0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23This is Impractical Jokers, the hidden camera show
0:00:23 > 0:00:27where four friends compete to embarrass each other in everyday situations.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30- The jokers are Joel Dommett... - What's your nan got to do with me?
0:00:30 > 0:00:32- ..Roisin Conaty...- Hello?
0:00:32 > 0:00:34- ..Paul McCaffrey...- Indeed!
0:00:34 > 0:00:36- ..and Marek Larwood. - Getting the boot.
0:00:36 > 0:00:42Pushing each other to the limit, they take it in turns to complete embarrassing challenges.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46- No!- They've got to do or say everything the other jokers tell them via a hidden earpiece.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49- Tell him he's making your pencil hot. - You're making my pencil hot, Rick.
0:00:49 > 0:00:54But if they refuse, they lose and they face a humiliating forfeit.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57It's a ruthless fight to the finish where there are no winners, just a loser.
0:00:57 > 0:01:01- Oh!- No!- Can't believe it!
0:01:07 > 0:01:11It's time for Challenge One, and the Jokers are at a garden centre
0:01:11 > 0:01:13where they are posing as members of staff.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16They have to do everything the others tell them via the hidden earpiece.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18If they refuse, they lose.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21First up, it's Paul.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25- 'Worzel Gummidge meets Ray Winstone!' - 'Could you make it look any worse?!' - 'Oh, my God!'
0:01:25 > 0:01:29- You look like proper old-school jester.- Right, the hat's coming off.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31THEY LAUGH
0:01:31 > 0:01:32The hat is coming off.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36- 'Danny Dyer does garden centre.' - Shut up.- 'Here we go.'
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Go straight into this bloke, here.
0:01:38 > 0:01:39Hello, mate.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41'Just say "boring".'
0:01:41 > 0:01:45- Boring, isn't it? - LAUGHTER
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Bored out of my mind.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49- Looking for anything special?- No.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50Put your hand on him,
0:01:50 > 0:01:55'and you've got to maintain physical contact for the whole thing.'
0:01:55 > 0:01:57- 'Do it, Paul.' - Anything else going on, today?
0:02:01 > 0:02:05- Oh, the tennis? Murray?- Yeah. - What do you reckon the chances are?
0:02:05 > 0:02:09- I think he might actually win. - Murray! You think he might win? Big time.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Tell him Alan TITMARSH offered you tickets.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Alan TITMARSH actually offers me tickets cos he comes in here all the time.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17'He fertilised the plans with his own muck, so you turned him down.'
0:02:17 > 0:02:21He, well, he fertilises our branch with his own muck, so I turned him down.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25- He's an odd character, Titchmarsh. - 'You've seen him do it live.'
0:02:25 > 0:02:28I've seen him do it live. Don't know what he eats, Titchmarsh.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31He'd put leaves on anything, I tell you. Strong, strong muck.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33THEY LAUGH
0:02:33 > 0:02:35I tell you what, have you seen these Sweet Williams?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37'Say, "It's great to say things with flowers,
0:02:37 > 0:02:38"but this one says 'fuck off'."
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Have a good day, yeah?
0:02:42 > 0:02:43THEY LAUGH
0:02:43 > 0:02:46So, Paul refuses to complete his final instruction,
0:02:46 > 0:02:48and gets himself a fail.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Next up, it's Roisin.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Hiya. Can I help you with anything?
0:02:53 > 0:02:57Ask if he ever speaks to his plants to help them grow.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01- Do you ever speak to your plants to make them grow?- No.- It really helps.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- 'Try this one.' - Try this one.
0:03:04 > 0:03:05"Grow, go on, grow!" Shout it.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Grow! Grow!
0:03:10 > 0:03:13- I'm talking to you! - I'm talking to you!
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Look at me when I'm talking to you!
0:03:15 > 0:03:18This one is angering me, it's got an attitude.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Just shout at it, "grow, you bastard!"
0:03:20 > 0:03:21THEY GIGGLE
0:03:21 > 0:03:26Grow, you bastards, grow! You embarrass me.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32- Hello.- Are you working here?- Yes, I am.- Can I give you these flowerpots?
0:03:32 > 0:03:36I just want them to be reused, because I think it's a really bad thing that...
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Say, "I'll take them now."
0:03:38 > 0:03:39I'll take them now.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Now immediately throw them over your shoulder.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45THEY LAUGH
0:03:46 > 0:03:49- Thank you.- 'Say, "Sorry, I need to have a drink now."
0:03:49 > 0:03:53- Sorry, I need to get some booze in me now.- 'Bye.' - Thank you very much, though.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57- 'Oh, no!- She's picking them up! - Oh, my God!- Terrible!'
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Roisin Successfully completes her challenge
0:04:00 > 0:04:03and gets herself a pass, putting pressure on the others
0:04:03 > 0:04:06when it's their turn. Next up, it's Marek.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Can I interest you in any of these plans, Sir? Do you need to know anything?
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Say, "This one is my wife, Lisa."
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- No, just looking. - This one's my wife, Lisa.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Look at his face!
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Gone. He's gone.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Can I help you with anything today, at all?
0:04:28 > 0:04:31- I'm looking for Airplants. - Airplants.- Yes.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34It's just down here, between the future and the past.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38It's just down here somewhere, between the future and the past.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Give them a leaf from a plant, and say "this is a free sample."
0:04:41 > 0:04:45OK, well, try this, this is a free sample we're giving out. Here.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47And then whisper, "don't tell my wife."
0:04:47 > 0:04:49(Don't tell my wife about that.)
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- Serious about that.- Yeah, sure. - Erm...
0:04:56 > 0:04:59How to look like a dick in 3.4 seconds.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04- Actually do look like someone who would work in a garden centre.- 100%.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06You really fit in.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10- What are you looking for today? - I wonder if you have any Brunnera?
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Ah, I think...
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Brunnera. OK.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16- Do you think you might have some? - Erm...
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Unfortunately, I think, erm...
0:05:19 > 0:05:23- Well, you're looking at one, lovely! - HE LAUGHS
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Marek, start to undo your zipper and then say,
0:05:29 > 0:05:33'"would you like to take advantage of my personal watering service?"'
0:05:33 > 0:05:38- Would you, erm...? - 'Start to undo your fly.' - Would you...?
0:05:39 > 0:05:43- Oh, it's gone, it's gone. Thank you. - THEY GROAN
0:05:45 > 0:05:49So, Marek refuses and joins Paul with a fail.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50Finally, it's Joel.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Hey, guys, how are you? Good to see you.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Can I help you with anything at all? Just having a quick wander around?
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Say, "Oh, my God! I want to help you so much it hurts."
0:06:02 > 0:06:06Guys, I really want to help you so much it hurts.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Ask him if he'd consider adopting you.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Have you ever considered maybe adopting me?
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Point to something, and then say
0:06:15 > 0:06:18"this plant actually help me learn Japanese."
0:06:18 > 0:06:21This... I mean, this plant over here, for instance...
0:06:21 > 0:06:26- 'Do it!' - This is a great one, it's actually helped me learn some Japanese.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29It's a Japanese plant.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Touch it, touch it and show them what happens.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34HE IMITATES JAPANESE
0:06:37 > 0:06:39So Joel bags himself a pass, meaning at the end of the first challenge
0:06:39 > 0:06:41it's Marek and Paul who are in
0:06:41 > 0:06:43last place with one fail each.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Time for Challenge Two.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50The Jokers will be giving CPR demonstrations to complete strangers,
0:06:50 > 0:06:55but they must do and say everything they are told to by the other Jokers.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57If they refuse, they lose, and remember -
0:06:57 > 0:07:02whoever gets the most fails overall faces a humiliating forfeit at the end of the show.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04First up, it's Paul.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Fantastic. Thanks very much for coming today.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09We're going to be learning a little bit about CPR.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13Has anyone actually done any CPR, before we get started, at any level?
0:07:13 > 0:07:16I did a little. It was like a baby course.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18No-one likes a show off.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22- That was a long time ago. Don't ask me do I remember...- No-one likes a show off.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24LAUGHTER
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Well done. OK, are you ready?
0:07:27 > 0:07:31- Yeah.- Mmm-hmm.- Yeah? OK.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Forgotten this bit. Hang on a second.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35There... I've forgotten this bit.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39I can't fail this again.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41I can't go back to prison.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43I can't go back to prison.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44Focus. Come on, Paul.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47I need to revive my goddamn self at the moment.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50I need to revive my goddamn self at the moment. I need this.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52OK, come on, let's go. OK.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58- Check for vital organs. - 'You could be looking at a gold mine on the black market.'
0:07:58 > 0:08:01You could be looking at a gold mine on the black market with this, guys.
0:08:01 > 0:08:02SHE LAUGHS
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Anyway, let's get pumping. OK.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10- Let's pump the shit out of this bitch.- Let's pump the shit out of this bitch.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it,
0:08:13 > 0:08:16pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17Shout with me, guys, come on!
0:08:17 > 0:08:21Pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23I'm almost touching cloth.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25I'm almost touching cloth.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28OK. Pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31If they are not reacting to anything else,
0:08:31 > 0:08:34and this is only DEFCON 1, guys, OK?
0:08:34 > 0:08:36There is a way to shock them back into life.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Start to undo your trousers.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39Erm...
0:08:41 > 0:08:44JOKERS GIGGLE 'You can do this. Come on.'
0:08:44 > 0:08:48- No, actually, that's it, guys. - Was that it?- That was it, yeah.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52Paul's failure to undo his trousers gets him his second fail of the day.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Next up, it's Joel.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57First of all, there's a lot of things you have to do
0:08:57 > 0:08:59before you start the actual procedures.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Firstly just check if it's a boy or a girl.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03First one being, check if it's a boy or a girl.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07And obviously, if it's a minger, probably kinder to just let them die.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11Guys, if it's a minger, probably best to leave it to die, you know what I'm saying?
0:09:11 > 0:09:15You tend to sort of go like that, right? And then,
0:09:15 > 0:09:17you'll sort of do it as long as you feel...
0:09:17 > 0:09:21You'll push out at least 15 farts out of this bastard.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24- It may sound very immature... - 'But you will push farts out.'
0:09:24 > 0:09:28But you will... You will definitely push farts out.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32One more thing that's worth bearing in mind, quite often when they've died,
0:09:32 > 0:09:35they will still be stiff.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Think it's only fair to give them a happy ending.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39So...
0:09:39 > 0:09:43Bearing in mind that they've just died, so it's only fair that you, erm...
0:09:43 > 0:09:46- that you, er... - 'Give them a happy ending, Joel.'
0:09:46 > 0:09:50Just make sure that you give them a really peaceful ending.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52You bottler!
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Joel's refusal to carry out his instruction
0:09:55 > 0:09:58results in his first fail of the day.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Now it's Roisin.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02OK, so what we're going to do, if you come over,
0:10:02 > 0:10:06so you can see that he's lying there, he's obviously in trouble.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09'First of all, check for a bellybutton.'
0:10:09 > 0:10:12So, when you see they are in trouble like this, check for a belly button.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15Bingo. What's the next check?
0:10:15 > 0:10:16Wallet.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Wallet.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22But, you know, if it's got 20 quid, no-one's going to know.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25We call that CPR tax,
0:10:25 > 0:10:27in the biz!
0:10:27 > 0:10:30- Let's see what's next. - 'Nip nips.'- The nip nips.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Bingo, bingo. We've got a hottie.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36Bingo, bingo. We've got a hottie.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40Let's go for this. He actually is quite hot.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43What I find really, really useful... You OK? What I find really useful.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46- Pay attention, please, Hitesh. - Please pay attention, Hitesh.
0:10:46 > 0:10:51Is to do... Are you paying attention or what? Is to do some chanting.
0:10:51 > 0:10:52THEY SNIGGER
0:10:54 > 0:10:58- SHE CHANTS - # Hum-ba-hey-yo Hum-ba-hey-yo
0:10:58 > 0:11:02# Open your eyes!
0:11:02 > 0:11:04# Hum-ba-hey-yo Hum-ba-hey-yo
0:11:04 > 0:11:07# Hum-ba-hey-yo Hum-ba-hey-yo
0:11:07 > 0:11:09# Open your eyes! #
0:11:09 > 0:11:12It's not working. It doesn't always work.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15CPR is not to be confused...
0:11:15 > 0:11:18- '..with CBT.' - With CBT. Does anyone know what that is?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22It's cock and ball torture.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Erm... I can't really remember any more of it, to be honest.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34Roisin bails out at the last minute and gets a fail.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Last up, it's Marek.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Thank you for coming here.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41The first thing you want to do in this situation is just...
0:11:41 > 0:11:42Check whether they are a dribbler.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Let's first of all check whether they are a dribbler.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48I've been involved with too many to go in cold again,
0:11:48 > 0:11:50so just check around the mouth first of all.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54'You can always put a bit of lipstick on the doll to make it more attractive.'
0:11:54 > 0:11:55I find...
0:11:56 > 0:11:59To add a bit of incentive,
0:11:59 > 0:12:02you can always add a little bit of lipstick to the doll.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04- It's actually quite serious, mate, so...- OK.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07If he's had a seizure...
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Sniff around the mouth to determine what they've eaten.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13To determine what they've eaten, you just need to...
0:12:13 > 0:12:14- HE SNIFFS - Garlic bread.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Is that ball bag? Can you smell ball bag?
0:12:16 > 0:12:22- Erm...- 'What can you smell, Marek?' - Is that ball bag? Can you...?
0:12:22 > 0:12:24'Start licking round the mouth.'
0:12:25 > 0:12:27'Yeah, that's ball bag.'
0:12:27 > 0:12:28Yeah, that is ball bag.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Pick him up and say, "he looks a lot like a guy
0:12:32 > 0:12:35"who bullied me at school", and start punching him in the face.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38I mean, this guy looks a bit like a guy who bullied me at school, so, erm...
0:12:38 > 0:12:42So that's why I'm a bit weird doing this meeting, to be honest.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43He looks... It's exactly the same.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Punch him in the face.
0:12:46 > 0:12:47Punch in the face.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50OK. It's exactly the same as... You know...
0:12:50 > 0:12:51That's for...!
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Right, well. That's it.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Marek succeeds in making it to the end of his demonstration
0:13:00 > 0:13:03and gets his first pass of the day.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05At the halfway mark, and after two challenges,
0:13:05 > 0:13:06it's Paul who is currently
0:13:06 > 0:13:08in last place with two fails.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14Challenge number three, and the Jokers are in Glasgow. Their task?
0:13:14 > 0:13:17To get complete strangers to take as many photos of them as possible.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20The Joker with the lowest number of photos loses, and gets a fail.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22First up, it's Paul.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26I was just wanting to get someone to take a couple of photos of me.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29- No chance.- Please say no.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31- Yeah.- Lovely, thank you very much.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33- Have you done photography before? - I'm doing it at college.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36You're doing it at college? Brilliant!
0:13:36 > 0:13:40- So jammy!- Unbelievable. - Legs permanently apart.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43- He's just akimbo constantly. - That is a sign of a man with piles.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46THEY LAUGH
0:13:46 > 0:13:50- How's that? What about one with the Olympics? - THEY LAUGH
0:13:50 > 0:13:54- Yeah, yeah.- 'Every pose he's more like an 18th-century chimney sweep.'
0:13:54 > 0:13:57That one goes quite nicely with the Greggs.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59There's a bus coming up, we got to get this!
0:13:59 > 0:14:02- Get that, definitely! Quick! What's he doing? - What's happening?
0:14:02 > 0:14:06You can come on here, man! This is a pedestrianisation.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Get another picture, quick!
0:14:08 > 0:14:12Quick! Get another picture! Another one, quick!
0:14:13 > 0:14:16She checked her clock. She's getting bored now.
0:14:16 > 0:14:20This is great, we're getting some really good stuff, here.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22And just quickly, the last one.
0:14:24 > 0:14:30The lion's head through the bushes, that is a great shot.
0:14:30 > 0:14:35Oh, thank you very much. God bless you. Thank you, take care.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37- Oh, and a kiss as well. - Oh, look at him!
0:14:37 > 0:14:40So, Paul manages to get eight photos taken,
0:14:40 > 0:14:43meaning they need to beat it to avoid getting a fail.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44Marek is up next.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48I think the problem Marek might come up against is
0:14:48 > 0:14:50he looks like he's recently been named and shamed.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55- Excuse me. Would you be able to take a photo of me?- Yeah.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57I'm only here for one day...
0:14:57 > 0:14:59A few different ones.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Try and make me look cool.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02He won't get loads with this game.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Keep pressing it. Get as many as possible.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06I want to make myself one of those animation films.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08It's a good pose.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10CAMERA WHIRS
0:15:10 > 0:15:11HE LAUGHS
0:15:11 > 0:15:14I'll do one like I'm about to take off into the sky.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16THEY LAUGH
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Loads of them like I'm flying...
0:15:19 > 0:15:22like I'm flying back home from Glasgow.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Can you get one?
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Can you come in the photo with me?
0:15:27 > 0:15:29- In the photo.- With you? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Look, I've got a friend.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33"Look, I've got friends" !
0:15:33 > 0:15:34Hands up! Having a good time!
0:15:34 > 0:15:36That's amazing!
0:15:36 > 0:15:37Thumbs up!
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Then I get cross with you. No!
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Then you run away.
0:15:44 > 0:15:45No!
0:15:48 > 0:15:49No! Get lost!
0:15:49 > 0:15:51HE LAUGHS
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Let me have a quick look.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Can I have one of you like we're mates?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58That's good, isn't it?
0:15:58 > 0:15:59That's great. Thanks, mate!
0:15:59 > 0:16:01CAMERA WHIRS
0:16:01 > 0:16:02Marek scores a total of 12 photos,
0:16:02 > 0:16:05meaning he's beaten Paul and gets himself a pass.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Now it's Roisin's turn.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11Excuse me, would you mind taking a photo of me?
0:16:11 > 0:16:13My boyfriend's going away for a long time.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15ALL: Ah!
0:16:15 > 0:16:17I'm not going to see him for three years.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19I want him to see all of my moods. Happy...
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Angry...
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Do you want to come in with the photo - be angry with me?
0:16:23 > 0:16:25I want to make him jealous, as well.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Come in, on you go.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Let's all do "angry".
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Who are all these people?!
0:16:31 > 0:16:32Let's do "sexy".
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Take two of each!
0:16:34 > 0:16:36That's brilliant. Excellent.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Go on mate - run off with the camera.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Look at me like you love me. Take as many as you can of us.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44She's trying to get off with everyone she talks to.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Thank you - just a couple more, just here.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48CAMERA WHIRS
0:16:48 > 0:16:49A bit lower.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Good one.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Can I have a quick look?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55She's losing, she's panicking.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Take them in succession - catch all my walking.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59THEY LAUGH
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Just keep taking them.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03"Keep taking them"!
0:17:03 > 0:17:05CAMERA WHIRS
0:17:05 > 0:17:08That's 40 photos to Roisin, meaning she's in the clear,
0:17:08 > 0:17:10and gets a pass.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Finally, it's Joel.
0:17:12 > 0:17:13To avoid getting a fail,
0:17:13 > 0:17:16he must better Paul's total of eight photos.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20'This guy.'
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Excuse me, sir.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24I was wondering if you could take a few pictures of me
0:17:24 > 0:17:27whilst I'm in this beautiful place. Is that all right?
0:17:27 > 0:17:28No problem.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31- Sorry, are you in a rush? - No, not at all.- Excellent.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33- Aw! Not in a rush!- No!
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Top right. Get the statue in - that would be great.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39'He's done this before. He's even doing the light!'
0:17:39 > 0:17:42'Looks "thorough", if I'd to sum him up in one word.'
0:17:42 > 0:17:44This man's amazing.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46This bloke's a camera thief!
0:17:46 > 0:17:51'Oh, that would be so funny!'
0:17:51 > 0:17:53- He doesn't know how to work the zoom. - God love him.
0:17:53 > 0:17:54'Just press "zoom out".'
0:17:54 > 0:17:57'I'd love him to run off with the camera.'
0:17:57 > 0:17:58THEY LAUGH
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Surely you can't see Joel from that distance!
0:18:03 > 0:18:04Have a look, see what you think.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07He's just stumbled on the most generous man in the world!
0:18:07 > 0:18:09There was one that I needed.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11The wanted photos of me doing a full lap of this statue.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Is that all right?
0:18:12 > 0:18:14'Go!'
0:18:14 > 0:18:19Just take as many photos as you can. this is perfect!
0:18:19 > 0:18:21I can't believe he's fallen for this!
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Just get one the other way, then we'll finish this off.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27- Let's do one more this way. - 'It's unprecedented.'
0:18:27 > 0:18:29- We have two each way. - 'Look at him!'
0:18:29 > 0:18:31This is perfect!
0:18:31 > 0:18:32They will love this!
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Oh, you're so good!
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Give me a hug, sir - you've been amazing.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Thanks so much for your help - have a lovely day!
0:18:40 > 0:18:43So Joel only manages to get six photos taken,
0:18:43 > 0:18:46meaning he comes last and gets another fail.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Which means, going into the Final Challenge,
0:18:49 > 0:18:50it's all to play for,
0:18:50 > 0:18:52as both Paul and Joel have two fails each.
0:18:52 > 0:18:56But who will lose overall and face this week's forfeit?
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Let's find out, as we head into the Final Challenge.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03The Jokers are in London and posing as sports reporters,
0:19:03 > 0:19:05interviewing members of the public.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08They don't know what they'll interview them about,
0:19:08 > 0:19:11as they have to do and say everything the other Jokers tell them to.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13If they refuse, they lose.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15First up, and currently in joint-last place,
0:19:15 > 0:19:17it's Joel.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20Excuse me. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions
0:19:20 > 0:19:22for a media website we're setting up?
0:19:22 > 0:19:23It's about sport.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- Are you a sporty person?- No.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27You're pretty fit, though, right?
0:19:27 > 0:19:28THEY LAUGH
0:19:29 > 0:19:32- You're pretty fit though, right? - Oh, yeah.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34If you were to go and watch
0:19:34 > 0:19:36any football team at all...
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Tottenham.
0:19:38 > 0:19:39Tottenham's your team, yeah?
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Now shout, "Tottenham!"
0:19:41 > 0:19:43He's from round that area.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45"Tottenham!" Yeah?
0:19:45 > 0:19:46Like, "Tottenham!"
0:19:46 > 0:19:47Shout it.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- SHOUTING:- "Tottenham!"
0:19:50 > 0:19:53"Tottenham!"
0:19:53 > 0:19:54I know their song.
0:19:54 > 0:19:55I know their song.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Make it up.
0:19:57 > 0:19:58There's this...
0:19:58 > 0:20:00I can't even remember, I went there last week.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02"Balls, balls..."
0:20:02 > 0:20:04It was like, "Tottenham!
0:20:04 > 0:20:07"balls, balls..."
0:20:07 > 0:20:09"Tottenham! Balls, balls, balls."
0:20:09 > 0:20:11You talk about balls a lot.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13I do talk about balls a lot.
0:20:13 > 0:20:14"Balls, balls, balls!"
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Louder and louder.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20- SHOUTING:- "Balls! Tottenham, balls!
0:20:20 > 0:20:21"Ba-a-a-alls.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23"Balls!"
0:20:23 > 0:20:25THEY LAUGH
0:20:25 > 0:20:27"Balls! Balls!"
0:20:27 > 0:20:30- Are we done?- I think I'm done.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32So Joel bags himself that all-important pass,
0:20:32 > 0:20:35but will it be enough to avoid facing the forfeit?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Next up, it's Roisin.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Is it possible I can ask you a few questions about sport...
0:20:40 > 0:20:42- for a new website based on sport? - OK.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Wonderful. How would you get kids into sport?
0:20:45 > 0:20:48I guess, offer more sports at school.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50'Sing it back to her.'
0:20:50 > 0:20:52# I didn't really get into sport when I was little. #
0:20:52 > 0:20:54I'll just clarify. You said...
0:20:54 > 0:20:57# I didn't really get into sport when I was little. #
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- Yeah.- Yeah. OK, brilliant.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01What is your favourite sport?
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- I like dancing.- 'Sing it back.'
0:21:03 > 0:21:04You like dancing?
0:21:04 > 0:21:05OK.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06In the style of a rap star.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10- AMERICAN ACCENT:- You like dancing?
0:21:10 > 0:21:13And prancing and moving around?
0:21:13 > 0:21:14Ask why.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Can I just ask you why?
0:21:16 > 0:21:19I guess I don't play any competitive sports myself.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21'Why?'
0:21:21 > 0:21:23- Why?- I don't really know.
0:21:23 > 0:21:24Why?
0:21:24 > 0:21:26- Why?- I don't know.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30Now start asking questions in the style of an American preacher.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32- AMERICAN ACCENT:- You're at a football game...
0:21:32 > 0:21:36and everybody's watching.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39"All the people watching the game now!"
0:21:39 > 0:21:42All the people watching, and they're cheering!
0:21:42 > 0:21:45"And they're screaming their souls dry!"
0:21:45 > 0:21:48And they're screaming, "Please let them win!
0:21:48 > 0:21:51"PLEASE LET THEM WIN!
0:21:51 > 0:21:53"I can't take another loss!"
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Would you be happy? Would you watch it?
0:21:55 > 0:21:56Yeah.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58You'd watch that...?
0:21:58 > 0:21:59THEY LAUGH
0:21:59 > 0:22:02That's another pass for Roisin.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Next, it's Marek.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07Hello, sir. Can you answer some questions for a new sports website?
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Thanks, mate.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12"I'm from a cricket website called LBW - Leg Before Willy."
0:22:12 > 0:22:15It's a cricket website - Leg Before Willy.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17- Do you know anything about cricket? - Not much.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19You are cricket-crazy, say.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21I'm cricket-crazy!
0:22:21 > 0:22:24Ask him a question and never get to the actual question.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Really long-winded.
0:22:26 > 0:22:27Sorry...
0:22:27 > 0:22:30When you first go to...
0:22:30 > 0:22:32the place...
0:22:32 > 0:22:34after you've... when you've finished,
0:22:34 > 0:22:35when you see them start...
0:22:35 > 0:22:37after that bit, when...
0:22:37 > 0:22:38'Keep going.'
0:22:38 > 0:22:40..During the early stages.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Stop - and just stare at him, straight in the face.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47You've lost me.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51THEY LAUGH
0:22:54 > 0:22:56I think he's lost me now.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Hold it!
0:23:01 > 0:23:02Thanks a lot. See you later.
0:23:06 > 0:23:07"Cricket-crazy"!
0:23:09 > 0:23:10Cricket-crazy.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12That's a pass for Marek.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Where's John gone?
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Finally, it's Paul.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19If he's to avoid facing this week's forfeit,
0:23:19 > 0:23:21he's got to get himself a pass.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Hello, mate. I'm doing a couple of questions for a sport website.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26- Are you up for answering...?- Yeah!
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Could you just stand up - is that OK?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30"Actually, sit down - sorry."
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Sit down, sorry.
0:23:32 > 0:23:33"Stand up."
0:23:33 > 0:23:35No, actually, stand up.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Let me get this right.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39"You sit down."
0:23:39 > 0:23:43Let me just...
0:23:43 > 0:23:45OK.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47- Dave, are you a sports fan? - Uh... yeah.
0:23:47 > 0:23:48OK. Who's your team?
0:23:48 > 0:23:53Erm... Arsenal... down here, and Halifax, up in Yorkshire.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Reveal the horror of your own life. Your wife's left you.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58HE SIGHS
0:23:59 > 0:24:00I love Arsenal, as well.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Sorry about this, man.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04I'm having a hard time at the moment.
0:24:04 > 0:24:05My wife's just left me...
0:24:05 > 0:24:07and everything reminds me...
0:24:07 > 0:24:08OK, so, Halifax -
0:24:08 > 0:24:11- do you go and watch Halifax a lot? - Not now.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12"She's taken the kids."
0:24:12 > 0:24:14HE SIGHS
0:24:14 > 0:24:16She took the kids.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18It's not funny.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20"They were fat pricks, but..."
0:24:20 > 0:24:21I mean, they were fat pricks...
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Oh, were they?
0:24:23 > 0:24:24HE LAUGHS
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Dave, let's talk football.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27What d'you think of Spain?
0:24:27 > 0:24:28Er... the best team.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30"That's where my wife is now, that bitch."
0:24:30 > 0:24:32That's where my wife is now, the fucking bitch.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34England are crap.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Shout "I'm a shell of a man."
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Silly cow - I'm a fucking shell of a man, Dave.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Just start shouting it.
0:24:41 > 0:24:42I'm a SHELL of a man!
0:24:43 > 0:24:45Give him the microphone and walk off.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49Just take that a minute, Dave. I'm a fucking shell of a man.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50HE SIGHS
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Just walk off. Keep walking.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54THEY LAUGH
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Don't take my job, it's all I've got.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00THEY LAUGH
0:25:00 > 0:25:02It's the only thing I've bloody got left.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05"Do me a favour and shut your fucking mouth."
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Dave, do me a favour.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11- HE LAUGHS - OK, it's been a fantastic afternoon, Dave.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13God bless you, thank you very much.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Dave!
0:25:15 > 0:25:19So Paul bottles it and gets his third fail of the day...
0:25:19 > 0:25:21meaning he finishes in last place,
0:25:21 > 0:25:23making him this week's loser.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25And now he has to face the consequences.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31With three fails to his name, it's time for Paul's mystery forfeit,
0:25:31 > 0:25:34which will take place in this busy bookshop
0:25:34 > 0:25:36and in front of an audience.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Hello, Paul McCaffrey.
0:25:38 > 0:25:39Get off!
0:25:39 > 0:25:41- You seem stressed.- I AM stressed.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Well, you should be.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46You have to go and read a passage of your latest novel.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48ROISIN: The one you've written?
0:25:48 > 0:25:50There's a lot of people downstairs waiting for you
0:25:50 > 0:25:51to do an extract from your new book.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54This is the book you'll read from.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57I know you've spent a lot of time working on it.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59It's Pablo & Pascal Go To Mykonos.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02By Paul McCaffrey - a gay whodunnit.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Don't open it now.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06You have to read it when you get in front of the people.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08This is out of order.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Yeah, it is. See you later, mate. Bye!
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Unfortunately for Paul, the Jokers forgot to tell him
0:26:13 > 0:26:16that the pages in his book are all blank.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Please join me in welcoming Paul McCaffrey.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21APPLAUSE
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Confidence finally gone!
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Hello, thank you very much. It's very kind of you to listen.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31I'll just be reading a short
0:26:31 > 0:26:34passage from my new novel.
0:26:35 > 0:26:36THEY LAUGH
0:26:38 > 0:26:42It's nothing but blank pages to be found there, Paul.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Pablo came out from the pool.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47His body was glistening in the sunlight.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Pascal was sat...
0:26:52 > 0:26:55on his...
0:26:55 > 0:26:56sorry, that's the wrong chapter.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58HE LAUGHS
0:27:00 > 0:27:01OK.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04No, that is the right chapter. Sorry!
0:27:04 > 0:27:05It was a hot day.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07The atmosphere was one of...
0:27:07 > 0:27:10horror. Shock.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12With an undercurrent of joy.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Dinner that night was fraught
0:27:15 > 0:27:18with... confusion...
0:27:18 > 0:27:20complications...
0:27:20 > 0:27:21and a lovely chicken dinner.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Plump...
0:27:23 > 0:27:25and cooked just-so.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29They possibly hadn't done enough potatoes,
0:27:29 > 0:27:33but this was something they were not going to let get in the way of a lovely meal.
0:27:33 > 0:27:34HE LAUGHS
0:27:34 > 0:27:37That's the end of chapter three, guys.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39I'd like to throw it out to the floor -
0:27:39 > 0:27:42if anyone has questions about the book, feel free to ask.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47No questions! No interest whatsoever!
0:27:47 > 0:27:50No? OK, well,
0:27:50 > 0:27:53all it remains for me to say is thank you very much for listening,
0:27:53 > 0:27:56and enjoy the rest of your evening. Thanks very much. Cheers. Bye-bye.
0:27:56 > 0:27:57APPLAUSE
0:28:01 > 0:28:04- HE WHISPERS:- That was a horror. That was horrendous.
0:28:04 > 0:28:09I'll tell you what - next week, I'll get you back.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12That was out of order - one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever had to do.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15Mark my words - I'll get you back.
0:28:15 > 0:28:16Next week.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21That's all for this week.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24Coming soon, Paul is out of control...
0:28:26 > 0:28:27and Marek takes up photography.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30This is some of the best stuff I've ever done.
0:28:56 > 0:28:59Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd