. That's not tea they're sipping, it's rum.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10Mmm... All off their 19th-century faces.

0:21:10 > 0:21:12The editor certainly had a few.

0:21:12 > 0:21:15Look what happens when he cuts to a wide shot.

0:21:15 > 0:21:19..can't express what we feel about your kindness to our dear Lydia.

0:21:19 > 0:21:24Suddenly, these two blokes are talking to each other and not listening to Alison Steadman,

0:21:24 > 0:21:29who's now chatting to someone sitting beside her, who isn't even there.

0:21:29 > 0:21:33Not so much Pride And Prejudice as Pride And Pretty Poor Wide Shot!

0:21:33 > 0:21:35- HE GUFFAWS - Oh, dear!

0:21:37 > 0:21:40And let us toast also Dr Soong.

0:21:40 > 0:21:46Star Trek NG, and Good Data and Bad Data are drinking champagne.

0:21:46 > 0:21:49A perfect match for my mind.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52- My body.- Good Data has been poisoned by Bad Data.

0:21:52 > 0:21:57Good Data topples backwards and somehow lands on his face.

0:21:57 > 0:22:02It's almost as if they had to redo it because the way he fell the first time was rubbish.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04They're good, these androids. I'm getting one.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09He had it shipped over from Scotland.

0:22:09 > 0:22:12Ever wondered what Superman's teenage years were like?

0:22:12 > 0:22:15Me neither, but that didn't stop them making Smallville.

0:22:15 > 0:22:20In between popping zits and shouting at his parents, Clark has found time to visit young Lex Luthor.

0:22:20 > 0:22:21Nice house.

0:22:21 > 0:22:26Shame you can see those two pieces of white tape on the parquet floor,

0:22:26 > 0:22:28put there by the crew to let Lex know where to stand.

0:22:28 > 0:22:31That's what we in TV call a mark.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34- And a mistake.- What's the matter?

0:22:34 > 0:22:37- You don't like it?- No, it very bad.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45The Black Adder, AKA Rowan Atkinson.

0:22:45 > 0:22:49Funny comedian, fine actor, always hits his mark.

0:22:52 > 0:22:55Mainly because it's clearly visible right there under his shoe.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59Three days after my funeral,

0:22:59 > 0:23:02Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion.

0:23:02 > 0:23:06In this clip from Desperate Housewives, Lynette is at the mall

0:23:06 > 0:23:10with those three naughty sons of hers and the baby, in pink, in the trolley.

0:23:10 > 0:23:12I can only imagine.

0:23:12 > 0:23:15Uh-oh, two of the boys have done a runner.

0:23:15 > 0:23:19But one bad pick-up shot later, and it looks like all four have scarpered.

0:23:19 > 0:23:22At least she's still got her pink blanket.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25Whichever way you look at it, that is borderline careless.

0:23:25 > 0:23:28- Lynette Scavo?- Crap.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32Classic Tom Baker-era Dr Who and,

0:23:32 > 0:23:35as one of the mummies from the Pyramids of Mars attacks Sarah Jane,

0:23:35 > 0:23:38he smashes this important device,

0:23:38 > 0:23:41known as a Marconiscope, to smithereens.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45Except in the very next shot, he hasn't.

0:23:45 > 0:23:48If you want to find out what a Marconiscope is,

0:23:48 > 0:23:51just go to any Dr Who fan site. They'll know.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53Just don't ask them what day it is.

0:23:56 > 0:23:59With live TV, you just have to go with it.

0:23:59 > 0:24:02In this climactic scene in the live 'StEnders episode,

0:24:02 > 0:24:05see if you can spot the moment when the cameraman trips.

0:24:08 > 0:24:10Oh!

0:24:12 > 0:24:16Dr George, played by TR Knight, is badly let down by the editing

0:24:16 > 0:24:18of this scene from Grey's Anatomy,

0:24:18 > 0:24:23as we see him remove his surgical topcoat not once but twice.

0:24:23 > 0:24:28A sloppy choice of shots in the edit and a great actor's career lies in ruins.

0:24:30 > 0:24:33# Here's what she said... #

0:24:33 > 0:24:35Great, it's The Simpsons,

0:24:35 > 0:24:38and here is Ned Flanders on top of a hill, singing.

0:24:38 > 0:24:39And here comes everyone else.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42That's funny. Wait a minute, so is that.

0:24:42 > 0:24:46Apu's skin is yellow, which in The Simpsons, means white,

0:24:46 > 0:24:50but he's Asian, and usually brown, which in The Simpsons means brown.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52Which he was, but he isn't any more.

0:24:52 > 0:24:55Who does he think he is, Michael Jackson?

0:24:55 > 0:24:58Sorry, shouldn't joke, he's dead. Jacko, I mean, not Apu.

0:24:58 > 0:24:59That would have been horrible.

0:24:59 > 0:25:02# Que sera, se... #

0:25:02 > 0:25:03Run!

0:25:05 > 0:25:07DOOR OPENS Clark!

0:25:07 > 0:25:12Martha from Smallville has sustained a nasty cut.

0:25:12 > 0:25:14There it is, just above her right eye.

0:25:14 > 0:25:19And here it is on her left eye.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21And back to the right.

0:25:21 > 0:25:26Yep, the director had "crossed the line", telly speak for "cocking up the camera position".

0:25:26 > 0:25:29Then he tried to fix it in the edit by flipping the shot.

0:25:29 > 0:25:33You might be able to get gaffes like that past Superman, but not us.

0:25:37 > 0:25:43Here is a sequence to make the Avatar team blush and then pat

0:25:43 > 0:25:47the Dr Who effects department on the head and say, "Oh, bless."

0:25:47 > 0:25:53When this spaceship crashes into the tower of Big Ben, suddenly, the numerals on her back-to-front.

0:25:53 > 0:25:56Because someone made a boob in the CGI and had to

0:25:56 > 0:26:00flip the shot to make it look like the spaceship enters from the right.

0:26:01 > 0:26:07The technique of flipping can also be used on your own TV remote every time Simon Cowell comes on.

0:26:09 > 0:26:12The king will therefore be requiring a new mistress.

0:26:12 > 0:26:14Dr Tennant again, in this clip,

0:26:14 > 0:26:17leaning on a balustrade in 18th-century France,

0:26:17 > 0:26:19spying on Madame Pompadour.

0:26:19 > 0:26:22She senses his presence, turns, but sees nothing.

0:26:22 > 0:26:25Not even his hand touching the wall.

0:26:25 > 0:26:28Because he isn't. But, in the next shot, he clearly still is.

0:26:28 > 0:26:32Maybe he's developed the power of invisibility.

0:26:32 > 0:26:34She's in for a surprise at bedtime.

0:26:36 > 0:26:37..on my brand-new camera.

0:26:37 > 0:26:40A less-than-thrilling clip from Dr Who,

0:26:40 > 0:26:44and Mark Warren is being filmed by a mate on his camcorder.

0:26:44 > 0:26:48The producers of the show are making sure we understand we're looking

0:26:48 > 0:26:53through a camcorder or by putting these frame lines on the screen.

0:26:53 > 0:26:57But spin on through the tedium, and the little lines have gone.

0:26:57 > 0:27:00Have dark forces tampered with the fabric of time and space?

0:27:00 > 0:27:03- I still don't know.- Well, I do.

0:27:03 > 0:27:07No, the editor got distracted by his Facebook page and forgot to put them on.

0:27:09 > 0:27:13And finally, if it's bad shot choices you're after,

0:27:13 > 0:27:16and who isn't, then check this. Here's Buffy,

0:27:16 > 0:27:19undertaking a vampires slayer's least onerous of tasks,

0:27:19 > 0:27:22picking up and putting down a pair of glasses.

0:27:22 > 0:27:23See if you can spot the gaffe.

0:27:25 > 0:27:28Yep.

0:27:28 > 0:27:30Wearing two pink rings on her fingers,

0:27:30 > 0:27:34she places the specs on the table, unfolded, with both hands.

0:27:34 > 0:27:37But in the close-up, the glasses have been folded,

0:27:37 > 0:27:40and are now put down by a single hand wearing a silver ring

0:27:40 > 0:27:42on a completely different table.

0:27:42 > 0:27:47That, with the best will in the world, was really shit.

0:27:49 > 0:27:52Well, there it is, TV's Greatest Mistakes.

0:27:52 > 0:27:55I'd just like to say thanks to all the people involved tonight

0:27:55 > 0:27:58for being so very sloppy in your chosen career.

0:27:58 > 0:28:01It's a good job it's just telly and nothing of any importance

0:28:01 > 0:28:06because if this had been a paper round or a Saturday job in a burger bar, you'd have been fired.

0:28:06 > 0:28:07Bye-bye.

0:28:30 > 0:28:32Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:32 > 0:28:33E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk