0:00:00 > 0:00:00- Subtitles
0:00:00 > 0:00:02- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:00:09 > 0:00:14- "tolerant but critical"
0:00:26 > 0:00:31- You won't believe what happened - to me on the way to the show.
0:00:33 > 0:00:38- I was driving down - from London to Cardiff.
0:00:38 > 0:00:42- When I reached Caernarfon...
0:00:45 > 0:00:47- ..I stopped for a cuppa.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51- I was in Caernarfon - - this is true, by the way...
0:00:51 > 0:00:55- ..I was in Caernarfon - when a skinhead walked up to me...
0:00:56 > 0:00:59- ..and said, - "Do you want a 'stid' (hiding)?"
0:00:59 > 0:01:00- "Excuse me?"
0:01:00 > 0:01:02- "Do you want a 'stid'?"
0:01:02 > 0:01:04- I didn't know what he meant.
0:01:04 > 0:01:09- I thought he was referring to a - fictional character from the '60s.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13- Stead from the Avengers.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16- I said, - "No, if I want one of them...
0:01:16 > 0:01:20- "..I'll go down to Portmeirion - to meet The Prisoner."
0:01:20 > 0:01:22- The Prisoner is still there...
0:01:22 > 0:01:25- ..imprisoned in a toilet - doing a Number Two.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29- You can hear him through the door.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32- He says things like, "Where am I?
0:01:34 > 0:01:35- "What do you want?"
0:01:35 > 0:01:39- "I'm not constipated, - I have diarrhoea."
0:01:40 > 0:01:43- Of course, the skinhead - didn't appreciate this.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47- That's when I realised - that 'stid' meant a hiding.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51- As I wiped the blood off my nose...
0:01:51 > 0:01:54- ..I had a moment to reflect.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- I had a pleasant surprise - when I saw...
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- ..walking towards me - on Caernarfon's high street...
0:02:02 > 0:02:04- ..an even more - fictional character...
0:02:04 > 0:02:09- ..wearing a long black cloak - on his back...
0:02:09 > 0:02:11- ..with black slick-back hair - and fangs.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14- Dracula, be damned.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- Dracula, all the way - from Transylvania.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19- He must have smelt the blood.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23- I wasn't scared. I wanted to know - where he was heading.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26- Of course, - Dracula doesn't speak Welsh.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29- But when in Rome...
0:02:29 > 0:02:31- ..do as you do at home.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33- "OK, co(u)nt?"
0:02:33 > 0:02:37- I asked. "How are you, co(u)nt?"
0:02:37 > 0:02:43- And he replied, saying, - "Co(u)nt Dracula.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46- "Co(u)nt Dracula."
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- Well, indeed, - what was he doing in Caernarfon?
0:02:49 > 0:02:52- Had he come to see the castle?
0:02:52 > 0:02:55- Caernarfon Castle - is the oldest castle in Wales.
0:02:55 > 0:03:00- It was until they built one - that was older.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05- "Hey, Dracula, I hope you don't mind - me asking. Where are you going?"
0:03:06 > 0:03:09- He replied once more. "Ttttthhhhh."
0:03:09 > 0:03:13- He's a vampire. "Ttttthhhhh."
0:03:13 > 0:03:16- I was scared now - - he was coming nearer.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18- "Ttttthhhhh."
0:03:18 > 0:03:22- He came right up to my face. - "Ttttthhhhhanrhaeadr-ym-Mochnant."
0:03:26 > 0:03:28- He tried to pronounce it properly.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33- You can take the boy out of Wales...
0:03:34 > 0:03:37- ..but you can't take the English - out of Wales.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42- I don't want to say anything nasty - about them...
0:03:43 > 0:03:46- ..but since I speak a language - they don't understand...
0:03:46 > 0:03:49- ..I bet they think I'm talking - about them right now.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51- So I might as well.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- They're paranoid.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58- They're more than willing - to be paranoid...
0:03:58 > 0:04:00- ..about the Welsh language.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03- They say if they walk - into a North Wales pub...
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- ..everyone starts talking Welsh.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08- That's a coincidence.
0:04:08 > 0:04:13- I walked into an English pub and - they all started talking English.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- I know they were talking about me.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19- I had a translator with me - at the time.
0:04:19 > 0:04:24- I also know they weren't speaking - English before I walked in.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26- They weren't speaking at all.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28- It's a mute point.
0:04:29 > 0:04:34- They're paranoid about - the Welsh language when it's spoken.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37- But not when it's written.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42- When did you hear about - an Englishman driving into Wales...
0:04:42 > 0:04:46- ..and worrying that the bilingual - signs were referring to him?
0:04:47 > 0:04:49- 'Gwasanaethau' - - that means I'm a dickhead.
0:04:52 > 0:04:57- I've told them that the signs - were English before they drove in.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06- I'm not looking forward - to the end of the gig.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10- My girlfriend has offered - to cook me an African meal.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15- The problem is, I know her too well.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- She has cannibalistic tendencies.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20- I'm not sure what's in the food.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23- Anyway, I've already eaten... her.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- I got married this year. Yes indeed.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31- Thank you. - This has upset my girlfriend.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39- I'm sorry, - I married this year ten years ago.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- My wife's name is Eleni (this year).
0:05:42 > 0:05:46- Eleni James - she was - Eleni Lewis before we got married.
0:05:46 > 0:05:52- The certificate says James nee - Lewis. She can make the choice.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- I have a tolerant yet critical wife.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03- She criticises me on many levels. - We live in a lift.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10- She complains - that I never admit I'm wrong.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14- No, I'd rather not admit - to anything, especially to her.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- I'd rather not admit - we're married sometimes.
0:06:20 > 0:06:25- The most stinging criticism - was this, "You're crap in bed."
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- What happened was, - a month ago she said...
0:06:28 > 0:06:33- .."Look, I'm serious, - I want an in-depth conversation."
0:06:33 > 0:06:37- Here we go, we'll have to find - an underground cave...
0:06:40 > 0:06:42- ..to have our chat.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- We found one and she said, - "You're crap in bed."
0:06:45 > 0:06:46- I know - I snore.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51- "That's not what I meant. - I meant the sex.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56- "You can't find the clitoris."
0:06:56 > 0:06:58- That came as a shock.
0:06:58 > 0:07:03- A Northwalian not knowing - the Welsh word for clitoris.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06- To be fair, I wasn't sure.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11- I remember Welsh rhyming slang - - the Guto Rhys.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17- That wouldn't have gone down well. - A bit like me.
0:07:19 > 0:07:25- She said, "Look, you can't - find the 'gogleisydd'."
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- That's the Welsh word - we settled upon.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30- Gogleisydd is appropriate.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34- She's a Gog and when we discuss - the clitoris, she speaks.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38- Well, every time she discusses it. - Apparently, I can't find it.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42- Truth be told, - I didn't know it was missing.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46- I didn't know the clitoris existed - in the real world.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50- I thought it was fictional - - from Pedwar Cainc y Mabinogi.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54- You had to be kinky - to believe in it.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58- We found a compromise.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02- Even though I'm crap in bed, - I promised to do more housework.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07- Washing the dishes, - washing the clothes and hoovering.
0:08:07 > 0:08:13- I'm glad I agreed to hoover. I was - hoovering behind the sofa last week.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15- What do you think I found?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- The clitoris.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23- She'd dropped it on the carpet.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26- I picked it up and gave her - the sharp end of my tongue.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34- And now we're friends again. - I don't know how that came about.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- More music.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44- My favourite dog is a bulldog.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48- I like the wait it barks. Moooo!
0:08:55 > 0:08:57- That inspired the next song.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- Some of you - would call this the blues.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13- It sounds better after some booze.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19- # Well, pussy merry miaow
0:09:22 > 0:09:24- # Where did your fur go?
0:09:29 > 0:09:30- # Yes, pussy merry miaow
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- # Where did your fur go?
0:09:37 > 0:09:38- # Oh
0:09:42 > 0:09:43- # By going through Llwyn-tew
0:09:44 > 0:09:46- # Through the snow and ice
0:09:48 > 0:09:50- # Pussy merry miaow
0:09:51 > 0:09:52- # Miaow
0:09:52 > 0:09:55- Here's the chorus.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57- # Miaow
0:10:00 > 0:10:02- # Miaow
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- # Tttttthhhhh, miaow
0:10:05 > 0:10:07- # Miaow, miaow
0:10:07 > 0:10:08- # Miaow, miaow
0:10:09 > 0:10:10- # Miaow
0:10:12 > 0:10:13- # Miaow
0:10:14 > 0:10:17- # Miaow, miaow, miaow, miaow
0:10:17 > 0:10:19- # Miaow, miaow, miaow, miaow
0:10:19 > 0:10:21- # Bleurgh! #
0:10:21 > 0:10:25- I'm sorry, it's a fur ball.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29- It's such a sad song, I choke up.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- Thank you very much. Cheerio.
0:10:39 > 0:10:39- .
0:10:44 > 0:10:44- Subtitles
0:10:44 > 0:10:46- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:10:52 > 0:10:56- "Gar's world"
0:11:02 > 0:11:04- Hello, Cardiff.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12- I don't know when this show - will be aired so here goes.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15- Merry Christmas, Happy Easter, - Happy St David's Day...
0:11:16 > 0:11:20- ..and congratulations to Scotland - on gaining independence.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22- All bases covered.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25- Hello, how are you, are you alright?
0:11:25 > 0:11:26- Good, good.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29- I don't want to start - on a low note...
0:11:29 > 0:11:32- ..but I've split up - with another girlfriend.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Don't say 'aahh'. - You haven't heard what I did yet.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40- Last Tuesday morning, - we were both in bed.
0:11:40 > 0:11:45- She turned to me and asked, "Why do - I have to sleep on the wet patch?"
0:11:47 > 0:11:52- I replied, "Because you, darling, - are the one with diarrhoea."
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- Not nice. Yuck.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02- She went off on one. - We were fighting like a cat and dog.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07- Arguing. We went to the bathroom - together, shouting all the time.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10- Still arguing - at the breakfast table.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14- We were still arguing at the bus - stop waiting for the bus to town.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18- The bus arrived and the driver - asked, "Are you getting on?"
0:12:18 > 0:12:21- She said, "No, he's a f****n' t**t!"
0:12:25 > 0:12:29- For the sake of getting some peace, - she went on the first bus...
0:12:30 > 0:12:32- ..and I waited for the next one.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35- I went to town, - did what I had to do...
0:12:35 > 0:12:37- ..I was home in an hour and a half.
0:12:37 > 0:12:42- I had a cuppa and an hour later, - I heard the key turn in the door.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43- She came in.
0:12:44 > 0:12:49- She'd been doing some retail - therapy to get over the howdy-doo.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53- I'd never seen a woman - carrying so many bags.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57- She came in and I asked - if she fancied a cuppa.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- "I don't want anything from you. - In fact..."
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- She started rummaging - through her bags...
0:13:04 > 0:13:06- ..and pulled out - the biggest vibrator...
0:13:07 > 0:13:09- ..I'd seen in my life.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- She waved it in front of me.
0:13:11 > 0:13:16- "Look, I'll never need - anything from you again."
0:13:17 > 0:13:19- Guess who had to put - the batteries in.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31- I was in Tesco yesterday morning - - other supermarkets are available.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34- I was queuing up to pay for my food.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38- And old man was in front of me - and as he got to the till...
0:13:38 > 0:13:42- ..the check-out girl asked, - "Have you got a bag for life?"
0:13:42 > 0:13:45- "No, bach, - I divorced her last year."
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- It was lovely - to see a man of that age...
0:13:49 > 0:13:52- ..make a real mess of his life, - just like I've done.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56- I knew things were going - to go wrong with my relationship.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58- My troubles started - back on St Dwynwen's Day.
0:13:59 > 0:14:05- A Cardi's favourite romantic day - - far cheaper than Valentine's Day.
0:14:05 > 0:14:10- I thought I'd show her my love - by buying her a bunch of flowers.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13- I asked for a bunch of flowers - at the shop.
0:14:13 > 0:14:18- "Daffodils, roses, lilies? - What do you want to say?"
0:14:18 > 0:14:20- I replied, "I want a shag."
0:14:25 > 0:14:28- I should be grateful - to have anyone in my life.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31- I'm not fussy, - I'm not high maintenance.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34- I was asked, - "What do you look for in a woman?"
0:14:34 > 0:14:36- "A pulse, ideally."
0:14:39 > 0:14:42- It's OK for me to find a woman, - but Mam's the problem.
0:14:43 > 0:14:47- As we all know, the mother - controls every family in Wales.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49- They say what goes.
0:14:49 > 0:14:55- Every time I've taken a girl home, - she's never been happy.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58- They've never passed muster - with Mam.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00- I can remember each sentence.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04- "Does she have to take drugs - in the kitchen?
0:15:06 > 0:15:09- "Does she have to trim her pubes - in the living room?"
0:15:11 > 0:15:12- It's hopeless.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15- I had a brainwave.
0:15:15 > 0:15:20- I went out and found a girl - who looked like Mam...
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- ..sounded like Mam...
0:15:23 > 0:15:26- ..and even dressed like Mam.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28- Right, quids in, - I've done it this time.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31- I took her back to Lampeter - - Dad couldn't stand her.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43- I can't say I'm too worried - about my last relationship ending.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46- There were problems - right from the start.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49- I didn't think - she was the right one.
0:15:49 > 0:15:54- She was into role playing - - and not like Dungeons and Dragons.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00- She liked acting.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- To be honest, - she was a shit actor in the bedroom.
0:16:03 > 0:16:07- There are plenty of people on TV - who are shit actors already.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13- On the first night, she said - let's play doctors and nurses.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18- I put her on a trolley and left her - in a corridor for two days.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- Apparently not, it seems.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28- I felt the spark had gone - last summer.
0:16:28 > 0:16:33- I said we needed to - spice things up in our relationship.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37- "What if I ring you one night - and I'll talk sexy on the phone?"
0:16:37 > 0:16:40- She said, - "Anything to keep you quiet."
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- Fine. - I decided to phone her one night.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47- I phoned her Wednesday night, after - the Champions League, obviously.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52- "Hiya, baby, it's me." - "What do you want?"
0:16:52 > 0:16:56- "I thought we could have - that sexy chat." "Whatever."
0:16:56 > 0:17:01- So I asked, - "What are you wearing right now?"
0:17:01 > 0:17:04- "That tight T-shirt you like."
0:17:04 > 0:17:06- "Good, good. What else?"
0:17:06 > 0:17:09- "The mini skirt - which drives you crazy."
0:17:09 > 0:17:13- "Oh, great. What colour knickers - are you wearing?"
0:17:14 > 0:17:17- She said, - "I'm not wearing knickers."
0:17:18 > 0:17:21- I asked, "What are you doing?"
0:17:21 > 0:17:23- "I'm having a dump."
0:17:30 > 0:17:35- So, single man again. - Look out, ladies.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36- What a catch.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- To get my head straight and - forget about the previous week...
0:17:42 > 0:17:44- ..I returned to Lampeter - for a weekend.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49- While I was there, - I bumped into Uncle Gwilym.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52- Some of you may have heard - about Uncle Gwilym.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54- He's the biggest Cardi ever.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56- I'll tell you how tight he is.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00- Every time he lifts his head, - his foreskin rolls back.
0:18:01 > 0:18:02- That's tight.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08- Uncle Gwil didn't have - the best of summers.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11- He found out in July - he had diabetes.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13- He looked on the bright side.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17- "Well, I can piss on my Corn Flakes - and they'll taste better."
0:18:19 > 0:18:23- Keith Bach, Uncle Gwilym's son, - fell into the Teifi. Almost drowned.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27- Luckily, a tourist dived in - and rescued him.
0:18:27 > 0:18:32- When Gwilym found out, he went to - the Black Lion to see the tourist.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- "Excuse me, did you rescue my son?"
0:18:35 > 0:18:38- "Yes," he replied. - "Good. Where's his hat?"
0:18:46 > 0:18:50- Uncle Gwil told me about him - and Wilf going to the Royal Welsh.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53- They were only there a day - but they had fun.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56- They found a cake stall - on the field.
0:18:57 > 0:19:02- Wilf said, "Do you want to know - how to get three free cakes?"
0:19:02 > 0:19:04- This made Gwilym very excited.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08- Wilf went over to the stall - and spoke to the man.
0:19:09 > 0:19:14- They were having a chat and - Wilf said, "Is that Dai Llanilar?"
0:19:14 > 0:19:17- The man took no notice. - Wilf tried again.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19- "Is he opening his wallet?"
0:19:20 > 0:19:22- The man turned his head right away.
0:19:22 > 0:19:27- As he did so, Wilf grabbed a cake - and put it in his coat.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31- They carried on chatting. - "Is that Heledd Cynwal in a bikini?"
0:19:31 > 0:19:36- Every man within earshot had a look! - Wilf grabbed another cake.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38- Wilf tried again.
0:19:38 > 0:19:43- "Is that John and Alun syphoning - red diesel from the tractor?"
0:19:43 > 0:19:46- Country music - doesn't pay as well as it did.
0:19:46 > 0:19:51- The man took a closer look - and Wilf grabbed a third cake.
0:19:51 > 0:19:55- He thanked the man on the stall - and walked back to Gwilym.
0:19:55 > 0:20:00- "What do you think?" - "That was amateur. I can do better."
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- Uncle Gwil went up to the same man - and said...
0:20:03 > 0:20:07- .."Hey do you like tricks? - Watch this - this is a trick."
0:20:08 > 0:20:12- Uncle Gwilym leant in, - grabbed a cake and ate it.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16- He took a second one and ate it. - He took a third cake and ate it.
0:20:16 > 0:20:21- When he swallowed the third cake, he - turned to the man and went "ta-da!"
0:20:24 > 0:20:25- The man was so angry.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- "What kind of trick - do you call that?"
0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Gwilym said, "Check Wilf's pockets!"
0:20:42 > 0:20:46- Lampeter. Uncle Gwil invited me out - for a pint. He could see I was low.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50- "Let's go and meet the new barmaid - - Bet." "Bet what?
0:20:50 > 0:20:53- "Bet you don't know what - I'm drinking." "Guinness?"
0:20:53 > 0:20:55- "Thanks for offering."
0:20:55 > 0:20:57- I fall for it every time.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01- In we went to the pub.
0:21:02 > 0:21:07- Uncle Gwilym turned to me and said, - "I'm glad you're with me tonight."
0:21:08 > 0:21:13- He's a hard man. I didn't think he - could ever open up to me like this.
0:21:13 > 0:21:18- "Yes, I'm glad you're here. When I - go for a piss, look after my pint."
0:21:19 > 0:21:22- Before that, he would write - on a piece of paper...
0:21:22 > 0:21:25- .."I've spat in this" - and leave it next to his pint.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29- Until the night someone wrote - next to it, "So have I."
0:21:32 > 0:21:36- We were sat there and who came in - but one of Gwilym's best friends...
0:21:36 > 0:21:38- ..Dodgy Keith.
0:21:40 > 0:21:44- He calls himself Dodgy Keith - but his real name was Dodgy Bill.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46- For tax reasons, he changed it.
0:21:48 > 0:21:52- Gwilym pointed him out - - "He's a hell of boy, this one.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57- "He can get his hands on anything. - He can find anything for you."
0:21:57 > 0:21:59- "Could he find Bryn Fon's talent?"
0:22:06 > 0:22:09- Angharad Mair - was the original version.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12- Actually...
0:22:13 > 0:22:16- Gwilym said, - "He can't perform miracles."
0:22:16 > 0:22:19- I sat down and talked - to Dodgy Keith.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23- I said, "I'm a celeb, of sorts. - I used to be.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27- "I'm windswept and interesting. - I'd love a helicopter."
0:22:27 > 0:22:30- "OK, what colour?"
0:22:30 > 0:22:33- "Blue." "OK. Good." - And away he went.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37- I didn't think any more of it - and we carried on drinking.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41- An hour later, - a pretty woman walked into the pub.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43- A rare occurrence in Lampeter.
0:22:43 > 0:22:48- I forgot all about my relationship - problems the previous week.
0:22:48 > 0:22:49- I tried my luck.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53- I went up to her and said, - "Can I buy you a drink?"
0:22:53 > 0:22:56- She looked at me and said, - "Can you just give me the money?"
0:23:02 > 0:23:08- It was approaching stop-tap - and Dodgy Keith walked into the bar.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12- He said, "I've got something - for you in the car park."
0:23:12 > 0:23:16- We went out and a helicopter - was neatly parked in the car park.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19- A blue one. I was over the moon.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23- The Mid Wales Air Ambulance - weren't happy, mind.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26- That's enough from me.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29- Thank you for listening. Goodnight.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57- S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.
0:23:58 > 0:23:58- .