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0:00:32 > 0:00:38- If Hebog is present, - we ask him to be upstanding.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40- Hebog!
0:00:40 > 0:00:43- There's a commotion - at the far end, on the left.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46- Oh! She's a lady.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49- A woman! Yes, indeed, a woman.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53- For the first time ever, - a woman will wear the Crown.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15- The excited commentator...
0:01:15 > 0:01:19- ..shows the importance - of Dilys Cadwaladr's success...
0:01:19 > 0:01:22- ..at the Rhyl National Eisteddfod - in 1953.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26- She was the first woman - to win the Crown.
0:01:26 > 0:01:31- But beyond that prize, her work - has been given little attention.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34- She was a relatively prolific poet.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38- The story of her life - has also been rather overlooked.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40- Yet, how many poets...
0:01:40 > 0:01:44- ..have their portraits - hanging on a pub sign?
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- Come to wander - the lands of the dawn
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- And our green years
0:02:13 > 0:02:17- Her success in life - was counterbalanced by frustration.
0:02:17 > 0:02:22- In reading her work, one senses - a personality split into two.
0:02:22 > 0:02:27- She's a poet and a housewife - living under the same roof.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- She can't decide which one - is the real Dilys Cadwaladr.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34- The housewife likes the poet.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- But the poet bemoans the housewife.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42- In her words, she complains - about "being perpetually on the go."
0:02:42 > 0:02:47- Her conscience nags her - to be always "mending and tidying.
0:02:47 > 0:02:53- "Busy fingers - that steal each precious second."
0:03:07 > 0:03:12- When you consider her words, - you can appreciate her dilemma.
0:03:12 > 0:03:17- London attracted her, - but so did Bardsey Island.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19- The poet had to do the housework.
0:03:20 > 0:03:25- Tensions arose in choosing between - unconventional romance and marriage.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- You see these tensions - permeating her poems.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33- It's always the same confusion, - and it's evident in Y Gwcw.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36- That was the title of the poem.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- What lies at its heart - is her own inner turmoil.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47- It's a poem about the choice - facing a traveller.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49- You can turn right or turn left.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52- The choice is open to each of us.
0:03:52 > 0:03:57- She talks of turning right, - with a sensible and orderly mind.
0:03:57 > 0:04:03- Then she mentions turning left - and how things are so different.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- Dilys took several left turns.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14- "Is this to be my fate - Each day between eight and nine?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- "Be it June, a sky blue day
0:04:16 > 0:04:18- "Or February, rainy and grey
0:04:19 > 0:04:21- "I go towards the crossroads
0:04:21 > 0:04:24- "And there I shall turn right
0:04:25 > 0:04:27- "My hair is neat and tidy
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- "And my mind is quite alright.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36- "Or will a morn arrive perhaps
0:04:36 > 0:04:38- "When comes a mild madness
0:04:39 > 0:04:42- "Like youth's carefree thrill, - to meet me on a hill?
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- "I approach the crossroads, - and ponder.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48- "I take the turning left
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- "My hair a priceless tangle
0:04:51 > 0:04:53- "And my step splashing the dew.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- "Be my love messenger, cuckoo
0:04:59 > 0:05:01- "To the gods of my future.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03- "Take my request before them
0:05:03 > 0:05:06- "One very blessed day
0:05:06 > 0:05:08- "Be it June, a sky blue day
0:05:08 > 0:05:11- "Or February, rainy and grey
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- "And I'll approach the crossroads
0:05:15 > 0:05:17- "Sometime between eight and nine."
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- What came after the left turn?
0:05:32 > 0:05:34- There would be freedom, of course.
0:05:34 > 0:05:39- But because of her nature, - because of her upbringing...
0:05:39 > 0:05:43- ..because of her background, - she couldn't enjoy it fully.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- She couldn't relax in that freedom.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52- Dilys was brought up - in a comfortable environment.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56- Her school friends - remember her as a pretty girl.
0:05:56 > 0:06:01- She wore clothes of quality. - She had a bike before others did.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05- She went on her holidays - to her grandmother's in Cricieth.
0:06:07 > 0:06:12- When she was eleven, the death - of her mother was a turning point.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16- She recalls her mother's illness - in the following words.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21- "The noise of the cruel cough - was a nightmare to me as a child.
0:06:21 > 0:06:27- "I called out to her from my bed - to ask if she was still alive."
0:06:28 > 0:06:31- When her father died, - many years later...
0:06:31 > 0:06:35- ..she wrote a poem - which suggested...
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- ..that she was still grieving - for her mother.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41- "This is his sweetest ever journey
0:06:42 > 0:06:44- "He puts his best foot forward.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49- "Don't stop him. Dad wants to go.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52- He's on his way home to Mam."
0:06:58 > 0:07:02- From a very young age, - she reveals her wish to write poems.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07- The young girl is an avid reader - of works in Welsh and in English.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12- At the age of 16, - she arrives at Bangor University.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- She was quite happy - as a student in Bangor.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19- She made lifelong friends - at college.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23- I think that having a good time - at college was the priority.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27- In the final year, - it overshadowed their work.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37- She preferred to escape - to Glyn Ogwen woods.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41- She would write here, - rather than attend lectures.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44- Creativity, she said, - was "heavenly".
0:07:46 > 0:07:50- After qualifying as a teacher, - she went to teach in Nant Gwynant.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- She said - that she was "blissfully happy".
0:07:54 > 0:07:56- But she didn't stay there long.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00- London was calling. - Her next move was to leave Wales.
0:08:00 > 0:08:05- She went to the big city, - which she described in this way.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08- "A city full of after-dark horrors."
0:08:08 > 0:08:11- Was this perhaps - her way of venturing...
0:08:11 > 0:08:14- ..to turn left at the crossroads?
0:08:14 > 0:08:18- I can understand fully - Dilys's desire to go to London.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22- It's the type of thing - she would have wanted to do.
0:08:22 > 0:08:27- There was an urge to be - a part of a different kind of life.
0:08:27 > 0:08:32- It would have been a strange thing - had Dilys not gone to London.
0:08:34 > 0:08:39- For some, the adventure - might lead to a creative awakening.
0:08:39 > 0:08:45- Unfortunately, for Dilys Cadwaladr, - it had quite the opposite effect.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49- She was bored with all company, - and nothing excited her.
0:08:49 > 0:08:55- What kept her as a living spirit - had all but been extinguished.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57- But one Saturday afternoon...
0:08:57 > 0:09:01- ..she heard a story - that would change everything.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10- In the Welsh section - at Foyles bookshop...
0:09:11 > 0:09:15- ..she heard of a Pembrokeshire poet - who roamed the streets of London.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- He would sleep on the Embankment.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20- She made a decision there and then.
0:09:21 > 0:09:25- This was to be her mission. - She would find and care for him.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28- She says...
0:09:28 > 0:09:32- .."I knew suddenly that I was - no longer the same person."
0:09:33 > 0:09:36- In one of her - Taith Yr Anialwch essays...
0:09:36 > 0:09:40- ..she describes so vividly - her first sight of Dewi Emrys.
0:09:40 > 0:09:45- It's about her reaction to the man, - his voice and his personality.
0:09:45 > 0:09:50- Clearly, something happened - during those moments.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- Going to London, - meeting Dewi, their relationship.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59- Each one signified a small turn - to the left, one after the other.
0:10:07 > 0:10:12- Although they met in London, - the romance blossomed in Wales.
0:10:13 > 0:10:18- She refers to this Pontneddfechan - beauty spot as "The Cathedral".
0:10:18 > 0:10:22- She recalls one visit here - with Dewi Emrys.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24- Emrys, as she called him...
0:10:24 > 0:10:29- ..insisted that she should cross - behind the waterfall's veil.
0:10:29 > 0:10:34- He'd then beseech the Celtic gods - to turn her into a water goblin!
0:10:37 > 0:10:40- No wonder, years later, - she wrote these words.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44- "That romantic place - has remained a haven of dreams...
0:10:44 > 0:10:47- "..in my imagination, to this day.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54- "A moment of heaven - within weary hours
0:10:55 > 0:10:58- "And a flood of glory - fills the valley
0:10:59 > 0:11:02- "The aromas of paradise - flow through my head
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- "And the hands of angels - tear through the veil
0:11:07 > 0:11:09- "A flash of intimacy
0:11:10 > 0:11:12- "Your clear face to hand
0:11:12 > 0:11:16- "Then silence, - as night falls on the land."
0:11:29 > 0:11:33- At the Llanelli National Eisteddfod - in 1930...
0:11:34 > 0:11:38- ..Dilys Cadwaladr faced - the biggest crisis of her life.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40- Dewi Emrys had just won the Chair.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45- Dilys had come to tell him - that she was pregnant.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48- A decision needed to be made - about the way forward.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- The two lovers - have reached a crossroads.
0:11:52 > 0:11:57- Here is her description - of the roads, years later.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01- "One was even and free of obstacles, - the other dangerous and winding."
0:12:04 > 0:12:09- Dilys wrote a poem - that reflected her predicament.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13- We associate the poem with freedom.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16- It's also about confinement - and danger.
0:12:16 > 0:12:21- It's about the quest for freedom, - and the results of securing freedom.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24- It's about all those things.
0:12:24 > 0:12:29- Maybe she saw herself - as the rabbit trapped in a net.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32- It was certainly so at one point.
0:12:32 > 0:12:37- By her own admission later, - she didn't know where to turn.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50- "A little rabbit - on a delightful wander
0:12:50 > 0:12:53- "With the urge - of a new freedom in her leap
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- "Hers was a world - with no doors nor limits
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- "Sweet was her speed - over crooked slopes.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06- "A man came to the slope - with a deceptive tread.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10- "The huntsman's hunger - was in his hot eyes
0:13:10 > 0:13:14- "The wilderness force - rushed to their eternal holes
0:13:15 > 0:13:18- "But she was in a quandary - on an isolated bank
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- "The dreams - of winding pathways disappeared
0:13:27 > 0:13:31- "The memory of captivity - froze passion
0:13:31 > 0:13:36- "The fainting of fear - entered luxurious eyes
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- "And nothing moved under the net."
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0:13:55 > 0:13:55- Subtitles
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- There came sad hours
0:14:07 > 0:14:09- The ebb tide came.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24- Undeniably, her relationship - with Dewi Emrys...
0:14:24 > 0:14:28- ..had a huge impact - on the life of Dilys Cadwaladr.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32- The search for him, the meeting, - the friendship, the separation.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- They lived together, - but separated again.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40- She revisits the tale - of this journey countless times.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47- Years later, - she writes a letter to a friend.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51- She illustrates literally - the pattern of this journey.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56- In sketch form, she shows - the couple coming together...
0:14:56 > 0:14:58- ..after a period in the wasteland.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- Then, by 1945, the paths diverge.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04- They each turn for home.
0:15:07 > 0:15:12- She asks if both paths - lead to the same home.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15- She herself replies - in the affirmative.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19- She explains - that home in this world...
0:15:19 > 0:15:22- ..is not the same - as one's eventual home.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24- What a clear echo of Dewi Emrys.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- These were his words to her.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31- "I don't blame you, - nor will I try to persuade you.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34- "Choose your path
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- "But when tiredness - wearies your step
0:15:37 > 0:15:39- "Come back to the old paths."
0:15:52 > 0:15:54- It was in a London bookshop...
0:15:54 > 0:15:58- ..that Dilys Cadwaladr - first heard about Dewi Emrys.
0:15:59 > 0:16:03- But it's in another bookshop, - this time in Cricieth...
0:16:03 > 0:16:06- ..that she meets - a new friend and partner.
0:16:06 > 0:16:11- She was to describe him later - as "a solid tower after insecurity."
0:16:12 > 0:16:16- I believe that she and Leo - had a very special bond.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18- He was a character.
0:16:18 > 0:16:22- A strong personality - who had witnessed much suffering.
0:16:23 > 0:16:28- There was a tremendous amount - of mutual understanding, certainly.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31- It was a pivotal point in her life.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36- There's no question of one thing.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38- Dilys was a firm believer in fate.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41- She responded to it instinctively.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45- She says that she had a dream, - years previously.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48- It was about Shon, her son.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50- At long last, he came.
0:16:50 > 0:16:55- With him came a new family - to Tynygroes.
0:16:55 > 0:16:59- It was near Nant Bwlch yr Heyrn - and Llyn Geirionydd.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01- Shon, Leo and Dilys...
0:17:02 > 0:17:05- ..Lotty the goat, - and Piggy the corgi.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09- I think that, and indeed - by her own admission...
0:17:09 > 0:17:12- ..she had been adrift - for much of her life...
0:17:12 > 0:17:15- ..until she met my father.
0:17:15 > 0:17:20- They settled first on Bardsey, - although she found it hard there.
0:17:20 > 0:17:25- There was a calmness and beauty - surrounding this place.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27- It suited her down to the ground.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31- She was very happy - and settled here, definitely.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34- Dilys's happiness was sporadic.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38- She experienced - intense moments, certainly.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42- But it was in Nant Gwynant - and in Nant Bwlch yr Heyrn...
0:17:42 > 0:17:45- ..that she enjoyed - her happiest times.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- She used to roam the hills - with her dog and her goat.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52- That was her favourite pastime.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- A note of contentment - is found in her writing.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02- She publishes - a volume of short stories.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- A novel of hers - wins at the National Eisteddfod.
0:18:06 > 0:18:12- But despite her literary prominence, - she has no sense of belonging.
0:18:12 > 0:18:18- Despite being a mother once more, - she still longs for her own mother.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26- "I am a son of the sturdy
0:18:26 > 0:18:28- "Of the race of the jagged rocks
0:18:29 > 0:18:32- "Men who not once conceded any sin
0:18:33 > 0:18:37- "Heroes who bowed only to heaven
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- "Men with little mortal weakness.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46- "An ancestor of mine - was his religion's first martyr
0:18:46 > 0:18:49- "My great grandfather - was a hero of his time
0:18:49 > 0:18:51- "As for my grandfather
0:18:51 > 0:18:54- "I well know - that only the chill wind of death
0:18:55 > 0:18:57- "Could extinguish - his faith's flame.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05- "My father all his life - fought for principles
0:19:05 > 0:19:09- "He trod the narrow path - without stumbling
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- "I heard his prayer a hundred times
0:19:13 > 0:19:18- "But I never saw - a tear of regret on his cheek.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21- "I am a son of the sturdy
0:19:21 > 0:19:25- "But the unflinching ages - could not mould a hero out of me
0:19:26 > 0:19:30- "Only a mother - can forgive me for my sins
0:19:30 > 0:19:33- "She is not one of the sturdy race."
0:19:44 > 0:19:47- She once said that she wasn't - overly fond of the sea.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51- But it was to a seaside town - that Dilys Cadwaladr came...
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- ..to be crowned, - at the Rhyl National Eisteddfod.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00- The subject for the 1953 Crown poem - was Y Llen - the curtain.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02- Hebog was called to stand.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- Dilys Cadwaladr answered the call.
0:20:07 > 0:20:12- The first woman ever - to win the Eisteddfod Crown.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15- Dilys Cadwaladr.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20- I was a five-year-old boy.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23- I recall the bard - being asked to stand.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26- Mam stood up on her feet.
0:20:26 > 0:20:31- A man told her to sit down, - "They're looking for a man."
0:20:34 > 0:20:36- I remember that.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47- "I persecuted a mystery - beyond the rainbow
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- "In the gloom of my cell I hid
0:20:49 > 0:20:53- "But I turned - when the imagination
0:20:53 > 0:20:56- "Of what they - call the muse of love ceased.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59- "I went back - to handling vegetables.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06- "But I know by rummaging - through lineage and ancestry
0:21:06 > 0:21:10- "That the depth of pain - is the depth of creation".
0:21:14 > 0:21:17- Pain is mentioned often in the poem.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20- Dewi Emrys - had died the year before.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25- It's hard not to detect - a longing for him in certain lines.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32- "I remembered Dafydd - and the warmth of his religion.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35- "The old religion - of the vale and the river.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39- "There is neither a dream - nor a free imagination.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43- "If only I could remove - the curtain drawn before my eyes
0:21:43 > 0:21:46- "The curtain - trembling by the hand of peace
0:21:47 > 0:21:49- "Trembling as it illuminates
0:21:50 > 0:21:57- "Just as a sickbed lightens - at death's retreat."
0:22:00 > 0:22:04- At that time, she being - the first female winner...
0:22:04 > 0:22:08- ..I believe it may not have been - very well received...
0:22:08 > 0:22:12- ..that she had prevailed - over the male poets.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20- In my view, - she was an exceptionally good poet.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24- I think it's because - she was so exceptionally good...
0:22:24 > 0:22:29- ..that she was able to overcome - the problems that arose.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33- She revealed - her innermost feelings to people.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37- Once they grasped - the importance of her themes...
0:22:37 > 0:22:39- ..she was alright.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44- She had something to say...
0:22:45 > 0:22:48- ..because she was - a strong personality.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52- She's worth reading, - that's for sure.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04- She had a happy time here - amid the beauty of Llyn Geirionydd.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09- She did, and when her son Shon - returned here to live...
0:23:09 > 0:23:13- ..it's little wonder - that she wrote an englyn for him.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17- He's urged to live freely, - as she would have liked to live.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21- "Allow the mist at night
0:23:22 > 0:23:24- "To fondle you in your cosy cottage
0:23:25 > 0:23:27- "Come, it's better you stay
0:23:28 > 0:23:31- "To live freely in a heath's haven."
0:23:56 > 0:23:58- S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.
0:23:58 > 0:23:58- .