0:00:02 > 0:00:08This programme contains some strong language
0:00:20 > 0:00:23'This is Impractical Jokers, the hidden camera show
0:00:23 > 0:00:25'where four friends compete to embarrass each other
0:00:25 > 0:00:28'in everyday situations.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30- 'The jokers are Joel Dommett...' - Balls, balls, balls.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32- '..Roisin Conaty...'- Nip-nips.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34- '..Paul McCaffrey...'- Yeah!
0:00:34 > 0:00:36- '..and Marek Larwood.' - Look at me!
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Pushing each other to the limit,
0:00:38 > 0:00:40they take it in turns to complete embarrassing challenges.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42They've got to do or say
0:00:42 > 0:00:45everything the jokers tell them, via a hidden earpiece
0:00:45 > 0:00:46Howl like a werewolf.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48HE HOWLS
0:00:48 > 0:00:52But if they refuse, they lose and face a humiliating forfeit.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54It's a ruthless fight to the finish
0:00:54 > 0:00:57where there are no winners, just a loser.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05It's time for challenge one,
0:01:05 > 0:01:09and our jokers are posing as photographers in a shopping centre,
0:01:09 > 0:01:12where they'll be taking portrait photos of members of the public.
0:01:12 > 0:01:13But they've got to do and say
0:01:13 > 0:01:17everything the other jokers tell them to, via the hidden earpiece,
0:01:17 > 0:01:19and if they refuse, they lose.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22First up, it's Marek.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Hello there, would you like a free portrait today? Today only.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Brilliant. Thank you so much. Absolutely free, a bit of fun.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29We're doing it cos we're thinking of setting up a shop,
0:01:29 > 0:01:32so we're doing lots of free ones today, to get people interested.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35- Just take a seat there. What's your name?- Rebecca.- My name's Marek.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37- Thank you so much.- Nice to meet you.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39- Let's do a couple of shots. - Drop to the floor.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Got some new techniques - I'm just going to do this...
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Now start rolling across the floor, photographing.
0:01:45 > 0:01:50That is perfect. Don't worry about that. That is perfect.
0:01:50 > 0:01:51I mean, that is really...
0:01:51 > 0:01:54This is some of the best stuff I've ever done.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00Keep smiling. Look at the camera, please. That's it.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02I mean, this is amazing.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05That is beautiful, actually.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Keep looking at the camera.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Don't worry about that. Get out of it.
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Do some sexy poses.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16- Wonderful. That is wonderful. - Get lower, lower.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19- Keep looking to... - More sexy, more sexy.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21- Get sexy.- More sexy.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24It helps if I pose, too.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27I mean, I can do my human tripod, if you want.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- No.- Wonderful. You've been brilliant, thank you.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32You're made of magic. I'm made of sand.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Perfect, perfect.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38So, Marek passed his challenge and gets the first pass of the day.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Next up, it's Roisin.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44- Hiya, would you be interested in a free photo today?- Free photo?- Yeah!
0:02:44 > 0:02:50- Some people say a picture tells 1,000 words.- Me? I think one.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53- I think one.- 'Ah, yeah!'
0:02:54 > 0:02:56That word is...
0:02:56 > 0:02:58ah, yeah!
0:03:00 > 0:03:03- Take one picture of him, then one of yourself.- One for you.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05One for me.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09One for you.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11One for me.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- One for you... - Roisin, if you part the curtains,
0:03:14 > 0:03:17there's a lovely backdrop that we've prepared for you.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20We're going to have a new backdrop, just to spice things up.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27JOKERS GIGGLE
0:03:29 > 0:03:33- 'How do you like that?'- That is...
0:03:33 > 0:03:38I've stopped working out though, so I've lost my physique.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Would you like to stand just up next to the backdrop?
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Ask him if he's seen your thighs.
0:03:43 > 0:03:44Have you seen my thighs?
0:03:44 > 0:03:50- They used to call me the nutcracker. - They used to call me the nutcracker.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54- Get him to put his hand on your thigh.- If you just put your hand on the backdrop.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58OK, no. That's enough of that backdrop.
0:03:58 > 0:03:59Easy, Tiger!
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Start taking photos of his crotch.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10Roisin refuses the money shot,
0:04:10 > 0:04:13so she gets the first fail of the day.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Now, it's Paul.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21OK, let's just get a couple going, just to start off with. Smile.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25- Lovely.- 'A bit more.'- A bit more.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27A bit less.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29And just a touch less.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31- 'A tiny bit more.'- A tiny bit more.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35Now try the backdrop.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39Right, OK. So, just going to be doing...
0:04:39 > 0:04:43Just going to do something behind this curtain.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54God. Oh, no.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59OK, I'm really sorry about this.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03That's the wrong backdrop, sorry.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06'Oh, no!'
0:05:06 > 0:05:08I am sorry about that.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Paul refuses to take a photo with the backdrop,
0:05:12 > 0:05:14so he gets a fail.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Last up, it's Joel.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18What do you want, macho pictures?
0:05:18 > 0:05:21What do you want? Sort of, macho pictures? Macho stuff.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Take a seat. Let's do this.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28Gradually move closer until the camera is touching his forehead. See how close you can get.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Keep smiling.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Lovely.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37Come on, that's great. That is great.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39All right, ah!
0:05:39 > 0:05:42What a brain!
0:05:42 > 0:05:45- You are quite close.- Yeah, man!
0:05:45 > 0:05:49Start moving it down his body. Just taking the camera down his body, just pushing against him.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52HE WHEEZES Come on.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02Here we go, that's great. That is great. Take a stand.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05- Yes, that's the one. - Just go up against his nipple.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14There we go. That's the one.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17That the close-up.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19- I just wanted to get them lively. - I want to get them lively a bit.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Take a picture of your own crotch
0:06:21 > 0:06:23and say, "This one's for you, sweetheart."
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Joel loses his bottle and gets his first fail.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35So, at the end of the first challenge,
0:06:35 > 0:06:38Roisin, Joel and Paul all have one fail each.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Time for challenge two.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42The jokers will be taking it in turns
0:06:42 > 0:06:45to pitch their fake autobiographies to a focus group.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48They've got to say everything that appears on the projector screen
0:06:48 > 0:06:50about their book, which the other jokers have written.
0:06:50 > 0:06:55Whoever's pitch scores the lowest from the focus group gets a fail.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58- First up, it's Marek. - Hello, Stuart, how are you doing?
0:06:58 > 0:07:01I'm just going to take you through...
0:07:01 > 0:07:03the book that's going to be published.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Just a few ideas from chapters, to see if people are interested,
0:07:06 > 0:07:10so I can work out which bits are best to focus on, get people's ideas.
0:07:10 > 0:07:15So, it's My Life. My name's Marek Larwood. OK, let's have a good look.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17I can't sleep without a hankey.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21Erm... It's sort of like a security blanket thing.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27Things people don't know about me - this is where it gets a bit more interesting.
0:07:27 > 0:07:32I put this voice on. It's like a nervous thing, nervous thing.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33It's not my actual voice.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36My real voice is probably a bit nicer than this.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38OK. Erm...
0:07:38 > 0:07:41JOKERS GIGGLE
0:07:41 > 0:07:45And I'm one-tenth bisexual.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- Have you ever heard of that before? - No.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52It's sort of...
0:07:52 > 0:07:56You know, I suppose you like the idea of it.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59OK.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01I like boobs.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06I mean, I probably didn't need to write that as an actual thing. OK.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07OK.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Um...
0:08:09 > 0:08:11This...
0:08:11 > 0:08:13is...
0:08:13 > 0:08:17That's a graph.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20That's a graph. I just sort of compiled this.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22A lot of it's just guesswork.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25The End.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28The End. That's my book. Thank you for listening.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30I'm going to give you some paper to mark me
0:08:30 > 0:08:32on what bits you liked about my book.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Thank you very much, lovely to meet you. Take care.
0:08:34 > 0:08:35Thanks a lot. Take care.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Based on what we saw, if we're basing it on what I think they want...
0:08:38 > 0:08:41I'd be very reluctant...
0:08:41 > 0:08:45- How low would you go?- I would be two or three.- I was going to say three.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46Let's say three.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49So, the focus group scores Marek three,
0:08:49 > 0:08:53meaning that's the figure to beat, to avoid getting a fail.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59'He looks like he's waiting for his parole officer.'
0:08:59 > 0:09:01'Someone's told him Paul Weller's dead.'
0:09:01 > 0:09:02THEY LAUGH
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Hello there. Thank you very much for doing this.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Basically, this is my book.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10My Life, by Paul McCaffrey - Working title.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13So, I'm just sort of looking to get a bit of feedback, really.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Just to see, kind of, how people feel about it, really.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Things people don't know about me.
0:09:21 > 0:09:26Originally from Southampton. Have you ever been?
0:09:27 > 0:09:28OK.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Big balls.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33Big balls.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Nicknames I've had.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Swimming Paul.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Don't have to explain that one.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Paul Table.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Paul.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Bit unimaginative, but...
0:09:57 > 0:09:58Non-tug days.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01I think it's important to have them.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Easter Sunday, definite no-no.
0:10:07 > 0:10:12Most funerals. There has been the odd one. I will say, most funerals.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14The End.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18And it's been really nice to meet you both
0:10:18 > 0:10:20and I hope you enjoyed what you saw.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Not a lot happened.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24There wasn't anything to it, really.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26- Give him four.- Let's say a four.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28So Paul scores a four,
0:10:28 > 0:10:31meaning he beats Marek and gets himself a pass.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Next up, it's Roisin.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37OK, so I'm just going to give you a snapshot of the book.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40A feel, so that I can work out where the strengths are
0:10:40 > 0:10:42and where the weaknesses are and stuff like that.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Is that all right? Brilliant. So, just go through it.
0:10:45 > 0:10:50Things I'm not proud of, in order from least least proud
0:10:50 > 0:10:52to most least proud.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55Generally, most things.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03I wipe from the back to the front.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08That's just common sense.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11This is one of my favourite bits of the book.
0:11:11 > 0:11:15Things I will eat once they've been on the floor.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Everything. Absolutely everything.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23My favourite things are...
0:11:23 > 0:11:25- tiramisu.- I love tiramisu.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29You love tiramisu? You're going to love this book. A lot about tiramisu.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Other favourite things.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33She's going to go mental right now.
0:11:38 > 0:11:39THEY LAUGH
0:11:39 > 0:11:43And, erm...
0:11:43 > 0:11:44over eight inches.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46And...
0:11:49 > 0:11:53Yeah. I mean, they are... What's not to like about that?
0:11:53 > 0:11:56They'd be everyone's favourite.
0:11:56 > 0:12:01That's the end. My name's Roisin and I hope you enjoyed my book.
0:12:01 > 0:12:05- What do you want to give it out of ten? Six?- Yeah.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Roisin bags herself a six
0:12:06 > 0:12:09and, in the process, gets a pass.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Finally, it's Joel.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13If he's to avoid getting a fail,
0:12:13 > 0:12:15he must score higher than Marek's three.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Welcome, welcome.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21So, basically, today I'm just going to show you general topics and ideas
0:12:21 > 0:12:23that will be contained in my book.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Let's just crack straight on. Just crack straight on.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Things people don't know about me.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33I instinctively smile when I hate someone. So, erm...
0:12:35 > 0:12:36There we go.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44I laugh about smiling when I... HE SUBSIDES INTO LAUGHTER
0:12:47 > 0:12:51So, erm... These are my top fart noises.
0:12:51 > 0:12:52PRRRT!
0:12:57 > 0:12:58BLEURT!
0:13:03 > 0:13:04PLOOP!
0:13:04 > 0:13:06That was a wet one.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21I don't know whether that's something I want to include in my book.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Let's do a...
0:13:25 > 0:13:27There we go, skip over that one.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29That is the end.
0:13:29 > 0:13:34- That is literally the end of my life. - Out of ten?- I would just say one.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38So Joel scores a sorry one,
0:13:38 > 0:13:41meaning he comes last and gets a fail.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44At the halfway mark, after two challenges,
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Joel is in last place, with two fails.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Challenge three, and the jokers will be taking it in turns
0:13:52 > 0:13:55to drive a remote-controlled car around a park.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58But the car is actually being controlled by the other jokers,
0:13:58 > 0:14:01who will be deliberately crashing it into members of the public.
0:14:01 > 0:14:06Whichever joker gives in and walks away with the fewest crashes loses.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09It's all to play for, and remember, whoever gets the most fails overall
0:14:09 > 0:14:13faces a humiliating forfeit at the end of the show.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16First up, it's Joel,
0:14:16 > 0:14:19who's currently in last place, so he really needs a pass.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21This is so horrible.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27I can't look. It's too embarrassing.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45He just keeps reversing back into him!
0:14:45 > 0:14:48He's getting pissed off.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Hi, why do you keep doing this?
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Need to get better at this.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Joel gives up after five crashes,
0:14:57 > 0:15:01so that's the number to beat, to avoid getting a fail.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Next, it's Marek.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06- Right into her arse.- Yeah.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Yeah.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25JOKERS CHUCKLE
0:15:25 > 0:15:26Let's get a good run-up.
0:15:37 > 0:15:38Oh, God.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41Ah, uh...
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Come on, Marek.
0:15:44 > 0:15:45Here we go.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Sorry, I don't think it's working.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53Sorry.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Marek bails out after six crashes, beating Joel
0:15:56 > 0:15:59and getting that all-important pass.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Now, it's Paul.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04- Go, go, go.- Quick.- Follow him.
0:16:08 > 0:16:09And again.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11THEY CHUCKLE
0:16:15 > 0:16:17And then reverse again. Reverse again.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25And again.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27What?! Don't kill him.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31CAR SCREECHES
0:16:31 > 0:16:33JOKERS LAUGH
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Follow him really slowly, and stop when he stops.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Just follow him really slowly.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Go. Go. Get him.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44I've got his foot.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Paul's had enough and walks away.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03But he's got seven crashes, so he avoids a fail.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08So Roisin needs to beat Joel's score of five crashes to get a pass.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Let me cover you.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28I think we're going to do a speed one.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30- Get some speed up.- I know.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33You might maim them.
0:17:36 > 0:17:37I can't look at them.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45She's going round them in circles.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48Ooh. She's clocked her.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49- ROISIN:- Sorry.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Sorry, sorry.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Sorry. Sorry.
0:17:55 > 0:17:56Sorry.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Roisin bottles it after only four crashes,
0:18:00 > 0:18:04which is the lowest score, and she gets her second fail of the day.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08- Fucking bastards. Right over her hand.- Good driving, Roisin.
0:18:08 > 0:18:09Excellent.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Which means, as we head into the final challenge,
0:18:12 > 0:18:14it's all to play for, with Joel and Roisin
0:18:14 > 0:18:16neck-and-neck on two fails each.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Challenge four and the jokers are posing as foreign-language
0:18:22 > 0:18:24teachers, getting prospective students to read phrases
0:18:24 > 0:18:27written by the other jokers, but they won't know
0:18:27 > 0:18:29the English translation till they turn over the card.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32They must do and say everything the other jokers tell them,
0:18:32 > 0:18:35and if they don't sign up a new student, they fail.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38First up, it's Paul.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- Pleased to meet you. Thanks very much for coming.- That's all right.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Hi. So, er...let's learn bloody German.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52These are flash cards. Basically, I'm going to be going through some common phrases. OK.
0:18:52 > 0:18:53Hallo.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57- Hallo.- Hallo.- OK.
0:18:57 > 0:18:58Hello.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Do you want to read this one out?
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Ich habe ein Glockenspiel bis mein Hintern.
0:19:05 > 0:19:06OK.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12I've got a glockenspiel up my bum.
0:19:12 > 0:19:13HE LAUGHS
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Don't know when you'd need that, but it's always good to know.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22- OK.- Just going to finish off with a traditional German dance.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26- Are you a dancer?- Oh, I love a bit of dancing.- Slap my thigh!
0:19:26 > 0:19:30This dance contains all of the German words in moves.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34This dance will basically communicate all of the words in moves.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38And then put one hand on your nipple, and off. Look at him.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41'Look at him.'
0:19:41 > 0:19:42Say Bundesliga.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Bundesliga.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Bundesliga.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Bundesliga.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52- 'Again. Bundesliga.'- Bundesliga.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- 'Really angry, shout Bundesliga.' - Bundesliga!
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Bundesliga!
0:19:59 > 0:20:01- 'All right. Sit down. Sit back down.'- Phew!
0:20:01 > 0:20:05- After that taster, would you be interested in signing up for a whole course?- Yeah.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08- No!- Bundesliga.- Is that it?
0:20:08 > 0:20:12Paul successfully signs up a student, and gets another pass.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13Next is Marek.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19- Right, OK. Have you ever tried any Icelandic before?- No.
0:20:19 > 0:20:24OK. Right, let's start off with...some flash cards. Just some basic stuff.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Mit-naf-uuurrr.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28- Mit-naf-uuurrr.- Perfect.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31To get the right sound, you need to close your mouth more - like this.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34To get the sound on that, you need to just close your mouth a bit more.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36So it's...
0:20:36 > 0:20:38With your mouth like an arsehole.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41So it's just a bit, sort of... A bit like an arsehole sort of thing.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45OK, so let's move onto the next one, then.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47'Do it in the style of a really old man.'
0:20:47 > 0:20:50This is quite a traditional old person's sentence,
0:20:50 > 0:20:52so I'll do it in an old man's voice.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54- COMEDY OLD MAN'S VOICE: - Kuldi vind...
0:20:59 > 0:21:00Kuldi vindur...
0:21:00 > 0:21:01'Older. Older.'
0:21:01 > 0:21:05Ge... Sorry, I'm not old enough. I need to add another ten years on that. Sorry.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06JOKERS CHUCKLE
0:21:06 > 0:21:09- RASPING:- Kuldi vindur...
0:21:09 > 0:21:12geirvorturnar minar...
0:21:12 > 0:21:13Let's see what that means.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18It's, um... The cold wind is turning...
0:21:18 > 0:21:20my nipples into coat pegs. OK.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22JOKERS EXPLODE WITH LAUGHTER
0:21:24 > 0:21:26'Tell her one of the most beautiful things you've ever heard...'
0:21:26 > 0:21:29One of the most beautiful things I ever heard...
0:21:29 > 0:21:31..is the mating call of a reindeer.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37I defy you not to be moved by this.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39It's the mating call of the reindeer.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42So I'll just do this quickly.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44HOO-HOO!
0:21:46 > 0:21:48HOO! I'm being hunted, so...
0:21:48 > 0:21:50HOO-HOO!
0:21:50 > 0:21:52HOO-HOO!
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Please don't get me, which translated into Norway is...
0:21:54 > 0:21:56HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!
0:21:58 > 0:21:59HE NEIGHS
0:22:00 > 0:22:03HE NEIGHS
0:22:03 > 0:22:05So that's, er... That's the reindeer.
0:22:07 > 0:22:12- Would you consider taking my class, as a class?- I don't think so.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Marek's student refuses to sign up,
0:22:16 > 0:22:18so he gets his first fail of the day.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Now it's Joel.
0:22:21 > 0:22:25With two fails, he desperately needs a pass, to avoid the forfeit.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28- It's going to be interesting. Are you excited?- Yeah.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32- Have you ever, sort of, approached Mandarin at all?- Never.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35- So let's do some flash cards. - So this is just basic?
0:22:35 > 0:22:38- Yeah, this is pretty basic stuff. - OK.
0:22:38 > 0:22:44Tam-noo-wa-ashay-wassa-ooh-wadda-cow- tow-kun-yen-a-shi-shi.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46- WHISPERS:- She's pretty good.
0:22:46 > 0:22:47That means egg?!
0:22:47 > 0:22:48That means egg.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54- All of that means egg? - All of that means egg.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Just try this one.
0:22:56 > 0:23:04Um...Wadda-ti-ee-tiem-dushay-ola- hoiz-hwa-long-beetra-a...
0:23:04 > 0:23:06When she finishes, look at her and shout, "How dare you?"
0:23:06 > 0:23:08How dare you?
0:23:12 > 0:23:13It means...
0:23:13 > 0:23:17my favourite film is Crouching Dragon, Hidden Hard-On.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- That's a thing. It's a thing. It's a thing.- Ask her if she's seen it.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24- Have you seen it?- No. - Seen that film?- No.- It's a good one.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27It's a really good one. Let's try a few more.
0:23:27 > 0:23:32Swalla-washum-shvee-fit-sa-hao-si- bor-han.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34This one means... Ooh...
0:23:36 > 0:23:37You've...
0:23:38 > 0:23:41You've made my crispy seaweed go limp.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48Would you consider taking a slightly longer course with me in Cantonese?
0:23:48 > 0:23:50- Probably.- Probably?
0:23:50 > 0:23:53- She's going to take the course! - You're joking.
0:23:53 > 0:23:54Claire, you're amazing.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Joel turns on the charm, gets her signature
0:23:57 > 0:23:59and that all-important pass,
0:23:59 > 0:24:02meaning if Roisin fails, she will be crowned this week's loser.
0:24:02 > 0:24:03Peter.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07Hello, Peter. I'm Roisin. Lovely to meet you. Thanks for coming along.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10So we're going to be... I'm going to be going through some of the basics
0:24:10 > 0:24:12of French, so first of all...
0:24:12 > 0:24:15- Bonjour.- Bonjour.- Excellent. A-plus.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Tell him body language is very important with the French.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22Body language, Peter, is very important with the French.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Tell him to shrug his shoulders like he doesn't give a shit.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27So, um, if you could just
0:24:27 > 0:24:29shrug your shoulders, like you don't give a shit.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33- OK. Yeah, yeah.- Yeah? Bonjour.- Bonjour.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Tell him it's natural to get a boner
0:24:35 > 0:24:38- while you're speaking this language.- OK.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40OK. Peter, um... CLEARS THROAT
0:24:40 > 0:24:44..as we're going through these cards, it is...
0:24:44 > 0:24:47It's actually natural to get a boner
0:24:47 > 0:24:51when you're learning a French class sometimes, so just don't worry.
0:24:51 > 0:24:52Ignore it.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Anything you'd like to know how to say in French yourself?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Which turning off the roundabout do I take?
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Say, to be honest, you just need to get a satnav.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05You probably need to get a satnav. You don't need a dictionary for this.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07THEY LAUGH BREATHLESSLY
0:25:09 > 0:25:12You are now going to confess to a murder in French.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15What I'm about to show you is, if it ever happens, because it can
0:25:15 > 0:25:18happen - you go on holiday, you've had a night out, you have a drink,
0:25:18 > 0:25:21your beret's been nicked, and you end up killing someone.
0:25:21 > 0:25:26Typical Friday. And so you've got to confess to a murder.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28COMEDY FRENCH ACCENT: Uhhhhh.... J'ai killed 'im!
0:25:31 > 0:25:34With the 'ammer.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38I was on my 'olidays, and I killed 'im.
0:25:38 > 0:25:44And I didn't 'ave a satnav. Oh, j'habite, j'habite Londres!
0:25:45 > 0:25:47If I had to ask you today to say yes or no
0:25:47 > 0:25:50whether you'd come back to my French class, would you do it?
0:25:50 > 0:25:51- MAREK WHISPERS:- 'No.'
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Be honest. No.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Based on what you've told me today,
0:25:55 > 0:25:58- and if I really wanted to learn French, no.- No.
0:25:58 > 0:26:02Roisin doesn't sign up her student, so that's her third fail...
0:26:05 > 0:26:07..making her this week's loser.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Time for Roisin to face the consequences.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13THEY SING A BARBERSHOP HARMONY
0:26:16 > 0:26:20BOYS: # Roisin! You're the loser Loser, loser! #
0:26:20 > 0:26:22You are officially the loser, Roisin.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25But don't worry, because you know how you like singing
0:26:25 > 0:26:28the whole time? Well, you're going to get the chance to do that today.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30You're going to be serenading a table of diners.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32But what are you going to sing about?
0:26:32 > 0:26:35We are going to give you a song title in your ear, Roisin,
0:26:35 > 0:26:40of a song you have to completely make up on the spot.
0:26:40 > 0:26:41You horrible arseholes.
0:26:41 > 0:26:45- We just set the mark on how good the song needs to be.- Be lucky.
0:26:45 > 0:26:49'Here we go now. He we go. Ah, ah, ah, yeah!'
0:26:49 > 0:26:51'So, Roisin,'
0:26:51 > 0:26:54have you found the table you want to sing to? There they are.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56The big table. The nice big table.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59'And the title of your song is going to be...'
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Don't Touch Me With Those Grubby Fingers.
0:27:02 > 0:27:06'Serenade the restaurant, Roisin, Serenade the restaurant.'
0:27:08 > 0:27:12- 'Right up to them. Right up to them.'- 'Right up to the table, Roisin. Right up to the table.'
0:27:12 > 0:27:14# Don't touch me with those gru...
0:27:14 > 0:27:16SHE LAUGHS
0:27:16 > 0:27:21# Don't touch me with those with those grubby hands
0:27:21 > 0:27:25# Don't touch me with those grubby fingers
0:27:25 > 0:27:29# Don't touch me with those grubby hands
0:27:29 > 0:27:32# Don't touch me with those grubby fingers
0:27:33 > 0:27:38# And if you had washed your hands I'd let you touch me, touch me
0:27:38 > 0:27:39# With your grubby... #
0:27:39 > 0:27:41We're going to change the track.
0:27:41 > 0:27:46It's a reggae track called Babylon Disco. One, two, three, go.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48# Dirty hands
0:27:48 > 0:27:52- JAMAICAN ACCENT:- # And then I was at the Babylon disco
0:27:52 > 0:27:55# Just dancin' to the music
0:27:55 > 0:27:57# Dancin' in Babylon
0:27:57 > 0:28:00# Just dancin', just dancin'
0:28:00 > 0:28:03# I was dancin' in Babylon
0:28:03 > 0:28:07# With my friend named Su-usan. #
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Thank you very much.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13- WEAK APPLAUSE - Thank you. Thanks, guys.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19I'm actually traumatised.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24That's all from Impractical Jokers this week.
0:28:24 > 0:28:28Coming soon, the jokers will be analysing handwriting...
0:28:28 > 0:28:29You might have worms.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32..and trying not to scream.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34SCREAMS LOUDLY
0:29:00 > 0:29:03Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd